You Can Mentor: A Christian Mentoring Podcast | 220. Connection over Content // Mentoring Minute

Connection over Content - Let's keep it simple:

Pursue Kids: Are you going after them?
Pursue Jesus: Are you staying filled up so you can pour out?

What does it mean to connect?

Are you reaching out consistently?
Are you interested in what they are interested in?
Are you remembering important issues in their life?
Are you showing up? Games, events, etc…
Are you speaking life? When they leave your presence, how do you want them to feel?

“A kid doesn’t care what you know until they know that you care”

Mentors who invested into us - Often, we don't remember what they said, but we remember them showing up. We remember how they made me feel. Content is good. Teaching them things. Books. Pods. It is good... but it’s secondary.

Connection is primary.

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Contact us at zach@youcanmentor.com or at www.youcanmentor.com.

Creators & Guests

Host

Zachary Garza

Founder of Forerunner Mentoring & You Can Mentor // Father to the Fatherless // Author

What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Mentoring Podcast?

You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community.

We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.

Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.

Zach: 00:03

You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring organizations through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples. Learn more at you can mentor.com or follow us on social media. You can mentor. Zach Garza here with a mentoring minute. Hey.

Zach: 00:25

We're doing this new thing here at the You Can Mentor podcast called Mentoring Minutes, which is just a short little snippet that we hope encourages you as a mentor. Our secondary hope is that if you're a part of a mentoring organization that oversees mentors, it's our dream that you would share this with them in hopes that it would encourage them and help them become the best mentors possible. So today's Mentoring Minute is called Connection Over Content. You see, I was having a phone conversation with one of my buddies who runs a mentoring nonprofit in the great city of Dallas, Texas yesterday. And he was just calling me and he confessed and just said, man, I I just feel like such a failure.

Zach: 01:10

Like, I haven't given my mentors anything to, read as of late. I I I consistently feel like I'm dropping the ball on trainings, and I just don't know if I'm equipping them with enough tools to become the best mentors that they can be. And as he's saying this, I say to myself, man, I I have heard this before. You see, most mentoring nonprofits that I come in contact with have similar issues. Number 1, there's never enough mentors, and everyone's trying to figure out how can we recruit more.

Zach: 01:50

But the second one is I always feel like our mentors have a lack in regards to resources, in regards to content. I need the next podcast. I need the next book. I want to give them something so that they can learn how to better connect with their mentee. And as he's saying this, I just said, hey.

Zach: 02:13

Hey, bud. Look. I'm just here to tell you that if your mentors are, number 1, pursuing Jesus with all of their heart, and number 2, pursuing kids to the best of their ability, then you're good to go. That's that's, like, 90% of it. Right?

Zach: 02:36

So I wanna talk about connection over content. Now please don't hear me say that content is bad. I'm all for teaching our kids skills and, books and podcasts and sermons and and and helping them maximize their potential but but it's secondary. Someone once said that a kid doesn't care what you know until they know that you care. And, yeah, that that might be a tiny bit corny, but, man, that hits.

Zach: 03:07

Like, that is so true. You can have the best information in the entire world. And if a kid doesn't trust you, if a kid doesn't know that you're for them, they're not gonna listen to you. So what does it mean to connect as a mentor? Well, I'm gonna ask you these questions.

Zach: 03:24

Number 1, are you reaching out consistently? That could look like text. That could look like phone conversations. That could look like Instagram or TikTok. I don't care how you reach out.

Zach: 03:36

Just make sure that you are reaching out because we have to pursue them. Whenever we pursue kids, we make them feel full of worth and full of value and full of love. And that sounds a lot like Jesus. You know? Jesus went to the house of Zacchaeus.

Zach: 03:52

He pursued him. May we do the same? So are you reaching out consistently? One thing that I have found to help me do that is I just put it in my calendar. Hey.

Zach: 04:01

Every Tuesday, send a text. Every Thursday, have a voice memo. Just that's a one small little practical tip. Number 2, are you interested in what they are interested in? So one of my favorite stories comes from a mentor who had a kid that was just obsessed with video games.

Zach: 04:21

And this mentor one day comes and just says, man, I I can't support him in this. This isn't positive. I don't even like games. And I just encouraged him. Hey, man.

Zach: 04:32

Just just go and sit down with him and engage in the video game. So the next time that they were spending time he sat down and picked up a controller and he played a game with his kid and they sat there for an hour or so just doing their thing And then all of the sudden, the kid opens up about his relationship with his mom. Right? So whatever your kid is interested in, if it's basketball, if it's music, if it's dance, if it's drawing, if it's video games, do your best to be interested in that thing for the sake of the relationship. Yeah.

Zach: 05:08

You might not care about video games, but you care about the kid. And by caring about video games, you'll show the kid that you care about them. Number 3, are you remembering important issues in their life? Are you remembering the names of their siblings? Are you remembering their favorite class?

Zach: 05:26

Are you remembering, what they what y'all talked about last week? Are you remembering the show that he's watching that he's obsessed with? Right? If you can re remember important issues in their life that shows that you're paying attention, that shows that you're listening, and that shows that you care. I had a friend who he had he went to the store and bought a note card pack.

Zach: 05:53

And then he punched holes in the note card, and he put it on a key ring, and he put that key ring in his car. And after every time he hung out with his mentee, he would go and he would write on that note card what they talked about. Then the next time they hung out before he went to see his mentee, he would look at what they talked about to review that. That's a cool tip. Number 4, are you showing up?

Zach: 06:16

Are you showing up to games, events? If they invite you to anything, man, I I would I would really encourage you to try to move heaven and earth to do that. Now if you're like me and you have a family, you've got some kiddos, take a kid with you. You know, that it's always an easier ask for me and my wife if I say, hey. Can I go hang out with this kid and I'm gonna take my kids?

Zach: 06:39

You know? So, so that is a tip as well. But are we showing up? If they are singing at church, then go and support them. If they have a game, even if they're on, like, you know, the c team of softball, go and support because your presence says so much.

Zach: 06:59

And then lastly, are you speaking life over them? One question that I love to, ask myself is how do I want my mentee to leave after they hang out with me? And I want them to feel like they are the most important person in the world. I want them to feel encouraged. I want them to feel loved.

Zach: 07:17

I want them to feel supported. And that only happens if I'm, intentional about speaking life into them. So connecting with your kid, reaching out. Are you interested in what they're interested in? Are you remembering the things in their life that they deem important?

Zach: 07:33

Are you showing up, and are you speaking life? Because a kid doesn't care what you know until they know that you care. Yes. Content is good, but connection is what it's all about. God bless.

Zach: 07:46

I hope this benefits you as a mentor. Share it. Remember, you can mentor. Thanks for tuning in to the You Can Mentor podcast. Please share this with other mentors and download our free resources on our website.

Zach: 08:01

You can also order Zach's book, You Can Mentor, or John's book, Mephibsheth, on Amazon. Lastly, we'd really appreciate it if you gave us a 5 star rating on what ever listening platform you are tuning in on. If you'd like to connect with us further, please contact us through our website because we're always looking for new guests or connections. Thank you. And remember, you can mentor.