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This is the Executive Connect Podcast - a show for the new generation of leaders. Join us as we discover unconventional leadership strategies not traditionally associated with executive roles. Our guests include upper-level C-Suite executives charting new ways to grow their organizations, successful entrepreneurs changing the way the world does business, and experts and thought leaders from fields outside of Corporate America that can bring new insights into leadership, prosperity, and personal growth - all while connecting on a human level. No one has all the answers - but by building a community of open-minded and engaged leaders we hope to give you the tools you need to help you find your own path to success.
Melissa Aarskaug (00:01.706)
Welcome to the Executive Connect podcast. Today I'm excited to have Kathleen Riley with us here today to talk about neuroplasticity. Welcome Kathleen.
Kathleen Reily (00:14.53)
thank you so much, Melissa. I appreciate it. I really, really thank you so much for having me.
Melissa Aarskaug (00:21.228)
Absolutely, I want to just get started with hearing a little bit about your work in neuroplasticity and really how you got involved in the field.
Kathleen Reily (00:32.123)
absolutely. Okay. Beautiful. All right. Let's rewind without taking too much time. We'll do an extract. Neuroplasticity really is simply refers to a human being's ability to use their intention, their conscious mind.
to build new neural pathways in the brain, which naturally subsequently become wired into the body. so what I mean by that is our habits can always be reshaped, reformed, you know, and we are...
Truly in this present moment where we as we sit here speaking and your listeners are present We are in this moment a culmination of habits Whether it's thinking habits whether it's feeling habits which then turn into doing habits and speaking habits and and so neuroplasticity just means that your brain and your body because the mind
and the body are not separate. They're one, the brain and body has a capacity to change what it is thinking and what it is feeling, but that's all predicated on your frontal lobe, your conscious mind, the executive, you know, if you will, of the whole...
body and brain to say, you know, I don't want to feed patterns of fear or stress or worry or, you know, I don't want to be a reactive person anymore, right? I want to be that person who innately capitalizes on the pause that is between the stimulus and the response, right?
Kathleen Reily (02:45.493)
And so I'm going to set this intention and I'm going to get really clear about how I want to feel and the thoughts I want to think instead of, you know, the old pattern. And I'm going to intend to do that. And I'm going to catch myself when I'm going back. And you can think of, you can think of, you know,
pathway in the woods, a ski trail, is you know where where where the more you use it the more carved out it becomes right. The more clear and carved out it becomes the more the body memorizes it it becomes an unconscious habit. So so in terms of how I came into this work with men
I founded my presense method almost about eight years ago, between seven and eight years ago. Time flies, time flies. And this is a method I developed to rewire the habit of stress, the cycle in the nervous system. so moving from the habit of stress to the habit of peace, calm.
Melissa Aarskaug (03:49.014)
Time flies, time flies.
Kathleen Reily (04:09.369)
centered and that was just part of my story. I had you know chronic anxiety, panic and I didn't want the kind of pharmaceutical band -aid. I wanted to go deep into the root and
Very quickly only about six to eight weeks of daily meditation daily rewiring through changing my emotions I was able to completely rewire the habit and so then you know I started studying and growing and learning and and Built my company and built this method
Melissa Aarskaug (04:59.444)
I love that. think you said two really important pieces there. One is starting in the world we live in today, we're reacting all day, every day to what's hitting us. And there's constant things that are hitting us. So really what you were saying is taking the reins of being reactionary to really focusing on really what you're focusing on. And I think, you you make a really great point is a lot of people are really anxious in the world today.
and it's because that's who they are or it's because they're reacting to what's happening at them. talk us through a little bit about how you pivoted from being anxious to really centered and grounded, really rewiring your brain and making it focus a certain way. Can you talk a little bit about that?
Kathleen Reily (05:52.851)
Yes, yes, absolutely. One preface in that response, you mentioned something interesting that stress...
Kathleen Reily (06:07.405)
I can never say that chronic stress is a personality trait unless it becomes cultivated over time. It's the process of building a personality is, you know, it starts with a mood. Like you said, maybe you react to something and then you stay in that stress state. If you don't.
If you don't reroute into a new experience emotionally, mentally, then that becomes a temperament. A mood is just a few hours. A temperament is a few weeks. And then if still unchecked, the temperament becomes a personality. And the personality is several months, several years, right? So it can be rewired. It can be changed. And the process is really, as I tell everyone,
It's so simple, but not easy. It's so simple, but not easy. And so the language of the body, which is where the nervous system lives, which is where the habit of stress lives, is emotion, it's feeling, and the language of the brain is thinking.
So when you are changing a habit that is so deeply learned by the body, you have to speak the language of the body, which is feeling, emotion, sensing. And when it's a beautiful spring day and you feel a breeze, you sense it, you feel it, right? And that's the body feeling and sensing experiences.
And so when you're changing these patterns, you first want to move the body and brain into a very relaxed brainwave state called theta state. It's not quite sleep, but it's not quite awake.
Kathleen Reily (08:16.971)
So when the body is so relaxed in that theta state where you kind of lose sense of time and place and you're just so relaxed, you're kind of floating, the body is very, very, very receptive to new programs, new rewiring, right?
So we do that first and this whole process takes about eight weeks. But in the actual meditations that you're doing on a daily basis, you're first moving into a very relaxed state. Then you're actually doing particular exercises where you're evening the heart rate variability.
So what I mean by this is the heart is actually informing and sending a lot more information to the brain than the brain is to the heart. So in meditation, when we relax the heart, and we know that with stress a lot of tension builds in the chest. So when we relax the heart, we're able to actually balance the nervous system.
So there's that piece. And then from there, it's really just about changing the emotional state. So then you are exposing your nervous system through the power of your of your intention to feel calm, to feel safe, to feel that unconditional love, right?
to feel peace. And you do this enough times over the course of eight weeks and the second month is a little bit different from the first month, but you are effectively following the same process that you unconsciously followed when setting up the stress patterns. But now you're intentionally setting up those patterns for peace.
Melissa Aarskaug (10:37.292)
So let's take, I'm curious, so let's take a couple of emotions like fear or anger or maybe I don't even know if depression would be one, just a sad person. How do you rewire, say something like anger or anxiety and really what does it mean to rewire an emotion and can you explain how one would do that if they were anxious or angry or sad?
and kind of what the steps are for that.
Kathleen Reily (11:11.489)
Step one is recalibrate and relax the nervous system. Relax the body. You do this through breath, extending the exhale twice as long as the inhale. You do this through becoming aware and sensing the space around your body and in your body. So you have to relax first. You've got to find that silence, that calm.
And then from there, it's really as simple as becoming aware of what it feels like to feel at peace, to feel safe, right? And you can use, can leverage old memories where you felt at peace or you felt safe. Sometimes that can be challenging for people though.
And so then at that point, you can simply relax the body so much where you begin to experience that feeling of calm again. And then all you need is that core feeling. It's a vibration. It's a frequency in the body, that feeling of calm, you know, and
It's literally as simple as putting your attention on a different emotional state and more and more and more because where you place your attention is where you place your energy and your energy is what brings life to new experiences.
Melissa Aarskaug (12:55.54)
yeah, absolutely. I would really agree with that. I think it's the programming we believe or that somebody has said to us as well, or you're not smart enough or ambitious enough or athletic enough or whatever the comments were made to us or things we might believe about ourselves like, I can't do this or I can't do that. And so I wanna talk a little bit about those
things and how we can become aware of what program we actually have. Because sometimes we're not really aware that we have, you know, maybe different limiting beliefs and we're kind of running and replaying in our brain and really holding us back from what we want in our life. So I want to talk a little bit about becoming aware of what we have programmed into our mind and how can we change them to really live our best lives.
Kathleen Reily (13:54.189)
Again, it's so simple, but not easy. So it's really as simple as setting aside, you know, five, 10 minutes in the morning or the evening to reflect and write down, take a pen and paper, write down, what do I not like? What is not giving me energy? What do I want to remove from my life?
Maybe it's a habit, maybe it's a job, maybe it's a relationship, maybe it's where you're living. What do I not like? Because the thing is, your outer life, and I'm sure you've heard this a million times, your physical outer environment is a direct replica of what is happening inside of you. The patterns, the thoughts, the emotions, the belief systems.
And so naturally in order to change, you have to change from the inside out. You can't change from the outside in. That's why accumulating lots of materials doesn't change anything long -term, So when you want to figure out, okay, what patterns do I have within me? What belief systems do I have within me pertaining to any category of relationships?
work, family, all you have to do is look at your outer environment, choose one thing you don't like, and then go within and say, okay, what are my thoughts and what are my emotions?
that are driving this thing. So it could be, don't like how argumentative my family members are with one another. Okay, so that is something in your outer environment that you are literally creating through your own thoughts and emotions. And this gets into, you know, really...
Kathleen Reily (16:04.669)
Some would say, mean, it's a really extreme form of accountability and agency, but okay, that's what you want to change. So then you go within, okay, what thoughts and emotions am I having around this situation? And how do I want to flip that in the positive view?
And so you can start with that. What do I not want? What do I want? Let me change. If I want peace in my family, I have to become peace and the rest follows. And I see it all the time, all the time.
Melissa Aarskaug (16:43.04)
Yeah, I love that. I would agree. think you first got to get to where you want to be, right? Like you were saying, peace. I want to talk about neuroplasticity and the intersection of epigenetics, all these words that are hard to use together. Can you talk a little bit about what is the role of epigenetics in the work of neuroplasticity?
Kathleen Reily (17:13.293)
This is really fascinating. So I love this. love it. You're just asking me all my favorite questions. yeah, indeed. So we know that what we once believed, what scientists once believed was junk DNA, which is more than 80 % of the DNA in our body.
It is actually dormant epigenetics. It's our genes that can be expressed based on the environment they're living in. So our genetics, the environment that our genes live in is the inner environment.
of ourselves, right? I am creating within me through my thoughts and through my emotions, I'm creating an environment that is either hospitable to health or, you know, the inverse hospitable to disease. And so
Kathleen Reily (18:15.027)
When we're looking at neuroplasticity and epigenetics, neuroplasticity is just a fancy word for you have the power to change your inner environment through your intention.
And health coincides with more positive, jubilant, happy, peaceful environments within, right? And disease correlates with a lot of fear, a lot of anxiety, a lot of stress, a lot of chaos, right? Within, in the emotional state.
So simply changing your emotions and taking time every day to do this, just like you would strengthen a muscle, the muscle of peace or the muscle of compassion or the muscle of gratitude, you strengthen them through your attention. Because as we said, right, you know, where your attention goes, your energy flows. And so.
So simply by doing that, you're activating your innate neuroplasticity to then change the environment in which your epigenetics can become expressed in a positive or not so positive way.
Melissa Aarskaug (19:40.256)
Now how about can we change the outcome of future generations and their behavior behaviors through neuroplasticity and epigenetics?
Kathleen Reily (19:50.685)
One million, yes, yes, one million percent because your genes get passed on to your children. So you hear over and over again, you know, a lot of people will, you know, they'll come from generations of certain types of addictions or certain types of disease.
but those genes cannot express themselves if you change or are a lot less likely, I would say, if you change your lifestyle, you change yourself holistically. And part of that is managing your emotional mental state, right? And that's, you know, which I believe
also includes spiritual life, you know. And so, so yes, absolutely. If you are turning on as a mother or a father to be, if you are turning on genes that are healthy, that are conducive to longevity, and you are absolutely passing on that DNA to your children.
And so, yeah, and what's fascinating is when you look at the development of the fetus within a mother who is highly stressed, you actually see the formation of the fetus to look more like a...
would you say a street fighter to look more like an individual who is adaptive to fight or flight situations. So you see more blood flow to the hindbrain, you see stronger extremities and less blood flow to the forebrain and less blood flow to more interior areas as well. So really
Kathleen Reily (21:53.075)
how you think and how you feel and your emotional patterns are going to express themselves in your genes and thus your offspring.
Melissa Aarskaug (22:03.242)
I love it. That's so fascinating. So when we talk about, you know, the professional world and neuroplasticity and leadership, I want to talk a little bit about how executives can leverage it to enhance their actual leadership skills, even if they're not a good leader. Maybe they're a very introverted person naturally. They're quiet. They're shy. They're follower, not a leader. Let's talk a little bit about how one could become more of
whatever it is they want if they're not currently that person.
Kathleen Reily (22:38.667)
That's an excellent question. actually, that's easy. That's easy because, well, it's simple, because human beings are sensing organisms. We feel, we sense. Whether we like it or not, human beings have emotions.
And we sense one another through energetically because everything is energy. We're both, you and I are both made up of energy and we have a certain field of energy that we put out. And when people come into our space or people interact with us, they'll respond based on the state of wellbeing that we exude. So.
whether you're introvert, whether you're extrovert, as a leader, people were, and I see this, I see this all the time in my work, because I work with a lot of leaders, right? I work with a lot of men who are in, you know, leadership positions, whether it's political, whether it's corporate, what have you, but...
They are constantly doors open to them all the time through relationships, through people, because people want to be around them, because they sit down every day, they go within in their meditation work, and they cultivate the frequency of kindness. They cultivate the frequency of peace.
of love, of gratitude, of joy, and this is infectious and people want to be around that. Not only do people want to be around him, but he is also, he's far more likely to...
Kathleen Reily (24:39.617)
have people get things done on his behalf. So as a leader, it's such a win -win to cultivate what you might call those heart -centered qualities.
Melissa Aarskaug (24:55.052)
Yeah, I would absolutely agree. I think people are more willing to follow and work for leaders that are empathetic and happy and joyful and all those words, all the positive words you mentioned. So I absolutely think that's a great point is really cultivating that versus demanding, non -transparent, angry, all the reverse side of that. think it's exactly the reverse, right?
Kathleen Reily (25:19.039)
Yes. Yeah, you're good.
Melissa Aarskaug (25:25.3)
I wanna talk a little, you keyed into it a little bit at the beginning. know, the world is a real stressful, anxious place right now. I think companies are demanding more. We're always, our brain is constantly hit with cognitive overload. And so I love what you said, really centering yourself and getting yourself focused on meditation. I absolutely agree with that.
I wanna walk through again, just really focusing in on the anxiety and stress management. think I see a lot more people getting sick. And I believe that a lot of it is based out of stress and anxiety and not being able to manage that to where it gets to be debilitating. So can you walk us through, how to manage stress and anxiety and meditation and really
scheduling it because a lot of times I think people have the intention to sit down. I'm going to meditate. have, you know, 10 minutes to meditate and they sit down to meditate and they're, I can't forget to do that. And I can't forget to do that. no, I need to do this. And so they're, not really focused in on what you're mentioning is really clearing their mind and focusing on the positive and really rewiring our brain. So I want to, you know, I guess that was a long winded question. So really talk about,
incorporating meditation into a practice that can help decrease anxiety and stress in people.
Kathleen Reily (27:00.363)
Yeah, yeah, excellent. I would say that we live, as you said, we live, many of us in modern environments where we have to intentionally make space and set aside time. There was once upon a time, this was just naturally built into our lives because we weren't so bombarded.
with information and so So it's about putting breaks putting pauses creating windows of time throughout your day and not having every sink the moment every Every minute every hour is accounted for you're already in stress
So, so sitting down for meditation, I mentioned earlier the importance of changing your brain waves. So when we are in a state of, you know, elevated stress on a constant basis, we're stuck in what's called high beta brain wave state.
And so there are powerful meditative strategies that you can use to move your brain and body into theta. When you move into that theta state, you don't have to try so hard to reroute your thoughts, to settle yourself down, to do all of this or, you know,
choose your thoughts or silence your thoughts. So in meditation, first of all, do this first thing in the morning within, you know, like 20 minutes of waking. The reason I say that is because your brain is already between waking and dream. So your nervous system is already highly receptive as a result of doing it right after waking. Do it before that crazy wheel gets going, right?
Kathleen Reily (29:13.645)
and start with, start with, you know, if 10 minutes feels like a lot, start with five minutes and you can, you can, you can find, I have a lot of exercises on my YouTube and, and, you can find practices that allow you to move yourself into that theta state and then also to relax the heart.
So get the body relaxed and then go into focusing on the present moment because the brain is going to follow the body. If the body's not relaxed, your brain is not going to be quiet.
Melissa Aarskaug (29:54.604)
Yeah, I love what you said, practicing in the morning. I was one of those people previously who scheduled at midday, like when I was in the thick of the day and running through my day from meeting to meeting. And I had it on my calendar, Kathleen, probably for six months. And I would, with good intention, at lunchtime, I was gonna sit down for 10 minutes and clear my schedule. I'm like, it's 10 minutes, right? And I wasn't doing it, right? I wasn't really doing it or I'd start it.
I'd stop it 60 seconds later. And so I think exactly what you just said by doing it in the morning and figuring out something, if it's a spot in your house, I do it during my yoga practice in the morning. So I get to where I need to be early and I do it then and it's worked for me to really calm myself. There's no phones ringing, there's no kids. So I think exactly what you said when you wake, figure out is it a room in your house? Is it a location you go to?
and make it robotic so every time you're setting yourself up for success and try like you said, five minutes. I know when I started, I could get like 60 seconds in and I was off to something else. And, you know, unfortunately I had to start with one minute and then build the two minutes and three and five and 10. And your muscle just gets so much stronger, right? If we just practice it.
Kathleen Reily (31:19.935)
Yeah, yeah, and you will see effects very quickly in your waking life. You just won't respond. You just won't be so reactive. Bit by bit, you won't be so reactive. Suddenly you're feeling more loving and understanding as you relate to people in your personal life and at work. It's just, yeah, yeah.
Melissa Aarskaug (31:45.132)
I think you're all around calm, right? think if you're, you know, that whole analogy, a body in motion stays in motion. If you're anxious, always, you're gonna continue to be anxious. And it's just gonna be kind of that cycle. If you're setting yourself up for calmness, peace, you're not really, you're moving through your day in a, you know, kind of...
what's the right word, casual, carefree kind of way. And if somebody cuts you off on the road, you're not reacting. You're just saying, okay, I hope you have a nice day. I'm gonna go on with my day. It's not affecting your day, right? And I've used this analogy before where you wake up in the morning, you stub your toe, you spill coffee, you're late to work, a car cuts you off. It's just...
kind of a downward spiral, right? It's just one thing and the next thing and the next thing and the next thing, right? And I think if you can grab control at the beginning of your day, you can attack your day in a different way and you will have more energy too, right Kathleen? I think if you're stressed and anxious and all those words, you expend a lot more energy.
emotionally than if you're just chill and calm and moving through your day. Would you agree?
Kathleen Reily (33:10.867)
Yes, yes, in fact, I
I have my clients do, I have had, use new tools now. There's a very effective tool called the button practice that I have my clients use. And you use it, it only takes 60 seconds at the most. You use it right after that first thing when you stubbed your toe, right? You don't want to use it later. Use it after that first thing because the amygdala has roughly enough.
90 second window to be distracted and silenced, right? And that's the part of the brain that sounds the alarm. And then you get the whole, you know, onslaught of stress hormones. So close your eyes, take a deep breath, imagine a color and you can imagine a button in the palm of your hand.
And then you imagine the color in your mind's eye that distracts the amygdala. And then you press into your palm with your right index finger, left index finger. You take a deep breath. You slowly breathe out. You're pressing in on that colored button.
Then you go into the other two buttons, know, blue, blue, I see blue, have a button, press it, breathe deeply, slowly relax. And then the third color. And you know what that is, is it's allowing you to pause. Right. And then you can go, okay, I know I've paused. So I think I'm going to have peace in this moment.
Kathleen Reily (34:49.707)
And then boom, you just avoided that whole ridiculous snowballing effect.
Melissa Aarskaug (34:56.788)
Yeah, and I think your overall wellbeing increases, your overall way you attack the day, your energy levels, being available for the ones you love and being available for your employees. And I think you're spot on just to let the guy cut you off or put on another shirt when you spill coffee and just kind of move through your day and not just give it so much attention and energy.
that it kind of paralyzes you, right? I think it sets the tone for the rest of your day. And I think I love the button idea. That's a great, great way to really let things go that, or accidents are things we really can't control, right?
Kathleen Reily (35:43.605)
Yeah, it's definitely very important to create that pause. And like we said, throughout the call, what you put your attention on grows. So take your attention off the coffee that spilled on your shirt and put it onto this fun little practice that happens to work really well.
Melissa Aarskaug (36:08.94)
And I love it, I love, think, you know, back to the meditation and kind of rewiring our brain, I think it plays a really important role in achieving our goals too, right? So setting out, you know, you can't have 700 goals to hit at a time, right? Really focusing on what's most important, you know, meditating on it, seeing the emotion that you feel when you think about it, whatever the goals are for you, it can really help.
drive your goals and drive you to wherever you wish to go.
Kathleen Reily (36:47.049)
If your inner state is chaotic and stressed, you're going to be confused. You're going to feel paralyzed. You're going to feel stuck. You're not going to have clarity.
And so every time, every time, you know, I tell clients you have to begin by building peace, by rewiring the nervous system, getting back to that calm, because then you can make real decisions, then you can make real goals, then you can make real milestones. You know, otherwise it's just confusion and chaos and that's all a byproduct of
too much stress hormones circulating in the body and brain.
Melissa Aarskaug (37:37.344)
Yeah, I absolutely agree. Kathleen, we have covered so much today and there are so many nuggets of wisdom and tips that you've left our listeners with. Anything that we may have missed or anything that you'd like to share with our listeners.
Kathleen Reily (37:54.173)
Yes, yes. So you can, you can find very easy bite -sized practices on, my YouTube channel and free courses on our app, on the app store as well. And in terms of, are you asking that big question that podcast hosts always ask a piece of a piece of a nugget of wisdom to leave?
Melissa Aarskaug (38:20.074)
Yeah, anything that we haven't talked about, anything that we may have missed.
Kathleen Reily (38:26.261)
I just...
Melissa Aarskaug (38:27.712)
I mean, you covered a lot, Kathleen. We covered a lot of great things.
Kathleen Reily (38:32.618)
Just, just, you know, leaving you with as, as I work with men, as I know men in this, you know, journey of inner self development, when you feel you live, your emotions are going to define the quality of your life.
Melissa Aarskaug (38:54.796)
That's a great takeaway, I would absolutely agree. Thank you so much for being here today, Kathleen, and sharing your time. I know you're a busy woman. That is the Executive Connect podcast. Thank you so much for being here today, Kathleen.
Kathleen Reily (39:11.831)
Thank you, thank you, be well.