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The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. Hi, Peaches.
Hi.
What's up, dude?
I was prepared to call out today, because I was really worried that I was gonna have to stay out extremely late last night.
Oh, no. What were you up to?
My, my friend's fiance, it was her 21st birthday yesterday.
Woo.
So we went to Stockman's for dinner-
Okay
... which I got tempted with the rolls, the cheese curds-
[laughs]
... the nachos.
Did you see those cupcakes in the break room?
I didn't touch them.
[laughs]
I, I'm not touching those. Yesterday I had some sweet potato fries with my Mediterranean chicken.
Whoa.
They had cinnamon and sugar on them. I nearly made myself throw up.
[laughs] Yeah, just too sweet? [laughs]
No, they, they, they, they, they were awesome. They were awesome. I ate the, I ate all of them.
Oh, you just ate too much.
But I, I felt so guilty afterwards. I was like-
[laughs]
... "This is why I'm so fat." I started going through my pictures. I went-
Oh, geez
... I went, I went, I went through a, I went through a wa- I went for a walk around my neighborhood and was just like, "Okay, I gotta aggressively do this, so that way I can burn those extra calories and get the sweet potato fries-
[laughs]
... out of my system."
That's why you were up so late? [gentle music]
Well, no, the thing is is that, uh, luckily enough there was another couple that showed up, and the boyfriend, um, took over the DD duty.
Oh, cool. Nice.
Um, because usually whenever somebody wants to hang out with me they want, they wanna use me for something.
Yeah.
Like, "Hey, Peaches, can you help me move the, my refrigerator?"
[laughs] Or, "Hey, can you reach that up there?"
Yeah.
[laughs]
"Okay, thanks. That's all we needed you for. Bye."
[laughs] "Will you drive me home? I'm hammered."
Yeah. So I had to deal with, uh-
[laughs]
... two drunk girls and, uh, her fiance, my friend Bryson. Uh, they were, they were about to put her in the front seat. Now, I'm trying not to be seen. You know, I, we talked [laughs] about it yesterday.
Yeah, you are being a little bit strange about this being seen in public thing.
I'm, yeah, 'cause I don't wanna be going out. I, I just wanna be, like, in my own little isolated bubble for the time being, you know? And so I'm like, "I don't wanna be spotted with a girl in my front seat." You know, what if, like, some listener sees me?
[laughs] So what?
That's, that's not my, she's not mine. [laughs]
[laughs]
She's not mine.
[laughs] Who cares if they think that? [laughs]
I don't want them to. [laughs]
[laughs] Oh, you don't like this particular girl, huh?
Uh, when, when you're, when you, when you pa- partake in a certain activity you get kinda loud, right?
Oh, when you're, when you're boozing you're annoying.
So I'm trying to play this music-
[laughs]
... in my car, and she's back there, "Ugh," like a, like, like a walrus.
[laughs]
I'm like, "What are you doing?"
[laughs]
It literally sounded like that, just, "Ugh." [laughs]
[laughs]
Almost like she was trying to gargle water with nothing in her mouth, just, "Ugh."
Now, and, and so it was her birthday?
Yeah.
Okay.
And she was a, she's a lightweight.
Well, she's just turning 21, Peaches.
But she had one lemon drop shot. She goes, "I'm ready to go."
[laughs]
[laughs]
Well, I'm glad you were there to at least, you know, get her where she needed to be before switching DD duties.
Yeah, we went to Chili's. And so, um-
Boy, you guys know how to get out on the town.
[laughs]
We're just gonna go to a bunch of restaurants.
Well, that's what they, that's what they decided, 'cause every place is closed on a Monday apparently. Like Tap & Fill, closed. Um, there was a few other options that we had that they're just closed on a Monday-
Huh
... for whatever reason.
Weird.
But, but, uh, we, we sit down. It's me, my friend Bryson, his fiance, and then her best friend. Um, the couple that took over for the DD duty had not shown up yet. They were supposed to show up at 7:30.
Mm-hmm.
They ended up showing up late. But we're sitting there at the booth,
and she's like, "I don't know what to order."
[laughs]
"I don't know what I want."
[laughs]
And so Bryson's like, "Oh, g- g- go use the restroom like, like you said you needed to, and we'll just h- get waters and chips and salsa."
Hmm. Okay.
So the, the, the two girls leave, right? We're at this extended booth, and the, the waitress decides then as the girls leave to get, put two giant things of chips and salsa in front of me and Bryson.
[laughs]
And me and Bryson are sitting right next to each other, very close-
[laughs]
... on one side of this, like, particular big booth. Like, there's so much room on his side to scoot over.
Buddy-
I, I really, I really hope listeners don't walk in and just see me and this dude sitting this close to each other in this booth with two massive piles [laughs] of chips and salsa in front of us. [laughs] I'm like, "I don't wanna be seen." [laughs]
Yeah, I was gonna say, which is worse, Peaches being seen with a hammered girl in the passenger seat-
Hammered girl in the passenger seat-
[laughs]
... 100%.
That's worse? Okay. [laughs]
I don't, I don't want, I don't want anybody in my car. I just wanna be by myself.
[upbeat music] It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm Victor.
I'm Peaches.
And do we have any old music?
We're going back to Jade Davis's birth year.
Let's see. In Back to the Future, they went to what? 1955? I think that's where they went. 1955. Traveled back in time so Marty can save his parents. Yeah. Um, do you think this woman likes Back to the Future, or is that too modern for her to, you know, participate in?
I, I was gonna ask, do you think she only watches specifically m- uh, media from 1958?
Ugh.
She's just watching reruns of I Love Lucy?
Yeah, on a black and white TV, one of those-
Oh
... old, real heavy ones.
You'll see the TV.
Oh, geez.
So we're talking about this, uh, this one lady who I, uh, she popped up on my, uh, YouTube feed. [upbeat music]
I like to talk around-
You just barreled over the top of me with this video.
[laughs] I know. [laughs]
She, this popped up on my YouTube feed that says, uh, "I live every day like it's 1958."
Yes.
And this particular woman caught my attention because she dresses like a local person that b- both me and Victor know.
[laughs] She does kinda have that look.
She has that tutti frutti, like, t- umbrella with the dumb hat and the brightly colored dress. And i- if you were to see this woman you're like, "Oh, okay, you're just doing this for attention."
Yeah.
And what's funny is that in the very beginning of the video, which you're about to play, she says, "Everybody who sees me always s- like, says something positive about it."
[laughs]
It's like, well, nobody's gonna come up to you and be like, "T- wear something normal, you weirdo."
[laughs] I do like the look of their house. Uh, very bright colors.
And that was another reason why I wanted to send you this video-
[laughs]
... because, uh, you, you already made fun of me for the millennial gray, which I don't have. I have old pillow yellow in my apartment.
But actually her dining room is old pillow yellow. It's pretty gross, and then her kitchen is, like, teal. The combo kinda works, but that, that gross yellow, like the back rooms like we talk about with your apartment.
Does she ever go to a, a restaurant or does she go to, like, specifically, like, Dixie's Diner?
[clears throat]
'Cause it's 1950s themed.
That's a great question. Does she only eat food [laughs] that's been in storage since the 1950s?
And she has a kid, so did she allow her kid, at 12, to smoke cigarettes?
[laughs] Dude, that, that would be the worst mom to have if, if your mom was stuck in 1958 and your-
Oh, this kid's like, "Oh, I love it," but you see, like, the pain in his face.
Well, yeah. Does he have a PS5? I bet he don't.
No, I bet he has, uh, Tinker Toys-
Yeah
... and, uh, Lincoln Logs.
Lincoln Log. Mm-hmm.
[laughs]
Yeah. Kid ain't even got Pong.
I got Jacob's Ladder. You guys wanna play with this?
[laughs] He's got those metal darts-
[laughs]
... that they used to sell that you'd throw up in the air. [laughs]
[laughs]
That would come down and stick in people's heads.
[laughs] All the old dangerous toys, the uranium kit.
They, they ask him to come play basketball and he wears the short shorts.
[laughs]
And he's dribbling the ball like they did back in the '50s. You ever seen a 1950s basketball game?
Oh.
It's quite, it's quite horrible to watch.
All right, I gotta see some of this video. This is Lacey Fay.
I live every day like it's 1958. [upbeat music]
Okay.
People say-
And sh- her-- now, who do you think started this, her? I'm guessing that's her husband who w-
Y- she did.
It was her?
She, she started this 'cause in the video she says, "Oh, I, I fell in love with how my, uh, grandma and grandpa used to live back when they got married in 1955."
She have one of those couches that looks like, uh-
Go play the video
... [laughs] you know, it's got a forest scene on it or something-
Oh, geez
... or a, a farm. [laughs]
Reaction is almost always positive. This is who I am. This is-
I mean, it is a cool car. I'll give them that. I, I-
Yeah, cars from back then were actually really cool.
Yeah.
And what she talks about with the appliances also lasting forever-
Yeah
... 100% true.
Sure.
But the fact that you wanna walk outside in this foofy dress.
[laughs] Ch- her-
And, and you make your husband wear a fedora, and he looks like he's a part of a barbershop quartet.
I am expecting him to bust out in song at any moment.
Uh, he's not going to.
He's not gonna? [laughs]
No, I, I, I feel like he's the, he's definitely the happy wife, happy life kinda guy.
Does she ever drive the car?
Maybe not.
I don't know. He's driving right now in the video, so if they're living 1950s style, he might be a real overbearing husband. Like, you're not allowed to drive. You need, "Where's my dinner?"
They sleep in separate beds.
[laughs]
Like I Love Lucy.
Yes. [laughs]
They, they have twin beds. [laughs]
What I like and I feel like you should do what you like. You should do what makes you feel beautiful, and dress however you wanna dress that makes you feel the most like you.
People will stop dead in their tracks and th- Okay. I think her husband might be even cringier than her once he started talking.
People stop dead in their tracks.
[laughs] I'm expecting him to bust out like a, a jazz trumpet or something. [laughs] This guy.
And I say to myself-
[laughs]
... what a wonderful life.
[laughs] They'll just stop, and their, their eyes are fixed on her as, as we'll walk by.
They interviewed him right before-
Yeah, they're staring.
They interviewed him right before his 3:00 PM cigarette.
[laughs] Oh, this, this couple, man.
Any place in town that kind of brings in the 1950s vibe quite well is the local pharmacy. It's called Bullock Drug, and they have a soda fountain. They have a jukebox. It makes it a lot of fun.
[laughs]
We go hang out at the local, the local pharmacy for fun. [laughs] They have a soda fountain.
All the old people that are picking up their prescriptions-
[laughs]
... see this couple. "You remind me of my older days."
[laughs]
"Back when my wife was alive."
Oh, geez. [laughs] Sound good, Cindy?
Let's do it.
Okay, having some ice cream
down at the pharmacy.
Rainbow sherbet. Oh!
She's eating with a plastic spoon.
[gasps]
When were plastic spoons invented? I'm gonna look this up real quick here
'cause I don't think you should be eating with a plastic spoon if they weren't around at the time. Ugh, and it's hard to type with busted up-
1940s.
Ah, dang it! I thought I had her.
As soon as I put on-
She's got-
... the first 19-
Well, they did, they did not reach widespread use until the 1950s when mass production, uh, took off due to the post-World War II suburban boom. Now, I- [laughs]
Okay, so-
Is there, are they supposed to act like they grew up back then? Because maybe the husband can pretend he has PTSD from World War II. [laughs]
[laughs] Oh, geez, Peaches.
He wakes up just violently shaking.
[laughs]
But he's faking it, though. That's the worst part.
That would be really messed up if they actually were that way. They're digging a big bomb shelter out in their backyard.
How bad of stolen valor is that to where you pretend that you're not only, that you, you didn't even serve, but also, like, you pretend you were in World War II, and you have ChatGPT [laughs] put a, put your picture on a World War II soldier. [laughs]
Oh, dude.
And you're in the trenches. [laughs]
[laughs] I, I certainly hope this couple has not gone that far.
They somehow use AI to, for, like, everything. They're, they're at the, like, they, they're in the background of, like, prominent speeches from back then. [laughs]
[laughs] Like Forrest Gump, basically?
Yeah. [laughs] Exactly.
When they made that movie. Oh.
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. Oh, Peaches and I were still chatting about, uh, what was her name again? Uh-
Lacey Fay.
Lacey Fay, the woman who lives every day like it's 1958.
Mm.
Did you see the house?
Um-
Like, the inside of her living room?
Not yet. Right now she's showing off her, um, her makeup.
Oh.
She's got old makeup.
'50s dress with my hair and makeup done, that's when I felt like I was finally me.
She ha-
I found my authentic self and I know it's back to stay.
Okay, well, you, you know when you do mascara how they've got the brush that goes in the little tube?
I wouldn't know, Victor. I'm not a woman, okay?
Okay. Well, anyway-
Well, you, you're the only one in here who's dressed up like a woman.
[laughs]
Uh, tell me about it.
Well, she was using what looked like a toothbrush [laughs] to put her mascara on, and I- it was an old-looking item
Okay
I really honed in on the 1950s because of my grandparents. They got married in 1955, and their story-
Okay, we don't care about them
What, what, what if, what if-
It's about the family
... what if they cut to the grandparents, the grandparents are like, "Yeah, we have a weird granddaughter." [laughs]
[laughs] Yeah.
"I don't know why she's glorifying this."
"She's a freak. Just don't listen to her."
The grandparents are like, "I drive a Cybertruck." [laughs]
Yeah, it, it looks like that her house has modern, uh, roofing on it.
[gasps]
I don't approve of that. That, that looks like modern, uh, shingles. Yeah, that, that's pretty messed up.
Does her house need to be filled with asbestos and all that? [laughs]
[laughs] Yes, of course.
[laughs]
Got radon in the basement. [laughs]
[laughs]
1953. So we've tried to pack as much in as we can while keeping it authentic. I don't want it to look like it's a '50s museum. I want it to look like it's an authentic 1950s home that you've walked into.
Ugh, this place-
Do you think she specifically shops at, like, vintage antique stores-
Mm-hmm
... and all the antique shop owners hate her because she comes in and asks for, like, something just straight out of the '50s? It has to be '50s authentic everything.
Oh, for sure, dude.
PSA 10 1950s television.
So she's got this hideous pink couch, she's got a piano, and she's got, yes, the old crappy black and white TV that I would assume... I, I don't even see an antenna. I think the TV's a decoration.
What's Thanksgiving like in that household? Does... Do they invite people over, and they have to go, "Okay, I guess we gotta put on our best four-piece suit-
Yeah
... for Thanksgiving feast."
And you can't have, like, any m- you know, modern amenities or anything-
No
... with your meal.
You gotta have that Butterball turkey.
Do you have to kill the turkey yourself?
Maybe.
I don't know if frozen turkey was a thing.
With a, with a 1950s gun.
Yeah. Uh, uh, you know, was frozen food a big thing in the '50s? I don't know. That was a long time ago. If you remember the '50s, you're old as dirt. Oh, sorry. [laughs] Sorry, listen, I'm just playing.
I did just talk about-
Just playing
... I did just talk about, uh, uh, Deep Purple, 'cause I played their new song yesterday. I'm like, are there any original members left? And I looked at it, and it said the drummer is the only one left-
Wow
... from all of their albums. He's 82 years old.
[laughs] And he's still-
He's still in the-
All right
... he's still drumming. You see his arms are all saggy and everything.
[laughs]
You know, typical old person look. And he was born in 1948-
Wow
... I think. Or 1948? No.
Hmm, that would make him-
1948
... I'm not, I'm not mathing right now. [burps]
Yeah, whatever. But yeah, no, he was born in the '40s, so maybe this would bring him back if he were to go to Lacey Fay's house.
Uh, dude, I, I bet... Is she a content creator?
She would have to be. She's doing it for attention.
You, you would think so.
There's no way she's doing this, uh, just out of fun.
No. Let's, let's look it up. Lacey Fay. She's gotta have, you know, like, a tradwife, uh, you know, Instagram or some- oh, yeah, she's all over the place.
See?
For sure.
She's faking it. What a poser.
Uh, she wears the, the '50s-style swimsuit too. That's what pops up if you Google her.
I bet her husband loves that. That one piece.
Yeah, it's a one piece.
With the, with the, with the, with the swim cap.
[laughs]
She's doing water aerobics.
[upbeat music] All right, Peaches, did you watch this whole video?
Yeah.
Okay. We've... I mean, it's only three minutes and 20 seconds, but it feels like an eternity watching this video.
Because we keep stopping it and making fun of the lady.
[laughs] Let's see what else is in this video. [upbeat music] I like her clocks.
When people walk through our house for the first time, a smile comes on everybody's face.
They go, "Oh, wow, that's cool."
[vacuum whirring]
Is everybody who comes in their house on, you know, some type of a substance? [laughs] And that's why they're like-
Oh
... "Whoa, look what you do."
Yeah, they live in Portland, Oregon. [laughs]
[laughs]
And so everyone who goes in there is just high off their mind.
[vacuum whirring]
Our 1950s kitchen-
I'm making all the food from scratch
... I tried to do as authentically as I could. And I think the appliances work better. It was built to last forever.
I start making dinner at 2:00 PM.
That you will keep that forever.
[laughs]
I think so. I mean, our fridge has been running for 70 years. [laughs] It's fine. It's not stopped yet.
Oh, I bet that thing just eats electricity. A 70-year-old fridge just eats electricity.
I- imagine the noise it makes.
[laughs] Dude, it's clunking.
"Now, my husband has sleep apnea. We, we don't believe in a CPAP 'cause we're stuck in 1958, so I just blow in his mouth."
[laughs]
Hey, you know, some, sometimes the old ways might be better, Peaches.
We, we don't, we don't-
[laughs]
... we don't, we don't go to a real doctor. We just... If we get a cut, we, we rub some rubbing alcohol on it. I kiss it and make it better.
I've got jars of snake oil-
Yeah. [laughs]
... just fill, filling up my cabinets.
[laughs] Oh.
I'm, I'm not giving, I'm not giving my son the polio vaccine. [laughs]
[laughs]
The only room that's not decorated '50s is my son's room.
Okay. Let-
So we let him choose.
Let's see her poor son
It feels so normal to me now that I wouldn't really think of it as different anymore.
Look at the pain in his eyes.
When we first moved into the house-
Yeah. You can tell.
"I don't really see anything different. I get bullied by the kids, but-"
And he's got that '50s Leave It to Beaver haircut.
[laughs]
Like, he's wearing a normal hoodie, but he's got a '50s haircut.
They show you, like, The Andy Griffith Show. Like, they show you a character off of that. "Can you give my son this cut?"
Like, what if he wanted to grow his hair out into a bowl cut?
We're, we're, we're keeping that-
Would they take all of his vinyl outside and-
We're keeping that for the '60s, okay?
[laughs] Take his vinyl outside and burn it?
Oh, yeah.
[laughs]
What, what are his, uh, forms of entertainment? Do you think he has a gaming PC in his room?
Oh, yeah, dude, for sure. Uh, do they show his room, or do they just show the kid?
No. No, they, they actually don't show any part of his room.
Yeah, 'cause they don't want you to feel bad for him with his lack of any entertainment. You know? "We're gonna go watch Leave It to Beaver. It's fun."
Getting more objects secondhand, I always thought that was kinda weird, but it just got to be so normal, and now it's, like, fun to go to the thrift store and find something that just makes our house perfect.
This kid really likes to try to make his mom happy. You know, he, he's a good kid.
Same with the husband, too.
[laughs] They... She does have a good family to put up with this.
Oh, can you imagine the divorce?
[laughs] "I get the old fridge, all right? It's mine."
"You can have the whole house."
[laughs] The husband just leaves everything. [laughs]
He, he goes to a modern-style home with modern everything, a touchscreen fridge. He's-
[laughs]
... he's all, like, jumping for joy.
The, it- Everything in his home has to be the newest and greatest version of everything-
[laughs]
[laughs] Just to spite her.
But they have a whole argument because he wants to get a dashboard cam, and she's like, "That's not n- that's not from 1958. We can't... But, but, but w- what if, like, somebody, like, tries to commit insurance fraud on us? Like, you know, uh, n- oh, I guess we'll just tell the officer, 'Oh, we'll have to tell the sheriff.' "
[laughs]
"They, they purposely did this."
Do they pay for everything with cash, too?
Oh.
You know, they can't order any of her wacky stuff online. 'Cause I'm sure looking at the food she was whipping up, she's using l- using, like, real old traditional looking ingredients. You gotta special order that crap, right?
What dinners were popular in the '50s?
Probably, like, a Jell-O with hot dogs in it.
Oh, like a... Yeah, what's that, what's that called? Uh, what's that salad called? Ambrosia.
Ugh, yeah, yeah, a lot of that going on.
17 '50s dinners we forgot but were always worth making by Renee Gardner. If, if that's not a 1950s name, I don't know what is. Let's find out here. Pork chops with mustard shallot gravy.
Okay.
Doesn't sound too bad.
It doesn't sound terrible.
Chicken pot pie with tarragon gravy.
What? I don't know what tarragon gravy is.
Pork, pork chops and applesauce with blackberries. It's, everything's pork. Garlic herb pork and potatoes.
[laughs] I hate pigs. I'm from the '50s. It's all I eat.
Spinach lasagna rolls, bangers and mash with Guinness gravy.
Okay. All righty.
[sighs]
We also make our son, uh, obey us with 1950s punishment.
[laughs] Oh, no.
I one time caught him with, with, with our pint of Guinness that we were gonna use for the Guinness gravy. And so my, my husband had to walk, run in there with a belt and just start whipping him.
[laughs]
[laughs] Don't live like the 1950s, people.
Little Richard's Tutti Frutti was playing in the background while I was beating him.
[laughs]
A wop bop, a loo bop, a wop bop. [laughs]
[laughs] The '50s were awful. [upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat music]