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Real conversations about following Jesus when life doesn't slow down — from a pastor who's still figuring it out too.
If we could sit down with ourself the week before we got married, what would we say to them? Not don't do it. We're still pretty happy with that decision. But there's definitely a few things that I think we would say you need to know before you walk down that aisle. Because following Jesus doesn't automatically make you good at being married.
Greg:So here's nine things that we wish someone had told us before we walked down that aisle. Welcome to the God Made Podcast where real discussion moves outside the sermon and into everyday life. My name is Greg, and I'm the pastor of Northview Church in East Tennessee. Each week, I'm joined by my wife, Christie, as we discuss questions that all of us have no matter how long we follow Jesus because we know Sunday doesn't fix everything. Well, as we've talked about marriage and what a healthy biblical marriage look like, we thought we would, we had come up with five things we thought would be good tips and things we wish people had told us before we got married.
Greg:And as we were thinking of the five things, there was actually a couple more. So we got some bonus ones, and we're just gonna work through those today. And, hopefully hopefully, this will help those who are listening whether they're, been married for years. Maybe there's somebody listening who's about to get married. Maybe there's somebody listening who who thought I'm never gonna get married because I'm afraid of how that's gonna work out, and then these tips will hopefully, give a decent framework.
Greg:They're all based in biblical principles. And while we're not gonna share the verses in this, we will, show the verses. The reference is on the the bottom of the screen if you're watching this, and I'll throw them in the description for those who who were just listening so you can go back and look up these verses yourself. But go ahead. Let's start going through these, and I'll let you say what the principles are, and then we'll just talk about them.
Kristi:Alright. First one is, we put our spouse's needs above our own.
Greg:Do we do that?
Kristi:Sometimes. Well,
Greg:I mean, you don't put your needs above mine. No. I'm just kidding. Yeah. That is such a I mean, that really is an important, principle that we need to know.
Greg:Because when we when we put our spouse's needs above our own, it's really just a biblical principle living like Jesus. You know? We never put ourselves first. We always put others first. And the most important to put first is our spouse and our family.
Greg:But I know there's times where I've not done that.
Kristi:Well, I think it's, excuse me, just human nature to not, because if if your mindset's not focused on how God tells us to be, you automatically think of yourself. But you're really good at it, though. You don't give yourself enough credit, because I notice.
Greg:I really don't pay you to say these things. People need to know that. You say nice things about me for some reason, because I don't think I'm very good at that. Maybe I fake it, and I'm make you think I'm putting yourself first, but in my mind, I'm not.
Kristi:Well, I mean, I guess you've grown in it over time. How am I?
Greg:You're really good at it.
Kristi:See, and I don't think I am.
Greg:Well, you are. I mean, you I mean, I think you're like me. You don't always like it. Sometimes.
Kristi:Does that count?
Greg:It still counts.
Kristi:If you don't have the attitude of, oh, I wanna Yeah. Do
Greg:I mean, because you're still being sacrificial in it and saying, okay, I don't wanna do this, but it's something they really need to do and wanna do, so we're gonna do that. It could be like dumb things like where we're eating dinner. But you do that in important things too. So I think you're really good at it and I think it's a really good principle. And I think because we do that, hopefully, do that as much as you say.
Greg:I think that it I don't know. I think it kinda tames down disagreements and arguments that that could pop up when we're always putting ourselves first.
Kristi:Oh, yeah.
Greg:Definitely. Unless it comes to, you know, like, what are we watching on TV tonight or what movie are we gonna see? Things like that, you know.
Kristi:I submit. I come from it. I submit to your leadership.
Greg:But in most things
Kristi:Well, see, I'd rather you
Greg:not to be selfish.
Kristi:I would rather you be watching something you enjoyed than
Greg:Little
Kristi:hiss on the prayer. As you just don't appreciate good good literature.
Greg:I probably should watch the new one, but you know?
Kristi:No. I mean, but I I would rather you be happy doing something than me have to try to enjoy myself doing something I like, and then you not.
Greg:You see, I'm putting my needs or your needs ahead of me by saying, well, I want her to feel like I'm happy, so I'm gonna watch something.
Kristi:But I know.
Greg:No. That's not the way it works. That's not the way it works. But, I mean, there are things like that that, you know, that I'm not great at putting your needs, but those are kinda silly things. On the big things, the big topics, I I hope, that we both do that.
Greg:I think we do. But it's so important because we've seen people who didn't do that, and we've seen what kinda arguments that causes.
Kristi:We've been those people.
Greg:We have been those
Kristi:I mean, we've learned a few things.
Greg:I mean, we're we're thirty years into this rodeo. So but, yeah, we've been there. And we've been the ones who who were like, gotta win the argument. It's my way or or no way, kinda thing.
Kristi:So maybe it's you.
Greg:You have been that way too, dear. But I'm gonna I'm gonna submit to that and say, you need to think that you weren't, but you were.
Kristi:I know. I know.
Greg:Yeah. We've all been that way.
Kristi:It was a joke.
Greg:And and we know marriages right now that are that way, and we see them suffering because of that. I mean, those those can lead to some pretty big disagreements. So it is important to be in that mindset that my spouse's needs are more important than my needs, and that's really just a Christian mindset. Right. The others' needs come first.
Kristi:And there's there's backup. We're not just making this stuff up. No.
Greg:Yeah. I mean, you can throw out the references for those who are just listening, but we're gonna read the whole verse.
Kristi:Philippians two three through four, Ephesians five twenty one, 25, and 28, 29, and first Corinthians ten twenty four. Those are
Greg:the Yeah. So there's some verses for you to go look up and support what we're talking about here. So what what do we got next on on our list?
Kristi:Next is we don't expect our spouse to complete us.
Greg:That's a big one. I think when most couples are dating, we're caught up in that. It's not really love. It's more of just a a feeling of affection and attraction, and we think this is it. This my life is now complete.
Greg:And then they get married, And their life is not complete. Because no matter how great our spouse is, and I've got the best wife on the planet, not just because you're sitting here. I mean, you are the one god
Kristi:For you. From the
Greg:That's what I mean. I mean, I I could have not god could not have put me with someone who fits me better than you do.
Kristi:Gonna make me cry.
Greg:Good. That's the goal here. So but but so many people look to the to their spouse to be the one that completes us, and and no matter how good they are, they're gonna let you down. Mhmm. Because guess what?
Greg:They are still human beings, and scripture tells us every human being is a sinful human being. So we all, even when we go back to that first principle and say we're gonna put the other's needs ahead of ourselves, we don't always do that because we're selfish. We're prideful. And we I mean, I know that we've hurt each other. I know I've hurt you.
Greg:You never hurt me. You're perfect.
Kristi:You shouldn't lie.
Greg:I should not. I mean, it's it's it's I mean, that's a principle. You just gotta go in knowing that no other human being's ever gonna complete you.
Kristi:And the only thing that does complete us is the Lord.
Greg:Yeah. If you don't have a relationship with Christ, you're never gonna be complete no matter how great your spouse is. And I don't think this is one I'm more hidden. If your spouse doesn't have a relationship with Christ, then it's still gonna be hard to feel complete because you all are going two totally opposite directions. So never count on your spouse to to complete you.
Greg:It's only in Christ and both of you need to be in Christ. Because when you're both in Christ and you're both pursuing Christ, if you draw towards Christ and I draw towards Christ, we automatically draw towards each other.
Kristi:Next one is we spend time together. And there was there was two we came up with, but we kinda squished these together. Spend time together, and in that, go on adventures.
Greg:Yeah. I think we've gotta protect time together, especially, that's really hard when when kids are in the picture. Mhmm. Now don't take me wrong. I love doing adventures with the kids too.
Greg:We we enjoy doing vacations and doing all those kind of things with the kids to let them have a good time, but we've also gotta focus on each other. Right. We've mentioned it in prior podcasts, and I talk about it in sermons, and we just talk about it in normal conversations with people. We have to keep dating our spouse. I I don't know what the statistic is.
Greg:I don't know if you do or not, but I know there's a a large percentage of couples who after the kids graduated high school, went off to college, and it's just them in the home, marriages end. Or they're miserable because they went for 18 or I mean, if it's one kid eighteen years, if it's multiple kids, it could be twenty five years or whatever, and they don't know each other because they didn't spend time together. It is so I mean, that's one of my for me, we've talked about the seven love languages. That's one of mine is quality time. So for me, whether it's watching a TV show or going out to eat or going to do some grand adventure, and our grand adventures for most people, aren't so grand because, you know, we're not going skydiving or anything like that.
Kristi:Never.
Greg:Our grand adventure is instead of Sam's, we'll go try out BJ's or some new play. No. I'm just kidding. I mean, is us, but I don't know. I just think that's really important.
Kristi:Oh, I could tell
Greg:We've gotta I mean, we gotta know each other.
Kristi:I remember I mean, we were married for, I think it was seventeen years before we had kids.
Greg:So the good old days. No.
Kristi:We we had a lot of time where it was just us, and I I don't know that I'd recommend everyone to wait seventeen years to have kids, because then you're old parents, but which it works out for us, but that gave us a lot of time to spend just with us. Yeah. Used to, like I don't know. We joke about it now. We would it'd be 09:00 at night, and we're like, hey, let's go see a movie.
Kristi:And Yeah. We would just jump in the car and drive to the theater. And, oh, I don't know what else. Just silly.
Greg:We just jump in and and go make a drive through the Smokies or I mean, it just depended on what was going on, whatever we kinda felt like doing. You know? Like you say, people probably don't need to wait seventeen years to have kids, but it is good to have have some time
Kristi:to get them before. Yeah. Get to know each other and build that part of your family
Greg:Yeah.
Kristi:Well before you jump into it. And it doesn't always happen. Lord might give you a baby.
Greg:Maybe so.
Kristi:Not then, but
Greg:I mean, what I think it really did for us is we're not just husband and wife. We're we're friends. Mhmm. I'm like, this will make you cry. You are my best friend.
Kristi:Oh, well, know. And you were mine.
Greg:Aw, you just said it because I did.
Kristi:No. I I you know I say that
Greg:right Friendship, though, in a marriage. I'm not gonna say the romance disappears. I don't think it's disappeared for It just changes. And, friendship is what makes that even sweeter.
Kristi:Yeah. Okay. Alright. Can we take a break?
Greg:No. Not let the tears Alright.
Kristi:My eyes are fogged up from my tears. We prioritize marriage over our careers, and that was a struggle for us early.
Greg:That was probably the cause of our most most strenuous time in our marriage was careers. And and But it wasn't career. It wasn't and I wasn't at that time, I wasn't chasing a career. And the place I worked, I never envisioned myself being there forever. But I guess in the long run, I kinda was chasing a career because I would get experience, get references, build relationships that would help me down the road.
Greg:That probably was, in a sense, what I was chasing then. I was also chasing overtime because I was young, and and we needed the extra cash. So I remember those early days. You know? I would be at work.
Greg:The place I worked had a in season and an off season. And during the in season when it was really busy, I remember one year I went for two and a half months without a day off. Mhmm. I would go to work at, like, 7AM, get home about midnight or later, and go back the next day at 7AM, and did that for two and a half straight months.
Kristi:And I was working a normal nine to five, Monday through Friday job, so you I mean, even when you took days off, they were not when I was off, because you worked the weekends, and we weren't in church, that was early on. If you never spend time together, how on earth are you gonna have a healthy marriage?
Greg:Yeah. I mean, it wasn't I mean, for us, it was kinda to the extreme. It wasn't just that we didn't spend time together
Kristi:We didn't see
Greg:each to see. Mm-mm. So that was very difficult. But modern day, you know, where we're at now, we're we're kinda blessed to where I mean, I still am working a lot. But what I do as a pastor now, you're doing most of not most of it, but a good portion of it with me.
Greg:We're we're together even when we're doing that. Mhmm. I hope that you and the kids don't look at it and say the church is more important than the family. I never want it to be like that. Right.
Greg:Priority is God, my family, you above the kids, but, you know, my family, and then then the church. Well,
Kristi:way that it is with us, I think it all just meshes together.
Greg:Yeah. There's really not a separation.
Kristi:It's not. And and I think that's good. I mean, people might not be in full time ministry like like you are, but or like we are. But it's like you don't have to divide your life into this is church, this is our real life. It's it's all part of one cohesive unit.
Greg:And and you got to prioritize your spouse and your family. When something's important for the family, you put the career on the back burner. I mean, we we talked. We have a men's group that meets, and one of the things that came up in our discussion last week was it was more being a dad than a husband, but it was like, if your kids got a ballgame, be at the ballgame. Don't go to work.
Greg:I mean, if it's a thing where you can't miss work and you're gonna you'll lose your job or whatever, that's that's one thing. We understand that. If that's the case, there was a great point made in that discussion. If you miss the ballgame, take your kid out to lunch the next day, or go visit them at school and have lunch with them, or do something fun with them.
Kristi:Right. Make them a priority.
Greg:Make them know that they are important, and it has to be the same thing with their Right. So you got some scripture references that kinda help with that?
Kristi:I do. Genesis two twenty four, Ephesians five twenty five through 33, and first Timothy five eight. The next one we have on the list is we prioritize our marriage over our kids.
Greg:Yeah. We kinda touched on that already just a little bit, but there is priorities in our life. God's always first, but when it comes to your family, they need to be number one behind God's. Number two, but your wife or your husband, two a. Your children, two b.
Greg:They are close, but your spouse always has to come first, and that is really hard to do sometimes, especially this will make dads sound bad, but it seems to be more hard, more and more difficult for mamas to do than for daddies to do. Mhmm. And we know a lot of families that that struggle with that. I mean, it seems to be very common to where we see mamas and daddies, but mamas putting their their babies ahead of their their husbands, and it causes a lot of difficulties in the marriage.
Kristi:And it's not like we never do that.
Greg:No. But it's not a regular thing.
Kristi:No. It's not.
Greg:And Because we know we are a team, and they are sometimes the enemy. And, we are in this together. That sounded the wrong way, but you know exactly what I'm
Kristi:I hope one day our children doesn't don't watch this and be like,
Greg:what? I said sometimes. Sometimes they are.
Kristi:Not always. Also, when we say that, I think our kids are watching us
Greg:Yeah.
Kristi:To know how our marriage is supposed to with the it might be dysfunctional, you know, hopefully, they're watching a healthy marriage.
Greg:Yeah.
Kristi:But they're gonna model that in their own marriage.
Greg:Absolutely.
Kristi:So if And not
Greg:only that, they're gonna play you off of each other, and if you're putting the kids first, then they're gonna win. And and I don't mean that bad. I mean, it's gonna cause conflict in your marriage because you'll say yes or I'll say yes and or I'll say no, and then I'll go to you and you'll say yes or however that works out. It's just gonna cause a war between you.
Kristi:You have to, communicate with each other because how many times is our little darling daughter done that?
Greg:But we catch on to it pretty quick.
Kristi:We do.
Greg:Not always. Not always, but usually pretty quick.
Kristi:Yeah. Yeah. It's you to be honest, usually, you're you're like, go see what your mama says.
Greg:Well, I'm not dumb enough to tell her something if I think, if you're home, I'm like, she's probably already asked you.
Kristi:Yeah. Yeah.
Greg:So I'm like, go ask your mama. Or sometimes I'll say, what'd your mama say? And she'll beat around the bush, and then I'll know. But usually, I'm just like
Kristi:You just read her
Greg:face. Ask your mama. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Greg:But that, I mean, that is a huge one.
Kristi:Right.
Greg:Your kids are extremely important, but they cannot come before your spouse.
Kristi:Right. Right. And they're pretty smart. They will like you said, they'll manipulate. They'll but most of the time, they're just angels.
Greg:And just for those moms and dads out there who who maybe they're like, well, my kids are so I've gotta put them first. Honestly, when you do that, you are not doing them any favors. You are not modeling a healthy marriage for them. You are showing them
Kristi:They're the center of
Greg:the universe. I was trying to think of the way to say that. Yeah. That they are the most important thing, and they're not. And they need to know that because as soon as they're outside of mama's and daddy's view, when they get out into the real world, they are not gonna be the center of the universe, and they need to be used to that.
Kristi:No participation ribbons. Right?
Greg:No participation ribbons. Although in today's world, who knows? But yeah. See, that's that's a big one, and it doesn't seem like a big one, but it really is a big one.
Kristi:Yeah. It really is.
Greg:Yeah. I I would guess that a lot of couples go to marriage counseling over that exact I
Kristi:mean, if you want your children who you love dearly to have the marriage that you have, if you want them to go through whatever you're going through, then put them first, and and that's what's gonna happen. Yeah.
Greg:You know, that's all of these things, mean, is a good way to look at it, is if my kids have this marriage, is it godly and is it good? Right. Yeah. Evaluate your marriage through that scope.
Kristi:Yeah. That's
Greg:good. Do you have some scriptures that go along with that one too?
Kristi:I do. Genesis two twenty four, Ephesians five thirty one through 33, and Deuteronomy six six through seven.
Greg:Awesome. Awesome.
Kristi:Alright. The next one is we set boundaries.
Greg:That one can seem sound kinda weird. Set what do you need boundaries for with your spouse? But it's not really boundaries with your spouse.
Kristi:It's The
Greg:world. Boundaries with the world. So what's that look like for us? That's actually been a priority in our marriage Mhmm. For a I don't guess since the very beginning, but for a long time.
Greg:Yeah. As a as a pastor, I spend a lot of time, well, it goes through seasons. Some seasons, I'm doing a lot, and some I don't do it at all. But, you know, I do spend quite a bit of time just meeting with people and kind of doing pastoral counseling or, you know, just talking through issues that they're having or questions that they have. And we've had a rule early on, and it's the Billy Graham rule.
Greg:Billy Graham did this when he was, alive and in ministry, and it's a rule that I think all in ministry and really everyone in any sort of career should adopt. And that is, number one, I'm never in a car with a female by myself. You're never in a car with a man by yourself. I don't go have lunch or dinner with with the opposite sex by myself, and you don't either. Even my sister, and that's kinda weird, but not everybody knows she's my sister.
Greg:And, I know that because years ago, we were having lunch and somebody thought we were together. And, she was like, no. That's my brother. So people aren't always gonna walk up to the table and say, hey.
Kristi:You're gonna
Greg:They're gonna start talking.
Kristi:Yeah. You're gonna your your witness can be ruined
Greg:because happens when they talk? It's not just your witness. I mean, it is your witness, but it's also a rumor starts. Right. Your spouse hears the rumor.
Greg:Mhmm. They don't know it was your sister, or maybe they're confused about what the timing on that was,
Kristi:and then
Greg:questions start.
Kristi:Yeah.
Greg:So when I'm I don't do any of that. And when I meet with a female on my own, I can't say this is a 100% of the time because there are times where it's just not feasible. But there's somebody's in the building. Usually, somebody's in the meeting with me, but if if it's a very private matter or somebody still is in the building where I'm meeting with them at the church or, never go to their home or anything like that. And in the instance that I have to do it without someone else in the building, I always call you and say, hey, so and so's here.
Greg:I'll call you as soon as they leave. Right. So you know what's going on. And it's not it's not just those things, though. Even on our our devices, you know, you've got access to everything on my phone.
Greg:You know all my passwords. If there's a password you don't know, you know where to find it. There's nothing that that we hide from each other. It is all an open book. And there's gotta be those boundaries where you know your spouse has access to everything and you're not gonna do these things.
Greg:So that is it. If I could give one tip to a couple, that's number one. Never ever go out to dinner or have a meeting, one on one with someone of the opposite sex. Now if you're in a career and that just kinda happens, maybe it's a not a Christian organization or a Christian environment and those kind of meetings have to happen, I get it. You can't stop those sometimes.
Greg:But you just gotta be open with your your your spouse about that. I'm meeting with so and so. Send them a text real quick. Say, hey. I'm going to a meeting right now with so and so.
Greg:I'll let you know when I'm out. But always try to do it when there's other people around. You know. They don't have to be in the room with you per se, it's better if they are, but have somebody else in the building with you if can. Just put the boundaries up.
Kristi:And I mean, just boundaries in general, I'm not going to have a a male friend who's like my confidant, know, have friends that are men at church, a few old friends, but it's not like I'm gonna spill my guts to them, and get advice from them and stuff, that's just not healthy.
Greg:It's not.
Kristi:And you don't it would be the same way. It's just
Greg:It's a terrible idea.
Kristi:It is. It is.
Greg:Nothing good can come from it. Right. So
Kristi:And some people are rolling their eyes at us right now.
Greg:They they are.
Kristi:They're wrong.
Greg:I will I will die on that hill. Right. They are wrong on that one. So
Kristi:Scriptures for that is Proverbs four twenty three, Proverbs twenty five twenty eight, first Corinthians six twelve, and Ephesians five fifteen through 16.
Greg:Alright. What we got next on the list?
Kristi:In front of others, we only speak compliments about our spouse.
Greg:Yeah. I don't think we gotta spend a lot of time on that. That's self explanatory. We can be critical of each other to each other, and there's times we need to do that. Right.
Greg:I never, I don't think. Some of my listeners say, yeah, you did.
Kristi:Tell me about it if you did.
Greg:If that's the case, call me out on it. I'd when I speak of you when you're not around, I always I never speak ill of you. It's always complimentary. And if you are around and there's other people around, we're not gonna argue, and I'm not gonna say those things in front of other people. Right.
Greg:That's not to say I don't pick on you and make jokes that sometimes border on inappropriate, and I shouldn't say them in front of people. Inappropriate. Inappropriate in making it sound like I'm being critical of you. When really, I just mean it as a joke, but sometimes my jokes land wrong.
Kristi:On sensitive on sensitive hearts. Yes.
Greg:But but never never criticize in front of other people, whether your spouse is around or not. That's just that is also a terrible idea.
Kristi:And even when you're doing it privately, I hate to call it criticizing. I mean, like we were talking earlier, we just say, hey. You you don't be like, you did those.
Greg:Yeah. There's criticism that's just harsh point fingers criticism, but biblical criticism is more of a, this hurt me or you did this, and that's not lining up with what Right. How you need to be.
Kristi:Alright. We don't try to change each other. Instead, we pray for each other.
Greg:Yeah. Yeah. If you try to change your spouse, it's not gonna work. Right. And when we say we pray for each other, that is not praying that they will change.
Greg:Now if it's a simple thing that you want to change in them, then yeah, pray that they will see that and that they will repent of that. But I married you. I knew who you were when we got married. Granted, I know you better after we get married, but I knew what I was getting into. I mean, that sounds fab.
Greg:You know what I mean? But I mean, I I knew that You did. I don't need to change you. You are who God created you to be. Now if there's something sinful, yeah, I need to talk about that with you, and I need to pray for you.
Greg:But I don't need to change you. The Lord needs to change you
Kristi:in those things. Right. But when when you do get married, you may think you know somebody.
Greg:That's true. You never know everything about anybody. I mean That is true.
Kristi:Yeah. I mean, even thirty years in, we're still learning stuff about each other.
Greg:It's true.
Kristi:But you really don't know someone until you're married to them.
Greg:Yeah. Your goal should never be, I'm going to change my my wife or my husband and make them who I want them to be. Really, it should be, I wanna pray for them and change us together to make us who God wants us to be. Mhmm.
Kristi:Alright. And that is Philippians one nine through 11, Colossians one nine through twelve, first Peter three one through two, James five sixteen, and Philippians two thirteen. We agreed to a covenant where divorce is not an option. That's a big one.
Greg:That is a big one, and probably the most important one on the whole list.
Kristi:Mhmm.
Greg:If you are a Christian and you are married, that was not a an agreement between you and each other. That was a covenant between you, your spouse, and God that we are entering into this for life. Nothing can break that except death. That being said, there are biblical reasons that people get divorced, and they are very limited. And it's basically cut and dried, adultery is biblical grounds for divorce.
Greg:Not quite as cut and dried, but still valid is abuse, is a a biblical reason for divorce. That doesn't have as much evidence in scripture as adultery does, but it is still one that we can look at and say in many cases it's biblical. But divorce should never be I mean, that is always the last, absolutely last resort, and should never should never be on the table. You know, if it can all if there's any way that something could be worked out, pursue that no matter what. And maybe maybe you got people speaking into to your head, you know, they're whispering in your ear, they're not gonna change.
Greg:They're just they shouldn't have done that. They hurt you. They're terrible people. Maybe they did. Maybe something really happened.
Greg:Pursue reconciliation. Always pursue reconciliation. Just like Jesus did with us. And pursue reconciliation with us so that we can have a relationship with God. I know that there's people listening to this who've been divorced, and that's not condemnation.
Greg:There are divorces that happen. God is not done with you if you've been divorced, and you probably had a very good reason for the divorce. But it's still not ideally what God wanted for you. So for us, it is not on the table.
Kristi:You're stuck with me.
Greg:Ditto. I definitely won that one. So, yeah, I know that's a touchy subject because I know divorce in our culture is if you're not happy, just get divorced. It's not about happiness anymore. It's about covenant.
Greg:And you made a covenant before God, with God
Kristi:Mhmm.
Greg:That you were gonna be with this person for the rest of your life.
Kristi:And honestly, culture does not take marriage very seriously. No. And it's in culture, it's all about the wedding, and the reception, and you know, all the unimportant things. But if you go in with it being a covenant, and you decide beforehand divorce is not an option, does it mean that something's not gonna happen down the road, you cannot reconcile, you cannot or you know, the biblical reasons, but you can't go in like, oh, if it doesn't work out, if I'm not happy in a year, I'll just get divorced. You cannot treat marriage like that.
Greg:That's treating them more like a contract than a covenant. Covenants and contracts aren't the same thing. Marriage is a covenant. Yeah.
Kristi:And people honestly, it is a disservice to couples to not educate them on what marriage is beforehand, to get pastoral counseling and and premarital counseling and all of those things to so they can make a decision, or like, am I really able to do this? Am I really able to commit like this? So take it seriously, because it's not just about the reception. At Malachi two fourteen, Matthew nineteen four through six, Genesis two twenty four, and Mark ten nine.
Greg:Alright. So that's kind of a list of of some things that we wish people had talked about with us before we got married. And I I hope that as you you think about those, if you're already married, you'll you'll see the importance in all of those, and you'll go refer to those scriptures and see that your marriage is is it's not all about you anymore. It's all about this covenant you've made with that person in the Lord. And if you are thinking about marriage, then I hope that putting these things out there will help you think through that process.
Greg:It's not just something you jump into. That's the God Made Podcast for this week. I I hope that this one has helped you. If you know of anyone who who maybe needs to hear this topic or be reminded of this topic, share this with them. Like and follow this podcast if you're watching it on YouTube or whether you're listening to it.
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Greg:So that's, that's it for the God Made Podcast today. We will see you next time for the next episode.