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With a variety of shows, Legion Podcasts brings you discussion on the worlds of horror, film and video games from an assortment of perspectives.
Richard: We saw that body.
Richard: We can go to the state police.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: Police.
Richard: All right.
Richard: All right.
Richard: We'll fill out the report.
Jeffrey: Report.
[Silence]
Richard: I told you everything, Sheriff. Yeah, look, why don't we just go there, okay?
Jeffrey: There's no hurry, but If you really saw a corpse.
Richard: It's not going anywhere.
Jeffrey: going anywhere.
Richard: It won't run away.
Jeffrey: Bye.
[Silence]
Richard: Welcome to Hello, this is the Doomed Show.
Richard: I am creepy crawlin' Richard.
Richard: I'm here with contamination contamination point Jeffrey.
Richard: Seven.
Jeffrey: Uh my name my name's Jeffrey and that's my name, but uh you can call me Wolfie.
Richard: Yeah. Why do you why are you called Wolfie?
Jeffrey: Uh,'cause I'm always chasing the girls.
Richard: Folks, welcome to the show. We are talking about
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: The crawlers, aka contamination point seven.
Richard: AKA Creepers AKA Troll.
Richard: three.
Jeffrey: Trolls the third.
Richard: Trolls the third. Troll three world tour.
Richard: Um this was directed by um No stranger to this show no Fabrizio Lorenti Of witchery fame.
Richard: Call back to an old Jeffrey episode.
Jeffrey: A favorite.
Richard: And uh frickin' Supposedly Joe D'Amato.
Richard: had to had to help out with this complicated American movie.
Jeffrey: You say D'Amato, I say tomato.
Jeffrey: Let's call the whole thing off.
Richard: Yeah, I used to say D Amato.
Richard: Oh my god, calls from the public no
Richard: Yes. I I used to say Diamato, but I think you were like Uh I think it's D'Amato, I'm like You're more Italian than me, I'll take it.
Jeffrey: I'll take it. I'm gonna I'm gonna change it back every time we talk about him.
Jeffrey: But you'll never know.
Richard: That's like uh Katie was like
Richard: What is the what are we gonna say when we refer to these ladies of the night? Are we saying sex worker? And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, we're saying sex worker And she goes
Richard: But you've said hooker like three or four times just now and I'm like, I did? I was like, I'm fucked. Whatever. I'm doing the best I can here. Help me. Help me. Anyway.
Richard: Uh so yes, this is from nineteen ninety Uh this has four riders.
Richard: Because it needed four writers to make it Come to life or
Jeffrey: It's true.
Jeffrey: All best things do.
Richard: Um we've got uh good old Daniela Strappa here.
Richard: And she was Uh worked on Everyone's favorite Delirium photos of Joia.
Jeffrey: Oh yeah. This this uh
Richard: Masterpiece.
Jeffrey: This writer is credited as Daniel Steele.
Jeffrey: on the um credits and I was like Danielle Steele
Richard: Ha ha ha.
Jeffrey: Wow, she's branching out.
Richard: Oh my god, that would have been so dope.
Richard: Ha ha.
Richard: Uh but this guy, uh this lady, excuse me, also worked on uh the wax mask.
Richard: And uh ch Voices from Beyond, the movie that I wish was Fulci's actual final film.
Richard: Uh,'cause it's not the Caprice classic commercial that his uh real last film is.
Richard: Uh she also worked on House of Clocks.
Richard: And our favorite Zombie Five Killing Birds.
Jeffrey: Squawks, squawks.
Richard: Squat.
Richard: Raptors?
Richard: Um someone named Albert Lawrence worked on this. I don't think he has any other
Richard: Credits. This is his only credit.
Jeffrey: I believe not, no.
Richard: But uh Joe D'Amato helped out with this and of course the director helped out on this.
Richard: Uh Rosella Drudy I think.
Jeffrey: Oh yeah, we know her.
Richard: That's yeah, that's that's uh a legend. A legend from Italy, just so many great stuff. So many great stuff.
Jeffrey: She's the one who like I believe helps with a lot of the like English dialogue.
Jeffrey: Um like y which is which explains why it is the way that it is.
Richard: Ha ha ha.
Richard: Oh man.
Richard: Anyone who worked on Night Killer and Troll two, it's a very special person.
Jeffrey: Thank you.
Jeffrey: My favorite credit in in this intro is um seeing that uh Laura Gemzer was the costume designer. That's pretty cool.
Richard: That was her second career was showing up as costumes for a bunch of movies. It's so awesome.
Jeffrey: Black Emmanuel herself, uh doing a I don't know, not that great of a job with the costumes in this movie.
Richard: She brought all the cut off shorts. She she has that really she she brought that really cute dress for uh Um Mary Cellars to wear.
Richard: But oh yes, so um we're gonna spoil this movie. Uh there's some wonderful Very uh Very daring twists and turns in this bad boy.
Richard: Uh so watch out You spoiler Holyx.
Jeffrey: Uh uh
Richard: Uh-oh. Here is the um lovely trailer for The crawlers.
Jeffrey: In this place of tranquil beauty.
Jeffrey: The air is clean.
Richard: It's a place you always dreamed of.
Jeffrey: Until now.
Richard: I got the feeling something awful's gonna happen here.
Jeffrey: Matt, where are you?
Richard: Thank you.
[Silence]
Jeffrey: Somewhere in these woods.
Richard: Someone knows.
Jeffrey: knows the awful truth.
Richard: About their Stop.
[Music]
Jeffrey: If you wait.
[Music]
Jeffrey: Oh I already forgot.
Jeffrey: Uh oh hold on, hold on, I'll remember, I'll remember, I'll remember.
Jeffrey: Uh If you wait, ye bait.
Jeffrey: It's so awesome.
Richard: So awesome. Oh my god. So that should have been on the frickin' uh VHS tape.
Richard: Um of course I don't own the VHS tape, but I have uh the Google system of eBay looking And I found the nineteen ninety three Epic home video.
Richard: Slash Columbia Tri Star VHS tape.
Jeffrey: Beautiful.
Richard: Very bizarre that they put that up. But that tagline's not on there. Instead we get They kill.
Richard: You're next.
Jeffrey: Mwah. I don't like it.
Richard: Eh, it's fine.
Richard: Um here is the uh the plot. This is so good.
Richard: It's one complete sentences and two incomplete sentences. This is gorgeous. This is almost a haiku.
Richard: A new kind of monster.
Richard: A living lethal organism that strikes its victims without warning. No one can stop the crawlers and
Jeffrey: Yeah.
[Silence]
Richard: That is all that's on the team.
Richard: Oh I'm sorry, I left out a whole sentence.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: Color ninety four minutes.
Richard: That's not really a sentence.
Richard: But what's more s more s what's most important though is this is a film mirage
Jeffrey: İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
Richard: How would you how do you describe film mirage movies, Jeffrey?
Jeffrey: Uh is it a film or is it just a mirage?
Richard: Was there ever a theater?
Jeffrey: Probably.
Richard: Probably not.
Jeffrey: Uh for this one there was not a theater. No. This one
Jeffrey: Part of my trivia. It was it was intended to be released theatrically, but it
Jeffrey: It did not. Due to financial issues it went straight to video.
Richard: Psh, man. Uh yeah, film Mirage in the early nineties, I'm sure, was uh
Richard: A little dicey. I a little dicey. I love it.
Richard: some important characters here.
Richard: We've got some some fun folks.
Richard: Um we've got Mary Sellers, aka Wanja.
Richard: Merry Cellars.
Richard: I love her new name.
Richard: She plays Josie. Uh she was from this little town that where this movie takes place.
Richard: Uh but she's gonna come back.
Richard: And uh get some grief from her her former boyfriend for her
Jeffrey: Uh-huh.
Richard: Her now city ways, Uh but we love Mary Sellers on this show.
Richard: Um she is so fun.
Richard: You've seen her before in stage frights.
Richard: the McKay Salafi version of Stage Fright.
Richard: Um I mean...
Richard: You know, there's multiple films called Stage Fright, is what I meant.
Richard: Uh but she was also in um Ghost house.
Richard: Yep. Where she's pretty much the most shrill character ever in that one. But I just I love Mary Sellers. She's so adorable. She's the best.
Richard: Her boyfriend is named Matt. Uh he he's the one who did not leave the town. They were engaged when she was only sixteen.
Richard: This is Jason Saucier.
Richard: Of the the saucier family who made sauces.
Jeffrey: I I I I like imagine he's saucier. Like, you know, you got your typical leading man, but this one's just a little bit saucier.
Richard: And I took it to food because I'm hungry.
Richard: I'm a hungy boy.
Richard: But yes, he was in Hitcher in the Dark and some other Italian things.
Richard: Um these are of course are English speaking, American, usually American folks who Uh we're hired.
Richard: Because they spoke English and were attractive.
Richard: And then they worried about the quality of their acting after they hired them.
Richard: Um next up we have Dr. Taylor.
[Silence]
Jeffrey: Bubbery
Richard: This guy Is He has a I want to say this nicely.
Richard: He has a face for radio.
Jeffrey: He has such charisma, this guy.
Jeffrey: He is okay, he is maybe like
Jeffrey: If there wa okay, there is one man in this in this movie who is even shlubbier than uh Doctor Taylor. Uh but only one and and it's it's a tough competition.
Richard: They should have a beer gut fight.
Richard: Uh but this guy, he if he's wearing makeup, I will be shocked. Like he there's no way they just s they just stuck this guy in front of the camera.
Richard: Um he actually was in another movie that I've heard of. He was in a uh a Cynthia Rothrock movie called uh China O'Brien.
Jeffrey: O'Brien. And he's in China O'Brien too as well, isn't he? Is that what it says? Yeah, he's he does stunts in China O'Brien too. Can you imagine him doing stunts?
Richard: No. No. Yeah.
Jeffrey: That's the same year.
Richard: I mean he's built like me. That's why I can make fun of him,'cause that's my exact body type. What the fuck?
Richard: Oh my god.
Richard: Um, we've got some other people I wanna mention real quick.
Richard: Uh we've got Chelsea Star And then way she spells her name is like one of those Like jokey Californian names you'd see in like LA story or something.
Richard: Uh but she plays Susan.
Jeffrey: Mm-hmm. She spells her name the same way that um Mia Goth pronounces it in uh in all of the X films. I'm a star!
Richard: Uh チャオセンスター
Richard: But yes, Susan is uh just passing through. She's going to Seattle. Um, spoiler alert, she's not gonna make it.
Richard: Speaking of of maybe stripper names Um we've got James Lynn.
Richard: That says J A Y M Z L I N Sacton James Lynn Saxton, That's a really that's a really good name.
Richard: It's so beautiful. She's our sex positive character. She's
Richard: a sex worker in town. But um I've never I you never see her collect any money.
Richard: You just see men shamefully going home with her and And then not sleeping with her because reasons.
Jeffrey: Well uh mostly because it seems like she's their therapist. Like it's not what she signed up for, but it's what everybody wants to do.
Richard: Just tell her their problem.
Jeffrey: Jane James Lynn Saxon was only in this movie. This is what she's known for. And her her IMDB photo is of her death scene from this movie, of her being choked out by the uh
Jeffrey: The the the crawlers. Um
Jeffrey: for allers. But she the actress has sadly passed away back in twenty twelve. But weirdly it gives like the cause of death, which I don't know. I don't feel like we usually get that on IMDb, but maybe I'm just not morbid enough to look.
Jeffrey: But yeah, pulmonary embolism.
Jeffrey: I guess is how she does.
Richard: Yeah, that's like a Wikipedia thing.
Jeffrey: I know. Weird
Richard: They just had so little information on her.
Jeffrey: Put something.
Richard: the the star of the movie for me, other than a certain four legged beast, Is uh Vince O'Neill as sheriff.
Jeffrey: Oh yeah.
Jeffrey: He's great.
Richard: Every time This guy is on screen.
Richard: I'm in love.
Richard: I was so sad when he leaves the movie just a little too soon.
Richard: Just a little too soon for my own.
Jeffrey: It's a little too soon.
Jeffrey: Yes. Oh please do.
Richard: Oh please do. I I have one more as well.
Jeffrey: So we have Addie
Jeffrey: Addie Pader asks Fat Man. That's what he's credited as. One word, too. Um, he actually is the person who I was saying uh he's uh because I'm seeing that and it it's clear from his name that he is born in Scotland.
Jeffrey: Scotland. Um and he is the uh person who I think is in the running for most charismatic actor alongside Bubba Reeves.
Richard: Nice.
Jeffrey: Nice. And then lastly, of course, uh my MVP of this movie is Uh
Richard: Lord
Jeffrey: Lord Chester Lord Chester the Dog, who is also named Chester in this movie.
Jeffrey: Or Wolfie.
Jeffrey: Uh'cause he's always chasing the girls.
Richard: Girls.
Richard: Is Fat Man the evil guy in the movie? The Yes. He's not doctor he's Dr. Krug.
Jeffrey: Doctor Kruger. No, no, no. He's he's the guy who um uh uh Susan gets into takes a ride from. Oh he's
Richard: Oh he's the rapist. Yeah.
Jeffrey: Yes.
Richard: Yes. Got it.
Jeffrey: Yes.
Richard: So which one is Dr. Kruger? Because I would like to credit this crazy man.
Richard: Is he Jack or This they never I d I did not hear them call him by anything other than Doctor Kruger.
Jeffrey: Well Jack is played by someone named Eddie Ebby, which is just a great
Richard: Which is a cool name. Yeah. Folks
Richard: normally I don't drop the ball like this, but I have no idea which actor this is. But Doctor Kruger is our villain And he tries to steal the movie from the sheriff and oh my god, it's great.
Jeffrey: Well nobody can steal the movie from Chester. I'm sorry.
Richard: No, it's true. Uh last but not least Um is uh Gabrielle Tinti showing up.
Richard: in a y another thankless role on this era of his career.
Richard: Gabrielle Tint he was in
Richard: frickin everything for so many years. Awesome actor. Uh he plays Doctor Pritzy. He's one of the people who's going to help perpetuate this conspiracy.
Jeffrey: Nice.
Richard: God bless him.
Richard: I'll say those are the people Like I said, we're gonna spoil this, but we're gonna not despite my two and a half pages of notes, we're gonna try not to spoil Too much.
Richard: But we're gonna talk all about the sheriff and how he should have been In the whole movie.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: Every scene.
Jeffrey: Actually I I do have to pause to highlight some other really important uncredited cameos in this movie. Okay, I'm ready. Um uh we have a it's It's amazing'cause it's all in one shot of the film.
Jeffrey: But we get so many heavy headers that We get Howdy doody.
Jeffrey: We get The monkeys.
Jeffrey: from Merlin's magical shop of wonders. Oh yes. And we get an off-brand Snoopy.
Jeffrey: All together.
Jeffrey: This is like my Avengers.
Richard: That's right, the younger brother the younger brother of uh of Mary Sellers' character.
Richard: Um his bedroom is full of things. Thank you for catching. I missed all of that.
Jeffrey: He also he's gifted by uh Josie. Josie gives him this little um It's like a it's a Venus flytrap coin machine.
Jeffrey: Uh yeah, it's
Richard: Yeah, it's it's a it's an off brand Audrey two.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: Yeah. Toy from good old uh pet shop pet shop?
Richard: Little shop of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit more pet shop.
Richard: There there is an anime called Pet Shop of Horrors in my defense, which I've actually seen.
Jeffrey: She when she gives him this this little off brand Audrey two, she goes, I hope you're still into plants.
Jeffrey: Okay.
Richard: Oh she doesn't know what she's getting into. Wait till he gets out of the book.
Jeffrey: She then tells him, Just shut up and play with your carnivorous plant which is something that I want to say to people.
Richard: Ha ha.
Richard: And they would deserve it.
Jeffrey: Yes.
Richard: Uh so yes, this movie opens up with that synth sound.
Richard: I believe it's a it's a Yamaha uh DX7.
Richard: It was a uh A synthesizer that was one of the early digital synthesizers.
Richard: Everybody bought one and everybody had the same presets.
Jeffrey: Thank you.
Richard: This is why for like four or five years of not just Italian horror but all horror movies.
Richard: And anything with like a a a dark tone had that Wow.
Richard: Kind of sound effect.
Richard: Um that is a preset that comes with the Yamaha and it makes me laugh.
Jeffrey: Laugh.
Richard: I literally found a guy playing uh through o every single preset on YouTube.
Richard: and got to that sound effect and my eyes were tearing'cause I was so happy.
Richard: That I wasn't crazy.
Jeffrey: How do you feel about the music in this film, Richard?
Richard: I am very fond of this. This is our buddy Uh Carlo Maria Cordo, who's done so many great movies.
Richard: That he had to recycle himself in
Jeffrey: Oh yeah.
Richard: Like I told Lyota I was like especially the big oh, we almost didn't mention the biggest star of the movie, the helicopter.
Richard: Um during one of the helicopter scenes.
Richard: they're playing some music that sounds like Carlo uh like rewriting his music, but I think what he did was is he just took an old MIDI file from a previous movie and just uh rearranged the notes a little bit.
Richard: Mm-hmm.
Richard: It's that bass that wow wow clack wow go shit so dumb.
[Music]
Richard: What about you?
Jeffrey: Oh yeah, it's great. I I love at times it's i it is I would say um
Jeffrey: Divergent with the tone of the scene that we're watching. Yeah.
Jeffrey: A lot of like triumphant and like happy go lucky music over Like murder, rage.
Richard: Yeah. Yeah, I wrote that the uh we see a bus cruising down here and we're gonna have our little meat cute between uh Susan and Josie.
Richard: Uh I wrote that the music sounds like jazzy eighties crud. Mm-hmm.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: Uh but yes, we have a bus trip. They're going through Going to this small town in apparently Uh Potterville, Utah is where this was filmed.
Jeffrey: Yep.
Jeffrey: Which is the same place a little bit trivia, same place where Troll Two was filmed. That's how you know they're this is the third.
Jeffrey: All in the same universe.
Richard: They were just going back to that town and breaking hearts.
Jeffrey: Arts.
Richard: Giving people dreams that they would never have fulfilled.
[Silence]
Jeffrey: I thought that's the same.
Richard: I thought the little kid in this was the same kid from
Jeffrey: No.
Richard: From Troll Two for a split second, but then I was like, no, that kid in Troll Two is way better at acting.
Richard: This kid's just here.
Jeffrey: True.
Richard: I love the little conversation when Susan like goes up to Josie and she's like
Richard: You don't look like you're from around here. You look like you're from the big city. And she's like, No, I'm actually from here.
Richard: And I'm like, Oh, you guys are besties now.
Jeffrey: She was really just very um intrusive. Just like leave Josie alone. I don't want somebody to talk to me on this bus. You're sitting behind her. You're not even sitting next to her. Leave her alone. Oh my god. She doesn't want to talk to you.
Richard: There are rules.
Richard: There are rules. Um so yes, the bus pulls over.
Richard: And uh Susan gets off What happens to Susan when she gets off the bus?
Richard: For fourteen seconds.
Jeffrey: Yeah, she takes the world's quickest pee, but it's not quick enough.
Jeffrey: Uh,'cause the the driver drives away.
Jeffrey: I don't know what he wanted what he got. Like he was like, Oh I really I need a Kit Kat bar real quick.
Richard: Oh my god, he ran in to get his payday.
Jeffrey: So he
Richard: He just
Jeffrey: drives away and didn't inform anyone that that I guess that that was what was gonna happen. So Susan is stranded there.
Richard: No one else got off the bus though, so everyone else knew not to, but not this Rube.
Jeffrey: Well, she's too busy yapping, not listening.
Jeffrey: So She stranded there with the kindly uh proprietor.
Jeffrey: Who does not have a car despite Owning uh uh d uh a convenience store and gas station.
Jeffrey: Uh and and he's also uh he's he's there and she's there with uh Snoopy.
Jeffrey: Um, who looks a little bit like what you'd imagine Snoopy looks like if Snoopy was a real dog. But this is of course is Lord Chester.
Jeffrey: Um who the the the the convenience store keep says his name is Chester, but I call him Wolfie'cause he's always chasing girls.
Richard: Yeah.
Jeffrey: But then he also calls him
Richard: Old lover boy.
Jeffrey: Loverboy.
Jeffrey: So he th this This dog has so many different names.
Richard: Second.
Richard: You know you have nicknames for all your cats. Like each cat has like six different nicknames because I do that.
Jeffrey: It's true, but they're all like variations of their s of their normal name, not just like totally different names. And then at the end of the day he also does just call him Chester, so I I don't know.
Richard: There you go.
Richard: Yeah, yeah.
Richard: Dogs don't know what to do.
Jeffrey: Susan, despite being like annoying, she also has what to if this movie was made today it would be a laboo boo.
Jeffrey: Um but right now instead in the nineteen eighties it is a pink teddy bear that's just shoved into her bag sticking out.
Jeffrey: It's a weird little detail. It does pop up later after she's dead. It's like ripped up into pieces right next to her corpse. Um, so it's like, oh, the indignity.
Richard: Um did the crawlers do that in front of her to like increase her terror?
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: Terror. Then they killed her. We don't see that scene.
Jeffrey: So basically the the guy at the at the the stop here, the the rest well, it's not a rest stop, it's convenience store and gas station is just like, Well, you just gotta wait or you gotta hitchhike Uh somebody'll come around, so
Jeffrey: And who does? Well it's it's Fat Man. Fat Man, one word.
Richard: The rapist. Great.
Jeffrey: Great. Uh and this is where we get like some terrible muzak. Um when like almost immediately he's putting his hands on her legs.
Jeffrey: And saying things like, I'm gonna stick it to ya I'm just kidding.
Jeffrey: Oh to hell with you tramps anyway.
Jeffrey: Um this guy oh he's so bad. He's so bad.
Richard: Yeah.
Richard: It's hot. She's like, Yep. He's like, You're hot And he's like
Richard: Do you like music? She's like, Sure and he puts on the shitty music. It's so good. And then he's like, I know what you like.
Richard: And of course his ha her thighs were just a magnet for this creepo.
Jeffrey: If someone said if someone asked me, Do you like music and then they put that on, I'd be like, I changed my mind.
Richard: You like music?
Richard: Yeah. I bet you like something else, don't you?
Jeffrey: Take it up, jerk!
Richard: I like that.
Richard: The only thing good about this guy is His taste in music.
Jeffrey: Ha ha ha ha.
Jeffrey: He so he chases her into the woods and she becomes the first victim of the crawlers.
Jeffrey: Um with her.
Jeffrey: Wildly evil dead demise.
Richard: Yes, I
Richard: I love it. It's it's She's screaming.
Richard: Because something has grabbed her.
Richard: And we're only seeing her from like the waist up, so it's grabbed her toe.
Richard: Ankle
Richard: her calf, her thigh, her waist, we don't know. It's very Very um
Richard: Hidden. Um I think this is like How not to get people interested in your movie?
Richard: It's so well I hope that's the worst part of the movie.
Richard: So Matt. our love interest for Josie, her her ex.
Richard: Um they're g they're gonna get back together.
Richard: It's very awkward because they've had all this time apart.
Richard: I love how he's exposition guy. He's like Instead of hinting at what their relationship was like before she left.
Richard: He just straight up reminds her that they were engaged. Like, remember when you were engaged? We were engaged when you were sixteen, she's like
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: That's yeah, I'm glad you brought that up. Uh but we'll come back to them in a bit for a very important scene.
Jeffrey: He is a very blunt guy. Like uh upon their first uh you know being reunited he's like wow you look exactly the same. You still got that weird tooth.
Richard: What a f Fucking cool dude.
Richard: Uh we see some some men of the uh the town talking about the trees being dried out and like Talk about your acid rain.
Richard: And uh what's really going on is that there's been a huh Wonderful radiation leak.
Richard: Uh but w the only man who seems to have discovered this and was willing to talk about it as doctor Taylor, our Main hero.
Jeffrey: Sure.
Richard: Uh but yes, he's in uh direct opposition to his boss Uh Doctor Kruger.
Richard: Uh Doctor Kruger is um Middle management kind of boring evil boss of the movie.
Richard: Um he doesn't go full fledged bonkers until the end.
Richard: And it's um Amazing.
Richard: But he's gonna give all of the power to investigate this incident with the radioactivity in the in the area To doctor Pritzy, a good old Gabrielle Tinty.
Richard: But there's a lot of like Knowing glances and like Yeah, we'll take care of that.
Richard: By the way, doctor Taylor, how come you're a drunk and he pulls out this bottle of booze that was supposedly hidden and At Dr. Taylor's desk.
Richard: Oh it's so good, it's so good.
Jeffrey: Doctor Taylor does give off like extreme, uh sad alcoholic vibes.
Richard: Yeah. Oh he he lives up to what they suspected him of.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: There's a great scene um of the little brother showing Josie his uh fascinating leaf book where he's got his leaf collection glued into a book and it's literally putting her to sleep.
Richard: So funny.
Jeffrey: Yep, guess he's still in the plants.
Richard: The present she chose for him was absolutely perfect.
Richard: Uh the best moment is Dr. Taylor at the bar though excuse me, the best dialogue moment is Dr. Taylor at the bar getting shit faced.
Richard: And he is g about to be cut off.
Richard: by the uh the bartender, but he gives him a little uh worldly wisdom here to keep the Booze flowing, he says A man may drink too much There are circumstances.
Richard: Which he cannot get Enough, said To drink.
Richard: I love that so much.
Jeffrey: There's there's somebody else who bellies up to the bar at one point. I believe an older gentleman who says, Rum and Coke, easy on the Coke.
Richard: What we need is the uh The frickin' uh chauffeur from Nightmare Weekend to show up and get one of his special sandwiches.
Richard: Think you've seen the ultimate pizza?
Richard: You ain't mean.
Richard: The new Grand Pan Pizza from Pizza Hut Delivery.
Jeffrey: The ultimate band B.
Richard: Fan pizza with not eight.
Richard: Not nine, but ten great toppings.
Jeffrey: Now get one.
Richard: Now get one grand pan pizza.
Jeffrey: Pan pizza for only
Richard: for only 9.90.
Jeffrey: for just four dollars.
Richard: Four dollars more.
[Music]
Richard: This is where we meet Paula.
Richard: The the sex worker Who uh picks up Doctor Taylor and takes him out of there to go back to her place.
Richard: a very fun scene of her, you know, letting him know that Not being able to perform is fine, who cares?
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: Life is short, don't worry about it.
Richard: But then he notices on his map that there's a pattern to all this radiation.
Richard: And then sadly
Jeffrey: Chester.
Richard: Sure. is the second victim.
Richard: Of the crawlers.
Jeffrey: No Lord Chester.
Richard: Yep, Lord Chester.
Jeffrey: Who will inherit your estate?
[Silence]
Richard: Lady Dog name.
Richard: His girlfriend.
Richard: Or his his wife.
Richard: The next morning after the the horrific dog murder, which thankfully, you know, nineteen ninety th
Richard: nineteen ninety Italy, they they can just show a scene from far away where you can't see the dog and they play a dog yelping sound. There's no danger to any animals other than A sound animal.
Richard: But the next morning Matt and Josie w wha tell me about their little walk in the woods.
Jeffrey: Well, they go on a bit of a date, um, to a local waterfall in Porterville, Utah.
Jeffrey: And it is the most awkward thing you could possibly imagine. Um So not only do they go to look at the waterfall, but Matt, like a dingus, just immediately like gets into the water in his clothes and starts like
Jeffrey: flapping around with his arms, saying, This is paradise and he's like splashing himself with water because Josie is not going in. She's standing to the side like You're a goon.
Richard: Yeah.
Jeffrey: And he's he's he's clearly ADR'd in here and so his dialogue sounds like Whee, yeah, ha ha ha ha ha ha. He sounds like he's going Ricky Garbage Day. Um it's a lie. Oh sh.
Richard: Oh shit.
Jeffrey: Shit.
Richard: He literally says that I like it here.
Richard: This feels good.
[Silence]
Jeffrey: It feels good.
Richard: This feels good.
Jeffrey: He then he then follows it up by saying after they well, after really he gets out of the water, he says, That was romantic, but damn it was cold.
Jeffrey: Uh to which Josie says nothing, just crickets.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: Which is it's it's gonna get crazier. It's g it gets so crazy'cause this bizarre meeting ritual shit works.
Jeffrey: works.
Richard: Somehow.
Jeffrey: Somehow I like you, man.
Richard: Let's go!
Richard: So after they're playing in the water
Richard: they're putting their shoes back on and you're sort of were like, Oh wait, do they have sex? No, okay. No. No, they're just coming back from the lake.
Richard: And then he hides and she thinks he's gone, we think, oh, maybe It's it's gonna be the fake out or he's already gotten, but no, it's a fake out and he scares her.
Richard: And she's like, Oh you idiot.
Richard: Then they kiss and then they're putting their clothes back on.
Jeffrey: Well, he also right before that says that she's still as bitchy as she was at sixteen.
Jeffrey: And then they have sex.
Jeffrey: Ha ha.
Jeffrey: Very bizarre. And importantly, they're doing this right next to the corpse of Susan and her her poor
Jeffrey: Ripped up teddy bear. And they just didn't notice?
Richard: Nope. No, they couldn't notice her until after they they did they did the sex act.
Jeffrey: Listen, people in Porterville, Utah, they just they they they court differently.
Richard: That's right. We should not judge them by our big city ways.
Richard: That's when They go to the sheriff after discovering Susan's body, but Jeffrey.
Richard: What I mean, there's so much going on with the sheriff stuff. This is beautiful.
Jeffrey: Speaking of big city beliefs, this sheriff
Jeffrey: He doesn't believe him. He says specifically, Haha, I'll go with you, but I don't believe you.
Jeffrey: I think y'all snorted something from the big city and then came down here and lied.
Richard: And you know what, sure.
Jeffrey: You know what, sure I'll go with you, but we'll take our time. Corpses don't run away.
Jeffrey: This guy's so funny. What do you like about the sheriff, Richard?
Richard: His well his his acting style, first of all his what you think is just him being gleefully stupid on purpose ends up being He's in the pocket dun dun dun.
Jeffrey: Uh
Richard: Of Dr. Kruger and this power plant that's dumping The toxic waste.
Richard: But it's just i you don't know at first, so it's just so w he's just delightfully stupid and ruining everyone's day.
Richard: But he's so big and over the top and just
Richard: Fun. He's having so much fun. Love this guy.
Richard: So we get to see that yes, Dr. Pritzy and Kruger, they got tipped off.
Richard: By the sheriff. They went and got the body.
Richard: Um we got Susan's gnarly corpse.
Richard: with uh its faces ripped and Uh her face is ripped and the uh roots from the crawlers, these tree based life forms are crawling through her body and coming on her face and eating her face But it's a s it's like a very static
Richard: uh sculpture that they made for the effects. It is is not moving or doing anything.
Jeffrey: Not crawling.
Richard: No. Ha ha ha.
Richard: Then we have the saddest scene ever with the old man without Chester.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: No. He's so sad and then he gets gotten to Um but let's get to the uh
Richard: The chase scene. Uh Doctor Taylor goes back to work.
Richard: And um he gets fired.
Richard: And He's gonna be uh gotten by the goons, these government looking goons, hired presumably by Dr. Kruger, and um he escapes
Richard: This plant which looks really familiar from another movie. I swear they filmed something else in this plant.
Jeffrey: Probably, yeah.
Richard: I wrote in my notes that in order to get out of the plant the this radioactive I mean uh This power plant.
Richard: He quote makes a cool getaway like in Mission Impossible, The Final Reckoning.
Richard: And Jeffrey, I I need to ask you something. Have you been watching these Mission Impossible movies? I sure have. Oh yeah. Okay. Um, did you know that it's called Mission Impossible.
Richard: Colon.
Richard: The final reckoning. Am I reading that right?
Jeffrey: Right.
Richard: That is a hideous title.
Richard: Like I'm not saying the other titles were better.
Richard: That is really bad.
Jeffrey: Well, the the one before that was uh Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One.
Jeffrey: And then they decided to change the name of the last one from Dead Reckoning Part Two, I guess, to the Final Reckoning.
Jeffrey: It's
Richard: Is is Henry Cavill still like punching people?
Jeffrey: No, he d he got he got killed.
Richard: That's all I know about that the whole series is um the bathroom scene where you Like punches a wall or something.
Jeffrey: Yeah, he was a bad guy.
Richard: Oh spoilers.
Jeffrey: Tom Cruise had to kill him.
Richard: Yeah.
Jeffrey: Oh man Tom So the thing is, in those movies, Tom Cruise is well, well documented for doing his own stunts. And that's exactly
Jeffrey: what um what's his name? Bubba Bubba Reeves does here. Which is probably what secured him the job in uh Stuntman in China O'Brien too.
Jeffrey: Right, right, right. Because he, much like, you know, Tom Cruise has his really distinctive run.
Jeffrey: And uh so does Bubba Reeves. Um it's uh it's a man running and looking like he's about to collapse um because he's moving at about two miles an hour, uh but it's still it's still about uh one and a half miles too fast.
Richard: Oh my god.
Richard: So good.
Jeffrey: He runs through he escapes the goons, he outsmarts them.
Jeffrey: on foot and then he gets into a car and you would think, well, the pace is gonna pick up now.
Jeffrey: No, no it does not. Uh what at well one point one of the goons says, just shut up and step on it.
Jeffrey: But there's no increase in speed. They're driving at about thirty miles an hour. Oh it's so slow.
Richard: The other thing the goons do is explain to the audience what's going on by way of talking to each other.
Jeffrey: I appreciate that.
Richard: It's very cute.
Richard: He's gonna get away if we don't do this, blah blah blah. It's like oh shit, what are we doing?
Richard: Ha.
Jeffrey: There is some cool like video game uh like bonus round music in this particular scene to to make it more suspenseful.
Richard: Dude, it's so fun. Yes, and the goons get gotten. He gets out in the woods.
Jeffrey: Woods.
Richard: And instead of him getting killed by the uh the good old uh crawlers, these goons get it.
Richard: Um but we finally see have seen the crawlers now.
Richard: Uh which I think w is one of the reasons, maybe. This is just me speculating.
Richard: Why this has such a Pitiful rating.
Richard: on IMDB. Uh this is a two point nine out of ten, folks, if you are keeping score here, which you know Uh I'll be watching a three point seven Or a three point one and I'm like, Yeah, this is fine.
Richard: And then I'm watching like it's what has a two point nine and I I have to turn the movie off. Not all the time.
Richard: But sometimes I'm like, wow this is there's a reason why people hate this.
Richard: Um I've yet to see why people are hating on this.
Jeffrey: Uh but
Richard: The fact that the crawlers At the worst of times are sticks.
Richard: At the best of times are gross looking roots that wrap around people that aren't very animated.
Richard: Oh boy, it's very nice. Uh so Matt and good old Josie have had a huge fight.
Richard: And it's very depressing. Oh my god.
Richard: I I my whole world is hinging on their romance.
Richard: Um and so Matt goes to the bar to drown his sorrows where he meets our pal sex worker Paula.
Richard: And he cozyes up to her and once again back at her place, he's not having sex with her. Um she is the therapist, as you called her.
Jeffrey: She's an attempted sex worker.
Jeffrey: It just doesn't quite work out. Yeah.
Richard: She she's been arrested many times with uh Solicitation intent.
Jeffrey: No, she's been uh uh arrested for making men cry.
Richard: Oh yes. Well they started it.
Richard: Uh, they deserve it. Fricking patriarchy stops here.
Richard: But I love her she says to uh 'Cause she's telling you know, shop talk with this guy about how Dr. Taylor didn't do it with her, so she's listing the important information that Matt will need for the rest of the movie to move on.
Richard: Uh but she says to him.
Richard: Now you gorgeous kid is You want to talk about dead bodies and your girlfriend.
Richard: So good.
Richard: doctor Taylor runs in to enlist the sheriff.
Richard: Uh because you know, he she's figured out his boss is evil because he tried to kill him.
Richard: Um, this does not go well, but I wanna point out that Sheriff, the Sheriff is reading Cop magazine, the Four Cops edition.
Richard: It's just as...
Jeffrey: Full of
Richard: Full of riot gear and camo copware stuff. It's so adorable.
Richard: Tries to go over the the sheriff's head.
Richard: By calling in the uh
Richard: The everyone's trying to call the National Guard. Always calling like the governor's office and He gets a gun to the head and it's like, Don't you do it, boy.
Richard: Uh we get to meet the helicopter. Matt takes the helicopter up. I think it's his dad that's the helicopter pilot. I love it.
Jeffrey: I love it. His dad is the helicopter.
Richard: Ha ha ha.
Richard: Um this is when Brian shows up.
Richard: Uh Brian Is um An actor who never did anything else, I don't think Think
Richard: Uh what is this kid's name? I forgot to introduce him. Patrick Collins.
Richard: Mm.
Richard: Yes, big shocker. This was his only credit. Um but he's the grandson of the old man, uh the keeper of Lord Chester. He's his grandson.
Jeffrey: He, of course, is
Richard: Of course, you know
Richard: uh hadn't shown up for many years and should have been visiting. He's a he's a bad boy.
Richard: He's also from the big city.
Richard: Um and he's gonna he's gonna come in and use his
Richard: powers of uh journalism. He's a journalist uh a uh investigative Investigating.
Jeffrey: Investigate investigator, yeah.
Richard: investigator, uh journalism, He's gonna use his powers to to cause problems and they w keep referring to him as a nosy jerk.
Jeffrey: He's got a big nose.
Jeffrey: Uh he does. He he is he is such he's got a big egghead or potato head, I guess, if he's a tater. Um he kinda looks like if if Mikhay Sawabe was like a big a big dork. Or not not not Mikhail Sawabe, I'm sorry, I got it mixed up.
Jeffrey: Um What's the guy I
Jeffrey: No, I'm losing all of my credit. Oh, sorry. This is um he's in Mikhail Swabi's movies.
Richard: Oh oh oh I messed it up. Yes. Um
Jeffrey: Um Lombar Lombardo Redici, is that it?
Jeffrey: He looks like him if he was a huge Nerd.
Richard: Oh man. He looks like he should have been in troll too.
Jeffrey: Oh yeah. Oh my god, was he? He looks like he looks like.
Jeffrey: He looks like the kid who goes, Oh my God.
Richard: Same stylist. Yes. D did Laura Gemzer do the costumes in Troll Two as well?
Richard: Yeah.
Richard: Oh my god, it's so fun. Um so Matt, Josie and Brian are gonna team up because of course Matt and Josie are trying to prove that these crawlers are crawling and you know they They're the ones who are uh trying to encourage Brian to investigate his His grandfather's uh untimely demise.
Richard: We find out from Doctor Pritzy that He says Doctor Kruger.
Richard: These plants are carnivorous.
Jeffrey: No.
Richard: Yep. Yep, yep.
Richard: Uh they're going to do They're going to do the big uh pursue the truth scene at night, they're gonna sneak around and get the the the frickin' evidence.
Richard: But uh Josie brings her kid brother and does not explain it at all.
Jeffrey: At all.
Richard: She does not say that.
Richard: At all, for any reason why her little brothers there not Mom couldn't take care of'em.
Richard: Mom's at work. Nothing. Just just shows up with the kid. It's so funny.
Richard: There's a moment where the kid the little brother says, I thought you said this was gonna be fun Minutes later he goes, I'm scared, I want to go home when nothing has happened.
Jeffrey: Forget it kid. It's a film Mirage film.
Richard: Uh Uh they end up at the old man's trailer home.
Richard: And this is when the sheriff gets'em. But what happens when Sheriff tries to uh Assert his authority.
Jeffrey: I he has some really great dialogue here. I think I wrote down one part where he says, Ha ha ha. Let's see if I can find out what to do with you.
Jeffrey: And then the twigs go up his mouth and out his eye. Oh boy, it's a real Knight of the Demon esque death scene.
Jeffrey: Um like trailer shaken.
Jeffrey: Him doing some good dying groans.
Jeffrey: It's the best piece of it's well, let's let's be honest, it's the only real piece of gore in this movie.
Jeffrey: Um and it's a good one.
Richard: It's a good one.
Richard: It's an actual set piece.
Jeffrey: He he does have to like hold the makeup prosthetic like to his face. Um it's fine. It it makes sense in universe.
Richard: After that they are trying to go save people in the town.
Richard: Uh my favorite moment is when Josie goes Josie goes with her little brother to save their mom, so they gather mom.
Richard: And sh they're not telling her really what's going on, they're just telling her to get dressed and get out of here.
Richard: And the moment she's alone trying to get dressed, mom goes Josie's back in town.
Jeffrey: Mm-hmm.
Richard: So this kind of uh earth shattering insanity like happens, um Every time.
Richard: Uh they get the townspeople to to go after these these ding dang crawlers. We have a very funny scene of the town.
Richard: Gathering, we have a like a whole bunch of extras.
Richard: And then the Paula, the sex worker, shows up and there's all this judgment.
Richard: You can feel all the judgment. She's like, what?
Richard: What?
Richard: Like it's just so freaking awesome.
Jeffrey: Awesome. She's like, What? What? I've literally slept with no one in town.
Richard: I've made all your husbands cry.
Richard: So then the t the helicopter goes up, Dr. Taylor
Richard: And the the helicopter pilot, A.K.A. Matt's dad, go up.
Richard: And they find the the radiation barrels, which you can see from the air, so not hidden very well. No. and they end up landing just to check things out, big mistake.
Richard: Doctor Taylor who I really thought was gonna make it through the movie.
Richard: Ends up Dead?
Jeffrey: Well, you know, he can only run so fast.
Richard: I'm skipping the most important shit here. Holy fuck. Sorry.
Richard: They all meet up with Doctor Taylor by accident. He's hitchhiking after like running for his life again.
Richard: And they go to The plant, broad daylight, to confront doctor Kruger.
Richard: This scene, I can't believe I almost accidentally skipped this shit. This is like my favorite scene. This was the only scene I remembered. This was my second viewing of crawlers.
Jeffrey: Yes, mine too.
Richard: Yeah. So they confront Dr. Kruger in his office, And he's like
Richard: And they're like, No, you can't deny this. This is this is it. You're done. You're finished here.
Richard: And he does a you'll never take me alive, Coppers and he pulls out a gun.
Richard: And points at them.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: And it's he's cackling maniacally. This this actor's been menacing.
Richard: In his own way.
Richard: But now he's going full Jack Nicholson Joker Goofball.
Richard: Um and then he just slowly turns the gun on himself and no one does.
Richard: Anything.
Jeffrey: Nah, let it happen.
Richard: The the helicopter pilot guy is literally his jaw is dropped, and they keep showing a shot of him going.
Richard: And then he shoots himself and it's just glorious. And I'm like
Richard: And there's still twenty minutes of movie left. I'm like, wait a minute. Yeah.
Richard: You got rid of my sharp.
Richard: He got rid of my doctor Kruger who I didn't know as the secret MVP of the movie.
Jeffrey: Tell us where the site is for
Richard: For Christ's sake.
Jeffrey: Christ's sake.
Jeffrey: You might as well cooperate.
Richard: You want me to cooperate.
Jeffrey: Cooperate?
Jeffrey: Ha ha ha!
[Silence]
Richard: Ha ha ha ha.
Richard: HA!
Jeffrey: Ha ha ha!
Richard: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Jeffrey: Ha ha ha.
Richard: You can kill us, but you're never.
Jeffrey: But you're never gonna
Richard: Never gonna get away.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: Oh no!
Jeffrey: No. They're never going to get
Richard: Yeah.
Jeffrey: Me.
[Music]
Richard: And then then the townspeople gather And we have an absolutely wonderful Whoops, we were under prepared moment.
Richard: Where the townspeople are getting fucking owned by the crawlers. At first they're just digging
Richard: and finding the barrels and collecting the barrels and I wrote in my notes, these people are so fucked. No hazmat suits.
Richard: They're just in this area rolling touching everything and the crawlers are killing them.
Richard: This whole time Brian has been off because he was a quote unquote coward.
Richard: He wanted to take care of this problem the realistic way by like writing an article and exposing it and then getting the law involved and they're like, Oh you pussy, that's not gonna work.
Richard: The problem's now, and he's not technically wrong, but and their idea certainly wasn't working. But all of a sudden the m uh earth movers come rollin' in big old freaking engines going
Richard: uh pushing earth all over the place, getting these barrels, and then Brian comes out and has this big revelation where they're like
Richard: Brian, why are you helping us? We thought you weren't gonna help he goes I am one of you
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: Beautiful, beautiful stuff. Uh Lietta and I were sad by the uh the Earth movers because that's all you see in Florida.
Richard: It's just Swampland being bulldozed so we were triggered.
Richard: Hey, as long as it's good for the the bottom line of some real estate company, I'll be happy.
Jeffrey: Wow.
Richard: B and that's cr that's uh crawlers oh except for the Christmas scene.
Richard: So we fast forward.
Richard: After that's been solved, all the issues are solved.
Richard: Two.
Richard: Josie pregnant. She's decorating a Christmas tree. She's on the phone with somebody.
Richard: And she notices that the roots of her Christmas tree are moving.
Richard: And she turns out there's crawlers about the crawlers are coming in the window, freeze frame, VN.
Richard: What I love about this is I thought a crawler was gonna burst out of her belly and Oh no gonna be a dream sequence.
Jeffrey: Well, that's...
Richard: Because of witchery.
Jeffrey: Listen, that happens in troll four.
Richard: Okay, well I'll wait. I'll wait.
Richard: Other people involved in this film. The cinematographer is Gian Lorenzo Battaglia.
Richard: This guy worked on Popeye.
Richard: One of my childhood nightmare films.
Jeffrey: Nice.
Richard: Which I watched like twelve times as a kid. Yeah.
Richard: Uh but this guy shot demons.
Richard: He was a cinematographer on Uh he shot a blast fighter.
Richard: He shot formula firm right.
Richard: Murder?
Richard: The uh the half hour detective plot stretched out to an hour and forty minutes.
Jeffrey: That's lovely.
Richard: With uh David Warbeck. I don't know if you've seen it. No.
Jeffrey: No.
Richard: I think it's Alberto De Martino's worst.
Richard: cinematography and like the acting is fine, but they had no story.
Richard: It's so bad.
Richard: Okay, in its defense it's not an hour and forty minutes, it's an hour and thirty six. I take it back. Brutal.
Richard: I'm sorry that I went there.
Richard: But yes, we mentioned good old Carlo, Maria Cordia, oh he's wonderful.
Richard: Uh Joe D'Amato, of course, legendary guy of Italian horror.
Richard: You know, cinematographer and then maid.
Richard: Some of the sickest frickin' horror movies ever.
Richard: And then he very smartly abandoned horror to shoot pornography for the rest of his career.
Richard: Only popping up to produce And occasionally co-direct some very special films.
Richard: But let's see what else I don't think there's any trivia on this.
Jeffrey: Nah, I sort of uh used up all the trivia I had.
Richard: This has music from Ghost House and Hitcher in the Dark, apparently. Mm-hmm.
Richard: This is the only troll film not rated PG thirteen. That's interesting. Yeah.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: It's probably the almost sex work.
Richard: That's what did it. But yeah, so Why don't we talk about how we feel about this one, Jeffrey?
Richard: How has crawlers been treating you?
Jeffrey: Well, Richard, there are circumstances in which a man cannot drink enough.
Jeffrey: Controls the third is one of'em.
Richard: Um
Jeffrey: Oh both. The only thing I remembered was
Jeffrey: Boy, there sure is a lot of helicopter footage. They were so excited about having a helicopter.
Jeffrey: And that that bear down.
Richard: We downplay we downplayed the shit out of that stuff.
Jeffrey: I buried out in this viewing. It is a helicopter heavy film.
Jeffrey: Uh however, uh I did definitely enjoy it more.
Jeffrey: I do think the first half is stronger than the second. Um it it just it's it's a lot of like Running away from the very menacing.
Jeffrey: tw uh root systems and sticks in the second half, which uh uh Yeah. But um yeah, it's uh it's on the lower end of the film Mirage Canon for me, but that's that's still a recommendation. I mean you still gotta see.
Jeffrey: This film, why not? Uh nice. How do you like this one?
Richard: Um I love it. I love it. Um It would be one that I I pretty much totally agree with you on everything you said.
Richard: I just somehow got really wrapped up in all the character dynamics.
Richard: Like all of the romance stuff, all of the pushback that Josie gets for being a city gal.
Richard: uh from her her her ex slash current boyfriend.
Richard: The mild Love triangle between her and Brian and Matt is so funny.
Richard: But it's really the the the sheriff And Doctor Taylor and uh Doctor Kruger the the menace th from that shit.
Richard: It's just so frickin' funny. It it just carries a lot of weight with me.
Richard: The townspeople are always wonderful.
Richard: Uh this is just it it is dull though. Like this does have some dull shit in it.
Richard: Hi cheese.
Richard: And apparently um this is not hentai.
Jeffrey: No.
Jeffrey: I just walk. But it's it's like in the ballpark.
Richard: I just wanted to make that joke.
Jeffrey: Like this would work for someone who's into that, I think.
Richard: Uh but yes, all the all the acting, all the like uh non professional actors, you know, like Uh people they rounded up from local theater stuff, you know, troll two style.
Richard: promising them, you know, great careers if they did this low budget fucking movie.
Richard: So perfect. I just cracks me up. I love all that stuff.
Jeffrey: Uh Porterville City players.
Richard: Yep. Yep. The reperto the repertoire repertory theater.
Richard: Oh my god, I got a purr machine on my my frickin' shoulder here.
Richard: Folks, when you watch this video podcast on video, you'll see Cheese is now on the back of my chair.
[Music]
Jeffrey: So I do have a uh uh a recently seen in love.
Richard: Oh yeah that I was gonna start that.
Jeffrey: Well, I I I I wanna mention it because I feel like it's it's in league with this film.
Richard: And
Jeffrey: In that it is also about radioactivity and it's also a sequel. I recently watched Jack Frost 2, Return of the Radioactive Killer Snowman.
Jeffrey: See, that's the thing. I thought I'd seen it, but I think it's just because the box art is very similar to Jack Frost 1, which I'd seen quite a bit.
Jeffrey: And I had definitely never seen this one, and it was
Jeffrey: So funny. It's it's um I would say it is um
Jeffrey: Different from the first one in a lot of respects. It it it's uh it's uh shot on early digital so it looks it looks funny. Um it came out in I think nice I think it came out in two thousand, so it's like really unique looking. Um but the the Blu ray from MVD visual looks looks pretty good.
Jeffrey: And it is just wild. It is it turns into a base like it's set at a summer resort.
Jeffrey: Where uh the uh the sheriff from the first movie goes on vacation but is haunted by the memories of killing the the killer snowman who is not dead and in fact returns in many forms, including the fact that
Jeffrey: The second half of the movie is basically a a Gremlins movie, which I I can't even I don't wanna say anymore. You gotta watch this movie. It is The humor is legitimately funny.
Jeffrey: And not like in the
Jeffrey: uh usually not in like the the bad way that you would imagine early two thousands uh comedy would be. And it's just got so much action and so many varieties of action.
Jeffrey: and like bizarre, you know, goofy death scenes. Dude. This is like I'm not a big fan of like uh comedic gore horror movies at all, but this one I am because it's more cartoony
Jeffrey: Um, it's not just like, look how sick that is, isn't it funny? It's just like, ah yeah no, this is actually like a Looney Tunes cartoon.
Jeffrey: Uh but about a radioactive killer snowman?
Jeffrey: Uh strongly recommend. I like that one a lot.
Richard: Nice. That sounds great. I will actually watch that, especially since it is summertime while we're recording this. Boy howdy, is it summertime? Oh boy.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: The fact that the Jack Frost 2 takes place in summer is A okay.
Richard: I also have a summer movie for my recently seen and loved.
Richard: Uh this is an old favorite that gets better and better and better.
Richard: I'm talking of course.
Richard: About Hiroko the Goblin.
Richard: from our pal Shinya Sukamoto of the Tetsu the Iron Man fame.
Richard: Now Hiroko the Goblin takes place in the summer.
Richard: At a um a s a high school that's shut down for the summer.
Richard: Uh but there's some students milling about and the um
Richard: groundskeepers milling about. But what's happened is That somebody has opened up a portal.
Richard: to another uh dimension where this goblin named Haruko has been uh hidden away.
Richard: And now it's threatening to take over And there's a prophecy and it's up to a goofball archaeologist and uh a dorky high school kid to save the day.
Richard: And it's just So charming.
Richard: And so weird.
Richard: It's...
Richard: It might be a little bit more than a a lot of uh Sukamoto's work, but I've seen quite a few.
Richard: And I think this is his most normal.
Jeffrey: Mm-hmm.
Richard: Most normal, put that in quotes, moving.
Richard: And it's Bonkers.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: This legend is very intricate.
Richard: in the um incantations they have to read to p to put this thing back in its place. I don't know if any of this is based on real legends of Japanese folklore or if he just made it all up.
Richard: I suspect he just made all this shit up.
Jeffrey: Sounds like it's based on the very real legend of uh sorority girls in the slime ball bowl of rama.
Jeffrey: Yeah.
Richard: There's a it's very imp like, yes. Uh but yeah, there's lots of severed heads and crazy shit. Um
Richard: Highly recommend this. It's very summery, very sweaty.
Richard: uh just genuinely great all the way around and the big imagination of Sukamoto bringing this story to life.
Richard: This might have been a manga first.
Richard: But yeah, our summer solstice playlist.
Richard: You know, we try to pick the most summary things we can find.
Richard: And uh Like we'll watch this and we'll watch Hao Su, you know,'cause Hao Su is very summary.
Richard: Um we'll watch it.
Jeffrey: We'll watch
Richard: Summer school And we'll watch um Cheerleader Camp.
Richard: Which uh cheerleader camp Is that stuck on that old Anchor Bay DVD?
Jeffrey: Yeah. Has not made the jump yet.
Jeffrey: There must be an issue.
Richard: Yeah, it's Leaf Garrett's people.
Richard: But yeah, dude, um that's all I got.
Richard: I do feel a little crawly, so I think we should go.
Jeffrey: Uh, you know, Richard, just shut up and step on it.
[Silence]
Richard: All you talk about is Dead bodies in your girlfriend.
Richard: Bye folks.
[Music]
Richard: Thanks so much for listening to this episode.
Richard: If you'd like to write into the show, Send an email to Doomed Moviethon at gmail.
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Richard: Goto doomedmoviethon.com and click the podcast button for the archive.
Richard: Or go to YouTube.
Richard: And look up Doomed Movie Thon and you'll find The classic episodes.
Richard: Of Hello, this is the Doomed Show.
Richard: And if that's still not enough, um I have written some books, you know, about my love of movies.
Richard: Over on Amazon dot com.
Richard: Uh just look up Richard Glenn Schmidt and you'll find Giallo Meltdown, a movie thon diary.
Richard: Giallo Meltdown 2 Cinema Semnambulist.
Richard: Or Doomed Movie Thon The Book.
Richard: Hello, this is the Doomed Show as a proud member of the Legion Podcasts Network.
Richard: Goto Legionpodcasts.com and checkout the other great shows over there.
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