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Diagnosed with Complex Trauma and a Dissociative Disorder, Emma and her system share what they learn along the way about complex trauma, dissociation (CPTSD, OSDD, DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality), etc.), and mental health. Educational, supportive, inclusive, and inspiring, System Speak documents her healing journey through the best and worst of life in recovery through insights, conversations, and collaborations.
Welcome to the System Speak podcast, a podcast about dissociative identity disorder. If you are new to the podcast, we recommend starting at the beginning episodes and listen in order to hear our story and what we have learned through this endeavor. Current episodes may be more applicable to longtime listeners and are likely to contain more advanced topics, emotional or other triggering content, and or reference earlier episodes that provide more context to what we are currently learning and experiencing. As always, please care for yourself during and after listening
Speaker 2:to the podcast. Thank you. Oh my goodness, we love hearing from you guys, and you can email us at podcast@systemspeak.com. Orchid said, We listened to the plenary episode today, and wow, dang. That was awesome.
Speaker 2:We loved it. Cultural competency, inclusion, learned secure attachment, and that use added to make the four phase treatment model and all of it. Well done. We hope they truly heard use and will act on it. Lynn says, Hi, Emma.
Speaker 2:First of all, I want to say a big thank you for the podcast and all the things you have shared over the years. I started listening to your podcast when I was first diagnosed four years ago, and it has truly made a positive impact on my healing. I wanna send you so much love for that and for you to know how much it truly matters. Secondly, I'm thinking about starting a community for professionals with DID and OSDD focused on helping people in their professional life and challenges we face and how we can all turn what we have suffered into an advantage in being a system. Since you come in contact with people all the time, I would like to ask if that's something that you have come across as something would be needed or people have spoken of as missing.
Speaker 2:So what this makes me think of immediately is the refractory, but that is pretty clinician specific, clinicians with lived experience. There's also the Chrises who I have coached for a really long time. There's also Mars, I know, does some recovery coaching as well. And then there's also Crystals who does a certain kind of coaching. So maybe some of them would be people to talk to.
Speaker 2:They work with different people in different ways. I don't know if it's which pieces that you're specifically looking for, but I think any resources our community has would be fantastic. Amanda says, Hi. I want to say how proud I am of you. This podcast is literally getting me through right now.
Speaker 2:I don't have anyone. My son was given to my still legal husband who is absolutely terrible. I can't access therapy yet. I love my son more than I can describe. He's only eight, but he's my brightest light among a world of scary humans.
Speaker 2:I feel so alone. I don't have a cool professional therapist or even one person who understands what is happening to me. I'm so happy that you have the support that you do. I can't afford anything. I'm on disability for my anxiety in America.
Speaker 2:Well, let me tell you how much anxiety America gives me too. I've just moved into an apartment
Speaker 1:and it's the very first time I've ever been completely alone. Oh my
Speaker 2:goodness, that's so brave of you. That's completely alone. Oh my goodness, that's so brave of you. That's such a big deal. I wish I had a way to understand what's happening to me.
Speaker 2:It feels like I'm in a different life. I don't recognize myself, my old life. I'm walking through the life now, and I'm trying to figure out how to be an adult. I know how, but not really. You understand.
Speaker 2:You are an absolute inspiration. I'd love to join and find other people like me, but I can't for so many reasons. Everything you say makes so much sense. Every human interaction is awful even when it's not. Everyone leaves.
Speaker 2:That's what it feels like. Therapy seems to be for rich people and people living under poverty like me. It makes it really hard to participate. You have an incredible level of knowledge and support that I am extremely envious of, but it's helping me realize that maybe I was treated badly. Thank you.
Speaker 2:I am so sorry you were treated badly. And I learned all that I know by just listening and talking to people and reading books. So I know there's some privilege in some of that, which is why we've shared in the podcast because it's one way that we can support. And, I really, really just my heart goes out to you that life is so hard right now, and there's nothing I can say that would fix that or magically make it all better, I know. And also also, I really just wanna make sure you know that we're here, the community is here, we are happy to support you in those ways, and that we are cheering you on just as you cheered us on.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. Okay. Lexi shares this. I'd rather shy away from facing up to outside opposition, but I can easily overcome inside opposition and I'm so very persistent in my actions that it's always been hard for me to stop anything half way through. Ordinarily, that would be very unhealthy, but because I am responsible for safety and flight, I historically only pursued safety critical objectives, which is why my ability to monopolize front and persist is more like my superpower.
Speaker 2:I have learned that the basal ganglia, which apparently controls impulses, is home to two neighboring but separate mental muscles. One is to start and persist in an action, whereas the other is to suppress and desist from an action. Ironically, this shows up in that I am highly persistent in practicing to desist. That sounds like a care buster to me. We suspect our strength to suppress and desist atrophied because rather than a person suppressing their own impulse, eventually another one of us would simply take over front to start with and persist in doing something else, such that our
Speaker 1:suppress and desist fibers were
Speaker 2:rarely flexed until now. Suppress and desist fibers were rarely flexed until now. This mode of action is an eerie echo of our childhood dynamics or absence thereof and the underlying principle of the neuronal structures
Speaker 1:beyond neatly explaining a
Speaker 2:variety of peculiar imbalances and beyond neatly explaining a variety of peculiar imbalances in our behavior. From what the podcast tells me, yours and our upbringing were in some ways contrary. While you were cast into a narrow and twisted mold, we were spilled and left unguided. This is why I thought it might be interesting to you and if you choose to read parts of this, maybe other listeners to hear about my thus far insatiable appetite for news and reports and other trivia. While aimless and lethargic also seemingly obsessive and deeply troubled in many ways.
Speaker 2:While you are learning what to do to be happy, we're learning what not to do to be so. If you wonder how, with things being this extreme, we ever got anywhere in life, you're not alone. We wondered too until we saw when it began. We had just graduated from university and with all external structure eliminated from our day, it quickly spiraled out of control, first by minuscule tasks growing to monstrous proportions, later by inherently useless tasks firmly taking root. With hindsight, we can even see warning signs.
Speaker 2:We always had a tendency to get lost in tangents that weren't even fun, even if the main task was voluntary and nice. Rather than being genuinely disciplined and driven, we were simply persistent and couldn't stop and therefore carefully crafted our environment such as to be queued from one task to the next. If we had known what this means, why it is, and reflected diligently, we might have known how to solve many of the problems that have always plagued us. We might have known how to prepare seriously and in time for that brief period between university and what should have been our first employment. So I'm hearing- okay, I want to interrupt this for a second my new friend.
Speaker 2:I am hearing lots of shoulda coulda wouldas and that in this way, like, there's some shame for stuff that wasn't even your fault. It was developmental. Right? And then also, I am hearing, like, bargaining with the grief of the time you have lost, and so that is really painful, and my heart is so heavy for you. I think it was very brave of you to share with us, and I really appreciate hearing from you.
Speaker 2:They said, Thank you for your podcast, Emma. It has helped me and our many disjointed bits of knowledge by adding a wealth of wisdom. Best wishes. Oh, thank you so much for sharing. Multi Meze.
Speaker 2:Hey, Multi Meze. Multi Meze says, Dear John Mark, I listened to your sad with sad and that is okay. I think sometimes it's not our jobs to fix people. What do you think? I feel like it could be our responsibility and honor to love, to like, or to try to just sit with someone if and when they need.
Speaker 2:Maybe we all need to learn to forgive a bit more and ask for forgiveness too. It feels like if we acknowledge things that bother us, give it a voice, then we can begin to understand ourselves a little better. And if we understand ourselves better, maybe we can learn about others better too. My body is 57 years old, and I have to tell you, my friend, there has been many mistakes made in those years. But do you know what?
Speaker 2:In all of those years and mistakes, this body has done some good things too. Just like you and just like those who you know and love around you and within you. I am sorry you are hurting and trying to make sense of a world that doesn't make sense. I know that as you go, I think you will figure out a lot of things, especially who and how you are. Be proud because I think many of those who listen to your words are very privileged to hear them.
Speaker 2:Aw, thank you, Multi Maze. Lil writes, Hey, system speak. I have been wanting to reach out but ended up talking myself out of it a million times. I don't know why it's so hard, but I want to right now. I struggle to make friends and deal with humans in general.
Speaker 2:I just wanted to tell you all in a time where I cannot escape the darkness, you have been a light in my life. Your podcast, honesty, and at times vulnerability is an inspiration. You've given me hope, which is a new feeling. Y'all are unbelievably awesome. Thank you all the way from England where the breakfasts are pretty dope.
Speaker 2:England, you do have one of the best breakfasts in the world. You're not wrong. Lisa writes, About making lace, it is so tough to un daydream and unfawn. It makes for a messy time of growth. Thank you for once again bringing words to my experience, and yay to you for learning more about privacy.
Speaker 2:High five. Aww, thank you, Lisa. We miss you so much. Terry shares, I cannot relate to lace making even though I admire the diverse styles of those traditional art mostly by women and around the world over time, But I understand the analogy of weaving and Jenga, I do get it. I hate it and I've been playing it and I've started games over more than a few times at this point in my life.
Speaker 2:So I've put a lot of of pens in place. I intentionally fawn mostly because at the workplace, I have responsibilities, not just because my work pays the bills, but also because I take my responsibilities and my role in a company seriously. I might change jobs, but I will do my best for now and plan for a future of the company without me. It's not too different from raising children now that my responsibilities to them are changing as they become adults and must be responsible for themselves. And I must intentionally fawn for my partner because I'm further along in understanding dissociating.
Speaker 2:I know I have been abused at work and home and also I have my therapist or my protectors and I'm making my own decisions. My protectors, not overreacting yet still protecting me even as I am consciously fawning, is a skill that has been made possible by what I've learned from system speak, my own therapist, and my life path as a thorough nerd. Oh, I love this so much. I know that we shared at some point. I don't know when.
Speaker 2:Maybe it hasn't even aired yet, but we talk about this at some point that our therapist said that fawning or not fawning is too binary, that there are actually nuances there. She was like, there are times where fawning level one or level two or even level three may be even entirely appropriate and healthy and safe and not at all a bad thing. It's just what is unhealthy, I think, is not knowing we're doing it, not understanding why we're doing it, and sacrificing ourself in the process. But that low key level of accommodating or doing it intentionally because of specific circumstances, I think may be a different thing altogether. Like, everything is so much more nuanced.
Speaker 2:Remember when NTIS was like the only thing we could hold on to? And now there are so many things we can hold on to, and we know now time isn't always safe, but we can help make it safe enough, or when it's not, we have protectors enough to deal with it, to handle it, to respond to it, to keep ourselves safe enough, right? So this is a very similar thing. Thank you so much, Terry, for sharing. Kate writes, I listened to, if you know, you know, yesterday, always enjoying hearing about Women Who Run with the Wolves.
Speaker 2:I remember the book group about it a long time ago. I haven't touched it since, but hearing about it again makes me want to read some chapters of it. It is coming nice and slow and gentle, but it is coming. Thank you, Kate. Mars writes, Transference.
Speaker 2:I have been mulling over the things about transference ish in the episode with that name. I am hoping to check out a couple of things with you, podcaster, psychologist, writer, person, in case something new might come from this exchange. When I started my journey as a client, I learned about transpersonal psychotherapy. Keep in mind that counseling was introduced to me through a spiritual community, one that was interfaith and one that is now critically described as pseudoscience. The way I understood that perspective at the time when I was a teenager was inspired by a sense of divine wholeness.
Speaker 2:I understood the point of therapy to be a movement toward divine wholeness where I could explore what blocked me from my greatest good and move toward the greatest good through practicing helpful attitudes and choices. In this framework, my therapist was primarily a witness for my healing. Her role was modeling wellness, caring for my process, and encouraging me. Also, the only diagnosis I received was adjustment disorder. So transference felt to me like the middle space between what I longed for in my life and the longing showed up in the therapy room between us, and I understood the ultimate goal, completion, termination, finishing, achievement, to be an endpoint where I live what I long for.
Speaker 2:Wait. Let me read that again. The middle space between what I longed for, the longing show up in the therapy room, and the goal being living what I long for. Here's what's interesting about that, is that you're already living what you long for. Like, I understand what you mean about, like, that coming to fruition or, like, the fad right now is manifesting.
Speaker 2:Right? It's a similar thing. But or and also if you are living with a longing and also longing for wow. Okay. And I know I'm there when my therapist is unnecessary as a witness because I internalize the witness.
Speaker 2:Okay. That sounds like Mary Poppins or Nanny McPhee. Now that you want me, you don't need me anymore. Which gets really complicated and really tricksy there. They said, It's not exactly accurate as I reread what I've just written because many insiders would like me to say more, say it differently.
Speaker 2:In the interest of simplifying my note here, I would acknowledge there's much more to say than I have just said. Well done noticing and acknowledging all the shirts. They said, how I feel when I'm experiencing transference has since then related to my prayer life. It's an inner safe place with connection to my spiritual strength. An inner safe place with connection.
Speaker 2:Do you mean because your spiritual strengths are what you have longed for that now you're able to do? I just want to make sure I'm understanding. The gap between what I have now and what I want to have through my effort frequently shows up as longing. Okay, so I'm just taking this as a sentence at a time. That right there feels really super slippery to me in that you're having to earn what you need, which can be traumatic.
Speaker 2:Like it's different and as an adult, like I'm an adult so I have to go to work every day so that I can pay my rent and buy food for my children. That's appropriate earning. But I don't have to earn drinking water, which is partly privilege, I know, in America. I don't have to earn like this really is tricksy. It's now time and memory time and adults and childhood.
Speaker 2:All of that is going to be very different what you just said. Because the gap between what I have now and what I want to have through my effort showing up as longing, that can sometimes be about adult responsibility to meet our own needs. But that gap sounds traumatic. That gap sounds like deprivation to me the way I'm reading it. So then you said when that longing feels overwhelming, and deprivation is overwhelming, I get clues to what my system is needing and wanting.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. What I am grieving. What I am healing. Where I am unintentionally self harming.
Speaker 2:Where I am reenacting. Oh, this is so powerful, Mars. I don't know how to be a client without a primary relationship with divine presence. And I utilize transference as my primary language. I utilize transference as my prime everyone does.
Speaker 2:Everyone uses transference as their primary language because we're humans, and we are designed, wired, built, however you want to say it, for connection. And trauma and deprivation are relational wounds. And so relational healing comes through relationship, which brings about transference. And so I think that what you're saying makes perfect sense. It's the mode of communication with the source of my healing.
Speaker 2:So they said, where the line is between transference, projection, romantic love, new relationship energy, and other related big fields becomes quite confusing, especially during peak spiritual experiences. So I think I just wanted to say that too. Your your emails are not too many words. So what we said in response to this is that transference is giving someone else what you are feeling, so they experience it. This happens unconsciously.
Speaker 2:They experience your experience. Projection is taking your feelings out on someone else instead of where they really are in response to. It happens preconsciously with the wrong person. So the wrong person thing is a little like displacement, but projection is if you think of transference as someone else is experiencing what your experience is, and projection is like you're putting it on them so you can see it. But when we do transference, we usually are not aware of it.
Speaker 2:So we're not seeing it in the other person. They are experiencing it. With projection, they're not necessarily experiencing it, but we can see it on them. Does that make sense? And then romantic love, someone bringing out feelings in you that help you love yourself and feeling safe enough to also love them, which can include a positive transference but is not always sexual.
Speaker 2:New relationship energy actually is specific to your own growth and often is a cyclical experience in relationships that comes and goes through the sharing of experiences and new development and new growth. And then other big feelings are your own feelings, usually conscious and expressed or not, in the moment even if they're from now time. And then we added to that emotional flashback, are your feelings from memory time showing up usually without context in now time and often, but not always, in connection relational experiences. Did all of that make sense? That was a lot.
Speaker 2:I feel like we could talk about this some more. Giselle writes, about Molly's shelf. I've been listening to the podcast from the beginning, and it's been largely an amazing resource for me. I'm wondering if I should continue to listen or not just based on some episodes episodes that have come hard against an overgeneralized stereotype of the church. I understand that you may have been involved in some institutions that I likely would also disagree with, But it sounds like you've moved on from expressing it was your previous denominations to just stereotypical prejudice.
Speaker 2:If that's the case, I obviously can't listen. On one hand, I believe you should receive healing and therapy from cultish Christian claiming communities. On the other hand, I'm like, woah. My church is nothing like what you describe, and I feel discriminated against and hated on and stereotyped. God literally saved and transformed my life.
Speaker 2:Without God, I would be dead. So I know you want to unfawn and live your truth, but you also say you stand against prejudice. So maybe you didn't notice that's what you're doing. Anyway, I wouldn't say anything, but I feel like this became my favorite resource for DID, and it's not like you started out on this trip. It's kind of like I was love bombed with an amazing resource in a way, then completely switched up on and discriminated against in the same podcast a half year into listening since I started at the beginning.
Speaker 2:I know that wasn't your intention, but I think it's worth to bring it up. And you make me sad to think you may have been taught incorrect doctrine, and that's why you never had that real and precious experience with God. There's nothing like that. It makes me sad to think you received a deluded cultist version and now are prejudiced toward God and Christians. Anyway, all this I hope you receive in a compassionate way and just see your Christian listeners didn't leave just because you're gay, but how you felt your church started treating you, you started treating us.
Speaker 2:I'm here waiting to see if that's gonna remain. I hope not, but I think it's pretty lame to go on like that. Wow. Okay. So I did reply to them privately.
Speaker 2:And, also, I just wanna say, while the episode Molly's Shelf really was very emotionally intense and overly direct, it absolutely only spoke to my personal experience of my own story from both memory time and now time issues. I am not stereotyping all Christians, nor do I mean to be prejudiced against them. I was only sharing my own experiences, and I have absolutely had religious trauma, and think that there is no version of God that my experience of religious trauma is consistent with. And I think that my faith is very different from abuse that happened to me. So for me, I've actually worked really, really hard to distinguish these things.
Speaker 2:I've read a lot of books. I've done a lot of therapy. I do not at all mean it over generalized to the church generally. I mean it specific to my experience. So I am really happy that you are someone who has faith and has been enjoying a safe and healthy relationship with God and church the way you've experienced and understand it, and I think that's amazing.
Speaker 2:That is not the same as what I've been through. And so I agree with you the way you said Christian claiming communities. So even if we're using the Christian story of who God is, the things I have experienced are not congruent with that. They are not consistent with that. And so I don't at all mean to stereotype that all churches are like that.
Speaker 2:I meant specifically the church that I have been in the last ten years, the experiences I went through, and the shiny happy years before that. And even in the context of all of that, not everybody was bad or trying to harm me. Like, I can hold space for the good. So for example, I've had my friends from college on the podcast. They also went through shiny happy trauma with me.
Speaker 2:Right? They witnessed that. They endured that. They experienced that with me. And, also, they are good people that I have kept in my life.
Speaker 2:In the difficult years of the last decade of some of that shiny happy trauma being appropriated by other organizations or other churches, within that context, there are people who tried really, really hard to support me and my family in the ways that they could in a hundred different ways. And I love those people, and I have a heart for those people. And there are other people who were in different churches altogether than what I went through and yet understand because our experiences of religious trauma were so parallel. And I appreciate them because they understand what I have been through in their own way even though our stories are different. And many of those people can separate can separate their own faith from the experience they that they have been through.
Speaker 2:And with the gay piece, I have had some really amazing emails that have come into the podcast that have given information for really good resources and really safe churches for those who are in LGBT community, and not just in Christian religions, but others as well, but also in Christian churches that there are some safe places for them. And I really appreciate that, and I appreciate having resources to share. I appreciate having goodness to share. But anything that is healthy, any system that is healthy, holds space for me to also see what is not. And I really think even if we're using the Christian story and that Christian framework, that it really is taking god's name in vain to do any kind of abuse in the name of god.
Speaker 2:Like, that is in vain. That is not of goodness. That is not of kindness. That is not of growth or spiritual progression to abuse people. And so I think seeing that clearly is actually really, really important and part of me developing a more mature faith in whatever shape that that takes me.
Speaker 2:And I'm okay standing by that. I do want to be gentle with people, and sharing on the podcast sometimes is really difficult because because I am only speaking to my experience. I can't speak to other people's experiences. But I also know and frequently say on the podcast, like, you do you, boo. Like, I know that everyone has different experiences, and it's part of what makes the world such a beautiful place.
Speaker 2:And I'm okay with that. And, also, I don't think I have ever at any period of my life been limited by the expressions of faith limited by a particular expression of faith. I studied Hebrew since I was seven years old. I grew up with friends who were Muslim and Buddhist, and I studied Catholicism and Judaism in college and in grad school. I have good close friends who are pagan or who celebrate nature and just the cycles of life in beautiful and safe ways.
Speaker 2:And I think any one of those categories, not to mention a hundred others, absolutely have had people in them that abuse others, but I don't think you can blame an entire faith system or people of faith on those abusive behaviors. That's a perpetrator specific thing and sometimes systemic problems related to it. But I think there are lots of different beautiful and amazing people in the world who all bring different pieces of that truth in there. And even, again, going back to the context and framework of Christianity itself, even for me, that has sometimes come through poetry or the wrestling of nature and God and life and death. And I mean that really simply, like, even through the poetry of Emily Dickinson and through the study of stories, like with the Clarissa book, with the women who run with the wolves, or my own personal studies, not just of sacred texts or scriptures, but also the writings of different faith and spiritual leaders and poets and writers.
Speaker 2:And I just really think I just really think that what matters for me and my healing right now is that I am able to speak my truth. I am able to appreciate beauty and goodness. I am able to recognize what is of god and what is not, and I am able to acknowledge my need for a higher power greater than myself, that not only can I not do it all, I never should have had to? So it's really tricksy because I hear the pain and distress and fear in this email, and I really want to tend to it. And also, I think I was speaking really explicitly and specifically to my own experience and gave really specific examples of my own very personal experiences, and that's what Molly's shelf episode was about.
Speaker 2:And when I say the church, like, I don't mean the whole church in all the world. I mean, my family's specific church we go to or shiny happy church that we've been to. Like, I really am referencing just my own personal experiences. And even though Molly's shelf was an episode that absolutely was very specific in content and very targeted in expression, I don't think I was targeting people. I think I was targeting my own feelings and emotional responses to what I have been through and to what I have endured.
Speaker 2:And I think that takes courage, and I think that that takes truth telling in a way that is really important, especially if you wanna maintain any kind of faith. Because there's a difference between faith and pretending. There's a difference between faith and daydreaming, and there's a difference between faith and blindfolding. And so it's really, really important to me and in my healing to see clearly and to speak my truth and to tend to those experiences that have caused harm even in the context of the church. And even when we're talking about stories or examples that are not even necessarily malicious, it's still not healthy if I am not able to acknowledge my own pain.
Speaker 2:So being able to acknowledge my pain is where healing happens. And, really, if you want to talk about the atonement, or if you want to talk about the Savior, or if you want to talk about Jesus, that's where healing happens. But healing can't happen if we don't acknowledge the wounds. So I wanna tend to your big feelings. I'm sorry it feels like a betrayal when I shared Molly's shelf episode, and also betrayal was what I was feeling.
Speaker 2:So I think you felt what we were trying to express, but I did not mean it in an accusatory way. I meant it in a it's not my secret way. And so I can let that go. I can move forward. I have moved forward and continued my healing in my life, and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2:But I can't move forward if I just stuff it down. So it's really important that I look at those pieces and heal those pieces. I don't think that I was hating on anything because that is not okay with me. If I was hating on anything, I do think I had feelings of violation and anger and betrayal for having been harmed and neglected and lied to. And I think that anger is an appropriate response to that.
Speaker 2:And that's been really hard but has been held in and wrestled with for a really long time. And expressing it was really, really healing, even if not generalized to the whole church generally or any church generally, specifically to me and my experiences, that is really really all I was responding to. And if you are a person of faith and consider yourself a Christian, then I think one thing we agree on would be God being depicted and represented accurately. And these examples of culture or abuse where that is not what's happened or harm is caused or God is used as an excuse to hurt people, that's just not okay. And that's just not okay.
Speaker 2:I have on my book, one of the writers that I really love and appreciate is Joan Chidester, who's Catholic actually, but she wrote a book about the Lord's Prayer called In Search of Belief, and she says, Love is response to goodness. Love we grow into a little at a time as the goodness of life becomes more and more apparent. Love, we learn if we live long enough, hovers in the hollows of life looking everywhere for the one who is everything. Faith is a perpetual journey to more. Hope stands rooted in the certainties of a future hinted at by the past, but yet unaccomplished.
Speaker 2:Hope whispers within us like a soft, steady draft of daylight that what we believe in, we shall attain. Hope leads us around dark corners looking for the grace of the moment, confident that God's will for us is good. I cannot be confident that God's will for me is good when the only father I know is one who's hurt me if I only know pain from parents and only know harm from those who represent God? So it's actually really, really important. I tend to these hard pieces and really, really important I continue doing so respectfully but authentically.
Speaker 2:This author continues, we nourish hope on memory, knowing that we have always had in the past whatever it was that we needed in order to survive, to endure, to see, to be more than we ever thought we could become. We claim the right to expect it in the future. If I believe in God the creator, then I must hope in this God's commitment to the internally ongoing process of creation. I am not born finished. I do not live whole.
Speaker 2:I do not die complete. There must be more. I place my trust on the fact that, indeed, everything is bigger than I am, that there is so much more to know, that I'm living in a world which only thirty years ago was science fiction and today is fact. We are only punctuation marks in time. At the same time, we are full of a life that refuses to die, endures through pathetically weak, and endures, and manages to find the human condition infinitely funny.
Speaker 2:We who are worth being born must be worth being brought to fullness. If there was any prejudice in the words I shared in Molly's shelf, it was prejudice against harm and bias against abuse and obstinance against evil. Thank you for listening. Your support of the podcast, the workbooks, and the community means so much to us as we try to create something together that's never been done before, not like this. Connection brings healing, and you can join us on the community at www.systemspeed.com.
Speaker 2:We'll see you there.