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Humans of the Northern Beaches: We Belong is a podcast amplifying diverse voices from Sydney’s Northern Beaches. Hosted by local community leaders, each episode takes you on a journey through personal stories that delve into identity, culture, migration, disability, food and the profound connections that bind our community together.
Join us as we celebrate the stories that unite us all and discover how these narratives can inspire meaningful change in our own lives. Subscribe now and be part of a movement that embraces diversity and fosters community spirit.
All views and opinions expressed by participants in this podcast belong to the participants and do not reflect the views of Northern Beaches Council.
Hi, and welcome to the Humans of the Northern Beaches We Belong podcast, the show that gives a voice to a diverse range of community members here on the Northern Beaches in Sydney, Australia.
Speaker 2:We wish to acknowledge the traditional custodians on the lens on which we are recording this podcast and show our respect to the elders past and present and any aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people listening in.
Speaker 3:This podcast is proudly funded by the New South Wales government through the New South Wales Social Cohesion Grants for Local Government. All views and opinions expressed by participants in this podcast belong to the participants and do not reflect the views of Northern Beaches Council.
Speaker 1:Hi, everyone. Welcome to We Belong podcast series. I am Maria, and today I have a very special guest with me, Vina. She moved to Australia from India at 20 to be with her husband, leaving behind her family, friends, and the life she knew. Her journey of belonging has been filled with challenges, growth, and self discovery.
Speaker 1:Today, we will explore some of these things. So welcome, Vina. Thank you. Thank you for having me here. So let's start with some quick fire questions to get to know you a bit better and and understand your life and what's your life living on the Northern Beaches looks like these days.
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:So you can choose one or the other. Okay. Mandy or Palm Beach? Oh, Palm Beach. Definitely.
Speaker 1:Beach or bush? Beach. Okay. Bay Line or the ferry? Ferry.
Speaker 1:Of course. That was easy.
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Waringa Mall or Warriwood Square?
Speaker 4:Neither. I hate shopping. Waringa Mall probably.
Speaker 1:Yes. Or maybe some local
Speaker 4:Yeah. Shops. Street side shops, village shops. Yes.
Speaker 1:Small boutiques. Yeah. Mhmm. Coffee or tea? Coffee.
Speaker 1:Early bird or night owl?
Speaker 4:Bit of bird. Some nights, spontaneous. Some nights are late nights. Some are early when I need to be up. So yeah.
Speaker 1:It's good that you can choose. Emu or kangaroo? Tough question, kangaroo. Give me one thing that you can't live without.
Speaker 4:Coffee. Coffee.
Speaker 1:I agree. And my family. What's your go to go comfort food?
Speaker 4:Oh, interesting question. Probably probably Indian. I'll probably go for my very simple rice and dal. Easy. I can make it in a flash and it's nutritious.
Speaker 4:So yeah. Easy.
Speaker 1:Summer or winter?
Speaker 4:Well Oh, a tough question. I'm changing in my younger days. I loved summer. But I'm going now. No.
Speaker 4:I like winter better. I do not like my skin getting so hot in summer.
Speaker 1:I'm wondering when we are referring to summer and winter, are you thinking of the Northern Hemisphere or the Southern one? When you say winter.
Speaker 4:I guess Australian winter's good. That's enough. Yeah. That's enough. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Sweet or savory? Savory. Do you have a favorite coffee shop?
Speaker 4:You know, the challenge is I haven't found anything that I absolutely love with food in my local area. I often tend to think of the Curl Curl Beach Cafe for my coffees. But it's a little bit far. So usually, I'll go down to a shop in Killarney which is quite nice.
Speaker 1:Okay. So city life or countryside? Bit apart. Bit of both. Have you lived in the city and the countryside as well?
Speaker 4:I've lived in small towns and little villages in my younger days. I like northern beaches because you have the bush and the city. So, yeah, it's a good balance we have.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Exactly. What is your favorite way to relax after a long day? I I like watching a bit of telly at
Speaker 4:that time or the beach. I like to go to Kulka. That's my favorite beach to walk. Eating out, I like good food. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And favorite spot on the northern beaches? You mentioned a couple of times, Kirkur Beach. Yeah.
Speaker 4:It is Kirkur. Kirkur, Freshii, they do it for me. Great.
Speaker 1:Alright. Thank you. It was really great to hear about these little choices that you make throughout your everyday life probably. But I would like to hear more about how would you introduce yourself.
Speaker 4:Okay. So I the thing that comes to my mind is I work as a inner work facilitator, coach, and I support individuals to get their abilities back in life, restore their authentic self, and have the opportunity to rebuild deep connection and love and romance in their partner relationships. So that's how I see myself. But I'm also a mom and a wife and a daughter and a sister. So, yeah, I wear a few hats and I love all those areas of my life.
Speaker 1:Alright. So you mentioned inner work kind of. What is inner work?
Speaker 4:It's it's a very powerful form of growth work, you know, like the personal development work. In simple terms, I guess, it's becoming aware of our thoughts, feelings, and our patterns. Often, we identify with them as us, but this identity is usually shaped by our experiences, challenges from our childhood, and trauma, whatever we carry throughout our life and the belief system, which is not necessarily us, but we identify them as us. So inner work is a process of deep gentle exploration through these layers which leads to transformation beyond imagination where we can reach our true self. I think some people call it the higher self.
Speaker 4:True self, authentic self, higher self, all means the same to me. So it's a process of reaching that and allowing to repair and reset so we can come back to being whole and complete in ourselves.
Speaker 1:Wow. That sounds very interesting, Vina. And you made me really, really curious now, and I probably would like to know more about this. But I would also like to know why did you wanted to be part of this podcast?
Speaker 4:I guess there are many reasons. First, I'm very grateful for this opportunity to share my story because my work is driven by unique stories that individuals bring to me. I can't help them to sort through these stories and find the gems of wisdom they have and they're made up of. It's like, for me, it's like an uncut diamond. I help them to cut and polish so they can shine, and they can become their true selves.
Speaker 4:So this opportunity to share my story and connect with people makes it very exciting for me to to be here.
Speaker 1:And what would you hope to accomplish?
Speaker 4:I guess for me, this has been with me for a very long time. From the time I was eight years of age, I was yearning to see people happy. I came from a very loved family. My parents were very committed to five children, but they have their own stresses that life brings. So I grew up seeing conflicts in their life.
Speaker 4:My siblings were a lot older. So anywhere I saw there were challenges in relationships, for me, there was a part of me that always said, hey. This is not how relationships are meant to be, especially with the partner husband and wife relationships. I always knew there was something else, something bigger, something more meaningful to have, and it was available for all of us to have. So that's been driving my whole decisions in my life and the paths that I took to find.
Speaker 4:So I guess I like to see individuals thrive. I like to see them move from struggling in life to being challenged in life because challenges are exciting and life throws challenge at every step of the way. And when we work at this deep level through the work I do and I offer people, the change is huge, Maria. It's massive. You solve problems.
Speaker 4:You learn to solve life problems, but you also have more energy physically and emotionally. There's less less stress, overwhelm, and worries. So this is like the balance. It's realigning and coming back to who we are, but it opens up so much more like creativity, joy. I find that the more I did this work, my energy levels were a lot higher.
Speaker 4:I could do twenty hour days and still have energy for the next day. And it came because I was dealing with less emotional drama, struggle, you know, the unspoken conflicts we feel with people as well, you know, in in communities, in workplaces. There's this level of, oh, whatever. I'll go along. Those things really chunk away our joy in some ways.
Speaker 4:So to be able to help people to have that change is, like, very exciting, and I love that part of my work.
Speaker 1:I bet you heard very interesting stories, and your story is very interesting as well. And as we mentioned earlier, you traveled from India when you were young, and now you live on the Northern Beaches. How do you feel living on the Northern Beaches?
Speaker 4:Oh, I love the Northern Beaches. It's just perfect for me. I'm an introvert. I like being at home. I'm a homebody.
Speaker 4:So my work is mainly from home, and I have lots of connection with people. But Northern Beaches offers everything you need. The peace, the quiet, the bush, the nature, the beaches, you know, and lovely people. I have some amazing people that I've met and friends that I've met here. So, yeah, it's quite special.
Speaker 4:Oh, that's good to hear.
Speaker 1:But I'm sure like everything else, there are challenges as well. So what are your biggest challenges living
Speaker 4:here? I really can't think of anything. The only thing I talk about food a lot. You'll see. Food and coffee matters.
Speaker 4:Right? So the only challenge I have is that there's not as many food opportunities as in the Inner West. So I don't understand why businesses from the Inner West are not moving to the Northern Beaches to support us. That's the only problem, Maria.
Speaker 1:That's a problem. Well, we I think a few of us share this this video. But you live in a wonderful community, as you mentioned. What are you proud of as a community member?
Speaker 4:I think it is such a open, supportive community. Like, for example, I'm part of this Northern Beaches mom's Facebook group. It's so touching. Anytime I go and have a look, if there's a mom needing support or help with children, they're overwhelmed. I hear absolute stranger moms.
Speaker 4:Never met these people offering help. They say, hey. I'll have a coffee with you. Your children can play with my life. It's absolutely magic.
Speaker 4:It's like what's the saying? It takes a village to raise a child. It feels like it's a big village raising community. So I'm I'm very proud of this community.
Speaker 1:That's very good to hear. But is there anything that you would like to see as change in the community?
Speaker 4:I think the biggest change I would like to see is individuals reaching out and use the supports and the connections that are in the community. This is like, you know, the only thing we need to learn in life is to ask. It's a life skill. So many of us think we need to be independent, and we need to do everything ourself. But if we kinda let that go, there's just so much available for people to have, give, and take.
Speaker 4:It's important for individuals to not stay in difficult situations and in isolation, especially if you're struggling with challenges in life emotionally or coping with external situations. We kinda go into hiding when we're faced with difficulties. It's that time that we should reach out, get connected, and ask for support, and make those things happen in our lives. You know, we all face difficulties in life, and the same challenges are experienced in different ways. Everyone experiences difficulties in their own unique way.
Speaker 4:And often people think, oh, no one will understand me. My problems are huge. And it's not true. We are all able to show empathy, help each other, and understand, you know, one thing that stands out is when there is a natural disaster or when we think of wanton countries, we all feel for each other, people that we've never seen or met, like just even this cyclone in Queensland. Yeah.
Speaker 4:So You know, we're all reaching out to people and going, are you okay? What do you need? So I think it's like being open to it, knowing there is community, knowing there are people, friends who will hold for us. And it's an opportunity to conquer our difficulties of asking for help and becoming more of ourselves. It's like a transformation then.
Speaker 4:That's when we start to become a butterfly from a cater pillar, I think. So beautiful. I
Speaker 1:completely agree that we are there for each other, and we should be more aware of this. But I would also be interested in how do you do practically? How do you practise that change?
Speaker 4:I guess for me, it's it comes a lot comes from sharing. I think one of the I love sharing. I love to share my feelings. My life revolves around that. That's the key to the heart of all my relationships.
Speaker 4:My children, my extended families, and my husband too. Our level of communication is at such a high level now. I think we have nailed it almost. Before, I used to fall off the surfboard a lot. Mhmm.
Speaker 4:I couldn't ride the wave. But as I started to do this work, I started to stay on the waves a lot longer. And now we stay on the wave for a very long time. We're experienced surfers in relationship. But to me, it's like start to open, you know, be open to your own thoughts and feelings.
Speaker 4:And often before we look outwards, if we just bring it back and say, what are we truly feeling? You would be able to know and see that feeling and name it. You know? That's when the change begins. Then you can tweak it.
Speaker 4:I must admit, I'm a reformed people pleaser. Before I did this work, I was terrified of losing friends and family. I didn't want to rock the board. I didn't want to be not nice, And I was losing things anyway. I was feeling uncomfortable.
Speaker 4:I would find problems, and the problems were there. But I didn't know how to handle because I was a people pleaser. I'm I'm definitely not that anymore. So this has really, like, now helped me to tweak challenges with loving kindness to others while I take care of my own spiritual, emotional needs as well. And this is really wonderful for people in my life.
Speaker 4:They too kind of it's it's very organically growing, isn't it? When one person changes, people around us change. It's like you create a vacuum. You go up in your communication, then the other person starts to do the same. It's like that exchange of love or respect we have, the more we love.
Speaker 4:It comes back too. So, yeah, this is my practice, my daily practice. Very early in my life, I did some journaling when I started this work. Especially during COVID time, I was able to help a lot of people to journal to the tee. I mean, it is an art.
Speaker 4:To get that right is is absolutely important. It's not about the book or the journal or the nature or the view. It's being able to lean into the confront of the feelings and get to the eye of the storm. Is that the word here? Or or the bull's eye.
Speaker 4:When you hit that point, then this truth kicks in for us, and we are starting to liberate. So yeah.
Speaker 1:Fascinating to listen to you, Vina, and I really like that similarity with the surfers and the waves. Thank you. So just following on this, what advice would you give to our listeners that you wish somebody would have given to you?
Speaker 4:I would have to go into my story here. I would have to say, if I can transform my life, you can and anyone can. It's like fog clearing. It's like being able to look at life and situations from our inner wisdom. For me, where I traveled, I was at the complete rock bottom in my life.
Speaker 4:I came here from India with my first partner, my husband, and it didn't work out. So we ended up separating, divorcing. But we share a daughter, and we have a very beautiful, loving friendship now. He is there for me anytime I need anything, and I would do that for him. So very grateful.
Speaker 4:And my second marriage was just as challenging when I started. And that's when I began to do the introspection. It's like, hey, what is really going on here? What am I doing or not doing for these situations to occur? Certainly, my cultural background would have had an impact.
Speaker 4:Not for a minute taking that away or the environmental effects, but I was still the key person in this. So this is when I started to get my abilities. I enrolled in a weekend workshop. It was very simple. Someone said it's a communication course, and I enrolled thinking, oh my god.
Speaker 4:I need to learn to speak. But where I landed was just absolutely magical. That weekend was my transformation. I kind of went, ah, this is how you're meant to live life. So I
Speaker 1:moment.
Speaker 4:Yeah. It was just beautiful, Maria. I learned some basic concepts of life that I needed. And that was what I think gave me what I already had in me. So if I had to give a piece of advice, it's to really say to people, don't throw away what you know about yourself.
Speaker 4:There are points in our life we can look back and go, hey. I did that. I succeeded. I made that decision. I followed my heart.
Speaker 4:And all of those points in our life brings us to excitement. I think it's so important to see that and and hold on to that. But, you know, there is pressure. There's so much pressure in the way we live. We all get sucked into this, the social pressure, media, and there's bombarding messages of war all the time.
Speaker 4:This I I laugh when I look at social media, you know. It puts out so many unattainable goals for everyday people. You see people in fancy cars doing so many wonderful things, but it doesn't give you the backstory where that person might have worked for fifty five years to make something happen. And then makes people think instant gratification. You know, I want it all tomorrow and leaves you totally feeling like you're not good enough, putting you in comparisons.
Speaker 4:So it's to not let those things, you know, to know the difference, to become aware of the impact of that so we can start to live with acceptance of who we are and find that. So, yeah, that's basically, in an actual, my advice. I think it was quite long, Maria.
Speaker 1:That was a great advice, but probably I would move now to a more practical level. So what would be that one action that you would like the listeners to take after listening, this podcast?
Speaker 4:Thank you. I don't think I have one. I have three. I like to talk as I told you before. So one, obviously, if you want to have some fun, learn some things, work with me.
Speaker 4:I offer some programs for people, especially for people who wanna change relationships, have fun, deep intimacy. I run workshop for that and individual sessions. The other is even the smallest action is to acknowledge what you're facing in your life, what challenges you're facing, and where are you not doing well. Becoming aware of that is almost like healing. Like, there's an author called Joseph Murphy, and he talks about subconscious mind.
Speaker 4:In in his book, Subconscious Mind, he says 51% of acknowledgment of the problem is healing. So, you know, it's okay to acknowledge. Just that is plenty and never give up hope. Trusting your intuition, you know. It's like we have forgotten that aspect of us.
Speaker 4:Next time you wanna make a decision, check what you feel, what your intuition is, and then take advice from all these loving, good intention family members will, meaning family members. They don't know what you feel or want. But to trust what you know and and make those decisions. I mean, obviously, start with little decisions because it's like a muscle. Trusting your intuition is something you need to grow, you need to develop.
Speaker 4:If you just get gym membership, you're not gonna get fed. So you really don't need to practice this skill. Practice with dinner, food, clothing. From there, you can start to apply that for bigger decisions. But being able to see the last thing is is the separation.
Speaker 4:The separation of you know, often people identify themselves quite critically. They'll have labels for them. Oh, I'm a control freak. I'm this. I'm a people pleaser.
Speaker 4:I'm this. I'm that. Not enough. I'm never enough, you know. So it's to learn to notice those judgments and go, hey.
Speaker 4:That is not me. It is something that I feel. It may be something about I'm a very angry person, but you're probably not an angry person. You probably feel the anger more than some other people do. And it's probably not a bad thing because it's actually saying to you, hey, there's something to fix.
Speaker 4:This doesn't feel right. I am upset because something is not right. It's to be able to go, okay. There is some work to do or situations to handle. So, yeah, trusting yourself is is the way.
Speaker 1:I understand that acknowledging and and owning that and realizing rather than trying to fix it, that's the that's the first step, and then trusting yourself. And and I think sometimes we learn this on a hard way, but, hey, we still learn.
Speaker 4:We do. We do. And, you know, hard ways are the pathways. When when we feel, we heal. That's just how life goes.
Speaker 4:We're put on this planet to get some lessons, grow up, and become our best self. So yeah. True. True. Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Vina, it was fascinating, as I said, listening to you and enjoyed this conversation. I'm sure the listeners will enjoy as well. And thank you to our listeners as well.
Speaker 4:Thank you so much, Maria.
Speaker 1:Hope to chat to you more one day.
Speaker 3:Everyone has a story to share. The next time you see someone you don't know in your neighborhood, be curious, say hello, and you may be surprised to hear the story they have to tell. We hope you've enjoyed this episode. Leave a review, listen to another episode, or contact us to share your story.