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Reconnecting Family Ties: Finding a Brother and Rediscovering Joy at 54
In this heartfelt episode of 'Fuck Fear with Christine Spratley,' Christine shares an emotional journey of reconnecting with her long-lost brother Scott. From speaking engagements in Denver to meeting Scott for the first time, Christine narrates her experiences and newfound relationships with Scott and his son, Caleb. As an adoptee who never expected to find her birth family, Christine recounts the joy and surprises she encountered, including a memorable road trip, shared music, and bonding moments. Tune in for an inspiring story about unexpected gifts, the power of family, and the importance of persistence in the face of life's uncertainties.
00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:51 Discovering Family: A Life-Changing Journey
03:02 Meeting My Brother for the First Time
06:08 Bonding with My Nephew Caleb
08:47 Emotional Reflections and Insights
17:28 A Heartfelt Conclusion
Creators and Guests
What is F*ck Fear with Christine Spratley: Living Like a Head Bitch In Charge ?
This podcast is for anyone who wants to live like an HBIC—or lives with, works with, marries, dates, or is raising one. Let’s be real: being a Head Bitch in Charge is messy, bold, and unapologetically badass. This is not a guidebook—it’s a pantry.
My guests and I will share the ingredients that we use—what’s worked and what’s failed—as we say “fuck fear” and take action to live a fulfilled life. We cover real-life hacks and deep philosophical pillars to navigate the chaos of everyday life—where some days, my only accomplishment is having a bra on and my teeth brushed.
We’re tackling the daily shit women navigate, from workplace politics to relationships, raising kids, and building careers, all with humor, audacity, and zero filters.
So, tune in—tell your friends, and even your enemies. This isn’t about aging with grace—it’s about aging with mischief, audacity, and a damn good story to tell.
030 Fuck Fear - Who Knew?
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[00:00:00]
riverside_christine_raw-video-cfr_fuck_fear_0044: Tubs, everyone. Welcome to Fuck Fear with Christine Spratley. Um, living like a head bitch in charge. Joe, it feels like I haven't been in the studio for a long time. It's been like a week or so. I know. It feels like a long time. I know it has. Um, I this section, ladies and gentlemen, this segment, not this section, but this, this is going to be just kind of a little update [00:01:00] and, um.
It's kind of like, who the fuck knew the gifts that you could get at, at 54? Um, I recently, and, um, one of the reasons why I was out was I, um, did a speaking thing, a promotional thing in Denver and last week, and then flew to meet my brother for the first time. And for those of you that are new or don't know or whatever, um, I was adopted.
So last year in 2020, actually in 2023, I got some things started happening with me from an illness perspective and the doctor was like, listen, we can't figure this out. You need to get your, get more medical records. 'cause I had none. And so I started reaching out to get that and found out in 2024 that, um, they reached out to me and Julie, the caseworker called and she said, listen, we've got your file.
But we need consent to give it to you. [00:02:00] And I said, well, okay, reach out. And they said, well, your mother has passed. My birth mother had passed. And she said, so we have to reach out to the closest living relative. And I was like, okay. And she says, that's her son, your brother. So last year, um, about May, it's been about a year.
I found out I had a brother and not only did I have a brother, but he's a little brother, and for somebody who was adopted into the family of 16, of 15 as the, in the 16th child being the youngest, that was pretty cool. I mean, that's pretty, that's pretty awesome. Like I've never been a big sister. Like, I'm always the little, I could be the oldest person in the room and I still think I'm a little kid.
Um, you know, I'm gonna gotta go sit at the little kid's table. And so, um, July of last year, this was actually kind of fun. My stepson, um, was living with us at the time for the summer. I paid him to come and work for [00:03:00] my company. And that was really just to come and live with us. Um, and I met his, my brother's name is Scott for the first time via Zoom.
And it was just, it was, it was really funny. Um, I was like, I was like, I felt like I was at the zoo. You know, looking at the gorillas and the monkeys and, and like, don't, you know, you can't touch 'em, but you're like, what are, what's that? And, and, um, so anyway we had a, we we've gotten to go, gotten to know each other a lot, especially, um, because I've gone through some things.
I've, I've, you know, separated from my husband and moved out and done all these different things. And so he's kind of been in this space for me. And um, and I've been learning about him and his life, but also growing up and what mom was like and just all of that. So I flew from Denver into South Dakota 'cause they live in Spirit Lake and, [00:04:00] um, Iowa and South Dakota's closest airports you can fly into.
So he picked me up Friday morning, the Friday before Mother's Day and. Him and his son Caleb picked me up in their big old dodge pickup truck and drove to outside of Minneapolis for Caleb's hockey tournament. And we were gonna spend all weekend there because it was, we were trying to coordinate and it just wasn't working.
So I was just like, I'll come, I'll come there, I'll come there, I'll be there and we'll meet you at your level, um, at whatever, you know, whatever needs to happen, we'll just do it. And that's good enough. You know, instead of us waiting till we all had time, he's got a shit load of kids. And so I was like, you, you ain't gonna have time.
Um, so I was nervous. Um, I was, I, I didn't know how I felt, um, but I was really excited. I just had a lot of energy and so what was really cool was, so they [00:05:00] pull up. And he gets out and, um, just huge hug. Just huge hug. And, you know, my back's all messed up and I was like, auch. But it was so good. And we held, we hugged for a long time, and again, it was, it was this weird curiosity of being familiar, but you're not familiar.
And, um, so we began this journey and, um, just finding out about him and, you know, just, just the kind of the music that he listens to. Now he's nine years younger than me. I grew up, I was, I was born in 70 and he was born in 79. So there's some overlap with music, you know, but. I was like about, you know, not even because it's a four hour drive.
They're not even like, I don't know, an hour in. I'm like, dude, we gotta like, can I listen to my playlist? It was like, it was just, I mean, [00:06:00] again, it's his truck so he can, he can listen. But what was funny was, um, getting to know his son. Is Caleb's 14. And so we're driving and Scott and I are talking and we're kind of talking light, you know, just kinda light and I'm like looking and of course I haven't been back.
The other part of this is I haven't been back to the Midwest kind of driving through. I mean, I've flown in for work at different times to Des Moines in different cities and stuff, but I hadn't been back through the country 'cause I was a country girl. Um. It was like, oh my gosh, they're disking in the fields and, and the tractors.
So we were talking about the tractors, and you only see certain types of stores up there. Um, not types, but brands of stores. You know, like here you see Harris Teeter, um, up there you see different stores and, um, rainbow Foods. Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's, and so it was just kind of like, wow, I haven't been back, I haven't been back in that since probably [00:07:00] 91 or 92.
And um, so that was a lot of intake of emotions and shit. But so we're driving and we're kind of still in the. Not in intense conversations or anything, but still trying to feel it out. And all of a sudden I hear, and, and I'm just gonna say this right up front, sorry, people, um, I'm gonna sing a little bit, um, and I'm really not a singer at all.
Um, but out of the backseat and Caleb's back there doing whatever he, a 14-year-old kid. Bored out of his mind is doing, he's got the headsets on. Um, I could hear him playing games for a while, but then all of a sudden I hear Come and come and come. And Camille, you know, the boy Georgetown, and I turn around like, whatcha singing?
You're like, how do you know this? And he's like, and that opened up a floodgate between him and I. Like we exchanged playlist. I was like, oh no, you gotta listen to this. He was, we were singing, we sang everything from that [00:08:00] to Danger zone to journey to. 50 cent to post Malone. I mean, like we were singing everything and um, and it was so much fun.
And it was actually funny because Scott was, Scott wasn't annoyed, but he was not as enjoying it as much as Caleb and I were. I've never had somebody that was fleshing blood. And I know that may sound silly to some of you, but I've just never had that.
I've never had that sort of connection. I've just never, and I could sit there and go, y'all are like, that is my flesh and blood. Like that is, that is my flesh and blood. And um, and that was pretty powerful. That was really powerful. And it was. So we would go up and I, of course, you know, if anybody knows me for my.
Either my days before I got into corporate and stuff, but you know, I was a boxer. I'm very, I'm [00:09:00] very competitive and, um, I'm much more vocal now than I've been, um, probably when my step kids were in, well, Brady mainly was in competitions and playing lacrosse, but I turned Caleb's a goalie and I turned into like the hockey mom.
Goalie Hockmeyer where I was like, you know, when he was down first period I was down there and then the second period I was down in the other goalie, you know? And, and I, and, and we, I would yell out Yo diggity, 'cause we sang that song too. And, and he would be like, you know, he'd hear me. And the great thing about this is a kid, the great thing about Caleb was.
He, he likes to dance like he's a free spirit. He's, he's just, I really felt a kinship to him. He's such a free spirit and everybody on the team knows that he dances like, like he's out there and that, and that's when he's in his mood mojo. Right Joe? And, um, so. [00:10:00] There was to say that there were a lot of goal shots on goals was an understatement.
Um, a, a father from an the opposite team, or the opposing team actually made a TikTok video of Caleb and it's out there and I'll have to mind it to tell y'all what it, what it is, but it is, he's dancing, you know, out there. And he says, this is the great attitude to have because it's been like 50 shots on goal.
You know, and, um, and it was just, it was insane. Um, and but. And, and again, Caleb and I just buddied up and Caleb like, I don't know. I think the first night Scott wanted to go eat something, meat and potatoes and Caleb and I are like, no, we're going to get sushi. And Caleb wanted chicken Lo meine, so we found a place of chicken lo meine and we're having, you know, and, and, and he, and he ate like a 14-year-old, I mean, he just inhaled everything.
And, um, and I, and it was just, it was just fun. And then, and then he went outside and did whatever, [00:11:00] you know, carrie's 14 year olds do. And Scott and I sat and talked and, you know, and we just, we had a lot of questions and just a lot of, um, curiosity. Um, you know, there's nowhere to catch yesterday's bus, you know, but, um, I just.
It was really interesting. And then the next day we so I gotta tell you this, so Caleb kept saying, you know, Dick's, Dick's Sporting Goods, right? Right. Caleb, go, kept going, I wanna go see Dick's and you know, I wanna see the, I wanna go see Dick's. Dad, I like dick's. We gotta go see Dick's. And again, you're catching it right Joe, like you're catching that, right?
Yeah. That's one of my favorite stores to talk about. Yeah. But when you say that, I wanna go see Dick's. So we just, Scott and I let it ride. Like we just let it ride. But it was so funny because it was like finally the second day [00:12:00] Saturday, or Yeah, Saturday. We're sitting at raising cane or something. Right before I got sick.
Right before I got sick. And um. I look at Caleb and I go, I wanna see Dick's. I gotta go see dick's. I want, I like dick's. And then it just dawned on him what that statement meant. Like in the broader, and again, this is a kid who listens to some filthy stuff but has, you know, but it was just so funny. And then he just got this big grin.
He's like, I wanna go to. Dick's Sporting Goods. I want to go to Dick's. And it was just so funny. [00:13:00] and then I got to, I got to talk, I didn't get to talk to McKenna, um, the youngest daughter, um, but I got to talk to the older son, um, Jackson, and we talked, um, via, you know, phone, video, whatever that shit is.
And, um. And it was just really, really awesome. But then Saturday got got sick, came back, dropped Caleb off, and then we were kind of sitting there 'cause Scott coaches, but he didn't have to go in yet. And we were talking and then something just kinda weird like it, like we just quit talking for about like, it seemed like eternity.
You know? We just didn't like, it was just like we were both in some, like, it was just, we were in thought. You know, [00:14:00] and, um, and so I'm thinking I'm having a good time and, and I was, I was having a good time. And so Scott goes in and then my friend Kama calls and she's, you know, being the zen fary that she is, and all of a sudden I just rip her head off.
I, and she's like, yeah, I'm gonna hang up. And then she text me a little bit, you know, like, Hey, that ain't cool. And I was like, whoa, what, what's going on? And I'll talk about this in my next segment, but like, I was like, there's some stuff going on here, kid. And I just kind of sat with that and then I just started to kind of deal with, um, sit with, you know, what it, what?
All of, you know, just we had talked about the records and the different things that were written in the records and just, um, you know, my, you know, I, I told him about where I was raised and you know, we had talked about it before, but it was different in [00:15:00] person and I haven't, like I said, I hadn't been back, so there was all of this stuff that was coming up then Saturday night.
Caleb had a buddy that took him to go see the twins and the Giants came. So Scott and I just went out and hung out and talked and um, it was really incredible. It was really incredible. And then the next day we, we went to a game 'cause they, they played the early game on Sunday. 'cause they had lost, they had won.
One other game, I think. And so they were the, you know, first ones out kind of deal, which it's funny, and, and anybody who has kids that have travel, sports, whatever, when your team, when they, when the team starts losing, they're kind of, they're, they're out of it. Then you're like, yeah, don't, don't win anymore.
'cause then we take, get the early game and then we can get the hell outta here. And it was really funny. Um, 'cause those, those thoughts were coming back and I'm like, don't do that Christine. But we played the early game Sunday and then we went and Caleb and I were so funny again, we are just little [00:16:00] shits.
So we walk into this, Scott said, no, this is where we're gonna go eat. We're gonna go to this coffee shop. And I'm like, you don't like, no. He need, he's, he just finished playing. He's gonna, he's gonna scarf down like. Three plates of food and, and I didn't wanna go there. And so we walk into this coffee shop and Caleb grabbed Caleb, you know, by this time I'm like, arm in arm with him, buddying up, you know?
And he goes, man, it stinks in here. 'cause that real strong coffee smell that, that real stark roast. And um, he says, I go this. I don't wanna eat here. You wanna here? And he's like, no. And I'm like, let's, let's turn around and leave. I'm like, your dad gonna be mad? He's like, yeah, I think he's gonna be mad. And I was like, that's all right.
Let's go. And so we both just turn around and we walk out and Scott's like, what? Where were you going? I said, is he pissed off? And I guess Kayla had to turn around and he's like, yeah, I think he's gonna give us a double bird.
And I'm like, I'm like, that's okay. And by this time, my back is just totally messed up. I can't run. I, I mean, I can't move hardly. And um, and I go, he's like, well, let's make a break for it. I'm like, I can't run. He's like, that's okay. I'm gonna leave you. And I'm like, [00:17:00] I'll trip your ass. And and then of course we find this little, this cafe that I had spotted, we go sit down and ca Caleb of course eats like five pounds of food, you know?
And, um, and then, um, the Uber came and took me to the airport and I came home and, um, you know, gave him hugs and guesses and told him I loved him. And, but I'm just sharing that because. I, I've gone through a lot in this last year and, um, you know, don't whatever you're going through, even if it's confusion, even if it's whatever, don't quit five minutes before the miracle happens.
You know, don't, you know, I, one of my favorite sayings is, you know, not I, you're not five minutes too early and you're not 10 minutes too late. You're just right on time. You know, I'm, I'm right on time for my life. For the miracles that are supposed to happen today. And I, I know I came back [00:18:00] Monday and I had all sorts of emotional stuff going on this week.
Um, plus a lot of, I had my RAC procedure on Monday, but, I didn't know this was in my life. Like this was even in my path. 'cause I never really wanted to go and find my, my birth parents or, I mean, I just, it was a door that was like shut. And yet this person, I mean literally this person sends me, we have these same sense of humor, just sarcastic, just the, the mugs and the stuff that he sends me is just like, you know, it's so funny and he even gets my rambling, like he knows how to decipher 'cause.
I don't text 'cause I have fat fingers and I suck at it. So I do the verbal text, the verbal, you know, voice text thing and I'll lose, you know, I'll be like, and um, off over here, come back over here and, and, and it's just, it's a really wonderful gift and we both have [00:19:00] had no real siblings to share our path with.
And yet at one of the hardest times in my life. He's not only family, but he's showing up and he's choosing to show up, um, even when it's uncomfortable for him. 'cause I know this has been hard for him and he's got his, you know, I mean, shit, he's got a family and doing stuff and running a job. They've got a coffee shop, they're getting right, open another coffee shop.
And then he has a whole another, you know, his old job, let alone travel with, you know, kids and all that stuff. And, um. It just was really like, I had no idea, you know, and I've cried a lot and I've, and I'm sure I'll cry more, but there are gonna be days of just joy, of lightness, of heart, and I'm gonna sing, you know, 50 cent, [00:20:00] just go inferno with a 14-year-old kid and just, and then make fun of him the next day going, yeah.
I like dicks. I wanna go see dicks. It's not what I wanna do, Caleb. I wanna go see some dicks, you know? So ladies and gentlemen, wherever you're at in your world today, just take a moment and just know that it's not done. Like you don't know. I don't know where it's gonna happen. I don't know when the pain's gonna stop or the joy's gonna begin, but you don't know.
And as long as I keep getting up and keep participating in my day, um, I'm given a shot at more joy, you know? And, um, I'm not gonna let anybody take my joy or still my sunshine today. And, um, everybody else can just fuck off. You know, I've, I, I do, I've got [00:21:00] this imprinted in my head, this little. The three of us just laughing and you know, just laughing And, um, it's really nice to be given the gifts at 54.
I'll be 55 this year. It's really nice to be given those unexpected gifts of life. So, ladies and gentlemen, until next time, tubs.