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Most of the powerful, unguarded conversations we have as practitioners happen behind the scenes. This podcast was created to bring those conversations forward. It’s a space for real talk about client work, presence, creating powerful containers for waking others up, embodied change, and the ways we continue to grow and meet our edges as we guide others.
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Welcome to Inside the Practitioner's Path. I'm Eli Coats, and I'm Barb Patterson. This is a private space for those doing this work and those feeling called to it, who want to live what they teach and explore. The real behind the scenes happenings about our work, ourselves, and the edges we meet along the way. It's unfiltered and unedited, just like us talking about how this work shapes us right alongside our clients.
00;00;32;02 - 00;01;00;03
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We share what moves us, what makes us laugh, and what we're still figuring out. This is about presence, practice, and community. The ongoing work of being human while helping other humans. Well. Welcome inside. I'm taking too long. Welcome. Should be like that. Okay. Welcome. Welcome. Enough. Oh! It's impossible. Hey, everybody. Welcome. We're just so glad you're here. I love anything you want to add to that.
00;01;00;04 - 00;01;07;26
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Welcome inside.
00;01;07;28 - 00;01;33;15
Unknown
Hi everyone. Welcome back to Inside the Practitioner's Path. This is Barb. Today we're going to talk about what happens in between sessions. And I'm going to talk about it from two angles from the client angle. You know what. What are they doing in between sessions if anything. And then also from my perspective as the mentor or the coach, what am I doing in between sessions?
00;01;33;15 - 00;01;56;10
Unknown
What happens? Now the first thing I want to share is I learned I were in a conversation this last week and I had a memory. It was in the first year of my business. I was getting ready to jump on a call with a client, and I realized I had not thought about him since that we hung up the phone two weeks prior.
00;01;56;12 - 00;02;18;09
Unknown
And I was shocked and it just really hit me, and I, I was like, that is not okay. And I realized him like, I have too many clients, that my client load is too large and I have too many projects going on. And, you know, I always love diversity in my business. So there's always a mix of one on one of mentoring of groups and going into businesses.
00;02;18;09 - 00;02;51;21
Unknown
And I love all that. But it was really a wake up call because the fact that he didn't come to mine once is not the way I want to work with people. I yes, in spirit do we show up, get present to the person when they when they get on a call and we serve. Absolutely. But the other thing that's important for me is, is there enough space in my life and in my calendar and in my mind, so that my clients can come to mind in between sessions?
00;02;51;21 - 00;03;15;07
Unknown
You know, often I'll be out for a walk or listening to something or driving or dishes and I'll have a thought about a client and I'll see something like, I might have a question, or I'll have a realization about them and I'll think about, you know, do I want to talk to them at the next session? Or sometimes I'll do it before then.
00;03;15;10 - 00;03;42;13
Unknown
But that kind of spacious. We need the spaciousness. If I'm on high, you know, fast paced, going day and night. Lots of clients. On to the next project. There isn't the space for that to happen. And so that really became an orientation for me in the way that I want to work with people. And I'll say one more thing about it.
00;03;42;13 - 00;04;19;01
Unknown
You know, some of the most meaningful shifts in my life, in my network and in my work with other people, has been when I've participated in kind of longer, whether it's groups or one on one mentoring over a period of time, like six months or a year. You know, I've done certain programs that were two years long, but that level of intimacy, connection to other people in the group, but also to the person I was learning from, were amazing.
00;04;19;01 - 00;04;54;14
Unknown
That availability and first for me as the person on the receiving end, to know that while I'm in this container, while I'm in this group, I'm a student. I'm holding my own development, my own journey, in a way, intentionally so that I'm taking what's happening. You know, whether it was on weekend stuff coming or one on one calls that I'm kind of holding it in a way for it to integrate more deeply, for me to see more in between sessions.
00;04;54;16 - 00;05;32;17
Unknown
So that's one piece of it with my own clients. How do I encourage them when we begin an engagement or throughout, to kind of stay aware, to stay open, to stay reflective and curious as we're going throughout because so much happens, life happens in between phone calls, life happens in between the weekends. And those phone calls in the weekends are like such great opportunities for direct feedback, for pointing, for awakening, for rich, intimate connections, you know, for all of that.
00;05;32;19 - 00;05;57;20
Unknown
But ultimately, our hope is that people are able to take this out of the session and integrate into their lives. So the more they're able to hold that loosely, right? Not vigilantly, not driving everything, but hold it and really see, then I know for sure that in between sessions, they're going to notice things, they're going to see things.
00;05;57;20 - 00;06;34;22
Unknown
So part of what I'm paying attention to is what are they doing in between sessions? You know, in working in a lot of corporations. You know, I'm often working with people who have never had a coach before and, you know, busy, busy, busy, busy, you know, cultures and lives and all of that. And I when I notice that they're showing up and they haven't thought about their own development or anything they're working on since the last time we hung up the phone, that's an opportunity for me.
00;06;34;25 - 00;07;07;21
Unknown
That will be a chance for me to talk about how they can hold or create more space for them to have time for the work that we're doing, to integrate for them to practice whatever that might mean for them to experiment and step into it. You know, whether it's a conversation they want to have or need to have, whether it's a way they've been wanting to show up to a meeting or give presents and be more present, which is often a theme I hear.
00;07;07;23 - 00;07;33;03
Unknown
So I'm kind of paying attention what's happening for them in between sessions. Again, not as an accountability coach, but more as I really want to support them and guide them to gain the most during our time together. And part of that means how are they holding this whole journey? How are they holding the time in between our sessions?
00;07;33;06 - 00;08;03;05
Unknown
So that's one element of it. The other, though, is what am I up to in between sessions other than now having a little bit more space? And by the way, sometimes more space than I want, but that's another episode anyway, in between sessions, what I've come to really love is I always, for my clients, let them know that if anything comes up in between sessions, they can email me.
00;08;03;05 - 00;08;28;02
Unknown
They can voice message me, if need it. We can jump on a quick call, but I encourage those touchpoints in between for a couple of reasons. One is what I just shared. Is it? It means they're seeing things along the way, and by sharing it with me, by putting voice to it or asking a question, I know then that things are integrating.
00;08;28;02 - 00;08;53;11
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They're learning more. That learning curve that they're on is actually happening. Now. I will say that some clients never take me up on that. And then there are other clients who do it all the time. So I just kind of trust, but if there's somebody I think would benefit from more in between, I might encourage it multiple times and give them examples.
00;08;53;11 - 00;09;11;06
Unknown
You know, I'll say, oh, well, sometimes clients will. They want to get my feedback on a meeting. They're going to have, you know, in a couple of days and they just share or they just had a win and they share, or they just need to talk about something you know, I give them examples, but I love using those.
00;09;11;06 - 00;09;40;28
Unknown
And I do the same for clients if they come to mind about anything, I will share it with a voice message. And I've really come to love that because I'm not trying to save everything for the one. You know the time that we have on zoom, right, or on a call and it often is just a little note that will bring them back to awareness and consciousness or a little message.
00;09;40;28 - 00;10;15;08
Unknown
Or maybe I remember that they have an important meeting, like one of my clients just, had a really big meeting with board members and, it, it and it was complicated and there was a lot of sensitive topics. So, we met beforehand, and then after I, you know, I just left a message, you know, I think it about you look forward to hearing how it goes, you know, let me know if you need anything.
00;10;15;10 - 00;10;55;21
Unknown
What? I think the point here. Now, that's me following what's natural. I want to be careful here is that sometimes people or coaches can feel this sort of. I have to constantly be sending people things. I have to constantly check in or they won't think I'm not doing enough or they won't think I care. And the place, coming from any anxiety or fear of trying to prove yourself or, you know, make sure that you're being valuable, that can be really normal.
00;10;55;21 - 00;11;18;17
Unknown
But I just want to settle that part of you. If it is getting activated. Right now, I'm really talking about the natural things that occur to you to do. And if we have that spaciousness and we see ourselves as someone's partner over time, you will naturally get thoughts about them. Now, again, there are some clients that I don't.
00;11;18;23 - 00;11;50;02
Unknown
I don't talk too much in between. It's just the way it is. But progression is happening, but integration is happening. And so, Another thing I might do is send something to listen to it, you know, or a book suggestion or a podcast. I thought they would be interested in. Again, I'm conscious not to just do this to prove.
00;11;50;04 - 00;12;22;17
Unknown
And, you know, from the prove that I'm, you know, valuable or trying to over give them things to consume. I think in the work we do in particular, we want to ride that line. But sometimes I'll hear a podcast or I'll think of, you know, somebody who shared, on something they're working on, whether it's maybe a parenting thing or a listening thing or whatever, and I'll send it because I think it would be helpful.
00;12;22;20 - 00;12;51;23
Unknown
But again, I want to pay attention that I'm not just giving things to consume. Right. As the coach and mentor were paying attention to, is it integrating? Is it landing what's getting stirred in them? What are the insights that they're having and how do I continue to, you know, point them in that direction as well as, you know, give feedback and guide and teach when necessary.
00;12;51;26 - 00;13;25;08
Unknown
So this in between the session, the. The other thing I want to say is part of paying attention. The other piece I want to share is part of what I'm listening to are paying attention is, you know, at times you'll just start to feel like maybe traction isn't happening for the client or, you know, you get on the call with them and you feel like more time would be beneficial.
00;13;25;08 - 00;13;54;20
Unknown
And this is where I think we want to give ourselves permission to speak to what's true, to speak to what we're kind of curious about, and open up the conversation with them. So I've had a client that I just felt like when we kept getting on the call, we were kept coming back as if we'd never talked before, and I could see that things weren't it wasn't really helping in between sessions.
00;13;54;20 - 00;14;18;22
Unknown
And so I wanted to talk to her about it, and we did. We had a really great conversation, and what we came to was that meeting more often for where she was at right now is going to just be more helpful. And so we went to meeting every week instead of every other week. And that conversation with her was really helpful for multiple reasons.
00;14;18;22 - 00;14;47;27
Unknown
One is I wasn't in the background trying to figure her out and figure out how to be more helpful by myself, right? She and I were in this together, and she told me later that me bringing that up and talking about it really had her drop into a new level of trust about the work that we were doing, you know, and she said, it's not that I didn't trust, but there was something about bringing that up in such an honest in both of us working on it.
00;14;47;27 - 00;15;12;01
Unknown
I could feel your care. I could feel your commitment to me. The other example is I was working with a, a gentleman, and I knew I kind of intuitively knew I wanted to start with an intensive because I, I could feel that, having him, I would have his business for a couple of days and his life would actually be better for him.
00;15;12;08 - 00;15;35;03
Unknown
We could go deeper. We could build some momentum before he went back into the world of his, crazy business. And, you know, the season that it was in. But he just could not make it happen. And so, I just knew to say yes. Anyway, so I said yes. And we began working together and he started to really see some things, and it was really helpful.
00;15;35;05 - 00;16;07;27
Unknown
But I could see that, I still kept getting the nudge, like, in a strong way. After we'd worked together for a couple of months. That time away would be the most beneficial thing for him. And so because we'd been working together, he kind of now knew where I came from. He understood what we were up to around trying to, you know, slow him down internally, give him access beyond his mind, but to his creative potential and his intelligent, deeper intelligence.
00;16;07;29 - 00;16;24;15
Unknown
I was able to revisit it again with him and he was on board. He could see it.
00;16;24;17 - 00;16;50;14
Unknown
And because of that, he could see the value in a very different way. And he said yes. And we were able to do two days together. And it just it accelerated his learning curve in such a beautiful way. And really, after he left those two days, we were standing on completely different ground. Now, would we have gotten there?
00;16;50;17 - 00;17;15;11
Unknown
Yes, I think we would have, but it would have taken so much longer. And I could just again, that nudge inside of me, the wisdom in me saying he would really benefit. And even though he has told me he cannot do it, I knew I had to bring it up again. So again, following where we're being nudged, what are we noticing with what we want?
00;17;15;11 - 00;17;42;04
Unknown
What do we want to say? What's occurring to us about the pace and what's happening in between sessions, both for them and for us? How do we bring that all together in service to the client? You know, some people I talk to, I've worked with a lot of coaches over the years. And, you know, I know some have a lot of things that they give and serve.
00;17;42;04 - 00;18;15;05
Unknown
So I think if you do and you see the effectiveness of that, keep it up. If you're worried that maybe you're not doing enough in between and you worry about your value and what you're seeing, I want to encourage you to reflect beyond, just, am I doing a good job? Or do they think I'm adding enough value? I want you to just listen in a different way and ask yourself, is there any more support that would be helpful here?
00;18;15;07 - 00;18;51;14
Unknown
Is there a way in which I can show up differently? Or we can alter and adjust the way we're working together? That would be helpful, but from the place of kind of openness, not from the place of an insecure thought about your value, because I promise if you're if you're asking and that's your starting point, an insecure thought or worry about your value, you're going to overdo it and you're going to end up building ideas and strategies that are just going to be about volume rather than impact.
00;18;51;16 - 00;19;23;05
Unknown
And what we're really aiming for is impact. And you can see some clients don't require much in between. And they're really learning and they're getting a lot other clients need a little more support, maybe just for the whole time, maybe just for a period of time. And so when we're holding the big picture with them, I think we intuitively then can find our way and we can know when space is valuable, we can know and maybe we want to adjust.
00;19;23;07 - 00;19;49;11
Unknown
We can sense leave him alone right now, or you can sense I'm going to reach out. There's no, as always, right. There's no right or wrong here. What we're really aiming and what I'm hoping that your biggest takeaway from today will be is, oh yeah, there's kind of what's happening in them in between sessions and how can I use that information to support them even more?
00;19;49;13 - 00;20;15;16
Unknown
And what's happening with me in between sessions? What comes to mind about my clients and and how do I listen and move in the direction where I can feel it would be helpful or meaningful? So I hope this was helpful today. I'm so grateful for you and being here with us. Eileen and I have really loved being here.
00;20;15;16 - 00;20;36;11
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Just a reminder that, we'd love to hear how you're doing, what questions you have. Are there topics that we haven't talked about that you'd love to hear? So you can email us at Inside the Practitioner's Path at gmail.com. All right everyone, thank you. So much. Take care.
00;20;36;14 - 00;20;45;03
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for listening and engaging. We're so glad you're here. If you have a question or something you'd love us to explore on a future episode, we'd love to hear from you!
00;20;45;08 - 00;21;08;16
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Email us at Inside the Practitioner's Path at gmail.com. We also host free experiences and deeper programs throughout the year. You can find what's coming up at Barbara Patterson Income and Iowa coach.com. Let us know what's resonating, what's opening up, and what you're seeing in your own work. Until next time. You.