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Something has appeared in the crew's void ship. Will they hunt it down, or will it hunt them?
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: WH40K Black Crusade
System: WH40K Black Crusade
Creators and Guests
What is WarHams: A Chaos Odyssey?
Four Chaos Space Marines. One terrified Guardsman. A cursed ship hurtling across the galaxy. Join us for a Warhammer 40,000 actual-play TTRPG campaign using the Black Crusade system — hilarious, grimdark, and utterly unhinged. Which Chaos God will the Guardsman ultimately choose? Who will prevail in the end?
would you guys like to make a game out of this no man chaos rules my doctor
prescribes me cigarettes i will start with this horrible abomination against the gods
all right who's ready to play a chaos odyssey
big rectangle if you're listening to it we're all gonna do a clap everyone three two one go
excellent sexy and now we gotta help out all the or nobody i did your easy thanks easy
also thank you everybody for your support of chaos thank you out yeah yeah actually
the only place that we give you replace it with this soundbite i hate you and then just
i hate you you don't have to do that tear down easy's face as he's editing out the one
we add it to our discord every meeting i have with
guy we love you oh he's really good at this speaks i'm just spamming it i hate you
it's his first birthday i just sent him that sound board it's so
mean we love easy really kicks absolutely so good okay thank you so good the comments
say thank you easy uh but of course yeah right now holds a gun i hate you yeah do it right
to let you guys know if you're watching this on uh uh if you're watching this on the q drown
the video version uh for one there was a lovely red screen that's now been disabled because i
forgot to click that button and two oh no okay i thought i clicked the button i was looking away
checking something i messed up um but of course you're watching the video version our nameplate
thing got broken uh you're just not gonna say your names or whatever but you should see everybody's
names in the description down below because uh yeah you can be able to figure out who we are
there uh but with that there's dano hello we were deep into the halls of our lovely chaos ship
where we last lit uh laid off basically what's happening laid off yeah we got laid off
my brain didn't work for the right economy's real fucking bad y'all i didn't want to tell you this
from contractions
i go i've got to go
to
my md
unemployment again
the space marines have student debt huh
i got all that medical debt from the nails in my head
uh that's true that is true no i'm healthy fuck you
no you're not you're not you're the opposite of healthy i am no see you remember that scene
from the simpsons where the doctor was saying that uh mr burns was actually
like so riddled with diseases that they're all trying to get in but they can't get through his
immune system that's that's that's and his little shitty toady that's the two of them that is true
that is true we're the healthiest beings on this vessel for now i'm immortal until everyone gets
the miracle blight but thurston that's your problem what story do you have for us today
hulky read the quote
but without purpose and astartes is nothing a warrior without war no worry at all
attributed to malkadu with a sigillite awesome we are on the decks of the carcass
uh the the vessel that you have been plying uh through the immaterium um
i believe where we left off
uh you had just picked up uh beth isle after a sparring match uh that beth isle was having
with her uh her fellow world leader helbrus scorched teeth uh beth isle helbrus helbrus
and disgust had sort of left you to your companions and now you are making your way
further into the vessel uh to track the the border as you are still uh dealing with the
eighth translation problem
which is every eight times this vessel translates into the immaterium there is some sort of
presence that boards uh you'd received a word from the captain um as well as uh the the heretic
um priest edelfar scourge that another uh member of of your crew uh lor cullen was tracking the creature
in sort of the the midden lower decks of the vessel
and we come back to you as you are attempting uh to find laura colin and an and the creature in this
area of the vessel how are you going about this what would you like to do
uh so are we are all back together
uh so we are all back together
yes i've got a question
i've got a question
how would we like to proceed
how would you like to proceed
exceedingly over my shoulders distance roughly fire plentiful like 낄ль Tunaj you see how she is preparing for a more worse headshot than you consider nothing good enough as it is but even with her right doing her homework it would save me less energy
delicately or very brutishly we were going to be delicate in the first place i'm just asking
we have a variety of different freaks aboard how about both of us or all of us have our
own ways of approaching things you do so delicately i should do so tactically
bethiel can do it brutally and cephis can do so disgustingly in yevgeny you just watch
i have a question since towards the end of the last session uh you're getting was stuffed into
a locker did you just take the locker with you for or did you let him out of there i just want
to make sure i just want to make sure i just want to make sure i just want to make sure i just want
to make sure if you hadn't got out of your own accord after life host left cephis would have had
would have had lucitrix let you out he likes the locker right it's one of the only places
he feels safe it's true i feel safe and he's not wrong most boring alien isolation playthrough ever
it's not gonna kill you it's just gonna make you a little bit sadder
all right
yeah bethiel is just going to like curl a lip at lifos but is indeed going to
uh kind of put his head down and start looking for
tracks or any kind of physical indication of where this thing might be you know if it left
any footprints or scores in the wall or something like that sure do you have a specific skill you'd
like to use for this uh there is specifically a tracking skill but i'm not trained in that one so
survive on that one i'm not sure if you have a specific skill you'd like to use for this uh there is specifically a tracking skill but i'm not trained in that one so survive on that one
well so tracking is not a skill that's in black crusade i don't i don't know why it's
on there it should be survived oh yeah i think i think that's a pullover from um
dark heresy yeah that checks i was about to say i wonder why they made that two separate skills
but that checks out maybe i'm maybe i'm crazy um but i don't think so what's your call
for no it's survived it's survival so yeah it's survival okay then um give me um
Um, you're tracking a foe, uh, give me a plus 10, uh, check.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice.
Ordinary.
Hmm.
Not so good.
That is a 97 for four degrees of failure.
Ouch.
The ship, the ship's hulls look, look all the same.
In fact, they, they constantly, um, they constantly seem to shift around.
So you can't even get good bearings.
You often get frustrated at the ship.
The only constant sort of companion is, um, dent marks on the walls where clearly in bouts over the past centuries, you've smashed the wall with your weapon, Bethael.
Um, in fact, that's how you've set up a lot of tracking and like knowing where you are on the ship from where you've had little...
little like spurts of rage and smashed into the wall.
Uh, the camera's gonna turn over to Byzanty.
Byzanty, if I'm correct, I think you have an Auspex.
Yeah, I have an Auspex in my brain.
Beautiful.
Do you want to give me, uh, give me a check, let's see, oh, I'm, I, I am well fucking used to what is about to happen, trust me, trust me.
Um.
So I'm glad that we've, we've got that.
We have an understanding, excellent.
Yeah, we, we know, we all, we're all, we're nodding, we're looking at each other, it's very good.
Um, give me a fucking...
Awareness?
I don't know, awareness, yeah, give me awareness, uh, plus 20.
Okay, excellent.
It's plus 20, and I have a native plus 30 from my good craftsmanship, uh, upgrade.
Beautiful.
So that will be up to a plus 50.
And I get to re-roll it.
If I don't like it.
Um, I don't like it.
I succeed.
Only two degrees of success.
Yeah, I think, I think that the, the Prince of Excess demands more from it.
Uh, that's true, that's true, that's true.
Let's go gambling.
Let's go gambling.
Here we go, okay, good.
Nice.
All right, there we go.
That's seven degrees of success as my eyes, uh, black eyes just, uh, begin the seeing it through other modes of experience.
Listening.
And peering forth.
Okay.
So it's, it's absolutely like Beth Isles, like looking around the rest of you are watching as Beth Isles, like in tracking mode.
And then Beth Isle just kind of goes up to the walls and is like, I made that dead.
Oh, I made that dead.
And then like the camera pans over to you by Zanty.
And then like, it kind of like zooms into your eye and it just like pulls up the tracker from alien isolation.
Like the, the cone with the boop, boop.
And then you see like a dot in the distance, which is motion, um, several hundred feet down the hallway.
That's incredible.
If you'll excuse me, I need to make a difficulty minus 10 willpower test.
Yes.
Jesus.
Oh my God.
And I fail.
So I smile and I simply say, I have many secrets.
Why do you keep saying that?
Yeah.
What do you mean by that?
I'm going to begin forwarding ahead with my sonic blaster at the ready.
Uh, moving towards the source of this movement.
Absolutely.
Beep.
Beep.
Just follow him.
Yeah.
You start picking up the pace.
Um, eventually, uh, you turn a, you turn a sharp corner.
And when you turn the sharp corner, you can see that there is a silhouette at the end of a hall.
That's maybe 10 meters wide.
It's like a, it's a, it's an axis channel.
Um, the silhouette, it's clearly a hulking individual that stands there with a almost like a rectangular slab in front of them.
Um, the lights, the lumens here, they sort of flicker in and out, but what you get is the, uh, like absolute coloration of like a
bright yellow
armored warrior
standing at the end
of the hall. A large
shield hoisted
up, this slab
of ceramite dented
and a symbol in the
center that has been like
festooned over
with like dried
blood, some fresh blood.
A bolt gun
held sort of
over it and then kind of
lowering as the figure sees you.
You
recognize this
as one of your fellow
Astartes on board the carcass.
The renegade
imperial fist
Lore Colon.
A fine
evening to you, Poppet.
Oh.
It's you.
Poppet's
course.
I almost got excited that you were something
to kill.
No.
Not today, unless you want to try
your luck.
Do you want to try your luck?
He like kind of like lifts up the bolt
or readies the shield, almost like
anticipatorily.
Not today.
Cephas kind of holds out a hand
as if to try and steady the other marine.
Not today. We're busy
hunting something.
You could all hear
like the audible like oh
and like the sadness.
Like it's difficult to see a space marine
slouch, but Lore
Colon slouches at that.
Go back with you.
Hunt this thing.
I'm hunting it on my own.
I'm sure I'll find it.
You haven't seen anything?
Just some screams.
Just some screams.
There was some
menials.
Hey.
Yes?
I want to check the rate
of his heartbeats.
I want to see if he's lying.
Sure.
What check do you want to give me?
I could do awareness.
Probably the best skill
for this.
Scrutiny, let's see here.
Awareness is definitely more like
noticeable things. Scrutiny,
let's see. Scrutiny might also be
applicable here.
Yeah, that is more assessing people.
So yeah, that's definitely the better
skill is scrutiny.
Okay, awesome.
I am untrained in scrutiny.
Excellent.
Give me a scrutiny at a zero.
Oh, however, however.
Yes.
Since you have a head Auspex,
you can use your head Auspex.
Technically, scrutiny is what you'd use
for your Auspex too, so.
Yeah, yeah, I absolutely would love to.
Yeah, you can get your plus 30.
This is going to be a plus zero check,
so you'll get your bonus from your Auspex.
Okay.
Cool, cool.
And then I can reroll it if I don't like it.
But let's see what we got.
That's a 38 for three degrees of success.
Nice.
So, Lurk Cullen's heartbeat
is a steady rhythm.
Lurk Cullen is the most depressing Astartes
you have ever met.
Um.
He was picked up
after all of his battle brawls.
He was picked up after all of his battle brawls.
His brothers were slain by greenskins.
His brothers were slain by greenskins.
Um, he came on board the vessel,
Um, he came on board the vessel,
and he essentially tried to wage a one-man war
and he essentially tried to wage a one-man war
and he essentially tried to wage a one-man war
for about a year,
for about a year,
and just pessimistically gave up.
and just pessimistically gave up.
Aww.
That's so sad.
Yeah.
That sounds to me like he doesn't really have the right stuff in here.
Yes, we run away.
And I've heard that you're also trying to hunt whatever this thing is.
And I've heard that you're also trying to hunt whatever this thing is.
Is that correct?
Yes.
Um.
I found some menials who this thing attacked.
A couple of them even survived.
I made sure they made it to the Medicaid.
I made sure they made it to the Medicaid.
Oh.
Mercy is it.
But since you're addressing the great Lyphos,
But since you're addressing the great Lyphos,
Yes.
I admire you.
Such, such a remnant of your old self to show through.
Such, such a remnant of your old self to show through.
Normally we would just eliminate the weak.
Normally we would just eliminate the weak.
But.
He kind of turns to the rest,
to his party and goes like,
Would you guys like to make a game out of this?
Would you guys like to make a game out of this?
Not particularly.
I do so love games.
I do so love games.
I don't like games.
Well, you know, that's your game.
That's your problem.
I think we should make a game of it.
You guys want to play a game?
No, not really.
Yevgeny would love to make a game of this.
I don't think.
He has a name.
Yes, sir.
Yevgeny.
Yes, sir.
I would love to engage you in combat,
I would love to engage you in combat,
but I don't think it would last more than five seconds
but I don't think it would last more than five seconds
with a considerable size and bulk respect.
with a considerable size and bulk respect.
Never say never.
Such humility.
But we're not trying to fight him,
we're trying to beat him to the punch.
Oh, if you go tracking something,
I might be able to help out with that.
And for that I wanted to propose
a contest between us and him.
Whoever kills it first,
the other one must serve
the other one must serve
for an entire week on the ship.
No.
Oh, well, that's right.
Oh, well, that's right.
I was about to say, my foes,
six versus one is not a terribly fair comparison.
Though I guess in Lucidrix and Yevgeny's case,
Though I guess in Lucidrix and Yevgeny's case,
that would together count about as one,
so more like five versus one.
My point still stands.
Are you proposing we are all doing this separately?
Are you proposing we are all doing this separately?
I don't think it's going to be much of a contest,
in truth.
Really, this is all just me trying to nuke
a little bit of additional glory.
After all, our
favorite son of Dorne here
loves nothing more than morosely
resigning himself to failure.
I'm sure it'll be a familiar sensation,
like coming home.
You misunderstand me.
You misunderstand me.
I spend my time avoiding you
on this ship. Having you serve me
would be the opposite of my desire.
That is incredibly fair!
That is incredibly fair!
I've always liked you, Puppet!
Ah, well.
His head tilts slightly
to the side. As far as my
home, that would be Terra,
which I believe you visited
once.
Ooh!
I'll have you know,
I've been there twice.
You know, getting
accolades and honors
from the
Emperor's children, yes.
You know, the whole
story.
You know, the whole story.
That warranted
a lesson, a visit,
a momentary meeting with the Emperor.
And you warranted...
He turns his back as you're talking
and starts walking away.
Ah!
Quick lore question.
Yeah.
During the series of Terra,
did Dorne's imperial fists
eventually fail
for the vast majority of it
or were they still holding on?
They were still holding on to the absolute end.
They were like
the literal legion that held the wall
the entire time.
Okay, okay, so they didn't fail their defense, basically.
Okay, because I was saying
I mean, the Emperor still technically
got like
stab-punked, so
you know, it depends what your
view of victory is.
No one really won.
I was trying to think of a combat. Maybe I can
maybe this one might do.
He's already walked away.
He's walking away.
Like stroking his chin, yeah?
He's like, I gotta
diss this guy somehow.
And he's like, God damn it, I just got
the right bird, fuck!
I'm in the shower, I forgot the best response
to the argument.
Fuck!
Terrific.
Ain't that always how it is.
I come to Byzantium, like
it is vying Byzantium, don't I tell you?
Don't antagonize you too much.
It's not like his defense actually
worked to protect his precious Emperor.
Well,
as
cutting as that remark
is, it's not coming out of my
mouth, is it? So I can't fully
appreciate it.
For now, I will simply
appreciate inevitable
victory. And then
once the Imperial Fist is
out of line of sight, I'm gonna make a willpower save.
Yeah, please.
I have many secrets.
I have many secrets.
I have many secrets.
God damn it!
The fact that your target
is thirty...
It's so good.
It's so good. I'm like, anyone who should have
taken the fucking willpower upgrade, it should
have been Speaker.
Cephas leans over to Byzantium and
Lyphos.
Byzantium, you are awfully easy to goad.
I think that's very respectable in some
cases.
Of course. A pervert like
me needs a little goading from time
to time.
I think you need no goading, my friend.
Oh, that's
so sweet. It makes me want to throw up.
By the way,
I'm going this way,
and I'm going to point down the
way that he went.
I shan't ask you why.
Come on.
Just to make sure, though. Just to make sure.
Mm-hmm.
I interpreted
you telling me
that your friend and mine,
Mr. Imperial Fist, my beloved
poppet,
is a very depressive guy,
and so the idea of him taking
initiative to look after
nothing, or to look after this thing,
must mean he has some
sort of lead.
That's how I interpreted that.
Well, and
remember, he mentioned that there were
menials who encountered this thing and
survived, and he took them to the Medicaid.
Right. Okay, good.
So in that case,
let us follow from a
respectable distance.
May I
suggest we change course and
investigate those who were harmed
in the Medicaid?
Then we'll see what evidence
this thing has left
and use that to our advantage.
We'll find
it soon enough.
Time spent interrogating those wretches
is time lost behind
the dawn sun.
Cephas will hold his finger up
at that.
I could send my attendant to inquire
if that would please you.
She's not doing anything else, are you, Lucy?
No, I'm not.
Maybe the two
lesser ones
can be acquainted
with each other.
Evgeny, why don't you escort this one
to the Medicaid?
Well, they would more escort you
if you still don't know your way around, do you?
I have no idea
what lurks in these, like,
holes, and I'm terrified.
Well, good luck.
Sorry, this is like a
fucking horror movie. All right,
let's split up. The two people who
are not augmented trans humans,
you go down Spooky Alley.
The rest of us will follow
the other guys.
Evgeny was never seen
again. Thurston, they're going
to the Medbay.
People have been there already.
That's where they're more vulnerable.
You two humans go down the evil-ass
murder hallway. We're going to go to the
commissary for delightful chaos slop
that makes us feel good, and we're going to share
stories about killing to be happy.
Also, just a forewarning, Hulk,
you're gonna have to boost your, uh,
or change your, like, your floor
and ceiling for the thing, because Discord's
cutting you off a wee bit. That's awesome.
I love Discord. It is a program without
faults. We love Discord. We love Discord.
We love Discord. We love Discord.
We don't actually love Discord.
They're doing stupid shit.
Oh, fuck Discord.
So basically,
are we okay with that?
Because I would really have two people
go for roleplay things, so it's like, it's okay for
you. Do you want to go,
Hulki, with that suggestion, or are you just gonna stick with us?
I mean, I'm fine doing
that, because I have, I mean, I can roleplay
with, uh,
with or no VA's
proxy, or, and we
can die. We can definitely die.
That's right. That's very funny.
I can go with them. I can go with them.
I can always find an excuse to avoid
talking to wizards.
That's fine.
You know what?
The fight is this way.
If I, if I may
sound this out with, within,
in character.
I have no
issue sending lucid tricks off with you, but I
believe it would be better to have some more
armed and
dangerous support.
Bethael,
why don't you escort the two of them
to the medbay and see if we can't learn
anything about the afflictions of our
wounded menials?
I will...
He will kind of cautiously look
over at Byzantium and Lyphos,
presumably reverberating with
mischief and agonizing torture.
Lyphos interrupts you by just, like,
as if cutting the conversation with his hand,
going like, sending a dog to investigate.
No.
I will go with them.
I shall gain the knowledge
of this situation and return triumphant,
for I am Lyphos
the Great, and I
shall ascend this hunt
other than you all.
Come with me.
And then, of course, Lyphos will grab
Yevgeny and just drag him with him as he goes to the medbay.
Okay.
Okay.
I'll see the three of you later.
I'm being taken away now. Goodbye.
And I'm sure you don't want to keep the dog from its hunt.
Ha!
Don't bark at the...
Don't bark at the wrong people. Better you...
You might get put down.
Oh, I think I'm barking at the right people.
I'd love to see you try.
Lucitrix.
Lucitrix, you have my permission to follow him,
and you have my authority to stop
Lyphos in the event he tries to do
something untoward towards
Yevgeny.
I don't imagine he will, but...
Fair warning.
He's going to look at Lyphos as he says that,
Lyphos is not looking at him.
He's just walking down the hall,
dragging Hoki's character.
Like a sack of potatoes
over the shoulder.
My boy.
I appreciate this,
because it's like,
if the Space Marine tries to do something bad,
you stop them, little fucking
gremlin mortal with like
less than 20 in most cases.
Like, you got this!
I believe in you!
You got this, girl! So fucking good!
No, no, no, allow me.
She has the ability
to stop him. She has like
10 blight grenades on her.
I explode her with my
mind.
Yeah.
She knows what she's about.
Go off like fucking Resident Evil 3.
Yeah, she knows what she's about.
It'll be fine.
She has Cephas' permission. It's fine.
Well, don't do that.
She's going to blow up Yevgeny.
That's my insurance.
True.
She has permission to blow up
whoever disrespects whatever.
Anyway, now I'm
stuck with Byzantium Bethael.
You're welcome. Enjoy.
I'm on my way to misery
to happiness to thee.
Byzantium, would you like to
secretly guide us to whatever you're
keeping from us?
Let me roll
a willpower check, please.
Willpower check? Yeah, please. Oh, of course.
Excellent. Son of a bitch.
No. I stop.
Cephas stands
there with you, patiently.
Bethael, are you going to go back into
tracking mode?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Byzantium got bored.
Another roll.
No, he didn't.
Yeah, sorry, Bethael, you're up.
Okay. It's just a fucking
string match between these two.
Stand there for the rest
of eternity, if you must.
We have
a hunt to get back to
Cephas. Would you like to stand
here with the noisy
one?
I just
realized that if
I fail,
then you also fail.
You think I need you
to succeed?
Bethael, I'm
quite partial to actually getting something
done, so if you have an inkling as to
where to go, I will follow along.
I am
though
the ship, as
you know, it shifts.
I have left
landmarks,
a gesture to one
of the horrible indents in
the wall, but unfortunately
that one
I thought was somewhere
else.
So,
I'm really not sure where
exactly we are.
Oh, give it time, I will,
I will.
Let me see if I can find something.
I just
assumed to.
Byzantii's like sitting there with the fucking
like GPS in his head, knows like
exactly where you are.
But fucking
Byzantii tight lips here is just like
la la la la la.
Yeah, Byzantii is waiting
for the coordinate to fail,
basically, and then he'll be helpful.
Yeah.
Understandable.
He's gotta wait for me to do like a
full lap, thinking I'm going somewhere
and then come back the other side.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
He's like waiting for just the
perfect timing on, alright, I'm going
this way.
Bethael, as you're like going down a hall,
like looking just to check the damage
marks, you see that there is
like one of, one of the lower
deck sort of medials
who's like looking around
very clearly, like
haggard eyes, like
kind of ratty robes.
You!
Me!
Yes, you. She looks up.
Hi!
Hello.
Have you seen
a creature
about
I heard that some of
your people
were attacked by it and brought to
the Medbay.
Tell me if you witnessed
this. And speak
quickly!
Like she runs towards you,
scampering, at one point she gets on all
fours briefly, like comes
and prostrates at your feet.
Oh, you've heard of it.
That place,
the glorious Medbay.
Oh.
I've only heard it
in legends.
Ah!
Oh, by the skull throne!
Stand up!
This is useless!
Did you see what happened?
Flather on any longer
and I will make your
bones a lamp.
Ah?
Yes.
Yes, of course. I did see.
I saw. I saw.
My, my great-grandfather
he was
a loader
back when we had munitions.
Do you remember those
days?
Do I remember those days?
Yeah, there was a point where you still had some
guns remaining.
I'm getting
distracted!
I don't care about your
grandfather.
Did you see a creature or
didn't you?
Yes. Yes, I did.
Very recently, in fact, but I hid.
I hid in the walls.
Okay.
Where?
So,
it was down that
hallway, not too
long ago.
How long ago?
I was crafty, I was. I went in the
walls.
And I thought to myself,
if you stay here,
they'll just go past you.
And I was
right. They did.
They walked by.
Who is they?
The most vibrant
color. What?
It's like, it's like a, it's like
my grandfather used to
say, the sun.
The golden sun.
But it was more of a yellow.
The yellow passed me by.
And I survived it.
Was it the big man with the shield
dressed in yellow armor?
Yes, it was.
I pick her up
and I'm going to throw her like a
like a javelin.
Okay, okay, okay.
I figured that this was
coming, so I have been like
very quickly pulling up like
generic stat blocks to be like
what's the best stat block to use? I'm going to
drop this generic token onto
our screen. I'm not really
attacking her. No, no, no. You're attacking.
You're attacking her. Look, look.
This is what's happening. I
I'm just saying, Bethael,
you're making some aggressive
maneuvers. Pucking this woman like
a javelin. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're going to have to,
you know, make
a little, little unarmed
weapon skill
attack here. Alright, alright,
alright. I will make
a weapon skill roll. Where's the
where's the token? You got
to put her in the camel clutch and make her humble.
Yeah. Many people are
saying this. It's true. Here we go.
Here we go.
Yeah.
I'll give you
three degrees of success. Okay.
33. She's
untrained in dodge.
Um.
But that's not going to
stop her from trying
to dodge. If she
rolls a one, then I'm going to make her
the next Disciple of Khorne.
It's fair, right?
Oh! She rolled the equalizer!
She rolled an eight!
Which is still a failure.
Which is a failure. Which is a failure
by one. By one!
She failed
by one. You pick,
you pick this woman up,
and she's like,
and you throw
her, and she's like,
like, just as she said,
I would walk the crimson path.
And as she proclaims her,
like, obedience to Khorne, she
hits the deck and her neck snaps and she falls down.
By the way, Xanthi, you watch all of this.
By the way, Xanthi, you watch all of this.
By the way, Xanthi, you watch all of this.
You know,
I don't want to hear it!
It's just, I say it
a lot, it's just,
Mathael, you're really
dumb.
And,
and now I feel
empowered enough by the failure of my
fellows to continue going
the right way.
Alright, come on!
Beep! Beep!
Sephis watches
by Xanthi turn to leave,
and as soon as he's turned completely away,
he's going to wordlessly beckon Bethael
over with two fingers, as though
like, alright, as long as we don't say
that we're following his lead to a secret,
he won't be smart enough to realize
that we're following him to a secret.
Bethael is going to shuffle
up to Sephis and
just gesture for him to go.
And they go.
Alright, so we
cut to our other group.
Making their way
toward the
medbay. Now,
I have a question.
I have a question here.
This is going to
mostly be for
Lyphos. Soran,
you have two mortals with you.
Is there small talk happening
as you're walking down these halls?
As you're dragging Evgeny
like Lucitrix is following you on?
Like, what is the small
talk on this, I don't know, roughly like
30 minute
walk you're going on? Between whom
and whom, because I could tell you what Lucitrix
is doing, but I don't know what Lyphos
I want to know what Lyphos
I want Lyphos to set the stage
here.
I guess he'll address both of them and go like
So, how do you like it
on the ship?
Excellent.
Excellent, thank you.
That's exactly what I was hoping.
I love his idea of
small talk. I'm obsessed
with Lyphos.
I have to
say, after seeing the
myriad horrors already,
translating into
immaterial space, being
told to go down the
evil ass murder hallway
meeting a
renegade, I didn't think
we would even see one of those that wouldn't
just be
how do I say this? More like
you, or
Byzante
or Bethael
or Cephis, or
this one
It could be worse, I've
done worse duties on imperial
vessels before, but I have
to say for the sheer size of this place
it does leave a little bit
to be desired.
And what about you, Lucetrix?
How do you like it on this ship?
Being transferred over has been pleasant
work for the cleaved.
My lords are pleasantly
surprised that I have remained
and not been killed, but
to be truthful, it's not quite so bad.
Lovely ship.
I'm glad you both are having a wonderful time.
Yeah,
I'm not sure.
I've got to be
scared when the Tzeentchian's being
nice. I gotta get scared.
Oh, come
sibling, it's not quite so
bad. You'll come to understand
it, provided of course you
supplicate properly
to the gods for safety.
But look, you have freedom.
Far better than
your past life.
You've been on a ship before, is that right? You're free!
You grabbed me by the
neck and dragged me down this hallway. I don't
have a choice. It was guidance,
my friend, guidance to a better
way. Now look!
You're still dragging him!
You're still fucking dragging him!
Is that what you call this hand of yours, big man?
Absolutely.
You shall be brought
to the right way. Now look!
He kind of grabs the back of your armor and
lifts you to like a
defaced imperial eagle symbol.
He's like, look upon
it. You can do anything you want
to it. No one
to shoot you in the back of the head for even
daring look at it the wrong way.
You can spit on it, defecate
on it. You can rip it from the
wall and use it as a plate.
Whatever you want, you are free.
Thurston,
is this Achilla defaced
or intact? It's been
like pretty cut up and like
clearly been shot. There is at least
one dent on it that you are very
sure came from a chain hammer.
And there are not many people who wield chain
hammers.
Rightfully so. It almost feels
like this Achilla
in particular is like a rite of passage.
That...
No, that couldn't be him.
Does everybody who
comes down this hallway just
take a few swings at it, a few pot shots
and makes their
own mark? Almost like a graffiti
wall on Hive City.
I mean, I've spat on it,
so...
You can make your own mark in the world.
Instead of being just a
cog in a machine, you get to be
a cog in a better machine
that allows you to use
great things.
What?
You get to be a cog in a machine.
You can be a cog
in a really cool machine.
Hearing, hearing Lyphos.
Spikes and flames on it
and it has a cool horn that goes
da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Hearing Lyphos just
fucking go off like,
you could be a cog in a different
machine that does different things,
but is cooler, makes
Lucitrix's mouth like
close and curl very slightly
as she realizes that the Zetian
she's with is not
very persuasive about this.
You can set up at five
or six doors, or
just one.
And that one has everything
you need.
Thanks, my Zant. You can go back to the hunt.
Yeah, no problem, bro.
Yeah, take a left that way. Bye, everyone.
Yeah, no problem.
Wait, wait, wait.
Yeah.
Are these asides that we have out of
character, like actual visions playing
out in Lyphos' head?
Yeah.
Does Lyphos have
pyro vision from TF2?
Lyphos has
Lyphos has
mental illness.
Yes. Oh, who doesn't?
He has autism. After the first session, who doesn't?
He thinks he's a wizard.
That's true.
Okay, buddy.
What? He's being honest with you.
He's just sick.
He puts you down, finally, so you have
your own free will to differ about.
And...
And the Aquila, like, looms,
looms in front of you,
and you feel like, I don't know, that
the background around you, Yevgeny, is
darkened a bit. And like, if this were like
a Telltale game, there would be
like an option menu that appears
of like, deface the
Aquila, or don't deface
the Aquila, that is now
put in front of you.
Yevgeny'll see this,
and wanting to keep his
head on his shoulders, or
at the least keep it intact
maybe one day more,
will take the initiative.
He'll unholster his
best quality lasgun.
Flick a few switches on the
side, just
starts warming up like a microwave about to
explode.
I figure...
When a necrobunda, I
suppose, and
shoulders the
las rifle, and
begins sustaining fire on the
Aquila, as if to, with sustained fire,
cut a
line right through
the center of it. Okay.
Cool. Give me like a, just a
point-blank shot on it.
Sure.
Point-blank shot from a lasgun.
That's gonna do a whole lot of deadly.
Lasgun, you say?
Yes.
Now's your chance
to shoot a lasgun.
Yeah, perfect. That is...
42.
Yeah, you scorch like a
line down it as you do so.
You feel like
some weight lifted off your
shoulder, but also like,
you've done something bad
that you shouldn't have.
It's a strange feeling, but it's a feeling that gives
you two corruption points and one infamy
point. Ooh!
Wow. How do you feel,
knowing that no one
stopped you?
In a way, it...
It doesn't feel
that bad. I guess
me being free of the...
I'm sorry, I couldn't cut you off there. No, no, no,
it's alright, I just grabbed the
thing I was gonna do anyway. It's alright, continue.
In a way, what you said
somewhat
recontextualized the last
better part of two decades
of my life. Being able to
look at this
symbol that I once thought was
well,
the best
example of order and righteousness
that I would ever know,
all the while
being happy
to smile
with the gun
pointed at the back of my head, knowing that
was the right thing.
The right reaction.
Something about that just
isn't right, and
it's weird, having gone this long and not
realizing that.
My foes looks to Lucitrix
for a comment
as Evgeny's having
his revelation. It takes
some getting used to, brother.
It's not easy for everyone to
get involved with it. Some take
to it faster, and others are
slow.
But,
regrettably, you don't have
a choice, but you're not going to be
rushed
for an answer.
Well, you should hope not.
After all, I'd rather not
end up
oozing pus
with a scorpion tail and all that
nonsense right away.
Again, no offense.
None taken. I'm aware of what I
am now. It's
very different to what I was
when I came aboard the ship.
But, you
come to appreciate
the changes in certain
ways. Not to steal
your thunder.
Lord Lyphos.
Lyphos beams
at the mention of lord.
He's like, that's right.
He's taking the grand
deus wizard thing. I'm trying to implement
the disorder more.
You're doing a very good
job. Yes.
She'll, like, put out
a hand, and if
provided Yevgeny does not cringe
away from the foul, slimy
hand that's in a glove, admittedly,
she'll try to pat
him on the shoulder in a camaraderie-
esque way. No,
I don't think Yevgeny will
turn that down, especially since he's still
looking at the Achilles he's defaced.
The first time for his entire life.
You know the, uh... It's...
Oh, I apologize. Go ahead.
It's all good. It's a big
first step, but you've taken
it. And it will be but
the first step on a very long
and hopefully storied and fruitful
journey. I hope so.
Well, I
hope my journey leads me to better places
and at least those
who... If Yevgeny
thinks back to what happened on that
that bunker
on that fateful day, a far
worse outcome
for everybody associated
with them. You seem troubled.
We could
talk about it another time, then.
We have business to take care of
on behalf of our, um...
Our betters.
Of course.
Yes, I do
suppose we should get on with it, then. Right.
Uh, the infirmary is
where we're off to.
I'm with you, Lord.
For celebration of your rebellion.
And he will take... You know, like, the
head piece of the aqua... Like, the eagle
head has, like, the hole for its eye
kind of deal. We all kind of, like, know
what it looks like with the two-headed eagle. Yeah.
He takes one of the eagle's heads and, like, snaps
it off. Um...
Seeing, like... Kind of like in a...
I guess in a presentation way.
Like, I don't know which way you kind of cut it, but I like to
imagine that you kind of did it, like, top-down
in a way to where there's one
side of the eagle... Eagle head will be
kind of melted and the other one kind of still
the same. Kind of, you know,
visualize the corruption within.
And he snaps that part off.
Uh... And he hands
it to you.
I'll keep that as a token.
Even wear it upon
yourself as a sign
of your new life.
Your new found
freedom.
Thank you, Lyphos.
It's... You know, oddly
enough of all the interactions we've had this
far, I think that's probably the kindest thing you've done.
Thank you.
Lyphos will not nod or anything,
but he will continue to walk towards
the Medicaid.
Come, brother. Just carry on.
Takes you about another fifteen minutes or so to get there.
Not five years
on the ship? Oh, sorry. Yeah, no, no.
Sorry, sorry. Sorry, Erindel,
if you wanted to... No, no, no. She was
just kind of, like, ushering
Evgenia along to follow with
Lyphos. She doesn't really...
Much as she has authority from Cephas,
she is not, uh...
Unless she has been given the order to blow him up,
she's not going to do that.
So she's just staying low.
Okay, we stick with this group. So fifteen minutes
later, you reach the
medbay onboard
the carcass. It is a
fine, wrought machine
that as you come into,
there are orderlies, medical
servitors, the place smells
of antiseptic,
and almost
like mere moments
after you enter here,
specifically you, Evgeny,
you are
overshadowed
by a sea green
titan that stares
down at you with
glowing, with a glowing red
eye and then like a bionic
eye over top of an armored
plate. There is a top knot
of red hair that
kind of swoops down
the side, jangling of gold
and skulls on the armor,
and a data slate
that is shoved in front
of you as you enter.
Please fill this out.
Right now. I need to know all your medical
details if I'm going to look after you.
As this sea green
Astartes in fine armor
looks down at you and hands you
this data slate. Uh, right.
Of course, sir. Right away.
Um, Evgeny, you'll...
At the provocation
of the massive Astartes
before him, who he does not know, and does not know
again, if he will be as amicable
as the other four,
just begins filling out his medical history and giving
over his information to have his identity
stolen. The chaos, the chaos
space marine saying, please, very
funny to me.
If you two don't want your medical data stolen,
thanks for our spon...
Sorry.
That would be the craziest place
to drop like a fucking incognito response.
World of tech bug.
Rage!
Thank God I'm listening to this episode on my
Raycons, everybody.
Yay!
Hello, friends of the
41st millennium.
What's the odds of you getting your identity stolen
and murdered by a son of Horus
on the middle of a ship? Find out on
Holy Market. Hello, friends.
Holy Market?
That's not even related.
Hello, friends.
Alright, Evgeny. Uh, you've
got to fill this out. The, the, the,
the Sea Green Titan does not
budge, and it's, like, in fact,
is clearly watching you fill out the
information. And, like,
there, there's prodding at some points, like,
are you sure?
Are you, are you, are you
absolutely sure it wasn't
two weeks? Yes, it was two
weeks. You're not padding that?
No, I'm not padding that. There's like a
shake of his head on the scale, I don't
trust that. Okay,
fine. Off by a pound
and a half.
It's,
it's the stress. The stress adds
a pound, at least. Stress?
He, like, kneels
down, eye level with you.
It's, like, he's doing this, like, insane,
like, just, like, one knee
stretched out, other one, like,
braced back. Alright, I need
you to tell me when the stress started.
You see, now you're fucked up.
When I was born, you see.
Yeah, yeah, I wanted to say it. Well, my life
began.
In the 41st millennium.
Many years ago.
Do you mean the constant
fear of death, the fear of
authority, or the fear of existence?
Because there are three different
distinct kinds of stress, you see.
One of them is more recent than the others.
Um.
How,
how specific do you want, sir?
As specific
as you can get, I need to look after
you. Okay, it started
56 years ago.
Okay. How old are you?
You need to be very specific.
Alright, that's,
being a human in these times
is difficult.
Oh, you're telling me.
I'm going to prescribe you
this Edmilidocs.
Thurston, do I know what
Edmilidocs is?
Do you have, like, Medicare?
Fuck no, I didn't take
Medicaid because I didn't want to be the medic.
Hey, would you like to ask Lucitrix?
She's got Medicaid.
No, I don't want to know.
You don't, you don't want to
ask one of the fuckers
going with you?
I'll give you it at a plus 20.
A plus 20
to your check. Can I, can I
have her help him anyway so he doesn't
take, like, you know,
You can have, you can have Lucitrix
roll to see if Lucitrix knows.
I will do that. And then she can, like,
have that moment, yeah. I just don't
want, I just don't want Hulky to accidentally take
Ivermectin. It would be very fucked up.
That's an 80?
I really, the eights favor me
on all my rolls it seems. That's five degrees
younger. You know?
Thurston, I wanna, I wanna ask
how to roll because I don't have a character sheet for her.
She has Medicaid trained and
20 intelligence. What am I aiming
to go under? You're gonna give me a
plus 20 to your, to your check and that should
be, yeah, so, so
whatever your, your full score is, plus
20. Okay, so that would be
int plus a trained ability which gives
uh, how much?
Uh, I believe it's plus
10, right? You think? Uh, plus
10, so it would be, it would be that plus 30.
Plus 30. So it would be 20, I'd be aiming for under 50.
Yep.
Uh, she gets a
three. Oh my god.
You can, you can DM me with
Milidox is a pain killing and mind
clearing drug.
It first appeared
in the Inquisition background
book, uh, released in
2007.
Fucking withers.
Is, is Yevgeny showing any signs
of like hesitancy at
being offered drugs?
Only just to know
what it is. He's been, he's taken
meds before but he also is getting
a random script from a
chaos space marine
who is now looking after his health.
He's a little, he's slightly
hesitant. Chaos space marine
holding the perk four billion.
Literally!
Uh, she'll see that
you're a little hesitant and just kinda like
pat your shoulder and say
It's a
painkiller. It's safe for human
doses. You can take it if you
really want to.
Oh.
Okay. Um.
Thank you. Uh.
Thank you, Medikey.
I didn't catch your name. Thank you.
My name's Valthor Drask.
It's a pleasure to meet
you. I'm the chief
of Medikey on board this vessel.
Any problems, you come to me.
I'll look after you.
Extremely pleasant. Very fun.
Understood. He's just a nice guy.
Also, I'm gonna prescribe you a box
of those sticks and
if you need some, you can always
come back for some Obscura.
Okay.
Wow, a prescription for low
sticks? You're way better than my last doctor.
Beautiful.
You see, it's so
much better on the other side.
Man, chaos
fucking rules! My doctor prescribes me
cigarettes!
I prescribe you five
hundred cigarettes.
Master Drask, can I please get a re-up
on my low sticks? I'm running low.
...
Let me check. He, like,
takes the data, data slate back,
begins searching.
Tsk, tsk, tsk,
tsk.
You should've finished that pack
three months ago. You've been slow on
this. Well,
the lungs...
I'm going to prescribe you two boxes.
Oh, good.
Make those lungs as black
as the Legion. Come on! Get to
smoking.
Her lungs are full of holes. It's hard to actually
take in smoke.
I bet if you said that to this guy,
he would beat you to death with his barrel.
I believe it. That's why she's not
saying it. Exactly.
I like to imagine during this
Lyphos is smoking one, and it's just, like,
coming out through all the bones.
I like it. He was like,
Hey, Valthor, get me up one.
He gets a cigar and just boop.
Valthor, like,
looks up immediately at you
and is like, Get them yourself.
You know where they are. I didn't say that in
character.
We're doing a bit
out of character, my bad.
No, this is happening
in his head. It's fine.
It's all the spirits and all
the, you know, souls and
warp entities constantly passing
through. As Drask
turns away to get more low sticks for
Lucitrix, she turns to,
you know, leans in conspiracy,
rhetorically to Yevgeny.
I didn't actually smoke them,
but they make good trading with the menials.
Smart, very smart.
I guess things, some things never change,
do they? I can't really smoke.
I got too many holes in my lungs.
Ah, right, right.
He gives a little, like,
Homelander, like, smile of disgust.
Like, every time she coughs.
I was about to say, it's good
to be the world's first health-conscious
Nurgleite.
That would be fucked up. That'd be a fucked up
character trait for her to have looking how she does.
Dermaphobe.
No, Drask, like, stands.
She got a nose epic.
I was gonna mention, like,
it could have been, like, they have
the belief that they cannot, like,
they think they are too, like,
down to receive Nurgle's gifts,
so they stay as constantly clean as possible.
I'm not good enough to
accept the gift, so it's like, it's basically a
legion of Mr. Cleans. Like, you're just
not, but they still
give the gift to other people or something.
That's how you summon a Great Clean
One.
That miniature is fucking terrifying.
I love that.
Yes, still good. Great Clean One.
I'm so glad that guy made that.
Or whoever did, I don't know who did it.
It's so wrong. I love that model.
It's beautiful.
Like, uh, yeah,
it's smooth.
Smooth him. Someone's model.
Someone modded it in Total War.
Did they? Oh, have they?
Yes. That's awesome.
That's what makes it
fucking worse.
Is it just the model, or does he have, like,
I don't know, particle effects, too,
of, like, bubbles?
I hope so.
As I derail this entire episode.
Yeah, let's continue, because I'm gonna
immediately look it up. We're gonna derail this.
Put this Steam link in the comments
for this episode. Yeah, I'll put the
link there. Put it there.
Oh, please.
Holy fuck, the preview images, this is a nightmare.
No, no, no, we gotta play the game.
No more distractions. Serious campaign.
Serious campaign.
Serious campaign.
Okay, but
seriously, that fucking Great Clean One
destroying the demonettes is great.
Okay, anyways, welcome back, welcome back.
Okay, um, Malthor Drask
stands up, turns to you.
Uh, Lifos, alright.
Your mortals are checked out.
Remember to bring them back in a month's time.
Thank you.
Oh my god. I also have come to you
for some information.
I just realized what this guy is.
He's a Chaos Veterinarian.
Thank you, Speaker.
Thank you, Speaker.
You know what you've just
put in my head as a result of that?
I'm now just imagining Yevgeny and Lucitrix,
with their eyes big and round,
as he passes them like a fucking box
of cigarettes.
Thank you, Speaker. You get it.
This is the best character.
Lucitrix getting zoomies.
Lifos places mortals in a pit.
Don't you wait here.
Daddy will come pick you up later.
Serious campaign.
It's fine, it's fine.
You asked him a question.
Uh, Lifos, uh,
we'll readdress to that
of going...
I've
heard that you had a couple mean
use arrive
at your medical center here due to some
injuries recently.
I believe one of our
yellow renegades
brought them.
Yes.
Low colon brought them.
It was a tragedy, really.
But I've addressed it.
At least the ones I could save.
Could you please show me the ones
who survived and did not?
And tell me what you found.
Oh, I sent them back already.
I gave them a box of low sticks
and sent them on their way.
Ah, but due to your excellence
in ways of collecting and data
and cataloging information,
I'm sure you analyzed everything about them.
Yes.
They're...
They're a quarry in Sump Section
83.
Uh, Ken, I'd like to imagine
there's like some hologram
like centerpiece or something in the facility.
Yeah, like he can walk, he walks over to a
hololithic table as he says. It sort of
pulls it up. It's like
a diagram of the ship, but the problem
is that the interior is constantly
shifting. But he like
stabilizes it briefly and is like the...
I'm like...
Were there any evidence of this
talent on the bodies?
Any venom?
What type of marks? Were there
anything you knew?
Well...
Two of them were ripped
apart. Got that.
One of them had one of
their legs...
mangled like I've never seen.
Evgeny, write this down!
Uh...
What? There was a toxin.
I'll write it. A very bad toxin.
Um...
One of them was hit
by a snare.
What kind of snare? There's a lot of things
all at once.
Uh... Like a net?
Come we both are analytical people.
I know this because I've often
thought about using one to round up
the more rowdy menials.
What was it composed
of? Was it more of a...
Sort of a bioweapon? Acid? Something made
of sinew? No, I mean the snare.
Oh, yes.
I'm pretty sure the snare was made of
acid. That's...
What?
That's... How the fuck did you make a
snare out of acid? Come here, look at this.
Come here, look at this.
And he like shows you like
the corpse that looks like it came out of
the Resident Evil fucking laser
hallway.
That means he's cubes.
Yeah.
Correct.
That's how an acid snare works.
So that's not a snare.
That is a snare.
It would have snared him if it didn't
kill him. Yeah.
You know what? That is true. I look at the dead
guy, I think it killed him.
So I don't think that's a snare.
Uh...
I caught his leg and then it went up and kind of
the rope did its thing.
Definition of snare, a trapping device
often used
for catching birds and small mammals
or something that lures to
tangle the unwary.
This guy wasn't tangled.
It's not a snare.
If it lopped off his feet, maybe.
You know?
In any event, can I have
Lucitrix roll a medikey?
Yeah.
Any bonuses?
No bonuses.
Alright, we're looking at an under 30.
Hold... Nah, fuck.
It was lingering on the 10
on my screen, 70. That's a fail.
Yeah, there's just so much
going on here.
She's just writing it down, drawing like a quick sketch
of the chopped up body on her
slate. Now, I'm going
to trust you, Lyphos, to go deal with this.
I don't want to lose any more
menials. Well, the more information
you can give me, the more I can save.
Now it seems we're
dealing with an acid
snare, along
with various other things.
From all the
databases we have...
Tangicles...
Um...
What I heard from the menials
that survived is it looked like everything.
What?
There we go.
From the data we have
currently, can you provide me a data pad
from things that cross-reference
these descriptions?
Sure.
Everything?
Everything.
It's like, you know,
you're like, what could this be?
In the Warhammer bestiary.
It's like, everything.
You should have a data of like, you know,
beasts that people have found throughout the
universe and stuff. Yeah, this is very
strange. Like, it is a lot of different
things, and it like, it defies
analysis, which is like, you know, you're in the
immaterium, like when... Yeah.
You know, immaterial creatures come
on board, they can do fucking weird shit.
This is one of the rare ones where it's
definitely like, it's clearly some kind of
mutating creature. You're getting that.
Oh no, bro, it's a run.
I'll change my request
then, and go like,
it's like, on the date, like,
do we have like, just a local map of the ship
ourselves?
Yeah, but it's not, it's not hyper
reliable, like, because the ship
like, changes and shit,
right?
It's like, he'll change
his request then to the Valthor to go,
do you have an ever-adjusting map?
Something that can help me
track this creature down.
Well, I think if you go to this
location here, and you can
generally get there.
But when I get there, things may
have shifted. An updated map
that'll give me information, I can
follow a trail.
Yeah, yeah, here you go, and he like,
passes the data on to you, it's
the most accurate he has.
Excellent.
Please do what you can to continue to send me
updates. And if you see anything
else different, he taps the vox,
kind of like, where, it would be sectioned
in his armor. Vox speed? Yeah.
Please relay anything else
you notice, so we can save
as many of our pets as
possible. Oh,
pets? If you've got any lucid
tricks, come here, I have one more thing. Thanks, Lyphos.
He, like, kind of, like, ushers you away.
Yes, Lord. Yes?
He's waiting for Lyphos
to walk away.
Cool.
As he stands there, he's like, I do not leave
to your request. I leave
to pursue greatness
for I am Lyphos. They are
powerful. And he begins to walk
away, kind of flurls
his cloak as he,
as he goes to the exit, but then waits
for your giddy lucid tricks.
Aww. And, like, as he does
this, like, this, like, amazing, like,
strut up, that's immediately when Valthor, like,
leans down and is just, like, again
doing this kind of, like, crouching
demigod thing.
All right, you need to make sure you
are never on the front lines. Put
them between you and whatever's
there. That's how you're going to live, all right?
Aren't we supposed to
fight with them and help protect them?
No, fuck that. You do
not want to do that. What you need
is this. And, like, he reaches
onto his belt and he hands you a single
crack grenade.
Okay.
I thought he was going to leave that.
He hands you another
box of lipstick. Another one. No, he
hands you a single crack grenade and he, like,
stares at you with his, like, you know,
masked face, the bionic eye kind
of whirring. I need you to
know that
if things go wrong,
this is for you as much
as it is if you think you can win.
Nod if you understand.
Yeah. Of course.
Good. He stands up and, like, tussles your hair
a bit, Yevgeny, and then pats you,
like, on the back.
Dog
man.
Thurston, it's not fair.
This character's way cooler than
mine. What the fuck?
The bitter irony.
The bitter irony.
The son of Horus,
the not
Black Legionnaire, the son
of Horus Lupercol, living in
Love World more
than the fucking Slaaneshi.
That's right. And to make it worse, I'm
like, as you're leaving,
you see that, like,
he, like, he turns
and Yevgeny, you kind of
catch this and, like, Lyphos, you catch it.
There's, like, a little,
like, effigy
in the corner of, like,
the table that he
uses a lighter to set
on fire and, like, seems to, like,
whisper a prayer to. Lyphos,
you know that he burns effigies
of Horus Lupercol
any time that he thinks someone
of the mortals on the ship are in danger
and he beseeches Horus to protect
them. So there must be a burning
effigy a lot.
He makes them out of low sticks.
To be fair,
that is, like, the one,
like, notable thing
about the true sons of Horus,
which are a faction.
They burn effigies
of Horus.
They have to import the plastic
models of Horus
from the Horus supply and they
hopefully they have a fucking, like,
recaster and they're getting those cheap
because Horus Lupercol is not a
fucking expensive,
it's not a cheap model.
Uh, as
the pair of them walk back to Lyphos
and she sees that Evgeny has been
passed a crack grenade,
she kind of pats him on the shoulder
and seems to motion for the grenade.
Evgeny,
brother, can I have that?
It's mine!
I'll trade you some
smokes for it!
She, uh,
she will, like,
unsling the grenade launcher that's
been around her shoulder this entire time
and she'll just kind of motion to it.
Please. I only have
Lord Sephiroth's split grenades.
I have longed to shoot a crack grenade
out of this thing.
Please.
I will take
your request under advisement
and I will consider that
at a future time.
That being said, Lord Sephiroth
gave you a
bounty of blight grenades,
as you call them. Uh,
I have a glorified
microwave on a stick.
Yes,
but I can't shoot this in melee
or I will pass out.
Well, you can, it's just you can shoot,
well, I can tell you this,
dear friend, you can do anything
exactly one time.
Sometimes more.
Yes.
He's so right.
And as you have likely heard from
Lord Sephiroth,
we are to
come to our appointed deaths
naturally
where we're supposed to, and
I believe he would be very
remiss if I were to blow myself
up, pointlessly.
That is entirely
true. But you never
know, I mean, you're blessed by stranger forces
than I. I've
got a friend who
reminds me of
one particular engagement.
We had an Ogryn on our unit.
Poor bastard. But I saw him
shoot his rumbler engaged
in close quarters combat
with a fire warrior.
And let me tell you, he did come out
the other side of that, but certainly
not the blue chunks
of meat that was
that warrior.
They're quite like that, aren't they?
Less pleasant to be around once
Lord Nurgle
gets his hands on them, so
to speak.
Yes, very much so.
Ah, the Ogryns are wonderful.
The Unperverted Ones are truly
some of the greatest allies
you could ever ask for.
I heard one of them slew hordes. Sorry.
Go on! Fucking say it!
I know where you're gonna go with it!
I heard one of them slew hordes.
I'm thinking of a Wrath and Glory campaign. I'm sorry.
Do you two want to see
an Ogryn slay
Boris Lupercal twice?
There's two of them!
Two of them! There was
two of them!
I assume we're having this conversation
or they're having this conversation as we're traveling
down the hallways. Yeah, and eventually
you reach
back up with
your companions before
that.
Um...
I'm gonna make
a
photo read this one.
Me?! Reading?
Oh god, I never
learned how to read.
The warp is a vital
tool to us, a means
of communication and transport.
Without it, there would be no
Imperium of Man, for there would be no
quick bridges between the stars.
We use it, and we harness it.
But we have no
absolute control over it.
It is a wild thing that tolerates
our presence, but brooks
no mastery.
There is power in the warp,
fundamental power.
Not good nor evil, but
elemental and anathema to us.
It is a tool we use at our
own risk. Attributed
to the
based warmaster, Horace
Lupercal.
Who is not
killed by an ogre in this
deadly loop.
In this alternate universe.
In this AU fanfic we call
A Chaos Odyssey.
With that, um, Lyphos,
you manage to return
to your allies as Byzantium has been
leading them. It appears that
Byzantium has actually been leading them
somewhat close to the destination
that you discovered.
So when you come upon them,
you're making your way towards this
septic block of the ship.
I want Speaker to make a roll.
Byzantium,
have you found any progress
to our assailants?
Let's find out.
I have many secrets.
And then I will continue forward.
No, no, that's good. I appreciate it.
Lyphos, please don't ask him.
He will just
say that over and over again. We've tried
a handful of times and he just laughs
and he says that he's full of secrets and we
know that he's full of secrets.
Have you kept asking him until he told you?
What?
Ask him again.
It doesn't work like that.
Okay.
Byzantium,
do you know where we're going?
Say
pretty, pretty please.
Over my dead body.
I have many secrets.
Sorry, I'll...
No, no, no, hold on.
I think we all have to do this now.
Sorry.
I was like, is this a way to play
the system?
It technically is.
So,
Cephas will come up.
He's gonna, like, bring
Evgeny and Lucitrix forward, but he's
gonna hold them off to the side.
Byzantium, do you know
where we're going?
Ugh.
You people are no fun at all.
Okay, I think with a hundred,
we cannot ask him again.
Oh, hang on. Hulky hasn't
gotten a chance. Evgeny deserves to ask.
That hundred is fucking denial.
I'll allow it, but the
only way it's gonna succeed if fucking
Evgeny asks is on a one.
It's on a fucking one.
Yeah, Evgeny.
Oh.
Do I get a
bonus to the roll?
It needs to be a one.
It needs to be a one.
Speaker needs to roll a one,
but you have to ask the question
to complete the bit.
Yeah, Speaker has to
roll a one, but you, Hulky,
you have to ask the question to complete the bit.
Cephas pats him on the
shoulder. Go ahead.
Byzantium,
is there something
that you want to share with me?
With Cephas? Something
more specific?
Less, uh, nebulous?
Sir?
Damn.
That was Evgeny, not, yeah.
If I wanted to share it, I would
have shared it!
Now you're making
the joke
less funny.
So stop it.
Because I'm enjoying
it less.
Was it ever funny?
Yes! Hilarious!
Ooh.
Listen.
If you want
to follow in my lead
and gain some semblance
of my greatness,
you're free to it, as you always
do.
Do not worry.
First, the all-knowing
has a map.
He does the data pad
and will present it to his companions.
It is this way.
To the left, we were thinking of,
it is the right. It will lead us
to our destination and the last place
as the sailor was found.
Way to spoil it.
Finally.
You're just
angrily now.
See, Byzantium, it's funnier
when you're angry.
You know,
Bethael, I think
what's going to be really funny
is seeing
what sort of horrible
monster gets to
gnaw off your face for the
amusement of my felons.
We should
move quickly to meet its
acquaintance.
The beast is welcome to try.
I will take points, then,
if we know where we are going.
I know who I'm
rooting for.
Who are you rooting for?
The beast.
Oh, fair enough.
No, I thought you were going to be like,
I know who I'm rooting for, me, myself, and I.
That's right.
That's right, Jay.
Lyophos will
grandiosely kind of, like, motion
towards the correct direction, going,
Forward, my companions.
Good.
And I say we begin to motion
our way forward.
Absolutely.
All right.
You make your way further in. As you do,
you can tell that the
timbre of the ship changes.
What you find
is that the walls begin, like,
to be pocked and riddled
with acid scarring,
and then what appear
to be fungal blooms, and then
what appear to be sections of crystal,
and then even, like, sections
where the walls appear to be
bleeding through the metal.
Um, this is all normal to all
of you, except Evgeny. Evgeny, give me, uh,
willpower test plus ten.
Oh, okay. Sure.
Here we go.
You know, the bleeding walls?
Yeah, the bleeding walls.
Oh, yeah, sixty-six. Two degrees of failure.
Oh, okay. Okay.
Um...
You know, that's...
It's kind of...
It's kind of weird. You're kind of
weirded out by this. Um...
You know, everyone else is kind of, again,
used to this. It's not the end
of the world, but you're maybe seeing
this in a bit of a different light.
It's kind of... Can you roll me
a... Just a...
Just a d100
plus twenty. Motherfucker.
Oh, no.
The mental illness beam.
Oh, fuck. No, we haven't got to the
mental illness beam.
Shucks.
Sixty. It's eighty.
Plus twenty.
Cool. Um...
You freeze as you,
like, eventually cross, uh,
into the, like,
the intersection between
crystal and bleeding
walls. You just fucking freeze
in place momentarily. Like,
everyone's walking pretty determined, and you just
have, like, enough of a break that
you just have to fucking freeze and
pause.
The rest of you all notice this.
Yvianne?
Something the matter?
Can you give me another willpower test? Just
a straight willpower test?
Yeah, absolutely. Here we go.
Twenty-eight. Very nice.
You snap out of it immediately.
Like, once they kind of say your name and stuff,
you snap back to consciousness.
Oh, yes.
Sorry, I was, uh, just lost
in thought a bit. Be right there.
Very well.
It's pitter-patters.
Yes, everybody
else sounds like a refrigerator dragging
across the metal.
Dump, dump, dump, dump.
Byzantine.
Slow and purposeful. What?
I was like...
I assume we're still in the blood-dripping hall, right?
You're now
transitioning from crystals to
blood drip, yes. Yeah.
He'll kind of motion to it.
Mostly kind of like as a presentation that you're getting,
mainly.
He's just like,
Aren't the bloodfalls so lovely
in this part of space?
And he'll
have a hand extend out, and I'm imagining
it's kind of like those, like, nice
water fountain fixtures on the wall
on some parts to where it's just flowing blood
going down into a gutter. Oh, it's actually
like, no, it's like rents in the wall
and then they're bleeding like it's almost,
um, like wounds
on skin just in the metal.
Oh, gotcha. Cool.
He'll say, uh, he'll still
just kind of like put a hand on it and drag
it over so there's like an imprint
of blood on his hand.
And he'll just kind of like tap
Yevgeny on the shoulder,
basically marking the other
shoulder as, uh,
Lucitrix did
the one shoulder, he does the other one,
putting like, maybe like, I would like to imagine
there's like a green-ish tank
there, and then he puts a blood one
there. And
he just like,
Just look upon how beautiful it
is. Your universe
itself knows it's free.
A king to be
let out.
This is your world now, Yevgeny.
You get to celebrate it
with all of us.
Hold on a second.
Wizard, shut up for a second.
You...
You must appoint me as
Lyphos the Great.
And I will accept your attention.
Lyphos the Great.
Who dares to interrupt me?
Me!
By his anti-misfit, in the
midst of drudging down my
companions! I'm immediately going to
fire my sonic blaster in the direction
of the voice.
Sure. Give me a tech roll.
Absolutely.
Boy, I sure hope that wasn't a menial.
I sure do hope
it wasn't the coolest new NPC.
It actually was really cool. I really
liked him.
That is going to be a
48 for 3 degrees of success.
You smash it into
a wall that gushes open
with a torrent of blood
spilling out onto the ground,
reaching up to all of your
heels, kind of partway
up of your leg,
Yevgeny and Lucetrix,
as this, like, laughter seems
to come from all over.
By his anti-misfit,
oh, such a
misfit.
Congratulations,
demon.
You've become my next
project.
Lithos, how close
are we to where your senses
designate?
Ah.
I want to do two things.
One, address that question.
And two, may I
roll a demonology of forbidden
lore to kind of figure out basically
what Byzante has encountered?
Yeah, give me a
plus 10. Absolutely.
That is, ooh,
that's a 90. Four degrees of failure.
Okay, so with that, it's
enough for you to know there's some demonic
entity, but like, you still don't have a
enough information to pinpoint anything.
Yeah, if you speak anything random at this point.
It's just a voice, yeah.
I look upon what data I do
have, and I assume I haven't got any
vox communication, like, hey, this is updated.
You know, I've updated your map. No, nothing,
nothing new yet. In fact, as you look,
there's, like, as the voice is spoken,
there's kind of this, like, vox, like,
not, like,
disconnect, but like a crackle in the
lines, so to speak.
Ugh.
Well, Byzante,
misfits, the ever-depraved,
the ever-seeking
of pleasure, and the best
provider of it compared to
all of his kin,
is that way.
And he and Lifeforce will kind of
gradually, like, in a lovely
presentation, point down
one section of the hallway.
Yes, come.
Come send Bethael
first. I would like to
dine on such,
such a violent
creature.
Dine.
We have found our
guest.
Guest.
We have found
Bray.
And Bethael's going to reach down
into the blood on the floor and kind of
drag his fingers through it
and just run it down his
face, just like war paint.
Shh.
We go.
Is there
any way I could attempt to
lock onto them? Perhaps
if they're a warp entity, there's
some sort of residual
radiation from piercing the Geller field?
It's gonna be a scrutiny,
um, it's gonna be a scrutiny
test, but it's gonna be an opposed
test, so. Okay.
I will roll
a secretive roll
on my end, cause
I'm sneaky that way. You know, I've got a lot of those.
Secrets.
I know, I know, I know. I'm gonna roll
this super sneaky secret roll.
Um, and then from there
that should help us.
One sec.
Oh, but...
Okay.
You can, you can roll me now
a, um, scrutiny
test on your end.
Um, no, no
bonuses, just a flat check.
Alright.
I got a quote that I
want.
Let's pick on Erndell
for this one.
The eightfold path
is the most perilous and exalted road
that mortal soul may tread.
Eight is the sacred number, for eight
is the octet, the perfect
geometry of ruin and revelation.
And lo, the
eighth sin tears wide the final
veil and lays bare the primordial
truth before the faith.
Excerpt from the Third Testament
of Zolan Enki.
Cool.
So as you, as you turn, uh,
down the hall, Bethael and
Byzante near the front,
Lyphosephus, um, and the mortals
trailing slightly behind,
you, you come to
what is clearly a,
a depository. There are
waterfalls of filth
that are coming, like,
rushing off the sides of the walls
here through great circular grates.
Creates kind of a cacophonous
noise. They are filling into some bubble
like myasm, maybe
twenty or twenty-five
meters below you. Um,
the platform in this bridge extends out.
There's kind of like a circular section
of the bridge, maybe five meters
in diameter, um,
which as you, you start walking
towards, maybe
ten meters away from the bridge,
the bridge itself,
the air begins to twist
and turn, and
as it does so,
um, the air kind of
pops in the center.
Uh, for a brief moment
all of you are kind of blinded
by this unlight that comes
into reality, and then standing
there, in
the place that used
to be, is a hulking
figure, the size of an
ogren, if not larger,
of, like, bruised
red
brown flesh with
pulsating
purple veins
uh, but,
but what you see most of all
is this metal mask
that covers their eyes
and crowns their head with
wiring and cabling stretching
all over this
immaterium-spawned
creature's body.
Um, what you see is
this piece of art.
Ooh!
And as this thing
forms, all of you see
it, and all of you are immediately
nailed by its, like, twisting
form. You can see there's tentacles
writhing on its back. Suddenly,
um, Lyphos,
you are able to put together the
information you saw, in that it is kind of
an amalgam of everything,
with some kind of central
brain processing unit,
but a body that shifts.
You see its arm switch to a
cudgel of flesh and bone
one moment, to a razor saw
the next, its mouth opening
to drip acid
and then a moment later to
kind of close, shut, and
reopen with eight layers
of bloody, jagged
teeth. This thing is shifting
and as it
stares out at you with its
metallic mask,
Yes.
The Dark Apostle
sends his regards through
me. And as he
says that, I'm going to need all of you
to give me a willpower test
at minus ten.
I specialize in that shit.
I know. You're due
though, Speaker, you're due.
Uh, nope, that's an eighty-five.
Here we go!
Track your numbers of your degrees of
failure, that'll be important.
Oh, I failed hard.
Oh, I also failed.
I cannot believe that I overcame
that with a thirteen versus
a twenty-two with two degrees of success.
Just for audio listeners to make it
a little bit easier for them, I'm gonna
say your name, you just tell me what number you got.
Byzantium, what did you get?
Um...
And your degrees of failure.
I got a
eighty-five and I got six degrees
of failure. Lyphos rolled.
I got an eighty-nine with three degrees
of failure. And
Cephas got... That's awesome.
Uh, I got a... I got a fuckin'...
Sorry. I got an eight...
A thirteen versus twenty-two.
With two degrees of success. Two degrees of success.
And Bethael, you got...
I got a seventy-two
with four degrees of failure.
Yeah, sorry. I can understand it. It's like all of us saying it
at the same time. It'll make it easier for folks.
Uh, that's how screwed we are with this.
Oh, yeah, the hulky.
I forgot about it. Yeah, but you get hulky or my frickin'
Jodi, hang on. Ah, yes, the fur...
The furtive little man.
The little man. Hold on.
I need to see if she has willpower when speaking of...
Oh, and Lucidrix, too. That's right, actually.
That's right. I have to roll a one.
That's very true. Oh, wait, hang on.
Thurston, I have a question. If you put a minus ten
and my willpower is one, does she autofail?
Um,
no, because we need to know the degrees of failure.
This is important.
Trust me.
Two degrees of failure.
So we're looking at...
Probably ten degrees of failure.
Uh...
Yes.
Um, alright, so...
So we're gonna start with Lucidrix.
I got a fifty-five
for two degrees of failure.
We're gonna go in reverse.
No, no, no, no. We're gonna go in reverse order now.
Um, Lucidrix,
uh, can you roll me a d100
plus a hundred?
Uh, that'll be...
161.
Lucidrix's mind completely breaks
and she becomes catatonic for
1d5 hours. Please roll me 1d5.
Is that good? She's taking a nap for five hours.
Is that good? Oh, good. Yeah.
Okay, so Lucidrix just, like,
like,
seizes and kind of, like,
almost comically falls backwards.
Uh-oh.
Uh, yes,
of course.
Cephas is the only one who gets to make commentary
during this because
all the rest of you failed.
He's literally...
Ahead of him, everyone is catatonic.
Everyone behind him, literally unconscious
and catatonic.
Yeah, it's like, it's like Lucidrix is behind you,
he falls, that's the sound.
We're just following Cephas's, like,
like, eyes going over
everyone in order.
Uh, Evgeny, roll me a
d100 plus 20, please.
Yep, here we go.
That's a 71.
I'm sorry, no, 91 total.
91 total.
Cool.
Panic grips you. You flee from the source of your
fear as fast as you can.
Um...
You, you, you start bolting
down the hallway.
We'll come back to this.
Oh, I see.
Fuck this.
I'm out of here.
Alright, Bethael
the Brasshound, roll me a d100.
Alright, alright, alright.
That is a 37 plus 40 for a 77.
Okay, you are frozen in terror
at the sight of this thing.
You have to snap out of it.
So during your turn,
you can make a plus zero willpower
test to snap out of it.
Alright.
You just, like, you
I assume, though, it's, like, it's a bit more badass
than, like, frozen in terror.
I think you're just, like, locking eyes
with this thing.
Probably a little bit of terror
at least. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, gripping, gripping the hammer and, like,
grinding the teeth hard enough
that you can kind of hear the metal
on metal and just, like,
grrrr.
Lifos,
pull d100 plus 30, please.
That is a 35
plus 30 for a 65.
You have the same result
as Bethael. You are also frozen in terror
and have to just, like, stare
this thing down.
And essentially make... He's trying to be
confident, but he's, like, he's
rattling his bones right now.
Alright, roll me a d100
uh, plus 60,
Speaker.
This war by Zanty could clearly be hilarious.
Oh, no.
I...
scare.
I scare. A 24 on the dice
for 84 total.
Panic grips the character. You flee
immediately. You and Yevgeny
are fucking out of here.
It's gone.
Can I, can I do anything, like, use
an infamy or burn an infamy to reduce
this? Oh,
okay, okay, so you would like to
perhaps spend your infamy
I would very much not like
to be known
as, uh, by Zanty,
the guy who talks really big and then runs
away every fight.
Aww.
Yeah.
But it would give me great pleasure
to know this.
Yeah.
Not so tough after encountering Satan.
It's true,
it's true.
So,
what's your, um,
what's your, uh,
what's your infamy
score right now?
Uh, my infamy score
is 23.
Twenty...
three.
Okay.
So,
um, and what's your corruption point
total? Six.
I will allow you to
spend one, so normally at
this point all you can do with your infamy
is remove all levels of fatigue,
heal some wounds or critical damage,
or add a plus ten
bonus, um,
before you, like, roll
a test. Now, in this case,
um,
let's see. I'm gonna see if a
ten would matter here.
Eighty-four.
You know what? I will let you spend
one of your infamy points
posthumously, um,
to reduce that by ten,
so you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that you, uh, you are also joining
your comrades and are frozen in terror, but you are
not running away.
I'm so not scared,
guys!
I assume, like,
so all three space
marines just, like, freeze and Cephas is like,
oh, clearly they're holding their resolve,
this'll be a great combat!
Now we're gonna fucking go into this and it's gonna be
It's just so funny.
Okay, I wanna run down this real quick.
Yeah. I think the only person who
is behind me in terms of
willpower is Yevgeny, and that's because
he's a human.
What's your willpower?
Forty.
So, I think
I'm tailing the pack! I have
thirty-two.
He's just like, good, baby!
It's good. Alright.
I'm, uh, I'm gonna really quickly
do a f-
I'm just gonna
drop some little dudes onto
Oh boy!
Little dudes.
Select everything.
Put us into
one of these here, little
initiative moments, I'm just gonna
I appreciate you not even
I appreciate you not humoring
Lucitrix even being here, cause she's fucking
She's on the floor
He's out!
for five hours!
Everyone roll initiative, and then for time
I'll just read through the results.
Uh, Yevgeny
Roger.
Sorry, I've forgotten where I put initiative.
Perpetually, my initiative always terrible.
Go to the combat tracker and click the dice by your god.
Oh yeah, that's right, I forget.
It's been a while, actually.
So the order
is going to go
uh, this horrible abomination with a
twelve, Lyphos with an eleven, Yevgeny with a
ten, Byzante with a ten,
uh, Cephas with a nine, and then
Bethael with an eight. I will start with
this horrible abomination against the gods.
Um, it is
going to
spend an
action
to begin to mutate
its body. It is going to
make a
challenging toughness
test. So a plus zero
toughness test.
Which it
succeeds. Um,
you can see that
its claws
um
begin
to ripple with
unlight. Um, as
though it's made some change to them.
It also grows in size.
Um, so it's
almost like, uh, like
getting close to the size of a
dreadnought.
Um, that's its go.
As it super saiyans up.
Hey Lyphos, give me a
give me a
just ordinary willpower test.
Absolutely. I'm doing a minus
ten to it, because I have this sly hood that affects
the thing, so. It's a regular one.
Oh yeah.
That is a
with three degrees of
failure.
You continue to be locked in
absolute shock at the sight
of this thing.
I'm trying to like pose it in as if I'm not
scared, because I have no facial expressions,
right? So I'm just looking at it. Yeah!
And it's, you know, holding my
force staff, just staring it down, but
internally I'm like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Christ.
Evgeny, um,
I'm going to say that you spend the rest of
this round running to get
out of line of sight of this creature.
Yeah. Uh,
he's, this is fucking
terrifying. Evgeny needs to
Yes. He's going non-verbal.
He's leaving.
Mm-hmm.
We'll come back to you next round.
Byzantium.
Speaker.
Hi everybody. I believe you have a second
infamy point that you could
use in advance if you want
to right now for this roll.
Um.
Why don't you fill me in again?
Thurston, what is the roll? So you could basically
use your infamy
for this session, um,
to get a plus ten
on your willpower roll that you're going to have to make.
Yep.
Yeah, okay. We're going to do that.
Yep, good call. It's your thing.
Do it then.
Oh, praise the Dark
Prince!
Okay. I pass with
two degrees of success with a 35.
So you
snap
out of it. You
make it at the beginning of your turn
and you can act normally.
Ugh.
Well, I must
say, I've got a joke
for you. What's
tall, dark, and
about to be bleeding viscerally from
every orifice. And
I'm going to
full auto with my sonic
blaster.
Uh, at what range
is this thing from me? Okay.
It's ten meters away.
Ten meters away. That is,
that is not a point blank.
No.
So normal range.
No, short range. It's within ten meters.
I will aim as a half
action.
And I will let loose.
You can target the actual
image there. Oh, good.
Like the token thing is the image itself.
So you're good.
Let loose the song!
Alright.
I am going to hit
with a 45 and three degrees of
success. Okay.
So you smash it, starting
body, body, and then right leg.
Um, roll me damage, please.
Come and hear the song
of Slaanesh!
There we go.
Okay. Nice.
So that's going to be 15 damage,
14 damage, then 18
damage. And all of this
is going to be energy damage at pen four.
Okay.
I'm going to apply this and
hopefully it'll work. We shall see.
Alright. So,
Byzantium, you
unload full auto with your knife.
The first thing strikes at the body.
The six on your roll for 15 total
damage, you do one point of damage
to this creature. The second
blow once again strikes at the body, this time
bouncing off as you only rolled before.
The last one, however, is
an 18. That's going to hit the right leg.
That is actually going to do
a four
more points. You're going to do five
total rolls to this creature,
which recoils back from the barrage
you tossed onto it.
Damnation.
It's a heavy
bastard.
I knew I should have gotten a
Blastmaster.
Another finger curls a monk's
paw. See, if I got that Blastmaster,
there'd be two of this guy.
Alright.
Alright.
Alright.
Cephas, you're up.
Uh, so how far away
are we from this thing?
Just like two meters? You are about,
you're, no, no, no, no, this thing is like
super stained up on the, on the bridge.
So you are, you are more accurately
about, because you are behind
the front rank, you're about 11 meters
away.
Okay, I just, I want to make sure
because I don't want to,
would you say that the person
closest to it is more than
uh, six meters away?
Um, yeah, yeah, yeah, because you're all
like 10 meters, no one's got closer to this thing.
Okay, good. The closest person is 10 meters.
Yeah. I just wanted to make sure because
uh, now is the time for me to use
grenades.
Yes. You know, until it scatters.
Well, you know,
I'm more worried about, I can only
worry about what I know.
Yeah, don't, don't manifest that.
Uh, I'm going to
target him, and I'm going to
do I want to aim?
I'm not doing anything else, I'll aim and shoot.
Okay.
So, let's see, uh,
difficulty, any penalties
or benefits to this?
Uh, nope, this is
going to be a, a straight
up shot at it.
And we are in
short range technically, I am
half action aiming,
and we are firing.
Let's see how this goes.
That's a 39
for 5 degrees
of success.
Okay, so that is definitely going to
hit it.
Okay, uh, now
I'm going to roll
specifically damage on my
blight grenades, correct? Correct.
Okay, good.
Awesome.
Total damage, 2.
So,
your grenades do not penetrate, however,
it must pass a toughness
test to take damage from the
sort of corrosive, uh,
bile you got, um,
that is like seeping up around it.
So I'm going to roll that toughness test.
Alright, let's see what it do.
It will succeed
on its toughness test to resist
it. It like, it almost seems
to inhale the gas, like a
.
Uh, I knew that one was a little
bit under-fermented.
Well, that's all makes time.
Alright, Bethael.
Alright, um,
could I convince you,
uh, instead of
uh, rolling willpower for the possibility
of still getting to act this turn,
could I, perchance,
spend the entirety
of the turn entering a friend
z? Cause once I am
frenzied, I am immune to fear effects.
Sadly, no, because you
have to get out of
the, you have to get out of
the fear to do it. Like, otherwise
then like, cause there are literally things
that you can get later on that allow you to
just ignore fear. Um, okay.
Fear is kind of like you're stunned and you can't
build up the frenzy. Right, okay.
So you, you have to pass that
first. Gotcha. Alright,
uh, willpower you said? Good try. Good try. I know.
I know. I had to, I had to, I had to go
for it. Uh, is it a
plus, plus zero?
Uh, yep. Just a challenging.
Alright.
Nope.
Four degrees of failure.
You are also paralyzed
by the appearance of this
thing. Cephas, at this point you and
Byzantium have certainly noticed that like two
of your allies have not really
moved. Um.
He looks around and he
sees that Lyphos and, and
Bethael are standing there. Then he
looks back to see Evgeny.
Then he, very
displeased, well not like you can really tell cause
his mask looks down and sees
Lucitrix laying on the ground.
Uh.
I believe we're
Byzantium, do your best.
That's all I ever do.
Uh, you can
see that this thing is trying to like
mutate like more things, but
it stops, like its skin
is almost like bulging
to excess at this point.
It's kind of like slumps the shoulders.
See there's like cracking of bone
as its like whip tendril
like tentacles on its back
kind of stop jittering
as much and it hunches down
looking towards, uh, you
Byzantium. Um, and it
speaks, I will have
my due. I was
promised a sacrifice
and you, one
of you shall be that.
And you can tell that whatever like
souping up it was doing, it is now
done and it is about ready
to get to work. Lyphos,
you're up. Give me a
willpower save. Uh, you could
spend an infamy point to get plus ten on it
right now if you want, so.
Yeah, sure.
I'll go from 23 to 22.
Well, no no, it's not a permanent decrease
of the stat. Oh, sorry. It's you get
to basically use it, um,
two times per session. Oh, okay.
Understood.
Let me go ahead and do my minus
ten to offset the psychic hood.
Oh, sorry. I probably should have just kept that.
Whatever. We can get it figured out. Well, fuck yeah.
There you go. It doesn't matter. I got an eight.
I got an eight, baby. Kabam! Seven degrees of
success. Nice. It's
yeah, it's like problem of
of like shifting the
immaterial currents around
has allowed you to snap out of
it, um, and you can see that
this thing is, like, literally ready to charge
you. As it makes
its announcement and I snap out of it, I'm
basically like, like,
praise
each himself. You
have been blessed to face
the almighty life force.
Prepare
your doom!
And I have my hands out
and being all orchestrating
with it all.
Uh, just so I understand, like, my turn's now over.
I had to use the entire turn. No, you get a turn.
You get a turn. Oh, excellent. Uh, I
am going to then cast forth
my, my powerful
of magics. Uh,
I'll use one half of it,
uh, to get
out of here. To back up
a little bit as he's kind of like,
and he's, like, stepping
backwards.
I assume, I assume, like,
like, mechanically, you're gonna cast
first, then step back, but
like, I like the, like,
as you are fucking monologuing
and stepping back.
He's everything to me.
And, and I look at my fellow
players.
I'm so sorry.
No, you're not. I have to go
all out. Just this once.
Aww.
Just this once?
Just this once.
Just this once. You're not gonna do it anymore
after this.
Episode 3.5,
Just This Once.
Oh, God.
It's like, oh, my,
my doom bolt isn't here. Oh, hold up.
I gotta add my doom bolt.
My doom bolt. Cause I bought it
last time. Cause I couldn't take
the other thing. There we go.
If I remember. If I'm cheating, well, I'll just,
just kick my ass later.
I will. Cause I have, like, a thousand experience
in my thing, and I was like, that, that should be spent.
So I shall do this
pushing, so.
So it's like,
I'm gonna
shift to that table right away.
Yep, my favorite table.
Yeah, if I'm on any roll, I think, uh,
Hello, page 210,
my friend.
I think
I fixed the table roll thing, but we'll find out.
Okay.
I'm going to choose four
of the second reading pushing that I'm doing,
so it's a lot, and
basically, I point to him
with doom bolt and go, witness your
doom!
And I got, ooh, I
got a six!
Eleven degrees of success!
But of course,
I suck at phenomena. It's, uh, let's
have the good news first. It's
1d10 for second reading, which
for that is six, so.
Uh, I don't know if that's gonna be
enough for this, anyway. I rolled
an eight on that, so
that's gonna be eight penetration for fourteen
total damage. I am hitting
its body.
Uh, and
apparently, uh, I got a
cool thing, I guess. Uh, roll to replace
the damage die for your
DOS. I don't think that goes for me.
Unless this is zealot. I don't think that
applies to me. For some reason, I think that's weird.
Uh, regardless of that,
uh, that is what I do. I go,
witness your doom!
And do the damage thing. I don't know
if you want to resolve that first so we can get bad
news, then I can provide the further bad news.
Yeah, no, no, no, let's
do the damage. So the bolt goes out.
Um,
eight, um,
is, yeah, it's definitely
you're hitting it in the body because it's
psychic power. Uh, let
me just apply this
here.
Don't have a lot of penetration on
this, so, um, it doesn't
take a lot of damage from it.
Yeah, it's not. I don't get a lot of pin unless
I go full bore with these anyway.
Yeah, um,
so, so you can
tell that, like, you've smacked it. You've
shaved off some more wounds. It sort of
howls at you and raises
its arms up, sort of,
um, in, like,
annoyance more than anything. Like,
it's getting ready to fully do its
bull charge. Um,
now you can definitely click on that
psychic phenomenon.
I gold.
I roll. Uh, just to make sure this is correct,
77 plus 10 is 87.
Perils of the Warp.
Oh, the Warp. You're gonna roll on the other
table now. I gotta roll the
D100. That is going to be a
45. Is this correct,
Psychic Mirror?
Yeah, it is. It's
correct. Actually, okay, we got it right then.
Thank God. Alright, I'll read
this. Psychic Mirror, the Psyker's powers
turn back on
him. Resolve the power's
effects, but the power targets
the Psyker instead. If the power is
beneficial, it deals 1
D10 plus 5
energy damage, ignoring armor, to the
Psyker instead of its normal effects.
Oh my God!
That's good, right? No!
So, remember how we talked about earlier
how Lyphos had Pyrovision?
That 2 damage we saw
was what Lyphos saw.
What really happened, however,
is, um,
Let's, uh,
let's go through that math real quick.
Yeah, let's just, you can just roll
that 1 D10 plus 5. Yeah, click that
1 D10, roll 1 D10. It doesn't, it's not that.
Actually, no, it just goes back on you.
Oh yeah, that's right, this just fuckin'
goes to me. So you
are going to take then, we can go back
up, and what we can do is
you're gonna take
damage
to your
body with 8 penetration.
Oh my God! That goes straight
through the power armor.
And the 14, my
toughness bonus is 7, so I will
take 7. So you'll take 7 wounds.
Yeah, I take 7 wounds.
As you, like, steadily go back
and are monologuing,
and for a brief moment in your vision, you see
you do this really badass bolt,
and then, like, suddenly you look down, and your chest
is a smoking crater.
He's like,
I, like, I'm at, the funny bit
in me is I look down, and I do the Ace Ventura
thing, like,
like he had the spirits in his knees
in that moment.
That's the bit in my mind,
but in seriousness, uh,
as he casts it into the magic,
basically just as if it gets
warped into its flesh, and it goes
back at him,
he's like,
and I basically get blasted
by my own magic.
Uh, that's my turn. I'm glad I was
useful today.
No!
I love this game. Evgeny,
as this is all going on, you hear the
crackling of immaterial
magics, the bones splitting,
like, rip and tear sounds,
as this thing seems to, this monster
behind you seems to
grow in stature, you hear
the discordant cacophony
of Byzante's
noise blaster, you hear
the thunk and the ksss of Cephas,
um, and then you turn a
corner and finally have a moment to breathe.
You can give me a willpower test. If you would
like to spend, um, one
of your infamy, uh, here,
uh, again, it's not like a reduction
in your score, it's just a use of the point for the turn,
um, to get a plus ten
on this, you absolutely
I'll spend an infamy
just so I can get back in this fight.
Hopefully get back in the fight anyway. Thanks, Master
Chief.
Sir Sus.
Evgeny, mind telling me what we were
doing over there? Sir
pissing myself in fear.
Running from this fight.
In all your
pantaloons.
Oh,
so close.
Evgeny, you kind of are like
rocking back and forth up against
the wall now that you've turned the corner.
You're gonna need to, like, pep talk yourself
a bit more. Fuck.
It's just one
demon, it's one demon.
Cock it out!
Does he even have the willpower
to look back at what's going
on?
Uh, he's, your head
starts to, like, turn.
And that's where we'll go
to Byzantine.
This
is a particularly
irritating situation.
Alright.
Here's maybe
what we do.
I can't rely on my guns,
um, sheer
ability to pump
bullshit to get me out of
this one. But
what I can do. That is correct.
What I can do
is use the fact that I'm a
pretty good marksman and
maybe find an angle here.
So. Okay.
The weakest point on this
not very weak.
This creature has no unarmored
bits. So,
so I'll tell you because
it's visible. Okay. It's
the only area it has armor
is its head.
So hitting its head is
actually worse.
Alright. Then here's
what I'm going to do.
I'm going to
take out my
sonic blaster.
Well, it's already been out. How about that?
Eep indeed.
I'm going to steady it.
And I am going
to make an aimed
called shot.
Uh, however,
it should be only at minus, uh,
minus
ten.
Uh, because I have the dead-eyed
shot ability. Okay.
Uh,
I'm going to aim.
Um, I've
got it in here just pinged
as standard. I'm going to give myself a minus
twenty. Just so
it makes sense.
Alright. And
with all of that, maybe I
can get a killer shot off.
That is going to be a forty-six
to hit. I do hit the body.
You hit the body. Yep.
What's the damage looking like?
It absorbs it. Thirteen total damage.
I will do no damage.
It will absorb it.
Um, and as you
strum this,
as that happens,
this thing kind of
stomps its feet a bit.
And
seems like, like it's getting ready
to get close to you. Cephas, you're up.
Okay.
Um,
so my options
are, I'm going to shoot a grenade at it.
Yep.
We'll try
this again. I'm going to do another half-action
aim. Huh?
Uh, we're still at short.
Hasn't moved at all.
Uh, yeah, yeah.
It's like steadily moved a little
bit closer, but nothing, like
it's still within ten.
Let's see what
happens.
Sixty-nine. That's still
a success. Nice. Two degrees of success.
I hit it in the leg.
Left. The left leg! The hip
hit location of Prophecy.
Yes. Okay. I'm going to do damage
to my blight grenade again. Do it.
That's, uh,
nine.
So it will absorb it, because
it doesn't have pen or anything like that. Of course.
But, um,
it does have to make that toughness. Let's try that
again.
This will protect us.
It will fail.
So you can roll your
D10 toxic damage.
Alright. I'm just going to roll my D10 and you just
apply it. Yeah.
I'd rather you roll it, because it's fun.
Five.
Takes five wounds, which causes
it to, like, hack up
and
you can tell it just roars
out angrily.
I will have my sacrifice
that was promised
by the Apostle.
You will have more blight grenades.
That's all you're going to get from me.
You're only getting blight grenades.
Alright.
Bethael.
Alright!
Would you like to spend another inf-
I was dead.
My second point. Doing my best.
No!
It danced. It fucking
danced on that 30.
It did.
Yeah, Bethael is standing.
His hands are kind of twisting and starting
to ring around
the, uh, um,
handle of his chain
hammer and you just hear him muttering
something under his breast.
I'm sorry, Beth. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
The creature begins
lopping on all fours
towards you, the deck
reverberating. It is
closed within
three meters of you by Xanthi.
Blyphos.
It's not very good.
Blyphos,
seeing that Zynx himself
wants to try his
patience, he
says, oh, fuck it.
And he
takes out his plasma pistol and fires.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Let's see how it is.
As I prepare
my super ultra mega
gun of I'm tired of this
guy having a billion toughness and I
want to pierce through it somehow.
If this doesn't work,
I have another backup plan, so we just
hope this goes.
My other plan is to also
use a psychic attack. I did say
I backed up, so I'm not, um...
It's like, what
is the range of short range? I'm sorry.
Ten meter.
Okay. I think I'm now
out of that, so normal range.
Yeah, it's going to be normal because you
backed off last round, so yeah.
Got it. And, oh,
I can do, I can overheat.
I was about to say,
are you, um, because I think
overheat, like, is it
overheat or overcharge?
Let's check. Plasma...
Yeah, okay, so
maximal fire, which is what you'd want to
do. So maximal allows it to
fire, um...
When the weapon is fired on maximal,
it adds ten to its range, and an
extra 1d10 to its damage
and plus two penetration.
Um...
And that just
consumes more ammo. The problem, though, is
is that you can overheat.
So... If I roll
over ninety-one. If you roll over
ninety-one, so, yeah. Know what?
Which you're gonna have anyways, so yeah.
Dark gods are on my side,
baby, let's roll!
Alright.
I believe. I believe.
That is a seventy,
and I...
I do not
get it. But for the recharge and stuff,
I have special armor stuff to where
I don't have to, like, reload or anything.
Um...
I don't know if it's particularly for this,
for plasma stuff. Regardless, it doesn't
matter that much for me. Um...
Yeah, you have to reload. It does,
it does, um, it, like,
you can't fire it next round, because it needs to, like,
recharge, but you don't have to reload
the pistol. So you blast
a miniature sun that
this thing just kind of, like,
doesn't even have to move far, it just sort of
angles slightly, and the
blast goes off, hitting into
the hull. You actually see
this miniature blue sun
float there, reverberating
up against the metal for almost a full
second before it dissipates.
Uh...
That's gonna be good, because it's gonna give
Yevgeny a flash, and the
flash that sort of comes down the hallway,
Yevgeny, that's gonna be your opportunity
to make a new will save. Would you like to use your
second infamy point to really try to
make this happen? I would.
I would love to try to. Please.
Please.
Oh, god, please.
I need this. I fucking need this, man.
Oh.
Go, my gun!
No. Oh, fuck!
Nope. Oh!
It's okay, I'm scared too. You, like,
you do manage to get the fucking
like, wherewithal to, like, peek across
the corner, and you see, you watch
Lifo's mists with the shot,
and see this thing fucking loping
towards your comrades.
Oh. Fuuuuck.
We're so fucked!
Why should I keep myself
in that bunker?
Do you just look down at the crack grenade,
like, remembering what
the apothecary told you? I should kill myself.
No!
He's considering it!
Okay. Good. Byzanty.
Alright, this guy's
coming in to close with me, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
God damn it.
Uh, I'm going to have to put
my sonic blaster up,
and instead
I'm going to, uh,
uh, furnish
a legion bolt pistol.
Oh, yeah. Nice.
And, uh, knowing
that battle is going to be joined, I'll keep
my chainsword in my offhand
for now. Yep.
Uh, and I'm going to
make a semi-automatic shot,
and I will, uh,
double check
how the wording of a certain
of my beguiling gem
works.
Yes, it's him.
Okay, okay, okay. So it's in melee with me.
Um, can I get within point
blank, but not within melee?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. You could, like, step
towards it, for sure. Yeah, I'll take a
step towards it, seeing as I clearly have its
attention. Yes, yes,
look right at me, you
ugly mother.
And, uh, I don't have the, uh, additional
actions to aim, but I will make a
semi-auto point blank shot with my
bolt pistol. Sure.
Ooh.
For a 22,
which means I will hit him, uh,
twice on the, uh, two
extra times, I suppose. My seven
degrees of success, uh,
one's on the left arm and one's on the body. I'm gonna
roll damage now.
Okay. So the clattering of bolt
shells echoes through the hall.
Ain't bad.
Alright, that's an 18 and a
14.
The first shell hits it
in the arm, which it's loping on,
causing, causing some of its immaterial
flesh to flake off.
Um, it's still
coming. The second shot hits it in the body,
but seems to just ricochet off
of its, like, pulsating and
shifting flesh.
Fine by me! Come and
get me!
This is the thrill
of battle!
And that'll be my turn. Uh, Cephas?
How close is this thing now?
Um, from
your perspective, it's, like, five meters
away, and then, uh,
Byzantium's, like, four meters up,
and then, like, essentially there's, like, two meters
between the two, almost. Damn, so I
can't fire a grenade without accidentally blasting
Byzantium. Okay.
No, you'd have to, like, arc and aim
behind it and make a shot, but there is,
like, the potential it scatters. I'm
not gonna, I'm not gonna futz with that, that
error, uh, range of error is too
great, but unfortunately, my half movement
is only three meters, so I can't even get
close and use my power sword.
Uhhhhhhhhh.
Fucking, uh,
swapping to my bolt gun.
Uh-huh.
Uh, I'll just take a shot,
I guess, with my bolt gun. Absolutely.
Swap out the grenade launcher for that.
Swap out my power sword
for that, I guess, I don't care which. Whatever,
whatever makes the most sense, art-wise, I guess.
Whatever, who cares? Yeah.
Uh, so this is definitely short range,
uh, because I'm pulling this out,
does it take a half action to draw it?
Yeah, yeah, so you just
get a shot on it, so it's just a plus ten.
Ten shot. Go my bullet.
Pew. My bullet.
Thirty. It's gonna hit.
For four degrees of success, one location
hit in the head, great.
Oh, uh, yeah, roll damage.
Whatever.
I did roll.
Ah, whatever, I'll do it again.
Oh, there we go, just was lagging
behind. Oh, awesome, I love, uh,
eleven. Three damage, no damage.
Uh, yeah, so you can,
you, you see the, the bolt go,
it hits the, the helmet and
tinks off, like, you can tell that this
is, this helmet is giving it added protection
on its head. Um,
it roars at this.
Alright, Bethael.
Alright, Bethael, we're cheering for you.
Okay.
Look, the death of the
Warmaster didn't fucking faze
you, so...
That, that is true, that is true.
Daddy Longlegs here is just a little bitch
who's about to get slapped, right?
Oh, of course, of course, of course!
Of course! There you go!
Fuck yeah! Yay! Nineteen!
Alright. So you see that this thing is
like, like, like, to
your, to your amazement,
Byzantium has stepped
towards this thing and is firing
a pistol at it.
And, like, you're, you're, like, watching
the equivalent of, like, a fucking
truck about to run into him.
What do you do? And you get a full,
your full action, so... Oh boy! I get my
full action. Alright.
Um...
They say you spend your whole turn frenzying,
so you can't moo, correct?
No. If you frenzy
now, you're gonna, like,
you're, you're gonna play a game. You're gonna
see if, like, can this thing pass its
beguiling gem test, or
will it, like, fucking
smash into Byzantium.
And therein,
lies the problem.
But I also don't want to get
feared again.
Um... So, uh,
Warcraft 2 bloodlust sound?
Is that what I'm saying?
Yes.
Bethael is just going to, kind of
snapping out of it, just kind of
uh, um,
takes one hand off the chain hammer and slaps
himself on the side of the face a couple of times,
and then just SCREAMS!
And is gonna start
hitting the chain hammer, and you just get a frenzy.
And that'll be my turn!
Oh, hell...
Yes.
Okay.
Also, quick note, whenever you do damage,
can you see on, uh, Byzantium's
thing there, where there's that button saying
replace die to 5 to 7 due to DOS?
That's degrees of success. It's one part
that we're missing sometimes, uh,
because it's blanked on me, because
uh, attacker deters damage in step 4.
Uh, the result of the damage
total for all attack rolls, count the degrees of
success, so the attacker may choose to replace
the result of a single die with the number
of degrees of success from his attack rolls.
If you guys see that, that's right.
You do that. That gives you more stuff.
So, just for everyone else to know.
So, be sure to click that,
add to your damage, and then off you go. Sorry to interrupt there,
but I'm like, hey, for everybody,
let's watch it.
Alright.
Well,
this thing is going to fucking
charge you, Byzantium.
But,
I suppose it's legally entitled to.
It has to make a willpower test,
right? Uh,
yes. Let me get you the exact rules.
Uh...
It's a difficult will. I've got it up. It's a difficult
willpower test. Yes.
So it's minus 10.
Surely this demon's willpower
can't be that good.
Surely not.
Maybe it's a little baby.
It is! It is a little baby!
It's a little baby!
Little baby!
Um...
Yeah, so he rushes in and
stops and like
stares down at you.
Yes.
Look into my beguiling
gem. Let the pleasures
of the Dark Prince tempt
and suckle
your imagination
apart.
Do not let the gems
consume you.
Okay.
Lifos. He's doing the labyrinth thing.
He's spinning the gems.
That's right, I got three of the beguiling
gems in my hand like Jareth.
Due to it stopping, I would like to
kind of take advantage of it.
Kind of pausing.
To explain what I want
to do, and if you want to help lead
me through this to see what actions will do for me.
I have the ability Mind Over Matter, right?
I want
to basically take advantage of that by looking
at the environment around us.
Is there something onto the ceiling or
something that I could pull down onto
this thing to cause a crap ton
of damage, potentially. Like
something hanging. Infrastructure, maybe a
convenient spiky...
decoration that's above everything.
You know, or like something...
You could rip off one of the grates
and throw it at it like a fucking
disc, basically.
I don't want to do that. I want something that's
massive from the ceiling to do
a bunch of boar damage. That's what I'm looking for.
I'm looking to bring big heavy object
and anvil this guy.
Yes, but you're also on a bridge.
So... Fine.
You'll go down with the bridge and us, but we got
power and we're fine.
Okay, cool.
You could try to bring
down the fucking ceiling, absolutely.
Okay, cool.
Absolutely.
You know what I have to do.
Oh yeah,
of course. You know what I have to do.
Just this once?
Just this once. Just this twice.
Here we go!
As basically he looks towards him and he's like
just fed up
with like his initial
attacks didn't work.
His plasma gun just got done.
He's dodged because of the bull garbage.
And so he reaches
his staff up and has one hand
kind of extended and you know
pretty much his warp energy begins to surround
him as he goes, dodge
for this! And he like does a
pull down with one fist as if he tries
to bring
the ceiling down. He uses mind
over matter and...
Actually that works out because I had a really high thing in
sight focus. It's a 88 and my
target is 105. I'm good.
I'm going to win
and I'm going to put everything into it.
So with that I'm just like
FUCK YOU!
And try to bring everything down to it.
How would you like
this to be resolved?
Okay, so what is your
total psi rating
right now on this?
Six? Yeah, it's six.
So you throw 30...
I have the psi focus for the plus 10.
Well yeah, I'm going
the psi rating off the...
My bad.
So you're throwing essentially
the equivalent of 30 kilograms
so you're going to do 1d10
points of damage
plus
six
impact damage to it.
Okay. What we'll do here
we'll just use 1d10 here just to
click that button at six.
And that's seven.
Well my decrease is a six which is three
I can replace your one with a three.
That's cool, that's cool.
You bring down the roof but the
bringing down the roof on it does not
seem to
does not seem to
stop it. In fact, if anything
it maybe like knocks some sense into it
to try to like resist the beguiling
gem again. That's just flavor. It's not a mechanical
thing. But it's like, it's almost like
you've done this and all you've accomplished
is sort of shaken its head a bit.
But you know, you could maybe hurt it with the
psychic phenomena table. So let's find out.
Yeah, let's find out.
Alright, I got a 48 total
for that. Saying to Earth, protect
the ground suddenly shakes
and everyone including the psyker within a
5d10 meter radius must make a
routine plus an agility
test or be knocked down.
Can I just say how fucking hilarious
it would be that fucking Beth
Isles finally fucking
and you just
knock her fucking ass out.
Please roll
5d10. Everyone
within 19. It's literally
it's gonna be ever, it's even gonna hit
Evgeny because he didn't run that far.
Please everyone give me a plus
10 agility test. Well, I did step back.
I can't wait to face-ball.
I did step back. Okay.
Yeah, but your movement
is only
with a standard move
you're like moving fucking
10 meters. Piss.
I am gonna go ahead and give you
5 degrees of failure.
Yours is fine. Oh, it
looked like an 86.
Lol. No.
For some reason my roll
Dude, are you fucking kidding me? For some reason
I knew right now. I don't know why.
I think
I have like for you.
What the fuck?
Like I got the six. I know that.
Fuck.
Well.
Hold up. I'm gonna try something here
real quick. Hold up.
Which one is me? Oh, wait, wait.
Degrees of failure don't mean anything.
If I click this, let me just see what happens.
If this happens. If I click this
button. You're Bethael. What the hell?
You're rolling for Bethael. That's really weird.
Bethael again. You know what? Oh well.
Thurston, can I take the failure and Bethael
gets that success? No. I'll take the failure.
It's totally out. You zapped yourself
with the three balls. I do not accept it.
You need to succeed.
You need to play the game too. I want to take that
failure, Thurston, because of the confusion here. Okay.
Is that okay with you? Everyone
I think everyone
but Bethael is now knock-prone.
Alright. Thank you, Thurston.
As I fall,
I just raise a hand like,
Avenge me!
And they fuck them.
Oh, wait. Hang on. Evgeny, my friend.
You are now prone
in like,
across the corner.
No!
Oh, wait. That's Arndell.
That's Arndell. That's Lucitrix
continuing to remain prone.
Yes. Excellent.
Oh my god!
Please. Please.
The ground fucking swallowing him up. The metal
warping like mud.
I believe.
How many tests do I need to make now?
Just one willpower.
Just one willpower.
You're already prone. You already failed the fucking
falling test.
Jesus Christ, Hulky.
Nope. No!
Jesus Christ. I can't do anything.
You failed by two.
Hulky, um...
You...
You've slumped to the ground.
You are...
You are...
You are so...
You are just...
You're on the cusp.
You are on the cusp of getting back in there.
Um...
But you're not able to get in there just yet.
I can't believe Evgeny's having that dream
where every time you try to stand up you keep falling down
and you have to keep dragging yourself.
Oh my god.
He's waking up and then falling asleep
and then waking up and then waking up
and the whole time all he can do is look down
at the fucking grenade in his hands
and the apothecary's like
you have to decide if it's for you
or if you think you could win.
Like it's just the most depressing
fucking life by Zanty.
I am by Zanty
misfit.
You're prone.
It's in my...
Well, I don't have a mouth anymore.
Alright, I'm going to
get up.
Uh huh.
Which should be a fine action.
I'm going to take a look at this...
Did the monster roll?
Oh yeah, that's true actually.
You're right.
No, no, no.
If he's prone, I'm thrilled about that.
Yeah, that's a fucking great...
Let me...
I think I just click this
and yeah, this is it.
Apparently that rolls Beth IL for some weird reason.
Just roll its thing.
We are all Beth IL.
Just roll its agility test.
We are all Beth IL, that's fair.
It's a plus ten agility test.
Oh yeah.
Oh come the fuck on.
Eat a dick.
Look, you're actually...
You should be happy you made me wasted here
instead of on the beguiling gem again.
That's true, that's true. For audio listeners, he rolled an eight.
Where are we getting eight?
An awful lot.
I wonder if that has anything to do with the quote that I was forced to read.
Thurston!
I control reality.
It's all porn, baby.
It's all porn.
Here's what I'm gonna do.
Seeing the situation,
I'm going to rise to my feet
Oh for heaven's sake, won't you just die?
I'm going to do another
point blank semi-auto.
I tragically
do not have the ability
to aim this
because I'm standing up from being prone
in addition.
And I'll let it
completely fail
and get me a one degree of failure.
I, you know, I would really
consider using my infamy if I was confident
it would do more than one or four damage.
And you have to use it before.
Yes, that too.
Yeah. Alright.
That's me? Well...
Cephas?
Are you okay?
Uh, so Cephas is gonna get up.
Yep.
And I'm going to fucking shoot my bolt gun
at it again, cause it's too far
away for me to walk over to it
and still attack. So I have to wait.
So I'm gonna shoot it!
Are you gonna shoot it single shot or are you gonna full auto?
Or...
I'm gonna single shot again. Sure.
Again, I don't wanna hit
I don't wanna hit Byzantium, cause that would be
very unfortunate. That is true.
Uh...
I can't aim.
Cephas is trying very hard. He has an 18.
It's gonna hit.
It hits it in the right leg. That's not the head,
so it doesn't have extra armor there.
Nope.
Let's give it a whirl.
That...
is 14 damage total.
But it's probably gonna not give a shit.
Uh...
Well, let's see.
Yeah. Yeah. Fuck!
Um...
Oh, he's needy.
He is... He's... He's very...
very warp... warp-powered.
I can't... I can't use the thing that poisons
it because I can't... I wasn't
gonna hit Byzantium.
You can always... I like that you're, like,
your fucking, like, murder machine
damage dealer hasn't been able to get it.
But now!
But now! Now!
Bethael the Frenzied!
Um... Yeah.
Uh, screaming.
I'm going to charge this
thing. Uh, I target
this guy, right? That one?
Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. Okay.
I don't know if I do a small token...
token.
Uh, alright. And
I'm going to charge him.
Uh, I am Frenzied,
so I am gonna get that,
uh, plus 10.
Or, uh, it's plus 20 in the Frenzy,
isn't it?
Uh, plus 20. Uh...
No, plus 10. Plus 10.
Minus 20 to both. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, minus 20. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm trying to remember numbers off the top of my
head, and that's not great. But I will get...
I will get an additional plus
10 from...
the,
uh, skull totem.
Uh, I will
add another plus 10 to my weapon skill test
making a charge action, so that will be...
20.
What? Because I want to get in there really bad.
Yeah.
Wait. This guy.
Go!
Uh, I'm gonna give you five
damage because it's fast. That, that right leg...
I just imagine Cephas's
gun is like a tracer fire
that you lock in on.
We gotta get that guy's right leg.
It was secretly filled with, uh, with scary
dog pheromones for you to track down and hit
with your big hand. Yeah, exactly.
Okay.
Thank you. Alright.
Damage.
Not great. Uh, and then my
flesh render.
Yeah. Much better.
Uh, two with a five.
Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't...
Because you're using the extra two damage.
Oh, yes. I'm using the flesh render.
Which are actually higher, so...
Oh, sorry. Um...
Yeah, that's... Yeah. Um...
So that's gonna be...
Just minus three to the total.
Yeah, yeah. No, sorry. I'm just, uh...
But now I have to compare that
to the dice you rolled versus that.
So, one sec. Uh, plus four.
Plus four. So plus...
Plus five total. So 32.
With four pen.
Um...
Uh...
I...
I think I will need to add to this.
So, yeah. One sec.
See if you can edit the...
The 27. I forget if I got that in
or not.
No, I can't edit any of...
I'll figure that out next time.
But it's all good. It's all good.
Okay, so you're actually gonna do
18 points of damage
to this thing. It is going to
howl wildly
as you smash
into its leg. Uh...
With the chain hammer.
Alright. Yeah, it is
howling. Bethael is
screaming and just pushing
against this leg. Almost trying to, like, sweep
the legs. And, uh...
That'll be the turn.
Okay.
And now...
And now... It roars.
It is
no longer affected by the beguiling gem.
Yeah, fair.
Now that's just tragic.
And now... Yeah, I like how you're like,
Oh, sorry, Bethael.
Um...
This thing notices you.
Does it?
Yeah, it does.
I told you
I would want
to consume you first.
And, like, it is
a plethora of claws, fangs,
fists, tentacles, and other strange things
that all bear down.
Uh-oh.
Let's see if that, uh,
plus one toughness I gave myself
pays off here.
It's going
to, um...
It's gonna hit you, but it's also
gonna do something else as part
of this. Um...
It is going to...
make a swift strike on you.
Striking me swiftly.
Okay, so it'll only hit you once.
So what swift strike does is for every two degrees
of success, he hits you multiple extra times.
Um...
So you can tell that this thing's, like, claws and whatnot
are just, like, tearing into you.
Um, Bethael, it's going to do damage
here.
Uh...
It is going to do...
two points of damage to you.
You hit me on the noggin.
Yeah, on your, on your noggin.
How...
ever...
Uh-oh.
I need
you...
to make me,
um...
Do I have to?
A toughness test.
Like...
With a...
Let me double check here.
A minus 30
to the toughness test.
A what?
Yeah. A minus 30?
Yes. Well, that shouldn't be too hard.
Uh, three degrees of failure?
Cool.
Uh-oh.
You then take three more points
of toxic damage as, like,
this thing claws into you.
And, and you, you start feeling,
like, just blo-
like this, this burning
substance go into your blood
and staring at your face.
Yes! Yes!
Um, that's this
horrific thing's go. Lyphos, you're back up.
Let's see how I
can ruin our day today!
Oh, I believe!
I believe, Lyphos!
I'm sending him my
energy! Uh, I am
prone still, but, um...
And, uh, stand up is a half action
or full action, I forget.
It's a half, it's a half. Okay, I'll spend a half to stand up.
Uh, and I
will... I'm depending on getting plasma
pistol again, because now, by this time, I should be
recharged, right? Because last turn didn't shoot it.
Yeah. Yep. Let's try it again.
Make everyone feel safe.
You know, I shall be powerful next
time. And I
will cast gun and overcharge
it once more!
Yeah.
Here I go!
Okay, didn't... I hit!
I hit! I hit something!
Yay! Oh, thank god!
Yay! Alright, good.
Alright. Uh, let's see,
let's see how well we can hold this. You hit it in the fucking
right leg! Yeah! Right leg!
Die! We're getting that fuckin'
leg off. Uh, so that is
a total of 17
with a penetration of 10.
It takes five more points?
Let me, uh, let me double check. No, that's supposed to be
a penetration of 8. 10 is the plasma gun,
8 is the plasma gun. I don't know why.
It's literally in the gun itself
for pen 8, and it, for some reason,
read wrong. Wait, unless... No, no, no, no.
No, it's maximal plus... No, it's maximal!
Maximal gives us 10. My bad. I'm good. I'm good.
I'm sorry. Okay. There we go. There we go.
We got it. We got it. I'm stupid,
and I got there. It's five damage it takes.
Excellent. Yeah. He takes
it. His leg is, like, pulsating.
You see it starting to shift in your
shimmer. It's holding onto its
corporeality, but it is barely holding
onto its corporeality. Just like the
changer of ways, I change
my degrees of success.
Be purged
from our ship!
Now it's someone else's turn. Yay!
Oh, it's our best boy. It's Evgeny's
go. Evgeny and the crack grenade!
Evgeny, I believe!
It's a new
series on Disney+.
Evgeny and the crack grenade!
Will he blow himself
the fuck up?
But I choose Evgeny and the
crack pipe. I want to take the painkiller.
Take the pain away.
Yeah, totally.
Except you
can't take the drugs, because you can't take any
actions until you snap yourself free.
So...
Jesus Christ.
I'm never... Thurston,
I can't be free!
I'm stuck
here forever! You're, like, rocking
back and forth, looking at the
grenade. You hear, like, the
like, behind you, the sounds of
monumental, cataclysmic
history are happening, but you
can't bear to look at it anymore.
Oh...
I want to kill!
I want to... I can't even die!
Please, let him kill!
Byzante,
you're up. Hey, everybody!
It's me, Byzante.
Okay.
Alright. So.
The Guiling Gem is no longer working.
Yeah. However...
Sorry. That's
okay. I will use this opportunity
to
be like, oh, thank goodness.
Heh. And, uh,
actually, I've realized
something.
Hm.
I'm going to,
um, take
my chainsword that I have,
and I'm gonna
enter melee, and I am going
to support
this Coronate Scum.
Yeah. Because I have
double-team, which means that
I will be granting plus 20
to Bethael's attack.
We're cooperating.
Wow.
Slanesh
rushes to the aid
of their erstwhile
sibling, and I'm going to
rush on in. Um...
I mean, you're technically
in with it, because it would have had
to be for the gem to work.
That's fair. That's fair. So, in that case, just a standard,
um, half-action aim
with the chainsword.
Let's see what we get.
Betha two.
Six. Hell yeah!
Of six.
We're going up to the right arm now.
That's right.
Okay, here's the damage.
Uh, pretty bad.
But, I'll take it.
Oh, no, no. Okay.
Okay, okay, good. It was a six.
I thought I rolled a six and a one. Alright.
So that's 19 total.
Four more points of damage, tearing at its arm.
It's roaring.
Its arms are coming up. Again,
you see the deflects of, like,
acid coming down.
Um...
I didn't give you permission.
I didn't give you permission to look away.
I didn't give you permission to look away.
Alright, that's my turn.
Alright.
Cephas, you're up.
Alright, how far away is this from me?
Uh, at this point, it's basically about, like,
four, or five
meters. It's the same.
It hasn't now moved from where you are.
You know what? It's been stuck there.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna fuckin' full-action
move into melee with it, and I'm gonna
fuckin' wait for my next opportunity
to attack.
Yeah. Absolutely. You join
into the melee with it. Okay.
That I do, but I can't attack,
because my full-
my half-action is three!
Okay.
Um... Bethael, kill.
Yeah! That's what I do.
This thing's got a lot of health, so it'll be chopping a while.
Bethael, kill.
Yeah! Kill!
Okay.
Uh, same song and dance.
Bethael is just gonna keep hackin'
at it with the hammer. I'm not on
a charge move, but because of my good
friend Byzanteth, my
best friend, I'll be making that with
plus 20. Your best friend.
And I whiff it!
Oh my god!
I whiffed that hard!
Three degrees of failure. Oh wow.
Uh, Bethael is, uh,
um,
still deep in the throes of the frenzy,
but he's just kind of, like, as
he's moving alongside,
um, alongside
Byzant, he's just, MOVE!
And ends up just
kind of shoulder-checking
him and missing.
Oh my god. He's too angry.
This thing's talons
begin to mutate. They
go from, like, the toxin
into some sort
of, like, like,
spear, like,
talons. Um,
and it's gonna
try to stab you again,
Bethael. Yeah, that's fair.
Um,
yeah, that's very fair.
It is once again gonna try to
swift attack you.
I don't
like being attacked swiftly.
No, no, no, no, no.
As it's basically gonna
come at ya
with a lot of
attacks here.
Oh, that
will miss. So it will miss.
So its attacks kind of bounce as it's, like,
like,
roaring, and its claws are clanging
against you.
I will have your blood for the
Dark Apostle for my sacrifice
I was promised.
Uh, and it will miss.
Uh, Lyphos, you're up.
I always wanted
to try this. You know, I'm just experimenting.
Oh, beautiful. Oh, please.
Please do. Please do. I just want to see how a forest storm works.
You know, I just want to have a good time with it.
Uh, I extend my hand out and multiple
like things of
lightning go through
and he's just screaming
UNLIMITED
POWER!
Full throttle.
Okay. Once again. Oh no.
Full throttle. Oh. Well.
Okay, hold up. Oh no. Hold up.
Okay. Okay, I'm holding.
I forgot to put the plus ten
because I'm gonna
explain, right? It's already a plus ten for the
side focus, but I
because I just double checked this because I was like, I knew I had
something else. My force staff
also gives me plus ten
to focus power ten.
Okay. So that should be a success.
So if you're okay with it,
let me just reroll so I can get the
thing correct. So, so yeah,
yeah, yeah. So your target is ninety-five.
Um,
yeah, yeah, because you're
pushing. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure. Okay.
Yeah, sorry about that. Let me, uh,
uh,
maybe just adjust it here so we can actually
get the correct thing going.
That's a lot better. Okay.
Uh,
and the degree of success and stuff
like that. Okay. Uh, that should
only be one degree of success, right?
For the original one? Yeah.
Okay, got it. Uh,
so we're gonna, and we're gonna roll.
Uh, what's up?
I was gonna say,
um, because as we learned, you can do things
where you hurt yourself. I think we do need to roll
on the Phenomenon table first, so
we should keep that in mind. Oh, okay,
okay. Just, just so we don't end up
with another situation where you hit yourself with a
spell, and then we've, like, resolved
everything before you've done it. Yeah, yeah, absolutely
understand. A hundred percent. My bad. Yeah.
Uh, let me just roll that now so we can see
how it is. Uh, the Phenomenon table is seventy-two.
Warp Madness! A violent ripple
of tainted... Oh, no.
...tainted Discord causes all
creatures with a 2d10
meters, with the exception of the Psyker,
to become frenzied
for a round, and suffer
1d5 corruption points
unless they can pass the difficulty minus
ten willpower test. Blood
for the Blood God? Okay.
Roll 2d10. That is everyone, including it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Roll 2d10,
though.
Ah, fuck. Okay. Twelve.
That is, that is not enough to
get Evgeny. Oh my god.
No! No!
No, you fucker, because it would have
snapped you out of your stupor. Watch that.
Yeah, that would have made me be in the fear.
You would have been mad as hell. Well, I can't,
I can't let Evgeny do anything.
That's not right. No! Here's,
here's the amount of corruption.
Okay, two. So two. Everyone gets two
corruption, so I go for... No, no, no, no, no,
um, unless they pass.
Oh, I'm so sorry. So everyone has to make
the... I'm going ahead. Yeah. My bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so
here's how this will work. You're not rolling,
I, you don't roll one corruption. Here's
what's going to happen. Everyone's going to roll their willpower
test, except Evgeny, and you.
Um, I'll start with the creature,
and you will roll the corruption
each individually. It's not like a universal
apply thing in this case, because it's
like an attack on each of them. Yeah.
So I'm going to roll for the creature
quick, and this is a willpower at minus
ten. Yeah, sorry for getting that wrong.
My bad. I was going ahead of myself. No, no, no, no, it's all good.
It's all good.
Um, the creature is frenzied.
It cannot gain corruption.
So that's cool.
Um,
I need to double check something,
because I realize it might
actually not be affected by this anyways,
but I'll keep checking. Uh, let's
go with, uh, well, Bethiel,
you do still
have to make it for the corruption portion.
Oh, that's true. I do, I do have to make the corruption
portion. Yeah. Uh, and it's
a plus, a minus ten
willpower. I was a little
too optimistic there.
Uh, no,
that's a fifty for four degrees of failure.
Okay.
Uh, so, 1d5?
You get, yeah.
Alright.
Three. Enjoy three more points
of corruption. Oh boy, I need more
corruption. I'm at thirteen. What is that?
Thirteen. Okay, cool.
Cool, cool. Um,
alright, uh, Byzantium, give me
a minus ten willpower test.
Frenzy, frenzy, frenzy.
Oh yeah, I failed!
Oh, blood for the blood god!
You're frenzied. Uh, give me
a, give me a,
roll me a 1d5.
You got it.
Aw, just two.
You gained two corruption points. Okay.
That puts me up to eight corruption.
Cephas. I'm on it.
Willpower go
uh, minus ten.
Right? Yeah, okay. Yeah, minus ten.
Yep.
Uh, twenty-three
Oh, he's good. with his five degrees of success. I'm okay.
You suffer, you suffer no,
no ill effects. Instead by, like,
Bethael and Byzantium seem to be
feeding off of each other's
emotions in a symbiotic
way, and that now Byzantium
has just entered the same blood
lust state as this
creature. Um, so, so
one thing I will note is actually the creature is
unaffected by this, because it can never have
things that, like, affect
its mind state, um,
because it has a trait for that. So,
it is unaffected by that, and it doesn't gain
corruption points, because it's an entity of the
Morph. It's a demon. Um, but
It's so fucking funny.
Zeech trying to piss Cephas off so bad.
Fucking Pacwatch rip Bozo
idiot.
Um,
uh, yeah, but, but, okay,
so that'll, that'll affect. Now we resolve the
actual power that you did. So,
26 damage, no pin.
Woo!
Okay. I'll apply it.
It takes nine points of damage.
Yay! Very nice.
It has... Wait, damage applied to
me? Oh, yeah, I don't know why.
You, you probably clicked on Bethael
for that. You can click the revert button. That should fix it.
I did, I did. It should
revert. If it doesn't,
just double check yourself there, but...
Nah, I got it, I got it fixed. I will
apply it here. Oh, no, check your character, make sure it's
reverted. Oh, yeah, no, I see it. It got me. Okay.
Um, I have to double
check. So it's 26 raw damage.
It was going into the right arm, which is fine.
So, on the right arm, this
sucker has a grand total
of 18, so it'll take
eight points of damage.
Um...
Okay.
So, to the right arm, we're going into...
It's gonna take, not a lot, but
it's gonna take some critical damage, finally.
To its right arm.
Critical hit chart.
And that is
energy to its
arm.
Uh...
The creature is...
Okay, so the creature
would normally be...
stunned, but it is not
stunned in this instance, but you've dealt critical
damage to it, so now it's
looking really bad. You can actually see, like,
the skin of this thing is sort of flaking
off, like, particle
effects into the air. It's
screaming loudly.
Um, that's gonna be
These are così forces. Uh, 02, or
please you 2 get to play the game today.
Oh my god, please?
Yeah let's find out if I can do combat today.
Aww, combat...
is just, like, locked
the fuck in. Like,
back of a public bus
tweaked out of his
mind! And he's
trying, he needs
to do something!
Fuck. Yes! Yes!
He's gone. Good.
But that's part one.
Part two.
Part two.
I need to get up.
It's the two humans.
That's a half action.
It's the two humans at the superhuman party,
and he's just in the back with this passed out friend,
and he's trying to get himself back together.
Do you get a bonus for being prone when shooting?
In this game?
But he can't see the creature technically, so.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
He's got a.
He's got it.
He's got to kind of figure that one out a little bit differently.
So I just have because he's going to have my head.
I mean, technically, yeah, you can shoot around cover like I'd allow you to.
Sure.
Yeah.
So if you are prone.
No, it doesn't do anything to your attacks.
It just does to being attacked.
So prone won't have any effect on you shooting.
That's so you could like roll over and fucking.
Like, shoot at it or something.
I am going to roll over, shoot at it.
Okay.
Try and link some holes into it.
As always, I'm how far away is the target right now?
From you, it's about 15 meters away.
Oh, it's fine.
Nothing.
I'm going to overcharge, as always, and attempt to shoot it.
Do it kill.
If getting.
This is like, imagine you're.
Shaking.
Kill steals this thing from you all.
That would be really funny.
I'd allow it.
He's shaking so hard.
He's smacking his head like fuck, fuck, fuck.
Okay.
Let's go.
Yeah, we got to go.
Oh, you got a plus 10 for your thing.
Oh, cool.
Well, you can aim technically if you're not.
Let me, I'm sorry.
Let me, let me read it.
Just so we're all aware.
Look, before you say anything, a character is considered prone.
Anytime he's lying on the ground, the weapon skill tests me to know to attack the thing.
It's that.
Yeah.
No, I'm wrong.
It's stupid.
Keep going.
Yeah, but you can aim so you get your aim bonus in your standard attack bonus.
Because if you don't leave prone, you can sort of like cool man, roll over, look down
the side of your gun and try to shoot this thing.
Oh, happens hot.
It's a success.
Nice three degrees of success, so that is should be an extra attack as well.
Uh.
Oh, wait, no, because you did you make a standard attack or did you make a semi auto or something?
Uh, it is because you wouldn't get this.
Oh, it's overcharged, so overcharged doesn't give you an extra hit.
It gives you extra damage.
Hmm.
Yeah, you can click the standard.
The very, the very one that I'm messing.
Because which which gun is this?
This is your.
This is the best quality.
Lasgaun.
It's overcharged, it would lose reliable because it's best quality.
It cannot lose reliable.
Yeah, but what allows you to overcharge with it is my class.
Oh, the variable, the variable settings.
Oh, yeah, they're fired on overload mode, which is different.
Yeah.
OK, if OK, they may be fired on overload mode, which deals plus two damage and plus two pen.
That's all overload does.
It doesn't give you extra hits to get extra hits.
You have to fire it on semi-auto or full auto.
As far as the was the damage per additional degrees of success.
Uh, not the hits, just the extra damage per degrees.
It's like X or two.
That's what lets you replace a lower dice.
That's what lets you replace the lower dice.
Well, yeah, so you're overloading, so you're going to get plus two damage and plus two pen on this shot.
So roll the damage here.
Yeah. And if you roll under a three, then.
You don't.
So you're going to get.
Ten damage total.
Pen four.
However, your pen is going to go up by one or sorry, up by two because you're overloaded.
So it's going to be pen four and your damage is going to go up by two.
So it's going to be 12 with pens, which
is sadly still going to be absorbed by this thing.
Oh, oh, oh, he's meaty.
Yeah.
Oh, he's just sat there, turned over, cranking out laser fire.
You just smell the faint warp, kissed burning of meat.
It's like, fuck, fuck.
Come on, come on, come on.
By Santee, you're frenzied.
Dare throw me aside.
I sacrifice this in the name of Slarnage.
I'm going to make a feverish.
Anger.
Insane chainsword attack at this creature.
Sure, I'll make an attack and I'll have action aim.
OK.
And you know what?
I'm going to spend an infamy point to give myself an additional plus ten.
Oh, it's your second one or third one.
Second.
Actually, my third, my third.
If it's your third, then you can't.
Because you only had two.
You only have equal to the first number, right?
OK.
I mean, I had I had 20.
Yeah, I had 23.
Yeah, because it's only your first number.
It's like the modifier.
Yeah, nevertheless.
Do it.
Prince of Excess.
Oh, can I do anything about that?
So wait, here's the weird thing.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
For some reason, all of.
Your tokens are plus two meters above.
So it's giving you a high ground bonus, so that higher ground bonus
would actually be your frenzy bonus.
So you still miss.
Ah, no, because we're teamed up.
Does Betheyal have double team?
No, does.
Fuck.
Well, regardless, if you if you are devoted to Khorne,
I could give you bonuses, but I cannot.
Jess始.
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I can. If you can win first place, you can have Rough옷asr, fuck.
yeah wait wait wait wait wait yeah i see where you're cooking here um i see what you're cooking
um because i didn't add my frenzy which but you can't aim oh you can't aim under frenzy
because because all you said you all out attack which is a full action so you can't aim oh okay
it's a half action so then i should get from that all right so the aim basically counts as the
frenzy so then the question is is am i going to get uh plus 10 from both of my from from how much
i'm out i'm double checking the team up bonus yeah yeah check the team up bonus this is one
of those like any other bullshit do you have any other bonuses any other bonuses uh why one sec
oh um this is where we figure out allies
that's where i have to like ganging up um if you outnumber your opponent
um and we are three to one uh but alas because of its size it's currently not counted that way
oh sorry buddy
well that's me done you go to you swing viciously and this thing is roaring
by xanthi um cephas you're up you're in combat with it you're still in control of your faculties
so this is just wondering why everyone's getting so fucking angry yeah guys i mean
i mean yes but that's normal for you like he's like you also went catatonic
lyphos is going crazy slinging out heavy spells every now and then by xanthi of all people is
going into melee evgeny is like you know hiding in a corner his
own ward is asleep on the ground i'm gonna swing with my power sword yeah uh due to its size like
on the chart it says um like to hit modifier and stuff is that to hit is that to hit it on page 142
maybe maybe uh one sec sorry to stop you there and i was like oh well no i'm just what it is
i guess yes yes it would at this point
um so yeah i guess that does hit there you go now you can click your damage button yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah sorry okay okay i will i will uh uh roll my damage on my chain sword
my super powerful chainsword could be the blood icon on your character sheet yes
all right that is for 19 damage a three pin uh one second
is that to the head it was to the head
how is no one sec no it's not to the head it shouldn't be to the head
you rolled an 85 yeah so that'd be if that's wrong one sec yeah yeah because it didn't apply
the whole thing and stuff yeah one sec
okay okay okay uh that's just gonna bump it up the next thing let's
go the next thing in the arm chart
uh okay uh the arm begins to oh wait your weapon type what damage is it it's tearing uh this would
be rending lending okay uh okay excellent uh he suffers from blood loss which he cannot suffer from
blood loss okay
uh he was Erfahrungими
yes 3
dosto
from and drops anything held in the limb, which he held nothing in.
But we are up on the critical damage chart.
Woo!
Ah!
Yeah!
I'll see if Sephic is that kill shot.
All right.
Leave?
All right.
Now's your turn.
My bad.
Okay.
So, let me just go over this.
I have Boltgun in one hand, Power Sword in the other, because I can do that with the
bracing, the forced bracing, or the, what I have.
I have, I can do an all-out attack, but it's erroneously giving me the higher ground, so
I should apply a minus 10.
Right?
One sec.
Just lower your token down.
It'll stop that.
Yeah.
I don't know what happened there.
Set it down.
There you go.
Oh.
There you go.
Okay.
Hang on.
Let me retry that, then.
Okay.
So, we are looking at an all-out attack.
No modifier.
Challenging.
Yep.
Right?
Yep.
Then I'm going to take a swing.
Right.
And we're going to see what happens.
So, I'm going to take a swing to hit it, because it's large.
And like really big.
So, is that the plus?
Yeah, you should get a plus 10 to it.
Yeah.
So, there's your plus 10.
Sorry.
I'm just going to hop out of here.
Okay.
So, ordinary plus 10.
I'm just going to do, I'm just going to do ordinary plus 10.
Right?
Because I'm getting a plus 10, because it's big.
So, I'm doing a plus 40 on my thing.
Power Sword.
Go.
44.
Oh, there you go.
That hits the body.
Let's see.
All the damage.
A 16.
Penetration 5.
Hell yeah.
Very nice.
It's going to go on the body.
It's going to be energy.
Going to be up to 6 on the body.
Let's see what that does.
You should be able to click that button.
That should be right.
I'm waiting for a Thursday.
It's not right, because it has a special ability that halves all this damage.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, I can't use that.
Yeah.
I was going to be helpful, my bad.
No, no, no.
You're good.
You're good.
You're good.
It's just, sometimes with the automation, it's like...
No, you got it.
Like, shit's junk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um.
B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b.
Six.
Okay.
The attack wreaths the...
Oh, not the arm.
It's body.
Um...
Sent reeling to the ground, smoke spiraling out of the wound, knocked to the ground,
stunned.
Takes fatigues.
Um.
challenge so it will ignore the other two but it will have to make an agility test which is just a
straight agility test which it fails it is on fire oh as you stab it and cause like flames to burst
off of it it's still holding on it's like gasping basically um but it's on fire and like prone at
this point i've not finally got connected a hit with my melee weapon and i sent the thing
onto the ground and on fire that's al i i love the idea of just kind of bursting into flames
from a chain sword hit oh that's a power sword okay it's the power sword yeah everything is
chain weapons to me kill it kill all right yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna all out attack this guy
okay
so
smack him smack him hard uh all right and uh all out attack where is my thing oh here we go
all attack there it is then uh am i still getting the pluses from byzantia or is that done
yeah uh well you'll still yeah you won't get the the bonuses for the like outnumbering thing at
this point but what you will get um is a plus 10 because of its size and then it's prone so
you'll get well it it yeah yeah so you'll actually get plus 30 from that very nice
i guess i've made it that'll be uh 10 degrees of success for you
roll damage yeah barely
now you can replace those dice yeah i don't feel like rolling a second time so there you go
35 damage
targeted with four penetrations pen four
damn yeah one sec corn guy does one thing
oh god therefore i boom
correct i don't go there for ibunga uh yeah okay um
it's gonna have so this is gonna be maximum crit table
on a what type of rending weapon oh boy that's to the body please kill
uh the powerful blow cleaves the target from god's groin revealing its internal organs spilling them
doesn't have in organs like that so it just kind of like you basically like
um move this rending chain hammer across its body like spilling it open
which causes viscera to burst out um every one of you except
for you've gotta give me a challenging agility test this is important
oh don't tell me we slipped sliding off the bridge
yup earthquake
case
i would fail with 50 high and shy my turn again
vale i succeed Mother God
14 sephus succeeds can i ask you something
ğim
why my lowest rolls are somehow succeeding this is very good i failed in 85 degrees none of you
are falling off the bridge this thing like screeches out a death scream as you you
rip it open and its last thing is he will come for you the jacob as you like buzz saw it open
as this happens um that is going to be bethel's go this thing is dead lifos you are prone what
are you doing what do you think he's basically dying at this point right no it's dead what are
you doing i immediately i get up i look around my companions and i see the rest of them are prone
right except for cephas yep who's been stalwart for some reason just standing there to all of us
i look back to give guinea
who seems fine and i simply go like well there's a job well done and i basically and i kind of like
furrow my cape around as i turn around and start returning back from the hallway and as i kind of
announce my you know glory my glory you start walking away okay it was as unfortunate that
he met the might of lifos the magnificence they are a powerful sorcerer they won't
can be affected okay okay that's about all you're getting in an action cool you've getting what are
you doing i take your turn the maze yeah you don't get to play at all you're getting so good
and he's so good folks he's so good he can shoot so good for one turn oh semi-auto god
overload wait but it's dead no it's not no it's not you're just gonna keep firing at the
like the like dissipating corpse of this thing yeah it needs it needs to be dead for sure
awesome roll me an attack roll absolutely make sure i have a
instrument range standard semi-auto
is its corpse still large
oh
you're like you're now you're yeah you're just fucking firing like all around there's a laser
show above above your companions uh by zanty you are sorry evgeny you screech out by zanty
uh this thing is dead you feel the rage subsiding over you what are you doing
yes victory i have to say bethael you didn't perform half as bad as i thought you would
and then i'm gonna reach down and hopefully before this thing dissipates i want to rip the
uh horned helmet from its body as quickly as i can maybe it'll stay in real space long enough
for someone to examine it cool cephas what are you doing uh how much time do i have to do something
you have you have two you know your standard actions in the combat ground he's going to look
around and see what the hell the rest of his uh companions are doing because he's
a little bit of a pain in the ass
a little bit perplexed as because again he rolled really well on some of his worst stats
uh so he's just kind of perplexed as to what's happening with the rest of his
battle brothers and the two mortals and that's it he's just kind of yeah you look around um
it's enough for you to notice like everyone is kind of calm except for bethael give me a will
safe or a willpower test please yeah that's frenzy baby
oh no cool two degrees of failure cool make an attack on byzanti great
all right oh no oh no oh i'm sorry it's pvp gonna kill your friends galore i remember this
go my plasma gun hit my shitty inquisitor okay um well i'm not gonna wall out of this
well i'm not gonna wall out of this
well i'm not gonna wall out of this
attack and i'll just go swing regular stuff because i'm not thinking clearly
that's gonna hurt
byzanti you're like you're like looming over to get this fucking mask
you get clocked click the you know click the can i attempt to dodge
dead turn off you know what you can do for you yeah
oh you could yeah you can definitely go
could dodge hold on not only could i dodge
bethel make me a willpower minus 10 check right now
okay okay so this is a weird this is like yeah this one is weird i guess
i guess you can do that yeah yeah i guess the gem would work hit me with the jam
yes hey you hit yourself with the gem sure i hit myself with the gem uh willpower acid minus 10.
Minus 10. Minus 10.
Oh, boy. All right. 23.
I fucking love
this game. I fucking love
this game.
So fucking goddamn much.
I...
I love this game
so fucking much. For our
listeners, that was a 23, exactly.
All right, but I was dodged.
Okay, he's dodged. He dodged.
Cool, cool, cool. We're gonna
go into hyper fast mode here.
Okay, so now the fucking
chain hammer has, like, come... You've bounced
away by Zantylifos. You're up.
What are you doing?
You see fucking Beth Isle is swinging
the chain hammer. Yeah.
I simply step away
and cross my arms
and I watch the show.
Fuck yeah, Evgeny.
Your light show is
finished. You look down to now see
fucking Beth Isle going with the hammer.
Are you joining Team Watch?
Is there anything
visible still?
No, no, this thing is, like, dissipated
entirely. In fact, like, by Zanty's
attempt to get the helm is disrupted
by the fact that he had to dodge
out of the way. The only things visible
right now are, uh, four
stupid fuck-ass marines,
a sleeping plague cultist, and
uh, a hallway.
And some goo.
And some goo.
Now Evgeny will step out of cover
at this point.
Oh.
Is it? Is it gone?
It's just as
Lifo's is turning back.
Vroom, vroom, vroom, chain hammer
swinging.
I don't, I don't think anything's left.
Oh my god, we actually got it.
Um.
Beth, Beth, Beth, Bethel.
By Zanty.
Ah! You miserable
cocksucker! This is what you do when I
give you a compliment!
Thank you for making your four-up involvement.
And save Speedcracker.
You're very, very welcome.
Very, very.
You should be fucking thanking me.
I've got the shit on my armor that could
instantly break your chain hammer.
Correct.
We both lose.
Whoever wins, we lose.
Who would have thought
the Slaaneshi and the Cornate, uh,
attack, die, kill
violence. Yeah, that was wonderful.
By Zanty, what are you doing?
I don't know.
Hell!
Um, I'm going to, um.
Is this where we learn about fighting defensively?
I'm going to, uh,
take, uh, my,
my, my, my position,
uh, and I
think I will go into an all-out
defense. Okay, so
that'll be minus 22
Bethel's weapon skill if Bethel
fills her. You're safe. Cephas, you're up.
The fencer
stance is taken by by Zanty.
Uh, Cephas is just
going to...
I mean, is he next in line to
be hit? No, no,
no, no, it's definitely focused on by Zanty
now.
Yeah.
What the fuck
did I do? That gem made by Zanty a target.
Can I interfere
and attempt to intercept
the next attack going towards by Zanty
assuming Bethel doesn't get his shit together?
Uh,
I will absolutely
allow you to react to jump in the way
if that happens, yes. I'm going to,
I'm not going to leap in front of it necessarily
because I don't necessarily want to get hit.
I will attempt to, uh,
parry probably, assuming I can
do that well. Uh,
43 is not fantastic, but it's
better than my dodge, so I'll try that.
Okay, I'll, I'll allow it. Bethel,
give me a willpower, uh, test
at plus 10 this time.
Plus 10? Oh, yes, it does get cumulative.
It gets, it gets
easier.
Oh my god.
I got a 45 with a
turn of 43. So you will fail by 2.
Oh.
And then you will fucking
target your ally and attack
again. Yup.
Just screaming bloody
murder, bringing the chain hammer down
on by Zanty's head. Hell yes.
Uh.
And, uh,
with, with that, Cephas will try
to move his power sword in the way to
parry the chain hammer coming down.
After you make your move.
36. Which also has a chance of
Oh. Oh wait, uh. It sure does!
Wait, wait, wait, I'm making it a
minus 20, you said?
And it says I'm still getting
ganging up. I need to take that off.
Oh yeah, yeah, you're not ganging up, yeah.
It's because I'm there. Uh,
okay, so. I mean, you're still gonna hit regardless
because it's a 36 versus
fucking. Oh.
Yeah. You're, you're gonna
hit with 2 degrees of success instead of 4.
Because it's, yeah, minus 20.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Actually, before I intercede, Speaker, what the
hell, what is your parry?
Uh, I have a
good dodge.
Okay, so you wanna just keep dodging or should I
try to stop this from happening?
Uh, either way,
if, uh,
if you successfully interpose
yourself, you could break the
chain hammer by accident.
It is a 75% chance
of destroying the attackers.
But, if I
get hit,
then I do the same thing.
So, that's
the question, really.
Uh, I'm good to dodge. Uh,
Byzantium would appreciate your aid.
But, from a mechanical
standpoint, it does increase
the chances of us
destroying Odo Roshi's relic weapon.
No, okay.
My, my chain hammer is not that great.
It's unwieldy. It's not, like, a
great quality one.
It's not the end of the world if the chain hammer goes.
You have to buy one all the same, though.
Otherwise, you're going to kill Byzantium.
Yes. Uh, it's more important
that you don't die here.
So, I think
to preclude
you being hit at all, even if
the weapon breaks, because I think you getting
mauled by this thing would be bad, I'm going to try
and parry. Give me a parry check.
That's very kind of you.
Oh, it's loading. Oh, it's spooling
up. Oh, we got this.
I click the button
and it's spooling.
Parrying.
Oh, Lord.
I don't think it's going to work.
Go ahead, do what your the normal
roll stuff is.
Okay.
Slash R1B100.
Not letting me do that.
You're going to have to refresh, I think.
Yeah, refresh.
Awesome.
One moment.
One moment.
The foundry is fighting.
The foundry is the second monster we're fighting tonight.
I just like the second boss that Bethael has provided us.
We've gone for, like, four hours.
The foundry's tired.
Sorry.
We're getting the secret Bethael boss.
Hold up.
Hold up.
Hold up.
I'm getting some confusion here.
There we go.
All right.
We'll try that again.
Okay, ready?
Yeah, go for it.
Okay, we're rolling for that this time.
At 96.
So it felt like you raised your blade and Byzantium sees you
trying to, but it's just not in time for this chain hammer
to come down.
But Byzantium does get a chance to dodge.
He's fast as fuck.
Yeah.
Go for it.
Okay.
Not that fucking fast.
So at this point, click damage on Byzantium.
I don't know.
Hit it.
Yep.
Do it.
Do it.
Go plasma gun.
Do it.
Primany.
That's not terrible.
Do you want to replace that dice?
No, you don't.
No.
Don't do that.
See?
You can.
You can click that apply button and then we're going to learn
about Speaker's other bullshit weapon.
Okay.
Oh, nice.
Oh, great.
Great.
Great.
Is there anything I can do?
Well, I mean, we'll find out.
Let's learn about what rending five on the body does.
Oh, you, like, cause more blood to, like, rain around.
No.
Not more.
Yeah.
Um.
And then how does your thing destroy the weapon?
Um.
Byzantium.
75% chance.
I'm utilizing chain bandoliers.
Okay.
That will, uh, that act as if they are a power field.
So I assume that just the various accoutrements of my Slytherin.
Oh, yeah.
It's 75%.
75% chance.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%.
75.
75%
75%
75%
75%
75%
75%.
75%
75%
75%.
75%
75%
75%
75%.
75%.
75%.
75%
75%
75%
75%
75%.
75%
blood loss from this strike, um, like, in fact, you are almost, like, entranced at how beautiful this blow is, um, and as, as that happens, um, your, your bandoliers, these chain links that wrap around the armor, uh, catch in Bethael as they try to pull the weapon back, um,
and you can tell that the weapon is, uh, quite, quite broken, um, and with that, that is, the, the destruction of the weapon is enough to, to snap Bethael out of their warfare for, for the moment, and as the shard rains of the weapons drop down around, um, and you kind of slip into unconsciousness by Zanty with a fairly critical wound on you,
and that is where we will call today's episode, everyone.
Okay.
I'm so fucking sorry!
It's okay, it's funny.
I'm glad it didn't hurt you.
Thank you, everyone, for listening to this episode of A Chaos Odyssey.
If you want to support the show, if you really like it, patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration, or check out everything all about us at narrativedeclination.com.
Thank you, everybody, for watching, and we all hope you have a lovely day!
So long and farewell!
See you next episode!
Goodbye!
Goodbye, everybody!
Bye!
Groby!