Surviving Academia: Navigating High Conflict Personalities in Higher Education
In this episode of "It's All Your Fault," the fourth installment of the Bringing It to Life series, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy tackle the unique challenges of dealing with high conflict individuals in academia. Drawing from a listener's question about a bullying boss in a university setting, Bill and Megan explore the dynamics of toxic work environments in higher education and provide strategies for navigating these treacherous waters.
The Ivory Tower's Dirty Secret: High Conflict Personalities in Academia
Bill and Megan discuss the prevalence of high conflict personalities in academia, noting that the tolerant and helping nature of the industry can attract and enable difficult individuals. They highlight the specific challenges of dealing with tenured professors who exhibit high conflict behaviors, as well as the emotional toll this takes on colleagues and the institution as a whole.
Navigating the Minefield: Strategies for Dealing with High Conflict Colleagues in Higher Education
Bill introduces the CARS method – Connect, Analyze options, Respond, and Set limits – as a framework for managing interactions with high conflict individuals in academic settings. He emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, providing useful information without arguing, and imposing consequences when necessary, while acknowledging the limitations of individual action in the face of institutional tolerance.
The Delicate Dance of Leaving a Toxic Academic Environment
Bill and Megan address the challenges of leaving an academic position due to a high conflict colleague, particularly in the context of an exit interview. They discuss the potential risks of speaking openly about the reasons for departure, the judgment calls involved in deciding what to share, and the importance of securing another position before leaving.
Questions we answer in this episode:
- Why do high conflict personalities seem to thrive in academia?
- How can I manage interactions with a high conflict colleague in a university setting?
- What are the unique challenges of dealing with tenured professors who exhibit high conflict behaviors?
- How can I navigate leaving an academic position due to a toxic work environment?
Key Takeaways:
- Academia's tolerant and helping nature can attract and enable high conflict personalities
- The CARS method provides a framework for managing interactions with difficult colleagues in higher education
- Individual action may be limited in the face of institutional tolerance of high conflict behaviors
- Carefully consider the risks and benefits of sharing reasons for leaving in an academic exit interview
- Secure another position before leaving an academic job due to a high conflict colleague
This episode offers valuable insights and practical strategies for anyone navigating the complex world of high conflict personalities in academia. By understanding the unique dynamics at play in higher education and employing the techniques discussed by Bill and Megan, listeners can better protect themselves and their careers while working in this challenging environment.
Links & Other Notes
Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior.
- (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
- (00:37) - Bring It to Life: High Conflict in Academia
- (01:10) - The Question
- (03:20) - Signs of High Conflict Behavior
- (09:52) - CARS Method
- (15:58) - When You Leave
- (20:24) - What Not to Do
- (24:15) - What If We Snap?
- (28:23) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: A Special Guest!
What is It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People?
Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else.
They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life!
Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way?
In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid.
And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.