You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast

In today's episode you will hear from Mike Gibbons and his daughter Caroline Gibbons. Mike is the Directional Pastor at MacArthur Blvd Baptist Church in Irving, TX. Caroline Gibbons is the Literacy Coordinator at Forerunner Mentoring. We loved having them on the podcast to highlight the story of a faithful father engaged in youth mentoring as ministry. We hope Mike's story helps you to see the impact of being consistent and intentional in mentoring, and what it looks like to be in it for the long haul.

Show Notes

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WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

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SHOW NOTES

Mike Gibbons, Directional Pastor at MacArthur Blvd Baptist Church
Caroline Gibbons, Literacy Coordinator at Forerunner Mentoring


Creators and Guests

Host
Zachary Garza
Founder of Forerunner Mentoring & You Can Mentor // Father to the Fatherless // Author

What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?

You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.

We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.

Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.

Speaker 1:

You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others you can mentor.

Speaker 2:

Well, welcome back to the you can mentor podcast. This podcast is all about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places. I am so excited about the 2 people we have in the room today. We have the Gibbons family. Whoop whoop.

Speaker 3:

There's a reunion

Speaker 2:

in here. We have Caroline Gibbons, the literacy coordinator at 4 Runner Mentoring, and we have Mike Gibbons. Caroline, could you share a little more about your dad?

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Of course. This is my dad, Mike Gibbons. He's great. He's a directional pastor at MacArthur Boulevard Baptist, which is in Valley Ranch, Texas.

Speaker 4:

He and my mom still live in Coppell. That's where I grew up. My dad is very gifted in discipling. It's a lot of what he does at the church that he's always done even before he was a directional pastor. He's also very talented at woodworking.

Speaker 4:

It's just kind of a fun little hobby that he has.

Speaker 3:

He didn't know.

Speaker 4:

As well as reading. That's probably why I'm a literacy coordinator, kinda passed it on to me. I love of reading. So

Speaker 2:

Not the woodworking though?

Speaker 4:

Oh, also the woodworking. I like to build things. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Does Steven know that you built those table covers?

Speaker 2:

You did build those. That's right.

Speaker 3:

I did. That's very impressive.

Speaker 4:

Well, he helped me. I

Speaker 2:

honestly I feel like woodwork like, Jesus is a carpenter.

Speaker 4:

Mhmm.

Speaker 2:

I feel like there's there's more to be said about that than people would know, because I feel like the devil is in that stuff. Anything to do with woodworking is that's the time where I'm most tempted. Fasting fasting is fine for me. Going without food, but working with wood makes the sin nature just come out. And for Jesus to be able to do that with no sin, that's saying something.

Speaker 3:

That's that's that's a good point, Steven. I never thought about that. That's very impressive.

Speaker 2:

Well, so excited to have you on the podcast, Mike, and to hear more about your experience mentoring kids in your community. As Caroline mentioned, you've been a pastor. You've led youth groups. You've, mentored high school students. You've been a teacher Mhmm.

Speaker 2:

For for a long time, and so you you probably have a lot of experience that we wanna glean from. But before we get into your kind of experience mentoring, I wanna hear about your own experience being mentored. What was your life growing up? Who was investing in your life? What were what were the relationships that were most meaningful to you in that kind of mentor sphere?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Oh, that's a great question. First of all, the one that first comes to mind, I don't even know his name. Right before high school, Christ converted me, regenerated my heart and the, the young man that led me to him. Don't remember his name.

Speaker 3:

Didn't know him that well, honestly. So I don't know that he would be an actual formal mentor, but he obviously mentored me in the faith. Yeah. And and you're talking about

Speaker 2:

him right now.

Speaker 3:

Exactly. So I can't wait till having to, introduce myself and get his name. So Wow. So that's the first one. I wish I knew who that was, but I will.

Speaker 3:

And, I just praise God that he he came into my life. Shortly after that, We moved. So that was right before high school and shortly after that we moved my 1st year of high school to another town. I got in contact through the church and through some friends with a youth pastor at the church that we were attending. His name was Polly Rouse.

Speaker 3:

And he just he was committed to young men and really loved on them and leaned into them. And just a little background, I think, would help to understand why that was important at the time. My my dad, Caroline's grandpa, he's a great guy. He's a good moral person, but I never heard the word God or Jesus mentioned or talked about at home from him. No disrespect to him.

Speaker 3:

I don't know that he was brought up that way or even to this day. It's difficult for him to talk about that. So I didn't have a I think his theme in our family was self sufficient self sufficiency. Learn your learn on your own fend for yourself. Make mistakes, learn from them and keep on going.

Speaker 3:

It wasn't a lot of direction wasn't a lot of conversation about what is best for you and how to approach certain things. So that was difficult at certain points in time just to be able to have to figure out things on your own. It wasn't that he was absent. I mean, he he provided for us and he was he was there, but no direction at all. So

Speaker 2:

You hear that a lot. So I don't know if you pinpointed the why or just kind of understanding why why is that a theme that I think a lot of people have. Mhmm. Yeah. Dad was there, but there were certain things that he didn't talk about.

Speaker 3:

That's right.

Speaker 2:

I mean, just yeah. Learn from your mistakes. Yeah. That sounds like something that a lot of a lot of men experience their fathers. I'm just saying, figure it out.

Speaker 3:

That's exactly right. And I don't know the why, honestly. I think part of the why is just a relationship with Christ and not leaning into that, and thus not being able to pass that on. Right. But it could have been that generation.

Speaker 3:

It could have just been his upbringing. Who knows? But it just it just wasn't there. So at moving in high school and meeting up with with this mentor who was really looking to provide direction and looking to love and and really support young men and provide in its mentoring is not all about providing advice. You're not there as a expert on anything, really.

Speaker 3:

You're just walking alongside people. But it was helpful for me at that time to be able to get somebody that not only was walking alongside me, but was willing and wanting to provide direction and vision and help in navigating the difficulties of life, especially in high school. So looking forward. So that was kind of the first besides the mentor who has no name. The the anonymous.

Speaker 3:

The anonymous mentor, but that's kind of the first mentor that that comes to mind that really set me down the right path. Yeah. So, after that, he he got called away to another church. Eventually, I stayed at that church and there was a college leader, while I was in college by the name of Ken Latcham, That kind of took a couple of guys under his wing. You know, he wasn't a pastor.

Speaker 3:

He wasn't a seminary graduate or anything like that. But he just walked alongside us. He was a he was a successful businessman, had a large family. He just he was building his house on his own, contracting his house. So he just he was busy.

Speaker 3:

So we didn't have time to just sit down and have a bible study or whatever, but he just called us over, had us over for dinner. He's, you know, called us over and said, hey. I gotta put up a fence tonight. You guys just come on over and watch or help or whatever. So just seeing him interact never.

Speaker 2:

Fitting on I mean, that's probably why you're the woodworker. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. The other guy was pulling aside.

Speaker 2:

He was like, you could just watch. We're good with it. We're good with just my help.

Speaker 3:

Oh, that's right. So it was just good. I I don't really recall a lot of formal instruction there, but just seeing Christ lived out in his family, how he interacted with his family, how he interacted with Christ while he was working. You know, not not on the job, but just in in in doing physical activity was extremely helpful.

Speaker 2:

I think that's a good point just thinking of how much is translated through relationship. It's not just a here are 3 keys to life or having to be able to synthesize deep truths, but actually just love your wife well and invite someone to come watch you do it. Mhmm. And watch you build a fence. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I like that. Those things are actually really huge.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Absolutely. That's kind of the old Axiom better caught than taught. Right? And it's that was kind of that, you know.

Speaker 3:

He taught, but it was more just watching Yeah. And catching, seeing what it looked like. So, just growing up, those were 2, 2 really, important mentors. And it's been good just thinking about coming and talking to you, Steven, just looking back at that time and see, seeing how God worked it from conversion, and then just leading into someone that knew how to disciple a spiritual mentor and then leading into someone else when they when they got moved off. So it's been good to look back.

Speaker 3:

It's been a real blessing. It's awesome.

Speaker 4:

I knew none of this until this very moment. So I kinda feel like I'm just, like, learning an entirely new side to my dad. That's great.

Speaker 3:

I'm glad I

Speaker 2:

can bring you guys together.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Thank you. Have this conversation.

Speaker 2:

And, well, I'd love for you to talk more about, yeah, just the impactfulness of mentors being in your life and inviting you in. Because I I think really for our mentors, that's what we're really wanting them to pick up is that they're the inviters. They're the one that needs to take the step and enter in to building this relationship. That it's not going to be these kids from hard places who are like, hey, Mike, would you invest in my life? Would you invite me over when you're building a fence?

Speaker 2:

Like, probably not going to happen.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 2:

It's not going to happen.

Speaker 3:

That's right.

Speaker 2:

And and so could you you share even more stories about these guys in your life who are inviting you in, any other situations that that you think would be helpful for our mentors to hear?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I mean, I'll just keep going if you will, if you don't mind just a little bit with other mentors. So that was kind of the young years, the younger years. Right? And I've had to I've had a couple of peer mentors, adult mentors that without their companionship and leadership, I wouldn't wouldn't be where I am today.

Speaker 3:

And one of them was our previous pastor, Josh Smith at MacArthur Boulevard. I'll never forget the, like, the second time we went to that church. He, big church. We're walking in the door with Caroline, my other daughter, and my lovely lovely wife, and, big lobby. And I just see him out of the corner of my eye, across the lobby.

Speaker 3:

And he he, like, latches on to us. And I see him like a defensive back on across the field, just pushing people out of the way. And I'm thinking, man, I'm getting in protective defensive mode here. I wonder if he's gonna be tackling our family. But,

Speaker 2:

he came

Speaker 3:

over, man. I mean and that's just a physical picture of him pursuing, men. He had a passion to bring up men in the church and teach lead and just once again walk with them, life on life. And he he just kind of I wouldn't say he took me under his wing. I wasn't the only one.

Speaker 3:

But, you know, we'd spend time at the house have lunch, just some one on one time as well as he started a group, but he called Titus 10. He had a Titus 10 group every year. 10 men walking through Titus, which has a lot to talk about young men, old men and, and mentoring and leading and discipling. But he he he really poured into me. I mean, in fact, the first thing he says, man, I'm all in.

Speaker 3:

I want you to know that I'm here for you. You know, I wanna walk with you. I wanna teach if you if that's your desire, but mainly, let's just let's just serve Christ together. And that was really good, to to have that at that point in time. And he really provided a lot of information that transformed me.

Speaker 3:

The information leading to transformation through the spirit. Just the prayers and the, and the direction that he provided and the time that we spent together. We, he took that title part of that Titus 10 group on a trip to Kenya together to teach pastors and to pray for some pastors over there. That was just a epiphanal. Is that a word?

Speaker 3:

Sure.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. Literacy coordinator.

Speaker 3:

We need your help.

Speaker 4:

That's it for me.

Speaker 3:

No. That was a revelatory trip for me and that it just real God really spoke to me there and just seeing how important, men were in my life, both previously and now, and I'm just bringing that to the forefront. And, you know, I had been doing like Caroline said, I've kind of been doing, you know, a lot of walking with kids and adults before that, but it just the importance of it really came to the forefront. Yeah. That trip.

Speaker 2:

I think you're adding a really good thing to our conversation with mentors is is really the most of our conversations are about our our river out, not the river in of the people that are investing in us, and how vital that is to not just have someone who is nameless and faceless who led us to Christ, but actually in every season, who are the people that are investing in us that we can take from what they've given us to give away to others. Sure. For every mentor, the the onus is to to be mentored

Speaker 3:

That's right.

Speaker 2:

While you're mentoring. Yeah. So Yeah. It's really good. Could you talk about that process of of acknowledging this is a a calling in life that the things that these men have done, to do with others?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. And I I think it is a calling for me, but let me just expand that a bit because to me, at least, I think it's a calling for all of us. I mean, Matthew 28, you know, Christ says, go go therefore and make disciples. Mentorship is at least involved in discipleship. If they're not if they're not the same, they're they're at least together.

Speaker 3:

Right? So I think that's something that we're all called to do. It may not look like picking up a kid from a hard place, you know, to to go to a ranger game or something on a particular night, but all of us are called to do something like that. It may not be signing up for 4 Runner mentoring, right? But it's your daily life and in your church life.

Speaker 3:

Or if you're not in church, it's it's something else at work or whatever. It's it's something that we're all called to do. Right? Does that make sense? But do I mean, just in in my life, it's looking back out at the importance of it.

Speaker 3:

It it and like I said, with with Josh working through that, it just does seem to be at the forefront of of my mind.

Speaker 4:

My dad used to work at Fidelity Investments for a very long time. Did you

Speaker 2:

work at Fidelity Investments?

Speaker 4:

I did. Yes.

Speaker 3:

Can we say Fidelity Investments on air?

Speaker 4:

At a financial firm.

Speaker 3:

Sure

Speaker 2:

you can. Okay.

Speaker 3:

I don't know that they would like

Speaker 4:

it very much. But Really?

Speaker 3:

Who knows? I'm just teasing.

Speaker 4:

Who knows?

Speaker 3:

Go ahead.

Speaker 4:

Anyway, my dad used to work at a financial firm for a very long time. For, what, 25 years?

Speaker 3:

Uh-huh.

Speaker 4:

Yes?

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 4:

So very different sphere of daily life. And then you transitioned kind of through the encouragement of people like Josh

Speaker 3:

Mhmm.

Speaker 4:

And also Ricky Primrose. He's also a pastor at MBBC. Right. You transitioned into more of a ministry sphere.

Speaker 2:

Mhmm.

Speaker 4:

Now you're you were definitely doing ministry while you were at that financial firm and you were still involved at church and stuff like that. But how was kind of the transition and just the, how did they equip you to make that move into ministry? And, like, what are some differences that you saw before, after, etcetera? Just kinda lean into that a little bit.

Speaker 3:

No. That's a good question. Well, let me start with the second question last. I mean, obviously, there's there's a major difference in the in a career or a work setting. Although there are obviously Christ followers, typically wherever you're at, but I would say where I was at least most of them were probably not Christ followers.

Speaker 3:

So that's a huge difference. But in the end, as you guys say relationships change lives, it's all about the relationship, right? And just living your life in front of them. They should notice that there's something different about you. So it may not be as vocally apparent.

Speaker 3:

In other words, you can't necessarily voice a lot, but it's still the same life style. So they see that before I left fidelity, I had a couple of guys that came up to me and just said, hey, would you mentor me? You know?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

I said, why me? You know, I didn't necessarily say it like that. But I said, well, sure, I'll do that. But I want you to understand, I'm not just going to mentor you for work. I'm not going to do this just so you can get a promotion, or tell you how to better your career, although that'll be part of it.

Speaker 3:

But we're also going to talk about things that feed into that, including your emotional and your spiritual maturity and whatever else is feeding into your life. We need to talk about that. That's a difference in that I think the motivation is shown in a different way.

Speaker 2:

Does

Speaker 3:

that make sense? But it's it's still the the same why. I mean, it's still the same. We we want to build a relationship with them to show them how to build a relationship with God. Right?

Speaker 3:

Which eventually leads to helping in their relationship with others. Yeah. So hopefully that answers your second question. The the first question in terms of just kind of moving from financial services or a business career into a pastoral career is a little bit more complicated. When Josh first kind of pastoral career is a little bit more complicated.

Speaker 3:

When Josh first kinda started talking about that in pastoral ministry, man, the first thing I said was, no. I'm not. That's not me. I'm not adequate. I don't know what the Nephilim are.

Speaker 2:

I don't who's this guy named Melchizedek? I mean, I can't I can't counsel the the hard cases. I'm just not Nobody knows those things, Mark. Well, that's true.

Speaker 3:

I was hoping you'd tell me who the Nephilim are, man. Still don't know. Or is that how you'd say it? Nephilim? Nephilim?

Speaker 4:

I don't know.

Speaker 3:

I don't know. But anyway, I mean, it just took me back. It's like, I cannot I can't I can't do that. I'm not equipped. And Josh's answer was, well, that's exactly why I'm asking you to do it.

Speaker 3:

Because you understand that you understand that you're not adequate in your own power. God has given you gifts, skills and abilities. Yes. They came from him. But the power to do this has to come from him also.

Speaker 3:

So that was a real, that was a real eye opener for me, which intuitively, I mean, I probably knew, but my sin nature, I'm like, man, this is all on me. Well, it's not, you know, it's it depends upon the power of the spirit to, to give me and infuse me with with the power to do that. So there was there was a lot of equipping just in terms of seeing how he worked through pastoral ministry, including counseling and leadership and administrative type things. But it was more prayer and just leaning into me and saying, man, have you prayed about this? Are you are you ready to are you ready to depend upon God's spirit on God's power for us to do this?

Speaker 3:

So, yeah, he worked through some we worked through a kind of a leadership training type program, with a couple other guys. But that transition the transition kinda began right there when I realized that, yeah, I'm not adequate to do this. And I think that ties into mentoring. Absolutely. Because none of us are really adequate to handle those hard kids.

Speaker 3:

Is that or hard cases or kids from hard places. Right? I mean, we haven't experienced everything that they've experienced. We got to depend upon the spirit, submit to God's word and depend upon the spirit to, not do this in our own ability, but in his in his power.

Speaker 2:

So good, Mike.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. I think it's just a great reminder like, especially, because we have mentors from every every career known to man, you know. We have people in all different kinds of areas. So I just think it's a great reminder that you don't need a seminary degree and you don't have to know all these things. Like, you like you said, you depend on the word and the spirit.

Speaker 4:

Right. And you submit in prayer.

Speaker 2:

I think there's a there's a danger if you feel like you know everything.

Speaker 4:

Yes. Absolutely. Right.

Speaker 2:

And, I mean, yeah, being a mentor is you are constantly learning and having to grow, and there's a humility that's required of every mentor.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

I think that's that's really huge. Yeah. And, I mean, just kinda like what you said about Josh is like, well, let's let's learn how to do this together. Yeah. Might may not be learning about the Nephilim, but but I I just think that that's that is a huge posture that mentors have to have.

Speaker 2:

Mhmm. I mean, we're saying you can mentor, but that doesn't that doesn't mean that this is gonna be easy. That it's gonna be natural even Mhmm. In a lot of situations.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I hope I didn't downgrade your title there because Maybe

Speaker 2:

we should add with God, you

Speaker 3:

can mentor. Because I do think you can mentor, and I think everybody that's a Christ follower can mentor. But just the realization that that you're depending on God's spirit to do that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Yeah. That's really good. I'd I'd love I mean, you sound really smart right now, and so maybe we should humble you and ask you about mentor relationships that haven't worked. They they were in that learning process where you were figuring out how to do this well.

Speaker 2:

Do you have any stories you could share?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I got a couple, well, probably more than a couple, but I'm only good admit to a couple. Thinking now about a young man that, that I mentored as well as led a small group that he was a part of, through oh, man, through all of his middle school years and all of his high school years, who right before he went to college, kind of fell into some sexual sin, not fell. He knew what he was doing. I mean, it's a choice.

Speaker 3:

You don't just fall into that. But after we've, you know, I had had multiple discussions and conversations and answered his questions about God's plan for sex and intimacy. And he just fell into that. And I think the learning that I get from that in that what I've learned over these past few years, too, is the importance of community. In that, when you isolate your mentoring relationship from community and from others, I mean, God has built us for social interaction.

Speaker 3:

He's built us for communities built us for fellowship That's what the church for believers is all about. But when you isolate that relationship that you have with your mentor, and there's no, perhaps he doesn't see others that are in other of his peers that are in that same position that he can go to and talk to or he just, he always goes back to a family that doesn't support it, which you can't help a lot with that. But the importance of having other peers of his age or his season to be able that he can talk to beside yourself. Does that make sense?

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Mhmm. You're saying just in the sense of validating your message of the the things that you're speaking into his life. Do others agree with what you're what you're saying, what you're pouring in? And if you're isolated as a mentor, you can become this, maybe even a standard of, well, that's great, Mike, but this is reality over here.

Speaker 3:

That's right. That's right. I think it's both of those. I mean, it's not necessarily just that he's only looking to you. And if you're, you know, if you're not there, then he didn't know how to proceed or whatever.

Speaker 3:

But it's it's also that if he sees himself in a position and starts thinking, you know, Mike and I talked about this. Let me call Joe, who Mike's also mentoring and talking about and or text Joe and let's let's figure this out. You know, I need some help right now. So a community of his peers that he knows he can call on besides just me. Does that make sense?

Speaker 3:

Mhmm.

Speaker 2:

And I

Speaker 3:

think that's what the church is right. We're we're here, both universal church and the local church to to help each other to glory. And we're we're walking with each other and exhorting one another and encouraging one another. Maybe I'm making it too extreme, but I just think as mentoring, we also need to think about the community that we provide for him if we're able to. We're not always able to.

Speaker 3:

Right? But just other people that can come around that mentee also.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. With that with that same relationship because the the truth is that that's consistent with a lot of mentor relationships is that it'd be great if we could just extract all of our knowledge, put it into them, and allow them to live their life as we would live their life. Mhmm.

Speaker 2:

And that's just that's just we can't do that. That's that's not the reality of the situation. And so with that understanding of the outcome, I can't control. God is in control. He's sovereign over this relationship.

Speaker 2:

What are some things that you can personally acknowledge that God's hand was on within that relationship that keeps you from feeling discouragement, that keeps you from giving in to, I guess, that feeling of I haven't done enough. I didn't do it right. Mhmm. And and all of those things. Because I think those are emotions that every mentor feels.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Absolutely. Well, for me, it just goes back to grace and just the fact that Christ gives us that grace. I mean, we're all still sinners, and so that grace is still there if we've repented and trusted in him. I just keep going back to that and saying, that's what keeps me going, you know, because I I need God calls us to share that grace and that love with others.

Speaker 3:

Love God and love others. So I hope that's answering it. I just kinda lean back on that grace and say, this is a little annoying or this is a little frustrating or I'm really tired, but, God fills me with that grace to keep going and to look and see compassion Yeah. You know, with with the mentee that says, you know, I've been there. Don't don't stop talking and persevering with him.

Speaker 3:

Just have the relationship, not to try to be the expert or to teach him something necessarily, but just you gotta be there.

Speaker 4:

Mhmm. And I think that's great too. Because like you said, like, the the relation the mentoring relationship doesn't end there. Like, it doesn't end after, you know, that guy that you were mentoring made a poor decision. That's not that's not like the book end of your mentoring relationship.

Speaker 4:

You don't close that door. Like, you continue because you've been extended grace. Yeah. You extend grace to him and you walk through that and you continue and you keep pushing.

Speaker 3:

Oh, that's good. So

Speaker 4:

I think that's a great just kind of reminder and encouragement.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. That's really good.

Speaker 2:

I I feel I feel like you pretty you glazed over the fact that you said you've mentored this kid since middle school Mhmm. Through high school.

Speaker 4:

Long time.

Speaker 2:

Like like, that's huge to to say that you invested your life in a kid for 10:10 years. Yeah. No no one does that without experiencing that grace for your from from the Lord and saying, you know what? I'm gonna I'm gonna sacrifice 10 years of my time. It's not entire 10 years.

Speaker 2:

But for 10 years, I'm gonna be emotionally invested in this kid's life, and I'm carrying him in prayer. I'm carrying him, like, you're thinking about him every week, every day.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 2:

I mean so can can you just kinda share a little more about that process of of what it looks like to carry someone in your spirit for for 10 years. Because it sounds like you're not gonna mention it, but that's that's a I think for all of our mentors, I would I would love to see all the little kids

Speaker 3:

in

Speaker 2:

our program. Have someone carry them for 10 years Mhmm. In their heart and in their prayer life.

Speaker 3:

Mhmm. Yeah. That's a great question. I don't know if I know how to answer it. I I'm gonna have to go back to grace and, the power of the spirit.

Speaker 3:

I mean, I don't wanna sound super spiritual all the time because

Speaker 2:

You are.

Speaker 3:

But it I mean, because it does take, I guess, perseverance. But, you know I'm

Speaker 4:

also I'm gonna I'm gonna push you a little bit there because I know you're not gonna talk about yourself in this way. But one of the great things about my dad is that he is super consistent. He's very regular. He never drops off the face of the planet. You know, you always know that you're gonna be there.

Speaker 4:

And so I see you regularly texting guys that you mentor, like, in your discipleship group. You regularly text them. You see them on a consistent basis. I know that you're a man of prayer, and that you consistently lift them up to the Lord. So those little things, I think, that just kind of build on each other.

Speaker 4:

Like, you're not doing just one of those little things for an entire 10 years, but you're actually you're, you know, combining those to really provide a foundation for that mentoring relationship. And I think that's huge. Just as regular, consistent, little bite sized pieces, if you will. But eventually, it's 10 years have passed, and you've known this guy for 10 years, and you've built that relationship with him. And it was because you started getting to know him and you texted him on his birthday and you, you know, you did those things that built that.

Speaker 3:

Well, I appreciate that. There's a flip side to that consistency though. Right?

Speaker 4:

Always.

Speaker 3:

That you can probably talk to about being annoying too. So I I don't know if I answered that question, Steven.

Speaker 2:

You didn't. I probably I know I didn't.

Speaker 3:

I I don't know how to answer that, honestly. I think it, I

Speaker 2:

mean, like, for for people who, I guess, for for me running, like, I've been running a mile a day. I've been trying to do that very Yeah.

Speaker 3:

I used to. Nice.

Speaker 2:

When I don't and I go back out, it's a lot harder

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

To get back to where I was. But when I'm consistent, I find myself running further and further and further. Not out of this intentional aspect of I'm trying to run further, but it's just because I'm running Mhmm. Consistently that I'm running further than I thought I ever could.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 2:

And so I I feel like what I'm hearing Caroline say that you're not saying is that this is an ingrained Yeah. Practice Uh-huh. In your life that you don't recognize is running behind the scenes because it's just life to you. Yeah. That's good.

Speaker 2:

And I think for for every mentor, this is a muscle that I think for a lot of us, you you have to start growing, and it's it's difficult to transition into that mentality of, I think, what we would call as the kingdom of God. Yeah. That that living in this reality of self sacrifice, like selfless love, unconditional care, compassion for others. That that's not necessarily natural. That's But that's that's the life and love of Jesus that we are growing in.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

And and that's what's being displayed as we practice the ways of Jesus.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. That's that's good. I mean, that that that makes me think, because a lot of our life is just habit. Right? I mean, we don't make conscious decisions to overeat or necessarily not exercise.

Speaker 3:

It's just, you know, when we sit down at the at the dinner table

Speaker 2:

myself eating more too.

Speaker 3:

Believe me, me too.

Speaker 2:

But but you know what I'm saying? I mean,

Speaker 3:

we sit down at the dinner table, and it's like, I'm just

Speaker 4:

Shumbling in it.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. It's just a habit. And so I think that's a good point, Steven, in that it's those disciplines of grace. It's those habits that you just build into your life. And I'm not trying to build myself up.

Speaker 3:

I'm just thinking about what you just said. It's this is those habits that we have is like, it becomes where you don't even have to think about it. You just text or you send the email or or or whatever. Yeah. That which reminds me too.

Speaker 3:

I'm I'm I've got 4 or 5, guys that I'm discipling right now in in a small discipleship group. And one of the things that we're trying to hold each other accountable for is reading the Bible every day. And so I we struggle, we all of us were struggling with that. And I said, alright, I'm putting myself out there. I'm gonna send you guys an email every day with my Bible journal with what I'm what I'm reading that day.

Speaker 3:

And at first, it was like, man, I gotta send this otherwise, they're gonna be on me next time. You know, I gotta read my Bible today, which was part of the reason I did it. I wanted to hold myself accountable. Right. But now, I look forward to that.

Speaker 3:

It's become such a habit. It's so ingrained that that's the first thing I do when I get up in the morning, is is open the word, read journal, type it up and send it off. And it's just a habit now and I don't even think about it. Does that make sense? What I think it's kinda going back to what you were saying.

Speaker 3:

It's just, man, it's just part of it's just part of what we do.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. It's really good. In your mentor relationships, have you had regular conversations with with someone in your life of how your mentor relationship is going? Because I I think that level of accountability, I think, is really important for men men and women who are in this this place of mentoring kids from hard places.

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Who are the people that you talk with and share how those things are going?

Speaker 3:

No. That's good. Yeah. Definitely, my peer the mid the mid the guys that are mentoring me Mhmm. Are are mainly probably the ones that I'm I'm talking to.

Speaker 3:

Obviously, family, although Caroline may not know as much about it as she's as she just said, but, you know, I

Speaker 4:

I'm under a rock

Speaker 3:

over here. But but obviously, your spouse is involved there too. But it's mainly the accountability, for lack of a better term, which I guess can be overused, but it's those guys that are mentoring me right now. My current pastor, Ricky, and then the other directional pastors, just keeping them informed. Say, man, will you pray for Joe?

Speaker 3:

You know, in our last at our last meeting, he's having some tough times, you know, just that type of thing. So that's and and to get their counsel also. Right? Just to try to

Speaker 2:

That's really good.

Speaker 3:

See if they've had situations, like this before and and then to just get the exhortation to keep going.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. You know? So That's awesome. Yeah. Mentoring on an island is not recommended.

Speaker 2:

Right. This is this is a great thing to do in community. Mhmm. And to learn how to do it, to grow in doing it, and to encourage others to do it as well. So I think that's amazing.

Speaker 4:

Just to kind of look at another side of mentoring. And this is something that you did with, like, me and Sarah. Those of you listeners out there, Sarah is my younger sister. Clarification. So, like, I recognize you are my dad.

Speaker 4:

So this looks a little different, but in a way that is a mentoring and discipleship relationship.

Speaker 3:

I would say so.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. You are discipling me in Sarah and hoping that we would be followers of Christ, which we are. So great job. But, like, one of the things that, like, I saw in that that really genuinely made such an impact in my life and just our relationship is, like, regular things but, like, fun things. Like, you set aside time for what we call the daddy daughter date once a year.

Speaker 4:

It was skip day and, like, we you took us out of school. It was a surprise. We would, like, come in on a Monday morning and be, like, you're going out of school today. And we would leave school and we would go and we would watch a movie, and walk around the aquarium, and just, like, spend time together. And that time was just so rich with conversation and memories and just having fun together, that it kind of opened the door for deeper conversations during that time.

Speaker 4:

And so I think things like that, you do such a good job of. And that was once a year, but I literate I think about that all the time because it happened every year, and it was fun, and it made an impact. So I think those things that, like, maybe it doesn't happen every single week, but just like a tradition of really, like, living life with people and making room in your life for them is so impactful.

Speaker 2:

That's good.

Speaker 4:

So I think that's something that you've done really well. Now you you can do similar things in a mentoring relationships.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

But,

Speaker 2:

yeah. Well, I appreciate

Speaker 4:

something else.

Speaker 3:

Say in that springing a tear to mind. Those are the 2 best days of the year. Skip play with Caroline and Sarah. Come on. But, you know, it's some of the best parenting advice I ever got was something that somebody told me is just find out what your kids love and spend time with them doing that.

Speaker 3:

Mhmm. And it connects connects people and I think that's important from entering to

Speaker 2:

absolutely,

Speaker 3:

you know, find out what that that kid from the hard place enjoys doing. And just do it with him. Yeah. Be with him. And that builds the connection just like what you were saying, which leads to other conversations just like what you were saying.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So, yeah, just finding out what they love.

Speaker 4:

Yeah. I guarantee you, you didn't wanna go see a Selena Gomez movie every

Speaker 2:

single year, but you did.

Speaker 3:

Come on. There were a lot of them there right in a row. But like Caroline, I mean, she loves dancing. She loves art. Well, I'm a horrible artist, and I can't dance.

Speaker 3:

But, you know, we would go to see we would watch an old musical or we would go to a stage Broadway production of Mary Poppins or whatever. And that probably wouldn't be the first thing that I would necessarily tick off to go do by myself. But if Caroline's gone, I want to go, you know, and it's the same thing with mentoring. Maybe they they love baseball. Maybe they've never been to a baseball game, man.

Speaker 3:

Go to the game, even if it's a, you know, minor league rough riders or whatever. So I appreciate you bringing that up. But time

Speaker 2:

Is it mentoring can usually feel like it's I need to get you interested in everything about my life. Right. When it's actually the opposite. Yeah. That's right.

Speaker 2:

I'm gonna humble myself and make myself available to get excited about what you love. Right? And and that places value in the person you're investing in.

Speaker 3:

That's right.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Man, I think there's so much truth and practical advice that you can take away from a good parent like you, Mike. And so thank you so much for the things that you shared, and I've I've loved having both of you at the table because I I think it just creates a a really interesting dynamic that I I hope other parents get to experience and see. And I love the value that Caroline sees in you that surpasses what you give to the family. Mhmm. Like, she knows what you've given to her.

Speaker 2:

She is jealous for other people to experience as well. And, yeah, that's really attractive. And that's that's Jesus. Mhmm. And thank you so much, Mike, for coming and sharing on the podcast.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Well, it's been a privilege and an honor. I appreciate you asking.

Speaker 2:

Anyone wants to connect with you, ask you to mentor them.

Speaker 3:

Sure.

Speaker 2:

How do they get a hold of you?

Speaker 3:

I'm on the McArthur Boulevard Baptist Church website, which is macarthurblulevard.org. And, I've got an email address there as well as a phone number and an ugly mug, so you can see what I look look like.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Or you can see him at Taco Joint because if you're

Speaker 4:

here yeah.

Speaker 3:

That's right. I don't know.

Speaker 2:

Simply text mex?

Speaker 4:

Simply awesome.

Speaker 3:

Wow. Can you say that on the on air? Taco joint and put all the investments.

Speaker 4:

Know where you're getting all these things that we can and cannot say. I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 2:

Well, that was a great episode of the You Can Mentor podcast. Thank you so much for listening. If there is any way we can help you grow in your mentor relationship, don't ask us. Go ask Mike, at MacArthur Boulevard Baptist Church. So, so thankful for his investment into our mentor experience.

Speaker 2:

And so please check out the show notes to connect with him if you have any other questions. And if you picked up anything from this episode, just let it be this. You can mentor or with God, you can.