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"We often get discouraged because we wake up and realize that we're on a path or in a race that's headed to a finish line, but it may not be the one that we actually want to cross."
Join co-hosts Kat Lee, mom next door, and Laura Wilkinson, Olympic Gold Medalist, as we help you understand how to reach your goals, big or small. Whether you are winning a World Championship or decluttering your kitchen cabinets, we interview people who have gotten it done and break down the mindset shifts, processes and systems that got them to the finish line. Ultimately, our goal is to help you reach yours so that you can be our next guest on the Hello Goals Show.
2a-HG-CEH Interview 3-12-25
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[00:00:00] Chrystal: we often get discouraged because we wake up and realize that we're on a path or in a race that's headed to a finish line, but it may not be the one that we actually want to cross. And so it's really important that we align who we are, what's important, how we're wired,
our God-given DNA to the finish lines that we wanna cross.
[00:00:21] Kat: Hey, this is Kat Lee
[00:00:22] Laura Wilkinson: And I'm Laura Wilkinson and this is the Hello Goals podcast.
Today we're talking with Chrystal Evans Hurst, an author, speaker, podcaster, and a long time friend. Now, Chrystal is honestly one of the most wise people I know, and she's recently released a book called 100 Days to Discovering the Gift Of You. So in this episode. We're gonna be talking about how knowing yourself better can help you set more effective goals.
This is gonna be a jam packed episode, so buckle up. Here we go.
[00:00:53] Kat: Hey Chrystal, welcome to the Hello Goals podcast. We're so glad you're here.
[00:00:57] Chrystal: Thanks for having me. It's always fun to get to see [00:01:00] you and to talk to you about whatever we want to talk about this year.
[00:01:04] Kat: Goals. We're always talking about goals and planning things and doing stuff, which is perfect because now Laura and I have a whole podcast about setting goals. So I know that one thing, ~um,~ that's really important to me is understanding ourselves before we set goals and before we dive into this incredible book that you've written about doing that, I'd love for you to just introduce yourself a little bit to our audience.
[00:01:28] Chrystal: Sure, sure. Well, my name is Chrystal Hurst. I stick Evans in there mostly so people will just know who I'm connected to. But it's Chrystal Evans Hurst and I am a accidental author, speaker.~ Um, I.~ Ministry slash business owner, membership coordinator. Some of the girls called me Coach. I do a lot of things that I didn't plan on doing in the season of my life, but um, I have a lot of fun doing it.
You can find me anywhere at Chrystal Hurst.
[00:01:56] Kat: So, kind of one of the main themes of what you do Chrystal, [00:02:00] is helping women discover how to live a life that they love.
[00:02:04] Chrystal: Mm-hmm.
[00:02:05] Kat: this book that you've written ~is kind of, you know, ~talks to that a lot, um, and discovering the gift of you. When we set goals, sometimes, you know, we just set a goal. We think, oh, I wanna just run a marathon 'cause that sounds really cool.
[00:02:18] Chrystal: Yeah.
[00:02:18] Kat: But often we don't set a goal that actually fits us. And I'd love to know just a little bit more about what inspired you to write this book. Like what is it that you've seen in helping women live life they love that inspired you to write this book?
[00:02:32] Chrystal: Absolutely. Well, I think we are oriented for, ~um. ~Finish lines. ~Um,~ and I think that we often get discouraged because we wake up and realize that we're on a path or in a race that's headed to a finish line, but it may not be the one that we actually want to cross. And so it's really important that we align who we are, what's important, how we're wired,
our God-given DNA to the finish lines that [00:03:00] we wanna cross.
Some of them,
~um,~ are.
Important to everyone. We all wanna have enough money to retire. We wanna make sure that we're able to enjoy life and take the vacations we want. We wanna have meaningful relationships. We wanna
expand our potential so we go to school.
all of those roads. Can be connected still to who you are and what you want.
~Um,~ some people want to downsize and travel. Other people wanna keep everything they've ever had and just have the grandkids come over. I mean, we think about retirement, but you still have to think about it in the context of who you are and what you want. Uh, education. We can all go to school, but how many of us have gone to school and may still be paying on loans from school to realize that that wasn't quite the right degree?
And so it.
That that finish line still has gotta connect to who you are and how you're wired.
good news is that I believe that a part of living life, even if you feel like at some point you aimed wrong, everything can be used, ~um,~ and reused and repurposed for the design for [00:04:00] which you were made.
But I think it is
to our benefit and it is our responsibility. To the degree that we can to discover how we're wired, how we're made,
what are the experiences that have influenced who we are, our family of origin and the relationships that we've had,
who does that create us to be right now? And where does that mean we should aim?
And to the degree that we have information, that is the degree to which we can aim well,
[00:04:25] Kat: Mm, that's so good.
[00:04:27] Laura Wilkinson: Well, Chrystal, I have, I have a question if I can,
in. Um, and because I, I love this, uh, obviously a super goal-oriented person. I am that finish line person for sure. ~Um,~ and as an athlete I was always really good at making my plans and trying to do these things within, in like inviting God along for the ride
you know, he laughs and those aren't actually the plans I
[00:04:47] Chrystal: should be doing
[00:04:48] Laura Wilkinson: so, and I'm sure your book touches a lot on this, but like. How do we know when we're making these plans and, and doing like trying to aspire to these things? We wanna do that it is the [00:05:00] path God wants for us and not just what sounds really good to us. Like how do we differentiate that or know that they're the same?
[00:05:06] Chrystal: Yeah, 100%. Well, first of all, I wanna leave room for the fact that you're gonna get it wrong.
Um, in First Samuel chapter three, Samuel, who was supposed to be a prophet, that was his life's work.
The first three times God called him, he did not hear clearly.
So there is room for you to not hear clearly. There is room for you to make mistakes.
There is room for you to think. God said something and he didn't. There is room for you to,
for you
to learn how to hear. And so a part of life and a part of the decisions we make,
um, as we are intentional in the discovery journey
is learning how to hear.
Um, so I don't want anyone to feel like, well, because I'm not sure I'm hearing correctly.
Now I'm paralyzed and I can't do anything 'cause I don't wanna aim for the right, wrong finish line. You do what you can with the information that you have, trusting that if you, your heart is walking in obedience, and if your heart is listening to the, the heartbeat that God has for your life, that you're actually not big [00:06:00] enough to mess it up.
So now we can mess things up greatly if we are willfully being disobedient, if we are just totally out of alignment. If we have gotten warnings and we keep ignoring those warnings 100%. But I think even then God is big enough to right some of those wrongs. So surely he is able to use even our mistakes if our heart is in the right place to aim.
So. That said,
first thing is that you do read God's Word. He has kind of created this big old manual for life and a lot of us wanna navigate life without reading the instruction manual. So that's number one. Number two, you heighten your ability to hear God clearly when for the light that you have, you walk in obedience to that, uh, to whom little is given much can be trusted.
And so if you want. God to trust you with big answers.
be obedient in the small things that he's already revealed? And that is just the power and the work of the Holy Spirit in you. And then the last thing is once you are reading the manual, once you are obedient to the things that you know,
last thing is that [00:07:00] I would just say is creating room to listen.
God is always talking, but similar to an antenna on a radio, which I know many people don't listen to that anymore, but you gotta have your antenna right or without a good phone signal. Let's go with that. If your signal is not able to pick up what God is saying, then you are not positioning yourself best to hear.
If you wanna make a good phone call and you got one bar or no bars.
move to where you have good bars and you will disrupt your plans or your schedule
your current connections even. Hey y'all, I gotta go make a phone call. 'cause you wanna get where when you make the phone call, you can hear, and some of us aren't sure because we actually don't create space to listen.
When we pray, we do most of the talking. And then we're so busy, we're so distracted, our lives are so full that when God is trying to talk, we don't catch it. And in fact,
how you can know that that's true is a lot of people will say,
oh.
I knew I should have, because in hindsight, if we pay attention to what we're thinking and what we're [00:08:00] feeling, we can look back and go.
The signs were there the whole time. We were just too busy, too distracted to actually
it clearly enough and lean into what we knew. Now, with all of that said,
I go back to what I said First,
you could be reading God's Word, being obedient and doing your best to listen and make what you think is the best decision and then realize, man, that wasn't quite right.
And that is the gift of wisdom, which is why the Bible tells older men and older women to teach younger men and younger women because there's some things you only get by learning. And so surround yourself with people that have wisdom so that they can speak into things that you don't quite have the right answer to.
[00:08:40] Laura Wilkinson: Hmm,
[00:08:40] Kat: I love that.
That's
[00:08:41] Laura Wilkinson: was awesome.
[00:08:43] Kat: So. Being a woman of wisdom, you've walked to this journey. What is one gift that you didn't recognize in yourself, um, for a long time, and what changed to that?
[00:08:56] Chrystal: So, so many. And not to say that I have
a lot of gifts. I think [00:09:00] it's to say that there's a lot of things I've discounted in my life, probably for a lot of different reasons. ~Um,~ one that makes me my skin crawl a little bit is, ~um,~ my gift of coaching. I. I think that,
I have a group of women who over the years have listened to the podcast, gotten my email, um, most recently that have,
uh, asked me to help them with, um, launching things, products, whatever.
they started calling me coach and I said, well, no, I'm not.
'cause I haven't gotten a certification. I haven't gotten training.
I, I haven't put my sign on the door.
But one girl kept saying it and every time she said it, I would be so uncomfortable. And the other girls that were in her cohort.
They started saying it and then one of those girls said it on a, I do these morning lives with my online community. She said it in the chat and then other women started saying it. And so
[00:09:49] Kat: literally
[00:09:49] Chrystal: at the beginning of this year, that is one of the things that I've decided to own that because, ~um,~ I can listen.
And not have all the answers, but usually here's something that you're saying [00:10:00] that you may not even realize that you're saying.
always been a great question asker, and sometimes I think people have the answer. They just need someone to ask the right question.
that is something that I have owned in the season.
That is something that I am now marketing that is something I just own and
who I am. I mean, I literally have this workbook here. From my coaching cohort. So, ~um,~ I think that that would be one, ~um,~ because I just discounted what I had to offer in that department. , another one would be,
just writing.
I mean, I said I was an accidental writer because I did think I would write maybe in my sixties.
I calculated based on the age of my children, when they'd all be grown, when I felt like I could be trusted to use any of them as examples. And when I'd probably have the time to write. And, uh, I was invited to write, uh, 20 years before my intention.
And so I've always been a journaler. So I've considered myself to be a writer, but not for public consumption. And, ~um,~ here I am, five books in, ~um,~ working on a six. So I think those two would be [00:11:00] what I'd say today.
[00:11:02] Kat: Okay.
that. And that's so fascinating to me. And I'm curious about like the switch, because known you for years and you've always been a great writer and you've always been a great coach, and it's just fascinating to me that you just said. So earlier this year I owned the phrase coach. I'm like, Chrystal, you've been doing this for years, and I'm sure everybody listening probably has the same things that are true about them.
They're fantastic at something. They're gifted at something, but they're not owning it. They're not seeing it. What would you say kind of helped, I mean obviously people calling it out and you helped you see it, but you have to take that step to to own it. Like, tell us a little bit about that journey. How can you encourage
[00:11:45] Chrystal: Oh my gosh. Well, you know,
think first of all it's, it's just as simple. as a
as a decision, it, it literally is for most things that we need to
[00:11:58] Kat: to,
[00:12:00] own
[00:12:00] Chrystal: It's just
as simple as a decision because what you're saying, other people have said,
but I was in a strategy meeting with our. Team vision casting actually. And ~um,~ I was saying, here's what we're gonna focus on this year.
I drew all these circles on the board of all the things that I do and, you know, I do way too much. But I said, what's at the center of all these circles is Chrystal. And I have spent a lot of time trying not to be at the center. I don't want be at the center. I don't want people, I don't,
but me avoiding being at the center.
And what I bring to the table is
actually causing more work
just owning that. That's the center. And so who is at the center?
Chrystal is, I've always been willing to say I'm a big sister.
~Um,~ but what will make all these other things clear? I write because I'm coaching you, I have a membership because I'm coaching you, I have events because I wanna bring in other people that will coach you.
~Um,~ I'm doing these things because
is what I do, whether I do it or whether a member of my sister circle does it. Other women that [00:13:00] are
able to write and speak. I am creating an environment where women coach women and so
I just said it now. It didn't necessarily, like even telling you today, it makes my skin crawl.
But me saying it was the first step in owning it, ~um,~ even though I've always been a writer, it felt weird to say that I was an author,
but if you say it enough. ~Um,~ you might actually, personally start to believe it. And so the switch for me
has been saying it and to continue saying it until my heart and my mind catch up.
It's kind of like the idea of renewing your thoughts in Romans 12, one and taking your thoughts captive.
idea that you can have thoughts,
don't have to be the right thoughts, but the way that you wrangle them is to recognize when they are incorrect or untrue and to, you know, I'm a Texan, so you, uh, you know, you, you throw your.
What is it? Your little loopty loop thing? What is it called?
[00:13:51] Laura Wilkinson: Lasso.
[00:13:52] Chrystal: lasso. I'm not really a Texan, you know, and you go out there and it's running wild and you catch it and you bring it back because you [00:14:00] can. That's, that's it. The thing is that you can, and then you tell yourself a truth and you keep replacing the thought ~That's.~
~That's,~ that's, you know, wild with the thought that's real.
And after you do that enough, it's like breaking a Mustang. Eventually the thing that was wild can come under control. So I don't wanna oversimplify it, but I do think for many of us, it is that simple. And because we're looking for some kind of formula, we keep missing the obvious if you're avoiding it because.
You're not sure it's true,
but it keeps coming back to you.
don't you just try it on and see if it fits, and maybe then you'll discover that the thing you didn't think fits, fits you like a perfect tea.
[00:14:38] Laura Wilkinson: Mm.
Well, and this, this may be kind of along those lines, like when you're starting to notice those things and you're paying attention, but what if,
yeah. How, how do you really identify some of your gifts if you don't know what they are? Or you think you're on that right path, but, but you're listening and it's something else, but you can't identify it.
Like, how can people identify better their goals or [00:15:00] maybe have their
community around them help them identify their goals?
[00:15:03] Chrystal: Awesome.
Well,
[00:15:04] Laura Wilkinson: gifts. I'm
[00:15:05] Chrystal: yeah, yeah, yeah. So that you can get to your goals. Well, the framework for, ~um, th~ this book and it, this book was born out of one chapter that was in a book I wrote in 2017 called She's Still There, and it was. ~Uh,~ entitled, ~uh,~ gaining a New Perspective And Gain is an acronym for your gifts, your abilities, your interests, and your nature.
Or another way to say nature is your personality. So 100 Days of Discovering You is expanding that chapter because people were asking me what you're asking me, like, that's a great framework, but how do I do it? So this is leading you through reflective questions to discover. ~Um,~ I was in my twenties and I had a job I hated and I went to my boss after they had taken me off of, I was an auditor and they had taken me off the audit trail and put me in the office to work on certain projects because I wasn't really sure
this was the job I, I wanted to.
To have. And after a couple of months, um, I had a meeting scheduled and I went in with one of the partners [00:16:00] and I was so ready 'cause I was so ready for him to tell me
what I was supposed to do at this company because auditing was not it.
And I came in and I still have this piece of paper, June 20th, 1996. Um, I had on one side of the page my strengths and on the other side of the page my weaknesses. And at the bottom of the page, my interest,
connection, random dots. And I went in and I said, Hey.
I did some work because I know that I was not enjoying the auditing,
but, you know, kind of, here's what I'm good at, here's what I think I'm, I'm strong at here's what my, and I'm, I'm just, I've done the work to inventory some things
I showed it to him. I was so proud and I literally was expecting him
to go,
oh. This. I see it now. This is what you can do. And he said, well, I wanna applaud you for doing, doing this work. This is really amazing.
and he handed my paper back to me and he said, but here we do auditing.
And that may or may not connect to your strengths and weaknesses and your interests, that's for you to decide.[00:17:00]
Now, I was devastated because I was like, you were supposed to tell me what I was supposed to do with my life. Okay, now I'm looking back and I'm horrified that I was, you know, in my twenties asking him to do that.
But you know, the thing is, I knew enough to say. What's in there? I did not know how to connect it. I did not know what to do with it,
but I was old enough and had lived long enough to at least know what I liked. And so this framework gifts,
I'll briefly explain it. Gifts are the things that come naturally to you.
Normally, we don't recognize these things because they come naturally to us. Other people recognize them because they can't do it. It's easy for us and it's not easy for them. And so somebody who can. Easily decorate something, design something, they can see something, nobody else can see it. They can,
flip a house and make it beautiful because they can see what it could be.
And other people are like, no way. I am getting into that. You know, money pit, somebody that has that, that's a gift because everybody can't see visually creative things.
~interests. Or our, I'm sorry.~ [00:18:00] Abilities are the things that you develop skill in. Now, you may be wired for it from a gifted perspective or not.
My children don't have to be wired
to,~ uh, to,~ to know how to play the piano for me to find a teacher who can teach them, anybody who can, you know, can learn how to play the piano and develop.
an ability. However somebody who's gifted can sit down at the piano without lessons and play by ear
someone who's gifted can get lessons that heighten their level of giftedness because they start to make connections that somebody else doesn't make.
So it's developing skill. Okay. Anybody can work a budget, but certain people get skilled because they do pivot tables and macros and some people are gifted 'cause their brain just thinks numerically. So there's a little bit of a nuance difference there.
Um, your interests are your. Your passions. They're the things that set your soul on fire.
They make you come alive. You can feel it in your body. You smile when you talk about it.
You can't stop talking about it. In fact, people see you coming and they know what you love because you're always talking about it. [00:19:00] You're talking about the new utensils you got.
You know, from, from, uh, the cooking store because you like to cook and you want your, your special pots, or you get excited about your new paintbrush set because you're gonna have a whole weekend where you're gonna paint or you get excited about the new album you just bought because you love music.
Your personality is who you are when you show up in the other three spaces. Am I quiet? Am I reserved? Am I extroverted? Am I. ~You know, am I,~
~am I, um,~ more people oriented? Am I energized by doing this with people or doing it by myself?
So all of these work together, but it's just how they come together. And this is all who you are.
This is also impacted by what's happened to you. So your soul is like a container, and there's certain things God gave you the day you were born, and certain things that you develop throughout your life.
But in that container, there are forces from life, positive or negative, that hit your container or that shine your container, and that's family of origin.
Those are your experiences. And so all of this, and this is what makes me so excited about it. All [00:20:00] of this is stuff you get to discover. It's like a treasure hunt, and to the degree that you are willing to go on the treasure hunt or look for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is the degree to which you discover all of the things that are in you. So you are not supposed to know it all at 20. It's a lifetime journey. And so when you think about what's in this book, all I've done in this book is helped people
the questions, ~uh,~ about the questions, what are the questions that I need to ask to discover or gain a new perspective?
I've kind of done what I did when I was 20 something,
I'm priming the pump for everyone who wants the questions to get the answers that only they can give.
[00:20:41] Laura Wilkinson: Oh, very cool.
[00:20:42] Kat: love the way that you've laid the book out too, it's not just read this 200 page book and then kind of try to figure it out. It's a one hundred day devotional, so you literally read a very palatable short little. Section, and then there's a question,
you journal about it. And [00:21:00] so you just literally walk people through. It's like Chrystal coaching in book format
[00:21:05] Chrystal: Yeah.
[00:21:06] Kat: I, I think oftentimes this process can feel overwhelming or daunting or people don't know where to start. And so I just love that you are literally handing them the manual on how to discover themselves and it's so easy to read, so easy to answer. Um, and, and I just love how you've done that. I know that you, we both have an interest in personality tests. I don't know
[00:21:33] Chrystal: what the overarching
[00:21:34] Kat: term is. We've done a few, we've done a few over the years. ~ ~what are, what are ones that you're interested right now that you, you think people should try out?
[00:21:43] Chrystal: Oh, see, that's the problem. I love them all. I, I, I just think once a year you ought to try something new ~um,~ because every time you take a different one, it adds a layer of understanding. They all have their different angles. But currently I'm a Culture Index fan. ~Um,~ [00:22:00] it is a. Survey that you actually cannot take unless you have someone who is, who has a paid license.
And so I discovered it. I use it as a hiring tool, but it has become a great conversation tool to just find out whether somebody prefers, ~um,~ autonomy and independence in their work, whether they go fast or slow,
they are, ~um,~ socially intelligent ~or um. ~externally or internally,
whether they are detailed or
and foot free, foot lose free, right?
And so it just kind of measures the degree, not right or wrong to which somebody. Operates on those paradigms. But, um, I'm a big also fan of strength finders. I know people have feelings about Enneagram. I never got into it like deeply. I just know that it
helps me to understand. I mean, I literally, if somebody tells me they're a six, I understand.
And so it is just, to me it's like learning Chinese.
have to learn Chinese. You can probably go to China and find some people who speak English, but to the degree that [00:23:00] you speak Chinese is the degree to which you can operate in that culture.
In every family, every work environment, every church has culture, and to the degree that which you can share a language,
helps you to communicate.
So those are my
three, but I got a book on my shelf or Myers-Briggs. I've taken the disc. I refer back to it often. I mean, I just have fun doing these.
[00:23:22] Kat: I love that so much and I, I think it's just so helpful for people to have that understanding about themselves and, and know that it's not. You know, necessarily going to have the end all be all truths about themselves. It's just an indication of what their tendencies are and kind of how they operate.
And it's just a fun place to get started. People can sometimes think, well, I'm gonna dive into learning more about myself and it can feel daunting, but sometimes a little test, a fun little test
[00:23:47] Chrystal: Oh yeah. Well, I'll just say this. When you take these little tests, you read them, whatever the. Report is that they give you and you read it with a pen or a highlighter and you underline the things that [00:24:00] resonate with you. 'cause everything is not true about you.
But there should be some words, some phrases, or some sentences that do resonate and then you save those, build a dossier on yourself.
Because when it's time for you to write a resume, when it's time for you to write a bio, when it's time for you to,
~uh,~ sell yourself in an interview, when it's. Time for you to
talk about yourself to somebody you're mentoring.
give you words and we communicate in words, and so add the words that resonate with you to your personal dossier so that you are not only able to grow in your expert knowledge of yourself, but you're also able to expertly communicate who you are, what you do, and what you want out of life when needed.
[00:24:42] Kat: Mm, absolutely. And I think it just also helps as we are thinking about setting goals, we can understand, hey, maybe this isn't the right season, maybe this isn't the right fit for me. Kind of like you went to your boss and you said, Hey, this is how I work, and he's like, this is what we do, and it wasn't quite the match. We can take this information that we [00:25:00] learn from ourselves by walking this a hundred day journey that you take us through and apply it to our goal and say, Hey, this is a fit this. Isn't a fit. And we can know that better about ourselves so that we can set
good goals so that we don't just set random goals and then don't meet them and then we get discouraged.
So I love this opportunity you're giving everyone to go on this journey to know about themselves. ~Um,~ where can people find you and where can the people get a copy of your book?
[00:25:27] Chrystal: Yeah, I'm everywhere at Chrystal Hurst, my website, ChrystalHurst.com and the book is anywhere. ~Uh,~ books are sold just 100 days to discovering the gift of you.
[00:25:37] Kat: Wonderful. Chrystal, thanks so much for joining us today on the Hello Goals Podcast.
[00:25:40] Chrystal: Thanks for having me.
What an amazing episode. I hope y'all enjoyed Chrystal as much as we did. We actually have another episode recorded with her, so be on the lookout for that and I would love to hear some of your takeaways from this episode. So look us up on Instagram. We are HelloGoalsShow on Instagram Also be sure to check out our [00:26:00] website HelloGoals.org, where you can sign up for our newsletter. We'll be sending out some really amazing resources to y'all in the coming weeks Thank you so much for joining us this week. Remember, our goal here is to help you reach yours so you can be the next guest on the Hello Goals podcast.