In this show we discuss the practical applications of masonic symbolism and how the working tools can be used to better yourself, your family, your lodge, and your community. We help good freemasons become better men through honest self development. We talk quite a bit about mental health and men's issues related to emotional and intellectual growth as well.
I want to start today's episode with some insight into the relationship between our identity
and our beliefs and our behaviors.
When we talk about identity as a concept, identity is expressed.
This is an expression or narrative of a story we tell ourselves about the way we are or
about the way we appear in the world or the way we want other people to think about us.
Identity is a constructed concept about the way that we think we work or are placed in the
world.
That identity oftentimes will get shorthanded by social tags, if you will.
The political tagging of liberal conservative or Democrat Republican or Marxist-Leninist
whatever.
It doesn't really matter.
That shorthand, that tagging that we use as identity politics is oftentimes used to
again help us identify where we fit in a crowd of people and how we like to believe we
express ourselves.
However, identity and belief have a lot of sort of challenges conceptually because we
oftentimes will express our beliefs as a function of our identity.
So we will say we believe one thing, but guess what?
When push comes to shove, we do not.
This happens quite a bit.
The result of this, the result of our beliefs and identity, not matching our behavior, creates
something called cognitive dissonance.
We'll get into that in just a second.
But the shorthand for all of this, independent of what we say our beliefs are, is to look
at behavior.
behavior is a reliable indicator of genuine belief.
So it's safe to say we express our identity, but we behave our beliefs, our true beliefs.
And so when you look at someone's behavior, including your own, it's very productive to
inquire, hey, what is my behavior?
Tell me right now about what I really believe to be true.
If I am someone who believes that we should be kind to other people, and I find that my
behavior in a lot of ways is cool to other people, I have to go and re-evaluate what that
is.
And that re-evaluation creates what I mentioned earlier was that cognitive dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance is this situation where we have conflicting evidence about the way
the world works, about the way we work as individuals, about two or more concepts that
we kind of can't hold in our minds at the same time because they are opposite.
Believing you're kind and kicking puppies is one of those things.
You could ask somebody, hey, you just told me five seconds ago you're really, really
a kind person.
And I see you kicking these puppies.
What's the deal?
That creates that sort of cognitive dissonance.
And there's a couple of standard responses that is more often than not, they will attempt
to recontextualize their behavior such that it doesn't conflict with that identity, that
story that we tell ourselves.
For you, as somebody who's trying to grow and develop, understanding that the safest
way to start to meaningfully grow and explore your sort of future potential development opportunities
is to analyze your behavior first.
And then where that behavior does not conform to your beliefs, there you've got opportunity
to grow and develop.
So how might that work?
One way to do this is to imagine someone else doing what you're doing.
So if you are kicking puppies, say, well, if someone else is kicking puppies, what would
I tell my friends about them?
Oh, they're the kind of horrible person that kicks puppies.
Now you kind of re-internally, I can go, okay, maybe I'm a horrible person because they
kick puppies, whatever the case may be.
Your situation is going to help dictate a little bit more when you start looking at these
behaviors, a little bit more about what you can do next in terms of understanding how
to modify and evolve those behaviors so that they better conform to kind of a real identity
that's organic to you or it will help you reconfigure your identity and your stated beliefs
in a way that's more aligned to your behavior.
But when you start to do this and you get into this sort of continuity or this congruity
of belief, identity, and behavior, what will happen is you will essentially start to develop
meaningfully some integrity between what you're doing, what you're saying, and how all
that shows up in the world.
That development of integrity as a concept will help you build trust and has tons and tons
of other byproducts that are awesome for you and your growth and development as you go
forward.
For now though, just remember that identity is expressed and beliefs are behaved as it
were and that should get you a whole lot further in your own personal development.