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The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches, and I'm driving the ship. I am Broken. There was a guy in Chicago that I was reading about, and I was, uh, talking about on the pre-recorded Peaches Pit party for today, and this guy was, uh, complaining to his landlord that rats- Rats ... were biting at his face in the middle of the night. And so I added this to the soundboard. Wait, let me see if I have it, have it, uh, have it at a higher volume here. Them rats. [rats screeching] [laughs] Vessel, would you be upset by this? Well, yeah. [laughs] Adding him to the soundboard now, too. Very nice. Them rats. [rats screeching] It just keeps echoing.
[laughs] I love the people, by the way, that are on YouTube uploading the vocals only, uh, editions of- Mm-hmm ... famous songs. Yeah, this guy isolated tracks. Shout out to him giving me this gem.
Them rats. [rats screeching] Them rats. Pretty kick butt, Peaches. Yeah, kick butt, that's right. Uh- Kick butt ... I've... I found this old article too, by the way, that, uh, people were getting upset- Mm-hmm ... that peop- uh, some women are wearing G-strings to the water park. Oh, wearing a swimsuit. If, if you were a hot lady, would you wear a G-string- Mm-hmm ... if you had the body for it? Sure, I'd- I, I wear one- I'd wear one as a man ... okay. Well, well, that's the side I don't wanna see. I wear one every time I go to the beach. Oh, sure, every time you go into that hot tub. That's right. [laughs]
You go... [laughs] Vessel, do you wear a G-string when you go to the water park? Well, yeah. [laughs] These headphones are awful, dude. The cord is too short. [laughs] I, I'm this close to the, uh, whatever this machine is, and it... the, the sound keeps going from both headphones to w- to the left side, back to both. Oh, they must be broken. Utterly ridiculous. These cheapo things, they're as ba- they're about as bad as my vacuum. Ah. Well, uh, w- as we know, your vacuum does not suck. It does not suck, no. And, uh- I did get a new trash can. My new trash can came, and I was about to- You bought something? Oh, I didn't tell you about this, did I? You, you got a new item. I didn't tell you about this, did I? No. Should we save it for the next break? I feel like we should. Uh- Okay ... Vessel, should we save it? Well, yeah. All right, Vessel says yes. [upbeat music] All right, I should play the, uh, Pomp and Circumstance music behind us, 'cause this is a monumental moment. [laughs] Where, where exactly is it? I, I don't know. It's in there. James show? Is it under that?
Uh- Um, I- Is it this black button? What does this black button do? I don't know. What is this one? [Stone Cold theme song] [laughs] It's the Stone Cold Steve Austin theme song. Sure, that'll- What? [laughs] That'll work. What? [laughs] That'll work for your big, important announcement. [laughs] I don't have a vacuum. What? [laughs] This is awful. [laughs] I can't do the Stone Cold impression. [laughs] I can only go, "What?" [laughs] So instead of buying myself a vacuum when the, when the, the Prime Day or Days was happening- Yeah ... I decided to splurge, [laughs] and I bought myself a $60 trash can. $60. That would normally be $90. Nice. Is it one of the ones that you, like, wave your hand over it- Yeah ... and it opens up? I feel like a Jedi. I'm like- I got- ... "Open up" ... I got one of those recently too 'cause my other garbage, it just had had enough. It's a lot smaller in person too. Hmm. Oh, I, I was about to be very upset with you because yesterday on the noon hour when you le- you left early yesterday- Yeah ... so I had FJ on the show. Mm-hmm. And we were talking about the new trash can, and I was talking about how my front door is hard to find. DoorDash drivers, they, uh, will go around my building trying to find my place. Sometimes they'll message me, "Hey, I can't find your front door," so then I'll have to- It's not that hard ... then I'll have to go outside and be like, "Hey, I'm here. Look for the big, dumb, stupid guy. W- give me my food." You know, that kind of guy. Like, "Look for the door." Yeah, look for the door that s- [laughs] Well, here's the thing.
I, I said it's not a challenge to go to my place and get there before me and take my trash can. [laughs] And I thought you were tuned in yesterday because when I showed up to my front door, the trash can wasn't there. Oh. I was about to call you all livid. [laughs] And I'm like, wait, he, he's not moving. I, I... he's not gonna be able to pick up the trash can. Yeah, no. And he's not gonna- You got one arm ... you're not gonna have Becca, uh, do some dumb thing like come over to my place and take this expensive trash can- No ... and just hold it hostage. I was just laying in bed feeling sorry for myself. Yeah, so... yeah, and I figured Becca was with you. Yeah. And so I'm like, well, I, I don't think they would've taken it. And also I kept thinking like, maybe it's in my mailbox. And then I'm like, it's not gonna be in the mailbox. [laughs] It's a giant trash can. [laughs] What? So [laughs] th- that, that's what I said when I showed up to my front door and the trash can wasn't there. "What?" [laughs] Ah. But so then I'm like, wait, could it be outside the upstairs neighbor's door? Sure enough, it was. [laughs] And I don't know how you get confused because there's the big seven on the address, on my address, and you w- you delivered it to the door that says eight.
I don't know, Peaches. You- I don't know how to count ... numbers are hard, man. What? Once you get past three- [laughs] ... it's really hard. [laughs] Be like the Count in Sesame Street. One door, ah-ah-ah, you know? See, but they didn't get past three. And they, they couldn't get past three. The parents were like, "Stop watching that stupid show." [laughs] "It's gonna make you dumb." [laughs] Uh, so yeah, I took it from that guy's door, brought it back down to my place, opened it up. It's a box inside another box. Of course. And the box that the trash can is in is extremely small. Mm-hmm. Uh, my tr- uh, it's, it's supposed to be, like, 13 gallons- Yeah ... 13.6 gallons. Mm-hmm. I stand next to it, it's, like, up to my knee. Uh, you might've got a similar garbage can to me. [laughs] And so I, I, and if I'm like... I gotta wave my hand Over the lid which we gotta g- we, we gotta have batteries for
Yep, you had to put batteries in it
You had to put four double A batteries inside there
Mine took C batteries
Oh, geez
I was mad [laughs]
How much was yours?
I don't know. It was probably around 60 bucks or something
What? [laughs]
But the batteries cost just as much as the stinking garbage-
C batteries are awful, dude
I know. I'm like-
Aren't they-
... C's
... aren't they the big clunky ones?
They're, yeah, they're, they're big
Well, I mean, I'm thinking of D batteries but-
D's are extra big.
[laughs]
C's are one step down
[laughs] D's are extra big
D's are extra big. [laughs]
Where's my, where's my-
[laughs] Oh, yeah
... yeah. Well, I can't believe you. How many C's did it take?
I think four. I was n-
Oh, geez
... I was not very stoked about it
And so now-
They better last forever
... yeah, yeah. I mean, it said on the instructions for mine, "Hey, if the lid doesn't open all the way and it opens a whole lot slower than it usually should, replace the batteries." And I'm like, "I'm replacing batteries on a trash can."
Yeah
"And I paid more money for this thing."
Exactly, dude
But it, but it's stainless steel. It's worth it.
[laughs] Same with mine
Let me just walk to my kitchen. Let me wa- open up for me
And guess how, how quickly it got all filthy like any other garbage can?
Oh, I'm sure it did
Yeah
I, I was dumping, uh, old containers. I got... You're gonna hate me for this. Maybe I shouldn't tell you.
Eh, go on
Maybe you're gonna have a stone cold reaction. What?
What?
I threw away all my condiments-
No
... including the ketchup
You can't throw away ketchup, Peaches
It's the Trader Joe's organic ketchup. I'm like, "It's full of sugar."
Well-
"I'm on this my body is a temple diet."
Well, you don't want anything from that traitor Joe in your house anyway
What do you mean?
It's his name, Trader Joe.
Oh, okay
He's a traitor. [upbeat music]
It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem. I am Peaches
I am sick
Okay. Yeah
[laughs] I'm broken
Yeah, no kidding
I am injured
Uh, what are you, that Seether song?
[laughs]
I'm broken.
[laughs] I need a duet with Amy Lee
This is Victor.
Woke up a little off today. I can tell that something's wrong. Well, I woke up a little off the last few days
This was Becca's reaction when Victor fell over that planter
Are you dumb, stupid, or dumb, huh? Pretty much.
[laughs]
And, uh, yeah, I woke up... Ha- have you ever woke up and just went, "Ah!"
[laughs]
Like, right when you wake up? [laughs] It's a good way to get everybody in the house moving
Were you actually, uh, passed out?
Uh, passed out?
Well, you said you woke up
Well, I was asleep
You were asleep when you fell?
No. No-
Oh
... just the next day when I woke up, 'cause I didn't wanna go to the doctor that night. I was like, "It'll be fine tomorrow." Then I woke up and I barely moved and went, "Ah!"
Oh.
Just like, it hurt. [laughs] I saw white spots out of my vision
Did Becca give you a hand?
Uh, she was, uh, not helpful. No, just kidding. She had been taking care of me
I'm sure she recorded everything and, uh, put it on her Snapchat story. Know her-
No, she wanted me to, she wanted me to. I have camera of me falling down
See, Josh, I was talking to him yesterday morning and I was like, "I think Becca said the video exists, but Victor refuses to, uh, put it out there."
Yeah, it's embarrassing
Well, it's, if you put that video out there, I will put the video out there of me driving into the snow pile.
[laughs]
And you know what? I will edit both of ours to the beginning part of this song. Oh, I need to, uh, load up the song library. [laughs]
I was gonna say we need the, the, the, the wacky dance song, whatever that is
The wacky dance song?
I don't know what it's called
The Benny Hill song?
Yeah
What are you talking about?
Yeah. What's it called?
Uh, you know what? I'll just open Spotify 'cause I-
Yeah
... I, I, I wanna, I, [laughs] I wanna edit your fall. 'Cause how long did it take for you to fall?
Uh, not very long. I just crashed down.
[laughs]
[laughs] There was a time when I worked at Knott's Berry Farm and I was crossing the, the back cart to, uh, make sure to check the restraints 'cause it-
Mm-hmm
... you have to go down the one side, check the restraints of people, and if you really hated a particular person, you can just press that thing all the way down-
[laughs]
... and really wedge them in there. And so there was this one big fat guy I kept picking on. He was riding Boomerang like three times. I'm like, "Okay, let me just press it real hard on him."
[laughs] Geez
His, his big stomach's pressing out. [laughs]
[laughs]
And so he's like, "Hey, hey, hey." And I just ignore him.
[laughs]
And so karma gets me and I cross the back cart and I do this slow fall. You ever see one of those redwoods fall over?
Yeah
After a lumberjack knocked it down?
It was, uh-
That's, that's what it looked like, just slow boom. Then I land and my coworker, Gene, is like, "Are you okay? You just..." And they, the- everyone's laughing in the line. The line's like two hours long.
Yeah
And so I, I'm, I'm sure there's footage of that somewhere too.
Yeah, Becca thought the video was hilarious
Yeah, see, when-
I was like, "Yeah, no, I'm not sharing it."
We gotta, we gotta edit your fall to the beginning part of this song.
The, the, uh... Oh, where, why is it not playing?
I don't know. Oh, man
Oh, is it playing on the Z 103 computer? Is that what it's... 'Cause I have my Spotify open there
[laughs] Oh, probably. Yeah, must be
This web browser. Come on, play the song. It's not playing. Okay, fine. Okay, let's, let's do this here
Forget it
This... I'm, I'm going this long for this joke here
All right. All right, all right
I want you to fall to the b- to the beginning part of this song. We're gonna edit your fall to where it's just like
[upbeat music]
[laughs]
[laughs] To the beginning, to the beginning part of that. Just you falling over and over again. And you know what? I'll edit my crash video into the snow pile with it.
And then...
I remember when.
See?
Yeah. I remember, I remember when I lost my mind Once, once I'm feeling less self-conscious about it, I'll, I'll get the video out there
And then I'll edit that scream that you just did. "I, I remember when I lost my mind."
Ah!
There's that. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. We gotta, we gotta release the footage. We gotta have a blooper reel.
[laughs]
I mean, Jay drove into the building
I know. We didn't release the footage. [laughs]
We, we gotta have... I, I was talking with Maddie. I'm like, "What if we do one of those end of year, uh, blooper reel videos of what exactly happened at Riverbend-
Yeah
... that stays within the office maybe?"
That, that could be pretty funny.
Hm.
There's a lot of it. There's a lot of it
The top three contenders of the worst part, the worst moment of 2026.
Hm
My biggest fear, knocking on wood, my biggest fear is that we do a stage announcement and then I, I go on the microphone and I say, "Are you guys ready for Papa Roach?"
[laughs]
My voice just cracks.
That or I take a stumble and I fracture my wrist
You fall down on stage
I fall down and I kill the noise.
[laughs]
But, uh, I fall... It's my last resort. No, I c- I can't think of any other jokes about that. But-
Yeah
... what, what if they like, what if we did a hard intro for Papa Roach [laughs] and the lights go down?
And then you fall off the stage
And we're, we're running off the stage and I trip over the wire And all you hear is me screaming with the lights off, and then Papa Roach comes running out.
[laughs] That'd be a good intro.
And the, the lights come back on, and I'm just, like, writhing in pain on the ground.
I-
I look like Tom Segura after the slam dunk fail.
Yeah.
Or the basketball fail where he broke his arm.
Well, Peaches, you could always accidentally make it happen. [laughs]
Oh, sure. Great marketing for the station, sure.
Yeah. [laughs]
[upbeat music] Well, I had something else in mind for that last break, but I guess we'll talk about it here.
Oh.
Um, I, I've developed this very bad habit of taking a short nap on my lunch break, and also after I'm off here.
Okay.
I do double naps.
Ah.
And then I wonder why, "Why am I up at 1:00 in the morning?"
[laughs]
And then I go to bed, and I wake up early, and I wake up tired, and then I just repeat the cycle.
Yeah, yesterday I took a nap in the afternoon, and it screwed me up for the evening, but I, I-
Oh, good for you.
I've pretty much just been living in my room for, like, two days.
Oh, good for you.
Watching depressing shows, feeling bad.
[laughs] Hanging out with the cats.
You're sort of like me.
You, you, you're sort of like me, but you're, you're, you're the opposite. You're lis- you're looking at bad content. I, I, I'm listening... Well, I think I'm still listening to sad stuff, okay? Usually every year I have one song that I'm wholeheartedly embarrassed to have on my Spotify Wrapped.
Mm-hmm.
And to sort of, like, get myself in the mood to walk on my lunch break-
Mm
... to get my steps in on my lunch break, to amp me up for a, a workout on my lunch break, I'll listen to some sad songs that get me all mad. And so this is the one song [sad music]
I've been listening to quite a lot,
because I saw a reel talking about how Toy Story 5 is out now.
Mm-hmm.
And how the first one came out the year before I was born.
Is this, is this from Taylor Swift?
This is from Toy Story 2, okay?
Okay.
It's called When She Loved Me.
[laughs]
When somebody loved me. From Sarah McLachlan. Everything was beautiful. So I'll play this.
By the way, she just keeps singing about animals that need homes.
Every hour spent together. Tears within my heart. Shut up already. Life was so beautiful when she loved me.
[laughs]
I will see the sun. And then I'll, I'll... So I get teary-eyed, but then I'll get mad at the same time. I will feel again. I'll listen to old voicemails.
[laughs]
I will build a ship. And this, and then I amp it up and start walking to this. [upbeat music] But I pretend it's me doing the scream. [inhales] [upbeat music]
[laughs] Okay, Peaches.
I'll start walking fast.
There you go.
And so yesterday at Community Park, I'm f- I'm walking, I'm fast walking. I got my hoodie on, 'cause the, the, the, it's rainy all outside.
Yeah, it was chilly.
I, I'm, I'm walking, and I'm stalking some old man.
[laughs]
He's all hunched over. He's walking in front of me. I'm all angry with, like, tears in my eyes following this dude. And so then I take my first lap, and I'm like, "Wait a minute, this playground has a zip line. This is cool."
[laughs]
And so then I unplug my headphones, I got the cord dangling between my legs, and I go to record a Snapchat.
I come to find out, um, after I'm recording, there's a little girl on the playground [laughs] playing on swings, and I'm recording the zip line. And I, again, I got my hoodie on. I'm all angry. I got, like, tears in my eyes, 'cause I've been listening to Sarah McLachlan.
Boy.
And I, it looks like I'm recording this young girl on the playground with this cord, [laughs] my headphone cord.
Oh my gosh, Peaches.
[laughs]
Well, you're here, so you... Nobody called you in.
Nobody called me in, but I'm, I'm, I'm, I was hoping... I'm not hoping. I was thinking there would be some kind of post in Life in Idaho Falls, "Hey, has anybody seen this big, fat, bald, dumb-looking, stupid guy wearing a black hoodie, walking around Community Park recording little children?"
[laughs] It's probably in the Life in Idaho Falls group as we speak.
It's, it's Peaches, it's Peaches listening to these, these sad songs. Sarah McLachlan, how could you?
[laughs]
From Toy Story 2, singing about Jessie. Look at this.
This what you're gonna listen to on your way to jail? [laughs]
[laughs] When Somebody Loved Me. I'm singing in the back of the cop car like it's an emotional music video. I'm even singing to myself sometimes too.
[laughs]
Playing these songs on my headphones all loud. I bet that old man turned around a couple times, saw me stalking him.
Uh, yeah, I'm sure you disturbed him as well, Peaches. [upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.
[upbeat music]