The Truth In Love podcast will present God's timeless truth through the lens of His amazing love. We will do this not only through stories of people who have experienced His peace, love, strength, and wisdom through tough circumstances, but also by endeavoring to give the Bible’s answer to life’s great questions, like: Who is God, what's my purpose, who am I, how can I know God, what is heaven and hell, what is truth, and why is the Bible's truth better than my own version of truth? These are legitimate questions folks ask, and we as Christians should have the answers! God has a magnificent plan for every person. We are thrilled to be part of discovering and sharing what His Word reveals to bring hope, peace and great love into the hearts of all humanity. Join us every Tuesday morning at 5:00 a.m. CST for The Truth in Love podcast, with your host Kimberly Faith
Welcome to the Truth in Love podcast with your hosts, Kimberly Faith and John Mack. The Truth in Love podcast seeks to present God's timeless truth through the lens of his remarkable love.
Kimberly Faith:Welcome back to the Truth in Love podcast. Now this is the month of love, right, for pagan reasons, really. And maybe the Catholic church, I don't know, had something to do with that with Saint Valentine. But, nonetheless, we're celebrating the month of love, and I cannot think of a better couple to interview for this podcast than my wonderful dad and mother and just to celebrate your 50th anniversary, which is coming up. And you can tell all of our listeners your great secrets.
Lynn McLarty:That's why it is the month of love. It's our anniversary. Oh, it was
Kimberly Faith:for you. It was celebrating. Yes. Okay, mom. I didn't realize that.
John McLarty:And thank you for putting this together, Kim. It's going to be our our privilege and pleasure.
Kimberly Faith:Well, I, I wanna start by, first of all, just, giving the the listeners my observations about your relationship. I can I can honestly say there are not too many there are very few couples that I know who have the extraordinary relationship that you all have that is, completely centered in in God's love and in the mission of glorifying God? You know, you and as an adult, looking back over the, you know, the years, the one thing that I can unequivocally say about your your relationship and your marriage is that you definitely have practiced what Jesus said about seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you. Because in all the decisions that I've seen you make, it because your your ultimate SOP was glorify God. Right?
Kimberly Faith:That was the main thing that you set forth to do. Even as immature Christians, you know, you said we're gonna follow you, lord. And I've just seen, you know, of course looking back it's different than when you were I was a kid, but as an adult looking back, I just see how God has just gloriously added everything else to you, including a fantastic marriage. Not that you've been without issues, you know, because that's just part of living with another sinner. Right?
Kimberly Faith:Not that I would call my mother a sinner, but, you know. So I can't recall any sins, she's ever told me. I mean, it's hard. It's hard to it's hard to even pinpoint 1.
Lynn McLarty:I can think of a lot of them.
Kimberly Faith:So I kinda wanna just, starting with that as our general idea, tell our listeners, tell us your secrets.
John McLarty:Well, I think to start with is to to find the wonderful, perfect life like Glenn. And something really important, though, is once we were married, we were I think we've shared our testimony in previous podcasts. We were just wandering gypsy hippies, but fell in love with each other, got married. And then God, by his grace, showed us the way of salvation to the family from Latvia, the Abbers. And we were saved within 6 or 7 months of our marriage.
John McLarty:And it wasn't just a, oh, let's start going to church, or let's start reading studying the Bible. It was a glorious, full on 180 degree turn to Christ salvation. And that has just, that really set the stage for, dedication to to God. And it was just so simple to us just to follow God. It wasn't should we or shouldn't we.
John McLarty:It's just he really changed our life.
Kimberly Faith:And when you say follow God, you're talking about following his will and his ways
Lynn McLarty:a 100%. Yeah. I think that the people who led us to the Lord, gave us part of our success in their dedication to Christ and their, desire to follow him in every way and to live a godly life and be a good example. So that was, like, step 1. And then we met our pastor who has been our pastor for almost 50 years.
Lynn McLarty:And that and and then we're taught, about step 2. And I think step 2 was when we came and we joined, our church, through our in our and we've been taught, about the bible and have been in the church for almost 50 years, the same church. So that was kind of step 2 is getting in a good bible teaching church.
Kimberly Faith:You know, I I have a question for both of you. Dad, you mentioned that you met and fell in love before you knew Jesus. And so for our listeners who I'm sure most people have had that experience at one point, and maybe were not saved, maybe were saved. How would you describe falling in love as a non believer versus being in love as a believer? What's the difference?
John McLarty:Well, early on, I would say we were soulmates. We we fell in love, and our lifestyle was was very similar. We were all about, if you recall, your early days, we were both, involved in the food production.
Kimberly Faith:The hippie movement.
John McLarty:Yeah. The hip the back to the land. So, just just our lifestyle was was very similar. And then when we got saved, it was really the same that we were both on the same page spiritually. Mhmm.
John McLarty:But the the difference, I think, was growth. We began to grow spiritually. And I think that's you know, a lot of love stories start with this this great love, but they you know, just life happens and hardships happen, and it can, evidently dissipate when hardships come. But we got on that spiritual growth path. And I just really got I really wanna point out that Lynn and I weren't some kind of spiritual giants back then.
John McLarty:Like, we were above and beyond everybody around us. Because as Lynn said, we within about a year and a half, we joined this small church, about 50 people. But everybody was on the same level of dedication. And it was it like, there wasn't a different choice.
Kimberly Faith:Enthusiastic spiritual babies?
John McLarty:Enthusiastic spiritual babies, but you you went to church this Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, and everybody was doing that. So it almost wasn't an option to not be that way. So it wasn't like Lynn and I were some spiritually, you know, above anybody else. We were just that was the norm. Right.
John McLarty:And that really set a strong pattern in our life. And it wasn't obviously just going to church, but encouraged to read our Bible, you know, pray, study the bible.
Kimberly Faith:It wasn't about the about the, it was about commitment because what love really is is a commitment, a commitment to God, not just a a check the box Christianity.
John McLarty:So and and then there's there's that service that bonds you together.
Kimberly Faith:Mhmm. Because you
John McLarty:have this common goal of loving God, going to church. I mean, we're you know, we were started in the children's church, you know, would take on a class or became youth group leaders. So
Kimberly Faith:What do you think, mom? What was the difference for you?
Lynn McLarty:Well, I would say being with people in our our marriage, in other people's marriage, all committing together to serve god. But that commitment to god, even, I would say, cemented our commitment to one another in a way that they were both commitments. So it was like a commitment and other people being committed to do the same thing, to serve God, to love one another. It's not that we're with perfect people, but we're with imperfect people who love God and were committed to serve him and to keep and that kept our marriage cemented because we had the same goals and purposes.
Kimberly Faith:You know, that kinda reminds me, you're with imperfect people who love the perfect God.
John McLarty:Yes.
Kimberly Faith:And and it reminds me of this idea, we've written extensive devotionals about it and talked about it a lot, is the difference between the the kind of love we can have physically as humans, even physically, emotionally, mentally, versus supernatural love. When we're unified in God's supernatural love, that is a spiritual a spiritual love that moves our soul and our spirit that are regenerated. And that foundation is much stronger than the foundation that is rooted in maybe hippieville or food you know, back to the land movement or maybe even being lawyers, you know, if you're both lawyers or both artists or something, having a common purpose, physical purpose, you have a common spiritual purpose, which is an eternal purpose. And it it kinda reminds me of what Paul the Apostle said in Romans 8 38 to 39, says I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. If that's the foundation for your marriage, you got it you got it made in the shade, so to speak.
Kimberly Faith:Right?
Lynn McLarty:Right.
Kimberly Faith:But that is what you're what I'm hearing you say is this wasn't some hocus pocus. It was a commitment. That your love for Christ was manifested in your commitment to discipline yourselves, to unify yourselves with a body of people who would would also have the same commitment, which strengthen your marriage.
John McLarty:I think that's an important point that we experienced that. We weren't just taught that in, like, a marriage class. Like, this is how you should be.
Kimberly Faith:Right.
John McLarty:We joined this group of people that were all living like that. And we experienced that love from them. And we were able to give that love to others. And and just, you know, you think about a small church, 50 people. If somebody moved, the whole church would show up with food and trucks and trailers and, you know, move a family from one house to another.
John McLarty:Yeah. Yeah.
Kimberly Faith:It's family. It's a it's a supernatural family.
John McLarty:And when you think about that's discipleship. Yeah. When you're experiencing that, you're not just being taught about it. You're you're experiencing that. If somebody was in the hospital, our our pastor was a big influence, and his wife, Martha, of just how how to be compassionate.
John McLarty:So we we saw that. We experienced it. Then we began to be like that. Then that that blessing of serving that you you feel that, you know, that God is blessing your life through service, being a teacher or helping somebody else. So it really, it really was discipleship
Lynn McLarty:Yeah. In action. And just, you know, it's it's a church is imperfect. You you're filled with imperfect people, so you're learning from the imperfect mistakes and choices people make, and you're learning from those who make good choices. Right.
Lynn McLarty:So I would say that, John and I have learned from other people's mistakes and other people's victories over our flesh, because we're all just flesh.
Kimberly Faith:You bring up such a good point, mom. So glad you brought that up, because we I think in today's culture, the the church has taken, has been very the the image of the church has been very damaged by people abandoning the church. And when I say the church, what I'm talking about is not some universal church. I'm talking about the local new testament churches. This is what you're talking about.
Kimberly Faith:Right?
Lynn McLarty:That's right.
Kimberly Faith:And and so many people view, you know, they're gonna have their insular little family that's gonna be isolated over here, you know, out in the woods, and they're gonna create their own church. Right? Mhmm. But that that's not if you read the new testament, that's not at all what was was was happening in New Testament. That's not what Jesus talked about.
Kimberly Faith:And I think one of the what what I'm hearing you say is that one of the foundations, the best parts or the best most critical parts of having a successful marriage is to be part of a church that you're joining not because it's the perfect church, but because you wanna be part of the perfection of the church.
John McLarty:That's right. That's really interesting because this one verse that I I underlined here for this discussion is, it's Ephesians 4, and it's 12, and it's the purpose of the church. And the the church was given different leadership options or positions. And verse 12 says, for the perfecting of the saints. It's so the saints aren't perfect, but it's for the perfecting of the saints, the growth.
John McLarty:So for the perfecting of the saints, the work of the ministry. So you have this common work. And then for the edifying of the body of Christ.
Kimberly Faith:Wow. And, you know, dad, this is why the holy spirit is here right now. We didn't you didn't tell me you were gonna read that verse. I didn't know you're gonna read that verse. I didn't know mom was gonna say what she just said, but the holy spirit is clearly in charge of this podcast.
Kimberly Faith:We didn't rehearse this. No. Well, I so the church obviously played a very important part in accountability, discipline, because if you weren't there, there was accountability. Right? And you had people following up with you.
Lynn McLarty:Yeah. They'd be calling us. John, Lynn, are you alright? Everything okay?
Kimberly Faith:Like a family.
Lynn McLarty:Like a family. Yeah.
Kimberly Faith:I think I think, you know, one of the things that the Lord has taught me over the years about love is that when you build your your greatest love around your love for God, you know, then you have someone who loves you for who you are, not for your performance. And then you can love other people for who they are. Mhmm. You know, warts and all. Right?
Kimberly Faith:Instead of having expectation, you have an expectancy, which is a huge difference. And and I can't, you know, I that's what I observe in your marriage is that you all don't really place expectations on each other. You both just are so excited even first thing in the morning waking up. Hey, babe. How are you?
Kimberly Faith:Give me a kiss. And you've been married a lot of years. Is that would you is that accurate?
John McLarty:That is very accurate. And I'm saying other big factors having a common goal that's not necessarily to to have this perfect relationship, but the common goal for Christians is to glorify God and to be involved in soul winning. So that gives you a common goal. So you're you're almost immediately I'll I'll say a band of brothers Mhmm. Or you're this team that has a mission.
John McLarty:Yeah. And the mission isn't necessarily just to get closer and closer to each other. It's to serve God. But that makes you closer and closer.
Lynn McLarty:Right. Because you have a bigger purpose
John McLarty:You have a bigger purpose.
Lynn McLarty:Than And self. Than just yeah. To self satisfaction.
Kimberly Faith:Right.
Lynn McLarty:I think we, as women, I can speak for me as a woman, that we look for love. We we look for a love that is satisfying our needs instead of meeting the needs of others, and God satisfies our need our greatest need.
Kimberly Faith:Right.
Lynn McLarty:And instead of expecting our mate to satisfy the greatest need, God really satisfies the greatest need, and we are giving love to our mate.
Kimberly Faith:Right. Because if we expect to get the kind of love that only God can give us from our mate, we will crush that person with our expectation.
Lynn McLarty:That's right.
Kimberly Faith:But if we allow God to fulfill that greatest need, then we don't need anything from anybody else. We'd like to have it because that's part of the way God made us.
John McLarty:Right.
Kimberly Faith:But we we we were not getting that the way we need to from our mate or from even just a friend, you know, even just our friendships, our parents, maybe, our children. We don't have to crush them with that expectation, so we can be free to pray for them Mhmm. And to pray that God will also meet their need for love. Because then once you have all I love I love the book of Galatians chapter 5 where Paul can't contrast the fruit of the spirit with the works of the flesh because it's so glorious to be flowing outwardly outwardly flowing with the fruit of the spirit, love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, meekness. And that only happens when you're so full of God that you have to give it away.
John McLarty:I'm kind of having a a revelation here. I'm thinking about this this common goal. And when you hear about a band of brothers or then I'm thinking about sports teams that bond with each other. Mhmm. Or, you know, the movie, the Lord of the Rings, the the fellowship of the ring.
John McLarty:It wasn't just a group of people that got together and said, hey. Let's really bond with each other. That's our goal. We're just gonna get together, and our goal is to bond with each other.
Kimberly Faith:Right.
John McLarty:And that's in in a sense could be kind of just selfish. But they had all those cases for, say, it's warfare. We're we're going to go defeat Hitler or sports team. We're going to win the championship or, you know, some movie where somebody's they're bonded in a in a crisis situation. But because they're pursuing a common goal, which for the Christian and for the Christian couple is to serve God, to glorify God, and to be part of soul winning and out of and encouraging the brethren.
John McLarty:And by pursuing that common goal, the 2 participants
Jacob Paul:grow closer And
Lynn McLarty:you do that. The Lord's given us a church to do that in. Yeah. I think of, an arm a team of army I don't know what you call the smaller groups that unit Unit. That, you're there to I mean, if your brother falls down, you lift him up because he's on your team.
Lynn McLarty:Right. You don't just abandon him. Like, okay. Go your own way. Get shot over here.
Lynn McLarty:You know? You're you're sticking together, and you're encouraging one another because you have the same goal. And you do that. God's given us the church to do he's given us the family in the church to do that.
Kimberly Faith:Right.
Lynn McLarty:And it's a strong commitment to your unit.
Kimberly Faith:And think about the the multifaceted benefit of a church versus just a family. Yeah. You know, a family has a limited pool of talent and abilities and strengths, but a church that all has the common purpose to love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, and mind and glorify God, right, and carry out the great commission, which is to go ye therefore make disciples. Then you've got, you know, a person who's really good at woodworking, maybe teaching your son how or daughter how to make, you know, a woodworking project, maybe build a chair. But while they're doing that, they're teaching the child how to glorify God.
Kimberly Faith:Yeah. And they're they're fulfilling dementia in that child that you could never fulfill. And there's all this cross pollination, like your bees. Right, dad?
John McLarty:That's that's a good analogy. There is that, multitalented pool of people.
Kimberly Faith:So so you can have been talking about how the church has strengthened your marriage. Is there anything else that you wanna kinda talk about with that?
Lynn McLarty:Well, I was just thinking about how we need to not be critical of that other person in the unit Mhmm. As we're serving together because we all have our shortcomings, and we're all flesh, and we all fight against the same devil.
Kimberly Faith:Mhmm.
Lynn McLarty:The, you know, the flesh would have be selfish and self centered. So as we see our brethren selfish and self centered, we don't wanna be critical of them because we're the same way. We would all make we all make bad choices at times, so we have to give one another as a couple room to make mistakes to but we're there to lift them up and to glorify God together. So we want their life glorifying God as we want our life to glorify God.
John McLarty:And I think that's a great example. Linda and I have I was thinking of the same thing, of giving each other. She said room. I I was just thinking giving each other space and realizing there's different eras of our life. So, you know, here we are almost 50 years of marriage, and you have to there's different eras of your life where, like, early on when I was working, I retired in 2016.
John McLarty:But I had to be at work every morning, 7:30 or 8. So I wouldn't have these long mornings like Lynn could have these long mornings of quiet time and prayer, but she wouldn't put some expectation on me. Well, why aren't you having 2 and 3 hours a day of prayer?
Kimberly Faith:Right.
John McLarty:She just understood I was in a different situation. And then my strength at the time was I I got into concept studies. Mhmm. So it's very analytical. It's very you know, here's the outline, and Right.
John McLarty:I was reading the bible not so much to have God speak to me directly, but for a long time, it's like, oh, that would be great for body, soul, and spirit, or that verse would fit here. So we just had a different and Lynn would read the bible. He was like, oh, let me tell you what god showed me today personally, 1 on 1. Yeah. So we just kinda let each other, you know, express their talent and the time of life they were in.
Kimberly Faith:You were able to love them the way that God loved you. Yeah. Yeah. Each other.
John McLarty:And understand there's differences. Right. And then I think long term, the advice we could give is that things do change over time. Right. So like I'd say, in the last 5 years, I've become more oriented being in the word and that one on one speaking.
John McLarty:I just I've reread, like, the writings of Paul. And they used to I'd find concept verses, and now I'm going like, oh my. Paul was such a people person. Yeah. He was so involved with his brothers and sisters in Christ.
John McLarty:Right. And that's really jumped out. 20 years ago, I I never caught that, that Paul was like that.
Kimberly Faith:That's why the Bible is so incredible. It's just like, you could read the same verse over and over again in a different area of your life. The holy spirit can teach you something completely new from the same verse that you read even last week. You know? You know, something, mom, you said that, you were talking about loving the the people where they were.
Kimberly Faith:Right? And a a verse that came to my mind, that really, I think, is is profound in helping us understand. You know, Jesus told us in John 13:34, he said, a new commandment I give you to love one another just as I have loved you to love one another. That is huge. I have never considered that I could ever love somebody else like Jesus loved me.
Kimberly Faith:Well, we can't unless we're loving Jesus like we're supposed to love him.
Lynn McLarty:Right.
Kimberly Faith:But then in in, Ephesians 525, the Bible talks about husband, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. You know, the church is precious to Jesus. And when we treat it like it's trash or treat somebody in it like they're less than us or we look down our noses or judge or whatever, we're doing, you know, disrespect. We have to be very I mean, if the holy spirit is is presence is in us, then that's gonna be very grieving to the holy spirit if we're disrespecting another church member. Sure, we might need to help them, but we better do it with the attitudes of Christ, you know, a very meek attitude, a very poor in spirit attitude, a very, a high awareness of our own sin and our own flaw flawness.
Kimberly Faith:Right? Is that a word flawness?
Lynn McLarty:I think so. Flawfulness.
Kimberly Faith:And and I think that principle is if we would apply that across the board in all relationships, man, we would have more relationships than we could in the sand of the sea because people are drawn to that.
Lynn McLarty:Yeah. And and the wife is, you know, I I just think a wife kinda controls the, heart of the home, you know, and her forgiveness and her servanthood. So, I mean, I've learned that, my husband's a good teacher.
John McLarty:Mhmm.
Lynn McLarty:Well, I I I'm a good I'm good at serving his bible studies that he has at the home. My my role, as the Lord has showed me, is just to serve. So I'm not gonna be over there teaching. He's gonna be teaching, and I'm gonna be serving.
Kimberly Faith:And he's serving.
Lynn McLarty:And he's serving. Right. So it's a it's a team.
Kimberly Faith:It's a part of
Lynn McLarty:the It's a team effort. It's not like I need to be the main one teaching, and he needs to be serving me. Mhmm. God's given us both just it's kinda like he's put our marriage together as a unit. Yeah.
Lynn McLarty:And we've become 1, and we we don't you know, I don't envy his role and wanna be like him, and he doesn't wanna, you know
Kimberly Faith:And and it's not that the the roles are lesser. You know? A lot of people take the the, you know, the book of Ephesians, especially, and say, well, you know, wives, you need to submit. Husbands, you need to, you know, whatever. And and the thing that I think you miss the whole point of what Jesus is saying, love like I love.
Kimberly Faith:Well, Jesus was a servant.
John McLarty:Mhmm. And
Kimberly Faith:the the incredible thing about the personality of God and the whole persona of God is if you read about who God is, sure, we know his nature is righteous, just, and loving, but he personifies strength like out that that we can't even comprehend, but he also compassion that we can't even wrap our mind around. And you mentioned that women are the heart. I think for the most part, that's true, that that we are supposed to manifest all of the characteristics of God because they're so profoundly diverse that it takes multiple people to be able to even manifest what God looks like to our small human imagination.
John McLarty:And one of the talents Lynn has and has developed is she is a prayer warrior.
Kimberly Faith:She's inspired me.
John McLarty:And that and that has inspired me. Yes. So now that I have more time and then through an experience in a church, we went to your sister's church down in Houston, and we were challenged in the sermon to have a prayer list. And I thought, well, Lynn's got a prayer list. Why don't I have one?
John McLarty:And a lot of people started their prayer list that day.
Lynn McLarty:I did.
John McLarty:And it changed it has changed my prayer life for the good. Mhmm.
Kimberly Faith:Yeah. And and mom's been a great example of that. She's always had her little brown book.
John McLarty:But, Lynn, never I don't think everyone said to me, well, I have a prayer list. Why don't you have one?
Kimberly Faith:She wasn't your holy spirit. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Lynn McLarty:I think we have to give each other space to just develop as the Lord leads us because we can't be each other's holy spirit. I like to call that grace space.
John McLarty:Grace space. And now there's there's differences.
Lynn McLarty:Right. There's differences, and we need to we need to be that encourager for that person. We're to encourage each other in the church, but in a marriage.
Kimberly Faith:Yeah.
Lynn McLarty:It's not encouraging to sit there and shake your finger at your partner.
Kimberly Faith:But let me ask this question. Okay. So what advice would you give to, a person in a relationship? Could be a, you know, familial relationship, father, son, mother, daughter, could be, a marriage, it could be a friendship. When when you have seen when you see that person, when you see a person who is clearly hurting the relationship like the other person is hurting the relationship, what advice would you give?
Kimberly Faith:To the person who wants to help repair the relationship about how to do that.
John McLarty:I think of the verse. I don't I'm not sure where it is, but it's let this mind be in you, which is also in Christ Jesus, and that you esteem others more highly than yourself. It's like to help that other person to serve the other person.
Kimberly Faith:To draw them to repentance by the goodness of God.
Lynn McLarty:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not by our correction to them because we can't change each other. Only God's spirit can change us.
Kimberly Faith:That's so that's so powerful because it it you know, dad, we did this whole beatitudes, podcast series, and I think you guys hit the nail on the head. I mean, unless you're unless you have an attitude of your complete need for God and your complete awareness of how how horrible sin is and how it it kills everything. And and you can view that view that person through the lens of the attitudes of Christ. Exactly. You can't help them, but you can show them what God looks like.
Kimberly Faith:You can show them the goodness of God through the developing the attitudes that Jesus gave us in the amazing Sermon on the Mount. And is there anyone who's gonna say, oh, quit loving me so much or quit giving me a sense of peace? No. People are not gonna say that unless they're just out of their mind. You know?
Kimberly Faith:So I love that that that's your solution.
Lynn McLarty:Yeah. Just love them and give them space and pray for them.
Kimberly Faith:So okay. So we're we're we're getting did you have something to say? No.
John McLarty:It just goes back to if someone is if there's disharmony, the thing you can do is find your own joy. It's like, let this mind be in you, which is in Christ Jesus. Don't let the situation rob you of your own joy because you can because no one can take that from you because that comes from God.
Kimberly Faith:Right. I mean,
John McLarty:Paul had that person. Right. Paul had it in prison. So that lets you show the love of Christ that's put on Christ.
Lynn McLarty:And continue to do the things God wants you to do. Right. Right. And develop your relationship with God because you can't help somebody if you let that go and you get in a depressed state.
John McLarty:You get in a
Lynn McLarty:And you're not really helping anything. You're not even helping yourself.
Kimberly Faith:Yeah. Because you're drinking the poison, basically. Right. You know, you're you're you're not able to, experience full forgiveness towards that person, and you're letting them poison their own well of your joy. And and sometimes, I mean, I I've had clients in in bad situations and or even just close friends, and I have said, it's time to remove yourself from this situation because and if you are not glorifying god because there's so much poison being poured into your well, then you need to take a step back.
Kimberly Faith:And that person, the other person is going to feel the withdrawal of your your sense of the presence of God, because God's presence in us is so powerful when we let it flow through us. And I know in, you know, I I won't say who, but one of my family members, growing up, this family member, he well, never mind. He you know, if if if I distanced myself, there was a a panic that what have I done? What let's make it right. It was almost like there was this this this, great anxiety that the relationship had been breached, and it was really important.
Kimberly Faith:You know? And that's that that goodness that you bring to the table through exercising the fruit of the spirit that you aren't producing, that Christ is producing, really builds a bond. And if you withdraw that, a great gaping hole of longing for that other person. Does that make sense?
John McLarty:It does. Lynn, my lovely wife sitting here is a a joyful person. And if we are going through a family struggle, whatever it is, a car's blown up or the air conditioner went out or some you know, out of 8 children, one of them is having a a crisis. I I get a lot of encouragement from Lynn's joy, and because she has that relationship with God that, that I'm I'm getting like I say, I was more analytical and could teach the Bible studies, but Lynn's relationship with God has been a great encouragement to me.
Kimberly Faith:And you would not have wanted to be teaching those Bible studies if you didn't weren't weren't drinking in the spirit through the life of your partner. Right?
John McLarty:Exactly.
Kimberly Faith:Well, okay. So this is so good, and we haven't even really told your love story. And so I I wanna just open up the floor for the last 5 minutes or so to either share an experience or give a like, the one thing that you would give as advice to our listeners to have lasting love relationship that you've had over the last 50 years. And you can take more than 5 minutes if we need to.
Lynn McLarty:Well, I I think about one one important thing is, if you have a disagreement, don't let the sun go down on your wrath. You know, you love one another. Like, if if we grieve the Lord, our heart is we don't like that. We don't like that separation. If if we've done something to grieve god, we need to immediately want to get that right.
Lynn McLarty:So, other than the church and the unit and with things we've talked about, I would say if you have a disagreement, have a desire to get that right. Fix it. You know, you you can't fix it. You gotta you might need to apologize. You might need to, you know, talk things out.
Kimberly Faith:Have a hard conversation.
Lynn McLarty:Yeah. Yeah. So you need to not let that linger between that separation in the relationship, you don't want that to to say that way.
Kimberly Faith:How do you approach a hard conversation to talk about something that's, you know, maybe separating you?
Lynn McLarty:Well, the best way is just to go get with that person. Sometimes you have to give them some space. Mhmm. You know? And and if there's a problem, sometimes you you just need whether it's between you and god, sometimes you need space to kind of figure out what you're you've done in the relationship that has caused that separation.
Lynn McLarty:So sometimes you both need a little space, but then you need to reconcile. So you need to come together. You need to have a heart of yieldness, of listening to the other person, of forgiveness, and then kiss and make up.
Kimberly Faith:Okay, dad. What about you?
John McLarty:So I'll give kind of the other side of that coin, but it's it's in total agreement to talk out the problems. But one thing I've learned is before you have that talk, don't don't say the first thing that comes to your mind because our mind is so much tied to our flesh. And I'm so I'm just gonna give an example. Say Lynn, and it's hard to imagine Lynn hurting my feelings, but I'll just give an example. Say we have a big group, and she brings somebody, you know, said, who wants coffee and and pie?
John McLarty:And she fails to realize I'm sitting there. So she's bringing other people pie and coffee, and I might be sitting there going, but what about me? So so I say that hurts my feelings. And then so everybody leaves, and I'm sitting there with hurt feelings. So the question is whether to talk about it or not.
John McLarty:And sometimes I'll go and I'll just get by myself, and I'll realize Lynn absolutely loves me.
Lynn McLarty:Mhmm.
John McLarty:And that was just arbitrary. She didn't mean anything by that, so I'm not even gonna bring it up. And I pray about it. Yeah. And if and this is true.
John McLarty:If that feeling dissipates upon prayer, like, oh, okay. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna pass on this one. Right. But if I after I've prayed about it, there's no like I should we should talk about this. But just to get my feelings aired.
John McLarty:And Lynn, of course, could be,
Lynn McLarty:I'm sorry.
John McLarty:You know? But sometimes you ponder something and your your first words change.
Kimberly Faith:Right. Right.
Lynn McLarty:And you
John McLarty:go like, I'm glad I'm sure glad I didn't just blast that out. Yeah. So as to ponder it and then see if the spirit wants it discussed.
Lynn McLarty:And and I like to say something about that too, because sometimes, if after dad's pondered it and prayed about it and kinda got his first reaction out of the way and then we discuss it, it could be a good alerting thing for me because I think we should be thinking about our mates Mhmm. And serving them. Love that's part of loving them. So I remember when we had, I think it was the graduation, from college, and we had a probably a 100 people in our house. And I remember, and and this isn't just to pat myself on the back, but I remember having this whole house.
Lynn McLarty:It was outstanding room only, and my husband was talking to I think it was brother Kenny. And, I I remember going up to him in the midst of all these people and saying, honey, would you like a cup of coffee? And I think that not only honored him Mhmm. That I was thinking about him, but it was, a blessing to him
Kimberly Faith:that testimony. It
Lynn McLarty:was a testimony to others around him Right. That hear this whole whole house full of people.
Kimberly Faith:I remember that.
Lynn McLarty:And and I went up and asked my husband if he'd like a cup of coffee. Right. So I think that him bringing that up to me, if I have a yielded heart and want to love my husband in ways like that, then it can be a a thing to remind me.
Kimberly Faith:Well, I think something that comes to mind hearing you talk is, especially what you said, dad, is that we have, we could trust the other person's character and their relationship with God. Then we know their motivation is good. Yeah. And then we could are able to easily take ourselves out of the equation, those hurt feelings. And I'm like, no, I trust this person's character.
Kimberly Faith:Mom would have never left me out on purpose or to slight me or to, you know, to to shame me or anything like that. She was just busy.
John McLarty:Right.
Lynn McLarty:And then
Kimberly Faith:suddenly, you're out of the equation because you trust the person's character. And honestly, I think that is the number one problem that we have in trusting God is we do not trust his character because if we did trust our character, everyone who knows us would know him. He would be so prevalent, like, kinda like when you first fall in love with somebody, your whole face lights up with and you can't shut up about the other person because you're so in love with them. Right? That's the way we wanna learn to trust God, to trust his character implicitly so that in every aspect of our life, anytime we have anxiety, it's proof that we aren't trusting the character of God.
Kimberly Faith:And is that Yeah. That right? Okay. So I have one more question.
Lynn McLarty:Well, let me just make a comment.
John McLarty:Okay. Yep.
Lynn McLarty:Me learning from his maybe I could take it as criticism Mhmm. Of how I behaved. Mhmm.
Kimberly Faith:So badly behaved, mom.
Lynn McLarty:Yeah. But but if I'm trusting
John McLarty:He didn't bring me coffee
Lynn McLarty:Oh my gosh.
John McLarty:That time, 10 years ago.
Lynn McLarty:But but if I'm trusting his like you're saying, if I'm trusting that his heart is to love me Mhmm. And forgive me and, you know, that he wants the best for me Right. Then, I can yield at that time and say, well, this criticism is to benefit me.
Kimberly Faith:Right. Right. We trust the criticism. We trust the character.
Lynn McLarty:We trust the character.
Kimberly Faith:Right. So okay. One last question. I wanna so I want each of you to tell everyone what your favorite thing is about the other person. Mom, ladies first.
Lynn McLarty:Well, I don't know even if there's one favorite thing. I mean, there's just so many things. I feel very loved and secure that dad is my best friend. You know, we have a friendship, and we have a love that I feel totally secure in Mhmm. That I feel like, just totally like, I totally depend upon dad, but it's because of his walk with the Lord in Christ.
Lynn McLarty:I can totally rest in this relationship. There's not a struggle to loving my husband because I know he loves God and he loves me, and he's watching out for me. Dad?
John McLarty:Oh, that's so sweet. Well, that's my favorite thing about Lynn, what we just saw, her sincerity, her love of God, and her joyful spirit.
Kimberly Faith:I just, you know, I I think just listening to both of you, I'm grateful that I grew up, as your child because you modeled so many things that have not that were planted deep in my soul. And, just wanna publicly thank you for being such a strong example of Jesus, and, thank you for doing this podcast. And happy Valentine's Day and happy 50th anniversary, you 2.
John McLarty:This is day 1. We're going to celebrate 50 days for 50 years, and this is day 1. So this is wonderful.
Kimberly Faith:So fortuitous. Well, you have been listening to the Truth in Love podcast, celebrating 50 years of love with my parents, John and Lynn McLarty. Thank you for listening. Have a great week.
Jacob Paul:You've been listening to the Truth in Love podcast with your hosts, Kimberly Faith and John Mack. To discover more answers to the big questions in life, visit us atgofaithstrong.com.