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Mike Jarvis is a well-known name to fans of college basketball. In his long career at the high school and NCAA Division-I levels, he coached future professionals, including Hall of Famer Patrick Ewing, won hundreds of games, and developed a number of future leaders.
He coached first at Cambridge Rindge and Latin School, where his players included Ewing, and in NCAA Division-I at Boston University, George Washington, St. John’s, and Florida Atlantic. His teams made 9 NCAA tournaments, including a Sweet 16 and an Elite 8 appearance, and a number of NIT tournaments.
He has also served as a college basketball commentator and has written three books, Skills for Life, Everybody Needs a Head Coach and 7 C’s of Leadership.
We discuss:
- His biggest influence, Red Auerbach
- His coaching and leadership philosophies
- The benefits of playing multiple sports
- Achieving success at mid-major universities, along with major conference programs
- Coaching along with his son, Mike Jarvis II, on his staff
- The thrill of going head-to-head with Mike Krzyzewski, Jim Calhoun, and Jim Boeheim
- What separates the good players from the great ones
- What he’s learned in life after basketball, and what he wishes he knew back when he was coaching
- Message to coaches who want to make their mark
Subscribe to Sideline Sessions here: https://ss.bepodcast.network/subscribe
About the host
Ross Romano is co-founder of the Be Podcast Network and also hosts The Authority Podcast. He began his career in the pro sports industry before becoming a leading communications, marketing, and management expert working with education companies. He is founder and CEO of September Strategies, a coaching and consulting firm that helps organizations and high-performing leaders in the K-12 education industry communicate their vision and make strategic decisions that lead to long-term success. He also works directly with professionals at all levels, in all industries, coaching them in their pursuit of success.
Are you a professional looking for insights to reach the next level, find a fulfilling new career, or achieve peak performance? You may be a candidate for performance coaching. Schedule an introductory chat here.
Creators & Guests
What is Sideline Sessions?
Designed for coaches, parents and other stakeholders in the world of youth, scholastic, and amateur sports, this show brings you interviews with leaders at the highest levels of their respective sports.
Hear from coaches and performance experts with experience in the National Football League, National Basketball Association, Olympics, and NCAA Division-I, plus those who run elite youth programs, successful high school teams, and more. Hear about their motivations, philosophies, and strategies for success, and take away actionable insights to support the athletes in your life.
Ross Romano: [00:00:00] Welcome in everyone to another episode of Sideline Sessions here on the BE Podcast Network. It is, as always, a pleasure to have you with us. And this is going to be a great conversation. I guess I'm really thrilled to be chatting with my guest today is Mike Jarvis. Coach Jarvis had a long career as a head basketball coach at the high school level at Cambridge Ridge and Latin School up in.
Massachusetts, where his players included Pro Basketball Hall of Famer Patrick Ewing, and in NCAA Division I basketball at Boston University, George Washington, St. John's, and Florida Atlantic. His team's made nine NCAA tournaments, including a Sweet 16, an Elite 8 appearance, and a number of NIT tournaments.
He has also served as the college basketball commentator, and he has written three books, Skills for Life, Everybody Needs a Head Coach, and The Seven Seas of Leadership. Coach Jarvis, welcome to the show. It's great to be on. Thank you. I wanted to start kind of with a big picture question about your [00:01:00] coaching philosophy as it developed throughout your career.
Maybe you started and finished with a similar philosophy or maybe it's one that, you iterated on over the years of coaching, but yeah, what was your approach, your philosophy, your kind of way of thinking about what it means to be a coach?
Mike Jarvis: Well, first of all, you know, I started out coaching because of my love for not only the game, but also for the young people who play the game and their futures.
So I always believed that basketball could serve and does serve as a means to an end, and that, you know, one can get not only fulfilled athletically, but one can fill up academically, and also socially, intellectually, spiritually, I just think that you know, if it's done right, it can basically provide you with a treasure full of experiences and [00:02:00] potentially help your future.
Ross Romano: Yeah. Who do you have? It could be one person. It could be, I don't know how many, but who are the biggest influences on you? Either, you know, coaches you learn from when you played or while you were coaching or just, you know, even other people in your life who weren't necessarily, you know, coaches, but people who influenced the way you approached your work.
Mike Jarvis: Well, my first head coach was my mother and she taught me the importance of work. She taught me the importance of teamwork and basically she encouraged me. She gave me the courage. And the confidence to basically you know, pursue my dreams on, I've had some great youth coaches. I had a great little league baseball coach who taught me how important fundamentals were as well as my first.
organized coach in basketball, a fellow by the name of Rince [00:03:00] Jefferson back in Cambridge, who taught me and many other youngsters how to play and what it meant to be a player. And then I had a great college coach in Dick Dukeshire at Northeastern University. That's where I really learned how to teach basketball.
And then I worked with some great people like Tom Satch Sanders from a Boston Celtics. He and I worked together at Harvard University for four years. And then I had some mentors along the way. My most famous mentor was Red Arobat, and I learned a lot of life lessons and coaching lessons. from Red Arrow back from the very first time I met him.
So I was blessed to have many, many great people in my life that really taught me what it was really like to be a coach and what a coach should be like.
It's interesting. You mentioned a number of, of influence and people who certainly. You know, [00:04:00] we're within the sport of basketball, but also from other sports, from other areas of life.
Ross Romano: And it's making me think of something that just came to mind the other day when I was listening to some discussion about some of the great athletes who have become, the elite, top players in their individual fields. One in pro basketball with Nikola Jokic, who's just won his third MVP and then the baseball player Mookie Betts, who's one of the best and both of them are examples of, they played a lot of different sports.
Growing up, they don't even necessarily consider the one that they're professional in to be their best, right? Had a lot of different interests, learned a lot of different skills from different places, and oftentimes I think that's talked about as, an [00:05:00] exception, Oh, well, this guy's so great at this and it's not even his favorite thing, or it's not even necessarily, but I think speaks to maybe something that's worth revisiting about how youth athletes are coached and developed nowadays.
Certainly at the younger levels up to high school and even into college the overemphasis on specialization of just doing one thing, just playing one sport, always focusing on that one thing is, probably more often detrimental than helpful
Was that where you, like when you were coming up, you mentioned little league baseball, were there other sports, other things that you were involved in that kind of gave you different perspectives on what you eventually ended up doing? Well, you know
Mike Jarvis: what,
Ross Romano: back
Mike Jarvis: in the day, back in the, I guess, 50s, 60s.
Even 70s, I think most [00:06:00] kids grew up, you know, playing the three traditional sports by season football, basketball, baseball. And what I learned a long, long time ago was that there was skills that you could learn in those various sports that would carry over into other sports. And I never forget, you know, working with basketball players, trying to teach them how to throw the full court baseball pass.
And some of the guys, it took a long time to learn that because they never played baseball. So, you know, you learn different things in different sports. And just like, for example, Patrick Ewing was a great basketball player, and had a chance to be that because of his footwork. And the footwork that he had was developed playing soccer as a youth in Jamaica.
So the carryover, I think, is really important. And, you know, you learn how to compete no matter [00:07:00] what sport you're in. And if you've got good coaches, they teach you that you play not only to try to be the best that you can be, but you play to try to win the championship, try to be the champ, get whatever you do and try to be the best at, at it.
So, you know, those are the kinds of things that you can pick up in other sports and I, and I just think that, you know, we've gone to a point where You know we over specialize and a lot of times youngsters maybe, you know, don't even know what their, their best sport is. I remember teaching in high school.
I remember, for example, there was a youngster in particular that tried out for the basketball, he loved basketball, but he wasn't a very good basketball player, but boy, could he run. So when I decided that I wasn't going to select him for my team, we spoke and I said, you know, You would probably be great at track and field.
So when he was cut from the basketball team, he went to the track [00:08:00] team. He eventually became state champion, got a full scholarship to college and went on to have a very successful career in life. So you just never ever know what your best sport is, but you got to, I think you have to play different sports to really find out what you really are best at.
Ross Romano: Yeah, it's interesting, I know. I'm only thinking about it in real time right now, but of what's coming to mind, who are, some of the players that became the best basketball player ever, right? Everybody knows that Michael Jordan also played baseball, and LeBron James played football, and Allen Iverson played football, and Joel Embiid grew up playing soccer, right?
All these guys should prove that, you know what, only doing one thing all the time is, Not, there's no reason why that should be the best thing. it takes the love out of the game [00:09:00] for a lot of young athletes who get tired of doing the same thing year round, you get tired of being with the same coach all year round, right?
You get injuries from using the same muscles as you're still developing all year round. You may fail to discover the thing that you end up really enjoying or really being great at and it's important to have different interests, different exposure. Anyhow going back to the basketball thing, one of the things that stood out to me in your head coaching career is.
The success that you had, especially at a couple of, you know, what we would call mid majors in NCAA. at Boston University and at George Washington. when you look at the combination of kind of, winning percentage while [00:10:00] you were there of tournament appearances as successful or more successful really than any other coach that's been at those programs.
and those are places where there's clearly a lot of potential, right? Schools in major cities you know, they have a lot to offer, good academics, all of that, but that they're not always as successful athletically. They have good times, they have down times, right? But what are some of the things that you learned coaching at those type of schools as far as what you look for in a student athlete who's going to be successful there, or maybe the things that, you know, and as we're thinking about our listeners, we have listeners who are coaching, maybe in college, maybe coaches at high school, parents of student athletes who are at the high school level, who are thinking about what makes them a fit for different programs.
But I'm wondering if there's things that [00:11:00] stand out to you that said, well, this is what helped me be successful there. Maybe something I did differently than I think other coaches would have done there, or just, these are the types of. young athletes that are really successful and help those programs be successful.
Mike Jarvis: Well, I think first of all when I look back at the different places that I've been, you mentioned Boston U, you mentioned George Washington and probably George Washington more than any other place. I think the key. For my success at George Washington, I should say our success at George Washington, was the leadership of the school.
That I was recruited to GW because they thought that I had the potential to take them somewhere they'd never been. And they provided me with all of the tools resources that I needed to succeed President Trachtenberg, and particularly Vice President Bob Chernak were the [00:12:00] two key elements.
And I often say that they were my MVPs because they basically gave me what I needed to succeed. And they supported me. And if we had Mulligans and we could do it all over again, I probably would have never left George Washington. Probably shouldn't have, but I did. And that's another story.
But I think it starts at the top. I think the leadership of the program. So I think a coach has to really do a good job recruiting, scouting. The people that he's going to work for to really know that they're going to have his back and they're going to be with him through thick and thin, and they're going to support him and give him what he needs.
And I think you have to really do an assessment of the school and the city and the locale that you're at. You know, what's the school like academically? What's the school like socially the school environment like, and what young men. are gonna best fit there. And when I was at [00:13:00] GW We decided that, you know, we weren't going to be able to out recruit Georgetown, who was one of the elite programs at the time, and Maryland.
So we had to do something different. And the different that we had to do was we had to recruit internationally. But it was in the most international city in the world, so that fit. So if you could find the right possible solutions to fit, Your particular environment. I think that that makes all the difference in the world.
And then like I said, you gotta get kids, who are not only high ability players, but high character people. And Red Auerbach, one of the many things I learned from him, and he taught me he said one day, he said, Mike, make sure that you recruit character. not characters.
And I've been to places where I've had kids of character and I also had a lot of characters, but I think character comes into play with being successful no matter where you are.
Ross Romano: Yeah. [00:14:00] and you know, what you mentioned about the administration and the school and, you know, the institution having alignment with what you're Goals would be for the program is a good takeaway.
for other coaches out there who may be, in some phase of this, Maybe looking to make a move between levels, high school, college, or one college program to another. and especially with some of the way that sport has, evolved. If your only measure of success is championships, there's very few who are going to do that.
and sure that typically there's only so many programs that are typically contenders, but you really can be successful in a lot of different. You know, we've seen it over the years with all types of schools, big, small, traditional [00:15:00] powers, non traditional who have had a lot of success and So often what happens is, that one great year leads to a new job somewhere else and money's one thing.
And, sometimes you get an offer that you can't refuse, but is there always time to really evaluate? Is this a place where I'm going to be successful? Is the leadership here, are the people who are hiring me, the administration Do they have the same goals that I have, or are they willing to support or put the resources into what we want to do here, or is it going to be kind of a short lived thing and I would imagine that a lot of coaches have had that.
Experience, right, where they went to a new place that seemed like a good opportunity, but then realized, hmm, you know, they're not [00:16:00] necessarily committed to doing the things to support the program that are going to enable us to really have the success that we want. Maybe it's a place where. The particular sport that you're coaching is not their priority.
Maybe it's a place where they're looking for quick results that don't allow for the time to really build something or build it the way that you want, or you know, something that's come up on this show in the past is the challenge of. doing something new, right? That emphasis, you mentioned the emphasis on character and the types of people, right?
Not just student athletes, but the types of people that are going to help you build what you want to build, that can take some time. You come into a place, there's already a roster there. You have to evaluate who's there and some are [00:17:00] a great fit. Some might not be, you know, it takes. a matter of years realistically to put together a program that's representative of your vision.
And do you have alignment with the leadership to say, well, this is what it's going to require. And by, you know, Year three, four, whatever, it should look like what it's supposed to look like. And if we're, you know, if it still doesn't by then, then maybe we're not doing it right. But I think that's something that a lot of coaches maybe have learned the hard way, right?
To say, Hmm, I wish I would have asked this or figured this out before making this decision because it turned out to not be what I wanted.
Mike Jarvis: Right. and you know what, that is so, so true. And I can speak. to that from experience. Of course, now, the game has changed, especially, you know, the college game with the [00:18:00] portal where players can play unlimited years, where players can transfer unlimited times and be eligible right away, and then with the NIL money that players are now being paid.
It's much more professional approach than what you described. The way you described it was the way it used to be. You dealt with what you had, you evaluated what you had, and then you went from there. Now, I mean, there are coaches that will go in and take their roster and, I mean, complete, like 90% Changeover, you know, bringing in all new players.
And they may have success right away, no doubt about it, because they're going to get or buy the best players. But I don't think that's the best way, or the most, the way it should be. So, it's, it's changed tremendously And then I think the other thing that you have to really do as, as the head coach is you've got to really try to recruit really, really good assistant coaches, good guys that fit your style, guys that [00:19:00] can come in and align with, you know, your goals and your objectives.
And then, and I, you know, once again, I still think that, that every player can be, improved that every player can get better. So teaching and coaching are synonymous. You have to be, I think, a good teacher to really get your players to another level. And you know, I, I think with the emphasis now being placed mainly on talent, as opposed to potential, development.
I think it's changed a lot.
Ross Romano: And I guess it also speaks to the importance of establishing as an individual, as a coach, what are your goals? What are your goals for your career? What are your goals for the impact you want to have? If your goal is, I want to win as many games as possible or, you know, compete for championships at X level, then your decision might be.
Okay, go to the place [00:20:00] where that's what they do. If your goals are, you know, if you have broader goals or other objectives around the way that you want to work with athletes, the type of relationships you want to develop, et cetera, you have to go a place that's going to allow you to do that. And there are different places necessarily, right?
The place where it's championship or bust. Maybe you're lucky enough to do both, but ultimately you're judged on that one thing. But there's plenty of other places where to be a success and to have a long career and to have, you know, maybe build a life that you want outside of your job as well, right, is is more compatible with the way that that institution works.
Absolutely. And it's perfectly fine for different coaches to have different goals, but it's important for them to decide for themselves, this is what I want my career to be. This is what I [00:21:00] want.
Mike Jarvis: Yeah. Yes, absolutely. And I think sometimes we make the mistake of believing that you can have it all.
And the reality is you're probably more likely going to get part of that as opposed to all of it. I thought, you know, that I could have it all. That I could not only win championships, but continue to teach and coach and to build relationships. And sometimes you find out, you know what, it's not always all going to be compatible.
So you gotta, I think you have to do a lot of soul searching. I think you have to, you know, if you are a person of faith and you believe in God, I think you have to. Spend a lot of time talking to the main source and try to get the direction that you need internally as well as externally, and it can't always be about that money because that is a fleeting factor,
Ross Romano: you know, another unique thing, anything that stands out about your career is [00:22:00] that the opportunity you had to coach with your son to have your son become a coach on your staff.
Tell me about that. I mean, how did he decide on his own? He wanted to get into coaching. Was it, you knowing what you knew, of course, by doing it, but that's something I'm sure that every coach who has kids thinks about at one time or another. I wonder if they're going to get into this or, or it's something they explore, but you've lived it.
Mike Jarvis: Well, you know, a lot of coaches will tell you that they tried to talk their son out of it. They didn't want their son to get into the business. I did not feel that way. I loved what I did, and I thought it was a great profession, still do, and my son was with me. He started out as my bat boy when I was coaching freshman baseball at the high school.
He was my ball boy. When I was an assistant coach in college and then a head coach in high school he eventually played for me and I think from [00:23:00] the time he was probably 10 or 11 or 12, maybe 12 when he was 12 years old, I had the opportunity to coach the McDonald's all American game and to pick my assistant.
And I picked my 12 year old son, Michael, to be my assistant. So off we go to the McDonald's all American game. Who's on that team? Michael Jordan. And so his first coaching job was coaching Michael Jordan as a 12 year old. I don't think he ever, ever thought about doing anything else other than being a coach.
And, you know, he loved me, I loved him, we loved being together, we were best friends, we went everywhere together, did everything together. And when he graduated from Boston University in 1992, he said, Dad, I really would like to come and work for you. His agent was his mother. She negotiated a good contract for him and he came to work for me in our first year together [00:24:00] coaching Sitting next to each other and coaching with each other We went to the Sweet 16 where we played against the Michigan Fab Five in front of 40, 000 people in Seattle Superdome and on national television on CBS.
And we were the first African American father, son coaching team in the history of division one college basketball. And We coached together for over 20 years, and that was probably the, I'd say the most memorable thing of my coaching life and coaching career was coaching with, and besides, my son.
And that's what I miss more than anything else. I miss that. I miss the competition that we would have against, playing against the best teams and best coaches in the country. Teams like Duke and Mike Krzyzewski, you know, Jim Calhoun at Connecticut, Jim Boeheim at Syracuse. I miss coaching against those guys, even though it meant that you're probably going to lose as much as you [00:25:00] win.
But I love the challenge. And just the thrill of the games in those big time arenas. We played in just about every big arena that there is in the country, from the Pauley Pavilion at UCLA to Rupp in Kentucky, to Allen Fogg in Kansas Cameron Indoor Athletic Stadium at Duke, so Syracuse Dome.
And we played everywhere. And then of course, when I was at St. John's, we played our home games in Madison Square Garden. So I really missed that. I never realized how much I loved the competition of the game and I missed the paycheck, to be honest with you,
Ross Romano: probably in that order. All right. Well, it's the, yeah, it is.
It certainly is the and when do you, You know, you've done it a lot of times, right? You can you become used to it and used to, you know, what it means to coach the home team at Madison Square Garden, for example, and [00:26:00] things that either before you got to do it, you might have never You know, or only dreamed of it, or later on you realize, Oh, that was so much fun when we were doing that.
But I mean, I love what you said about that. You love what you did and. You thought it was a great, a great option, right, for your, your son to go into and how a lot of people from any kind of field, it doesn't necessarily need to be sports coaching, feel differently and might say, oh, you won't do this and how that, maybe that's an opportunity for reflection that if, if you're thinking that what you're doing is not what you'd want, you were, you know, In a lot of cases, that might mean maybe you shouldn't be doing it, right?
If there's a reason why it's not something you'd recommend [00:27:00] and you know, and that there are other opportunities out there to either make something different of the experience. Oh, well, because of this career, it takes away from X, Y, Z, other things, or, Whatever the case may be that it's at the very least, it could be an opportunity, let's say if there's a coach out there who's thinking, I wouldn't want my kids to do this maybe to change the way you're doing it.
Maybe it doesn't mean you have to change what you do entirely, but to say, look, what are some of the assumptions I'm making about what this career needs to be?
Mike Jarvis: Yeah, it might mean that what are the adjustments that you have to make? In other words, is it because you're getting kids that you don't enjoy coaching?
So now you have to change your recruiting style and the type of kids that you recruit. Maybe it's the level you're recruiting at. Maybe you're at a level that you can't really be the teacher. [00:28:00] And the father that you want to be is it taken away from your family? So how can I maybe involve my family more in the work that I'm doing?
So you gotta make adjustments and I think you have to really dig deep in search to find the kind of true happiness that you want in whatever you're doing.
Ross Romano: Is there anything I feel like you've mentioned a couple of things already, but now that you're no longer coaching, when you think about your coaching career that you.
You've learned since you retired that you wish you had known while you were still doing it. You know, maybe not even necessarily things that you think, you know, back on, but just even now having a different perspective, a different lens of Still being involved with the game, but a different ways and kind of being able to reflect on it that [00:29:00] you say, I wish I thought of this back then or well, you know, I
Mike Jarvis: I wish I had done a better job in the area of building. Lifelong relationships I wish I had spent more time getting to really know where my players were coming from you know, what were their backgrounds, what were some of the struggles that they endured when growing up, what were their parents like what were the things that they really, really needed?
I, at times, got so involved in the day to day operation and the game to game operation that I think I could have spent even more time really knowing my people better and loving them more than I did, maybe loving them in different ways, you know, and not always with tough love. I think at times I might've been a little bit tougher than I probably should have been.
and [00:30:00] I tried to treat my players like my family. But didn't always do that. And it's something that I think I wish I had done a little bit better, to be honest with you. You know, and just maybe spent more time reflecting and thinking about the things that really Made me who I was, and try to maybe do a better job instilling some of those things into the kids that I was entrusted with.
Ross Romano: are there skills that you feel now or consistently? You want it to players develop beyond basketball skills, you know, life skills, leadership skills, with intentionality. I think a lot of times, you know, we think like sports organically help us develop a number of life skills, just by the nature of playing.
being part of a team with a variety of different people, right? The experiences they give [00:31:00] and certain things you can learn just by participating, but there's also opportunities, of course, to make that the goal and to teach those lessons. Are there some of those that stand out to you?
Mike Jarvis: Yeah, there are many you know, in the books that I was able to put together with always with some really skilled and great people talk about many of those skills. And I think that some of those skills, like in the last book I wrote, The Seven Seas of Leadership, you know, leadership, you talk about having the ability to inspire people to affect change.
And also to serve people and I think that, for example, when I look at those seven C's, there are a few that pop out more than others and one of them is communication and I think that you know, in fact, now I'd like to, when I speak to groups, I often will key in on communication and how communication serves also another C, which is courage.
We get courage. [00:32:00] And we, by words of encouragement, so I think we have to be really intentional about what we say, how we say it, and how it's received. So communication, I think, is a life skill that if you can, if you can use that and teach that in a meaningful way, then those who receive it will be able to share that with other people.
Community is one of the C's I speak about, you know, and how we are. How we should take our skills and our gifts and share those with other people in our community. That community starts with our family, and then it goes into where we live and where we work. You know, so what can we do on a daily basis to contribute and to grow?
into the help to develop our community, you know, and then I think, you know, the whole coaching aspect you know, we are all, we're all leaders, whether we like it or not, we're all coaches in one way or another, whether we like it or not, and [00:33:00] we're all also students, players, whether we like it or not.
So whether we are being coached or we are doing the coaching I think we've got to really, really, you know, decide what do we want to teach? What do we want to learn? And, you know, and I think, you know, there were a couple other things that I think you know, that are incredibly important that I could have done.
And if I had a mulligan, I could do it all over again. I would have spent a lot more time in teaching and working on the area of networking. Because I think that networking, when you really come down to it many times, it's who you know, as opposed to what you know, it's also, you know, getting yourself in a position where you can meet people that can not only help you navigate your life, but help others as well.
So networking, I think is incredibly important. And then managing. Money. I did an awful job of that. And I would love to hope that, you know, if I could do it [00:34:00] over again, or if I have a chance to work with young coaches or older coaches that I could really get them to understand that the importance of that I'm 79 now.
I feel like I'm, you know, some people say I look like I'm a lot younger, which is a nice compliment to have. But at the same time, the reality is I'm 79 years old. And you know, and yet I know that you know, that you know, we don't, we're not here forever. So we have to really be very intentional.
About all of the things I just mentioned, and that includes how we handle our money.
Ross Romano: Yeah, and there's no, with all those lessons, I mean the first one you mentioned is communication. That's one I think about a lot. That there's an undetermined and very long life on what that skill and the way that each of us if we're [00:35:00] fortunate enough to be in a position of leadership and of influence on others, how long that can carry.
So, as a coach, you had people who coached for you, and then they went on and coached elsewhere, and became head coaches, or they played for you, and they became a coach, or they played for you, and they went on to do something different, you know, to a different position. Profession. And then they had other people that they were leading and, you know, and, and if they developed that skill and then they used it and then people learned it from them and so on.
That it's almost, you know, there's that old where that, that childhood you know, game of telephone, right? Where I whisper something in your ear, you whisper, and, and by the end of it, it's. Something totally different than what it started with. Oh, absolutely. And that's almost like a good example of if you're not effective at communication, that's what the message ends up [00:36:00] being, right?
If the people who are, you know, playing for you, working for you have to read your mind. They think this is what to do, and then they go and they do something that's a little different, and then the people learning from them. Get it a little bit wrong and buy a few generations down the line. It's like, well, that's not what I, that's not, that wasn't my approach.
Mike Jarvis: Yeah, absolutely. And you know, it's really funny. It's like, I was with one of my former players not too long ago. He was known as then he's now world meta piece and You know, he was just, he was saying how, you know, and I, I never heard him say it before, but he says, you know, coach was, was our father, you know, for many of us, he was the father we didn't have.
And you know, so when you think about how you're perceived I think it can have a great deal of effect on not only what you say, but how you say it. And you, you know, you [00:37:00] got to really know that you're, the people that you are saying it to, the people that you're communicating with, understand what you're saying and, and basically, you know, the, the, the real true meaning.
comes through the way it was intended. And many times, you know, we say things that we think are appropriate, but they're not to the listener. And so you got to really, I think you have to be a real intentional listener in order to be a real effective communicator. You know, you have to listen first before you speak and you have to understand.
what's going in those ears so that what comes out of your mouth can really be effective.
That makes me think of too, right? An opportunity that you still have to hear from former, you know, players who played for you 20, 30 years ago what resonated with them or what they remember Is there any, you have a [00:38:00] message on that maybe to coaches who are kind of mid career now and thinking, okay, I'm thinking about the mark I want to make or what I want my legacy to be coaching like, you know, like life, like a lot of things.
Ross Romano: I mean, if you're lucky, okay, if I'm lucky, I have this many years left to do this job. Ultimately. You can't guarantee it. You're not in control. Somebody has to want to hire you. Right. But okay, well, my career probably will look like this and I have this much time left and the legacy of what I did while I was doing this job is going to outlive the time when I'm doing it.
and sometimes I think everybody probably has, or most people who have some vision of what they think that is when they choose to pursue that as a [00:39:00] profession. But maybe not everybody takes as many opportunities at different junctures. To revisit that and say, okay, I've been doing this for X number of years.
Now I have X number of years left and here's what I want to try to do between now and then that leads to an impact. far beyond what we do on the field or I don't know, but you know, what, what do you have a thought for how coaches who are kind of in that position now might take a moment to say, okay, let me take inventory.
Let me really think about what I can still do or what I want that to be.
Mike Jarvis: Yeah. And I think that you know, I thought that I would coach until the day I died. I thought that they'd probably be carrying me off the court. directly to the cemetery, put me in the ground and that would be it, but doesn't work that [00:40:00] way usually.
So you have to start to really think about, okay, just like, you know, we, you never know really, how to get to where you're going, unless you put a game plan, you know, you put that road map together or you get the directions as to where you're going.
But sometime, you know, you just got to start to really think years ahead. You got to start to say to yourself, okay, where am I going to be five years from now? Where am I going to be 10 years from now? What would I like to be doing five years from now, 10 years from now? And I think sometime we do something for such a long period of time that we think we're going to do it forever.
And when all of a sudden it ends, it's like for a lot of people, That's the end. And that's a really tough road to go down when you start to really say, you know, where am I? What am I doing? What's my purpose now? You know, I knew what it was then. So I think we gotta do for ourselves what we try to do for our players and give them [00:41:00] options.
I remember going over to Kuwait with a group of coaches to do a basketball tournament for the servicemen and women and a meeting with one of the generals. He said, you know, look over my desk is a little message that I think is very important. He says, what I do the general is. I adjust and I adapt so that I can overcome and win the battle.
And I think that's what we have to do as individuals, we have to adjust, we have to adapt, but we have to be ready to adjust and ready to adapt so that we can overcome and win the battle, win the game of life.
Ross Romano: Yeah. Awesome. Well, it's been a real pleasure to have you here on the show. And I want to, before we wrap up.
Give you a moment to, you know, if there's anything else you would like our listeners to check out, you know, you have your books. If there's a, you know, a place where they could find those, obviously they could find them on [00:42:00] Amazon and those type of places. But yeah, anything else that you'd like for, for listeners to know about or look for?
Mike Jarvis: Well, you know what to be honest with you, I'd love if there's anybody that's listening, that's interested in the possibility of contacting me about a possible speaking opportunity or workshop dealing with leadership, dealing with coaching, dealing with mentoring, parenting, whatever it might be.
My email is real simple. It's coachmikejarvisatgmail.com. Coach Mike Jarvis at gmail. com. And I'm very reasonable. And I'm also, they tell me I'm pretty good. And I always, I always like to, I always leave them folks with something in black and white, whether it's one of my books or whether it's a, you know, like for example, a communication inventory or evaluation.
So I would say that, you know, I still consider myself [00:43:00] to be a coach and a teacher. And I would love to be able to continue to do that for those that would feel it would like me to. So I'm available. I want folks to know that. And, um, basically, you know, I'm going to try to make the best of these, these years that the good Lord has, has in store for me.
And I hope there's quite a few still up and that maybe we get an opportunity to do this again.
Ross Romano: Excellent. Well, yes, everybody, please I'll put, we'll put that information below. We'll put the links to where you can find the books. We'll put the email address. So it's right there for you. So if you'd like to connect with Coach Jarvis, if you'd like to have A speaker for an event anything of that nature, you know where to find it.
So we'll put all that below please. Also, if you have not already do subscribe to sideline sessions, we have much more good stuff to come. Lots of different sports we'll talk about lots of different angles. So. Little bit of something for everyone out there. [00:44:00] So please subscribe and check that out.
And if you want to learn about all of our shows, go to bepodcastnetwork. com or bepodcast. network. If you're involved in education, parenting, fatherhood, and, you know, any number of things there's a lot there for you to check out. So please do that. Coach Mike Jarvis. Thanks so much for being on the show.
Mike Jarvis: Okay. Well, thank you. Oh, you know what I meant to mention? One other thing. We are in the process of having our own podcast. Don't want to take away from yours, but it's coach Mike Jarvis time out with coach Mike Jarvis. And so anyhow, keep an eye out for that. Okay.
Ross Romano: Everybody check that out, search for that. And when it's out, we will grab the link as well. So check that out. And thanks again, everyone for being here.
Mike Jarvis: you. It's been a
Ross Romano: pleasure.