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Are you an introvert? If so, do you wonder if you are at a disadvantage as a speaker? There’s a common misperception that most speakers are extroverts. But, from my admittedly very unscientific survey, many speakers I know are introverts. We think...
Are you an introvert? If so, do you wonder if you are at a disadvantage as a speaker?
There’s a common misperception that most speakers are extroverts. But, from my admittedly very unscientific survey, many speakers I know are introverts.
We think that as introverts we won’t be as engaging or charismatic or energetic. Perhaps we’ve seen speakers we admire and we assume they’re extroverts.
I’m an introvert and I grew up quite shy, yet I found that public speaking was a great way for me to connect with other people.
In this episode, Diane Diaz and I talk about:
We’re wrapping up the podcast series we’ve been around executive speaking.
This is the 400th episode of the Speaking Your Brand podcast! Thank you so much for being a listener.
Links:
Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/400/
Discover your Speaker Archetype by taking our free quiz at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/quiz/
Enroll in our Thought Leader Academy: https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/academy/
Attend our 1-day Speaking for Impact in-person workshop in Orlando: https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/workshop/
Connect on LinkedIn:
Related Podcast Episodes:
It's time to escape the expert trap and become an in-demand speaker and thought leader through compelling and memorable business presentations, keynotes, workshops, and TEDx talks. If you want to level up your public speaking to get more and better, including paid, speaking engagements, you've come to the right place! Thousands of entrepreneurs and leaders have learned from Speaking Your Brand and now you can too through our episodes that will help you with storytelling, audience engagement, building confidence, handling nerves, pitching to speak, getting paid, and more. Hosted by Carol Cox, entrepreneur, speaker, and TV political analyst. This is your place to learn how to persuasively communicate your message to your audience.
Carol Cox:
Are you an introvert?
Well, so am I.
Hear how you can bring those strengths to
your speaking and leadership on this episode
of the Speaking Your Brand podcast.
More and more women are making an impact by
starting businesses, running for office, and
speaking up for what matters.
With my background as a TV political
analyst, entrepreneur, and speaker, I
interview and coach purpose driven women to
shape their brands, grow their companies,
and become recognized as influencers in
their field. This is speaking your brand,
your place to learn how to persuasively
communicate your message to your audience.
Hi there and welcome to the Speaking Your
Brand podcast. I'm your host, Carol Cox,
joined again today by our lead speaking
coach, Diane Diaz. Hi, Diane.
Hi, Carol.
Can you believe that this is episode 400 woo
of the Speaking Your Brand podcast, right?
I mean, I don't even like if you really sit
back and think about 400 individual pieces
of content. I don't think I've done anything
else 400 times.
Diane Diaz:
That's incredible.
That's astounding actually.
Carol Cox:
And you've been obviously a part of so many
of those episodes, and which has been
exciting. But I really just want to thank
all of you who have listened, whether you
have found this podcast relatively recently
or found it in the past year, and I even
know there are some of you who have been
listening since the very beginning.
So thank you so much for being part of the
speaking brand community, for listening, for
sharing episodes that you really like, for
emailing me when you listen to an episode
that resonates with you and for becoming
clients and working with us.
So this episode we are going to be talking
about why introverts make great speakers and
leaders. This is the final episode in the
series we've been doing all around executive
speaking. Whether you're an executive at a
company or you're an entrepreneur, this
series has been geared around helping you to
develop your executive presence, your
storytelling skills as a leader, and how to
effectively communicate change.
Whether you're communicating change to a
team, an organization, or to your audience.
So, Diane, do you consider yourself an
introvert?
Diane Diaz:
100%.
Carol Cox:
Okay, as am I.
And I find that so many of the women that we
talk to, they tend to think being an
introvert as a speaker is a disadvantage to
them. And so that's what I wanted to do this
episode with us to talk about our
experiences as being introverts, but as
speakers and really a lot of the strengths
that introverts have that they can bring to
the stage to their audiences.
And so I feel like there's a common
misperception that most speakers are
extroverts, perhaps because we see them on
stage. So we see see speakers that we may
classify as really charismatic or energetic
or engaging. And we think that as introverts
were not those things, but we are.
We may just portray them differently.
And from my very unscientific survey of all
the different women and speakers I've talked
to over the years, I have found that I would
say well over half of them are introverts.
Have you found the same?
Diane Diaz:
Absolutely. Clients say that to me all the
time. And I think and I think you're right,
I think it's because when you see someone on
stage, you just assume they're an extrovert.
I think also a lot of the well-known
speakers that we know that get, you know,
get paid a lot of money to do these very
public events also, then have social media
teams. And so they're putting out all this
content, which makes it seem like the person
is out there a lot more, which makes them
seem like an extrovert.
Carol Cox:
Yes, I agree with you that.
And this is kind of one of the differences
we'll talk about between being an introvert
and extrovert. And there is no right or
wrong. There is not one is better than the
other. It's just different.
So it's different how we show up as
speakers. Also what we need, how we need to
take care of ourselves, especially after a
speaking engagement or after attending a
conference, which may look different than
what extroverts do as well.
And so if you're new to speaking your brand,
welcome! We're so glad that you are here.
We work with women entrepreneurs,
professionals and leaders to develop their
thought leadership message, create their
signature talk, and put themselves out there
as sought after speakers.
Now, one of the things that has helped a lot
of the women that I've talked to is to take
our speaker archetype quiz, because it's
fun, it's free.
It's just ten multiple choice questions, and
then you'll find out which of the four
speaker archetypes you are that we've
identified. Now, this doesn't have anything
to do with introversion or extroversion,
because really you can be any of the four,
but it helps you to understand where your
natural communication strengths are and then
how to amplify them.
So you can take that free quiz as speaking
your Brand.com slash quiz.
Now, Diane, I know that at the beginning of
this year, we made a commitment to go to a
lot more events than we have been because of
the pandemic. Obviously, the first couple of
years, the pandemic, we didn't really do
much of anything. And then like 2022 was
slow. Getting back out there, 2023 was slow
getting back out there. And so the beginning
of this year, we're like, okay, we really
need to show up locally again, get back
involved in the community, which we have
been very involved before the pandemic.
And, you know, I really have enjoyed going
to all different types of events.
I have learned which types of events feel
better to me, and we'll talk about that
because I think this is important as an
introvert. But also showing up at events as
an introvert isn't always easy.
So we'll share some tips about that as well.
But before we do that, I know that Diane,
you grew up not only as an introvert, but
also relatively shy as a child, as did I.
And I feel like, again, for a lot of people
that they feel like, well, why would you
become a speaker then?
Like, doesn't that seem weird that you would
want attention on you?
You would want people looking at you?
And I think this is why people confuse
introversion and speaking.
Because for me, becoming a speaker and this
was all the way back with joining the debate
team in high school through what I the
speaking that I did in college and even
early in my career to today, is that what I
call my life hack was to become a speaker?
This way, when I was at an event, people
would come up and talk to me because I had
the little name badge on that, said speaker.
So a lot of people want to talk to the
speaker there before or after, so I didn't
have to be the one to break the ice, because
networking situations feel very awkward and
uncomfortable to me.
And so I didn't like to have to to go into
those situations.
I've gotten much better at it over the
years, although I still don't love it.
So, Diane, number one, can you relate?
And number two, why becoming a speaker fit
with you as an introvert?
Diane Diaz:
Yes. Now I can 100% relate with that.
Carol. Um, and I think, you know, I was
painfully shy when I was young, bit
painfully shy, literally scared of my own
shadow, and didn't not want to be noticed.
I wanted to just fly under the radar.
But I will say that I did start to come out
of my shell, probably in my early 20s.
When I was in college, I started working at
a grocery store as a cashier, and so it was
sort of a nice fix for my shyness, because
the policy of the store was that you had to
talk to every customer. So it wasn't that I
wanted to, it's just that I had to write.
So it kind of forced me.
And then when I mean running the cash
register, someone's coming through my line.
They usually initiate the conversation,
which is great. I don't have to initiate it.
Right. So it sort of forced me to start to
talk to people more and come a little bit
out of my shell. I'm still an introvert.
I can definitely relate to that.
But then as far as speaking goes, I think
that for me, speaking is a way of sharing a
message without, you know, there's a purpose
to it, right? So when you're asked to speak
somewhere, you're there for a reason.
So you're not just randomly talking to
people. You're there for a reason.
People want to hear from you.
They've literally asked you to come there
and share. And so I feel much more
comfortable in that environment.
I feel comfortable on stage speaking, more
comfortable there than I do, actually just
going to networking events.
So I'd much rather be the one on the stage
because again, there's a purpose now going
to events, I have gotten more comfortable.
Like you said, there's certain events I
like. I've gotten more comfortable doing
that. There are strategies for that, which
I'm sure we'll get to. But, um, I definitely
think that speaking is I think it's
especially good for introverts because it
does give you a purpose for what you're
saying. And so it doesn't feel as
uncomfortable as just randomly walking up to
someone and starting to talk to them.
Carol Cox:
Oh yes, I really like this idea of purpose.
It also makes me think of that we feel like
we have a role at that event, so we don't
feel like we're just floating there, kind of
like, okay, we're supposed to chat with
people, but we don't really know why or what
they're gonna or like, why do they want to
talk to us? What am I going to say to them?
Like small talk.
It feels awkward. So it's like, okay, we
have a role, we have a purpose for being
here, and we know, we know what our role is.
And I think maybe it's the undefined nature
of just networking events that makes us less
comfortable. Yes.
Diane Diaz:
And when I'm the speaker, even if I get there
ahead of time and I might be networking
beforehand, it's a nice in because I can
introduce myself and say, oh, I'm the
speaker today, so I don't it isn't about,
you know, necessarily what I do or having to
think of something clever to say to them, or
it's just the natural opener, so it feels so
much more comfortable.
Carol Cox:
Yes. All right.
Yeah. So for those of you listening again,
if as an introvert, just think about being a
speaker gives you that role.
And if you're if you're going to an event
and you're not a speaker, still go to events
again, we'll talk about some more
strategies. But maybe either volunteer for
that event so that you have a role as a
volunteer, as a as a guide, as someone who's
helping to set up or to greet people.
So I think also giving yourself a role
either explicitly through that organization
or even just in your mind and tell yourself,
oh, I'm the welcome committee.
And they may not know that, but if you tell
yourself that, that can also help.
Diane Diaz:
Absolutely.
Carol Cox:
Okay. So let's just briefly talk about what
introversion is and what extroversion is.
So we kind of understand what this is.
So not does not mean that you're shy if
you're an introvert. Now you could be an
introvert and shy at the same time, but it
doesn't necessarily mean the same thing.
Oh, this reminds me. So I was just at an
event recently and it was about a half day
event. So they had a variety of speakers,
and there was one guy who was speaking
towards the end, and he was very warm and
and great message.
A good speaker like had great stories.
That's what made him a great speaker,
because he had good stories.
And he said at one point he's like, you know
what? I'm an introvert.
I'm standing here in front of you all, but
I'm an introvert.
And that just means that when I'm done here
today, I'm going to go have some alone time
so I can recharge, he said.
It doesn't mean that I'm socially inept just
because I'm an introvert.
It just means that I need that alone time
either in beforehand and after hand.
And so that's really what introversion
means, is that we gain energy being by
ourselves. And so we need to make sure that
we're we're giving ourselves that space.
And sometimes we find a lot of social
interactions or a lot of social simulation
draining. If we don't have that balance with
that alone. Time versus extroverts tend to
gain energy from social interactions and a
lot of social stimulation, and they may find
being alone draining.
So that's the difference there between
introversion and extroversion.
So it doesn't necessarily mean that we're
socially inept, although sometimes I feel
that way. It depends on the event.
And so the other thing that I thought was
interesting about introverts, because I was
doing some research for this episode, is
that sometimes introverts do tend to get
more performance anxiety before speaking at
events and extroverts, perhaps, again
because of that social simulation.
So that's something to keep in mind.
And so and the other thing is that and I
think, Diane, we have found this for sure in
the the different presentations and talks
that we've delivered over the years, and
even with the the way that we run our
thought leader Academy and our in the client
work we do is that we really prefer deep
conversations. We really prefer going in
depth on topics versus kind of more
superficial. We like meaningful
conversations, and this is why we talk a lot
about making sure you have those stories in
your talks and that emotional message, and
that you're going deep in your thought
leadership message and not just doing the
superficial. And I don't know, Diane, have
you found the same just, you know, in the
work that we do with our clients as well
about this preference for deep, meaningful
content?
Diane Diaz:
Absolutely. Because I feel like that speaks
to that kind of that purpose.
Again, the purpose for the work that you do.
Right. And so if it if it is, you know,
working with hundreds of or thousands of
clients just on a very superficial level and
never really digging into it, I'm sure that
can be great. But for me, it's not as
fulfilling and doesn't tap into that need
for making a deeper connection with the
person kind of on a one on one basis.
So I love that the work that we do
incorporates both a group dynamic and then
a, you know, individual one on one dynamic,
because then we get the opportunity to dig
in deeper. And I always enjoy.
It's so interesting to me, and maybe partly
because I am an introvert, to learn about
what other people do and what you know, the
work they do. And I've worked with some
clients on their VIP days that had some jobs
that I would never, ever even remotely as
hard as I tried to ever be qualified to do.
And it took me, I actually would do homework
just to understand what they do because I, I
like to understand it and it's complicated
stuff. So I just find that fascinating.
And then it really makes me feel more
connected to them and like I'm better able
to help them, which fulfills me.
Right? So it does.
You know, I don't need to be the expert on
that, but I can learn about it and then help
them look like the expert on it.
Right? So I just love that deeper feeling.
And I think it is part of that introversion.
Carol Cox:
And that reminds also brings to mind that as
introverts, and I think this is what makes
us great speakers and great leaders, is that
we are very keen observers.
I think that's part of the nature of being
introverts. So we tend to be quieter.
In a sense. I think it's because we're
observing a lot of what's going on around us
and kind of processing it.
And so to your point, when we work with our
clients in that one on one VIP day, we get
we spend three hours, 3.5 hours with them,
just asking them questions, talking through
ideas, kind of getting their all their ideas
in a coherent message for them.
And we have to be really great listeners.
In order to do that. We have to observe.
We have to kind of step back and see the
bigger idea of all the things that they're
sharing with us and then by extension, as
speakers, when we're in front of an
audience, whether it's an audience of 20 or
30 people or even an audience of several
hundred people, I feel like as introverts,
we're good at observing the dynamics of the
audience, the energy of the audience, you
know, kind of what's going on, what do they
need to how do we need to adjust in the
moment in order to serve the audience that
we're in front of?
Diane Diaz:
Yes, I agree with that.
I wonder too, and I don't have any research
to back this up, but I would be curious to
know if most introverts are, um, have a lot
of empathic ability like pick up on because
I feel like I pick up on energy in the room.
I pick up on just energy when I'm talking to
a person. And so and I think that from an
introvert standpoint, I think that's part of
what can exhaust me as an introvert is the
fact that I'm picking up on things that
other people may never even pick up on, so
I'm picking up on so much more, and it's
feels like a job, right?
Sometimes it feels like a job because I have
to be aware, like my my spidey senses are
always going off about not necessarily bad
things, but just like everything, right?
So I'm, I'm picking up on interactions
between other people that I'm not even part
of the energy of the room, the energy of
the, the organizer, everything.
And so but I do think that that makes for a
really engaging speaker.
Carol Cox:
Yes. Oh, that is so true about just like we
almost can't help it, but like our brains
are process constantly processing what is
going on around us with the people that
we're interacting with directly.
But even this people all around, I remember
when I was in fifth grade, so this was, you
know, last year of elementary school and in
our fifth grade classroom, we would have
like four students to a big desk, right?
We each have like our little desk with a
little like drawer that we could put stuff
in, right? So we can picture it in my mind
and I and, you know, and I and I love school
like you did Diane. Right.
Like it was, you know, this place where I,
you know, we felt like we could be ourselves
and and have that sense of, you know, safety
and curiosity and all of that.
But I remember so again, I love to read.
I think introverts also like to read because
it gives us that alone time.
So during breaks between stuff, I would
often be reading a book.
No, no surprise.
And of course I had friends that I would
chat with them, but I probably really
preferred the book. But one time my teacher,
his name is Mr. Johnson, said to me, he's
like, Carol. He's like, I can tell you, you
know exactly what is going on with every
single kid in this classroom.
You know, all the social dynamics, you know
who is friends with who you know, you know,
you know everything. Because I can see how
observant you are.
And I never and I said, that has stuck with
me to this day. And I think you do the same
thing.
Diane Diaz:
Oh, for sure, I can.
I have such sensitive intuition about people
that, you know, any time in my life when
I've met a new person or someone's
introduced me to somebody, you know, if I've
picked up a weird vibe it all, I would say
99.9% of the time.
I am correct about whatever the vibe is that
I get about a person, and so it's great.
But again, it is also very exhausting
because it's just constantly, constantly
filtering, you know, data coming in.
So sometimes I'd like to turn that off.
Yeah. Yeah.
Carol Cox:
Really. And then, you know, again, think
about not only as speakers but as leaders.
If you're leading a team within your own
company or a team, if you work for a
company, you have a team that you're
responsible for or colleagues think about.
As an introvert, you may not be the loudest
person in the room or the rah rah person in
the room, but you probably really understand
those team members and what motivates them,
you know, or what what they need in order to
perform better and really, truly using those
listening skills and observation skills to
help them to do that.
So, Diane, you mentioned also earlier, which
I thought was really fascinating about when
we were talking about this.
We prefer deep, meaningful conversations and
content, whether it's presentations we're
delivering, the work that we're doing with
our clients. And then I think about social
media and how much we don't enjoy social
media. We use LinkedIn because it is very
much a professional network whose algorithms
do not prioritize extroversion.
Let's say it that way. Think about Instagram
Reels TikTok, right?
I think that's why those have never taken
for us. Why we don't like.
Sure. Could I force myself to create content
for it? Maybe for a week, but I probably
wouldn't keep up with it because it truly
doesn't feel authentic to me.
And I've always wondered over the years,
like, why can't I just do this?
Why can't I just be like, quote everyone
else and just get this content done?
But I can't, and I think maybe it's because
we're introverts.
Diane Diaz:
100% agree with that.
It feels very it's almost like for me trying
to speak a different language, I don't, I
don't, I don't know how to do it.
And I am almost resistant to wanting to
learn. I actually do want to learn another
language, but but learning how to do TikTok
or learning, you know, how to leverage
Instagram. I'm like, it feels really
inauthentic for me.
It feels it just feels like I would have to
be someone else. And I don't want to do
that. I don't want to not be myself.
Carol Cox:
Yeah. So for those of you listening, if you
are also an introvert and you feel like us
where you've tried social media and it just
doesn't feel right, you know, give yourself
permission that it may not be the right
channel for you.
And that is okay.
We don't have to do what everyone says we're
supposed to do or we think we're supposed to
do. But if you enjoy public speaking again,
because it's like, even if you're an
audience of 5 or 600 people, it still feels
more intimate and more of a direct
connection than an Instagram feed or a
TikTok feed. Does.
I mean, Diane, I've spoken to audiences of
over 500. I know you have as well, and we
can still do it. And it doesn't.
It still feel much more connective than
anything that we've put on social media.
Diane Diaz:
It feels so intimate because, you know, I,
I'm speaking to this huge group of mostly
people that I don't know, and yet somehow I
feel connected to them because, well, I
guess because they're all looking at me.
I'm up there and I'm speaking and they're
all looking at me, and I feel a
responsibility to share something with them
that's meaningful.
You know, they've given their time to me,
and now I want to give something back to
them. And it feels like an intimate exchange
in that way. And I like I like that I'd
always the other thing is that that speaking
engagement is that one moment in time,
whereas Instagram just keeps going and
TikTok just keeps going.
And you can never be up to date on anything
because it's just constantly changing.
Right? But that the speaking engagement that
you do is that one moment in time, that's
the only time that that happens.
And sure, they might have a replay video or
whatever, but everybody's there in that one
moment together. That's what feels so
intimate to me.
Carol Cox:
Oh yes, that's a great point.
This is also why I love podcasting and why I
decided to start a podcast all those years
ago, and why we both enjoy either
interviewing people on this podcast or being
guests on other podcasts.
Because number one, we're having a one on
one conversation live and, you know, with
with the other person.
But then also podcasting by its very nature
is an intimate medium because you're just
listening in your ears.
You're not distracted by a whole lot of
other visuals.
Diane Diaz:
Oh yes, I love podcasting for that reason.
I think, you know, I think for any, any
introverts who are listening, in addition to
speaking, starting a podcast could be a
really great way to get your message out
because it is very intimate and yet you, as
the introvert, have the control over what
the message is.
Speak directly to your audience directly in
their ears, and it is very engaging.
Carol Cox:
And that's one of the tips that we have for
you to develop your speaking skills as an
introvert is definitely guest on podcasts.
Consider hosting your own podcast.
I have thought about it, Diane.
Through all of the group programs and the
Thought Leader Academy we've run, we have
probably midwifed been godmothers to maybe
ten podcasts that clients have started, you
know, with our encouragement and like, we're
not podcast producers, so we don't do the
technical like, you know, they find the
people for that. But we have definitely
helped give them the inspiration and the
support to go put themselves out there as
podcast hosts. And I am so I'm so, oh, I
know.
Diane Diaz:
That's so nice to be connected to that idea.
I love it.
Carol Cox:
So the other thing that do develop your
speaking skills is to challenge yourself
with different types of speaking.
And this is not necessarily easy because
once we like master one type, we just want
to again, just be comfortable and and stay
there. If you really are comfortable with
very prepared speaking, challenge yourself
with more impromptu speaking.
I did an episode all about impromptu
speaking skills back in episode 390.
So do that also Also, if you tend to do long
presentations like you like the hour or so,
try experimenting with shorter presentations
vice versa. If you tend to like shorter, try
longer or workshops.
So get yourself a little bit out of the
comfort zone to start practicing with these
different types of speaking.
The other thing to do is LinkedIn lives.
Now that does incorporate video as well as
obviously audio, but it's a great way to
just get yourself over the hump of
especially video content and invite someone
to be on the LinkedIn live with you.
It's so much easier to have a conversation
or interview them than to just sit there and
stare at the camera by yourself.
Diane Diaz:
Yes, 100% agree with that.
You know, I think the thing too, that I like
about LinkedIn lives is that and this speaks
to how we kind of operate as introverts is.
And I've always been like this.
I would much rather be part of a socially
part of some small group get together,
versus I don't really enjoy large group
events or get togethers socially, because
they just do feel so overwhelming for me.
But I if somebody is like, oh, meet me and a
couple of my friends. Yeah, I love to do
that because it does feel more manageable
for me from an energy standpoint, and it's
more intimate. And I think LinkedIn lives
are like that as well.
It's like a little intimate presentation.
And it's not like the TikTok and Instagram
where it's you have to just do a ton of
content. No, you just create the one
LinkedIn live or you do them once a week,
once a month, whatever the frequency is.
And you still get the ability to put content
out there, but it's it's in a controlled way
that can, you know, fit with whatever your
style is. As an introvert, I like that.
Carol Cox:
Yeah, I so do I, and this is why when our
thought Leader Academy clients are getting
ready to graduate, we have them do a
LinkedIn live where we host it, and then
they deliver about ten minutes of the
signature talk that they worked on with us,
because we want the number one to have a
deadline to put to actually deliver part of
the signature talk, but then also to give
them the practice to be on something like a
LinkedIn live, if they haven't had much
experience with that either.
So we've done some of those this year.
You can scroll back in your podcast feed and
find those. And then we have some coming up
with our next batch of clients who are
getting ready to graduate.
So Diane, let's talk about some tips for
attending events. You mentioned that larger
events are not quite as appealing to you as
smaller, more intimate events.
I concur 100%.
This is why when we do in-person retreats
and workshops, we limit the number of women
to about 10 to 12 because we like having
that smaller group so that we all feel much
more comfortable and we're not, you know,
have like 50 people one time.
I mean, maybe we'll do an event with more
people. But as far as like hands on
coaching, workshops, that kind of thing.
I like the smaller numbers now.
We've attended a lot of events this year.
Everything from, you know, small, maybe 20
people all the way up to probably 200
people. I've been to gala dinners, you know,
with like, a whole ballroom full of people.
I've been to smaller events.
Diane, what about you?
What have you found as far as what you've
learned about yourself?
Diane Diaz:
Yes. So I've been to a variety of types of
events as well. And I think my favorite
types are more the lunch and learn styles
for some local group, maybe where it's maybe
it's 60 women, maybe maximum of 100, but
maybe like closer to 50 or 60.
And then I feel like it's easy to meet
people and talk to them.
What I find that happens in a much larger
group, say a conference or like a large
event with 600 people in attendance, is
people tend to get in their own little
cliques. And then for me personally, again,
I grew up very shy and didn't have much
growing up. And so I immediately my brain
immediately reverts to teenage Diane, who
was shy and felt like she didn't fit in.
And then all of a sudden, I feel like I
don't have anybody to talk to. And I'm like,
great, why? Why did I come to this?
Who am I going to talk to?
Nobody wants to talk to me immediately.
We're my nobody's thinking about me.
But this is what's processing in my head.
Right. And but people do sort of start to
group up in large groups like that.
And it is very hard to break through and
walk up to is so much easier to walk up to
one person at a table or two people at a
table, than to walk up to a group of six
women who are chatting together.
And it's really hard to kind of break in
there and tell them who you are and why you
want to. Why do you want to talk to them?
Right. So I much prefer lunch and learns,
um, you know, just any kind of luncheon like
that because they're usually limited in
size. So those types of things are or if a
local woman says, oh, I'm forming this
group. And right now we have like 20 women,
do you want to come to a meetup?
Hunt. Yes, I do want to come to that because
smaller group, I feel more comfortable.
I can I can meet more people at small group
than I can at a conference.
Carol Cox:
Yes, I completely agree with you.
It is hard to break in when like there's a
group of 4 or 5 six people all talking
together, and that does tend to happen more
at larger events.
And then and so the other thing is that, you
know, you think about the larger events, and
maybe this is also why larger events are
harder for us, is that I feel like the
agenda sometimes is a little bit fuzzier,
whereas I like to know concrete.
Okay. Like this, like the first half hour is
networking. And then we're going to have a
panel discussion or we're going to have the
speaker. I feel like we like that structure
better because then we know what's coming.
And so I will probably show up ten with ten
minutes left of the networking, half an
hour, and maybe not show up at the very
beginning of the networking half hour.
Diane Diaz:
Yeah, no that's true. I do like a structure
because and then I like I like the structure
because then I know, okay, here are some
places where I can maybe start talking to
some new people versus just being thrown
into a sea full of people in a conference.
And like, I don't know what to do with this.
It's very hard for me.
Carol Cox:
One thing that I, that I did at conferences
before the pandemic, when I would go to a
lot of conferences, is that I would actually
put together a lunch meet up with other
women who I knew were attending that
conference. So I attended some podcasting
conferences, and so I knew a lot of other
fellow women podcasters.
So I would reach out to them, bring together
like 8 or 10 of them.
So I would say, okay, such and such a date.
You know, lunch at the conference is from 12
to 1. Here's the restaurant, let's all meet.
And then I had someone to have lunch with
for sure. Like I was guaranteed because I
was the one who was scheduling it.
Diane Diaz:
I like that because it's also like taking the
conference and breaking it down into a more
manageable size for for you.
I like that.
Carol Cox:
Yes. And I loved doing those.
And yeah, I will definitely continue to do
that. So here are some things that you can
do as a as an introvert when attending,
especially conferences where maybe it's
multiple days and it is a large number of
people is connect with some people before
the event. So if you know anyone or if you
know somehow you can find on LinkedIn or
other social media, follow a hashtag, see
who else is going and say, hey, would you
like to have lunch together on such and such
a date or bring together a few people?
I think that would help a lot to kind of get
over that. That feeling of, you know, what
am I going to do next?
And then, Diane, you mentioned this is that
if there's someone who's by themselves, go
up and talk to them.
And I know you do that quite a bit.
Diane Diaz:
Yes. And I part of the reason I do that is
because I am an introvert, but also part of
the reason is because I'm sometimes that one
person standing there by herself.
And I wish somebody would do that for me.
And so I went to a, an event.
It was a local event, but it was kind of on
the large size because it was for a local
chamber, and they were recognizing some
prominent women in the community.
So I would say there had to be at least 500
women there. So it's on the bigger side.
And when I walked in, everybody was formed
up into their little cliques and this very
sort of shishi area.
And, you know, I knew that I was not going
to make my inroads there.
But I saw one young woman sitting on a
little, little sort of bench sofa thing, um,
just sitting there by herself.
And so I kind of looked around and was like,
obviously I'm not going to be able to talk
to these other people. So I just went right
up to her and I said, hi, you look like
you're here by yourself, and I am too.
Would you like to chat?
And then I just sat down on the sofa next to
her and she said, oh, thank God, yes, I
would. And then she even said to me, I think
she was more of an introvert as well, and
said to me, gosh, it's really hard to kind
of get in with these people.
Like they're in all these cliques.
I said, I know, and then, then we just
talked about that, and then we we had a
lovely conversation. We sat together at the
luncheon portion of it, had a lovely
conversation. I went to a couple more things
with her. So I've seen her a couple of
times. That is a great way to meet people.
Carol Cox:
Yes, I love that idea because not only are
you doing them a favor, you're.
But hopefully your karma is good and we'll
come back to you. Please.
Diane Diaz:
Oh, I hope so. I hope Taylor and Taylor
Swift's right about karma.
Carol Cox:
Yes. And for those of you who are extroverts
and as are still listening to this episode,
thank you so much. You are wonderful.
You're wonderful speakers and leaders as
well. But if you see us introverts by
ourselves, please come talk to us.
Diane Diaz:
Yes, please.
Carol Cox:
Oh all right. So the other thing to do is at
the conference, this is whether you're
speaking or not, but definitely if you're
speaking make sure that you schedule in that
recharge time, that alone time, whether it's
in the morning or at the afternoon break or
before the dinner festivities or whatever it
is. Try not to go back to back to back.
As tempting as it may seem, because you may
be fine doing that for a day, but you
probably will start feeling the consequences
of that by the second or third day.
Diane Diaz:
Oh, that is so true. You know, back in my
corporate days, it was, you know, when like,
it was just meeting after meeting after
meeting after event after meeting after
event, event event, you know, constantly all
the time, 24 over seven.
And as an introvert, it was not a good space
for me to be in because it does.
It wore me out and I'm not at my best and
I'm also my my patients would get very short
because I was craving some time to just
myself to just decompress from it all and
couldn't get it. And so then I'm irritable
and my energy's gone and I'm like, now I'm
useless to everybody, including myself.
So I think that that method of blocking off
time to recharge is a smart thing to do.
Carol Cox:
And also block off time the day after you get
back from a conference.
So say the conference is like a Monday,
Tuesday, Wednesday, and normally you would
have other zoom appointments or other work
on Thursday and Friday.
I recommend blocking those off or just doing
very minimal so that you have that time
coming back. Because weeks ahead of time, as
you're looking at your calendar, you're
like, oh, I'll be fine.
You know, I'll be back from the conference
and I'll, you know, put people in, but don't
because you will you will be glad that you
gave yourself that time.
All right. So then, for those of you who are
interested in working with us, we do have
our Thought Leader Academy, which is online.
It's an eight week program that combines
weekly group zoom calls, plus a one on one
virtual VIP day where we work with you to
create your signature talk.
Our enrollment dates are for the remaining
of 2024. Can you believe it?
We have one group that starts in August, and
we have the next group that starts in
October. And then that is it for 2024 until
next year. So if you want to get all the
details about that, you can do so at
speaking your brand Comm Slash Academy.
We're also doing an in-person one day
workshop in Orlando, Florida on October
10th, and that will give you the opportunity
to not only work with us on your talk, but
then also to practice on our stage.
And this is really where we see so many of
our introverted clients come to life,
because we again, being those keen observers
and being coaches and having done this for
so long, we can instantly pick up where they
are limiting themselves and where they need
to break through and what we need to do and
encourage them and help them with their
storytelling, especially so that they come
more alive as speakers.
Diane Diaz:
Yeah, I love that, you know, the in-person
workshop that we're going to do. And anytime
we've done an in-person workshop like this,
like in the past or this upcoming one,
they're so great because we do also keep the
size small, and they're great for introverts
and extroverts. But how many times have we
had clients at a retreat in person where
it's clear that they're an introvert and
they're struggling with movement on the
stage and like how to come across and
feeling uncomfortable, all things that we
completely understand because we've been
there and but they all come to life.
And I think because it is a room full of
accepting, welcoming, understanding women
who get where you're coming from and are
there to support you.
And so it doesn't feel like this huge
conference where you're just one of many,
right? You feel cared for, nurtured,
supported. So I if you get a chance to
attend this in-person workshop, I implore
you to do that because you're going to get
so much out of it and a lot of confidence is
going to come from that.
Carol Cox:
And here's what I hear from the clients who
attended our other in-person workshops and
retreats. Is that and again, many of them
are introverts and they, after attending and
after the practice time on our stage and our
coaching and our feedback, then they go and
they go to their speaking engagements, and
then they get feedback from the audience,
like charismatic.
And they have said to me, Carol, I have
never been called a charismatic speaker, and
that's the difference that it makes.
So you can get the details about this
in-person workshop as speaking your
brand.com slash workshop.
Again, that's speaking your brand.com slash
workshop. All right, Diane, well, thank you
so much for coming on the podcast to talk
about why introverts do make great speakers
and leaders. And we are proof, as are all
the amazing clients that we work with,
whether they're introverts or extroverts.
And so next week's episode, Diane
interviewed one of our thought leader
Academy graduates, Cindy Roe, because she is
on fire on the speaking circuit.
We see her linked in and she she is just
booking gig after gig.
And so Diane had a fantastic conversation
with her that you're going to hear next
week. On the specific strategies she uses to
get momentum on the speaking circuit.
Get ready to take notes.
And these are very practical, tangible
things that you can do that maybe take an
hour or two a week and they're definitely
doable. So, Diane, thank you for having that
conversation. I know our listeners are gonna
look forward to it. Don't forget to take our
speaker Archetype quiz so you can leverage
your natural communication strengths and
amplify them as speaking your Brand.com
slash quiz. Until next time, thanks for
listening.