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Welcome to the Raising Up Fathers Podcast. We are here to champion men to thrive in their four main roles: son, husband, father, and brother.
Through testimonies and best practices. Our goal is to help you look a little more like Jesus in the areas that matter the most. Our vision is to raise up ten thousand fathers in the name of Jesus. You can find out more at raisingupfathers.com
If what you heard today encouraged you, please share it with a friend.
Welcome to the Raising Up Fathers podcast. We are here to champion men to thrive in their four main roles as son, husband, father, and brother. Through testimonies and best practices, our goal is to help you look a little bit more like Jesus in the areas that matter the most. Our vision is to raise up 10,000 fathers in the name of Jesus. You can find out more at raisingupfathers.com.
Speaker 2:Today in this episode of the 10,000 fathers podcast, we are coming to you live from the February. We're gonna be talking about being husband, which is something that we don't claim to have mastered, but it's something that we are all deeply committed to growing in. One of the key verses of this sharing is he who calls you as faithful, he will surely do it because becoming a good husband isn't about perfection, but instead it's about God's faithfulness. In this episode, we're sharing honestly from our marriages, what it's like to walk through a marriage that's thriving and one that is not. We'll talk about the lives we believe as husbands, why God takes marriage so seriously, and why success in the world can never replace faithfulness at home.
Speaker 2:It's not teaching from perfection or from a pedestal or anything like that, but instead it's sharing from real life experiences, sharing from the trenches. And it's our hope that there is something here that challenges you, encourages you, inspires you, and helps you take ownership of the most important relationship you have here on Earth. Enjoy. Share it with a friend. One of my favorite verses is he recalls his faithful.
Speaker 2:He will surely do. And I love that verse because it's got nothing to do with me. And today, I'm talking about being a godly husband to fill remarkably by the bowl of ice and be gone. Someone I thought that actually goes to Thomas, talked earlier about how there's no sharers or how there's no speakers here. There's only sharers.
Speaker 2:And I actually do take that pretty seriously because us Us speakers, like, I am the authority on this. Whereas a sharer is just sharing what God's doing in the midst of you trying to do your best in this certain world. So today, I need to know that I'm not perfect, but I'm on this journey to become more like Jesus with what I believe is my my most important relationship to her, and that is to my wife. Tonight, I get to talk about being a godly husband. And I wanna balance this fine line of trying to challenge you and trying to call you up while being compassionate and letting everyone know that I know what it's like to have a marriage that's bribing, and I know what it's like to have the bears that's not bribing.
Speaker 2:And I love asking myself myself a tough question. First and foremost, does everyone have notes? This is something that I actually do want you to take notes on. So not because of what I think is important, but because of what I've been asking you afterwards. There's notepads back here in dents.
Speaker 2:So if you don't have pen, in, please grab one because it's important to me that you lie down with sticks out. So I love asking myself hard questions. And one question that I like to ask myself is what are the lies that I believe this does? Maybe it's I'm not a good husband. I'm not patient enough.
Speaker 2:I am not kind enough. I don't understand my wife. I will never be the man that she needs. He who calls you is faithful, He will surely do. If you're married in here, he has called you to be husband.
Speaker 2:Will he do it? Will he make you the husband that your wife needs? I think he will, but we have to let him. We have to let him. Marriage.
Speaker 2:We can't delegate this. This is your responsibility of your husband. No one is gonna do it for you. You don't stumble your way into a good marriage. Amen.
Speaker 2:A good marriage is built upon faithfulness, intentionality, getting back up day after day after day. It is hard work. As a girl. Whereas, where are the men who have a marriage worth emulating? Yeah.
Speaker 2:They're hard to find. Earlier in my youth, I used to think, well, they're not trying hard enough. They're not fill in the blank hard enough. Then I got married and said, oh, crap. You know what mean?
Speaker 2:Get it. I get it. There's not a ton of older men that I look at and say, man, when I'm want that marriage. Yeah. Because it's extremely difficult.
Speaker 2:One of my friends says that marriage is the same paper of the soul. Marriage is a tool that God uses to make you look more like him. Yes. I'm sorry. If you let him.
Speaker 2:Yes. The Lord is a gentleman. He will not kick in your door. Yeah. He patiently knocks and waits for you to answer.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done. It is a continual dying of soul. It's not a one time choice. It's a moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day response to what God is asking you to do.
Speaker 2:It's actually got nothing to do with my wife. It's got everything to do for me. Yeah. For a long time, I used to take look at my wife and say, well, she if she would only yeah. Text two, you the guy said, hey, man.
Speaker 2:We're not talking about her. It's talking about you. What have you been? Yeah. God really cheers about marriage.
Speaker 2:Amen. I see guys who have built these huge companies, built these large ministries, and then they did divorce. I had an opportunity to talk to some of these men. If every day you were traded in their worth of success for aptitude. In a month.
Speaker 2:First Peter three seven says this, husband, live with your wives in an understanding way. Showing honor to the woman as a wicked vessel for their affairs are to you. But here's the kicker. So that your prayers may not be hindered. Yes.
Speaker 2:Do you want your prayers to be hindered? Come on. Do you want your prayers to be hidden? I believe God's sitting up there. They say, hey, Ben.
Speaker 2:That's great that you wanna build a not for profit. That's great that you wanna start a national mentoring organization. I don't care about that. Because the lily of you sleeping next to you every night needs you to show up in ways that you will not show up because you're too eerie. Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes. This is what's so crazy. He allows you to have this worldly success. And Satan whispers in our ear and and you're too great. You got this in your bank account.
Speaker 2:You hit your goals. And all the while, the most important person in your life is sitting next to you. And she needs things that you're not giving her because you got fired. I'm like, everyone, you know I'm talking to myself. I'm also talking to you.
Speaker 2:If you are good with your wife, no matter what you're going through, you will walk out in this world with strength. It's true. You can be bankrupt. You can be jobless. And if you and your wife are good, you're walking outside of the world.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Come on. Yes. It's true. Amen.
Speaker 2:If you and your wife are not doing good,
Speaker 1:doesn't
Speaker 3:it doesn't matter your title. It doesn't matter your account.
Speaker 2:It's for walking out of weakness and insecurity. Sure. I want everyone to close your eyes. And I want you to remember when you fell in love with her. Remember Glen Erick?
Speaker 2:What was that moment? How did she look? What did she say? What was quality that you hey. She's different.
Speaker 2:I want you to turn to someone and I want you to talk and share with someone. Brad's line. Yeah. Matt. Matt.
Speaker 2:Canaan had his honeymoon here. Ity here. I wanna make an announcement to everybody. Listen, man. She's gotta she's put the she's gotta put the blinders on.
Speaker 2:She's working at a bit. I wanna hear this, though. Wanna hear this. When your wife is thriving, she's a burning light. She's beautiful and confident, secure, mutual, joking, lactic, flirty.
Speaker 2:You're into the newer blonde. Doesn't get the benefit. You were dying. I can think of nothing more satisfying than your wife's leaving out of your bed. Just reading here.
Speaker 2:Hearing you was the best of the time. Thank you. Yes. Thank you for helping me. Thanks.
Speaker 2:You turn over and say thank you. Some people here might not be married. If you aspire to that, if you want that, I have full confidence that it will happen. I don't get her until it's 30. Age 23 is something I have in the base.
Speaker 2:You know, it's the worst thing I ever have. Right after he is, and God, see you on the rest of your day. Said what? So be serious. But it's not because yes.
Speaker 2:It was not actually thinking about, but because God was doing a work in my life. Yes. Amen. God was preparing me for the kind that I needed to do in my life. So you're in a train.
Speaker 2:So say, aren't yourself committed up in marriages? Yeah. Out there. Date. Get married.
Speaker 2:The girl I married is long gone. So Razelle marries, married couple of months because she's mentioning three years in the woods. It's not just kidding, but seriously. Hey. I have a question.
Speaker 2:Seriously. How's your marriage going? Awesome. It's great. How's your wife looking at you today?
Speaker 2:What goes through her mind when your name pops up on her phone? I got my piece of meat. Sure. A big daddy. Is your daddy?
Speaker 2:Are you a muscle? Are you not? I don't care about what you've done. I don't care about how it's working out. I don't care about your I don't care about the light in the wires eyes.
Speaker 2:Oh. This part. You know I'm not. Come on, bro. For husbands, this means love your wives just as Crest loved the church.
Speaker 2:He gave up his life for her. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of the word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church of spottery and gold. Instead, she will be holy and without fall. In the same way husbands also love their wives as they love wearing bodies of every man who loves his wife.
Speaker 2:Actually, she has love for himself. Ephesians five. I have a daughter. I mean, he has a daughter. One day, some guys are gonna marry her.
Speaker 2:What? One day, some joker's gonna bury her. Yeah. We'll try. And I get to present my daughter to that guy.
Speaker 2:And you better believe I love her with the eyes. I'm gonna say you have no idea what she did yourself into. Better to present her asshole leak response. He's gonna crap his pants. You better see.
Speaker 2:Oh, he's for sure. He's gonna poop. He's gonna piss himself. How god how I view my daughter one day presenting her to this guy, that's how god sees your wife. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:He's looking at you. You're saying, hey, man. I entrusted her to you. How's that going? Off.
Speaker 2:I still remember the first time I saw High Blackman. She was such she's confident and quirky and just unique, artistic. I just I've I've done there's nothing more for her. I I I was playing these extravagant dates. You know?
Speaker 2:I was just to show her. I was just I was having reals. And then we got very life started happening. And then the first year of family reels, we adopted a kid who's 50. Over the next three years, would have drunk.
Speaker 2:They incarcerated. We had to deal with that. We lost two babies. Life hit. Life hit.
Speaker 2:Let's go back there. In 2017, you went across five years of your marriage. See, I grew up, didn't have dad around, had a bunch of roots. If you've got father wants I love to talk to, that that impacts me and how our father impacts me, how our how I'm I've oh, yeah. Know.
Speaker 2:Because I said Uh-huh. Made to watch. Thank you. That's your thing. Got Steve Bell.
Speaker 2:Alright. I've got more questions I'd like to ask myself. If my wife had to do it again, would she marry me? It's a good question. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Does your wife know that she is the absolute most important thing to your wife, bar none of that question says? Is she getting my rest? Those are my type of questions. Would she do it again? Does she know she's the most important?
Speaker 2:Did she get you a rest? I can confidently say that the answer to those questions was a resounding no. And as I look back here, the mistakes I made. I prioritize my work over my wife. Here's why.
Speaker 2:Number one, I received accolades and praise at work, but I did not get it home. I love it when people tell me I do a great job. My wife has a hard time telling if you did great job. That's okay. Number two, I was good at my job.
Speaker 2:I did not feel like I was at home, and I like being in
Speaker 3:the environments where I had to do it.
Speaker 2:Number three, workless fun. Changing diapers and doing dishes is not fun. Same thing, big mistake, I I was fear. I had a complete word for a long time. I I did not think I was scared of any hand.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And the Lord is kind and showed me I'm actually terrified of everything. Wow. And because of that fear, have controlling tendencies. Because if I can control it, I can make sure it didn't go wrong.
Speaker 2:I control my wife. I control my kids. I control my finances all with a strong grip. I worked more because I control that. If I worked, I would have success.
Speaker 2:If I had success, then I could provide if I could provide my my kids would have the job that I not have. I put a ton of pressure on myself to be a good husband. There's a lot of fear there, and I created an environment of performance and do more. I had no grace and compassion because I thought that my wife just needed to do better. So what are the consequences of my actions?
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that these are the only reasons. My wife has agency. She makes choices as well. But I consider today and say that I was definitely a contributing factor. Might be a lot of us in the year whose wives have issues.
Speaker 2:A lot of those issues might be if we heard God. You have to ask yourself, how am I contributing? It's a hard question to ask. My wife had depression. She has anxiety.
Speaker 2:She has consistent mental breakdowns for the next ages acres. It's a long time. To put it loudly, our marriage was not great. Here I sat, a believer whose full time was in ministry, average marriage at best. And the Lord, in his kindness, whooped me through a season to where he changed my heart.
Speaker 2:He allowed me to heal from some past wounds and help me take steps towards being the husband of that new debate. A ton of that meant prioritizing my wife over everything else. As I stand here today, I can confidently say that my wife will marry me again. She knows she's the most important thing in my life. She said my best.
Speaker 2:He who calls me in his space will, he will sit over there. I tried everything. I've read every rose by the name. Every podcast. Like to turn until I'd like it.
Speaker 2:Got 10 things that I've learned. Okay? My hope is that you grab onto a couple of these and then let me speak to you. Okay? So here's what I've learned through my marriage going through hell for eight years.
Speaker 2:Number one, it's all her fault. I'm just kidding. That's all. That's That's all your fault. Open your eyes.
Speaker 2:Number one, be like Jesus. Amen. Be like Jesus. Over the this last season, God has really shown me the characteristics of Jesus in three main ways. Number one, he was holy.
Speaker 2:Holy means different. Different means set apart. First Peter one fifteen says, be holy for I am holy. The world says a lot about husbands. They need to rule.
Speaker 2:They need to provide. They need to be in charge, but holy husbands are different. We do not judge ourselves based on other people who do not follow Jesus. We base ourself off of the characteristics of Jesus Christ. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I don't care what Tim Tom's doing across the street. As a husband, I care what Jesus Christ is doing. Am I becoming more like that? Amen.
Speaker 2:We are set apart. We do not wait around for our wives to get their stuff together before we serve them. Yeah. I'm born. We initiate.
Speaker 2:We go first. Yes. Yes. We go above. Yes.
Speaker 2:Start cleaning. We plan the dates. Yeah. We plan the vacations. Yeah.
Speaker 2:We give her a night off. We don't wait till she asks for it. Mom. We initiate insolvency even when she says no. We don't sulk for a week.
Speaker 2:Get back up. We forgive. We are different. I hear wives talk to my husband one day. Every so often, I get a wife who calls me.
Speaker 2:Hey. My husband just Oh, yeah. So sorry. I hope to guide it when my wife hears those things, she says, Nail, so thankful. Sorry.
Speaker 2:For sad. Something does that want time and have perfect peace? But that takes effort into generating my part. It is the hardest thing I've ever done. It's diet to self every hour, every day, every moment.
Speaker 2:It's being hurt, forgetting over and over and over and over again. It's not judging. It's not comparing. It's not Yes. Vegging out on games and movies.
Speaker 2:It's not looking at pornography. We're different. We are different. Number two, first is holy. Number two, humble.
Speaker 2:Mark ten forty five, the son of man came not to be served but to serve. And Jesus was a chief servant. It was not about him. In our marriage, it's not about you. It's not about you.
Speaker 2:It's not about you. It's not about you. It's her. It's about her. It's about your family.
Speaker 2:This is what's so crazy. It takes a remarkable amount of faith to put your wife or your family first. Why? Because you are saying, god, I am submitting my dreams, my desires, my goodness, whatever I need. I'm dying to that.
Speaker 2:Come on. I'm putting her first, I'm trusting you. You better show up because I'm screwed if you don't. I'm putting all my attention, all my effort towards work. You better take care of me.
Speaker 2:And God's like, it's about time. It's about time you stop frenting for your life. Humility is the most important quality to God. You serve at work. You serve in the bedroom.
Speaker 2:You serve by doing chores. You serve in the kitchen. You serve. You served. You served.
Speaker 2:You served. The king of all kings, the son of man, the prince of peace, the ruler came to serve the Yeah. Hey, honey. Why don't you give me it's not it's not us. It's not us.
Speaker 2:You got a hard day at work? I get it. Works hard. Should be. Go out there.
Speaker 2:You do your deals. You do what you've been called to do. You come home, and then the real job starts. Mhmm. Yes, man.
Speaker 2:Men of the second shift. It's like, it's fine. We are men of the second shift, and same shift is significantly more important than first shift. Remember? It was.
Speaker 2:It It was. It Number three. Humility. Hey. Here's a question.
Speaker 2:What does humility look like in your marriage today? What does it look like? Mhmm. That's good. Holy Hubble, number three, submitted.
Speaker 2:Luke twenty two forty two, not my will, but yours be done. This is so crazy. And I was reading this passage the other day. But now that you've been set free from sin and have become slaves of God a slave? I don't know if you're, in charge.
Speaker 2:You become a slave to God. You are a slave to God in your marriage. You have no rights. A slave has no rights. You have no rights.
Speaker 2:The fruit you give leads to sanctification and any damn. Its eternal life. Our call is to be like Jesus. Call is to be a slave to him and what he's called us to, and he has called you to serve your wife. He has called you to die.
Speaker 2:It's the opposite of being made and badgered off. Number two, we get to die. Mhmm. We get to die. Then Jesus told his disciples, for if anyone come after me alone, denying himself, take up his cross, for anyone who would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
Speaker 2:You are called to die. Does that sound terrible? Yes. It sounds awful. But death brings forth life.
Speaker 2:Amen. Death brings forth life. If you want life to oppose, die. Yes. It's not out there chasing your dreams.
Speaker 2:It's not out there making money. It's not out there with the titles. It's dead. Yeah. That's how you find life.
Speaker 2:Come on. And once you found it, it's Oh, good. Thousand percent better than anything you do that. Yeah. Come on.
Speaker 2:Dying's some weird things. Stick for forever. Yeah. Some of you guys need to die to the things that you want. Some of you guys need to die and work for them.
Speaker 2:Straight up. That's good. You guys need to learn how to grind your way. Yeah. Some of you guys need to diet, learn how to work less.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You need to learn how to make a 10. Let me go home. Say I'm not gonna work sixty hours. I'm gonna work forty hours.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I'm not gonna bake two fifty this year. I'm gonna make one fifty. But my kids are gonna see me. I wanna gonna go home and cook for my wife.
Speaker 2:Yes. Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to pay off a $100,000 so that your wife looks a little bit more like Jesus? Come on. Seriously.
Speaker 2:Hey. That's dad. Are you willing to give up that deal? We might support 500. More minutes.
Speaker 2:She knows she's the most important thing. There's just life. What I just said, what you need to die to, that's between you and the Holy Spirit. I I can't give you that answer. That's any stronger, might be too, but probably not to be a human holy spirit.
Speaker 2:What do you need his attitude? There's this notion out there that being a Christian's easy. It's awesome. It's great. Amen.
Speaker 2:It's like, I I I read my bible every so long. I didn't scan it. I don't see that. Every major person in the bible who gave their life of Christ died a terrible death. Does everyone know that?
Speaker 2:Mm-mm. You guys aware of what he's asking us to do? No, you're not. The world is the opposite. The world gives you praises.
Speaker 2:Jesus does that. He says, forsake it all. Become a slave. God's life is hard. You will have problems.
Speaker 2:Things will not go as planned. Dying is not easy. It is not popular. But can we find life and death when it's all crumbling? It will crumble.
Speaker 2:Listen to me. Your life will crumble in one area. And sometimes it's Satan, sometimes it's God. Because sometimes he's gonna shake you to see what falls and what stands firm. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes. It's going to happen. It is. How are you gonna respond? Yeah.
Speaker 2:Can you unconditionally love your wife when she's having a gary's attack? Can you serve her with joy, with a smile on your face when you've ever had sex with you once? Can you smile and laugh at her and choke around and take her a on date when she's overspent on the budget for the ninth straight month? I thought I was dying in marriage early. I wasn't dying.
Speaker 2:I was like Michael Myers. I, like, thought I was dead. Just come back, baby. Oh my god. I was kinda dead, but there's still some life in me.
Speaker 2:But, man, I wanted mine. I wanted to get mine. Yeah. And that's out of fear. I have to get mine.
Speaker 2:And God like, if you just die, I promise you that I'm gonna worse for you. Mhmm. Wow. Come on. Until I prioritized my life over my dreams and trusted God fully, I didn't experience life.
Speaker 2:It's not about you. It's not about what you want. It's about what God wants. It's about her and her dreams, for her flourishing. God, she's what's so crazy when she flourishes, you do too.
Speaker 2:Yes. Number three, trust God's timing. Isaiah twenty six three before you keep him in perfect peace whose mind is to your name because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever. This one's a little tricky.
Speaker 2:Is it my job to fix my wife? No. It's not my job. It's not my job. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Trust me if try. It's God's job, and he will do it at his time. When he's good and ready, we must endure. We must persevere with contentment until it happens. What can we do?
Speaker 2:We can pray. We can prepare the soil. Does everyone know what the word husband means? Means cultivate. Means gardener.
Speaker 2:What does a gardener do? Does a gardener make anything grow? No. You have no authority there. What can they do?
Speaker 2:They can control the environment. That's what a good gardener does. Controls the environment. Soils ripe, waters ripe, sometimes ripe, peace out the pests. My job is to create an environment for my my wife to flourish, and it's not my job to change her.
Speaker 2:What does that look like for everyone's dear? Because God was doing something in the heart of my wife that I couldn't see. I was trying to make him go faster by giving her this mid hue of things that she could get better at. But God in his kindness told me, hey, man. Quit focusing on you fixing your foot, focusing on making her better, focus on yourself.
Speaker 2:Wow. I got her. I love her more than you do. Does someone shout that God loves your wife more than you do? Yes.
Speaker 2:Yeah. He knows what he's doing. So what can I do as my wife was just having a really hard time? I could run ahead of your own compassion. I can learn how to be patient.
Speaker 2:I can learn how to shut on out. I can learn how do dishes. I can learn how to get a life coach to figure out how to be the person that my wife needed me to be. I had to grow up in some areas. I do believe that the work that I did helped prepare my heart my wife's heart for what the Lord had for her.
Speaker 2:But but she had some things to do too, 100%. But I did too. I was part of the problem, and things didn't get better until the next point, habit. Number four, surrender control. Isaiah forty one ten says, fear not for I am with you.
Speaker 2:I will strengthen you. I will help you. Control is rooted in fear. Control is rooted in fear, And I love controlling things. I was so terrified that my wife was gonna crumble, my marriage was gonna crumble.
Speaker 2:I kept it everything in my power to hold it together. I was so filled filled with fear. You guys know how you're hurting? Or club? It's out here.
Speaker 2:What this practically looks like, it looked like my wife. It looked like me letting her experience her emotions instead of trying to silence her. Yes. My wife is a screamer, and I would try to shut her up. Don't do that.
Speaker 2:But whenever I say, hey, sweetie, I love you. You you, sweetie. I love you. Sometimes. I have told this story, and I'll I'll tell you again.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry. Me and my wife, I got kicked in this, like, three year season where, like, I got to do my work, and I got to get paid nicely and kinda do whatever I wanna do. It was great. So you can learn. I thought I moved to Wake Hill for a job.
Speaker 2:I really moved me to Wake Hill to work on my marriage. We were in a fight. It was, 11:57 in the afternoon. We were in a fight inside the car. I had pulled up to drop her off, I hop on a phone call at noon that I need him to do for work.
Speaker 2:She's, like, losing it on me. I'm like, hey. I gotta go. I have ADD. Let's talk about this later.
Speaker 2:She's losing it, slams the door, walks in the house. I could hear her screaming inside the house. I can hear her screaming from inside the house. And I'm like, hey, Joe. You wanna give me a donation to my Christian ministry?
Speaker 2:God help I feel like the Lord said amen was important. I did not go in there with a smile on my face. You know? There's that person I love. It's like some guy that or Jesus or the master asks someone to do something.
Speaker 2:He's like, yeah. Sure. I'll I'll do it. Doesn't do it. Master asks someone to do it.
Speaker 2:He says, I don't wanna do that. I'm not gonna do that. Then he leaps and he goes and does it? Yes. I wasn't happy about it, but I still did it.
Speaker 2:I walked in, my wife's laying down on the kitchen floor screaming. And she screams out, I wish I had something to throw. And I go in the garage, and I pick up a mason jar. And I walk back in the kitchen, and as he hears me, she picks up a mason jar. She slams it down on the ground as far as she can.
Speaker 2:The bastard goes everywhere. Then she crumbles. I get down on the floor with her. I give her a hug. I say hello.
Speaker 2:I think that's what keeps you. Yeah. Control is not a good thing. This one's a crazy some people call it something else. No.
Speaker 2:I'm a good steward. Wow. Some people call it leadership. Yeah. Oh, I'm just being a good steward.
Speaker 2:You know that story about being a good steward. Right? I think that's the story about you being in control and not letting go. I surrender all all to you, my precious savior. I surrender all.
Speaker 2:Number five, apologize fast. First John one nine, if we confess our sins, he has if if if if if I legitimately believe God's up there, you're a god. He'll be from this. And God's like, I'm waiting on you, bro. You gotta go up different questions.
Speaker 2:If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. When was the last time that you apologized to your wife? I challenge you, you better apologize once a week. I don't think I'm doing anything. Yes.
Speaker 2:You have. Yes. You have. Have you made a sarcastic comment? Have you talked bad about someone?
Speaker 2:Have you intentionally not done something that you know you should do? I've made those dishes. I don't wanna do those. I'm gonna wait. She'll do.
Speaker 2:Confess that to your wife. Sweetie, I'm sorry. And watch what happens. You model these things. You model apologizing.
Speaker 2:Your kids, my kid's nine years old. A couple couple weeks ago, he jumps up and say, hey, dad. I just want you to know I'm sorry for this. What'd you be buying that? Hell, yeah.
Speaker 2:I I apologize all the time because I because I have a hard time. Alright? I apologize for being sarcastic. I apologize for being short. Hey, honey.
Speaker 2:How's it going? Fine. Everything's fine. Don't let that slip by. Search your heart.
Speaker 2:Sarah, I'm so sorry. That was rude. That was rude. I'm sorry. I'm having a hard time.
Speaker 2:I'm taking it out in the ear. I'll let you know. Takes forty five seconds. I will. Do it once a week, once a day.
Speaker 2:Confess you will be healed. Confess and you will be healed. Confess and you will be healed. Number six, keep no score. Ephesians four thirty two, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgave you.
Speaker 2:Part of dying to self is keeping a score. I love Keaton's score. I'm great at it. Fantastic score. You've done the dishes 10 times.
Speaker 2:Do it eleven. You get your white coffee in the morning. Morning. And then you're having quiet times together. You have an empty cup and Jay's a empty cup and she goes and gets herself a cup of coffee.
Speaker 2:Doesn't get you wine. I just got you wine. And can you have asked me? Keep no score. Keep your mouth shut.
Speaker 2:You may be clean and on top of your schedule, and that doesn't mean that she has to. This is what's so crazy. The thing that you loved about her, like, love my wife's spontaneity. I love her creativity. That's that's one of the reasons why I fell in love with her, and that's what drives me crazy in our marriage.
Speaker 2:It's like, the thing I'm like, man, I just wish you could be more scheduled like me on South Carolina. The best. Believe the best. Believe the best. I don't believe your life's trying to hurt you.
Speaker 2:Yes. You know? Yes. Believe that you're on the same team. Here's something that really helped as well is getting rid of the things that we're holding over each other's heads.
Speaker 2:Like, I have a couple of things that I can just have to kinda hold over her head. If we're in an argument, I can always, like, slap that in, and it's just, like, you know, do you wanna ever play, like, Mike Tyson's one shot as a kid? You got, like, the, like, super move? Yes. Oh, yeah?
Speaker 2:Well, do want the super move? So one thing I'm gonna be the super normal here. My wife has given me permission to sell this. One thing that I held over her head for a long time was the relationships that she had before we met. And, you know, she did some things that she wasn't proud of.
Speaker 2:I did as well. And I didn't ever wanna know. I don't wanna know. I wanna know. I don't wanna No.
Speaker 2:No. It's fine. I don't wanna know. And, you know, one day she was like, hey, like, we have had problems being intimate. You know?
Speaker 2:We have sex in this very transsexual. And we it was just like getting to the point where like, man, this is it. And she, you know, in her way, she's like, maybe we just like need to like talk about our past. I don't wanna do it. I don't wanna do it.
Speaker 2:No. I don't I don't wanna hear about that. And she said something like, how can you truly love all of me if you don't know all of me? Well I was like, well, that's good. That's a good boy.
Speaker 2:One day, we were discussing some of these issues. It was actually Riley. Riley and I hang out. Riley and Jacob. And Riley this is the this is a sidebar.
Speaker 2:I mentor to cycle all these guys. We need every Friday morning. And I've learned more from them just as much from them as they've learned from me, I hope. Dry Lee's a great guy. And he's like, hey, man.
Speaker 2:You know, he was talking about how he and his wife share everything. Oh my god. That is a policy. Like, I I don't know if I can do that. And he encouraged me without knowing it to know my wife.
Speaker 2:Know all of it. And one night she opened up to me and she asked if I wanted to know. And I said, yes. I wanted to know. And she I I we're in bed.
Speaker 2:She was talking. I I just sat there. And she told me everything. She's weeping. She's crying.
Speaker 2:Crying. All this guilt, all this shame, all this for we've married for thirteen years. All of this that she's been holding on to is just exploding on to me. And God knew that that was the right time because I was able to handle it. And so right.
Speaker 2:Thank you. We processed it together. I forgave her. I hugged her. And she, since then, has told me multiple times that I feel like you truly know all of me.
Speaker 2:I feel like you truly want all of me. Our ATTC has gotten significantly better. For the first time in our marriage, I feel like we are the one. They're really good. And it happened because I stopped keeping school.
Speaker 2:Happened because I stopped holding things over her head. I got to know all of you. When I stopped judging my wife and her actions and started accepting her just the way that she was, my wife got a lot better. When I stopped keeping score, my joy increased. When I forgave her for being her and she accepted her as she was, the light keep back on and rise, which is the greatest gift I've ever received.
Speaker 2:Yes. Come on. Prioritizing connection and letting God fix versus prioritizing best practices and fixing was a game changer for us. Here's something that Don says. I got so much more mileage out of pursuing her heart rather than pursuing her to make the right decisions.
Speaker 2:Number eight, have fun. Nehemiah eight ten, do not grieve for the joy of the Lord's your strength. Somewhere along the way, I forgot that my wife was really fun. I forgot how to have fun. I was so overwhelmed with work and with marriage that I it just didn't cause fun to have fun, to laugh.
Speaker 2:Every time we talked and seemed to get serious, we didn't laugh. Where was the joy? But then a friend encouraged me to take down my TV and spend a few $100 on board games. I'll bore games. So fun.
Speaker 2:I will wreck you in Taco Cabo cheese pizza, I swear. Oh my gosh. I have learned how to have fun. Someone did a study. I think George was talking about this.
Speaker 2:Someone did a study on someone hung out. He was a college pastor. I have to be butchering this. He was a college pastor, and he had hung out with college students for decades. And he said, Zach, do you know what the most healthy college kids have in common?
Speaker 2:I said, Bible studies? No. Having dinner together? No. Okay.
Speaker 2:What is it? Their families have fun. Wow. Come on. I was like, but I've got this eighteen week devotional.
Speaker 2:Me and my my kids are fasting for six weeks, isn't that? My son's grounded right now because he want food. He want to memorize all of them on that TV. Yeah. Yes.
Speaker 2:I remember when it's, like, five person. Hey. When we replaced the late night, hey, sweetie, why don't you do this? Why don't you just read this book? Why don't you just listen this podcast?
Speaker 2:Why don't you become a little bit more like me, please? With funny cat videos. We found ourselves enjoying to get around each other. I forget why I married my wife. I forget how fun she was.
Speaker 2:I I was allowing the worries of this world to choke out the life of our marriage. But I learned how to replace, hey, sweetie. Here's how we can get better with here's how we can have fun. I like that better. When we started prioritizing family vacations and mom weekend getaways, I can't afford it.
Speaker 2:We don't have enough money. Hey. This isn't this isn't a luxury. Yeah. It's an investment.
Speaker 2:Come on. When when I started monetarily investing into my marriage, my wife would love seeing you these everything that my wife loves is expensive. I can differ 10 things and not tell how much want to meet them cost and show people what's the thing here. It's a game. Oh, jeez.
Speaker 2:Whenever I started being like, I'm gonna spend $2.50 on a room instead of $1.01 90. I'm gonna spend $80 on dinner instead of 40. The IQ back then. Wow. It's a people are like, hey.
Speaker 2:It it's a stewardship question. And I get that. I'm I'm not telling you to be financially otherwise. Maybe I am. Maybe I am telling you to be a little bit financially unwise.
Speaker 2:Because you're looking God in the eyes to take the board. I don't understand how you're gonna provide for me, but I am going to prioritize my wife feeling like the most important person in the world. Because in her mind, for some crazy reason, when I spend $75 on dinner instead of 40, she feels valuable. I don't know how you're gonna provide me, Florid, but I did it. Believe that you will provide.
Speaker 2:Come on. Like, babe. What the hell? Babe, stupid house that is gorgeous and worth millions of dollars. He didn't tell you that.
Speaker 2:Do you think God's up there with his calculator? The interest rate on that bitch, man. It's not gonna fly. Or do you think God's up there? He's like, hey, man.
Speaker 2:Ice tea. This is a fake move. Come on. Without faith, it's impossible. Please God.
Speaker 2:Without faith, it's impossible. Please God. Yes. Without faith, it's impossible. Please God.
Speaker 2:But what about the parable of the steward? What about stewarding your wife's heart? Wow. What about that, Harold? Come on, Zach.
Speaker 2:That's good. Yeah. Ben went into debt. Why? He doesn't care about what people say about his house.
Speaker 2:He cares about making his wife a thriving vine. Yes. And having her dreams come true. And has God provided? Has God provided?
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's it. Hey. Put him to the test. Put him to the test financially.
Speaker 2:I can't afford to date night. Try it. Try it. See what happens. Have that conversation with God.
Speaker 2:Hey, God. I don't understand this. I'm terrified that we're gonna go broke, but I'm gonna take my wife on the table. You better show up. And I I in in my eyes, I feel like it's like they they do it.
Speaker 2:It's faith. It's a fake move. Amen. How did I get talking about that? It's a lot of It's a of I started this thing.
Speaker 2:Me and Jordan and Dylan and some Desert in a group, and we talked about what are our top priorities every quarter. And my top priority for this last year should be operation Zach show the f l. What are doing? Pretty dumb. You're founded on this idea that God's got me, that he is for me, that I'll have to fix everything, and that I all win faith, not fear he's gonna take care of me.
Speaker 2:Come on in. Hey. Who here's a father? Will you do anything for your kid? Yes.
Speaker 2:What does God call himself? God. Will he not do anything for you? You'd have a what? Come on.
Speaker 2:Now surround yourself with wise counsel. Don't put this on his speech. Yeah. Yeah. Number nine.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is a big one. Be weak. Be weak. Corinthians twelve nine and ten says, my grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness. When I'm weak, I am strong.
Speaker 2:This whole time I was supposed to be strong. I've been crying since I was 87. I don't like being weak. I obviously, I was was you receiving? My whole marriage, held it together for my wife.
Speaker 2:But if I'd be honest with you, I did this for the following reasons. I didn't wanna burden her. I didn't think she could handle it. Mhmm. And I didn't want her to see me weak.
Speaker 2:She, like, kept on saying this, and it did not make sense to me. But she was like, hey, Zach. You you don't you're not weak, and that makes me feel like you're perfect. And I can't relate to someone who's perfect. You never show me that you're straight away.
Speaker 2:You don't share what's going on. Why don't you do that? I cry all the time. Why don't you cry? It seems like I can't support you when you show no weakness.
Speaker 2:And in my eyes, yeah. Yeah. You can't support me. We've got enough going on. And it was this weird thing.
Speaker 2:One of the scariest things in the world was allowing my wife to see me weak. My MO is just moving forward. I can move forward. My friend Riley helped me do this thing with my wife called MBM, which is moment by moment, where we tell each other moment by moment what happened during the day. It's pretty good.
Speaker 2:It takes a long time. It's pretty good. But worse. Me and my wife tried this. It opens the door for connection.
Speaker 2:It opens the door for conversation. I had to learn how to do this. It did not come naturally. On Wednesday, like, three days ago, I I'm learning how to open up, and my wife loves it. She, like, wants it whenever I'm weak.
Speaker 2:She's like, I am big. And it's like this weird thing where, like, I try to man up to, like, support her. Like, she's having a hard time. Alright. I've gotta be more da da da da da.
Speaker 2:Never crossed my mind that the opposite is true. Whenever I'm struggling, it's a call up to her. And she can pull me. She's like, Zach, have learned that I have to deal with my stuff because you need me now. I'm shuffling, Zach.
Speaker 2:That's interesting. I didn't take that. That doesn't confuse you. And my wife sent me this, like, voice memo. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna play this for y'all. This is I'm going way out. I got this on here, but I don't care. Guys, my marriage was a it was a train wreck. And I want her to I just want See it.
Speaker 2:I am texting you voice memoing you about to encourage you. I was just running in here for my few key gifts. It was just feeling really heavy, and Cole and Kadass here call it just the reality of the world. I'm not wearing shit, but anyway, I was feeling Kevin is for you specifically. Your call.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I was feeling cat cats for you. Call me. See, though, or be a drunky nabo. There there She goes on to really encourage me.
Speaker 2:It was a huge blessing. It was one of the most best voice memos that I've gotten. That never would have happened if I wouldn't have told her that I was struggling. Never. Wow.
Speaker 2:And that strengthened me. Being weak so I can be strong. I'm weak. My wife becomes strong for me, and she gives me her strength. It's good.
Speaker 2:It's good. That does not make sense. The only thing I've heard about being a husband is you have to be strong. You have to be strong. You have to be strong.
Speaker 2:You have to strong. You have to lead. You have to lead. You have to lead. Don't let her what if the opposite is true?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Let your wife see that you need help, that you're not Superman, that you need her support. Vulnerability is your friend. It's good for your wife to see that you're human. Yes.
Speaker 2:Which brings me to the next point, connection matters. Genesis two twenty four says, therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, they shall become one flesh. K? Part of my problem is that I didn't prioritize connecting with my wife. I prioritized her doing the right thing.
Speaker 2:I prioritized me doing the right thing. We weren't connected. We weren't intimate. We weren't one. I did my life.
Speaker 2:She did her life. And in between, we raised some kids. But the connection piece creating a safe environment for us to be with each other, help to rebuild the trust that I had lost in my marriage. It's a really big deal. It's a really big deal to connect with your wife.
Speaker 2:We go on walks almost every night now. We just like old people, we hold hands and we talk. We lay in bed and we talk. We do m by m. M by m.
Speaker 2:M b m. We talked about our moments. It's hard. It's vulnerable. I have to tell everyone I'm being weak, and we've never been better.
Speaker 2:It was a huge part of it. We've never been better. Connect with your wife. Connect. Whatever you have to do, if you have to go play the goal, don't leave the goal.
Speaker 2:If you have to on a walk with a lot of people, go on a date, go on a date. But do whatever you have to do to connect with your wife. Look her in the eyes. Connect. Pray with her.
Speaker 2:Hold hands. Read the bible to her. Tell her your struggles. Have her pray for you. My wife I haven't prayed for my wife in two and a half weeks.
Speaker 2:You know why? Because we're in a city right now where I'm really weak and she's really strong. Every morning she prays for me. Mhmm. But I fast.
Speaker 2:Well, she kinda tells me. But that's okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay.
Speaker 2:It's okay if you can't pray over your wife because you're having a hard time. It's good. It's not okay to not let her pray over you. You're becoming one. One.
Speaker 2:There is no he, she, and one. There's one. Yeah. Sometimes you're strong. Sometimes she's strong.
Speaker 2:The last one is maturity matters. When I was a child, I spoke like a child. When I beat my man, I gave up my child's voice. First Corinthians thirteen eleven. First Corinthians sixteen thirteen says, be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men.
Speaker 2:It says, be strong. I understand I just told you to be weak, but in weakness, we're strong. K. Here's a couple of things that are really hard for me. Number one, slowing down and not breathe.
Speaker 2:Number two, listening and taking time to reflect. Number three, submitting and obeying. Number four, enduring hard things. God wanted me to mature. He wanted me to grow up.
Speaker 2:He wanted me to face these issues, Hal. I don't like going slow. Going slow is for losers. That's my perspective. Amen.
Speaker 2:If I could go fast, I can get work done. If I can get work done, I will be successful. If I'm successful, people will see how awesome I am. If I can see how awesome I am, I will get rewards. I want to produce.
Speaker 2:I want to produce. I want to do things. I'm a man of action. Anyone ever worked on a car before? No.
Speaker 2:Anyone ever worked on a movie car before? It's pretty hard. It's to It's hard to work on a movie man. Wow. Dude.
Speaker 2:That was good. God wants me to slow down. I was a Steve Harvey. He me to release control, trust the timing. He had to get me to slow down so that he could show me who was really in charge.
Speaker 2:He wanted to pick up my load and give you rest. This is one of my favorite verses. This is spoken to me big time. Isaiah thirty fifteen. For thus said the Lord God, the holy one of Israel, in returning and rest.
Speaker 2:Some say in repentance and rest. Anyone like to repent? Anyone like to rest? In repentance and rest, you shall be saved. Come on.
Speaker 2:In quietness and trust, that'll be your In quietness and trust, that will be your strength. Does this say anything about the reason? God wanted me to slow down. I don't like reflecting. I don't like listening to God when it takes too long to talk.
Speaker 2:I'm in a hurry, and I can find everything I need in a book or a podcast or something for me to consume. But God needed me to learn how to listen to his still smallness. He needed me to slow down. He needed me to teach me how to sit in stillness and quiet and trust. First Kings nineteen eleven.
Speaker 2:The lord passed by, and a great strong wind tore the mountains, but the lord was not in the wind. After the wind was a great earthquake, but the Lord was not in an earthquake. And after the earthquake, a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. Where was he? And after the fire, the sound of a low whisper.
Speaker 2:And that's what Elijah heard. I have to reflect. I have to create space to reflect. I have to surround myself with friends, brothers. Guys, Ben said it last night.
Speaker 2:It's a matter of life or death. If you don't have brothers, you will die. Straight up. Search me, o God, and know my heart and show me any grievous ways against you. Psalm one thirty nine.
Speaker 2:I can't do that when I'm glued to my phone trying to muscle my way through being a better Christian by consuming Greg Groth Show podcast. I need to learn how to drink here with the stone quiet. I don't like submitting because I wanna be the master of my own ship. I will not have a person do a capitalist to use three things. Number one, submitting to friends.
Speaker 2:I've got my attitudes. I've got integrate. I'm gonna be happy out with people. Number two, submitting to older men. If you are younger here and you don't have an older mentor that you're meeting with regularly, I think you're a fool.
Speaker 2:Straight up. Go find an older man that you respect. Good. Ask him to go ask coffee once a month. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Go to his office. Don't cut his yard. Yeah. Don't mow his yard. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Hey, dude. I'll mow your yard if we could have a jury afterwards. And this is what's so crazy. Will you give good advice? Yes.
Speaker 2:I do think that he won't. Will you learn from their good? Yes. Will you learn from their bad? Yes.
Speaker 2:But even if you don't learn from anything, God sees your hard posture of submission, and he honors that. Yeah. Who are you submitted to? Yes. Who are you submitted to?
Speaker 2:If you're the master of your own share, it's not gonna go well. Number three, submit to God. Do what he says. Alright. Bring him back.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm not a man. You can't do it alone. Like, straight up. Like, been in this conference a couple years ago in discussion. For other food is the most important aspect of your faith.
Speaker 2:And I attribute it this guy's crazy. No. It's not. And he kept talking about, sir. Crap.
Speaker 2:He is. He's right. If you wanna follow Jesus all your heart, if you wanna see his son and the most high king, get yourself some brothers. If you wanna be a good husband, get yourself some brothers. If you wanna be a good father, get yourself some brothers.
Speaker 2:You only have as much authority as you are under. You only have as much authority as you are under. If you're under no authority, guess what you have. No authority. I've gotten to know some people who are, you know, big time famous Christians.
Speaker 2:The ones who have fallen, I look behind them, and there's no one but people who are seeing their braces. Yes. Mhmm. Yes. I see the guys who were making wake, who were doing deals in the kingdom.
Speaker 2:And I look behind them, and there's some 74 year old man who works for State Farm who has caddies on that have fleets. He's got a woven belt. And you don't know his name. You don't know his name. And when this guy gets off the stage, this older man has put his arm around and he's saying, hey, man.
Speaker 2:I don't care about you. Did you go to your kid's soccer game? Or she won you at 10AM? Have you looked at pornography? No.
Speaker 2:Do you think that your stuff don't stink? Get yourself one of those guys. Well Good. No one knows. It's good.
Speaker 2:That's where a true power's at. Can you stay in the game? Hard things will happen. Hard times come. Can you stay in the game?
Speaker 2:Can you not win? If you don't quit, you win. If don't quit, you seen the movie, Cinderella, man? Yeah. I love that movie.
Speaker 2:Really? Guy just gets beat up, soft. You don't quit your beat up. But why does he win? Yep.
Speaker 2:Stay quit. Mister Howard, baby. So There's one thing I'm learning as I get older, life is hard. Marriages will get harder. You will be disappointed.
Speaker 2:Your kids will challenge you. You may get sick. You may go broke. You may get fired. You may get ALS.
Speaker 2:You may be rich. You may be wildly successful. You may figure out that all that stuff that you thought was awesome isn't quite as awesome as you've done. Depression may hit. Anxiety can come.
Speaker 2:Cancer could show up. You cannot control that. You can't control how you show up. You can't control how you respond. So how do you respond, man of God, when life doesn't go your way?
Speaker 2:How do you respond whenever you look in your wife's eyes and you know that you haven't been, like, just a couple of years. Do you leave? Do you quit? Do you complain? Do you push off and say, hey.
Speaker 2:It's her fault, or do you rise up? Do you man up? You give yourself some brother to confess sin. Mhmm. Hey.
Speaker 2:You want breakthrough? If you want breakthrough? If you have unconfessed sin? Yes. Hey.
Speaker 2:The best way to get breakthrough is to confess your sin. Come on. Amen. We talked about remembering our days. You don't know how much time you have left.
Speaker 2:So here's what I want. Everyone close your eyes. Dear lord, here's what we want. I want our wives to be wildly, madly in love with you. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yes. Yes. Amen. Yes. I want our wives to look at us and say, this man helps make me look more like Jesus.
Speaker 2:Yes. I want my wife to experience Jesus when she's with me. Yes. Lord, we want to die Yes. So that we can truly live.
Speaker 2:We don't wanna find life in titles, money, comparison. We wanna find it in laying down on life and dying for a ride. Yes. Lord, we want fear gone and faith to rise up. We wanna be fully surrendered because we trust with our whole heart.
Speaker 2:Yes. We want pride gone. We wanna apologize often for it to flow easily. We wanna toss the scoreboard in the trash can. Yes.
Speaker 2:God, we want us and our wives to be one, so connected, having so much fun. Yes. There's no one else in this world that I'd rather be with. Yeah. God, we wanna be weak.
Speaker 2:For when we're weak, we're strong. When we let go, we let you lead. Yes. I don't wanna be a rock, but I wanna be dependent upon the rock. Yes.
Speaker 2:I wanna be a mature man who responds in righteousness to whatever the subjective world throws me. Yes. For every man, I want their wives to scream yes to these questions if I had to do it over again when I marry him. Do I know that I'm the most important thing in his life? Am I getting his best?
Speaker 2:And I've got that's a life well lived. That's worthy of applause. Come on. Number your days. Make them count.
Speaker 2:Get up tomorrow and do the same thing for the rest of your life. Yes. That's being mangunt. Got some questions? Guess what?
Speaker 2:I like to be slow. Yes, sir. Alright. Hunter, make out for Hunter. Hey.
Speaker 2:Here's what we're gonna do. Cali. What did he say? Okay. It's 11:10.
Speaker 2:Guys, I I we look I'd hover. I'm my own. I'm Dior. I love you. I want somebody here to meet, so I don't care.
Speaker 2:The biggest thing know, I wanna start. Thomas said so. Hey. You've you got fifty minutes. I want you to go here to war.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. And I want you to ask him this question. You guys can have this time. Lord, what is something you want to bring to my attention in my marriage?
Speaker 2:What is something you wanna show me in my marriage? Just a second. I like that. If you're single, Lord, what is something you wanna show me in my heart? If you have never heard from the Lord before, that's okay.
Speaker 2:It's three things. The Lord is always encouraging. There's no accusation. Yeah. K?
Speaker 2:If you're like, I can't tell the difference between my voice and God's voice. K? If it's something that you probably wouldn't come up with on your own more times than not, it is God. Okay? And then number three, he loves when you ask him questions.
Speaker 2:You just sit and just, Lord, what do you have to say? This is exactly what do. Lord, tell me what you gotta say. Hope. And just write.
Speaker 2:Just write. And just see what happens. That's number one. Number two, if you have a wife, this weekend, I encourage you to do it now. Just have Ben to explode our phones.
Speaker 2:That's if you need to apologize. If you need to do anything. If you need to tell her how amazing she is and how you love her with all your heart. If you need to re remind her about how you see her. Just if you need to say anything to her, write her a letter, send her a text, do a voice memo, give her a call.
Speaker 2:I've never had my wife say, hey. Is that stop encouraging me? Stop listening. If you need to go call us, if you need to say, hey, sweetie. I know things have been hard, and I wanna hone my garden night.
Speaker 2:I love you to call my mom. Pretty sure that'll blow up. Thank
Speaker 1:you so much for tuning in to the Raising Up Fathers podcast. Be sure to grab a friend or two and sign up for next year's summit. If this podcast encouraged you today, please share it with a friend. To learn more about 10,000 fathers, visit our website at raisingupfathers.com. Thank you.