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The New Mom Podcast is a Christian motherhood podcast for women navigating pregnancy, postpartum, and early motherhood.
Whether you're a first-time mom, expecting, or in the middle of sleepless nights, this show offers real, honest conversations about motherhood, marriage, identity, and faith. We talk about birth stories, postpartum recovery, relationships, mental health, and trusting God through every stage of motherhood. If you're looking for encouragement, practical advice, and a reminder that you're not alone—this podcast is for you.
Our prayer is that New Mom leaves you feeling seen, strengthened, and a little more equipped for the beautiful calling of motherhood!
New episodes weekly.
Welcome back to New Mom. My guest today is my new friend, Tori Masters. She is a beautiful mom to three boys. You may know her from her morning devotionals podcast with her husband, Mornings with the Masters, or her podcast Talks with Tori. Tori is very open about her faith.
Carrie:She shares it on socials, on YouTube. And, today, we just got to have a great conversation about parenthood, motherhood, being boy moms. She was a home birth mom, so she shares a little bit about that. We get into how to pray for your kids and how to explain Jesus to them starting at an early age for them to understand that He's in our hearts, how we invite them in. So this is this is a really fun one.
Carrie:And without further ado, here is my convo with Tori. Yay. Well, hi, Tori. Hi. Welcome to New Mom.
Tori:Oh, thank you for having me.
Carrie:Thank you for being on. This is already so I feel like we already started our coffee date, like I know. Twenty minutes ago. I'm just figuring out all
Tori:the We should've just been recording this
Carrie:on We our should've know. Just realized that we lived in the same neighborhood and didn't know it Yes. In LA. Yes. So crazy.
Tori:Small world. It really is. And now we're here.
Carrie:And now we're here.
Tori:And literally, you messaged me and then we ran into each other randomly twice in a week. So
Carrie:I know. This was so crazy. Okay. So I don't know if you know this side of the conversation, but I feel like it's or the story, but I feel like it's worth sharing. Yes.
Carrie:So I messaged you. I was like, I'd love to have you on the podcast. I know you were semi local and I just think you're great. I was like, she'd be amazing. So anyway, messaged you.
Carrie:We connect. You're like, yes. I'll be on the podcast. So the next day, we go to church and we sit next to this sweet older couple who are amazing. We start talking to them and they're like, what do you guys do?
Carrie:And we're like, I mean, like, we're actors. We're kinda doing, like, the podcast thing, whatever. And and they just kinda say in passing, oh my gosh. Like, our our neighbors, like, Chad and Tory, like, they they live in our neighborhood and and they also do I was like, oh, that's so crazy. Like, I'm I'm having her on I just messaged her yesterday.
Carrie:That's a small world.
Tori:That is so funny.
Carrie:So in the meantime, they're sweet. We connect with them. They pray over us. They're like, can we bless you guys with lunch? Like, it's Mother's Day.
Carrie:Do wanna
Tori:go to
Carrie:lunch with us? Aw. They're just the sweetest. You
Tori:know? Yes.
Carrie:So we're like, yeah. Of course. So we go walk to lunch with them. And on the way, I said to Connor, was like, so crazy that, like, they they know them. That's like what a small world connection.
Carrie:This town is small, which is real. Small.
Tori:It is the biggest small town ever.
Carrie:So like we're Yes. So to us, was crazy.
Tori:We're from LA.
Carrie:Uh-huh. And then we walk to go to lunch with them. I walk in and you're just sitting there with Micah. And I was like
Tori:our little date. Wait. What? Yeah.
Carrie:It was just it was so funny. And also, like, when you meet somebody, like, I think connecting people on socials is just a different generation. It's a different time. Because it's like, okay. I've never met you in person But I feel like I know you.
Carrie:Message you. Like, I'm not gonna walk past you and not say hi. It was just so funny. So we're both like Uh-huh. I know you, but I haven't met you.
Tori:But hi. And also when you're just messaging too, you're like, are wait. You are that person. Right? Like, because you're, like, walking in from afar and you're
Carrie:like Is that them?
Tori:Just kind of staring.
Carrie:I feel like you're easy to notice because your hair is stunning and very specific.
Tori:So I
Carrie:was like, I'm pretty sure that's her. You're also always a blue. I was like, that girl's blue. I'm literally always
Tori:in blue cream or white or denim.
Carrie:Which is very much your color. But it was so funny. I saw was like, that's gotta be her. It's her absolute doppelganger.
Tori:But That is so funny.
Carrie:Yeah. I love it. It's funny running into you. I just thought was funny that it was like, was your neighbors that we were going to lunch with that had just said they knew you and that's why it has to We
Tori:just happened to be out on our back port or our back patio
Carrie:When we went to their house for dinner. I'd said to Connor, was like, that'd be so funny. I don't I didn't I thought you were just in the neighborhood. I didn't know we were next
Tori:door neighbors. No. Literally.
Carrie:Was like, okay. So they live over here, whatever. Okay. Well, hopefully, I don't run a nurse. She's gonna think I'm crazy.
Carrie:No. We roll in. And I look right. And I was like So funny. Are they sitting in their eye again for, like, the second time.
Carrie:But Yeah.
Tori:Anyway. Felt like a wildly goodbye encounter where it's just like those tiny little confirmations along the way where you're like, oh, it's not just a podcast. Like, is someone out there who needs to have this conversation.
Carrie:This is so mine. Yes. Exactly.
Tori:Just feels like God's on it. His hands on it.
Carrie:Fun. Thank you so much for being on. For those who don't know you, share a little bit about, you know, what you're about, your marriage, your kids, who you are.
Tori:Where do we start? You know, when
Carrie:people are like, what's your story? I'm like, which one? Which one exactly? Like, couple of
Tori:so many lives. Okay. So my husband and I, we have been married for, gosh, seven years now. Right? Oh my goodness.
Carrie:2019?
Tori:Yeah. 2019. Seven years. We have three little boys, three three and under. We tried to have a baby for over a year.
Tori:Really, we're, like, had to wrestle with God, thinking maybe we wouldn't have kids Mhmm. And then three back to back, which just feels like God's goodness. We also had a podcast, a daily podcast for four years called Mornings with the Masters, which was our baby. We love that so much. I was just telling you, it was like almost 1,500 episodes every single day.
Tori:That is a feat. That's amazing. It was so much fun. We loved it. It was so our heart.
Tori:But when we got pregnant with our third, we were like, okay, I think our capacity is, a little bit smaller. We've also moved like six times in the last like three years. And so I've had a lot of life lifing, you know? And you
Carrie:know that as a mom,
Tori:I mean, all the moms watching, like, when you are bringing babies into the picture and you're moving and It's a lot. Life is just crazy. Keeping up with a daily podcast just felt like a lot. But hopefully someday it'll come back when we have a little bit more capacity. And then I also have my own podcast Talks with Tori, where I just feel like it's a really safe place for women to come and just go deep with the Lord and talk about it.
Tori:And so that feels really special that just kind of relaunched recently. Yeah. I'm sure we'll get into a lot of other things.
Carrie:Yeah. Well, okay. Well, thanks for sharing that. Also Talks with Tori is really good. I was just telling you, listened to the first episode.
Carrie:I was like, go off. So so so I think it was Parable once.
Tori:But I
Carrie:was like, I was in my you know when you're like doing the podcast where you're cleaning, like deep cleaning? Yes. I was like, yes. This is so good. Please.
Carrie:I'm like under my head, under my sink. I love it. I love it.
Tori:But it's
Carrie:but it's so good. And like you said, you're a mom to three Mhmm. Three boys. Three boys. And I have a boy mom, but only, you know, only one so far.
Carrie:Uh-huh. Yeah. What what is the Lord my opening question I love to ask is like, is the Lord teaching you in this season of motherhood? That
Tori:his joy is my strength, truly. Because I think it can be really overwhelming sometimes. And I think there's so many different narratives on social media. Right? There's the narrative where we pretend like everything is perfect all the time and that every single piece and part of motherhood is beautiful.
Tori:And it is. Right? Like motherhood is beautiful. But there's also aspects where you're like, what am I doing? Like, do I actually even know what I'm doing right now?
Tori:And why are they all crying at the same time? And why do I actually feel so overwhelmed and overstimulated? And and the Lord just continually being like, I'm in your midst. I'm in your midst. In this moment, I'm in your midst.
Tori:And I have decisions to make in those moments to come back to him, to invite him in to those moments where it would be really easy to just sin in my anger, lean into frustration, feel completely overwhelmed. But it's like, Lord, in these moments where I'm overwhelmed, would you overwhelm me? Like, would your spirit, like, overwhelm me with peace and with steadiness so that their overwhelm doesn't lead to my overwhelm
Carrie:because that's only gonna overwhelm them more.
Tori:And it's just gonna escalate the situation. And, you know, when there's more kids involved and you actually are pulled in every direction, it can just get heightened really really quickly. And so he's just teaching me to, like, really rely on him and, like, the more filled with joy I am, the more joy filled my kids are. Because when I can show up and be excited to be mom. Right?
Tori:And, like, be excited to play with them and love on them and get on their level and look at them in in the eyes with intentionality, it's like, oh, this is so much more fun. It's like when we are distracted and leaning into all the things that we need to do and we look at them as a distraction
Carrie:Yes.
Tori:From what we need to do. It's like that's when the frustration is so easy to seep in. That's so true.
Carrie:Oh my gosh. Even just with one. Like, I I feel that so much. I'm like, if my if my brain is split and if for a second Mhmm. Which like life is life and not that there's not moments where we have to get something done.
Carrie:Totally. But the second that he shifts to second fiddle in in the room when I'm trying to get anything done and he become then your frustration creeps in and they all of a sudden they become they become a distraction. Right? As as opposed to when you lock in
Tori:Yeah.
Carrie:And you're right. It's so much more joyful. They're so much more joyful. Yeah. And just
Tori:makes it all more fun.
Carrie:It makes it so much more fun. I I yeah. I had a I had a sick little boy yesterday. He had a bit of an ear infection which is it's his first ear infection. Right?
Carrie:It was kind of like a
Tori:We've actually never had an ear infection.
Carrie:We I was like the very beginning of one, thankfully. And you
Tori:caught it. We we were getting coffee.
Carrie:He's one. We're like, dang it. But, yeah. And we yeah. We took it to the doctor.
Carrie:They're like, just the beginning phases. So anyway, he just like, needless to say, had like a very, very fussy day.
Tori:Yeah.
Carrie:And it was cool because I had one of the I was like home alone with him and I was like, I can fully lean in. Like, we're gonna have a sick day and like Yeah. It's gonna be sweet. Uh-huh. And it's painful to see your, you know, your baby in in pain.
Carrie:But also, like They're
Tori:your snuggles.
Carrie:Yeah. We're pulling out the snuggles, the pups, whatever, you know, whatever needs to happen. And it was just I I love that about just like feeling feeling the Lord's joy because I actually look back at yesterday as a really sweet day Yeah. When, oh my gosh, if my mindset was different and if I was focused on my frustration or even just the selfishness of just like, I had things I wanted to accomplish or whatever it then that day would be seen as like a major frustration and eye roll or whatever, even if I was sad that he was sick. And instead it was just so sweet.
Carrie:I mean, like, I'm so praise the Lord he's feeling better.
Tori:But
Carrie:also that was a sweet day. Uh-huh. So I love that. That's so good. Yeah.
Tori:Thanks. It was definitely I mean, we just went through like a month of sickness because then when you have multiple, then one gets sick Oh, no. And then they give it to the next one and then they get to the next one. And then inevitably, mommy and Say dad somebody's gotta get sick. And then it just did that for like a month.
Tori:Like, we would get better.
Carrie:Wow. And
Tori:then like one person would end up waking up and not feeling good again. And we're like, no.
Carrie:Because we, like, knew it would just go through the whole family again. Serious question. Did you have three? I I almost posted yesterday, like, what do moms do? I almost, like, put a little q and a up.
Carrie:Like, give me your tips when your kid's sick. What like seriously, what did you guys how do you try to do you have any like tips or things you're like, we just like lock into this this mode or we try to do this? Like, what is helpful? Because those are hard days.
Tori:It's hard days. We literally vlogged one of the days.
Carrie:And it's just funny because you just
Tori:do what you gotta do.
Carrie:Like, it's kind of like everything that was on our to do list to do today just goes away.
Tori:Mhmm. Like, just goes away and you lock in and screen time comes out.
Carrie:Oh, yeah. I was gonna say Mickey Mouse Clubhouse came out for sure yesterday.
Tori:Yeah. Have trash truck on. We have like all the they just wanna watch construction trucks and like random things.
Carrie:But I'll try that.
Tori:Basically, haven't tried that one yet.
Carrie:Yeah. I'm like very very specific on like what they can and can't watch. I'm so so I thought my mom was strict and then I'm like, oh, I think I'm stricter than you. I'm fine. All I wanna pull out is the nineties stuff.
Tori:Yeah. It's better.
Carrie:It's like lower stimulation or something. Yes. But then I've gone to, like,
Tori:a whole another level where I'm like, wait, you let me watch that? Yeah. Like, wait,
Carrie:why is that on this?
Tori:And so yeah. My my yeah. Mhmm. I'll go I'll go I'll digress very quickly on that whole rabbit trail.
Carrie:I'll talk about that later.
Tori:Yeah. That's probably a different podcast. But yeah. I mean, lock in in terms of, like, sick, we get the lollipops that are like the medicine lollipops. Oh.
Tori:Burt's bees have, like, the zinc lollipops that are medicine. But the kids obviously love them and they think they're getting a treat. So we're like, okay, lollipop, couch, snuggles, TV, try to
Carrie:get as much fluid as we can in them.
Tori:I do electrolytes just like in their water. We do like the little immune boosting Burt's Bees stuff. I have like the Feel Better little serums like
Carrie:So good. All the
Tori:things that I should have been doing to prevent it.
Carrie:Now I'm like double dosing it because they actually are sick. And, yeah, it's funny you ask because I'm like New Mom Podcast. I'm three kids and I still feel like I'm figuring it out.
Tori:Mhmm. Like, I don't have it all together. Not even close. And so, yeah, it's more of just like, okay, if they're sick, here here we are. Like, we're gonna do the best we can.
Tori:We're gonna love on them as much as we can. It was funny because I did have my mom in town and it was sad because my baby got sick. My nine month old got sick. And he was just so sad. And he like had a fever and he just wanted to snuggle.
Tori:And so I like had him just chest I like took took my clothes off. His clothes are off. We're just like
Carrie:Skin to skin.
Tori:Skin to skin, just I I typically do like avoid like Tylenol and different things. Like I try to like let the fever do what it's supposed to do unless it gets like extreme. And then my mom like called her friend who is a nurse and it was just super reassuring because I was doing all the things the nurse, like, suggested that I do.
Carrie:Oh, that always feels good. And I was like, I just kept looking at my mom. I was like, oh, I'm doing it. Oh, I was doing it already.
Tori:And it, like, felt really nice and encouraging to be like, man,
Carrie:the holy spirit really
Tori:truly does give you discernment for what your child needs. And like my second, I did end up having to give him like an Genexa or like whatever it was, like a a Tylenol because I was like, okay, your fever has lasted longer than I'm comfortable with. Mhmm. And so it's just interesting how it's like there's no like one rule fits all. Don't do this or do that.
Tori:It's like, no, let me lean into the Holy Spirit and trust that God has given me my child for a reason. And he's given me his spirit to discern what my child needs in this moment. And I don't need to go to social media to tell me like what I need to do for my child. Like, I need to go to the holy spirit. Mhmm.
Tori:Like, I have the the helper, like, literally living inside of me. Maybe I should call on him.
Carrie:That's so good. Yeah. I love that, Tori. That's so good. Yeah.
Carrie:I'm gonna definitely keep that in mind the next time that I I wanna get the lollipops.
Tori:I feel
Carrie:like those are Yeah. Seriously. Are they good? Like them in the show
Tori:notes? Yeah. I have not had them. No.
Carrie:I like normal lollipops. Yeah. Like a real sugar kinda girl. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Carrie:Me too. Yeah. Me too. Okay. So because the show my little plastic list just came off.
Carrie:Sad. I guess it was never hooked right. Well, anyway, for later. Rip, I do love this. I just got this.
Carrie:I love it so much. It's very cute. Okay. So because the show is called New Mom Love it. You like you just said, like, you still feel like a new mom in certain ways, like, you're figuring it out.
Carrie:But do you remember, like, if you can take us back to like what it was like when you brought Micah's your oldest. Right? Yep. Like when you brought him home and you were truly a new mom. Yeah.
Carrie:Do you remember what that felt like? What that experience was like? And how has the Lord just, like, grown you and shifted you and changed you or Yeah. Get compared to, like, how you are as a mom of three? Oh, yeah.
Tori:Well, I'm a home birth mama. Yeah. Crazy town. And my my birth story with Micah was pretty crazy. It was like a thirty six hour labor stuck at seven centimeters for over fifteen hours kind of thing.
Carrie:Oh my gosh. And Tori.
Tori:Woah. And I'm just stubborn. Like, they they're like, I think we should go to hospital. I'm like, no, I'm fine. And it wasn't like just as a preface, when they said I need to go to
Carrie:the hospital, it's just because
Tori:I was exhausted. It wasn't because there was They any medical were just like, are you know, sure? You don't want you know, whatever. But I would have actually funny enough looking back, I'm like, oh, well, home birth standards are a little bit different in terms of, like, when they would make you have a c section or whatever. And so they would have actually like, had I been transferred, I would have ended up having, like, an emergency c section.
Tori:And so it's funny looking back, I'm like, holy spirit, you are so good because I was able to birth my child and I knew I was fine. I just needed an IV. Like, I was like, can y'all just give me fluids or something to like give me more energy because I've been up for like, I don't know, forty hours or something. And they gave me the IV. I immediately, like, went into transition and I was like, give me one hour to get this baby out.
Tori:If I don't have the baby out in an hour, like, you can transfer me. And I did. So I like goals. And so it it was wild. But because I was home, it was so beautiful.
Tori:Like, the labor and the birth process was so hard. Mhmm. And then right after was, like, glorious. And it was just like, I remember he gave me that, like, first little sleep where we, like, slept for four hours and I, like, woke up and I felt like a new woman. And I had my baby on my chest that I didn't know if I'd ever be able to have.
Tori:And it it was like the sweetest first couple of days. And then I feel like it was like day four that the adrenaline wore off a little bit. And you're up through the night and they're crying and you don't know how to get them to stop crying. And you've like gone through the list of things where it's like, but wait, I've fed you. I've burped you.
Tori:I've changed you. I've rocked you. I've sang, like, why are you still crying? Yeah. And you look at your husband and you're like, wait.
Tori:What? Like, what are you supposed to do?
Carrie:What is thing? Like, what is like, what?
Tori:And you just have those moments where you're like, oh, this is, like, real. And I'm, like, really exhausted. And, like, is this our new normal? You know? Like, is this what I just like, you know?
Tori:And it's like, has nothing to do with your love for the child. You're still so obsessed, so in love, wouldn't trade it for the world. But the reality hits you a little bit and the hormones are crazy and everything And, and I just really wish that I trusted people when they said it's just for a small season. Like it really does go so fast. Mhmm.
Tori:And you really won't remember how hard it is. That's so
Carrie:true. Yeah. And it's it's so gone because it's like, that's how you do it Yeah. I'm like so ready again. You're like, oh, that's so bad.
Carrie:I can't wait.
Tori:Should do it
Carrie:again. Highly recommend.
Tori:Because they're worth it. Right? And it's like everything in life that like really means something or has like significant value comes with sacrifice, like, comes with suffering. Mhmm. And and it it's like to the level of which you suffer almost or you give is almost to the level of which you experience the joy too and, like, the blessing and the purpose inside of it all.
Tori:It's like, man, I would literally actually sacrifice my life for you. Like, actually. Mhmm. And you learn so much about Jesus' love through it where you're like, wow. Like, you gave your life for me.
Tori:Like, you your body was broken for me. And and you see like this child who's not really like giving you anything,
Carrie:but just like taking from you in a way. Like, especially when they're a newborn, they're not even like smiling at
Tori:you yet. Right? But it's like, I would do anything for you. Like, you're not technically giving me anything, but I love you unconditionally, you know. And it's like the beautiful part of just figuring out more of the heart of God in that.
Tori:But then it does. It gets it gets easier and and my kids don't sleep. So I do think there's moms out there who live like a fundamentally different motherhood when their kids sleep just like out the gate. Mine don't. So if there's moms out there and your kids aren't sleeping like.
Carrie:You're not alone. You're not alone. Yeah. We're we're in this together.
Tori:And and so they did shift like both of my older started sleeping better at like the six seven month mark. I'm nine months in with my third, we're still not sleeping. But I know at this stage with a third, I'm like, it will change. Like and so I'm not as like dramatic about it because
Carrie:That makes sense to me.
Tori:I'm just like, oh, like I know in a couple months, like, we'll get our rhythm back. I'll sleep again. Like, I know that. It is a short season. It is a short season.
Tori:Like, I really will forget. Like, he's already so big and chunky at nine months. I'm like, wait, you were just born though. Like Yes. How did that happen?
Tori:And so I think the perspective that you gain when you have more children, you just realize like, no, it really does go so fast and it is just a season. And I will forget, like, how tired I was or like any of those things that happens too. Yeah.
Carrie:You're like, how could I possibly forget this? So I feel the same way. Like, I had a really bad tear with postpartum and stuff. And it was brutal for, I mean, a good three or three probably weeks. And, I totally remember that that feeling of like, I I don't know if I can ever do this again.
Carrie:And I loved pregnancy. I had a very smooth pregnancy. I was really blessed with that. And then delivery even wasn't so bad. But then the recovery was brutal.
Tori:Yeah.
Carrie:And because of that, couldn't really take care of Archie. It was a lot of like passing him off and Yeah. And I just Hard. At the time, I was like, I don't I was so scared about, oh my gosh, I loved pregnancy. I wanna be a bummed, like numerous kids.
Carrie:And now I'm terrified. I'll never forget this feeling. And it's just so crazy how like looking yeah. Back now I'm literally and I actually look forward to with with like, you know, if the Lord blesses us with more kids, hopefully, I I do look forward to going through the newborn phase with the perspective
Tori:Yeah.
Carrie:Because it did feel like trenches. And I think you're so right where I'm like, I wish I would have listened when everybody's like, that's gonna go so fast. Yeah. Every because I'm like, I don't know. Is this our life now?
Carrie:Like, I love this child. Like you said Yeah. Love this baby more than anything. Will we ever have routine again? Will I ever sleep again?
Carrie:Will these things ever will I ever wash my hair? Like, you know, without, you know, having thirty seconds
Tori:We or love that. Yeah.
Carrie:No. I literally, the the other day, I I don't if I told this story on this podcast yet. Don't think I have. But I've told it to lots of friends because Connor was outside mowing the lawn. Yeah.
Carrie:And I was like, I'm out of the trenches. So it's a pretty Yeah. Good like, can take showers now. My hair is usually clean. Yeah.
Carrie:But I was he usually, I shower when he's napping if I can, but you know how naps are. I don't get
Tori:those anymore because my third doesn't nap. Okay. So you get it.
Carrie:Like, you get the when am I gonna possibly, like, get this in.
Tori:That's why all three of them were
Carrie:in the shower with me today. Okay. So Yes. That's why I tell this story.
Tori:I did. So I literally
Carrie:had him. He was, like, banging on the shower door. Like, he woke up from his nap early. I had to wash my hair. And he's banging on the door, and then he started sliding because there was some waters that I'm worried about him.
Carrie:Mhmm. So I was like so my shampoo's, like, up to the ceiling. Like, my hair is up like this. And I was like, forget it. So I just pulled him in in his little polo and, like, caddies.
Carrie:Mhmm. And we took a shower. Yep. And it was like And
Tori:he had fun,
Carrie:didn't he? He had the water. Yeah. Yeah. I I'll put the cutest pictures of him afterward being like I was like, these, you know, was like drenched clothes.
Carrie:Yeah. But but like this too, even that, I was like, oh, wow. Like, this used to feel like every day. Like, it's impossible. And now it's just an occasional thing.
Carrie:And he's, you know, he's over a year now. So, like, we're getting out of that phase and we'll enter back in. But the perspective is already everything. So I do I I think that's such like a good reflection. Yeah.
Carrie:And that's that's cool to see like how in the three babies you've kinda Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sorry to delay that.
Tori:It shifts. Yeah.
Carrie:And it
Tori:and it like, literally even like when nap schedules change and stuff, everything changes. And so I was just telling Chad literally two days ago, I was like, I already know like our rhythm feels so off as a family right now because I have one on one nap and one on two naps and one not napping. And so no one is synced up. I mean, it's brutal.
Carrie:So it
Tori:is just kind of like, okay, well, everything kinda depends on if Ezzy takes a long nap or a short nap for his first nap depending on when he woke up. Like today, woke up at 04:15AM for the day.
Carrie:For the day? For the day.
Tori:Nice. I'm like, okay. Why are we clapping? Yeah. Yeah.
Tori:Why are you talking to me right now? I was like, I thought I
Carrie:was feeding you to get you back to sleep. Why did I feed you and we're awake?
Tori:Yeah. He's like, oh, breakfast great. Yo. Thanks, Moe. Yeah.
Tori:Let's party.
Carrie:Oh my gosh.
Tori:And so it's just
Carrie:kinda funny though because I told my husband, was like,
Tori:I know everything will shift once he shifts to one nap. Like, because then him and Noah will nap at the same time. I'll feel like I can have a morning outing with the kids. The two littles will go down. I can hang out with Micah.
Tori:And then, you know, we'll have our afternoon outing before bedtime. Like, I know that it will shift. And so I'm like, we just gotta get through this like weird, probably only two or three months before he shifts to one nap. Because Noah switched to one nap at 10.
Carrie:I was gonna ask, he's Archie still does two naps, but the second one's like a cat nap. But I don't know when to switch. Like, should I just try to cut a nap or do you just
Tori:like let it happen?
Carrie:How do you do it?
Tori:I switched Micah a little bit later, my first.
Carrie:I think he was a year old.
Tori:Yeah. He switched to one nap when we moved to Tennessee and he was just over a year. And so it's
Carrie:I think it's always dependent on the kid.
Tori:But when they start kind of like fussing at that second nap and it feels like a fight for the second nap, that's when we were like, okay, it's time. And so with our second, I think because he was having a little bit of FOMO with the oldest and then we felt like the first nap he was having a harder time, like, falling asleep. Like, he wasn't tired enough to go down early. And then he was fighting the second nap. We're like, you're only 10.
Tori:Is this too early? And I was like, no. Like, he's ready. And so and then our life got so much easier because they were both napping at the same time. That is really nice.
Tori:And then we're like, oh, wow. Like, we now have, like, a two hour window during the day
Carrie:where both of
Tori:them are napping.
Carrie:And then all do three nap at the same time.
Tori:Would be great. I
Carrie:oldest guess son is gonna more. Yeah. So
Tori:unless daddy puts him down for
Carrie:a nap.
Tori:But it like
Carrie:takes Chad a solid thirty minutes to even get him down to like convince him to take a nap. And so sometimes it's like not even worth it. Like it's just like it's like half the day
Tori:is trying to get him to take the thirty minutes. Yeah. And we're like, let's just not.
Carrie:We just triple. Yeah. We just hour to get got an hour out And of so, yeah, again, it's
Tori:just that perspective of knowing that, like, it really does shift so quickly when
Carrie:you have littles from just like month to month.
Tori:Where you're
Carrie:like, oh, sleep can totally change from month to month. Naps can totally change from month to month. One month, they're
Tori:only breastfeeding. The next month, they're
Carrie:like eating solids. Like there's so much that's changing
Tori:in that first year, year and a half. And then you're like, oh, now we feel like we kinda have like our rhythm and we know what to expect. Mhmm. You know? And so
Carrie:That's so good. I wanna touch on you mentioned earlier before we start recording that you've had a good experience with your third for breastfeeding.
Tori:Mhmm.
Carrie:I needed to hear that. So Yeah. If there's other girls out there that had a not so great experience Yeah. Yeah. Like, just share a little bit about maybe like how the how the first two went and like how this is going.
Carrie:So, like, it's so redemptive to hear what it is.
Tori:Praise God. And he is the God that redeems. My first it was actually I felt like going really well for the first couple of weeks with him. And then they told us he had a tongue tie that needed to be revised. And so we went and we got it revised, and then it felt like everything got worse.
Tori:And so
Carrie:You already told her I had the same story yet.
Tori:Yeah. Keep going. And so then I ended up with mastitis like a week later, and I was like, oh, I'm guessing it's because, like, of the surgery. Maybe he, like, isn't, like, pulling the milk as well because he's still recovering or, like, whatever that is. And and then the next month, I got mastitis again.
Tori:And I'm like, what is going on? And it just felt like he was so gassy, so uncomfortable, and not sleeping well at all. And I'm a new mom. I'm like googling everything, trying to like figure everything out. And I wish I that's like probably my favorite advice for new moms.
Tori:Like get off Google. Like get off chat GPT. Like really actually lean into the holy spirit.
Carrie:That's really good.
Tori:And because it just like feeds your worry instead of just feeling confident that God's given you your child. And so anyways, it was just really tough with him. And it was like I still remember it was like so emotional making that decision to stop or to start weaning or whatever. And then I was like, okay. Well, I got the advice to like try to do formula before bed, and I was desperate for sleep.
Tori:This is when we were doing the daily podcast. We were doing two YouTube videos a week. We're on Instagram every day. Like, we're doing so much content too. Where I was like, I just feel like I have nothing to say because I'm so tired.
Tori:And and so anyways, we gave him the formula before bed and he slept seven hours. And I was like,
Carrie:what? What?
Tori:I'm a new mom. And and so then we started doing that, but then I ended up
Carrie:with mastitis again because I got rest. And so my boobs freaked out and because you said you didn't pump.
Tori:No. I didn't pump. Good for you. Well, I was just kind of like, if the whole point is for me to
Carrie:get sleep, why am I gonna wake up and pump? Like, I'm just gonna put my baby on
Tori:my boobs. Yeah. And so anyways, yeah, I just I decided to stop around like that. I always not always. When I first two, I weaned from like starting at five months when I started introducing formula.
Tori:And then by the time we were introducing food, they were typically like almost fully on bottles and I was like Got it. Fully not breastfeeding anymore. But then with Ezzy, I just really prayed. I was like, God, I just I really want to experience what that's like to like actually love breastfeeding and enjoy breastfeeding and have a baby that loves breastfeeding. And it has been so sweet and so funny.
Tori:Like this kid is funny. It's like the dog thing too because I take a bath with all the boys at night. And if he hears the bathtub running, something happened in the last month where he thinks that the bathtub means that he can breastfeed. And it's like immediately when I take off his diaper and I'm like going to get in the bath with him. And I've never breastfed a baby that's so like strong and big.
Tori:Mhmm. So he's just immediately like like literally like he's
Carrie:like attached to my boob like before I even like get in the bathtub.
Tori:He's like, I have to be like on the boob. I'm like, okay.
Carrie:And I just embrace it
Tori:and it's fun and it's funny like how much he loves it and I'm just not strict about the schedule or like when it is. Mhmm. And it just feels very free where I just feel like I was so anxious, you know? Like I think there's so much anxiety of like, am I doing it right? Is the timing right?
Tori:There's so many different methods and you feel like you have to like hit all of these things. It's so overwhelming. And I remember my mom being like, I
Carrie:just don't remember any of
Tori:this with you. And I'm like, what do you mean? And I'm like, oh, well, didn't have all this information thrown at you. Like, if you needed advice, you just asked a friend or your mom. That's so true.
Tori:You didn't go on the internet.
Carrie:They they just didn't they didn't overthink the way we did because they didn't have to. They didn't have to. They didn't have to choose between a 100,000 ideas and options for breastfeeding. Was just like, I don't know. Yeah.
Carrie:I felt I felt that anxiety so much. But I'm so encouraged to hear a couple of friends of mine are also just praying for like redemptive breastfeeding experiences because I will see out and about, you know, a mom just goes, I'm just gonna go nurse or whatever. I'm like, it was just never like that for me. Like it was sweat. It was stress.
Carrie:It was, and I didn't want to. Like, I'm
Tori:not Yeah.
Carrie:I'm not incredibly type a. Like, I'm kinda I don't know. I'm like half type a half type b.
Tori:I'm like, let's always look at the husband. Yeah. I'm like, say that. He's like, yes,
Carrie:you are. But I'm like, a little both. But, but I didn't want to be like, I went in with the right mindset for breastfeeding.
Tori:And then
Carrie:I think I just had such a bummer experience of feeling immediately like because Arch had a tongue tied too. Like, okay, he's not pulling or he's he's not pulling enough. And so now my supply is dipping. And then all you hear is, well, don't be stressed because if you're stressed, your supply is gonna dry up. And I'm like, but now I'm so stressed.
Tori:Now you're more stressed.
Carrie:Everybody's like, make sure you're hydrated. Make sure you eat a bunch. But like, when you have a newborn, is hard to like run to the bathroom, let alone make sure you're getting high you're getting electrolytes. So much.
Tori:It's so much from you.
Carrie:Yes. And so when I think about breastfeeding, kinda similar to you with Micah, like that first month was amazing. But then after that, it was stressful. So I'm I'm holding on to that. I'm praying.
Carrie:And and I have been praying for that, like, redemptive experience because he does like you said, the Lord does desire to redeem these things. And, I'm just really I'm really hoping for that. So I'm
Tori:praying for you as well.
Carrie:Thank you.
Tori:Yeah. I think truly it's perspective and going in knowing that like you just intuitively do it with your baby, you know? And I just yeah. I so regret being like it has to be a certain way. I have to do this thing.
Tori:Especially because my personality is not type a. Mhmm. And so when everyone's telling me to do all of these things and it's like, I'm trying to move into a type a personality to like figure Yeah. This And now I'm like so anxious and so stressed Yeah. And trying to do it right.
Tori:And then I'm like, man, I just feel like my mom had more like
Carrie:joy. Like, just Freedom too. You said freedom earlier. That's like a really good word for what I see when I see moms that love nursing. Mhmm.
Carrie:There is a freedom when it's just like the two of you kind of just doing your doing your own thing and like there isn't that ridge rigidity? Is that a word? Rigidity? Rigidness? Rigidness.
Carrie:Rigidness. I mean That's the second episode before we go and said, like,
Tori:a fake I love it. Yeah. Spontaneity. Okay. Whatever.
Tori:Spontaneity is a word.
Carrie:Is it? Yes. I thought it was spontaneity. I think that's wrong. Think that's I don't know which one of You're making me feel better.
Tori:I could hear that.
Carrie:If you would have said it, I'd been like, that's totally I'm a Like, a really serious time.
Tori:And he was like, what? It's all about the confidence when you
Carrie:do it. Exactly. You just own it. Yeah. Spontaneity, spontaneity, they both sound right.
Carrie:So if somebody's wrong, It's probably me. But It's fine. Either way. Yeah. That's so good.
Carrie:So I would love to know, you and you and your husband,
Tori:you and
Carrie:Chad have such strong faith. It's so beautiful. It's very inspiring. How do you guys prioritize praying for the boys in terms of now and in their future? Like, what does that look like for you guys?
Carrie:Yeah.
Tori:I think it looks different every season. I think we're very, very specific about praying over them before they go to bed. Like, that's something I don't play around with. And I don't pray like a kid's prayer. Like I just pray.
Tori:Like I pray my prayer with my kid because they're sponges. And so they're all going to bed kinda separately right now. And so typically, I'll get Ezra down first.
Carrie:And so I always just like sing over him like as I'm putting
Tori:him to sleep, but then I'm praying, you know, once I stop singing before I lay him down. And then with Noah, I'm just like rocking him and he goes to sleep. Like I lay him down awake. But I'll like pray our prayer. Like I'm praying over our home.
Tori:I'm praying over like everything just out loud with him. And he knows like, what do we do with our hands when we pray? And he'll like do his little hands and he like sits a certain way and he just like knows like he's in my lap and he faces this way. And when I say amen, he turns around and he'll like lay on me. And, I'll be like, where is Jesus?
Tori:And he's like, my heart, mama's heart. You know, it's really cute. And I'm I'm already walking him through like, hey, buddy. Like, when we pray, like, we're gonna ask Jesus like for forgiveness for the day. And, like, the beautiful part of repentance and grace and, like, why we get it.
Tori:And so, like, even in our prayers at night, I'm, like, dear heavenly father, like, we thank you for this day. We thank you for all the time we got to play. We thank you for our home, for your provision. Like, we thank you that we get to, you know, do life together. But God, we really thank you for your grace.
Tori:We thank you and we ask for forgiveness for all the ways we fell short today. Remember when mommy send in her anger? Oh, mommy asked for forgiveness right now for that. Remember when you didn't listen to mommy and you had to say mommy sorry? Like, we gotta say sorry to Jesus too because Jesus forgives us for that.
Tori:And so we, like, literally walk through this, like, every night where it's like
Carrie:That's beautiful.
Tori:Like, thank you God. Like that we get to come to your throne room, that we get to talk to you God. That we get to look forward to heaven. We'll like talk about heaven and like the fact that he cried that day and in heaven, there's no tears and he'll get to be so creative and free. And I wonder what instruments you'll play and like things you'll learn and get to do.
Tori:And, because I think we're sold such a like cheap version of heaven, like here on earth, you know. It's like who looks forward to being a cherub on a cloud? Like no one. Ew. And so it's like, well, let's, like, get our kids excited about that.
Tori:And so we'll, like, talk about, like, how exciting heaven will be and that we get to live together for eternity and, like, all these things. And it just feels like such a sacred sweet little spot where it's like, this is holy ground. That's beautiful. And so, yeah, it just feels really intentional. And then Chad puts Micah to bed right now.
Tori:So they have their own little routine and it changes. But, I just feel like sometimes we dumb it down for our kids so much. And it's like, no, they're sponges and they're like, they're watching, you know, and and I want my kids to know how to pray. I want them to know how to repent. I want them to know how to ask for forgiveness.
Tori:I want them to know why we get grace. And so we'll we'll say like, Lord, we thank you for sending your son Jesus that died on the cross to set us free. Like you took all of our sins, all of our shortcomings. Like we're we're so thankful that we get to live in freedom because of what you did. And that now you get to live in our heart and your your spirit is with us so we're never alone.
Tori:You never forsake us. So we don't ever have to be scared. There's no fear because you're here. And so, like, he knows, like, he's in his room, know, alone, but he's not alone, because God's there. And so it just feels really special, you know, that, like, we are the gatekeepers for our kids.
Tori:And it's like what they watch, what they hear, what they you know? But it's like, I fall short every day. And so letting him see that and like, yeah, mommy fell short, you fell short. But guess what? When you wake up in the morning, new mercies, clean slate, like a whole new day to experience God's goodness.
Tori:And so when they wake up, it's like, okay, we have a brand new day. His mercies are new. It's it's new that He made it. Let's rejoice and be glad in it. We'll open up the windows.
Carrie:And,
Tori:and so there's just really, so many opportunities as a mom to open the door to teach your kids about prayer, especially when they get a little older and discipline comes into play. That's a tough one. Do you wanna expand on that? Do you
Carrie:wanna get into that? Or You don't have to.
Tori:I'm just kidding.
Carrie:Comments. Yeah. No. No. It's just, that's so good.
Carrie:And I I love I love what you're saying about that because our baby's one, but I'm just starting to get that place of like, yes, we pray over him. Yeah. But the and and the questions haven't come yet. Yeah. But I think it's so good what you said about we do, we dumb it down or, you know, we make these like little not there's anything wrong with little kids books, but it's like, you know, God made us the end kind of a And it can be so watered down that we don't under like, I think it's beautiful that you that you pray together, that you repent together, that you talk about Jesus dying on the cross.
Carrie:Like, you can just the fact that our kids can absorb that. So Yeah. I I really appreciate hearing that because we're just about to get to that place where I want him to know from the time that he can really comprehend anything Totally. Just how real Jesus is Well, it's living in him. It's encouragement to us.
Carrie:Yes.
Tori:Right? And so it's like, well, let's just do it with them.
Carrie:Mhmm.
Tori:You know? Like, I'm gonna pray at night anyway. Why don't I do it with him? Mhmm. You know?
Tori:Like, just invite him into that space. And I don't know when his little brain is gonna click and comprehend. Mhmm. But at some point, it really will. Mhmm.
Tori:You know? And so it's like, I might as well just be
Carrie:Yeah. And you're raising him up in that way. It's not like one day you're like, he's ready. I'll tell him about Jesus. Right.
Carrie:Exactly. He's not gonna know a day where Jesus wasn't on your lips and in the home Yes. And spoken over him and in his heart. I think that's just
Tori:And there's easy ways too. Like, I do get this question a lot of like, you are a busy mom. Your devotional time looks different.
Carrie:Mhmm.
Tori:And I think that's like a huge shift in motherhood because, your your quiet time doesn't look the same. It might not be quiet anymore. Yeah. You might have to find places or spaces or sacrifice to get it. Mhmm.
Tori:Like a lot of times, mine is at night right now because I'm not waking up before four. If my kid wakes up at four, like, okay. If he's up till six, like, I'd be totally down to wake up at five. I can do that. But my kid's not sleeping till six most mornings.
Tori:And so, a lot of times it's like my bible time and journal time at night at 8PM, when I can actually have that really specific time in the word like I want. But what I've noticed is if I leave my bible out and open on my counter, I'm so much more likely to read it through the day. Or if I'm, like, highlighting something and reading something specific, I'll just leave it out because how often do we check our phones throughout the day because it's just on the counter? Like, we have time.
Carrie:We have time. Yeah.
Tori:And so that's just been convicting for me where it's like, if it's out and it's open, like, I just need it readily available to me. Mhmm. Where even if it's like open to proverbs or open to psalms where it's like, can really just go in and like read a couple little verses and it's constantly like, you know, you're meditating on it. And then I love those, like, aesthetic videos on YouTube. Like, it's just instrumental, like, worship music and it's pretty background.
Tori:It might be like the beach or like somewhere where we were like, oh, that that looks like a place I wanna sit. But they have them where Versus just like constantly kind of scroll. Oh. And so it just feels like a really peaceful thing to
Carrie:have on your TV. Like, it kind
Tori:of sets the atmosphere of your home. But then throughout the day, as you're playing with your kids or you're cleaning up or whatever, you can just look up and there's a verse and you read it and you're like, oh, that was timely. Love that. And so just simple small ways where you're like, oh, it's saturated. You know what I mean?
Tori:Like, can we Yes. Saturate our home in scripture and in his presence? Because you might not wanna have like worship blaring throughout the whole day, but just something subtle, something calming. Mhmm. Because I have noticed sometimes I'll put worship music on, but then they're screaming everything and now I'm like, oh, wait, I'm actually like overstimulated.
Carrie:Salivations like going Yeah. Yeah.
Tori:It's like it like gets really loud at the end and I'm like, woah. Okay. I was really vibing Yeah. With it in the
Carrie:And now
Tori:I'm like Yeah. The boys
Carrie:are doing spontaneous. Yeah. That's a lot. Again, different with one with three. The three is like, wow, there's a lot going on.
Tori:And so, yeah, I just I because our environment in this season can get really loud really quick. I'm like, how do we, like, keep the peace? Like, how do I, like, create
Carrie:aspects of peace inside of this? Yeah. Totally. That's that's such a that's such a good realistic way to, like Yeah. To do it.
Carrie:I love that. Okay. Last question is what is your best piece of advice for a new mom?
Tori:First year of motherhood. First year.
Carrie:They're going to be first.
Tori:Okay. I was just laughing because this is different. This is more of just like boy mom advice. Something that's really like blessed me as boy mom is just knowing that they're washable, Like genuinely.
Carrie:That's so good.
Tori:Like they are.
Carrie:If they're washable, like let them get dirty.
Tori:Like you can throw them in the bath.
Carrie:You can get
Tori:the because stains out of their
Carrie:you're more type b apparently. I Oh, yeah.
Tori:That's good to know. Yeah. Lila does. Like, she laughs all the time because she comes outside and they're just like literally in the mud all the time That's so cute. Our sprinklers.
Tori:They're so good for Yeah.
Carrie:Like, have those hose that have like
Tori:the sprayers at like different settings. So that's like their new favorite toy. They just go outside. They do the different settings and every to the
Carrie:Yeah. It's like, oh, dirt's not good enough. We need to make it mud,
Tori:you know?
Carrie:And so like, let's make the dirt mud. Mud paste. Uh-huh. It's mud paste and now we're like picking bugs up to like show mommy and it's wiggling in their hands.
Tori:And I'm like, oh, this is a whole
Carrie:new level. I
Tori:got wasn't three prepared for. Walking away. Yeah. Literally comes in muddy with a beetle yesterday and it's still wiggling. And I'm like, let's leave it in his home, not our home.
Tori:Like, let's not bring that in our home. So it's just been helpful to be like, they're washable with their kids. And like the more fun I let them have, like, this is their childhood. And so going back to like first year, I still go back to like break off the spirit of anxiety, you know, like genuinely in prayer. Like you have so much authority in prayer.
Tori:And I don't think new moms are really tapping into that enough because I know I didn't. Where it's like there is like spirits of frustration, anxiety, depression, and all of those things can be, like, broken off in the name of Jesus because our children are a blessing. They are not a burden. And the more we can look at them as, like, this is our heritage from the Lord. Like, there's things that God has called us to.
Tori:There's things that we're excited about. There's ministries that you wanna have your hand in. But like, this is our greatest ministry. And these are the only treasures we get to bring to heaven with us. And so when I just think about my kids, I'm like, when I strip everything down, like what really matters to me is like having my kids in heaven with me and like not missing this season where I'm like, I want them to look back at their childhood and be like, my mom loved being my mom.
Tori:You know? Like she loved being my mom and she loved the Lord. And she wasn't scared to say sorry. Like as young as one years old. Like there's moments where it's like, man, I need to apologize in this moment to my baby, like to my kid.
Tori:And the humility that comes through that and like the pride that has to be stripped off and the selfishness that has to be stripped off. And it's like, but that's the whole point. Mhmm. Right? It's like, wow, God.
Tori:Like, thank you for this role that is genuinely the most sanctifying role I have ever played. Like, I've ever had a part in because it reveals so much in me that I was unaware of. It does. Yeah. I'm like, wait, hold on.
Tori:I didn't think I struggled with anger. Yeah. Exactly. Wait. Wait.
Tori:Wait. I've
Carrie:never exactly. I've never been tempted to scream. I've never been tempted to, you know, punch the counter. Yeah.
Tori:Yeah. This is refining.
Carrie:Yes. Is. It's beautifully refining.
Tori:It is. But it's like, okay. Well, the whole point is to look more like Jesus. Mhmm. And so, yeah, I think about the gold maker and the refinement process of gold.
Tori:And it's like, okay. Well, in that process of refining gold, they blow up the rock and then they beat down the rock. And then they literally put what's been blown up, beaten down into a fire so that the impurities come out. And they pull it out of the fire. They wipe off the impurities.
Tori:They put it back in the fire. And then the goldmaker knows that the gold is ready when he can see his reflection in the gold. And I just see that in motherhood where it's like, man, some days you feel like you've been blown up, beat down, thrown into the fire. All your impurities are showing. And God's like, perfect.
Tori:Let me wipe them away.
Carrie:If I put you back into the fire real quick.
Tori:And then why? So he can see his reflection more beautifully in us. And like, that's the point. We want our kids to see his reflection in us. We wanna model to them the love of the father.
Tori:And we can't do that. And we have all of these impurities still lingering inside of us, all of this sin that hasn't been ringed out yet. And so it's like, wow, God, thank you for showing me that. Like, it's humbling. It's not cute.
Tori:It's not pretty. It's not aesthetic. It doesn't look great. It's not something I wanna post online. Yep.
Tori:But it's real. And thank you for showing me. Thank you for your conviction because it means your holy spirit is active inside of me working, so that I can be a better mom. Like and that's the point. Yeah.
Tori:And so, yeah.
Carrie:That's so good, Tori. Yeah. Thank you so much. You're so filled with wisdom. I'm super, super blessed to have you on and I think your Yeah, mom's gonna be as this was Thank you.
Tori:Let's do it again.