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Who Let Us Adult? is an honest, funny, and unfiltered podcast about trying to navigate adulthood when nobody gave us the instruction manual.
Hosted by Channing and Vanessa, the show explores relationships, family, careers, personal growth, money, responsibilities, and the everyday situations that make us stop and ask, “Who let us adult?”
Each episode brings real conversations, different perspectives, plenty of laughs, and lessons learned through experience. Whether you are figuring life out, starting over, building something new, or simply doing your best to hold everything together, you are not alone.
New episodes release every Tuesday. Watch the full video episodes on YouTube and follow Who Let Us Adult? on social media for clips, conversations, and behind-the-scenes content.
If you paid for honesty, sarcasm, and a little oversharing, you're in the right place. I'm Channing.
Vanessa:And I'm Vanessa. We're figuring things out in real time. Zero express, just opinions. And, honestly, we're still asking. Who Let Us Adult?
Vanessa:Welcome to our podcast. Alright. So this is our first podcast recording of Who Let Us Adult? Who Let Us Adult.
Channing:That's Nick, you're gonna have to go. I can't look at you. Oh.
Vanessa:That's the real question of all questions is who let us adult? But so we want you guys to get to know us. Right? So we're gonna tell a little bit about ourselves, how we became friends, what this podcast is gonna be all about. So, Channing, do you wanna
Channing:You want me to go first?
Vanessa:Yeah. Start us off.
Channing:I need you to ask me some questions. What do you wanna know about me? I didn't didn't come prepared. I know, but I feel like I could ramble on if I
Vanessa:Well, that's okay. Just
Channing:talk about myself.
Vanessa:Just tell us everything. We we want to know.
Channing:Okay. Well, I just turned 30 in April. I graduated college on Saturday with my bachelor's in business management. I got three kids, two from a previous marriage, one with my current and my final marriage because I ain't doing it again. I mean, sports is my life.
Channing:Work, school, kids. Well, not school anymore. Yeah. But work, sports, kids. Yeah.
Channing:That's my main life right now.
Vanessa:Yeah. So where'd you grow up? Where are you from?
Channing:I grew up I'm from Columbia, Tennessee. I moved to Kentucky in fifth grade. My entire family's from here, though. I graduated from John Harden in 2015. Played sports all my life.
Channing:Yeah. Tennessee, Kentucky, little thug, little little country. Got a good little mix. Okay.
Vanessa:So you said you're on your second marriage.
Channing:Uh-huh.
Vanessa:So you were married?
Channing:Previously. I got married at 20. That lasted Short time. From start to finish, two and a half years.
Vanessa:Hey. You win some. You win some.
Channing:But Okay. You know, my current husband met him. I can honestly say he's my soul mate, my best friend.
Vanessa:We love him.
Channing:We love us some Noah. He's patient and kind, and you gotta be patient to deal with someone like me, especially after his week this week dealing with me.
Vanessa:We love you, Noah. We love Noah. Just know that. Just know that.
Channing:Yeah. But my two children that are eight and seven are with my previous marriage, and then my youngest who's two and a half is with Noah. But, yeah, we do good. We co parent good. I have I can give tons of advice co parenting just based on, you know, I come from from a divorced family.
Channing:My parents were divorced. I'm not calling anybody out, but learning the dos and don'ts on what you do when you have to co parent with somebody. Yeah. At the end of day, I just want my kids happy and a healthy, you know, lifestyle growing up, so that's always top priority for me.
Vanessa:Yeah. I feel like you guys do a a good job.
Channing:Yeah. But there's always sometimes a little, you know, bump in the road. But at the end of the day, if we can come back together for what's best for the kids, then
Vanessa:That's all that matters. All that matters. Yeah. Yep. Yeah.
Vanessa:Yep. So
Channing:I'm sure I'll pour out some more tea as time goes on.
Vanessa:Oh, yeah. So okay. So a little bit about me. I born and raised in Kentucky. I've been here my whole life.
Vanessa:In Elizabethtown my whole life.
Channing:I thought you lived in Louisville some.
Vanessa:Well, okay. I moved here when I was five Okay. From Louisville. I mean, I've been here my whole life. So my family's from Louisville, though, and so that's why Okay.
Vanessa:You know? So I was, you know, born and raised in in a town called Ronnieville, Kentucky, backwoods out on the farm. Okay? So, yeah, I I grew up here. I played sports.
Vanessa:I did, you know, all the things that a normal kid does, I guess.
Channing:Graduated from North Harlem? North Hardin.
Vanessa:Yeah. And and that's a whole story in itself too. So we'll we'll save that for a rainy day Yeah. I guess. But, I mean, I graduated and and I started college and figured out that college just wasn't for me.
Vanessa:It just wasn't.
Channing:It ain't for me either.
Vanessa:Yeah. So I went to cosmetology school. I did that. And right after I graduated was right when the economy dropped. Right?
Vanessa:And so people weren't really, like, getting their hair done and spending money on on doing things like that. So, you know, that just wasn't in my deck of cards anymore. Okay? So, you know, I worked still, and, I got married pretty young. I was married at 20, and and I was married for sixteen years.
Vanessa:We had two kids together. So I have two boys. One's 17 and one is eight, and they're complete opposites. They are complete opposites, which, you know but it's always that second kid. Always that
Channing:second kid.
Vanessa:It makes you question If Tee and
Channing:Weyland become best friends, which they like playing to each other. But as they get older, we're have a real problem.
Vanessa:Yeah. They're gonna raise some hell. They are. They're gonna raise hell.
Channing:They are. God.
Vanessa:Oh. And Teegan take care of it.
Channing:Yep. And it's hard to say which one would be the instigator because both of them probably have the same plan in mind.
Vanessa:Probably. Yeah. Yeah. So, so, yeah. So, unfortunately, you know, my husband passed away unexpectedly, and that was very difficult.
Channing:Mhmm.
Vanessa:That was very difficult. Looking back on that, and yes, that was the most traumatic event of my life and the hardest time of my life. But looking back on that, like, you don't realize really how depressed you really are until you kinda get to the other side of that. So looking back now, it's almost kind of scary because I now realize, like, how depressed and and I mean, your whole world is just flipped upside down in in And so, you know, that that was a hard, hard thing. It was really hard.
Vanessa:But, you know, I prayed harder than I probably ever prayed in my entire life. And I really just handed that over to to God. That's the only thing that you could do to to get through that. And then a couple years later, we were out for my birthday, and we met Nikki.
Channing:Can we touch on that, though?
Vanessa:Yeah. Yeah. Let's do
Channing:it. Okay. So originally, Vanessa really wasn't looking to, you know, date. We I was just saying, hey. You know, let's let's be a little bit of a hoe right now.
Channing:You know? Let's have a little fun. You're married for a long time. Nothing serious, but just to get her out of her shell and stuff. Just with everything she's been through.
Channing:So I'm gonna say we had to push for you to give Nick a chance.
Vanessa:Mhmm.
Channing:I was like, you know, just YOLO. Just you row with it. I mean, don't it don't have to be nothing. Just go have the time of your life and the ride of your life.
Vanessa:A ride. He will not survive. And
Channing:here we are.
Vanessa:Yeah. But so so Chidi and I worked together, which is nothing new. We we have worked together at a previous job before this job.
Channing:Or 19? It was before I got
Vanessa:It was right before you got married the first time.
Channing:So I was probably 19. Yeah. I was probably 19.
Vanessa:Yeah. So we worked together.
Channing:My first big girl job.
Vanessa:Yep. Yep. I hired Channing. She was my right hand man for a couple years. And we don't work there anymore.
Vanessa:Nope. We'll just say that.
Channing:We'll just say that. We don't work there anymore.
Vanessa:Yeah. We don't work there anymore. And that's, you know, that's fine. But so, you know, after my husband passed away, you know, I'm I'm trying to live as as normal as possible, you know, right? Like, normal is supposed to be for me now.
Vanessa:And I said, I needed I need a job, right? Because I needed routine and structure and some place to go and be around adults and not just my kids and, you know, things like that. So I basically told our boss now, I will be there on Monday and I'll bring two forms of ID.
Channing:But to touch on the normalcy because you were are a real estate agent too.
Vanessa:Mhmm.
Channing:You were dropping the kids off at school and then going home by yourself all day just to pretty much sulk in your sadness.
Vanessa:Mhmm.
Channing:But not only that too is, you know, with how things happened with him, your kids would not go back into your normal home. You were not staying at your normal home for over a year. Yeah. So really, your whole world was shifted. You couldn't go, you know, to your house because they wouldn't sleep there.
Channing:Mhmm. And then, you know, once the boys got in a normal routine, you would drop them off, going home and sitting by your well, not going home, but going to where you were staying, sitting by yourself all day, pick the boys up, repeat the next day.
Vanessa:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So getting a normal nine to five job was a priority. Mhmm.
Vanessa:Right? Because I needed that for my
Channing:So do think that helped shift where your mindset was?
Vanessa:Yes. Yes. Because it gave me something to look forward to every day.
Channing:Yeah. Right? Mean Must be with me every day.
Vanessa:Yes. Yeah. But but, yes, it it gave me something to, you know, not just do with my time, but it gave me something to dive into and and and, you know, fill some of that void Yeah. You know, that I had. Turns out, I really liked it, right?
Vanessa:Yeah. Like, I really liked my job. And, yeah, it was the best move that I made. So I'm working at this new job. Okay?
Vanessa:Well, Nick also worked at a different job, but we had the same boss. Right? So our boss owns multiple companies. And he was at our building doing some work. Right?
Vanessa:And I said he walked in the front door. I said, I know him from somewhere. I've seen him before. But I was just like, alright. You know?
Vanessa:Whatever. Then I remembered a couple months before that, I got a friend request from and it was Nick. Mhmm. Right? And I had just accepted it because I knew that I knew him from somewhere.
Vanessa:Yeah. Right? Like high school, something like that. So, you know, I accepted it. We never talked to each other.
Vanessa:It was just, like, one of those things. So then I was like, that's that guy.
Channing:Who sent me a Facebook friend request?
Vanessa:Yeah. That sent me a a friend request. You know? So no big deal. I went on about my business.
Vanessa:Well, you know, he was gonna go out with somebody else and that didn't work out. Some somehow or another, we were just, like, messaging on Facebook Messenger a couple of times, not even every day, not every other day. Then came my birthday, and we went to this bar in Brandenburg, and I knew Nick lived in Brandenburg at the time and we walk in and we're like we need some more people to come we need some like we're
Channing:having a good time we need some more people
Vanessa:yeah we need some more people here So I messaged him and was like, hey. I know you live in Brandenburg. We're out here. If you wanna stop by, bring your friends. You know, whatever.
Vanessa:We're just hanging out. Well, he shows up, and the rest is history. Yeah. Yeah. We've been together ever since.
Channing:But isn't that weird how things happen? Yes. You know? And I'm gonna I'm gonna touch back on how I met Noah. So I started dating my previous husband at the age of 16.
Channing:Got married. He I was 16. He was 23. Got married. My husband now was actually at my senior prom with his high school sweetheart.
Channing:We didn't go to the same schools. I'm two and a half years older than him. But he was at my senior prom. He remembers meeting me. I do not remember meeting him.
Channing:Fast forward a couple years later after I had my first son, just going through marriage problems and then, you know, postpartum and everything, I needed something to do. So I decided there was a girls call girls softball league in Brandenburg, and it was one day a week, something I could get out and do. I could take time with my son with me if I wanted to. And got some of my high school girls that I played ball with. We all joined, you know, did this thing.
Channing:Okay. Well, the rules on the paper were 18 and up. Thought this was golden. It was not 18 and up. Here I am, 21, all my 22, 23 year old friends were put on a team with 14 year olds, 13 year olds.
Channing:I'm maybe not 13, but 14, you know, 15. None of them had their license. And I'm thinking, this ain't gonna go over well because you got a bunch of girls that, you know, are on the field, may not have the best mouth and you're partnering with these kids. But Noah was actually my coach because his sister was paired on my team as well as his mom. Well, obviously, I was married.
Channing:Granted, I was having my own issues with my previous husband, but and she'll know who I'm talking about when she we are friends. We talk, but she'll know this is about her when she listens to this because she's so excited for this podcast. She had really liked Noah and had asked me.
Vanessa:Yeah. I remember this.
Channing:She also worked with us at our previous job and wanted to get to know him more. And I was like, I'm like the go getter. I'll set you up. I'll be the person to walk up to him at the bar like I got you. And that was my true intention.
Channing:I was trying to, you know, get them to talk and mingle. And at the time, when I reached out to him, he said he was talking to someone already. And, you know, I let her know that, and one thing kinda led from another one to another. And it didn't start out with wrong intentions. Noah and I just were texting as friends, and then it ended up being a thing where we just ended up we noticed we were talking all day every day.
Channing:But he was kinda like my light at the end of the tunnel because of what I was dealing with at my home life and then him, someone to listen to outside of family and friends. Just someone to vent to and talk to. And he was always just a listening ear and solid advice. And it just led to another. And here we are.
Channing:I mean, if you put it on paper, eight years, think it just hit eight years. I'm not gonna go date dropping just because I probably didn't make the best decisions. I know I didn't make the best decisions leaving my previous marriage. But at the same time, if things were a little bit different, it would have never happened. But yeah.
Channing:No. He's my best friend. We do everything together. Mhmm. Yeah.
Vanessa:He He okay. So before I met Nick, he was my rent a husband. Now let me preference. It was just a saying. Just a saying because I spent a lot of time at Channing's house.
Vanessa:You know, we would sit on the couch and watch movies and, you know, Noah would make us dinner and he is so good, right? And so he would make dinner, he would put it on plates, bring it to us, like, all the things. And I said, Noah, you're my rent a husband. Mhmm.
Channing:And It's been a thing ever since.
Vanessa:Yeah. Yeah.
Channing:It's pretty much
Vanessa:Yeah. We we don't, you know
Channing:do any of that. It's just a thing.
Vanessa:Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's he's he's been there for me too.
Channing:Oh, yeah. Yeah. Because he took Travis' passing hard.
Vanessa:Yeah. Very hard. Yeah.
Channing:Yeah. Yeah. He's he's great dad, the best stepdad I can ever ask for. And my kids don't know a life without him because they were so little when he came in picture. I mean, my daughter was two months old when I officially left, and then my son was a year and a half.
Channing:But I started playing softball when my son was five months old, and he was coming to the game. So really, I mean His whole life. His whole life.
Vanessa:He's been there. Yeah.
Channing:He's been there. But, yeah, no, I couldn't ask for between my previous marriage and my marriage now, it's, like, light it's light and day compared to one another. But, I mean
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:We just I don't we enjoy doing things together. We I never need a break. Like, I wanna go hang out with my friends without you. Like, that's never a thing because we don't I mean, every relationship has their arguments and stuff, but we don't, like, argue. We may spit spat just here and there, but it's never, like, talk down on each other or scream at each other.
Channing:It's a Mhmm. Regroup because if he knows I'm mad, he's gonna talk about it right then and there because he does not like when I'm upset with him. Yeah. Yes. It makes it really does it really does bother him because he's like, no, we're we're figuring this out before we go to bed.
Channing:Yeah. That's him. That's important.
Vanessa:Yeah. That
Channing:is But I've never had anyone like Yeah. Care like that. Like, my previous husband just Oh, didn't you're a man. I I don't care. Yeah.
Channing:Yeah. So be it. If you ain't gonna sleep tonight, you ain't gonna sleep tonight. I don't care where you sleep. I'm going to bed.
Channing:That was pretty much
Vanessa:How it was.
Channing:How it was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No.
Channing:I wouldn't change anything. I actually had this conversation with my mom yesterday because at the end of the day, I mean, I've been through some shit. But I wouldn't go back and change anything because I truly think it made me who I am as a person today, how I mother, how I'm a wife, friend, all the things. Mhmm. So I wouldn't change anything.
Vanessa:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So so yeah. So me and Nick, he came to my birthday and
Channing:yeah been around ever since yeah
Vanessa:he's he's just been part of the picture and then it was like what was it maybe a week or two after my birthday, he was like, have you ever been to New York? And I was like, no. No, I've never been, but I've always And wanted to he was like, well, let's go. And I said
Channing:I remember that phone call.
Vanessa:There was no hesitation, there was no I was just like okay let's book and we literally booked our hotel and booked our flight right then and there on the phone and we get off the phone and I call Channing and I'm like, I'm going to New York and she was like, wait, what? Yeah. And so
Channing:But it's because we had to push, like, for you to step out of your comfort zone. And all of a sudden, hey, I'm going to New York with this guy just to bet. And I'm like, what the fuck just happened?
Vanessa:Yeah. And she's like
Channing:What did I miss? What have you not been telling me?
Vanessa:Yeah. She's like, keep your location on. Like, are you sure you wanna do this? Like Oh. Do you have your own room?
Vanessa:Like and I'm like, no. Like, we're Yeah.
Channing:But even when you were going to visit him, I would check to see how long you were at his place. And if I didn't hear back, I was calling.
Vanessa:Yeah. Yeah.
Channing:She's wrapped up in a rug somewhere and snow it.
Vanessa:Text me. Nick is a good guy.
Channing:Yes. Yes.
Vanessa:Nick is a good guy. He would never never hurt me.
Channing:But But
Vanessa:But, no, I I can understand. I'm grateful that I have friends who who worry about me But, like yeah, so we went to New York, and it was great. It was a it was a good time. It was just like a weekend trip thing. Shortly after that, we moved in together, which was a whole whole thing.
Vanessa:Mhmm. Right? Now, granted, my kids, they had never been around anybody else. Nick was was the only serious Right. Relationship that I had other than their dad.
Vanessa:Right? And so so it was an adjustment. It was an adjustment for everyone involved, but I think we have done very well so far. Yeah. My kids love him, and he loves them, and it's it's good.
Vanessa:Mhmm. It's good. We're gonna
Channing:get
Vanessa:married, and yeah. Which, let's
Channing:talk
Vanessa:about that. You wanna talk about that? Let's touch base. Let's touch base on that. So I said, I wanna get married on the beach.
Vanessa:Right? I wanna get married on the beach. It's gonna be so nice and, you know, whatever. So we started planning the now one thing about Channing is she is a planner. Okay?
Vanessa:Down to the minute.
Channing:I gotta know when what's happening, when it's happening, who's gonna be there Yeah. Where they're standing.
Vanessa:Yeah. Do you have everything? Like, what yeah. She's got it covered. Right?
Vanessa:So I'm like, Jan, we gotta plan this wedding. We gotta, you know, whatever.
Channing:And she asked me this while I I am in my other best friend's I was maid of honor. And as you know, there's a lot of shit that comes with that. And she's asking me while I'm mid like, the wedding was, like, the following weekend type getting bachelorette, you know, doing this and making sure that, you know, she has food, just all the things. And then she's asking me help her. Now what did I tell you?
Channing:I need a break. I need a year off.
Vanessa:Yeah. She said I need a break from everything. So, you know, let let me know in, like, six months or so. And I'm like
Channing:She she said, no. Yeah.
Vanessa:I said, no. No. That ain't gonna work for me. So, you know, so, but we were like, you know, gonna do this big destination wedding and, you know, have friends and family and, you know, we we both have have been married before and had these weddings, then it's just not the vibe anymore. Yeah.
Vanessa:Right? Like, why have this big party
Channing:Mhmm.
Vanessa:For your guest? Right? Now, granted, if you've never been married before or something like that, definitely do it. Yeah. You know, get all the experiences and, you know, whatever.
Vanessa:But after that, it's like been there, done that. Yeah. Yeah. So we about to
Channing:Twice. So
Vanessa:we're about to go to the courthouse.
Channing:Hey, I'm down. That's what I wanted to do. I wanted either just me and Noah go somewhere or do it, come back married. But with me, I had already had the big wedding. Mhmm.
Channing:It's over just like that. Mhmm. If you've never been married for a 100%
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:Have a big wedding. But I didn't wanna have a big second wedding, but he had never been married before. I didn't wanna take it away from his family, his mom. Yeah. You know?
Channing:So we we did the whole shebang.
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:And it was over just like that.
Vanessa:Mhmm. So, you know, we're like, no. We're we're gonna save our money.
Channing:Mhmm.
Vanessa:We're going to go to the courthouse, get married. We'll have a dinner and stuff for family and friends, close family and friends afterwards. But then that's when the party starts because we're going on a cruise.
Channing:We're going on a cruise. We got we're gonna have to time this one out.
Vanessa:We're going on a cruise, but we're gonna invite all of our friends to come with us. Yeah. Right? Hopefully, I'm Don't. Don't.
Channing:You're messing with my plans, Vanessa.
Vanessa:Listen. You I don't care you're going. I don't care either way.
Channing:Okay. I mean, I'll go. I just I
Vanessa:know you'll go. I won't like it, though, because you won't be a good time.
Channing:I know. That my birthday party when I did the nineties thing Yeah. I had just found out I was pregnant.
Vanessa:Mhmm.
Channing:Like, I was, like, four or five weeks.
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:I had this whole hard party plan. And all my friends are like, I'm not used to this. I'm used to being on the damn table Right. Or, you know, twerking. Something's going on.
Channing:But me, no. I was just sitting there, my water, watching everybody else have fun.
Vanessa:Yeah. So I'm gonna need you to pump the brakes.
Channing:Mhmm.
Vanessa:Okay? So that'll happen about March ish. So it's only delaying your timeline by a couple months.
Channing:I'll think about it.
Vanessa:Okay. Think about it because it's gonna be a good time.
Channing:I mean, I'll go.
Vanessa:I know. You'll go, but I'm gonna need you in full effect.
Channing:Okay.
Vanessa:Okay. Just think about it and let me know.
Channing:Okay. I'm down. I'm down.
Vanessa:Yeah. So but, yeah. I mean, that's that is my life. Yeah. Yeah.
Channing:But it's kinda hard to sit and ramble about your life when you've been when each of us have been through so much. It's kind of like, well, what do you wanna know? Like, I mean, I'll tell you anything you wanna know. You just gotta Yeah. Ask me the or the fuck.
Channing:Do I start?
Vanessa:Yeah. Yeah. Because we've been through some shit.
Channing:Yeah. I mean, 19. I'm 30 now.
Vanessa:I'm not gonna disclose my
Channing:And through a lot of shit, we there's an age difference between us.
Vanessa:Yeah. There is. There is.
Channing:There is.
Vanessa:But, you know, age is just a number. Age is just a number. I fully believe that you're only as old as you feel. Yeah. And I'm not gonna lie.
Vanessa:I still feel about 23, 24.
Channing:Do you think so? Oh, yeah.
Vanessa:I still get hurted sometimes.
Channing:I wish I could be, like, 27, 28 and just stay. Yeah. But then a lot of people told me thirties is your prime time.
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:But I don't know.
Vanessa:I mean, you know, life's what you make it.
Channing:Yeah. I I think, honestly, my biggest fear is I forget as I get older everyone around me is aging as well.
Vanessa:Mhmm.
Channing:And there has been a lot of death in my life just between people around me, losing people young, you know, family members, all kinds of stuff. I fear a life without my kids. And as Yeah. Me getting older, like, if me not being here or something happening to me because I listen. And I'm not saying a father's love is any less, but I tell my husband all the time.
Channing:There ain't nobody else in this world that's gonna love my children like I love my children.
Vanessa:Mhmm.
Channing:I mean, I'm worrying constantly and when I turned 30, that was just in the back of my head, like, oh, my gosh. Mhmm. Next thing you know, I'm gonna be 60. Yeah. Like, look how fast thirty years flew
Vanessa:by. Yeah. Yeah.
Channing:And then I just think of all the things that are gonna happen and this and that. I just that that was scaring me. I think that's why I didn't wanna turn 30. Everybody else is, you're turning 30? I'm like, nah, man.
Channing:I just fear something happening to me.
Vanessa:Yeah. No, I think that that is a valid fear. I have that fear. Yeah. Right?
Vanessa:Mine is for a different reason. You know, my kid's father has passed away, and I'm all they got. Right? I'm all that they got. And so my fear is something happening to me, and not being there for them.
Channing:Yeah.
Vanessa:Yeah. So I get it. It's a valid it's a valid fear.
Channing:Yeah. It's a scary thought. And I would say before I had kids, death didn't scare me. It didn't. Right.
Channing:Until they came in the picture.
Vanessa:Yeah. Yeah. And for me, honestly, like, death isn't death in itself is not scary to me. Mhmm. It is leaving my kids.
Channing:Yeah. Who's gonna be there to watch out for them, take care of them?
Vanessa:Yeah. Because no one loves them like their mama.
Channing:Yep. All the things. And I don't care what daddy says. Yeah. It ain't true.
Vanessa:Yeah. You know? But then too, it all happens so fast. Mhmm. Right?
Vanessa:Like, I think about it now. Like, my oldest is 17. He's gonna graduate high school next year. Like, this is his last year of high school. And I tell him, on a regular basis, do everything.
Vanessa:Right? Yep. Do everything. Do all the sports, Do all the clubs. Hang out with your friends.
Vanessa:Do all the things.
Channing:Mhmm.
Vanessa:Because once it's over, it's over.
Channing:It's over.
Vanessa:Yeah. And and, you know, it's it's the funnest time of your life.
Channing:But then you don't even remember. Like, I don't even like, I mean, of course, I remember, you know, I was in FFA, all the sports, and I didn't have to work till I was 18 because I did play sports. Mhmm. But it seems like such a different life.
Vanessa:Mhmm.
Channing:Like, kinda like a previous life. It just it's kinda like me, like, I don't remember life without kids. Yeah. You know? It's just I'm I'm just always needed.
Channing:I don't I don't know remember a time where I was not needed.
Vanessa:Yeah. So I
Channing:don't know. It's just crazy.
Vanessa:It's just crazy. Y'all be prepared because when when Westin I'm gonna be crying. I'm gonna be crying. I mean
Channing:But the good news is he's not leaving either. He's gonna, you know, stay around here
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:Because we've had those conversations.
Vanessa:He's not gonna leave his mama.
Channing:No. No.
Vanessa:Yeah. I mean, he
Channing:asked Ty what he wants to be, he's gonna live with me, be a pro baseball player, he's want five Lamborghinis and where his mama don't have to work no more.
Vanessa:Take care of
Channing:your mama. Solid. Yeah. Solid. I was like, yeah, you can live with me as long as you want.
Channing:I
Vanessa:don't Yeah. I know. And and I go back and forth with that too. Like, I know that I have to let him go. I have to let him live his life.
Vanessa:I have to you know, even sometimes I have to let him make mistakes and learn. But it it's hard. It's hard to, you know, sit back and do that. And don't get me started on girlfriends. Don't get me started on those girlfriends.
Channing:We haven't hit the ten years yet. I'm I'm eight and under.
Vanessa:I know.
Channing:Right
Vanessa:now. It's coming. So
Channing:coming. Don't fear Ty. No. I don't fear Ty. No.
Channing:Because right now, he don't
Vanessa:Teegan's gonna beat up her boyfriend. You know that.
Channing:We're be working on jail time, keeping her out of jail. I don't even know. I can't even think about it because she already stresses me out, and she's safe.
Vanessa:We love Tegan. We love her and her stories. She keeps us on our toes.
Channing:Well, the other day, and I don't know if I told you about this, she has a problem with not wanting to wear underwear right now. And I don't care if if she's going to bed, she puts on pajamas after a shower or goes to bed. Right? Well, I've started to have to check her. Like, if I lay her clothes out to get her dressed and she gets dressed, she's not putting on her underwear.
Channing:Well and I don't know why. It's just tea and I don't girl. Yes. So Noah dropped her off at the office at, like, 04:30 the other day because there was baseball practice. And Tegan always looks like a hot mess.
Channing:I don't you if you dress her, curl her hair, bow in, five minutes later, she's got a stain on her shirt, her bow's out. That's just how she is. So she comes up in my office looking like a hot mess. I said, Tegan, come here. I gotta pull your britches up.
Channing:Well, she didn't have no underwear on. I said, Tegan, you ain't got no damn underwear on. She said, well, mom, it's kinda like, you know, you wear a bra every day. That's your thing. You your thing to wear a bra.
Channing:Underwear is not my thing. Yeah. And I'm like, I can't even argue with you. Yeah. But it's just constant.
Vanessa:Had a good time with Tegan.
Channing:She's a mess. Yeah. She's bold.
Vanessa:Mhmm.
Channing:But I wouldn't change her. No. No. I mean, I might just survive raising her, but I wouldn't
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:Change her because I know I don't have to worry about nobody
Vanessa:Messing with her.
Channing:Messing with her.
Vanessa:Yeah. No one's gonna
Channing:mess you up. Mhmm. Mhmm.
Vanessa:Funny stories.
Channing:She's gonna talk about your mama and everything.
Vanessa:So so our kids go to the same school and they go to a small private school that is like preschool all the way to graduation. So at the beginning of the school year, my oldest son is changing classes, okay? And I guess he had to go outside to go to a different building to his new class for that hour. And he said, I'm just gonna let you know I saw Tegan on the playground today. Oh, okay.
Vanessa:You know, did you say hi to your brother? You know? He was like, look, she done grabbed some kid and just body slammed him to the ground on the playground, like, the first week of school.
Channing:Yeah. And she was in kindergarten last year.
Vanessa:Yes. Yeah. I don't remember why she said she did it. Do you remember why?
Channing:No. No. Because if you ask her, it didn't happen.
Vanessa:Yeah. But she did.
Channing:Somebody seen you and called me.
Vanessa:Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's just things like that. Teeing Teeing keeps you on your toes. Oh, yeah.
Vanessa:Mhmm.
Channing:I love her.
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:Praise be.
Vanessa:What what's the other one?
Channing:Oh, no. Not gonna
Vanessa:Under his eye.
Channing:Under his eye.
Vanessa:Under y'all watch Handmaid Tales?
Channing:Oh, man.
Vanessa:Well, well, we were so one of mine and Nick's guilty pleasures, I guess, is watching documentaries and getting, like, hooked in these series of, you know, shows or, you know, whatever. So we watched Handmaid Tales, right? All the way through. And it was like every night we're like, you ready to go watch Handmade Tales? Yeah.
Vanessa:I had a hard time
Channing:turning it off. Yeah. I would stay up
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:And watch it.
Vanessa:Yeah. It was good. It was good.
Channing:It took me an episode or two to get into it because I didn't understand what was going on. And then I finally, you know, pieced everything together. Yeah. But yeah.
Vanessa:Have you watched, though, the follow-up to that? It's on Netflix, or it might be who one of the two. And it's called, like, the commandment or
Channing:The commander maybe?
Vanessa:Something like that. Something like that. But, anyway, so it is, like, years later. Okay, they're still doing the same thing. Some of the like, June and the the teacher Mhmm.
Vanessa:Lady, is in there, and and they're training and bringing up another group of girls.
Channing:No. I need to watch them.
Vanessa:Yeah. It's so good. And it's only I think it's only 10 episodes Yeah. Right now. I watched all of them in, like
Channing:Yeah.
Vanessa:A day.
Channing:Well, you need to watch that one I just finished. That was 16 episodes of
Channing:Yeah.
Channing:Divorced Sisters, my sisters, by Tyler Perry. Sisters. But anything Tyler Perry makes is Yeah. Solid. It's usually pretty good.
Channing:Did you watch that nemesis show?
Vanessa:I didn't. I watched, like, maybe one and a half episodes, and I just couldn't get into I couldn't
Channing:Me and Noah loved it.
Vanessa:I couldn't get into it.
Channing:Yeah. We loved it.
Vanessa:Now, when I was when we were at your house that day, you know, what
Channing:We were toward the end, though.
Vanessa:Yeah. And what we were watching, I mean, it it looked good. And I was like, yeah, let's go home and and start this.
Channing:You need to give it. You need to I
Vanessa:should Push through. Yeah. Maybe I need to give it a few episodes. Yeah. Yeah.
Vanessa:But we watch all the crime documentaries. All of them.
Channing:I watch them here and there depending on who they are. I don't know. No one and I watch a lot of the same shows. He's one of those if I if we watch a show and I watch it without him,
Vanessa:it gets a little salty. He does? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Vanessa:Yes. Nick does too. He's like but but that's kind of like our thing that, you know, we do together every night.
Channing:In the evening, that's our that's our Us time.
Vanessa:We'll sit, watch a good show. Yeah. That's what we do. We're like, you ready to to go snuggle?
Channing:Yeah. Okay. But let let's talk about this. I got I got to turn a little bit to you.
Vanessa:Okay. Tell me.
Channing:Okay. Love language.
Vanessa:Okay. I'm I
Channing:me and my husband do not have the same love language. Okay? I I can be depending on my mood, but I'm not a lovey dovey. I am with my children. Mhmm.
Channing:Snuggle, kiss on them, you know, twenty four seven. They probably get tired of it. But I'm not a, like, have to sit and hold your hand or, you know, things like that. That's not who I am. Now my husband, he's the type, when he walks in from work, he wants a hug, give you a kiss.
Channing:Well, how was your day today, honey? Mid I got a kid screaming. I'm trying to wash dishes, whatever the case may be, and he wants to have a full blown conversation about how my day went. Now, I didn't have a husband like that prior, so I'm glad that he wants to come in Right. And, you know, acknowledge me and, you know, have a conversation.
Channing:And then, you know, he says, well, you never, you know, sit in the car and just hold my hand. I said, you always hold my hand. He goes, yeah, but you don't, like, initiate
Vanessa:it. Okay.
Channing:I said, I just don't think about it, man. I'm just riding in the car. I'm listening to music. That's him. He just wants
Vanessa:Affection.
Channing:Affection. Like touch. Yeah. Me showing love is, you know, you have clean underwear folded in your drawer. Okay?
Channing:You know, your deodorant runs out and it just magically appears the next day.
Vanessa:Yeah. I get it.
Channing:You know, I pay attention to those things and I I get it without him having to, you know, say anything. That's the house is clean like I
Vanessa:Mhmm.
Channing:He says I'm a little bit anal, but he does say he's appreciative that he doesn't have to worry about living in a messy house because Facts. That
Vanessa:Yeah. That's
Channing:not how yeah. It ain't gonna fly with
Vanessa:me. So
Channing:I I don't know. Do y'all have the same love language or the same? Like
Vanessa:I'm not gonna say that we have the same, but we're both in tune with what each others are.
Channing:Yeah.
Vanessa:Does that make sense? Yeah. Nick is is very much, I like how you describe Noah. You know, he wants to hold my hand in the car. He wants to, you know, ask about my day, give me a kiss, you know, when we Yeah, you know.
Vanessa:And I am very much of the things that I do Mhmm. Is an expression of my wealth, right? Keeping the house clean, doing the laundry, doing the groceries, you know, things like that.
Channing:No, I don't go no grocery.
Vanessa:I know. I know.
Channing:She cooks.
Vanessa:I know. But now me I mean, me and Nick, we we're pretty fifty fifty on that. And if I cook, he cleans. If he cooks, I clean type deal. Yeah.
Channing:I mean, I'll help. I'll clean the kitchen and stuff.
Vanessa:But but I think the important part is knowing what each other's Yeah. What language are.
Channing:Yeah. I know it. I just need to do a better job.
Vanessa:Doing that. Yeah. Yeah.
Channing:Yeah. But I'm just not gonna let you move all the time. Mhmm. I'm not mad at nobody. I just
Vanessa:Yeah. You got a lot going on.
Channing:You I When I sit down on the couch, I like my little space, you know, but I run a lot during the day and I'm constantly handling things on the back end that a lot of people don't see. So by the time I get home and you know, whether it's practice, you know, doing homework, you know, whatever the case may be Mhmm. When I sit on the couch, that's my time to decompress. Mhmm. And then Noah's, why are you sitting on the opposite side of the couch?
Channing:And I'm like, gosh. Damn. I'm a get up, move over here. You want me to put my feet on you?
Vanessa:Now I usually just
Channing:put my feet on him, he'll rub my feet. And we'll just sit there and watch TV that I could've done on the other side of
Vanessa:the couch. But see, now I will say, like, Nick and I, like, we're snuggles. We're we're snuggling.
Channing:Yeah.
Vanessa:Okay?
Channing:No. I roll
Vanessa:over All the time. We're we're we're touching at all times. Yeah. But I take when I get home every day, right, because I need that decompressed time, I literally go to my bedroom and decompress for a good solid thirty minutes every day. And everyone in my house knows is when I get home, that is what that's the first thing that I'm gonna do, unless I have somewhere else I have to be here, you know, whatever.
Vanessa:But, yeah, I need that. I gotta
Channing:Yeah.
Vanessa:You know, whatever, clear clear my mind, you know, all the Yeah. All the things. And then I go about
Channing:But most days, I don't get that luxury because if we have practice or Yeah. You know, a lot of times we're rolling in 07:30, 08:00, sometimes later, and it's okay. We gotta bath, get things ready for the next day, throw in a load of laundry, dinner. It's just Yeah.
Vanessa:Go. Go. Go.
Channing:It's go. Go. Go. So upon time, when I do get to sit down and decompress, it's once everything's done.
Vanessa:Right. And your kids are embedded
Channing:in But he understands that because we talk about it a lot. I mean, we have a lot of him and I can sit and have a conversation about, you know, how we're feeling or what we're doing, and there's no judgment or yelling or getting mad. It's kind okay. Like, I hear you.
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:I I know what I need to do or Yeah. You know, vice versa.
Vanessa:Yeah. I mean Yeah. I mean, and and Nick and I, like like, we're we're pretty in tune with, you know, with each other. I can, you know, kinda pick up if if he's having, like, an off day and vice versa. Yeah.
Vanessa:We just yeah. We just balance each each other Yeah. Really good. We communicate really good. Know, and we have fun.
Vanessa:And, you know, we tell each other all the time, like, you really are like my best friend. And I think that that is the most important.
Channing:100%.
Vanessa:Right? Like, we enjoy going and doing things together. You know, we have certain things that we do together. I mean, even if it is me tagging along with him at Home Depot, right? Like, we have fun doing that.
Vanessa:We just enjoy each other's company.
Channing:Yeah. So Yeah. No. That's that's very very important because at the end of the day, eventually, your kids are gonna be out of your house, it's back to you two again. But I mean, me and Noah do a good job on, you know, we have date nights and Yeah.
Channing:Yeah. But there's never been a time like when we go plan to do something like we wanna do it with each other. Like, I couldn't I mean, I have been in a marriage like that where I do need a break or I'd rather go without them, but there's we just I don't we just mesh together. Mhmm. So well.
Vanessa:Yeah. Your friend. Your your best friend.
Channing:But we were we started out as friends Mhmm. Because I wasn't going and looking for anything. It literally just one thing just fell into another. Like, we were friends and then talking all day every day, then we realized, like, woah, like, there's some feelings, you know, coming up. Because for the most part, I mean, it was just me and Ty.
Channing:Like, I
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:I don't know. And and I don't wanna, like, bash him because we have a good relationship, bitch, but it's a lot different. Yeah. A lot different.
Vanessa:Yeah. It's healthy. Yeah. And it's what it should be.
Channing:Yeah. I mean, it was a a culture shock at first because I kept waiting, and he had to call me out on it because I was waiting for him to mess up. Yes. Just Okay. Nobody's this nice all the time.
Channing:Nobody wants to wait on me hand and foot like this. Like, things I had begged for prior Mhmm. Begged and begged for, cried, preached, and this is what I need was never given. And you got someone who's coming in, taking care of two kids that he didn't create with no issue, no questions asked, and he's doing everything. Yeah.
Channing:And then finally, after a year and a half, he was like because I was hard on him. I was. I mean, the second I mean, I'd pop off and he was finally like, listen, I feel like the roles are reversed now. I feel like, you know, you're like
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:But he had to do that to let me know, like, hey. Like, I understand you went through x, y, and z Mhmm. But I'm not
Vanessa:You're he's not that person.
Channing:Not this person. So and he's, I mean, eight years later, and he ain't he's still
Vanessa:Yeah. And, again, we love our Noah.
Channing:Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't have to question him or
Vanessa:Mm-mm.
Channing:No. Like, Yeah. I know. I know what's up.
Vanessa:That's right. I know it. That's right. No one knows what's up, too. Yep.
Vanessa:Yeah. Okay. So let's talk a little bit about things that we want to bring to the podcast. Right? So obviously, we can chat all day.
Channing:Mhmm.
Vanessa:Right? Some chatty Kathy's right here. But we also want to incorporate our audience and our viewers. So we have a phone line where our viewers can call in and wave a voice mail. The voice mail is completely anonymous, but it will be played Yes.
Vanessa:In the podcast. So make sure, if you don't want anyone to know, you don't name drop, don't don't do anything like that, but you can call you can give us the tea because we're always wanting the tea okay I don't want to tea today? Yeah I don't want to be involved in the tea but I
Channing:just want know
Vanessa:I just want to know Ask advice. Tell us, you know, stories. Tell us, you know, things that you want to hear about, topics that, you know, you maybe want to interact with us on. You know, we're going to bring some guests on and, do a couple of things and it's going be a good time.
Channing:It's going be a good time.
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:Yeah.
Vanessa:Yeah. So I think we should wrap this up with maybe a sneak peek, if you will Okay. Of a voicemail that
Channing:Okay.
Vanessa:That we received. It's it's a good one. It's a good one.
Channing:It's a good one. And I will say we have not shared our thoughts and opinions on it with each other.
Vanessa:Right. Yes. What Save it for
Channing:the podcast.
Vanessa:That's right. We save it all for the podcast. So what we're gonna do, I think, we'll play the voicemail, but we're not gonna give our opinions or advice or answer questions or whatever, until our next episode.
Channing:Okay.
Vanessa:What do you think?
Channing:That should have been our theme song, the next episode with doctor Dre.
Channing:Hi, Channing and Vanessa. I'm calling in because I need some major, major advice. So my roommates and I might be in a little bit of a situation. So just to give you a little backstory, so I'm I'm a gay man, and so I met this guy on a dating app. And so we, you know, started to get to know each other in every sense of the word.
Channing:And he but he is not out at all, like, very, very closeted. And so we would, you know, hook up in, his car or my car or something like that, but never, like, went to each other's places or anything
Vanessa:I like can't see
Channing:But I
Channing:didn't want him to know where I lived, and he didn't want me to know where he lived. So so it was always, you know, just some fun stuff, and the car, blah blah blah. And so fast forward, so my roommate, Anais, she and I have been friends for years. Like, she was even one of the first people I came out to. And so we've been friends for years.
Channing:And so I'm sitting in the living room one night and just watching TV, and she had been on a date with with a guy that she met on a dating app or whatever. And so the front door opens. She walks in, and the man who is behind her is the guy that I've been hooking up with.
Vanessa:Hell no.
Channing:So he was You behind would have thought, like, he she didn't see his face, but you would have thought he he had seen a ghost when he laid eyes on me. And so I just started, like, smiling and low key laughing because I'm like, this cannot be happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. And so she the he he ends up leaving.
Channing:We didn't talk to each other. We didn't say anything to each other. When she introduced him, I acted like I'd never seen this man before in my life, and he acted like he had never seen me. So we didn't even talk to each other because when we were hooking up, he got scared, you know, because we were getting close, and so he didn't want that. So he ended up, like, just ghosting me.
Channing:And so now we're steady we're in the same place together because he has gone on a date with my roommate who is a girl. I so
Vanessa:have no questions.
Channing:I don't know what to do because she seems to really have liked him, and they said to have her on a great time. But do I tell her, or do I let him tell her? How do I move forward with this?
Channing:There you have it.
Vanessa:That's wild. That's That is wild. That's wild.
Channing:That's some shit I like to hear, though.
Vanessa:Yeah. That's the tea we're talking about. But, yeah, we're gonna end on that note. Mhmm. We're gonna gather our thoughts because that was that was That
Channing:was a lot to take in.
Vanessa:Yeah. That was a lot to take in.
Channing:And we like to look from all angles, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's perspective.
Vanessa:Yeah. So next week Mhmm. Or the next episode, we will talk about it.
Channing:Talk about it? Elaborate?
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:Drop some I love it, Nick.
Vanessa:Just love it. Yeah. So yeah. That's it? Yeah.
Vanessa:That's it. That's all
Channing:And this was mainly just, like, an intro, just who we are, what we're gonna do, what we can give advice on now that you know a little bit of our background. But
Vanessa:Yeah. So now that we've we've listened to the the voice mail, we have the tea, we are gonna discuss this next week, but we wanna know what you guys think too. So how would you handle this situation? What would you do if you were, you know, the guy that, you know
Channing:You know.
Vanessa:Got walked in and seen a guy that you were with a couple weeks ago. Uh-huh. Know?
Channing:And then with a girl.
Vanessa:Yeah.
Channing:We wanna know what you want, what you know, what you think. So drop it in the comments below.
Vanessa:Yep. And so that's gonna end this episode and take us, on to the next one. So that is I'm Vanessa.
Channing:And I'm Channing.
Vanessa:And this is Who Let Us Adult. Let's go.