Feeling the pressure to always win? Join JClay and Troy Washington as they explore the magic of "Perfect Mode" in their latest episode, revealing why "The Gift of Losing" may just be the key to your success. Don't miss out on this eye-opening dive into embracing failure - your future may depend on it!
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Creators & Guests
What is Perfect Mode?
"Perfect Mode" invites you on a transformative odyssey to discover the extraordinary within the ordinary. Hosted by the dynamic duo of JClay, a rapper with a spiritual twist, and Troy Washington, a realtor with a mindset of abundance, this podcast is a sanctuary for those seeking to elevate their existence. Together, they explore the realms of personal growth, mental clarity, and spiritual enlightenment, offering unfiltered insights into living a life unchained by societal expectations. Tune in for your weekly dose of inspiration and embark on a journey to align with your highest self.
If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect welcome to perfect where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations. I'm J Clay, rapper, a spiritual teacher, with my co host Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real. So let's be perfect.
JClay:Anything. Perfect. Everything. Anything. Anything.
JClay:Anything. Perfect. Everything. Anything. Anything.
JClay:Perfect. Everything. Anything. Anything.
JClay:Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
Troy Washington:What up? What up? What up? Welcome to perfect mode. And first off, let me start by telling y'all that we love y'all.
Troy Washington:We're grateful for the opportunity to be anywhere, sharing our thoughts, hopefully, and helping you realize that you are perfect. And the reason why I can say that unapologetically is because I know that you are one of 1 numero uno. You cannot be replicated, duplicated. And the only reason, Jay, the only reason you would say that you're not perfect is if you're looking at the person next to you and saying, I'm not them. But guess what?
Troy Washington:You are you, and that's all you need. And, of course, it's yours truly, Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. And I have my boy, Jay Clay, spiritual rapper and teacher, and we're about to jump on here and talk about the gift of losing, the gift of losing. What up, Jay?
JClay:Losers. Yo. Yo. Happy day. Happy Sunday.
JClay:This perfect day with all my perfect people, all the perfect people tuning in, everything. And, yeah, man, it's it's another beautiful day for us to recognize the perfection of ourselves and others, and just just step into it no matter the situation, no matter the loss or the win associated with it, and and let's get
Troy Washington:it. Yeah. So yeah. No. I'm with you, man.
Troy Washington:Regardless of the loss or the win and recognizing that the loss is the win, it Yeah. Be here. That's where we wanna go. But when I first saw this, man, the the funny thing is, it it it's tough because I don't feel because of my mindset, I don't feel like I'm ever losing anymore.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:But I get it, though. Right? Because there are moments of me projecting the future, anticipating a loss even though I know that I I never lose. And that's what's funny here. But when I first saw this, when I first looked at at this, I thought to myself, like, man, way to refocus myself and get myself on track in all aspects and not just the ones that I'm, having the forefront of my mind.
Troy Washington:But what what you got, Jay?
JClay:Yeah. It's a few things. So it's it's in all walks. Like even sometimes people feel like they lose someone. And even in in that sense, there's a gift, but then also just when losing, like, games, certain things.
JClay:We got elections coming up. You know, people get divided in that. And no matter the outcome, like, there's a gift in the loss as well that we don't always focus on, and it can kinda get us to to self implode because we we see this this loss as like another thing and these losses compound. And then we we stop wanting to even win because it's like, I don't wanna do this. It's gonna be a loss.
JClay:And there's a way to to reframe it and see the get like, the gift that's that's in the act of losing so much so that you won't be afraid to lose, which means you won't be afraid to try new things and and put yourself out there to, to have new things or just to have new experiences.
Troy Washington:So so funny enough, I live this on a weekly basis. That's what's funny about it. Because me being a coach and, you know, we don't win every game. You know what I mean? Like and just having to peel out the good in moments when people ready or willing to see any good in the situation.
Troy Washington:And, it's funny that every time that we take a loss, there's always a lot of emotions that's running through my mind or going through my body, and and I'm thinking, okay. Once we shake hands with the other team, what am I gonna say to these boys? Yeah. And, you know, more often than not, the the message always kinda rounds about the same way. But just in it, I think that's key.
Troy Washington:What I'm trying to get to is being able to look at the details. So where I cannot do a full recap of a game and point out every single thing that's good, being able to highlight some things in a loss and remind us that, you know, a part of this loss was a part of this a part of having the loss is important so that way we could have grown in the areas that we wanted to grow in. But go but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Even similar to that, like, you know, I played basketball on Sundays. And, earlier today, like, I I lost 2 games. And even in that, like, it led to me having the best game I ever had where we did get the win at the end before I left. But I had already thought about the topic, the gift of losing, just because, like, I realized so much about our loss.
JClay:And not only that, like, in in other situations where I've let the illusion of loss stop me from doing certain things or stop me from pursuing certain things. And I'm trying to think of a of a good example to give how how losses are win. So okay. Number one is recognize the game that you're playing. And and this is very important.
JClay:Like, everybody has a a game within the game. You might wanna be a better person. You might want to, be more forgiving, be more cheerful, be more wealthy, be more fit, be more have more friends. Like, whatever your game is, keep that in mind. So, like, you might take an act to move toward that game.
JClay:You might say, alright. I'm gonna I'm gonna reach out to some podcast to see if they need a new guest and, you know, something about that. But then they might all say, no. Know your game. Like, your game is not necessarily to be a podcast person.
JClay:Your game is to be whatever below that that led you to even try to be on someone's podcast. I know that's just a mild example, but it's it's it's so important to always keep in mind, like, your your your purpose that you're going for, in in any action because it shapes the actions that you're that you take.
Troy Washington:I I definitely agree, and I say it it helps ignite the passion. And funny enough, just to kinda give you an example from my standpoint, I coach, you know, my older kid, but I'm I'm talking about my small kid. So that means, I have a 6 year old, but he's playing up right now. He's playing with 7 8 year olds. Now mind you, we just came out of a soccer season where we did not lose a game.
Troy Washington:We beat everybody there. Simultaneously, we had 2 basketball seasons, 1 at Fieldhouse and 1 at the YMCA, in which we won every single game. We didn't lose any game in basketball basketball or soccer for two and a half, three months. And so all of these kids, we try to keep together so that way whenever the season comes back, we kinda have some kind of continuity. So we all said, let's go ahead and play football.
Troy Washington:So we got our whole basketball team out, and we're playing up again. We're playing in 7 8 years because we're trying to introduce our kids to the speed of the kids that's older than them. And so we played our 1st football game this weekend, and we lost. And, you know, I just use my kid as as an example. He was devastated.
Troy Washington:Like, he was just, like, he he does not like to lose because we don't he don't feel that out there. Right? Now the funny part is lost, right when it happened, when we were having to walk across the field or shake the other kids' hands, because I was so I I I was able to, I guess, receive the loss in a way that was beneficial. And the reason why I say that is because I immediately start thinking of things to do in our next game. I immediately start thinking of plays to run or or I see the older kids are able to do this, so maybe these younger kids can do this if we just introduce it to them now.
Troy Washington:But even so much so, before I could get out the parking lot, the other coach was texting me like, hey, Troy. I got these ideas, and I got this, and I got this. And then a parent text me later and was like, man, Troy, man, I I don't wanna step on the toes, but, hey. I got this. And the reason why I bring all these things in is because there is a certain amount of growth that there is opportunity for because of us not taking this loss the wrong way.
Troy Washington:And so if we go and hang our heads, we kinda it's there's a there's a high probability that we revisit the following week the same way that we did this current week. But because we looked at it as an opportunity, we looked at it as, okay. This is what we can do. It changed changed the whole dynamic of everything. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and and I love that because even in that sense, like, if you always win, you it's possible you might learn the wrong lessons, and and become cocky in certain ways that you necessarily shouldn't be. And then when when you finally get a loss at the at the biggest stage because you kept winning, winning, winning, you might not know how to handle it. Like, it it might be foreign to you. You could fold under the pressure because you've been so used to winning, winning, winning, and you finally get this loss.
JClay:You don't know how to handle it. But but like you said, everyone was able to rally around that loss and say, you know what? We can get better. I I I didn't do everything I could to prepare for this. I didn't, I didn't set I didn't set myself in a position to win.
JClay:But I but but, again, you won't know that until you really put yourself out there to even play the game. So that's the first well, yeah, I would even say that's the first rule. Play the game first. And then if you lose, you know, you can can reassess, but at least getting in the game. What whatever whatever game you wanna get in, get in the game and stop watching from the sidelines when you know that it's a game you wanna play.
Troy Washington:So so shout out to my my brother who's an attorney. His name, Albert Roberts. And, one of the things that he always say to the kids is, if we don't take no shots, we're not gonna make no shots. But, also, just to the point that you made about how people rallied around the the circumstances, you know, in this show, The Gift of Losing, I think that's what I'm trying to convey is that you need to rally around yourself first. Because even in my story, you know, before we went to go shake hands, my mind was already running, but it was running on a positive note, on a, on a moving forward kind of meant, you know, momentum.
Troy Washington:And that's because I was rallying around myself and saying that the way that this happened this week, it won't happen like this again. It doesn't mean that we won't lose, but I know that there is so much opportunity for how much better my kids can be next week.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:And, you know, when we look at ourselves and we're actually going into things, like you said, whether it's a loss of a person, a loss of a job, a loss of an activity, we, a lot of times, don't rally around ourselves to understand the try to understand if there is a benefit for us on the other end of it. And I think that, you know, just starting to rally around ourselves whenever we hit any hiccup, no matter what that is, is important. But go ahead.
JClay:Yeah. And I'm sure we all heard this story of Thomas Edison. I don't know if it's true, but they said, like, he failed, like, a 1000 times or 10000 times before he created the light bulb. And and, again, like, that's that's a lot of losses if if that is true. But at the same time, he was probably thinking, okay.
JClay:I tried this. This is not gonna work. I tried this. Let me try this now. Okay.
JClay:Okay. I'm getting closer. I'm getting there. I know a little bit more about what might work or why this didn't work, and you're getting closer to it because he remembered his game. Like, his game was, I'm going to find a way for this to work.
JClay:And in that, I need to eliminate the way that don't work. And and and that's what we need to do. Like like, even in in your would you would you explain with coaching, you said, okay. What we just did, it didn't work or at least didn't work with this team. So we face another team of this caliber.
JClay:We have to at least be prepared with x y z. And it it made y'all better, made y'all stronger people, better people, more versatile, as long as you get the lesson by remembering your core of what you want out of it. Because, again, like, some people might just wanna play. They don't care if they wanna lose. They just wanna play.
JClay:And in that, they're they're winning. And and that's cool, but know your game.
Troy Washington:No. No. I I I 100% agree. And, you know, again, to that same sentiment about, rallying around yourself, for each individual person, it is important for you to know your game and not get lost, in the the mindset or the goals of other people unless you want to have that combined success, which every like you say, everybody's everybody you're right. Everybody on my team is not playing to win.
Troy Washington:Some kids are just playing so that way they could develop. But the beautiful part about me rallying around my cause, again, is the fact that I can satisfy potentially everybody else's because I'm rallying around myself. And, you know, that's it's one of those things they say, rising tide, where they say lifts our boats or, you know, if you if you go up, if you're if you're understanding what the benefit is in any situation for you, it's also in is beneficial to everybody else that's associated with you, because you become a better person. And I think that's idea here, but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and this, there is a a fascination of winning, over losing because, you know, like, in in certain instances, we exalt the winners when when really, like, in competition, it's one winner to, like, 100 of losers or something like that. But but again, they're they're not losers because unless they just quit and say, I'm I'm never gonna do this again, and then they accept defeat. But each of them, they develop their game more or develop themselves more so that they can reach that spot. And the the problem with being so fixated, though, on on winning and and and shunning losing is that it traps you from even trying.
JClay:Like, you're you're you're kinda like, okay. If I'm not gonna be able to win or do this and be the best at this, I don't even wanna do it. And in doing that, you're missing out on so many opportunities to have fun, so many opportunities to bond with others, so many opportunities to just have the time of your life and add more joy to it when you're afraid to do things just because you never did it before or you don't think you can succeed. Shout out to to my, to my mom. They they're about to get a house built, and I I she's never gotten a house like that before.
JClay:And she's like, well, what do I do? What kind of questions do I ask? Like, I don't know. But you did it before. Yeah.
JClay:We didn't know what we're doing. I was just signing some stuff. It worked out. If it didn't, I'll roll with the punches. And but but she knows is this how this how I was raised.
JClay:This is what they instilled in me as well. And they they still went through anyway, which is which is great. But, yeah, don't be afraid of what you don't know. Like, just if you if you if it doesn't work out, it just doesn't work out. Learn from it and keep going.
Troy Washington:I I like to think about basketball players in this instance, like, you know, again, you can say Michael Jordan, you can say Kobe Bryant. I'll say them just probably because they are 2 of the people that we can remember that shot last second shots like buzzer beaters. And you you could just imagine if the gift of their if they didn't look at losing as a gift. Just imagine, they lost more they lost more games by shooting that last second shot than they won. Yeah.
Troy Washington:Like, they've lost more games than they won. But the the reality of it is because they look at the losing as a gift, as a motivation to come back and do it again, when you talk about them rallying around ourselves, all of us watch them miss as many shots as they we've seen them made. But we all want them to shoot the last shot too. We all expect that that next one is gonna go in with them because they rallied around themselves. And I think that when you start to look at yourself the exact same way no matter what you're doing and no matter what you're going through,
JClay:the
Troy Washington:world does follow suit. The world does join in in your in that collaboration of wanting to see you accomplish whatever it is. But, again, a lot of the times, we never allow ourselves the opportunity to do it because doubt and fear and those those type of things always tend to creep in. And I and, again, I'm I'm talking in in any aspect when losing is, a part of the the the circumstances. But I just I just think that, you know, at least for myself, a lot of times whenever I would have those thoughts, it was also it it was also coming along with what I thought people were gonna think about me losing.
Troy Washington:Right? Yeah. I'll go go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Well, that's that's that's gonna be my my next point. Like, we care a lot of people care more what other people think then they're remembering the game that they're playing. So, like, the the game that might be public might be a mini game that that the public doesn't know your your main game. So I like, today to them maybe you did lose, but nobody is even really looking at you that hard to say that you lost or bring up your losses. Like, because we're all so wrapped up in our own journey that we're not saying, oh, so and so just lost today and and telling the whole world like it is.
JClay:It doesn't work like that. Because, again, we we are too wrapped in our own egos and our own games that we wanna play, but we're so wrapped up in our ego. We think that everyone else is thinking about us, and that's not the the case at all. I mean, of course, your loved ones have you in mind, but no one is just 247, oh, let me think what Troy would be doing in this particular situation every day. Like, nah.
Troy Washington:Right. And and and I would go as far to say is that people are looking at you for what you're willing to show. And the reality of it is is that when you lose, you choose or choose not to show certain things. And so if you feel like people are judging the circumstances, it's only because you're portraying the circumstances in such a way. And that's the reason why I talked about the shooting of the basketball.
Troy Washington:Every time the end of the game is coming, if you were a Jordan fan, no matter how many times you've seen him lose, if anybody else had the ball, you was going crazy because you wanted him to shoot that much. Even though you've seen him miss more times than you've seen him make. Same thing with Kobe, same thing with LeBron. But but the reason being is because when you choose to rally around yourself, what you show like Jordan showed us or Kobe showed us or LeBron showed us, I'm going to take this last shot, and I'm gonna make it. And every time they did it, we believed them even after the loss.
Troy Washington:And so when we talk about the point of people, us reacting based off what we think people are going to think because our egos are leading us to believe that people are watching our every moment. No. They're not watching our every moment. They're watching the moments that we show, and those moments generally are tied to the things that we're weary of being exposed. So if you decide to take a losing moment and turn it into something different, When a person sees you, whether they expect it or not, they're going to they're going to move to the tune of your drum because that's all they could ever know.
Troy Washington:But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Shout out to to sis. She said, peace family. Your dad is watching. Can you turn on CC?
JClay:On Facebook if you're watching on Facebook, I think it renders the closed caption after the broadcast is done. But if you watch on YouTube, it might do it in real time. Hopefully, that
Troy Washington:helps. Yes. I just I think I think, you know what? No. You I will tell you this, Jay.
Troy Washington:The cash ins are on right now. I'm looking at it on the Facebook.
JClay:Oh, okay.
Troy Washington:What you have to do is you have to, at least I believe you have to, mute, press mute on the video. So that way, no sound is coming out. So, press mute on the video, and, you should be able to see the captions live. But, again, a good but but, again, though, you know, and, again, I only because I know I've fallen victim to this plenty times before. Even before a failure happens.
Troy Washington:And, again, I'm I'm gonna tell you just a prime example is I told you just recent just this past week, I went and passed the, the test to get my loan officer origination license. Right? And I took the class for this 2 years ago in February. This February would have been 2 years. And once I finished taking the classes, I had some people that took the class with me.
Troy Washington:They had gay had gave me a call. Hey, Troy. Hey. You took the test yet? And I was like, no.
Troy Washington:I haven't took the test yet. Man, I failed it. So I had, like, 2 or 3 people call me and tell me they failed it. That was in my actual class. And so because everybody was failing the test, I just decided not to take it.
Troy Washington:Now partly was because maybe I was looking at them like, they failed. You know? And so when I thought to myself taking the test, I thought back about how I felt about it. They're gonna look at me and be like, ah, he failed. I was just seeing myself because that's the only thing I could ever see anyway.
Troy Washington:And, again, the reason why I point this out is because of me thinking what somebody was going to think about my failure stopped me from taking the test. And I did all kind of studying and all kind of stuff, and I just decided, you know what? I'm just not gonna do I'm just not gonna do it. Right? And, you know, fortunately enough, over this past week or this past month, I just decide I when I knew my 2 my 2, 2 years was coming up, I kept thinking about one of my friends who kept saying, if you don't shoot the shot, you can't never make one.
Troy Washington:Again, I I just told you that. Right? And I was like, you know what? Even if I fail, I can always find out what what part I need to work on, and then I can come back and take it again. And, again, it it it just was like a light bulb.
Troy Washington:How much time I allowed to pass without giving myself the opportunity because of the thought of losing and what people would think about me was crippling. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah, man. It's it's it's it's crazy how far we we let our imagination stretch in the in the direction that we don't want. You know what I mean? Like, it it's it's but but, again, it it still comes true to the the game we're we're playing or the purpose for doing something.
JClay:So, like, the purpose for you taking your test was to see if you would pass it, But that wouldn't have a burden on if you were gonna get that license because you already decided to get it. So, like, the the the mini game within the game, the outcome doesn't matter. Like you said, you could you have to take the shot to at least put yourself in that situation to make it happen. And oftentimes, we're we're we're not willing to. We we let our imagination, confuse us, scare us, stop us in our tracks, and then we move on to another one until this one is so loud that we can no longer ignore it.
JClay:And I'm I'm here to say that it it's power in losing. Like, the the more comfortable you can get with with losing the mini game, the more you can win the big game that the one that matters. The one that might not everyone see or not or might not have in mind, but you will win. Like, I I I'll even use this as a as a mini game of sorts. We we talked about this often on the show, how we had many reasons for doing this, but one was just getting comfortable speaking off the top of our head.
JClay:Like, not having a predetermined script, just being comfortable and trusting ourselves that what we have to share will help others in in so many ways. And because of this, I've had tons of other speaking engagements where I had no nervous ability at all. And I was able to do that because of playing this mini game, whether this can be seen as a success or failure. And it it it's always important to remember what we're doing it for and and why. Yeah.
Troy Washington:You know, the funny thing that I'm glad that you brought up those situations because you're right. I've gotten speaking engagements because of this show as well, so I've I've gone on. But, again, the way that my mind would work, there have been times, and I I even told you that once I got speaking engagements, fear of losing and doubt crept in. And I would ask myself in those times, am I really the person that's supposed to be here? Should I really be doing this?
Troy Washington:You know? So these are all these are all thoughts of these are losing thought that you kind of had that you were allowed to dictate your actions. And, funny enough, just because of the, shout out to Brian, just because of being willing to overcome, the bravery, Me being able to just go and stand in front of these people in these places and actually, you know, speak, then I had people come back to me and say say, hey. Now, again, I'm thinking I'm losing this whole time. And I also am critiquing myself on how to be better the whole time.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:But I always have people come back and tell me such a you know, you you did a phenomenal job. You touched me here. You touched me there. And, again, that doesn't mean that I couldn't have done better or I did exactly what I wanted to do, but I opened myself. Go ahead, Jay.
Troy Washington:Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Quick question for you. What if somebody would've said, you don't belong here, Troy? What are you doing? You don't belong here. What would you have thought or even said?
Troy Washington:If somebody had told me that, I know I I I know I would have been like, yes. I do, fam. I I know I would've I would've came I I would've made it my heartbeat to come back harder. It it it would've just had to happen just because, yes. You know?
Troy Washington:I know why you asked me that.
JClay:Right. Exactly. And that's the crazy part. Like, we'll stop ourselves. We'll we'll we'll make ourselves think we don't belong, but let somebody tell us we don't belong.
JClay:Oh, I'm a show you I belong. I'm a show you why I'm the best one here and there's nothing you can do about it, But we won't we won't give ourself that confidence. We have to wait for somebody else to tell us that they don't have confidence in us. And it's it's it's so crazy. Go ahead.
Troy Washington:No. No. The the funny part is imagine if somebody calls you a loser. You know what I'm saying? And and, again, this is what me saying that losing something, not fulfilling it to the way that you anticipated it from the very beginning is not a bad thing.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:But even yet and still, if someone calls you that it's going to make you see it's gonna it's gonna hyper it's gonna make you hyper identify all of the things that you felt like you and and and make it better. It's just kinda how we operate. And I wanna read what Kamaria just said as well. She says, fight that opinion because opinions are And then I wanna read what Brian said as well. She he says, you have to have faith in what you're doing and always practice your craft to continue going.
Troy Washington:Shouts out Brian and, Kamari. What you said? Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. No. I I love that. And and and and it's it's crazy. And and the reason I asked you that question is because, like like I said, I I know I'm the same way, and I'm sure we all are the same way.
JClay:Like, if if someone challenges us in something that we know we're great in, we're we're it's gonna ooze out of us. We're gonna know we're there. But if if we're just by ourselves doubting ourselves, why? You know what I mean? Like like like, why is what's the psychology of that?
JClay:And and it might not even be important to answer. The important thing is to know that you do what you do because this is what you do, because this is what you have a passion for, enthusiasm for. And even the sense even the fact that you have enthusiasm for it and you're doing it, you're experiencing it, whether you win or lose, it's always a win because you're doing what you love. You're you're you're letting your heart be the guide and and you get to fill into that space. Even even my first time performing live, it was terrible, from, like, a performance standpoint, but I felt alive.
JClay:I was like, man, I never did anything like that before. I never saw myself doing anything like that before. And in that sense, it was a win, even though if I look at it now, it's like, oh, that was a loss.
Troy Washington:But yeah. Go ahead. So I'll say this to everybody that's listening, and I'm, again, I'm talking to myself. I'm talking to you. Something that I had been plagued by for a long time and, again, this is tied to the thought process of losing was only being good as far as the things and people you can see.
Troy Washington:And so what I mean by that is that as long as I was performing up to the level of what I felt like everybody around me was, then I was okay. And the reason why I would not jump out and go and say I was gonna be Bill Gates is because of a fear of losing, fear of not being able to accomplish, you know, whatever this high goal is. Right? And, again, I think about my son as an example too. Right?
Troy Washington:He, for a long time, would not go out and practice more. And the reason why he wouldn't practice more is because everybody that he was around, he felt like he was better than hoop wise. Right? Like, I mean, I don't got I mean, I don't gotta go harder because I'm already going harder than everybody around me. And so the one thing that I would always tell him is I want you to go harder than anybody that anybody.
Troy Washington:You you can go harder than LeBron right now. And, you know, his mindset is not I can't go harder than LeBron right now. If I go against LeBron, I'm gonna lose. And I would tell him, well, yeah, you are gonna lose because you feel like that. Right?
Troy Washington:I mean, it's just kinda how how it goes. But, again, bringing the point back to me is a lot of times, we would not shoot for the stars. We'll say, you know what? I'm successful, and I'm winning where I'm at. So now I don't need to go out and try to reach a stretch goal because I don't wanna lose.
Troy Washington:I don't want to accept myself back even though you're setting yourself ahead. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about that when you were talking, like, because, you know, of course, music is my thing. And I was thinking of the the the time between me just having fun with rap and then me feeling like I'm one of the best rappers ever. And it was a lot of work that went into that, but nowhere along the lines did I see it as work.
JClay:It was like the, it was like the next thing in line to do. Like, okay, I figured these might be the best lyricist. Let me put myself up against these lyricist or or or just see where I stand here or let me go song for song here with x y z and see where I stand. But but again, like, it it wasn't how do I say this? It wasn't like I wouldn't even say that I was trying to be the best ever.
JClay:I was just trying to live up to the potential I saw in myself. And I and I will say that it there's something about doing it because I've done both. Like, I I've done certain things well enough for those around me, but the difference was I didn't really care about those things. Like, it wasn't my love. I didn't have enthusiasm for I wasn't always searching for new ways to do this or do that.
JClay:But with music, I was always searching for new ways. Like, oh, okay. I already did a song like this. I don't wanna do a song like this anymore. I wanna what if I change this up?
JClay:Or what if I put this element here? And all of those put all of those many games, allowing myself to lose at those things that I've never done before, have all led to me being able to have the confidence to say I can make a song about anything in any genre, blah, blah, blah. Whether I can or can't. I have that confidence based on the the amount of games I played to allow myself to lose in order so that I can win the big game.
Troy Washington:So, you know, what's funny about the the about this thought process, and, again, same way I have too, and I think this is kinda general for everybody. But I also challenge everybody to thought if I believe that everybody, and no matter what it is that they're gonna do, have a split thought of being the best at that no matter what it is at some point. So, like, at some point, whether you want to achieve being the best rapper, when you first start doing it, you never think of yourself as a, I you'd be like you it's like we have this we have this thought. Okay. I want to accomplish this goal, and I'm gonna do this with it.
Troy Washington:And that is generally grand. And then once that energy dissipates, then we place ourselves where we feel like we belong in any given thing. So, like, you know, somebody can say I wanna be a rapper. You get what I'm saying? And Yeah.
Troy Washington:And when you first start thinking about rapping, you don't have any limitations to your thoughts. I guess I should say it like that. It's like it's automatically assumed I'm gonna be the best. I don't have to say I'm better than anybody. It's just that since I'm doing this, nobody's gonna be better than me.
Troy Washington:And then when I start hearing rappers or I start being witness to accomplishments, I say, well, maybe I won't do these accomplishments, but I I can do this. It's same thing with a basketball player. When they first start, they're like, I'm a win the like, every person thinks they're gonna win a championship until they don't till, you know, they place themselves. And I shout out to Brian and and Kamaria as well. Like, Kamaria, I'm pretty sure at some point, she was like, I'm going to be the best graphic design person.
Troy Washington:She might still feel like that, or she either placed herself or Brian, you know you know, exercising and being physically fit. I'm going to be I'm a win all these competitions, and then all of a sudden, we place ourselves. And and, again, a part of that is kinda what I was talking to that it's easy for us to be comfortable amongst things that we see. That's why one of my favorite things is more blessed is he who believes and does not see. Because the reason why we don't wanna see outside of what's comfortable is because failure starts to or losing starts to, you know, rear his head and say, well, if you go this far, just know this is what's gonna happen.
Troy Washington:And I I love the fact that you thought, your thought process of it's not really work when you're doing what you love to do. And that's the thing that I will remind everybody is to remove those hurdles and just think about the love for it because I think that Jordan shoot Jordan loved basketball so much that it didn't matter if he missed every shot. He's still gonna try to take the last one no matter what. He never had to see one go through, but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And and I I want to switch gears a little bit, talking about different kinds of loss. So one thing to remember that nothing that is truly yours can never be lost. So, you know, that if somebody steals something for you from you, don't worry about it. It's it wasn't it wasn't meant for you to have right now.
JClay:You have more greater things. The the things that are are greatest within you can never be lost. For instance, like, the the more love you give, the more love you have to give because you're filling the world around you with more love and it's reflecting back to you. So it's like we we sometimes think giving things away is a loss. It's never a loss.
JClay:Like, you you are adding to your storehouses of those those things that aren't finite. You're adding to the infinite. And if you remember that, like, it it it definitely take you far. Even in terms sometimes, you know, when when a loved one journeys on to that next transition where they shed their earthly limitations, we might think of that as a loss, but it's not because now these loved ones can help you in so many more ways. They they are no longer limited by the physical.
JClay:And if you believe that they that they are, you will kinda cut yourself from from them and all the gifts that they offer as well. So it's it's important to to to see that, like, even that is not a loss, or you could just say there's a gift in it because it it can lead to more and more clarity. And and you even seeing that you even without them, you're still you. You're still here. You're still able to succeed.
JClay:And you might have gave some of that power to these other people that they didn't they didn't never need the power anyway because it was all you, if I'm making sense.
Troy Washington:No. No. I I again, a part of what you're saying to me is that you have to recognize the loss as a gift in order for you to draw what you were supposed to draw from it. Yeah. And, you know, I'm I'm gonna put my deck because I know my dad is on.
Troy Washington:Like, I did not grow up with my dad. Right? And but the funny part is just on that show alone, how many times have myself or you spoke something that my dad has said or pull from something that my dad has shown. And and and and and the reason why I I I I point that out is because for each one of us, we try to define what that gift or how long that gift or what that gift is supposed to look like, but you can't quantify it like that. The reality of it is you have to understand that in any given moment, the opportunity is there just depending on how you're looking at the situation.
Troy Washington:And I think that's a a big a big point of this is and that's why I like the fact that you point out being able to witness or understand or identify what you're looking at, but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I I and I I love that you said that, like, we try to quantify the gift in a certain way Because I have seen a lot of people in just different cert certain situations where they might not have had a traditional upbringing or they might not have had the certain toys that the next person had, and they'll get mad and say, man, if I had these toys, maybe my life would be better. But they're missing the gift of not having the toys that comes with it. Like, every every situation comes with its own gifts, if you would. But look at it.
JClay:No matter no matter if you're if you grew up in what society deems the best environment or the worst environment, like, it's it's it's so much to be learned on both ends. And it's important that you look for the lesson. If you look for the lesson, you're gonna find it. If you look for the wrongdoing, you're gonna find it. So it's all about what you're looking for, about which predicates what you receive.
Troy Washington:You know, and just to kinda tell you, you know, I I've been subbing, going to do substitute teaching whenever I have nothing going on. Right? Yeah. And, funny, you know, one of the kids this past week, they had a toy. You know, they brought a toy to school, which they shouldn't have brought a toy to school.
Troy Washington:And during recess, they will find out this toy, him him and some other kids, you know, and they took they took the toy from him, whatever. Right? So I go, and I take the toy from my other kids. Right? And so the one kid whose toy it is is just furious.
Troy Washington:He just he just mad in the mud like, I want my toy. He he not trying to hear nothing nobody talking about. And so I was like, yeah. No. I'm not gonna be able to give you toy, man.
Troy Washington:I'm gonna have to take this to the principal. I'm not gonna give you this toy. Right? Now, again, I'm processing this out as it's happening, trying to figure out what is the right of the best way to move because, again, unique situation. Never had it before.
Troy Washington:So this kid goes to the to the end of the field, and he sits up against the gate by himself. Reset is over. He's not gonna come in, and the comes up to me, and she was like, another teacher came up to me, and she was like, hey. So, yeah, he had emotional problems, and, you know, we just, you know, we generally just give him the toy and then just let him, you know, do what he wanna do. And I was like, well, I'm not gonna be able to just give this kid the toy he was fighting over this much.
Troy Washington:You know? It just and so I took a second, and, nobody's gonna mess with him too because they scared of him. So I took a second, and I was like, how can I handle this? Now, again, I didn't wanna give in because me, I identified this as a loss. If I give in to this kid, I'm going to lose.
Troy Washington:But then I thought to myself, well, if I lose, what opportunity is there for me to help this kid grow? So what I ended up doing was I said, you know what? I went to the fence, and I walked down, and I told him, stand up. I was like, stand up. Stop crying, man.
Troy Washington:I said, this is your toy? He said, yeah. I said, you want your toy back? He said, yeah. I said, this is what I'm gonna do.
Troy Washington:I'm gonna give you this toy. I want you to put this toy in your pocket, and I don't want you to pull this toy out anymore at school today. And I don't wanna see it until school is over with. So then, cool. He put it in his pocket.
Troy Washington:He stopped crying. He go to class. And then, now mind you, this is a kid that's not wanting to listen to anybody. And, again, I could've felt like I had to give in because of whatever the case be. Right?
Troy Washington:And so when his class was over, he came to me and said, mister Washington, I'm going to be much better for you next time. So I was like, okay. Cool. So the next day when I showed up to the school, he had his toy that they let him bring, but he put his toy in his pocket. He said, I'm gonna keep this in my pocket all day.
Troy Washington:And he was just a good kid for the rest of the day. Now, again, if I don't wanna lose then, I'm not looking at the possibility of what can happen then. I was gonna fight him for the next 2 days straight up. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:No. That that that's tight. I mean, like like, you you showed them respect. You showed them love. You know what I mean?
JClay:Which are anybody ever wants. And I know sometimes dealing with being a kid, adults will talk down to you like you don't understand thing. I hated that as a kid, but that's it's another another thing. But that's cool that you you talk to him like a real person. You know what I mean?
JClay:And not Adam. Yeah. That that's dope that that you you found the common ground. You found the win in it. Like, I don't think you lost at all.
JClay:I don't think you gave in at all. And and I don't think he saw it as a a loss or a win. I I think he saw it as an opportunity to to be different and be better to the and to the eyes of what of how high you see him and regard him. But go ahead.
Troy Washington:But see that's but that's the point, though. And you you said it. There there is no loss. There could be depending on how I frame it, depending on how I perceive what's going on, and then that's going to dictate my actions. Right?
Troy Washington:And most times, adults fight with kids because they don't wanna lose. You know how many times growing up some adult told me because I said so? But that doesn't make it right. Well, it's right because I said so. Right?
Troy Washington:The reason an adult would do that is because they don't see the gift in losing the opportunity to teach something different. You know? Maybe I am wrong, but the reason why I'm doing this is because of this, and I feel like it's been it it just it's so meant so much opportunity if you if you can decide to step back from what you feel like is a losing situation and recognize the win. You have to be able to the win is always there in the loss. Even even when we talk about losing people, the the funny thing that I I I've actually just talked to Charnay about this the other day.
Troy Washington:And, Steve's telling me about this time, and her and her and her, her grandfather is still alive. Right? But she also was telling me about a time when something happened with him picking her up from school in a raggedy car. Right? In the car that they felt like was a joke.
Troy Washington:And the reason why I bring it up is because the highlighted of life will always be prominent in your memories. They're always gonna be the one the things that stick out in your memory even when you don't think that it's a good thing. And so the the thing that I tried to tell her was though those moments your grandfather made sure you you were you were reminded that he was the person taking you to school. Yeah. But some kids don't have people taking them to school.
Troy Washington:They gotta ride the bus. You know? There's so many different things that happen to put you in the mindset of how this is such a winning situation, but go ahead.
JClay:Yeah. Well, what I was gonna say to that too, like, sometimes our ego gets us caught up in playing even a different game completely. Like you said, where people don't wanna lose because that ego comes into play and then you're you're off your game. You're off your main game. Like, even today, I I told you we lost 2 games early on.
JClay:And this last game, I was like, nah. We we went in. I I had I was pissed. I learned what I needed to learn from those other losses. And midway through, I think something happened, and I could just see the morale on my team drop.
JClay:And I was like, y'all, no ego. Let that go. Keep playing, like, keep playing our game. Don't get goaded into this. And then it was like everybody kinda clicked, and we did what we needed to do.
JClay:But but, again, like, that could've gone sour because everybody was caught up in that that one on one egoic mind. I gotta win this argument or win this particular play. Like, no. It's about the game, not about each individual play. I mean, those add up, you know, of course.
JClay:But it's important to to know your game that you're playing and why, and and don't veer off of it. Don't let your ego have you playing a game that you never ever intended to play because that that's when everybody loses, when your ego gets too involved.
Troy Washington:You know, it's funny. And, again, I I should've said this earlier, but I just thought about it. When I think about the games that we have there are some games that we play basketball that we've lost badly. I mean, like, the score could have been, I don't know, 40 to 10 or something. Right?
Troy Washington:In those games where I knew we were gonna lose, I would always ask my kids, number 1, do y'all think we're gonna lose? And they'd be like, no. But I would tell them because we are behind, this is a opportunity to practice all the things that we wanna practice. And I and I said that to say that even when you're losing, there's even if you can't see the win, there's opportunity if you just take the moment to, assess the situation to build in it, the game within the game that you're talking about. And in those games that we lost, we were able to run play.
Troy Washington:We were able to, learn what we're supposed to be in specific situations. We were able to better communicate with each other. We were able to see things that we would not have been able to see had we been winning. And and, again, that's only because I was able to identify in the loss that we don't have to take this for what we believe it to be in this current moment. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. I love that. And, Ed, check this out. I did something this game well, this this to this day that I never did before that, of course, you think somebody who plays basketball as much as I do should be able to do this one thing, because I'm not necessarily known for my dribbling skills. But I dribbled full court right hand, later with my right hand.
JClay:Never done that before ever. Usually I usually I get scared at the last second if somebody come in and switch to the left and get a little bit of tip because I I could do everything with my left. But to do all of that with my right, like, I was like, yeah. And I never tried it before. And it was it was crazy how many times I've had the opportunity, but I psych myself out, out of fear for whatever.
JClay:Like, if they hate me, I'm just going to prove them wrong anyway. You know what I mean? Like, in this and I don't know. I'm just saying it to say that I was grateful that I I finally tried something new. And even if it didn't pay off, I would have been happy that I still tried it.
JClay:But go ahead.
Troy Washington:And the beautiful part about that is the fact that there is a certain level of gratitude for you trusting in yourself that you had. Right? And even but even so much so that you thought in a split moment, if they hate me, then so what? But had you missed it, again, the gratitude that you have for yourself for trying is that much better because now you know why you missed. You you can see like, how many times I told TJ when he when he tried to make a left hand layup, like, man, you was this close.
Troy Washington:Like, if you woulda just turned your body this way or you just did this, it's just it's so much to gain because now you have more confidence when you do it next time. You're gonna feel more free. And if you make it the level of, of joy, it intensifies even even much more. You'll you'll you'll love experiencing what you're capable of when you're okay with not accomplishing that much for some reason. It's it's weird, bro, but go ahead.
JClay:Yeah. And it's funny to think about, like, the the putting yourself in a position where losing is possible, leads to more wins than you can ever imagine. And and it's crazy. You know what I mean? Because a lot of times, you know, it's easy to it's easy not to do anything at all.
JClay:Like, yeah, you can't lose if you don't play. So, you know, nobody has to worry about losing if they don't play. But just putting yourself in the position to lose brings forth the opportunity for more wins or bigger wins than your your lowest loss, which is cool.
Troy Washington:Now real real talk. Now, again, shoot your shot because you can't make a shot unless you shoot that much. And and and, again, I I think about, even myself with this whole, loan officer license thing. I've been been in real estate for 8 years now, and I have referred, you know, clients to, you know, multiple lenders the entire time that I've been doing this. And the reason why is all because I was afraid to shoot my shot.
Troy Washington:All because I was afraid to lose. And now that I've passed, I still don't know what that means. And that and and and this is what I wanted to get to. Sometimes you don't know what the outcome is gonna be, but you still gotta shoot your shot so you can see. And, again, I don't I don't, again, I don't know if this means that I'll, you know, refer more business to myself, but I know that there's opportunity because I wasn't afraid of losing.
Troy Washington:And I wanna shoot, what my dad said. He said, can't lose trying to. We get better every time we try real talk. Go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Check this out. So you know how with with a lot of things we have was called beginner's luck. It is because, like, we're okay with losing. We're so okay with losing because it's like, oh, I don't have any experience with this. I can try whatever.
JClay:It doesn't matter. I don't expect much from myself or others don't. So I'm fine with it and you do greater things. But once you start to understand, like, the rules and the etiquette of what people think is is necessary or the the right way to do things, then all of this other stuff comes into play where you you you're afraid to move because you don't wanna do it wrong. And it's like, nah, like like, try to remember that mentality of of make everything new.
JClay:Like, don't don't don't expect anything great of yourself, but intend for greatness. Like, you can intend for it, but just don't expect it. And I know that that it sounds like what? You shouldn't expect greatness. No.
JClay:You should intend for greatness, but let the expectation expectations go. You that that's not for you to determine. Just do your best and have fun with it, and and it leads to doing things in so many creative ways.
Troy Washington:And and I I like to just say and, again, the reason why I cosigned you saying don't expect greatness is because greatness cannot really truly be defined when it comes to things outside of yourself. But what I would tell you to do is know that you're great. Like, if you know that you're great, it doesn't matter what comes out of it. It's going to be great based off of who you are. And, and and I think that a part of that is when you know that you're great, you'll perform at your optimal level, like, at your optimal level.
Troy Washington:And and and that's when great greatness is created, the greatest version of you, when you're being fruitful and you're multiplying whatever you can out of yourself. So, you know, when I write a song, sometimes it's frustrating because I can get stuck on one line. Right? And the only reason I'm stuck on one line is because I haven't I don't feel like the line that I've come up with is the best line for the moment that I'm in. And I could either, fold on being the best version of what I know of myself in that moment, or I can just stick with it.
Troy Washington:And, generally, when I stick with it, it doesn't matter if anybody liked it or not. I always get to walk away, but, like, man, I I love I went hard on that, and there's no better feeling. Again, you can't tell me I lost when I know that I gained because I gave everything that I had, but go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Yeah. And sometimes in the reverse, like, I've had that happen as well while I'm stuck on a line, but I'm also afraid to just let that line go completely, and come up with a new rhyme line because my ego was getting there. Like, no. You can't do that. You wrote this.
JClay:This is yours. You have to keep it. You have to find a way. But when I let that go, like, you know what? Forget this line or even verse, I come up with something much better because I wasn't necessarily forcing myself in a certain realm.
JClay:So it it it can work on both ends, but, again, know the game that you're playing and the reason you're doing it.
Troy Washington:Samaria said, greatness is great plus business. Stay on the job. The reward is measured by your effort. Yes. Yep.
Troy Washington:Yep. Yep. I can't argue with that. And, you know, I was listening to, I think I just sent it to you. I I we'll talk about talk about that next time.
Troy Washington:It was, I I only get because it's it's just too much. Okay? But but for sure. But when your mind start running, it start running. So so to that point, I say this.
Troy Washington:For myself, what I plan on doing this week is looking at every situation. Just like I looked at our football game this weekend, just like, you know, if something was expected, that I wanted to get done, just reminding myself that, regardless of the the outcome that I believe is gonna happen, just to follow through. Because following through will always show me, show me the truth. And, my dad said, I remember making you drive from Colorado. I didn't think you could do it.
Troy Washington:I knew you could. I put my life on it. Yeah. He straight went to sleep on me too. No.
Troy Washington:That's my
JClay:But now but but but again, like, that that that Real time. Stuff like seeing stuff like that or people putting us in the opportunity to do something greater than we thought, like, it it leads to us because we don't wanna disappoint them. And of course, we don't wanna disappoint ourselves. And it it does make a a big difference. Like like what you did with the, with the student to, the the other day in class.
JClay:Like, you gave him an opportunity to step to the level of greatness that you hold him to, and he he did it.
Troy Washington:Yep. Yep. Yep. And I and I and, you know, it's funny. I shout my dad out on this too.
Troy Washington:Just to that point that I didn't have any expectation at that moment. I'm saying, I didn't know that there was even a possibility for loss because he didn't he didn't allow that to part of the environment that we were in at the moment. Like, it was no, you know, be careful or and, again, I'm not telling you not to, you know, have that kind of mentality, but it was just like, you're gonna drive, follow these signs, and, you know, wake me up when we get to this point. And it was just that simple.
JClay:Yeah.
Troy Washington:And so that there there couldn't be any level of doubt that I had in myself, even though it could have been possibility for loss. But just knowing that if there there was some kind of loss, you you know, if I went the wrong direction, well, next time I know the right direction. If I was to have an accident, well, you know, next time I know how not to have an accident. Of course, nobody wants to have an accident. You can have accident and know everything.
Troy Washington:But just understanding that there's way more for me to gain in this moment by just allowing me to to to have a free mind about it was important. But go ahead, Jay.
JClay:Real quick before we wrap up. I was thinking more about, like, if somebody challenges you and say, like, you don't belong here, whatever, how you show them. Like, I've had people on the court say to me, you know, you gotta make them shots. I'm like, you know, I'm trying to make it right. Like, it it was just one of them things that, like, why would you say that?
JClay:Of course, I'm I'm gonna make the shot. I've learned something from it. I'm already playing my game. You worry about your game. I worry about my game.
JClay:But that's that's just a ego, but in the sense of winning. But go ahead.
Troy Washington:Now to to that point, though, I'm a say this and then I'm a I'm a go ahead and wrap us up out of here. I was at a business meeting one day, bro, and I was there via my business partner. Took me to some builders to talk to them. And the builder told me in that moment, the reason here is because of her. And I thought to myself in that moment, the reason why I'm here is because of me.
Troy Washington:And the reason why I say that is because I don't it doesn't matter how you perceive it. The reason why you're anywhere you're supposed to be is because of you and your perception and the way you perceive things. So it's okay to lose as long as you understand that you losing had its purpose. And if you can recognize that, then there's always somewhere to go. And I just tell everybody that we're grateful for y'all joining us today.
Troy Washington:You know, without y'all, we wouldn't be here. We'd definitely be doing something, but we wouldn't be being here. And we hope that we help you realize your perfection, because y'all help us to do the same with every anytime y'all come and y'all help us see a different perspective and also dig deeper to see who we are. And, Jay, you can go ahead and take us out, man.
JClay:Yeah. Same thing. Appreciate y'all rocking with us this episode. Everybody that commented, joined us, watching all of that. If you wanna support perfect mode, check out our Patreon and enter a donation.
JClay:We appreciate it. And, yeah, just remember your perfect creation made by a perfect creator. So you might as well accept your perfection and enter perfect mode. Yeah. Yeah.
JClay:If I reminded you that you are perfect, would you argue me down or step into your perfection? Welcome to perfect. Welcome to perfect. Welcome to perfect. Where there are no excuses, no expectations, and we explore the world without limitations.
JClay:I'm Jay Clay, rapper, and spiritual teacher, with my cohost Troy Washington, your friendly neighborhood realtor. Let's be real. So let's be perfect. Let's be perfect. Perfect.
JClay:Perfect. Perfect.