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A podcast that explores what it means to work with purpose by interviewing people who are working for more than just a paycheck.
Are you in corporate America grinding away the weeks as you watch the years fly by? Do you have that voice in your head that’s asking for something more? But you shouldn’t complain, right? You’ve got a good job, good pay, good benefits. There’s people out there that would kill for a job like that. But that little voice just won’t go away.
I’m your host Gino. And as an ex 9-5er I know that feeling all too well. I worked in corporate for 6 years before I finally decided to walk away, choosing to live my life a little differently. And since then, I’ve met some pretty amazing people who do work that positively impacts the people around them, their communities, and the world. This podcast exists to share their stories, and to help inspire you to do the same. Leave that job that you hate and to start working towards your purpose.
Welcome to working towards our purpose, a podcast that
offers a different perspective on what a job can be for everyone
out there that's heard that voice in the back of their head asking for something
more, it's time to listen to it. I'm your host, Gino,
and join me as I interview people who have decided to work in their
own purpose. Together we will learn, become inspired,
and hopefully find our own path towards working in our purpose.
Welcome back to working towards our purpose. And today I have a
solo episode for you, and I have a
topic in mind that I want to get to. And I think hopefully it could
be relatable for a lot of people who are
trying to do something new. And the idea is
basically something that I notice within myself that I
get really frustrated when I see lack of progress
with something new that I'm doing. So anything new that I start
and, you know, if it takes like longer than a little
bit to see progress or to see results, I tend to get
really frustrated and then become hard on myself. So I kind of just
want to talk about this idea and like, how it's
kind of a little bit nonsensical
or not fair maybe is a better way to say it. Not really
being fair to myself, not giving myself a little bit of grace. So I think
if I can change my attitude on this, then it'll help me not give up
so easily when I'm trying something new. So I noticed this
pattern within myself because the past
20 days or so, I've been, at the time of this recording, I've been building
my podcast website out. I've been building, working towards a
purpose. And I, I've built a website before,
but I've never like, built a website from WordPress before. And to,
to make a long story short, I've been very frustrated with my
Godaddy website that I have for my business buzz and podcast, and
they just, they charge me way too much money per year. And
the limitations of the website builder has just been frustrating.
So if you know nothing about websites, there's certain website builders out there like
Wix or Squarespace, where they're very simple, just drag and drop.
And, you know, with a little bit of learning, you can build a
pretty nice looking website for not really knowing that much about websites. I remember when
I first built my website for a pleasant podcast, I was like, wow, this is
easy. I can put this template in here. I just put my pictures in, put
my words in, and I got a whole website and it makes it super
easy. The problem being that when you build websites
with Godaddy or with squarespace or with wix, you basically
are stuck within that company. Like, I can't
move my Godaddy website to Squarespace now because Godaddy's charging me too
much. So basically you get stuck and you have to pay them
whatever they want you to pay because you built it on their website
builder, you can't transfer it anywhere else, which is why
WordPress exists. And WordPress has been a place where people have built
websites for a long time. And it's a lot more complex than just a drag
and drop kind of thing. It's set up very like old school
and it takes a little bit more to learn the back end of it and
to learn, like, how it works, because it's not just drag and drop. So
anyway, I found out that if I build my website on WordPress,
then I, I can basically download it and move it anywhere that
I want, so I'm not stuck with any service. So I looked into some
of my options and I found Bluehost is a hosting website where I can
use WordPress. And they were basically charging me
the same amount of money that I was paying in one year for
GoDaddy for three years of having three websites,
which is a considerable savings. And because I wanted my second website,
I wanted to not have to pay an additional
fee, whereas on GoDaddy they basically wanted me to pay twice
for both websites. So now I'm looking at like
$600 a year to have two websites, whereas
using WordPress on Bluehost, it was basically
$300 for three years of three websites.
So getting back to my story, I had to learn WordPress and
I've kind of used it a little bit for certain clients before I've like,
gone in and like made changes and stuff. So I was kind of familiar with
the layout and how things worked, but I've never built a
website on WordPress, like from scratch. So I was like, well, how hard
could it be, right? So I, I go on, I start looking at some videos,
I start playing around with it. And within the first day, I remember
getting to the end of the first day and just being so frustrated and being
like, what am I doing? I should have just stayed on Godaddy. Who cares if
it's a little bit more money now? You're wasting all your time doing this and
there's no point. So I remember having that
thought and then I remember about a week later when I had my website
80% done and then having another thought being like,
hmm, remember when you were frustrated that you thought this
was a waste of time and you were never going to get it done. And
now here you are a week later, 80% of the site's done,
and you feel good about it and you feel, like, happy that you learned this
new skill. And then it just got me to question, like, why do I
so quickly think, like, oh, this isn't working, this is a waste of
time. Why did I do this? I don't want to do this anymore. And it
was just kind of an interesting thought. And I realized that, like, I kind of
do that a lot with a lot of different things. Like, I get frustrated
right off the bat if something's not working. And same thing
happened when I was trying to book guests for this podcast. I
remember during the, the break that I took, I was trying to book a bunch
of people and I wanted to have, like, you know, 20 episodes in the bank.
So I was ready to go. And then, like, three weeks went by and I
haven't booked anybody. And I was, like, getting really frustrated. And
then I randomly got an email from somebody
that I've never met before and they were like, hey, we should have a podcast
swap. Cause we have similar podcasts. And then again, it made me think about, like,
why am I so hard on myself for not, like,
getting these things done or not getting results right away?
And, you know, I think it's good sometimes to be hard on yourself. But I
also think that if you're doing it in a way that's, like,
hindering you from accomplishing the task, then it almost seems,
like, pointless. It's like you're trying to do this new thing, but then you're so
mad at yourself for not being able to do it right away, immediately, then you
give up. And for me, I'm thinking about, like, if I could just change my
mindset a little bit and be like, oh, yeah, this is the
first week of me doing this. Maybe I should just let it go, not be
so frustrated right now. See what happens in a week. And
it seems so simple as I'm talking about it and saying it, but when you're
doing, when I'm doing it, it just, I don't remember that in
the moment. And I had a conversation with one of my friends recently, and
she was kind of saying the same thing as I was talking about this
idea of, like, being so frustrated at not learning something
quickly. And she was like, yeah, I usually just give up. Like, I
give up on the thing that I'm doing. And I wonder how many things there
are that I could have done if I didn't give up. And, like, her reflecting
on that. And it's just interesting. I don't know, it's
like almost, I'm confused at the fact that, like, I don't even
allow myself to have some understanding that, like, because it's new, it's going to take
a little bit longer than it would if you didn't know how to do it.
And that's like such a simple topic or a simple concept,
but for whatever reason, like, it's hard to, it's hard to act in
that way and it's hard to not like, beat yourself up for not getting it
right away. And it just, I don't know, it makes me wonder, like, where that
comes from. I mean, I guess school, maybe schooling as a kid was like
that. Like, if you didn't get it right away, you were the dumb kid in
the class and you were laughed at and, you know, maybe
it's a sort of that sort of like, training of your
head and then you treating yourself in that way of like, oh,
you're not getting it right away. You must be stupid. You must not understand how
to do things. You must not be good at this. Maybe you shouldn't be doing
this. And, yeah, maybe even a little bit of like, the imposter
syndrome comes in, too. I think. I think at one point, if I'm really, like,
put myself back in that position when I was mad at myself, I think part
of it was like, oh, you shouldn't even be building websites. Why are you building
a website? That's not something that you do. And
then a week later when I did my website, my next
thought was like, oh, maybe I can help other podcasters build their websites now because
now I know how to do it. And it's just, I don't know, it's funny,
the limitations we put on ourselves. And I think that's
kind of like maybe what I'm getting at, hopefully not being too
rambly, but, like, I think that's what it is, is the limitations that we put
on ourselves of, like, not being able to do certain
things or thinking that we can't do something because it's
challenging at the beginning, but it's totally normal for something to be challenging
at the beginning and to not know how to do at the beginning because you
don't know how to do it. And it's the whole point of doing something new.
So I guess now, as I'm thinking about it too, it makes me want to
almost do new things. More often to get used to trying things and
then be gentle with myself and give myself grace that,
like, you're not going to get it right away and, you know, to
stick with it until it does make sense or until it does click. So I
guess a big part of it is probably just patience and being kind to
yourself, which is something that I definitely struggle with, is being kind to
myself. And I think a lot of people also struggle with that.
So, yeah, I don't know. I guess this episode is kind of a reminder of
that. I'm also starting a new job this week, and
I had my first few days already, and they were kind of just meetings because
it's a part time job, and part of it is going to
some weekly meetings that the organization has. And I found
myself in the first meeting being kind of excited and, like,
learning. And then our second meeting was virtual. And so
I kind of just did it for my apartment, logged on to the zoom, and
was kind of just listening. And I was also kind of
finding myself in a position where I'm like, man, I don't have anything to offer
to these meetings. I don't really know
what's going on yet, and I'm kind of just absorbing it.
But I also found myself in the position, like, what am I doing here? I
don't know if I'm adding any value here. I don't know
that this was the right decision. Right. Going
back and forth with those thoughts. And again, it's kind of the same concept
of, it's something that I started very recently, and
I haven't learned the job yet, and I'm already kind of
in the position of, like, thinking of myself as, like, why am I here? Should
I be here? Should they have even hired me? I don't think I have anything
to contribute at this point. But then remembering, like, okay, well, it's your
second, like, meeting with them. Like, you've worked for this company
for, like, 4 hours. Like, so
it kind of makes sense when you reflect on it that you have nothing to
contribute yet because it's like you don't even understand a lot
of how things operate. And even to back up even
more and be like, well, they're probably not even expecting anything of you yet because
you're still learning. And again, the harsh self
judgment on, like, you should be doing this by now.
It's such a weird thing to think about and then to reflect upon because it's
like, logically I know that, yeah, I'm starting
new, and I shouldn't really have to contribute anything right this second.
Just kind of sit, learn and absorb. But then the other part of my brain
is like, hey, you should be doing this. You should feel bad because you're not
contributing anything. You should, you know, maybe you should be learning faster. Maybe you
should be doing this. And just, again, the self
criticism and how, like, if you let it, it
could make it, it could stop you in your tracks, you know, it could make
me quit. It can make me not go back. But to keep in mind
that, like, it's normal, I guess, to have that at the beginning.
And it just makes me think about how, like, there's people that I
talk to and a lot of people feel
so frustrated at, like, what they're doing currently in their job,
but their idea that they have it just seems like such an
insurmountable task. And there's, like, so many things to go,
you don't know, so many things, like, how am I going to do this thing
when I've never done this thing before? And then you start beating yourself
up for it. And I guess what I'm trying to say is, like, if there's
people out there that are wanting to do something
but are being critical on themselves, like, I think the best thing you
can try to do is to observe yourself being critical on yourself, and
then you can take it a step further and be like, okay, that
makes sense, but I'm doing something new and I don't know how to do it
yet. So let me not put any energy into the self
criticism and let me just put energy into the figuring it out. Give.
Give yourself an hour a week. Give yourself however much time you have
to trying to put time to it, because I think
it always goes back to the Nike slogan, just do it. But, like, if you
have an hour, you can either sit and think about the hour
and think about how you're not prepared for this or you don't understand this
or you're too dumb to understand this, or you're not the right person to be
doing this. You could do that for a whole hour, or
you could just, like, do something and Google search something.
And even if you only read a couple articles, you still made a little bit
of progress and you still figured something out. And if
you keep doing that, eventually it's going to culminate into something
where now you do know how to figure it out. And I don't know, maybe
it's an adult thing, too. Like, maybe once you get a certain age, you think,
like, you can do this or you can't do this. And you kind of just
set more limitations on yourself, and it's
just, like, not true. You can learn anything at
any time and, like, you can learn how to
build websites at 60 or you can,
you know, learn anything at any age if you just try
and put yourself to it. There's no limitations other than the ones that you put
on yourself. And I think a lot of times we tell ourselves that we can't
do this. This isn't our field of expertise. It's like, well,
it can be if you start now. And,
yeah, I don't know, kind of. Kind of going on a rant here, but
I'm. I'm mostly talking to myself in these
conversations. And because I do this a lot, I
give myself limitations at times. And it can be
frustrating, and it can be hard when you're hard on yourself,
but to keep remembering that it's
okay to not figure it all out in one take, you can try
again tomorrow, and you can try again the next week, and you can try again.
And the more you keep trying, you'll eventually figure it out. You
know, a lot of times I've had feedback of people being like, oh, I could
never, like, do what you did. I don't know where to start on my
idea. I think sometimes it's helpful to just remember
to not criticize yourself so much and to put that energy
into just doing it. And, you know, it's definitely
hard, and I definitely understand it, and I definitely have currently just gone through
it and I'm still going through it. But I think the more that we talk
about this and the more that we have conversations about the way that we
treat ourselves, the better we can recognize that we're doing
it and then we can let it go. And you can recognize, like, oh, I'm
beating myself up on something because it's something new and it's hard and it's
challenging, and that's okay. But I don't need this negative
self talk. So just something that I've been thinking about a
lot because I'm going through a lot of changes right now, and I'm starting a
lot of new things, and it's something that's coming up, and I'm noticing that it's
something that's hindering me and it's something that's slowing me down. But again, I'm
reminding myself, like, that's okay. You can take your time at it. You don't
have to figure it out right now. If it takes you two more weeks, if
it takes you three more weeks, uh, you know, that's fine. That
at least you'll get it done. You know, at the end of the day, if
my website's launched and it took me three weeks of building instead of one
week, nobody's gonna know. Like, the only
person that knows that is me. Like, at the end of the day, my podcast
website is there, it's built, and it's the way that I want it to be.
And because it took a couple weeks longer, it doesn't make any
difference. And I shouldn't beat myself up because it took me three weeks instead
of the one week unrealistic goal that I had going
into it. Um, so, yeah, just a
reminder to everyone that, like, to be easy on yourself, and
it's okay to be, like, critical and hyper critical, but to not let
that stop you or to slow you down. And I think
more than ever now, I need to hear, like, it's okay,
you can be easy on yourself. You can give yourself grace. It's okay to not
make the deadline. It's okay to go a little bit past the deadline, because either
way, it's going to get done at the end of the day. And that's what's
important, is accomplishing the thing and doing the thing that you set out to
do. So, um, the timeline is. Is less important
than getting the task done. And, yeah, just
a reminder to me that it's okay if it
takes a little bit longer than you imagine or you expect, because you're usually putting
pretty strict goals on yourself. So I hope this episode made
sense. I hope this resonated with someone and, you know,
again, getting used to these solo episodes and
trying to pontificate on these ideas that are going
around in my head. So hopefully bring them to light and
hopefully it helps somebody somewhere. I appreciate you all for listening. Thank you
so much, and I will see you on the next episode.
Thank you for listening to working towards our purpose. If you
enjoyed today's episode, please share with a friend or leave a
review at Apple Podcast or Spotify. And if
you'd like to support the show, you can go to my website,
workingtowardsourpurpose.com, where you could purchase working
towards our purpose official merchandise dice. Thanks for listening.