The 4:30 Movie is Now in Theaters!

Harley passes on a leading role in Kevin’s new movie. A Dad and Daughter discuss Mental Health. And the debut of Passion or Ration.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What is Beardless, D*ckless Me?

For 25 years, Kevin Smith has tried to make his beardless, dickless twin of a daughter Harley laugh in real life. Now he does it every week on a podcast.

00:00:23
Speaker 1: Welcome to beardless, dickless me.

00:00:27
Speaker 2: I'm Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

00:00:29
Speaker 1: Number eleven kids an episode eleven. We have so much to to do and get to, for heaven's sake, so much brand new movie opening this week, the four point thirty movie. And I got a thing that I want. I got a game I want to play. Oh yeah, a new thing, a new thing for the for the show to kind of give it like some spine. Otherwise, you know, it's just every episode is us going get me back by nor So we need other things to go to. I guess you know what I'm I believe me. I do that show every fucking week. So true, but we'd probably lose an audience, maybe the audience they legit just every episode they do give me back my name. And there's something at first that's like kit chee fun about it, but then it's just irritating and they it's.

00:01:23
Speaker 2: Not even the real line. John Proctor never says.

00:01:27
Speaker 1: Neither of them have seen the Crucibal. She purports to have been in it. She should know fucking better than John Proctor would never say that.

00:01:33
Speaker 2: We're still talking.

00:01:34
Speaker 3: About the Crucible anyways.

00:01:36
Speaker 1: It's crazy well, I mean honestly, like that was why I went into film or want to be an entertainer, because otherwise high school is going to be the best part of my life. Like I would have been the person still talking about The Crucible like at age fifty four if I'd been in it in high school, Like, yeah, I played John Proctor. It was fucking tough.

00:02:00
Speaker 2: What does that say about me?

00:02:02
Speaker 1: Well, you didn't, I mean fucking it ain't like I played John Puckter and then still waiting for the next role that's as strong as John pucker I said, no to many, you were in a fucking Quentin Tarantino movie, like You're good you were, I mean, never mind, you were in a couple hundred Kevin Smith movies. But I would say the high school version of you would be very impressed by the twenty five year old version of you, whereas I think the high school version of me would be fucking gobsmacked.

00:02:34
Speaker 2: So true, like what so true?

00:02:36
Speaker 1: Fucking like who fucking hell? First off, if the you know, teenage versus high school version of me, And this is all on brand because the four thirty movie is kind of about that.

00:02:48
Speaker 2: So true.

00:02:49
Speaker 1: Now in theaters go to Fandango, New Contra ticket, fucking please the uh the the high school version of me. If he could fucking if we could fold time and he could see the current version of me, if before he encountered me, he encountered you, he would be like, oh my god, I grew up to become a beautiful woman. He starts asking you a bunch of questions, like what happened to our dick? How do we jerk off? Can I take a picture of us right now?

00:03:26
Speaker 4: Lord?

00:03:27
Speaker 1: I always dreamed this would be the way I could just look in a mirror and see a naked lady.

00:03:31
Speaker 5: Now I am the naked lady.

00:03:33
Speaker 1: Naked stop and then and I'd be like, the son, that's my daughter. That's your daughter you're talking about.

00:03:42
Speaker 2: And you're calling yourself sonyah.

00:03:44
Speaker 1: As if I call anybody fucking up. I do call people kids, so I probably but plural. I never do that.

00:03:50
Speaker 5: Solo.

00:03:51
Speaker 1: I'll call you kiddo, and that's about the only person I'll call sometimes.

00:03:54
Speaker 2: You call me kid singular really on the occasion, on the name.

00:04:00
Speaker 1: At time, I'm looking at the making sure everything is recording. We lost a show yesterday, and I ain't done that in a decade. I've been podcasting since two thousand and seven. Naturally, sometimes you wind up losing this show, but you know, fucking when it happens, you're hard fright because you're like, it was all fucking for nothing, boo hoo hoo, even though you had a good time and you're having your conversation.

00:04:21
Speaker 2: At the end of the day.

00:04:22
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, you're like, we got down to fucking show for it, which is like pretty much every conversation you really have ever in life, nothing to show for it but a memory. But in this instance, we were meant to have a fucking show and it was but uh, fucking shit went out technically, So here I am studying making sure both of these fucking things are recording and ship. So if you see me look away and I'm not like fucking bored of this fucking bitch, I'm looking at and out.

00:04:52
Speaker 2: You could have been a guy that would have gone, we have a conversation that isn't.

00:04:58
Speaker 1: Recorded, bro, That's what happens. Though, like podcast it's so fucking long that, like, you know, you do feel like, why would we talk about this when we could like this will make a great podcasts Every conversation should be on Mike at this point. Talk to your mother. When we were doing like plus one, which is podcast I did with Jen my wife for like a while, it was like, you know, we stopped having conversations because the podcast. So in any event, teenage me goes back meets you, but then I fucking finally meet me.

00:05:36
Speaker 2: Right.

00:05:38
Speaker 1: Let me tell you what teenage me would be like. My teenage me would be fascinated, I have a kid.

00:05:44
Speaker 2: Really, not like this is shocking because you thought that the kid was you a second before, and then you found out that that was actually your kid, and now you're meeting you.

00:05:54
Speaker 1: Yes, because kid teenage me could never have put together even if he was like fucking you know, fucking doctor strange portal to him mocking my sling ring and being. But even if he did that, he would still be like spellbound. He would first think you were him. Then he would think, oh my god, I have a hot older girlfriend.

00:06:21
Speaker 3: Whoa Then I would step forward.

00:06:25
Speaker 1: Well now, then Jim would appear, and then he'd be like, oh, her mother seems nice, which is true, she is your mother you maybe often this seems nice thing, but he would be accurate to say that's your mom. Then I would be like, kid, let me disabuse you of all these notions. That's your daughter, that's your wife. And he'd be like, why did I marry such an old woman. I'd be like, what the fuck, bro, look at me.

00:06:57
Speaker 2: Thank god mom doesn't listen to it.

00:07:00
Speaker 1: This is teenage me. But you know what, he would never have said that out lot because he was healed well, he's well healed death before would Momily would be like, she'd give me the look, and she probably count. Like when I was a kid, she'd be.

00:07:14
Speaker 2: Like, one, Momily did that.

00:07:16
Speaker 1: Oh the count, Bro, I lived. I am the man I am today. You exist because of the count because my mother raised me with a count. She never fucking struck. She never laid hands or anything like that, but she was a raise. They've never never laid hands on me. She laid hands on other kids on the of the school parking lot, fucking nuts. So they would have moms come in, you know, periodically, like to be class moms, and watched the kids on the parking lot in the morning and at lunchtime. So that was where we went and had gym if we weren't inside, like in the cafetorium, which is a gymnasium and a cafeteria together. Yeah, it was a small school. We would be out in a parking lot, but all fucking pavement shit, like that's no grass. So they needed to have monitors and teachers are taking their fucking lunch, so moms would come in and volunteer and watch the kids, you know, playing games and ship. Now mamily was known as Hurricane Smith, a true story. She had a reputation. Hurricanes had reputation, and she like, she hit a couple of kids. To be fair, they were bully boys, no girls. But she hit this one kid who later on became a cop. I won't seem Yeah, that was she fucking set him straight. She was like, no crime and he was like, you know what, she fucking that's strange woman who's not my family member hitting me. You gotta remember this in the seventies when like people were smacking fucking kids and it wasn't child abuse, it was discipline or whatever the fuck. So there was you could smack your own kid, and you could get away with smacking somebody else's kid, you know if the parents were like, well, I guess they deserve you know, what I'm saying, that's real fun. The irony is if anyone smacked us, Momily would have fucking cut heads. But she was on the parking I remember particularly, and there was like one guy who was they're playing touch football in their football and the one guy was being fucking tough and my mom like game a warning, and then he fucking toughed out again, like pushed a kid onto the fucking ground. And Momily grabbed this twelve year old boy and she was like mid thirties and fucking gave him the shake in and put through him on the ground next to thee the kid, and she was like, how does that feel? And the nuns at the school were like, missus Smith, we're good you. You don't need to keep coming to watch the kids on the parking lot. The kids would feel much safer if you weren't here.

00:10:00
Speaker 2: Just went home. That so Momily was just serving him some justice, perhaps way too not perhaps certainly far with far too much violence.

00:10:11
Speaker 1: She went too far, but so far that nowadays people would be like, defund Mamaly, like that is it was fucking called for, lady, But wow, it wasn't with like oh that poor nice kid. It was with you know, the bully kid. It was trying to be an asshole, but kids, so twelve year old from seventy kid exactly who's let me see, he's one year older than me, so he'd be like fifty five. It is probably ready to retire from police force and.

00:10:40
Speaker 2: Ship probably still traumatized.

00:10:43
Speaker 1: He's like, you know what, man, I you know, even though his mom roughed me up when I was like twelve, I'm happy for Kevin Smith. He seemed to go far. I'm you know, I'm gonna try out his latest podcast and listen to that, see what it's like. Suddenly he's just like fucking talking about me, talking about his mom smacked me around, said that made me a cut.

00:11:07
Speaker 5: Son of a bitch.

00:11:07
Speaker 1: And he re ups for like five more years because it's like he'll be back in town.

00:11:11
Speaker 2: Oh shit.

00:11:12
Speaker 1: And when he's back in town, I'm gonna fucking ride his ass with justice.

00:11:17
Speaker 3: O lord.

00:11:18
Speaker 1: And I got to pay for Momily's crimes, and sure, oh.

00:11:21
Speaker 2: Momily, maybe that's why I feel like I have to always stand up for justice, you know.

00:11:29
Speaker 1: Because it's in your blood.

00:11:30
Speaker 2: Speak out against injustice. Because Momily, Momily, I didn't even know but Momiley was paving the way.

00:11:38
Speaker 1: Momily had a fierce sense of justice. Momily we were a lower lower, lower, lower, lower, middle class fan Momily does not like me to say, and very blue collar and you know, very fucking you know, hey, man, you'll work and you'll die, and you have a job just so you can pay for the things you love, your family and stuff like that. It's never any sort of like careerism where it was like, oh, what do you want it? Or dreams like what do you want to be when you grow up? And ship like that. So she was like pragmatic as fucking whatnot. And that whole era of raising kids was you know, I'm not to say they didn't like us, but like it's oh no, oh no.

00:12:29
Speaker 3: Oh no, no no.

00:12:31
Speaker 1: That's not you can't be doing that wacky. She's like, my arch nemesis is here. Waky I didn't get a bit away walky oh wucky, No stand by, kids to take hold the dogs before this becomes a problem. The dogs have been seen to. The four thirty movie Kids opens this weekend. It's open right now. Go to fandango dot com. You can find it playing and select theaters near you and This is a movie that I shot at the movie theater that I bought with my friends a couple of years ago, movie theater I grew up going to when I was a kid, movie theater my dad took me to when I was a kid and stuff.

00:13:17
Speaker 5: And it's you know, based on.

00:13:21
Speaker 1: Like childhood memories, adolescent memories. The movie is not about me.

00:13:30
Speaker 3: Kind of is.

00:13:33
Speaker 1: It's nice?

00:13:34
Speaker 5: It is, No, it's good.

00:13:36
Speaker 1: It is as much as Clerks was about me. You know what I'm saying.

00:13:39
Speaker 2: It was.

00:13:43
Speaker 1: Well, let's say the movie is a fictionalized to take an alternate reality version of me. Because the character's main character's name is Brian David. That was the name that my parents were gonna give me. That the whole time I was in utero. They were like, all little Brian David, All little Brian David, Old little Brian David. I lost one before you and one after. She really stays ghost siblings. What were they boy girl little I'll never know? So, uh, they changed their minds once I was born, and not because like, you don't look like a Brian David, but because there was another Brian David born the day before for that day in the hospital. So he was in the nursery and they're like, well, what if they get the babies mixed up? So they pivoted and I wound up being Kevin Patrick. So calling the character Brian David, even though it's like set in the town I grew up in the movie theater I grew up going to.

00:14:41
Speaker 2: And everybody's name is pretty much the same.

00:14:44
Speaker 1: No, the main character Brian David, and he hangs out with his friends Bernie and Bell's I hung out with my childhood friends Ernie and so it's you know, it's very it's it's very I've seen a review or two with it like, oh, it's kind of like the fablements of the Spielberg movie that he made about I.

00:15:10
Speaker 5: You know, I flattered.

00:15:12
Speaker 1: Of course, he's a great filmmaker, one of our best. But I always inspired who so are you? Thank you? Right there with Spielberg's a Smith's kid. But the uh, the oh shit, what was I gonna say? Oh, it's more. I really owe a debt, bigger debt to Paul Thomas Anderson because it was when I saw licorice Pizza, his peon to his youth growing up in the valley, that I was like Oh, that's fucking nifty, Like, that's sweet. There's a history of older filmmakers kind of looking back and stuff like that. But the great irony there is that when I was a kid nineteen ninety nine, Magnolia is out at the same time as dog and Magnolia's got like Oscar buzz and Dogma did. And so somebody on like the message board was like, you know, I was talking about getting oscar screens, and somebody was like, hey, you get the Oscar screener for Magnolia. And I could have just easily ignored that, but instead I went out of my way to answer it. Yes, like like a young jackass I was, and I'm not young. I was like twenty nine. I wrote, uh, yeah, I have Magnolia, and I keep it on my desk as a constant reminder of what bloated self indulgence looks like. Oh, periodically the Internet of my face.

00:16:38
Speaker 2: Yeah bad, I know.

00:16:43
Speaker 1: And what's really bad is I like, I wound up loving Magnolia, but at the time I was so like by it, and I was patty. I was baby filmmaker, maybe enough, though I was four films in I should have known better. Such an adolescent in my like you know, I was. My lessons was frozen at age twenty fucking two twenty three, and so you know, I've been in a world of I mean, I was just nasshole. Like I sometimes I hate young Kevin Smith. I hate watching interviews with him because he's like, hey, man, I can't be bothered to answer this question. Life is so hard in the nineties when you know you're part of the pop cultural irond script.

00:17:25
Speaker 3: Like, he's so really evil.

00:17:28
Speaker 1: I hate it. I hate it so much because current is like hate kids, King of the over Cell. But fucking young Kevin Smith was the under like underselling to the point of, like, I mean, I can't be bothered to talk about clerks, man, it just hurts too much to open my mouth. I'm just so slacking, bro, I got an indie filmmaker, douche, total douche, perm douche. My good I I I you know, carry that like fucking herpes for the rest of my life. That fucking thing I said about Paul Thomas Anderson and Magnolia because the Internet never forgets. And uh yet years later, like it was after I saw Liquor's Pizza, I was like I'm gonna go back and rewatch fucking Magnolia. And I loved it, you know, I capt to it online. I was like, you know, this is awkward, but uh movie and it's a really great movie. And you know, I've met Paul a couple of times in real life. He's always been like super sweet rather than being like, I love Kevin.

00:18:35
Speaker 2: I saw what you said on your message board, no.

00:18:38
Speaker 1: Doubt, But I mean he was smart. He just waited that one out. He wasn't like a big social media guy like I was. I was online since like nineteen ninety seven, post and shit, like before when people were still on dialogue. He was busy making great movies. I was, you know, just making movies, but spending a lot of time.

00:18:54
Speaker 2: Online responding in petty waste.

00:18:58
Speaker 1: Oh I hate young Kevin Spence sometimes. But you know what, Bro, I hate to tell you you were alive. I know, Bro, I was that guy was somebody's dad. You should have been taking care of a baby. But he was like, dear Internet, I'm glad you feel snubbed. So fuck Pta.

00:19:18
Speaker 2: I'm fucking glad you said it because I was thinking, hey, well you were doing.

00:19:25
Speaker 1: That because I'm an entertainer.

00:19:27
Speaker 3: There were two.

00:19:28
Speaker 1: Babies in our house at that. Because I'm an entertainer, my development has been arrested, and I've grown at a slower curve than most in terms of like, oh that's what that means. Oh no, Paul Thomas Anderson, man, like.

00:19:48
Speaker 2: I think that's why we're friends.

00:19:50
Speaker 1: Why because because I'm young, because I'm immature. You may be we may now be of equal maturity level like you at twenty five, and I'm probably so. You think you have the edge, Bro, You don't know from the real world, son, don't let don't make me unpack my fucking leg in the eighties and nineties.

00:20:11
Speaker 5: Bag, Oh god, I come from the real.

00:20:13
Speaker 1: World where motherfucker had to walk beyond a cash register in a convenience store.

00:20:17
Speaker 2: You're being to get off my lawn, guy, yeah, right now.

00:20:20
Speaker 1: And you know, I hate to say this, but like, as a middle aged white man, I feel I haven't gotten my do Oh god, I don't get talked about nothing ever thinks of me. Paul Thomas Sanderson though, to put a nice little bow on that, so ironically, I like, and people are writing nice things about this movie for a change. People are going like that's his best movie in years and shirt, and I'm like, oh, I owe that to the guy who I was once like my dusk mon and it hurts me.

00:20:54
Speaker 5: Oh my god.

00:20:57
Speaker 1: I remember running into him and to bring a point to Garantino fucking again. Before you were in Once upon a Time in Hollywood, this was around the time. Oh fuck, bro, this is going back to like Sean of the Debt, which I think is like celebrating it. It is fifth twentieth twentieth verse. I think maybe more yeah, because Clerk's.

00:21:21
Speaker 2: Started maybe twenty.

00:21:24
Speaker 1: No, it didn't happen the same year as Clerk. Happened like two years later. Because more than that, because Edgar and Simon went to a Q and A that I did in London for Chasing Amy in nineteen ninety six and they were just starting to work on Space at that point TV show. That kind of led to Sean of the Debt. But any event, Quentin is like, I'm having a screen hanging hand and screening this band new movie house Man, and I'm like, fuck, yeah, let's go, so Jennifer and go see it. That's why I don't return my call, Yes, why bro?

00:21:56
Speaker 5: As well?

00:21:56
Speaker 1: I would love to hear is Kevin Smith and Bresh Oh my god.

00:21:59
Speaker 2: Same.

00:22:00
Speaker 5: So we go to the.

00:22:02
Speaker 1: Movies and at his place and it's like Hollywood cool. It's like just a bunch of people hanging out. It's like the barbecues we used to do, but they're all like cinema people ship and him and Paul Thomas Anderson were there, and there's like the first people I encounter when I come in. Naturally, I encounter him. It's his house, but he's sitting there smoking a joint. Paul Thomas Anderson. And this is before I'm a stoner.

00:22:21
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

00:22:23
Speaker 1: So uh He's like, hey man, I'm glad you came. And I was like hey man, I say hey Paul, and he's like hey Kevin, how are you good. Quentin's like, hey, mean you want to hit this? And I was like, ah, no, okay, And the look on both of their fucking faces of like, wait, really we're smoking weed?

00:22:43
Speaker 5: But silence, Bill is not. This don't make sense.

00:22:47
Speaker 4: Oh no.

00:22:48
Speaker 1: And then we all watch Sean of the Dead, which was like a revelationship. Wow, very sweet guy who really like I I'm you know, shouting them out. Without him, I wouldn't have the four thirty movie because he made like Chris Pizza. I was like, oh I want that looks fun? Wow, And I made my flick look at you?

00:23:08
Speaker 2: Look at you being all mature?

00:23:10
Speaker 1: And did I grow?

00:23:12
Speaker 5: Did I learn a lesson?

00:23:13
Speaker 3: Is that what I see as a girl?

00:23:15
Speaker 1: Oh?

00:23:15
Speaker 5: My god? Is that what it feels like to become nineteen again?

00:23:21
Speaker 2: Congratulations? You finally graduated from eighteen to nineteen.

00:23:24
Speaker 1: Well this four thirty movie kids, but you can go see in a movie theater and a Bona five movie theater before it. Eventually, of course, it's digital and streaming and all that stuff. To play the young me? Originally, like this was all born of an idea where I was like, oh, I want to tell a story about my youth. But who better to play the young me than the young me?

00:23:49
Speaker 5: Beardless, diiculous me.

00:23:54
Speaker 2: True?

00:23:55
Speaker 1: And so I approached Charlie at one point about like, do you want to play a young version of me? Like a guy who makes clerks ship? And she was like, I already played John Palcter.

00:24:04
Speaker 2: That's your impression of Indie Douche Kevin. That's not me.

00:24:09
Speaker 1: I've already played John.

00:24:14
Speaker 5: I've already played John.

00:24:20
Speaker 2: I like that impression of me.

00:24:22
Speaker 1: So she was like, no, fuck, I'm not gonna do that. It's a quite great acting challenge. You'll be gentling it, you'll be moo lo oning it, you'll be playing.

00:24:30
Speaker 5: A boy, and that boy is me.

00:24:33
Speaker 1: So people think it's adorable and she's.

00:24:35
Speaker 2: Like, challenge not excepting.

00:24:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, She's like there's adorbs and then there's tragic Dad, like there's cringe. I'm not doing that. I was like, all right, so I have to think of somebody else to play young me. And thankfully my daughter sleeps with actors and proved me wrong.

00:24:54
Speaker 2: One actor.

00:24:56
Speaker 3: Five years.

00:24:57
Speaker 1: So she's been dating this kid, Austin Austin's age or the actor from was that movie?

00:25:02
Speaker 2: He was a scary stories to tell him.

00:25:04
Speaker 1: The scary stories to telling the dark. He was also in Clerk's three True he did the celebrity show off thing with us during the pandemic.

00:25:14
Speaker 5: Son in Lockdown.

00:25:15
Speaker 1: We played like fictional Lis version of himself come to live with us during the pandemic. So I knew him very well, and I you know, on Clerk's three he played block train chain culture. Yeah, and he had like dialogue that I had written and after the first rehearsal. I was like, you know what, Awsome, I'm gonna take all the dialogue away. I was like, the none of the jokes are good enough, man like, and you're the last guy in the room. You're not like legacy returning shit. So everyone's gonna have high expectations and if you don't fucking kill, you're gonna get killed. And I can't do that to you. So I'm gonna take all the dialogue away, which I thought was like a good idea because I was like, we'll just play you like baby Simon Bob, not knowing what it would do to an actor's self esteem.

00:25:58
Speaker 2: Oh terrible.

00:26:03
Speaker 3: Lap doing what it was all rade.

00:26:11
Speaker 2: The unthinkable, not even to get fired, just all your lines, the.

00:26:16
Speaker 5: Coldest red give me.

00:26:22
Speaker 1: But I told him, I was like, dude, this time, I'm taking away all the dialogue. I said, but one day you'll have all the dial And so with the fourth thir Indy movie, I got a chance to make good on that where he has all the dialogues. True and according to the reviews, I mean, look, according to me, I'm the guy that made the fucker like. I love his performance. I think it's great. It breaks my heart. He fucking he wells up in the end, and I well up. And you know, Austin's not doing an impersonation of me by any stretching the imagination, but the earnestness and like it's there, so good, so.

00:26:58
Speaker 2: So the material though this is Yeah, hasn't been saying though this is your most grounded film.

00:27:05
Speaker 1: I would say it is very grounded.

00:27:07
Speaker 2: It's and I think that's a really awesome new direction. It's it's on opposite end of the spectrum from Tusk, Love Tusk, but this adjacent.

00:27:22
Speaker 5: Yeah.

00:27:22
Speaker 2: Actually you could say this is the prequel to Tusk. No, it's could not be more opposite. And I think it's a really cool new direction you're going in.

00:27:33
Speaker 1: You're very sweet. Can you put that in print in like New York Times or something like that.

00:27:37
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll call them.

00:27:39
Speaker 1: That's the generation I come from. Unless they put it in print.

00:27:43
Speaker 2: Does your daughter's words mean nothing to you?

00:27:47
Speaker 1: Kind of? But you're you're like a paid friend. You gotta like me, thank you? Yeah, I don't have to, I know, but you're sweet enough to you were raised well, so you're like death before just courtesy.

00:27:58
Speaker 2: I don't know who I was raised by. Because my dad was in responding to people on the internet.

00:28:03
Speaker 1: I was like, she's good. She good over there, maybe, dear Magnolia fan. So when I'm writing the four thirty movie, which I write knowing I'm gonna shoot at my movie theater when I own with my friends. That's why the whole place is old as fuck. Old movie theater is like one hundred years old, but like the seats, you know, are from the fucking sixties. So I was like, oh my god, we point anywhere, we point a camera as long as we're inside this place. It looks old. We'll get away with the period piece, not like merchant Ivory and Shure like that sense and sensibility level, but we could pass for nineteen eighty six. And so I told this kind of story about like a first date in high school in nineteen eighty six when when I was a kid, and an eventful day at the movie theater. So I write the lead Brian David for Austin, and then I write the lead all Melody Barnegat, and I say to Harley, I was like, so I wrote this for you, so you guys get to act together. And then Harley started the movie and everything worked out.

00:29:15
Speaker 2: And everything went according to your.

00:29:16
Speaker 1: Plan, Harley, very kindly, very politely, because again raised right, I was like, fuck h And I was like, what went?

00:29:34
Speaker 2: What?

00:29:35
Speaker 4: Uh?

00:29:35
Speaker 1: Tell the good folks at home why you passed on the female lead in a major motion picture will rest of Hollywood was reeling from the strike because you were just like, care this trash to someone else?

00:29:51
Speaker 5: Please?

00:29:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what happened for sure. No, I of course feel so grateful and honored that you asked me, and.

00:30:03
Speaker 1: That I there's that well kid right there, she leads with, like, I'm so happy you asked me. Here comes the big butt.

00:30:10
Speaker 2: Though, well, okay, we'll just wait to see. I absolutely recognize how rare it is and how lucky I am to have a part written for me and get the opportunity to and I'm so grateful for it. But I think at the end of the day, it was just a little too close for home and it was already one thing for Austin to kind of be playing you, and it would in that you know, that was my my my mental health.

00:30:47
Speaker 5: Does it sound like your dad?

00:30:49
Speaker 1: Hey, let me try this one out.

00:30:58
Speaker 5: Is this your dad?

00:30:59
Speaker 3: Why?

00:31:01
Speaker 2: Jesus, Yeah, I got it.

00:31:05
Speaker 1: This guy I'm supposed to tell him.

00:31:09
Speaker 2: I hate all of this?

00:31:11
Speaker 1: Was it?

00:31:12
Speaker 2: I didn't?

00:31:13
Speaker 1: Did you swear him off during the making the movie because you were like, he's so much like you, I can't relate to him anymore?

00:31:19
Speaker 2: No, why, no, no, no no. It was very important to Austin to obviously not trying to impersonate my dad.

00:31:29
Speaker 1: He was like, just we're gonna have to make up with the lights on, because I'm afraid that it would sound so much like your father.

00:31:38
Speaker 2: So much. I hate it, and I'm gonna walk away. I hate all of this.

00:31:46
Speaker 1: Finish, tell him why you did?

00:31:51
Speaker 3: Reason? I don't know fucking why. There's just literally someone terrorizing me on the other the table.

00:32:00
Speaker 1: I'm out of an over guy's shoulder, going like you guys kissing real life and you kissing the movie again. You're like, my father's emotional development.

00:32:15
Speaker 2: Stunted at an early age, okay.

00:32:17
Speaker 1: And it's only growing now.

00:32:19
Speaker 2: He's only learning some very early on lessons now. It was I just did not want to play your high school girls far. Call me crazy, but I thought it was maybe a little too goddamn close to home.

00:32:39
Speaker 1: You're like, I've been in therapy since I was twelve one day. I hope to get out of it. I'm never going to get out of this hole. If I play your high school girlfriend my boyfriend, please you? Yes, that's that father's this is a bridge too far.

00:32:55
Speaker 2: It was just it was respect not going to be healthy from all respect.

00:33:00
Speaker 1: I remember like, at first, I was like, what the f And then I spoke to another actor about it. I spoke to Joey Adams. Saw Joey Adams out of con Joey played Alyssa and Chase Gamy and stuff. So I've known Joey for like decades, but you know, an actor. So I'm telling the stories, like you believe this, shy her fucking lean. Joey's like.

00:33:28
Speaker 5: What you did say?

00:33:30
Speaker 1: She'd be playing a version of your high school girlfriend. And I was like, well, I mean yeah, but like, isn't that an acting child? And she's like no, that's the trauma waiting to happen. She was like, Kevin, I would pass on that if I were your daughter. She's got my pass on it as just your friend.

00:33:48
Speaker 5: She's like that, she's right to say no, and.

00:33:50
Speaker 1: I was like she is. I was like, well, but she's I applaut her because I'm so wishy.

00:33:55
Speaker 2: She have to be so fucking wishy, washy.

00:33:58
Speaker 1: Bro, no spy, what's soever? Oh, let me take the temperature of the room. So the kid didn't wind up playing that book, but she did wind up playing sister.

00:34:08
Speaker 2: Sugar Walls, which is I think what I was always born to play was a hook her nun. At the end of the day, tell your mom that.

00:34:20
Speaker 3: I was born to play a hooker mob you thought I was born to play your ex fucking high school girlfriend and before that, play a young version of you. So fuck yourself.

00:34:34
Speaker 1: I didn't think you were born to play that role, but why not play it on your way to you know, fucking the classics like fucking Medea, f Procter.

00:34:44
Speaker 3: All this ship media.

00:34:48
Speaker 5: Like look pop culturally. I'm very proud.

00:34:56
Speaker 1: Of you because you're aware of the work of Tyler parents.

00:35:01
Speaker 6: Yeah, so good on you. You've been paying attention for the last I don't know, twenty five years. He's a pop cultural force. That being said, that was not There is a classical Greek play.

00:35:16
Speaker 1: Performed in the apropol of perhaps called media.

00:35:20
Speaker 2: Oh right.

00:35:20
Speaker 1: Usually actresses actors of female variety dream.

00:35:24
Speaker 2: Of course, but I was more dreaming of the other.

00:35:29
Speaker 1: I mean, you can dream, but I honestly wo touch that role.

00:35:34
Speaker 5: Some shit is not for you. Do you understand, fucking child the privilege you're like one of those, one of those. Some shit is not ours.

00:35:44
Speaker 2: Oh my god, there's a media.

00:35:46
Speaker 1: You could play, not Tyler Perry's media. I don't come after Tyler Perry's like, I'm still doing it. Yes, you don't know how much.

00:35:52
Speaker 5: Money I'm making. He's like James Alabamas pennies compared to the media billions.

00:36:00
Speaker 1: Go to movie studio. He really did off of the back of the media. Anybody that's like, oh, it's so low rent to put on a dress in comedy.

00:36:07
Speaker 5: Fuck you.

00:36:08
Speaker 1: That guy's kind of movie studio guy's a genius.

00:36:12
Speaker 5: I believe me.

00:36:13
Speaker 1: When when as the Rise of Tyler Berry happened, I was like, why did I fucking hook up with Jay? Why didn't I just put on a dress instead? Silent best or something like that.

00:36:24
Speaker 2: No, No, never going to work.

00:36:27
Speaker 1: But uh fucking man, Yeah no, there's another Medea.

00:36:30
Speaker 2: All right, understood.

00:36:33
Speaker 1: Every day's a school day.

00:36:35
Speaker 2: You know you're growing. I'm learning.

00:36:39
Speaker 1: What is my craft interesting?

00:36:43
Speaker 2: Not a media halloween?

00:36:45
Speaker 5: I'm sorry. I don't know this man.

00:36:50
Speaker 1: Sorry to this man, I'm sorry. That's I'm sorry to this I'm sorry. Four thirty movie kids, we've to potential, you know, trip back to the fucking mental hospital or trip for the first time. For you, you've been like they're like, what are you doing here? That's here too soon. You're like, my father made me play his school girl, and like we have a room for you. Kevin Smith, sweet right here, right this way.

00:37:25
Speaker 2: No, I didn't have to I didn't have to go this year or two soon because I have been in therapy for over time.

00:37:32
Speaker 6: You know.

00:37:32
Speaker 1: I remember fucking when you were younger, there was this thought of like, god, this generation so fucking song, like they fucking take offense to everything. Then the older you got, the more I realized, oh, their generation so smart because they deal with their ship like unlike my generation was just like, you know, fucking put it behind you, move forward, fucking happy family, happy family or whatever the fuck. Like your generation like nose to look out for their mental health, whereas my generation, like what mental health? And now it's catching up to a lot of us and we were not prepared for it. So it is. Yeah, in many ways, I think you guys are stronger because you're willing to look at yourselves in ways that like my generation perhaps was not. And I'm a pretty introspective motherfucker. You can go watch that four thirty movie. It's like my head way up my own ass man, Like I'm making my I'm a hero of my own fucking movies and shit, which, to be fair, you should be the hero of your own fucking movie at all times.

00:38:32
Speaker 2: True, but yes, But I also I am very proud of you for going on your It's never too late to start your mental health journey, and I'm very proud of you.

00:38:49
Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Yeah, for the kids, been in therapy since she was twelve.

00:38:53
Speaker 2: And I feel very very lucky and privileged to have been in therapy since I was twelve and to be able to access that help, because I know it's not accessible to everybody, and I definitely feel and recognize that being able to see professional help is absolutely a privilege and something I'm super lucky to have had as a major tool for the past decade and psychiatry for almost as long too.

00:39:26
Speaker 1: So there have been many moments where I'm like, man, she's mature, and it usually is it's about emotional maturity. Yeah, because you far more well equipped for life. Like when I was in Sierra tou Son, I was in the booby hat. The why the boys went out because the fun way to say, because otherwise you're like when I was fucking catatonic in a mental hospital, like so much better be like when I was in the bus so true it was is uh, you know, oh my god, I got here because I didn't have any tools to ye fucking deal with this and I didn't know things. Now I just know more about myself now. It's not like they curiate where I walked out. I'm like, oh, everything's changed. But if you can identify your behaviors, that's a big fucking step or you know, these mood swings or whatever fuck or the headspace you're in.

00:40:20
Speaker 2: Your mental health is also something that you constantly have to work towards, just like your physical health. Like you have to work out.

00:40:28
Speaker 1: I've only started doing in the last few years.

00:40:30
Speaker 2: But you're doing so great with both now.

00:40:32
Speaker 1: But better snake than lover.

00:40:34
Speaker 2: It's not like you, you know, go to therapy a few times or go to the booby hatch or somethen like you're like it's a it's something you constantly have.

00:40:45
Speaker 1: To work towards, and it just if you know why you do things. You know, they trace stuff back to like childhood, They trace stuff back to like traumatic moments in your life. You know that we're things registered and stayed with you and stuff.

00:41:04
Speaker 5: You know.

00:41:04
Speaker 1: It's like when I left the place, they were like, hey, don't wait a lifetime to come back, and I was like, you know what, that's like sound advice? RH I wish when I was in When I was in the booby Hatch, there was a kid there who was young, like fucking seventeen eighteen, and I was like, oh, Like some people were like, that's so sad, and I'm like, that ain't fucking sad. Like now that I know what you could get in this place, Yeah, I wish i'd fucking gone nuts when I was seventeen eighteen, which he didn't need go nuts. Not everyone in there was crazy. Some people were substance abuse, some people were this that. But to have had the tools that they gave me at age seventeen eighteen, like you had through, oh my god, it would have been a valuable It's invaluable, Like it's something they should really, like, you know, life is hard man for everybody, and every like fucking ten, fifteen, twenty years or something. People should be forced not to like go crazy, but to like, you know, fucking put it all down.

00:42:06
Speaker 2: It's about looking at yourself, look an honest look. And thankfully now there are more accessible services online for therapy and psychiatry because it has been something that is not accessible to everybody for a long time, and thankfully now it is becoming more so, which is really amazing because I think everybody should take the time to look inward and really be honest with themselves and address the current state of their of their mind and their mental health.

00:42:39
Speaker 1: I got you've always been that cat though, You've always even when like I was like, you know, this is she Like I remember asking Jim from time to time like she's still going to that to bath? Said yeah. I was like when's that end? She's like probably never, is it? Really? She's like yeah, but I think that's kind of fun. Like Jennifer benthic therapy and stuff, and so she had her own opinions and whatnot. But now like I'm like, oh my god, why would you ever stop? It's all about mini maintenance along the way. Yeah, Like if I had been doing what you were doing, I wouldn't have had a fucking complete break with reality. It's like a car, right, It's like, if you fucking tend to it, fix it, keep it up, you know, you can drive it for a long time. But if you never do anything like fucking get an oil change, pocasm or whatever to fuck change in tires, you can't be surprised when the car, like literally one day just breaks down and stops, and then it's usually very costly and time consuming to put it back on the road and stuff. But instead, now I would you know, I just go to therapy. I leave work behind more than I did back in the day and whatnot. And I can identify, like, oh, this feeling is coming from there, like I'm not mad at this or I don't like this is not the focus of what's making the upset. If I step back, it's more about this.

00:44:11
Speaker 2: You know, I've seen it happen in real time. I'm very proud of you.

00:44:16
Speaker 1: I was, honestly like some of the coolest shit you ever said to me, like when I was in the stir in the Booby Hedge, because you were like oh man, you're saying ship like I been wishing you would say for like a decade because I was finally catching up with what like you already knew. And it was so weird because in that instance, it's like, well the parent, the child has become parents the parent.

00:44:39
Speaker 2: It's honestly say, it's the same way you would like make fun of me for being a vegan all that shit, And.

00:44:50
Speaker 1: I felt so much pity for you because you would you can't eat anything, like we would go to we'd be at Morton's Steakhouse and be like, spoor k I needed things.

00:45:00
Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, because you brought me to a fucking steakhouse.

00:45:03
Speaker 1: I could if we went to a vegan restaurant or.

00:45:06
Speaker 2: Like literally anywhere that's not his fucking steakhouse.

00:45:09
Speaker 1: I was like, bring her a half a head of iceberg lattice, put cheese on it. She's like, but yeah, you were, you know, and time to go first. Many times you're like a little.

00:45:20
Speaker 2: Ashk oh, thanks, But then now now look at you many years deep in veganism.

00:45:27
Speaker 1: And six and a half years used to be happy.

00:45:30
Speaker 2: Now hey, but the same for mental health. You used to not understand why I was on an antidepressant, not understand why I would go to therapy psychiatry. You didn't understand any of it, and now you totally do, Like.

00:45:49
Speaker 1: You got antidepressant please.

00:45:53
Speaker 2: But also I just kind of realized while talking for the first time that basically you neglected your mental and physical health for so long that it led to two like major events that forced you to change, which is crazy and really like makes you the perfect person to talk about. Oh yeah, like it's because it in your Obviously, we all fucking know you're We're so lucky that you're still here. Like you really overcame too, really like huge explosions.

00:46:37
Speaker 1: My heart blew up and then my head.

00:46:39
Speaker 2: Blew yeah literally yeah, and both were.

00:46:42
Speaker 1: Like taken to the limit when it Yeah, it wasn't like somebody is like by the way you might want to stop or something.

00:46:48
Speaker 2: You were pushing yourself till you could not anymore.

00:46:52
Speaker 1: Two different hospital.

00:46:53
Speaker 2: Literally, Wow, that's pretty crazy. And look at you now, not in a hospital.

00:46:59
Speaker 1: Not in life comes down to in a hospital, not a hospital, And that's honestly the best you can hope for. Honestly, God man, put that on a fucking shirt.

00:47:11
Speaker 3: Is that our slop closed the show.

00:47:14
Speaker 1: Man, fucking like, uh, bugging you, life is fuck I forgot what it was already.

00:47:23
Speaker 2: Life comes down to are you in a hospital?

00:47:26
Speaker 1: The hospital? It's not a great people like the medical show show. I mean, I wish they'd go back to talking about John Proctor. That was my favorite party. I have a new part of the show, and this is how we'll end the show. It's a thing that we could do every episode. It's like a spine that we could always kind of build upon and whatnot. And it's not a game, but it's kind of a fun pastime. I was gonna call it love it, where you talk about something you're passionate about, because it's you know, a lot of people fucking bitch nowadays. You know, that's what social media seems to be primarily for either showing off how awesome your life is or shitting on somebody else's life and everything else. So in the interest of fucking pouring a little positivity out there, I wanted to do love it, where we just talk about things we're passionate about every week or shove it, which is not like or the things we hate, is more about like the things we can you know, fucking do without or less of and shit like that things were working on or whatever. So I thought I was so clever. However, I love it or shove it is like all over the internet. I did a quick search and I was like, well, of course it is. It's easy. So I went through variations and came up with this this one. It's called passion or ration. So it's the thing you're passionate about, or the thing you could ration do with less of in your life. Something where you're like more of this, less of everything else, and then something where you're like less of this, more of everything understood. I will go first passion. My passion this week is the dog park. The dog park is over by Loyal Canyon and it's where I bring Lucky and Birdie, the two German shepherds, mostly every day. In fact, once we're done recording, I think we're going to bring the dogs over to the park.

00:49:24
Speaker 5: Me and Jen go.

00:49:25
Speaker 1: And it reminds me, I like, number one, the joy that the dogs, you know, fucking have, and just being outside of the house is everything and being the doorway to that joy, Like you know, that's fucking way on brand for stuff. Being responsible for somebody else's happiness is literally what I do. And the dogs, like you just want to make them happy, and when they're happy, they're fucking they're bully and shit. And because of that, like these motherfuckers kill for me, like they've you know, they like your mother, but oh look they're in this fucking room, man, you got to be and shit like that.

00:50:01
Speaker 2: Once again, thank god mom doesn't listen to our podcast.

00:50:07
Speaker 1: So I love going to the dog park, but it reminds me, I figured out, reminds me of my mom and dad used to go down to the harbor in Atlantic Highlands, one town over from where we lived when I was a kid, where the Atlantic Islands movie theater is. The Smodcastle Cinema is very shot before thirty movie now you can now see. But they used to go down to the harbor to the marina and just like parked bar and walk around and bullshit one night. And they've been married at that point for like easily fifteen twenty years, and I always thought that was kind of charm, like, oh they can still fucking stand to hang out with one another. And that's what going to the dog park, I think at the roote reminds me of. I'm like, oh, this is kind of like where my parents were in life at that point. So I like it. So that's my that's my passion, My what's my ration is uh, feeling irrelevant? You know, most of my job is predicated on pop cultural relevancy. If nobody knows me or gives no fuck about me, then I really don't have a job anymore, particularly because I became my job for a living start as a director, but now I'm just Kevin Smith for a living. So my job is only as valuable as my pop cultural currency or my cultural relevancy. And as we release a movie and release a brand new podcast, it's always a moment, you know, where one has to face their relevancy, like is anybody going to show up to the Movie's very easy to do, very easy metric with a movie, it's like does anybody come? And a podcast is also an easy metric is anybody listening? So going out there into the arena is always kind of like frightening and going out there into the arena and like at this age, you know, thirty years into a career, the thirtieth anniversary of Clarks this year and shit like that, it makes me go, like, is anybody gonna care. And I can't stand that feeling, and I could do with less of it because it does preoccupy a lot of my time. And all I need to do is not do that, because that's destructive thinking don't help, Like I should just pour myself into Whenever I'm writing, I'm feeling like relevant, creatively relevant, and really then it's like I don't give a fuck. I'm just thrilled with what I'm doing and it doesn't matter who's eventually going to see it as I'm creating it and stuff. So yeah, I could do with less of feeling irrelevant, but I guess we all do. Everyone wants to feel. You know. An important part of the conversation.

00:52:44
Speaker 2: You got to take your own advice.

00:52:46
Speaker 1: Bruh, what is that?

00:52:47
Speaker 2: The past is depression, the future is anxiety.

00:52:51
Speaker 1: Got that from the nuthouse. The movie Hatch taught me that, man, past is depression. Can't change it to happen. You can learn from it. That's important, you should. But dwelling on it, Oh, living in your head inside the past what a fucking double waste of time because you can't do it. And you know, if you go back in time and reminisce, you know, fucking you know, wallowing nostalgia. Sure, that's fine, but like going back to be like, why did I say that? Why did they say that? Why didn't I do that thing when I had the chance? Why if I like, don't reletigate your life, kids, like, learn from your mistakes, move forward, Stay the fuck out of the past. Future is fraught with anxiety.

00:53:31
Speaker 2: Stay out of there too.

00:53:32
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you don't know what's gonna happen. And we all become brilliant writers when it comes to making up our unfortunate futures, where we're like, all the bad things are going to happen and shit, which you don't know to be the case at all. Nobody knows the future. So if you're just gonna make up some shit, make up good shit, be like, oh my god, everything's going to work out in the future, it has just as much a chance of being true. But the best healthiest place to live inside your head is never in the future. Either stay that past or the future. Yes, stay in bred.

00:54:00
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

00:54:01
Speaker 1: We miss so much of the present but here and now because we're fucking spending so much time thinking about what happened, religating the past, thinking, wondering what's going to happen in the future, fearing the future, and the best part of it is the here and now. Everything else is like the dwelling in the past is a snapshot. It's looking at something that already happened. It's not experiencing it, and fucking you know, trying to predict what's going to happen and fucking complete fabrication, waste of time. But here and now all the good shit happens and the bad shit. But like, if you're going to be anywhere in your head, be here, be mindful. In order to do that, you breathe and through your nose about your mouth. Do that five times, and it grounds you, they said, because because I was like why, And they're like, because you can't breathe in the past, and you cannot breathe into the future. You can only breathe right here in the present. I like that. They're full of fucking ship that'd be good on a dish towel or a mug. So true that one of those positivity stores, you know, like fucking a penny saves.

00:55:12
Speaker 2: A penny, the present, gift.

00:55:14
Speaker 1: President the present, and what the present? What is it that's why they call it the present.

00:55:23
Speaker 2: Because it's a gift.

00:55:24
Speaker 1: Yes, they call it the present because it's a gift. And when they said that ship to you, you know, you're like, they're like, wait a second, those are the booies that you start grabbing onto as you swim back to the shore. You know, fucking in your head, you're just out to fucking see but hearing like something like that, just being able to grab onto that concept, which again is simple, And it's not like this is a concept that eludes many. It clearly doesn't, but for some of us maybe it does. In that moment, dopey ship like that made all the fucking difference. So yeah, I guess some of the answer is just like be creative and then you won't even think about that ship. So anyway, that's my passion, that's my ration. You got passion and a ration.

00:56:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a passion, right, passion.

00:56:12
Speaker 1: I want to play the classics. I want to play all the Tyler Perry classics.

00:56:17
Speaker 2: You're talking. I was thinking about that.

00:56:21
Speaker 5: It's like, wow, I want you to call it.

00:56:25
Speaker 1: Acting coach Deba and be like like, yes, Harley, while there is another medea. I just wasn't clear there was a O G as well, I just what is it? What's your passion?

00:56:42
Speaker 2: But right now I'm going to say that my passion is making music because it's been what it's what I've been up to lately.

00:56:50
Speaker 1: Make the music with the mouthes. Make the music with the mouth O.

00:56:58
Speaker 5: All right?

00:57:00
Speaker 1: Are you beat boxing that you're doing? You and a couple of friends getting together, and like that's not actually bad. I've been around since the eighties, that's pretty good. What kind of music you're working on?

00:57:17
Speaker 2: Grunge?

00:57:18
Speaker 1: Is it grunge? I would say, I think about grunge? Yeah, it was fucking King of the nineties for a red hot minute.

00:57:23
Speaker 5: I was a kid and a king Baker. You've heard of bad Apple like that too?

00:57:30
Speaker 3: Not David jasically mus Please?

00:57:36
Speaker 1: What kind of music?

00:57:39
Speaker 2: As I just told you, which then spun.

00:57:41
Speaker 3: Into whatever.

00:57:45
Speaker 1: We'll do it Singapore.

00:57:47
Speaker 2: No, but you always want me to sing on the fucking podcast.

00:57:51
Speaker 3: If you're nearly talk on the podcast.

00:57:54
Speaker 1: If you're a singer and there's a mic in front of you, how come you're not just like into the fat? Do you have you ever performed? You have performed a lot?

00:58:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, bro, you've been there.

00:58:08
Speaker 1: I have but not with this new formation. No, because you know the band you performed live with that I saw it was very poppying up and stuff like that.

00:58:15
Speaker 2: You called bubble gum bubble gum punk punk. It was not pop.

00:58:19
Speaker 5: My bad.

00:58:19
Speaker 1: I'm sorry many pop, but this as much as you say much, it's grunge much so it's much more more swaying.

00:58:27
Speaker 2: I'm yelling and stuff, and you yell a lot, I do yell.

00:58:32
Speaker 1: Do do you leave your eyes open or close when you sing?

00:58:37
Speaker 2: That's so funny.

00:58:38
Speaker 1: I'm so curious.

00:58:41
Speaker 2: We'ren't really feeling it. My eyes are closed, I feel like, but you.

00:58:44
Speaker 1: Go all Ricky Nelson, Ricky Nelson like he was a teenage heart throb in the fucking fifties. He was one of the sons on the Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. He became like a fucking legit singer, like he was on the show singing, and then he became fucking rick Nelson and ship and he he is responsible for that wonderful song guarded Party, a win to a garden party to reniss with my friends.

00:59:12
Speaker 5: When he sang on the show.

00:59:15
Speaker 1: Because they didn't have MTV back then and shit, so they would show him singing out the show. Whenever he was at the microphone, he would do that shit close his eyes by saying, and you know, I'm sure he's not the first one to ever do it, but because he did it on TV and people saw it, and TV was such a powerful medium, he's probably the artist people associated with. But something tells me, like most fucking good things of music, it was probably taking my different culture altogether.

00:59:45
Speaker 2: That is true.

00:59:46
Speaker 1: But that being said, is that an affectation or when one is singing, like, does that help you go higher? Like if I close my eyes, I can go a little higher or louder or whatever.

00:59:57
Speaker 2: Fuck No, I think, well, when I'm yelling, my eyes are closed, because if they were open, that's weird.

01:00:08
Speaker 1: No one wants to close look away from That's true on stage, motherfuckers, when they scream sing, they're usually like eyes closed.

01:00:18
Speaker 2: It takes a lot. I'm like the scene from my gut, so it's it's really like using my fucking asps.

01:00:28
Speaker 1: It takes a lot. I'm singing from my.

01:00:31
Speaker 2: Am, it takes a lot of you're singing to the back of the room. I'm really like pushing, pushing.

01:00:39
Speaker 1: And so it's eyes closed, or you might accidentally ship yourself. That is what I just said, clenching all around.

01:00:47
Speaker 2: What if I shipped myself.

01:00:48
Speaker 5: While you were singing?

01:00:49
Speaker 1: Would that be like a huge honor? No that you didn't like technically, you literally left it all on the stage, So true, slides down your pant leg and ship.

01:01:01
Speaker 2: I feel like this sounds like kind of familiar, Like somebody did take a ship off the stage recently, did they?

01:01:06
Speaker 1: Yeah?

01:01:06
Speaker 2: I kind of feel like they did, but I can't remember anyways.

01:01:09
Speaker 1: And then g Allen used to do it all the time. Really yeah, that was part of his fucking ship shipped on stage on stage.

01:01:17
Speaker 2: That is just not what I'm going for.

01:01:20
Speaker 1: But we were in Ralph's the other night and we went to pick up Hollywood.

01:01:28
Speaker 2: She's gonna be so pitch.

01:01:31
Speaker 1: We're picking up Gail Jen's mom my mother in law, Harley's grandma Nana went through a procedure and so we were bringing her some candy unless she sits around like to snack out on and stuff. So we go to Ralph's and I tend to move very fast in a place in public.

01:01:53
Speaker 2: I just really really do.

01:01:56
Speaker 5: I have a pretty brisk page.

01:01:57
Speaker 2: No one can keep up with this man at an airport.

01:02:01
Speaker 1: She I just I'm used to traveling alone, and the faster I moved. Then if it's like, hey, man's the sawing Bob's like, yeah, over my shoulder. As I'm still moving forward and stuff.

01:02:10
Speaker 2: In order to keep up with you, I I actually have to jog, break a.

01:02:14
Speaker 1: Little sweat and s Truly, your mom doesn't feel the need so much to keep up with me, so she'll just like lag back and stuff. So she was like lagging about an aisle or two back as we entered the store, and they were playing Florya Estefan Miami sound Machine Conga. Okay, so you know, I was walking briskly, and I knew she was behind me, and I knew she was like I could feel her eyes seering into me, like why aren't you waiting? But I wanted to get the candy and get the fuck out before the place cloths and shit. So I knew she was behind me. I knew she was looking, and so on the last beat of Conga, like conga, I do that Conga and then then then dent dent on the dent lest dent, I busted a fucking move, like out of nowhere and shit, and like Jennifer started like cracking up so fucking hard, which was charming in and of itself. But what was really fun is like she she was laughing so far, she was crying, and then she came over to me and she was laying on and she was.

01:03:12
Speaker 5: Like, I peede a little and I was like, damn that skill.

01:03:18
Speaker 3: You so got it all right.

01:03:23
Speaker 1: Music is your passion. Music in my NiFe.

01:03:26
Speaker 2: It's bring me a lot of happiness these days making music again. I can't wait to put it out.

01:03:33
Speaker 1: Sing Us.

01:03:34
Speaker 2: You sing a lot on the podcast.

01:03:36
Speaker 1: Sing out Loud.

01:03:38
Speaker 4: You know that song, Yeah, sing out, don't worry if it's not good enough for anyone else to hear.

01:03:51
Speaker 1: Just see sing that song, you know, and then you do the fucking backup you.

01:04:04
Speaker 4: Pizza pizza man.

01:04:11
Speaker 1: No ticket now now you go.

01:04:14
Speaker 2: Anyways on my ration, bro, I'm not participating in this.

01:04:22
Speaker 1: Everyone wants to hear here a good little kids singing, scream singing, scream singing the way you sing your gun.

01:04:28
Speaker 2: Song, I hate. I kind of like that.

01:04:38
Speaker 1: There you go. You could cover it with your band. Honestly, it sounds like Carter butt like, but life is God. I always thought the carpenter just put feeling into him and Jesus. All right, So that's your passion, what's your ration?

01:04:53
Speaker 2: My ration is having friends come and go in your life. In my life, I've I've had to say goodbye to a few people over the years.

01:05:11
Speaker 1: Do you mean like pour one out on the pavement, like you've lost friends in la fucking violence or something. I know you're talking about.

01:05:19
Speaker 2: Just like just found out that I just phoned out. They're kind of the fucking worst And that happens still, oh just the other month. I mean, I've had so many people come and go out of my life, and because I I just haven't been able. I can't really just let things slide.

01:05:48
Speaker 1: That i'd your little mamma, your crusader for justice. I like grabbing kids on the parking lot and throw.

01:05:55
Speaker 5: What are you doing? Like?

01:05:56
Speaker 1: What are you doing?

01:05:57
Speaker 2: Just to be clear, I'm not doing that.

01:06:00
Speaker 1: I go, ladies, my kid on the ground.

01:06:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I just really I can't stand to be fucked over. See people I love be fucked over, or people I don't know be fucked over. I really don't. I can't stand it. I really can't get a strong sense of justice. I just really cannot stand idly byble people are fucked over and I have Because of that, I had to say goodbye to the few few people who I considered best friends, many people I considered best friends over the years, and it happened again recently, and it just it really it hurts.

01:06:42
Speaker 1: And and you know why why why? But I know that I know what you're talking about, like I hear, I know, I know. I'm familiar with the drink you're born. I too have been up in my cups as they say, is that what they say say in my cups or whatever?

01:07:01
Speaker 2: I have no idea what it's when.

01:07:04
Speaker 1: You drink a lot? That like he was in his cups when you drink a lot. Yeah, it's an expression I heard recently in his cups. It was like way in his cups, meaning like, well that's a hair, okay. I was like a kid, an overly sensitive kid that was just like I care more about my friends than my friends care about me. I am sad to report that never changes. I'm fifty four and I still have feelings like that. I'm like let down again. And now I realized too that like I'm not an idiot, like I'm sure I've let people down too, but it's crushing for me if I know that. And when I do know it, I fucking try to make up for ship because because the way I was raised. But it'll be with you for a lifetime, like and it will always confound you because you're always like, why why don't they think like me? Why don't they feel like me? And then but you have to realize over time or never let yourself forget, because that's what makes you you. That's why you're special, That's why you're not those people, because you're you, because you do value friendship and more than fucking most and stuff like that. It's not as mutable and transient as it is for some people, and you know that's to be applauded. You know how to put up a boundary.

01:08:34
Speaker 2: It'd be a lot easier sometimes if I could just.

01:08:38
Speaker 1: Go with the flow.

01:08:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I just can't.

01:08:41
Speaker 1: You know what happens. Then you wind up in a mental hospital at age fifty fucking whatever, fifty three.

01:08:46
Speaker 2: That's true. Boundaries are healthy things in the world.

01:08:50
Speaker 1: Man, telling you, it's fucking like something that I have an inability, fundamental inability to put a boundary I say yes to everybody. I'm a people pleasing, codependent yes, ma'am, So you being able to say no, that was it happened. Recently. We were having a thing about the what to call the podcast. We grew the podcast beyond the walls of that Kevin Smith Club, which if you like this, oh my god, go to that Kevin Smith Club. We got thousands of hours of podcasts behind that wall. But we were growing the show and before we took it out in the world, iHeart liked the show and they were like, bring it here. So we were like, great, let's do it on our heart. Man. I was like, we got to change the title to this, and I had an idea for the title that I fucking absolutely lot. I was like, Oh, this will punch through and fucking catchy and people will fucking tune in and it. Harley was like, I don't want to do that, and I was like, I'm all right. And then later on I went back at it. I was like, wait, I got a very Asian on it, and this is even fucking better and blah blah blah, and she was like, I'm not saying no. Let me think about it. And then she thought about it, and she was like, yeah, I can't do it, and I was so like fucking wigged out about the both. I was like what, like what the fuck? Man? Like, fucking she says no to me. And then the next day me and her drove around and talked and stuff, and I went from.

01:10:08
Speaker 5: Like I'm not getting what I want.

01:10:11
Speaker 1: Which like, as a creative, that's what I'm used to, Like you have the life of a grown child. It's like I want to do this, and people like, all right, here's a million dollars. Shut the fuck up, ade please, So you know, I couldn't see past not getting what I wanted, which was for the good of the podcast. It wasn't just selfishly I wanted because I wanted, but I was like to be great for the podcast. But what I fail to see until that moment was like, oh my god, the fuck our podcast fuck a title like this is your one and only begotten child. And she just showed enormous fucking spine that you could never in your life show your whole fucking life. You've never been able to be that person, and as a parent, you just hope that the fucking your kid's life is fifty percent better than yours. That's a tall old because my life's been pretty fucking good and shit. But it ain't about like the trappings of a life. It's not about like, man, I hope your house is as much square fucking footage. The fifty percent better than you is about like, I hope you don't have the shit that I have. I hope you don't carry the darkness that I carry. It's you know, it doesn't have to be darkness like I'm a fucking drug abuse or a fucking I'm like. My father was insecure because he was born with a cleft lip and a cleft palate and stuff, and so that passed on to me. And that type of insecurity means that I'm like, I'm only valuable to people if I'm doing stuff for him. If not, they won't like me. And so I say, yes, I'm a fucking huge pushover. To know that my kid is better at that shit than me, that she won't fall prey to the same shit that I've fallen prey to my whole life. That made me so fucking happy. I was like, oh my god, that's the huge fucking win. And the title is a title. You can find another title that we did beardless dickless me, which is fun to say beardless dickless me, and it's also very catchy in terms of like punching through a crowded marketplace, someone will be like, uh, what does that mean? Yeah, all those words together, I gotta try it. And if they find a charming, fantastic and if they don't find his charming, no title was ever gonna change that. Yeah, But more importantly, just seeing you be like no to like fucking like the one guy in the world, the one person in the world is like, oh fucking I've done nothing but fucking set the table for her and make sure she's taken care of them, so of course she'll say yes. And to have you be like even you dad, like this is a bridge too far from me. As much as I love you, No, for me, I can't do this. That was and still remains like one of my favorite moments of twenty twenty four. I'm like, she can be okay, she can be all right, like she can stand up for herself. So I was very happy.

01:13:06
Speaker 2: I just would hug you if there wasn't big table tweet. That means a lot, and it was not easy and I truly truly can't stand the thought of letting you down. Ever, it is excruciating. You're very sweet, and it was very it was uh, it was really difficult, but ultimately great.

01:13:29
Speaker 1: Things came from I would say. So, all right, so you've done your passion and your ration, but the ration. Do you feel like you've said enough on the subject of fucking I mean friends?

01:13:41
Speaker 2: We could we could all about it friends.

01:13:47
Speaker 1: Why now you can look the word up again and again. But the dictionary doesn't know the meaning of friends.

01:13:58
Speaker 5: Friends.

01:14:00
Speaker 1: How many of us have them? Your generation need a little Houdini and then you would have been fine.

01:14:07
Speaker 2: So true, I was raised.

01:14:09
Speaker 1: Look at me, I can go crazy. Tell it's fifty two or something like that.

01:14:14
Speaker 2: You got a point.

01:14:16
Speaker 1: Well, you know what, man, if you lose a friend because you put up a boundary, and that boundary is who you are, I ain't gotta tell you. I ain't got to tell you, John Proctor, So you will never have to tell any woman to give me back my name because you'll never give your name up.

01:14:30
Speaker 2: So fucking drew period credits.

01:14:39
Speaker 1: All right, So now we do a speed round a passion I ration, which is just like we fucking say things and you say passion rationing like hot or not, but it's like passionate rash huh So no deep dive, just like simple concepts. For example, we'll go back and forth. I'll start with Celsius the drink.

01:14:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it does have a does have a I need a little bit of an explanation.

01:15:04
Speaker 1: No passion irration. It's a binary choice. You're either like, oh my god, I love it, more of this, less of everything else, or you're like, less.

01:15:11
Speaker 2: Of this, more of everything Celsius. Uh, Celsius in ration passion, but in ration can't.

01:15:20
Speaker 1: Do both binary equation one or the other.

01:15:23
Speaker 2: Because my dad drinks way, way, way, way too many ration for my dad drinking them. I'm just going to expose you for a second, because everybody you did not know that Celsius was an energy drink.

01:15:40
Speaker 1: I tell the story. Then you fucking put me in the same category as to Code of fucking Johnson. Did you see the story?

01:15:45
Speaker 5: I did same things.

01:15:46
Speaker 1: She was like, they said it was a It was literally I was founded more than her.

01:15:50
Speaker 2: You were drinking.

01:15:54
Speaker 1: The tasty.

01:15:57
Speaker 2: Do you know how many people are ending up in the hospital because of Celsius?

01:16:00
Speaker 1: Not this one?

01:16:01
Speaker 5: But I don't drink ten a day anymore.

01:16:02
Speaker 1: Trust me. When you pointed that out the kid, you know, the kid turned me on to it. She's like, it's vegan. I was like, yeah, it's vegan and shit. And then one day she was like I would crack like multiples in front of her and she was like, how many of those have you drank today? And I was like, I think there's a seven eight. She was like, Dad, it's an energy drink. I was like, I feel very energetic. She was like, you're a heart attack victim ten ten. Yeah, So it's like essentially drinking like ted red Bulls. It just doesn't taste as synthetic as red bullet ever tasted, which and I don't like red bull I'm not an energy drink guy. So this Selsie's people really cracked the coat. So if you were asking me, I'd be like, Pasha, that is.

01:16:42
Speaker 2: Two thousand milligrams of caffeine. The daily limit is four hundred.

01:16:49
Speaker 1: Where does it all go? I don't drink coffee, like, I don't have caffeine in any other way in my life here toofore, you know, unless it comes in chocolate or something. But I was never a coffee guy.

01:16:59
Speaker 2: I'm just so glad this has been said so that I don't have to bear this cross.

01:17:06
Speaker 1: I believe me. When I read that please go after him, I was like, please, I'm the smartest d Coda Johnson.

01:17:13
Speaker 2: Hey, she's great, and.

01:17:15
Speaker 1: Didn't say she wasn't great. I just said the smartest Coda Johnson.

01:17:17
Speaker 5: I'm double her age.

01:17:19
Speaker 1: I should be smart, is my point. Well, it's not so much, you know, chewing her intelligence level as much as going like, yeah, I'm as smart as a young person.

01:17:29
Speaker 2: She's very smart. And anyway, okay, mine.

01:17:33
Speaker 1: I forgot on this show. We don't come.

01:17:35
Speaker 2: At hey, all right, Passion Irration, long haired dogs. I know, I just wanted to expose.

01:17:51
Speaker 1: Your el those long haired dogs themselves.

01:17:55
Speaker 2: You really don't like like.

01:17:57
Speaker 1: The long haired doctions particularly, It's like, oh no, oh no, who do you think you are? They think they're all that, those long haired dogs? Yeah? Ration, get my haircut, honestly. Yeah, okay, Passion or ration podcasts? Passion, Yeah for doing them or listening to them?

01:18:20
Speaker 2: Oh for doing them?

01:18:21
Speaker 1: Oh what about listening to them? You have no time for people's bullshit?

01:18:28
Speaker 2: Well you could I just am listening to YouTube instead. Could be? Could be? It might as well be a podcast. I'm not really watching it.

01:18:40
Speaker 1: Technically a pod. Some people call it blog. Yeah all right, yeah, all right, now you go.

01:18:47
Speaker 2: Okay, same same vibe as last one. Hairless cats, passion ration passion.

01:18:56
Speaker 5: Hairless cats.

01:18:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's I'm not saying too but definitely ration you know one per state.

01:19:04
Speaker 5: Whoa what.

01:19:07
Speaker 2: They're so cute? They look like weird little krimlins.

01:19:12
Speaker 5: Stopped it weird?

01:19:13
Speaker 1: They just yeah, they look undone. Put that back in the oven. It needs another ten minutes. Oh my god. Put some plants, some fucking some some sprouts on that chia pet.

01:19:26
Speaker 2: Wait, this is just small side. I don't know if this has any validity to it or not, but I just like this idea. Someone I heard recently that Calico cats like Carl.

01:19:40
Speaker 1: Carl is Harley's one of Harley's many.

01:19:42
Speaker 2: Fucking one that's Carl, the ones that are like white and orange and black. And apparently how much of the colors the Calcoves end up having like mixed in with their white is like how along they were they were baking for Yeah, yes.

01:20:12
Speaker 1: That is baked. You shouldn't let me in to cook the hairless cats. Good Christ, all right, passion or ration?

01:20:27
Speaker 5: Uh hm, the debate?

01:20:31
Speaker 2: Oh my, did you watch it?

01:20:33
Speaker 1: I did? I did. I mean it's over, So I guess you can't passionate ration that. Yeah, all right, so let's just make it a general election news passion irration.

01:20:44
Speaker 2: I want to be up to date.

01:20:46
Speaker 1: So passion, I guess, convincing passion, I guess.

01:20:49
Speaker 2: I guess.

01:20:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's something that it has become a passion but really should be ration. But yeah, two more months, good, two more months and then hopefully we get to talk about elections again in the future. Yeah, so I'm gonna I can think of two down on so true. All right, you go, passion ration?

01:21:11
Speaker 2: What passion or ration? Chipotle?

01:21:16
Speaker 1: Chipotle is a triple A. I was like, when your car breaks down, passion Chipotle?

01:21:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you like it or no?

01:21:25
Speaker 1: Ration?

01:21:26
Speaker 2: Really?

01:21:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, I never go.

01:21:28
Speaker 2: There unless they want to be a sponsor for the show.

01:21:31
Speaker 1: But I never go there unless I go with you. It's never.

01:21:35
Speaker 2: But I only go if we're in like Florida and it's.

01:21:38
Speaker 1: A place where there's no real kan food or something like. Yeah, Ration, I like their beans, but I'm just like I would rather go to if I was going to buy you know fast food, fucking Mexican. I'd rather go to ah Fresh Family Classic. It's been around decades.

01:21:55
Speaker 2: And any vegan options though.

01:21:58
Speaker 1: True, Yeah, that's true, but Bell has got the option. That's also not like a first choice for me. But like when I'm in a place where there's no vegan.

01:22:08
Speaker 2: Options choice for you, I would eat Taco Bell every single day if I could.

01:22:14
Speaker 1: Seriously, yes, I would probably I'll turn to them when I'm on the road and there are no vegan restaurants and stuff. But if I was just home, I would never be like, let's get some Taco Bell, because here, I'd be like, I'm just gonna make fucking pinto beans some scratch and could help from Rina, Please.

01:22:35
Speaker 5: Make my Rina beans.

01:22:36
Speaker 2: Help from somebody who actually knows how to do it.

01:22:38
Speaker 1: It's really tough to actually enjoying beans. She makes amazing beans.

01:22:43
Speaker 2: I was gonna from I said, from someone who knows how to do it. But I would like to give you credit and that you were making your own homess for a while, and that was impressiveness cooked anything for my whole life. I was like, really blow away when you started making homans.

01:23:01
Speaker 1: Don't Number one, thank you. Number two don't tell yourself short. I've seen you heat up a thing or two.

01:23:06
Speaker 2: You know I tried you succeeded.

01:23:10
Speaker 5: Okay, wait, so it's me or you.

01:23:11
Speaker 1: It's you passion or a ration?

01:23:23
Speaker 2: Yes, short shorts, short shorts? Yeah, passion.

01:23:27
Speaker 1: The fuck's out all about Your father wears the longest and shorts he possibly can before they legally become pants.

01:23:36
Speaker 2: True.

01:23:37
Speaker 1: Why why do you feel free to show your legs off?

01:23:40
Speaker 5: You weren't raised that way.

01:23:42
Speaker 2: You know, I really really wasn't.

01:23:44
Speaker 1: Actually let me tell you something. Bruh for you answer. Fucking I pay for fucking something. I said literally twenty five years ago to your mother and it wasn't even still to this day. One day we were talking. I don't know how it came up, but I was just like, I don't like bear arms, like i'd rather people wear sleep.

01:24:03
Speaker 5: That's it.

01:24:04
Speaker 1: Not like I fucking detest arms and seeing a woman's white arms and it takes me sick in my fucking nothing like that, but fucking to this day, your mother will not expose her arm.

01:24:19
Speaker 2: I haven't seen her arms, and she has.

01:24:21
Speaker 1: So many fucking layers and whenever periodically she'll come out of the closet, not knowing them in the room and be like wearing a tank top and she's.

01:24:28
Speaker 5: Like, oh my god.

01:24:29
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, that looks great. Like, no, you you hate bare arms.

01:24:34
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't look at should I hate the right to barrow.

01:24:38
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't hate baron arms. I just made one fucking comment, man, and it's haunted me forever. And a comment wasn't even made about her, It wasn't even made about a person in the specific.

01:24:48
Speaker 5: It was just like, you know, like and it was based on myself.

01:24:51
Speaker 1: I hate my fucking fat arms, so you'll never see my fucking arms and ship you'll never see me walking around in a fucking tank top or something like that.

01:24:58
Speaker 2: I haven't seen your tattoo on your shoulder for yeah, I can't even tell you how long.

01:25:04
Speaker 1: But meanwhile, your whole life, you've been wearing fucking tank tops. Have I ever been like, put something.

01:25:09
Speaker 5: On your about your bare arms, not on your bare arms?

01:25:15
Speaker 1: Well you Periodically, I'll like be thumbing through fucking Instagram and there's this giant thirst trap set by my fucking daughter.

01:25:23
Speaker 5: I'm like, what the fuck.

01:25:26
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, I gotta get off of her fucking carousel. This is disturbing and instead of go to her story and the story it's the exact opposite of cheesecake. It's like, do you know how many fucking animals died today?

01:25:37
Speaker 5: Look at what you're doing to the animals.

01:25:39
Speaker 2: Man, my instagram is your worst fucking.

01:25:41
Speaker 3: Nightmare for me.

01:25:42
Speaker 1: And I'm like a horror show.

01:25:49
Speaker 2: That is so funny.

01:25:50
Speaker 5: What is your Do you want to give out your.

01:25:51
Speaker 1: Instagram or no?

01:25:54
Speaker 3: It's all like it's a secret.

01:25:57
Speaker 1: I was like, maybe we should keep it close. My name that Kevin Smith is my Instagram. If you I'll probably be putting up ship for the show every week. So people could if they if they want to be like, dear Smith's please stop hate the general public. That was where you can send all yours hate.

01:26:20
Speaker 2: The general public house. So the general publicly bucking at you.

01:26:26
Speaker 1: All right, wait, did we finish?

01:26:28
Speaker 2: Now you still okay?

01:26:30
Speaker 1: Passion for rational John Proctor forever patch.

01:26:39
Speaker 2: Big passion. Let's see, let's see New Year's Eve?

01:26:46
Speaker 5: What so far away? You looked up in the corner of a room and you pulled New Year's Eve.

01:26:56
Speaker 1: I was like, he looked at the ceiling. You were really like New Year's Eve, you like the culver, the red a lens first fucking forty five at.

01:27:06
Speaker 2: This you don't like it?

01:27:08
Speaker 5: Uh?

01:27:10
Speaker 1: Ration?

01:27:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.

01:27:11
Speaker 2: I just keep saying things that I actually know are a ration for you.

01:27:14
Speaker 1: I do like it when I could work, like when we've done like Babylon New Year's Eve, Babylon and stuff, or when I've done any New Year's Evening with Kevin Smith. I like monetizing that holiday. We know. Yeah, well I don't know if they do. She sure? But ration otherwise, ration, you don't like it unless I can get the big bucks. Then passion? So true ration or a passion public displays of affection bda passion?

01:27:43
Speaker 3: Really?

01:27:44
Speaker 2: Yeah?

01:27:44
Speaker 1: Is that right? Yeah? One hond kind of running through my head, and I'm like, I don't like have a mental image of you, like hanging on him or him hanging on you. I I it was a mental image of you going corner player's girlfriend in a fucking movie.

01:28:01
Speaker 5: So maybe that's why I don't think.

01:28:03
Speaker 2: You guys, I'm sorry, I don't want to play his girlfriend. Who is your high school girlfriend?

01:28:09
Speaker 1: Quit piling words on it?

01:28:11
Speaker 5: So awkward?

01:28:12
Speaker 3: Oh yeah?

01:28:14
Speaker 5: Really?

01:28:15
Speaker 2: Yeah? What kind I mean? I always like get kissing and joddling austin public.

01:28:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, open mouth kiss or quick pecks.

01:28:27
Speaker 4: I don't know.

01:28:28
Speaker 1: I mean, but would you feel comfortable if he was like parlor I want to make out for like two minutes straight right here in front of Lemon Grass? Would you whatever called lemon Grass? Was that place that we all went to eat And it's near a pottery store. It's trendy. It's over by Cold Water Canyon.

01:28:47
Speaker 3: Lemon Grass.

01:28:49
Speaker 1: It's like a sit down, healthy fucking place. Lemon Grass is a place that's in the airport. I pass it all the time.

01:28:54
Speaker 2: Sun Cafe, No, I know that the place.

01:28:59
Speaker 1: Remember we went with Mom for a birthday and we went and bought pots and it was over by the old Sportsman's Lodge. Yeah yeah, yeah, there's an eatery in there.

01:29:09
Speaker 2: That's like okay, air one is what.

01:29:13
Speaker 5: I'm thinking of. Weapongrass Lemon Grass.

01:29:21
Speaker 1: I think it's a place in the airport in Lax that I pass all the time.

01:29:26
Speaker 2: Oh so I really should have known.

01:29:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, fucking dull.

01:29:31
Speaker 5: I can't believe we said.

01:29:35
Speaker 1: Lemongrass. Wait where why did lemongrass come up?

01:29:39
Speaker 2: I don't even want to say tell me.

01:29:44
Speaker 1: So would you like would you as the British say, snog yes, from like a minute at a time, like lose the world all around you?

01:29:56
Speaker 2: Just like yes. Really, in my last religationship, my partner did not want to hold my hand in any way.

01:30:06
Speaker 1: For the record, this is Harley's second relationship unless you count Wade.

01:30:15
Speaker 2: You better fuck edit that out.

01:30:17
Speaker 1: Nobody knows that.

01:30:20
Speaker 3: Ed that ship out.

01:30:23
Speaker 1: So this is your second boyd what and that first boyfriend record?

01:30:33
Speaker 5: What he was not?

01:30:35
Speaker 2: We don't got to get so specific.

01:30:38
Speaker 1: He was not cudly or like.

01:30:41
Speaker 2: He did not like PDA and it was something that really hurt my feelings. Yeah, because I felt like he was embarrassed in me or something.

01:30:47
Speaker 1: Can I tell you my favorite PDA story of all time?

01:30:50
Speaker 2: No, I don't want to hear the story about Grandma.

01:30:52
Speaker 1: I gotta hear it. It's amazing.

01:30:54
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear the story about Grandma.

01:30:56
Speaker 1: So my brother brother, I'll tell you the story and then we'll get out. Brother gets married thirty years ago this year, well he just passed the anniversary him and Jerry in July. It was thirty years so they didn't wait for the state to be like gay people could get married. They're like, fucking we're damn we're getting married. And so they went to a you know, a Unitarian church and and you know, afterwards there was a killer reception and whatnot out like a banquet hall and stuff, and you know, just like every ass wedding, like it gets to a point where you're like, oh, man, fucking you use a coaster because I see the water, and I also see the electrical things, not so much the soon you get electric.

01:31:40
Speaker 5: Dad's always looking at.

01:31:42
Speaker 1: So just at the point when the wedding gets like, it's good for these fucks, but let's go home, like we've been here long enough, boom, fucking drag show kicked in. Like my brother and Jerry set up a drag show. So fucking Donna Summer, Bette Middler and I forget it, the other one, Diana Ross my mom's faith. They come down, they're performing and shit like that, and everyone's like ground the dance floor. They got the whole dance floor and stuff. So I'm behind my mom and dad, and my mom and dad you know, they were they they would hold hands and like kiss, but I'd never heard them. Fuck my room was like right, across them. There's year stories about kids going heard my parents fuck. That never happened to fucking me. So my parents, you know, I knew they loved each other, and I knew they had sex at least three times because of me and my brother and sister. But I thought it was just one of those like real friendly relationships and ship. So there I am behind my parents. They're on the dance floor. My dad had a stroke, so he had to hold like a cane with one hand and ship and the other hand was stiff like because because he'd lost full mobility, so he don't have his cane. He left that on his chair because he's got his hand on my mom's back kind of support, and my mom, mamily is fucking like just white lady dancing just like.

01:33:06
Speaker 5: To every fucking song and dancing with Diana Ross.

01:33:09
Speaker 2: And I don't want to dancing.

01:33:11
Speaker 1: She's three to win, so this was just you know, could have if she could have taken a braw off, she would be So she was just dancing and my father's got his hand on her back. I remember thinking like this guy could barely fucking stand quick jerk dancing around the room. He's got a trip but he has hand on her back. I thought it was real sweet. I was like, Oh, that's my parents, that's what they do. And ship then like fucking two songs. Then when it gets like sexy, my fucking father's arm goes down my mother's back, the middle of my mom's back, and I was like, oh, that's nice. But it don't stop, Harley, It don't stop. I know, it just keeps going past the place of fucking society societally to old fucking public hand PDA. Then he's like his palm of his hand is at the crack of her ass. You can't say, it's not like she's wearing a pippy top or something like that, but where asked would be ship. That's when fucking poppoy, my dad his hand switches into this mode because.

01:34:19
Speaker 5: It ain't going down like this anymore.

01:34:21
Speaker 1: Now it's going down like this, and he goes in and and between the cheeks, and you think that'd be enough, like you gonna cut her cheek or something. Then he keeps going around, dips under for the reach up to hold on to the mound and ship.

01:34:38
Speaker 5: Bro. I was like, I that's how I wound up in a fucking movie. Hatch right there.

01:34:49
Speaker 2: That's the last time I'm trying to hear that story.

01:34:52
Speaker 3: And goodbye everybody.

01:34:54
Speaker 1: I want you to tell that story when I when I'm at my eulogy, You're like one more thing. My father wanted me to pass off, and he asked that I do it in a burnt cork beard and my best impression of him.

01:35:04
Speaker 5: So give me a minute.

01:35:06
Speaker 1: I've played all the greats Medea, other Tyler, Perry Rolls, and now at his eulogy, I prepare to play the really role of a lifetime my father. Oh my god, one time my dad felt up my mother in public. Snoops to the other guy, I don't know. I never paid a bunch of attention to the giants on the bomb stuff.

01:35:30
Speaker 2: Stop my cheeks.

01:35:32
Speaker 1: Ahret from there it is, kids, there's your fucking beardlessless me. Sounds so harsh. It's such an aggressive title. God, the beardless me for beardless dickless me. I'm Kevin Smith.

01:35:49
Speaker 2: And I'm Harley Quinn Smith and.

01:35:51
Speaker 5: Get me back my name, woman.

01:35:53
Speaker 1: That's how we signed. This has been a podcast production, some podcast podcast using our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey, kids, did you like what you just heard, Well, guess what. We've got tons more man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you at that kevinsmithclub dot com. Go sign up now,