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The hardest part of achieving a goal is starting. Being sendy means making courageous decisions to try something before you have all of the answers. This podcast will remind you of the remarkable life you are living and will give you new ideas to make your life more meaningful and exciting and give you courage to accomplish your goals by stopping the negative voices in your head and just sending it!
Emily (00:00)
when we become adults, we have a lot of other problems going on that we have to focus on. And so when a kid comes through with this silly little problem, it's like, my gosh, just get over it. You know, we don't have the patience and we kind of forget that.
this is the first time they're experiencing these things. It really is as big as they're making it sound.
Becky Brouwer (00:18)
Right.
Emily (00:20)
There's no way I would have ever created that had I not been ripped away from everything had been pulled completely out of that world. And it created a space for me to, you know, start again,
Becky Brouwer (01:00)
everything so. All right, welcome to the Sendy Mom podcast. This is going to be a really fun episode because I am here with my little sister. And so I'm just a teensy bit worried about what's going to come up but I am so excited.
I don't ever hide anything anyway, I'm pretty genuine and so it'll just be a really fun conversation and Emily's like super entertaining and I am gonna start with this awesome bio that she sent to me and I may add a little bit to it. all right, Emily is the 10th of 12 children, I'm the second and yeah, she is.
Emily (01:34)
Hahaha.
Becky Brouwer (01:44)
pretty much my indisputable favorite sister, in her words. She is the mother of four children and is currently serving as the primary chorister in church. She is a fitness professional, choreographer and vocal coach in her community. And she started a new business that's called InMotion Studios. And maybe just tell us where can you find InMotion Studios?
Emily (02:06)
It's I have my website is in motion dash studios calm. I just love that dash
Becky Brouwer (02:12)
Perfect. That dash.
Don't forget the dash because dash means go fast, right? Okay. It means to go fast. Okay. She works as a clinician for high school and university theater departments throughout Texas. It's her mission to build resilient humans through musical theater and fitness. And I would say through mothering too. And she does this through her exercise programs and workshops.
Emily (02:17)
Don't forget the dash. Yeah, it means go fast.
Becky Brouwer (02:37)
Emily is super Sendy because she practices what she preaches to her students to take risks and lean into things that are hard, new and uncomfortable. And Emily was one of the first people that I thought of when I thought of Sendy mom, I wanted for sure to interview her. And honestly, all of my sisters will be on this podcast at some point because they're all Sendy and they all do like amazing things. And I am so proud of my sisters, sisters in law.
and my brothers too. So there's six boys, six girls in our family. We've got 12 of us. And so I'll just tell you when Emily was born, I was 12 years old, right? You're 12 years younger than me, right? I'm pretty sure I was 12. And so I was just getting into that point in my life where I loved babysitting and I loved babies. So Emily was my baby. And I had also just learned how to sew and I made like,
I found my mom's scraps and I made all these little pillows and they were these silky pillows. I made a ton of them. I probably made 20 pillows. And you couldn't even see Emily in her little bed because I putting all these little pillows into her bed. My mom had to take them out so she would die, roll over and suffocate herself.
Emily (03:47)
you
I have never heard this story, Becky. I've never heard that story.
That's so funny.
Becky Brouwer (03:58)
obviously I've known Emily my entire life and we do get into lots of really good deep conversations. I love that.
she and I grew up in the same environment, although different families, because there's a pretty good age gap. I felt like there were kind of three families that we grew up with, you know, the older ones, the middle ones, and then you're kind of part of that end group, you know? And so it was a little bit different the way that you grew up. But, you know, same parents and everything, and I feel like we're very similar in a lot of ways.
So I'm gonna first, I'm gonna turn most of it over to you, but I'm gonna first ask you why you would want to be on this podcast.
Emily (04:32)
Agreed.
why do I want to be on this podcast? Well, A, you're my sister and I love the crap out of you. And I think you're being super brave and doing a podcast. I think it'd be really scary to just like, well, let's hope it comes out really well and people find value in it. So I am really proud of you and I love you and I want to support you. B, I think what you're talking about and what you're doing is really, really important. I think because we're sisters and we grew up with the same parents,
We have a lot of similar values and I can back up this 100%. It aligns so well with everything that I'm trying to do. And so I love talking about resiliency. I love talking about grit and doing hard things and being confident. Like that is everything that I know. That's everything that I've been through, lived, loved. And so yeah, I'm like so excited to be here and talk about it.
Becky Brouwer (05:35)
Yeah, yeah. And you are super Sendy. I mean, you've done a lot of different things that you've had some some setbacks in your life to that have really taught you to just keep moving forward. And I a lot of what this podcast is about is teaching people how to overcome the obstacles that you have and to move forward with your life. So that's awesome. Okay, so tell me a little bit about your background about your, your family. I mean, that's usually where we go to. mean, so go for it.
Emily (06:02)
Mm hmm. Yeah,
I think my experience on the latter end of the family was a little bit different because mom was so distracted by everybody else that I got away with a lot of stuff. And she did.
Becky Brouwer (06:16)
That's really funny you'd say that, because I felt like, I
felt the opposite. I mean, I felt the same, but the opposite way. Like she was so busy with the babies that I totally got away with a ton of stuff.
Emily (06:21)
You
I think we all got away with stuff just because there were so many of us like I but I loved it. Mom, let me just go outside and play all the time. I was on top of the roof with a hammer and nails making a lean to and she even let us keep it up for like a week. I was climbing in the tree with two by fours trying to make make tree houses and she didn't know about this but I took my little sister and we
Becky Brouwer (06:30)
Yeah. Right.
Emily (06:55)
Swam across the Snake River. Like, like, it's so crazy. Yeah, it's so crazy. So I can't remember. It's so weird to retell the story because I almost feel like I'm lying because it was so traumatic that it's like a dream. So we like, I took my little sister Susan and we rode our bikes down to Shoshone Falls.
Becky Brouwer (06:59)
I think I did hear this story. Yeah, tell this story. Tell it.
Emily (07:20)
And the Snake River is really big. There are boats that go water skiing over there just before Shoshone Falls. There's some buoys to cut off how far you can go before, you know, you go over the falls. And we ran into some friends and they took us across to the other side and they never came to get us. And we were stuck on the other side of the river. And I don't know why they didn't come back to get us. The details are hazy. But the sun was setting and mom didn't know where we were.
And we had to get back. And so we started swimming and I can't remember how old we were. I think Susan must've been like eight or nine and like halfway through she's like, I can't go anymore. And I remember having to hold her and like side stroke and take her the rest of the way. And we just rode our bikes home. Like it was no big deal. I know like we were just all over the place.
Becky Brouwer (08:13)
Dang. does mom know about this?
Emily (08:17)
yeah, she found out later. I don't really remember when, like, ho. There's just been a few set. guess that was pretty Sendy or stupid. Sendy's stupid. Yeah. No. Yeah.
Becky Brouwer (08:26)
Or stupid. Well, it teaches you
what you're capable of and yeah, maybe not the most wise decision, but at the same time.
Emily (08:36)
my gosh. I don't even know like why
how there's so many questions that come up from this story and I'm like, I have no answers. But it totally happened.
Becky Brouwer (08:48)
Well, and back then it's not like you had a cell phone or something to call people and like, yeah, why the heck would somebody just dump you over there, 12 year old, you know, and a nine year old?
Emily (08:52)
No, life was so...
I don't know,
like life was so different for me as a kid. like one thing that was, that's really interesting. And maybe this will segue into some other things, Becky, but like being the youngest, all of my other siblings were laying out the path. Every single person went to BYU. Everybody.
Becky Brouwer (09:18)
Hmm.
Emily (09:21)
worked at Aspen Grove and found their wife there or you know, like, it's not everybody but like, they laid the path and it was pretty clear that you graduate high school, you go to BYU, you serve your mission, you get married and I wanted that for myself and like, mom and dad were so great at equipping us with the skills to be able to.
Becky Brouwer (09:39)
Yeah.
Emily (09:47)
have that happened for us, even though we were all really different. But I think, maybe I'm not the first one. I think there might be a couple of other siblings that didn't get into BYU, first off. I had to work really hard in school. Because when I was growing up,
School was not easy. I was the one being taken out to go to a different school. I was the one with the tutor. I was the one that was taken out for homeschooling. I was the one up really late with mom doing all these assignments. I was the one who like everything took three times as long. And that was like a big thing when I was
Becky Brouwer (10:21)
Mm.
Yeah.
Emily (10:32)
When I was in kindergarten, mom was having problems with me and the teacher was kind of mentioning, you might want to take Emily to the doctor and just find out how Emily's brain is working. Cause Emily's special. She's a little different and I'm having, she's having some difficulties in school. And mom tells me this story a lot actually, but she says she was on a walk. She'd been praying and thinking about it. Of course.
about taking me in to find out, you know, does Emily have ADHD? And back then ADHD was so stigmatized and it was a negative thing and she was really worried about it. And it was on this walk where she felt the spirit strongly impress upon her that that was not the right route to go that she that what Emily needed was mom. And so I am
I feel like I was the child that got mom the most. I don't know how everybody else feels like, but I felt like mom really invested in to me and she spent a lot of time with me with school. And yeah, that was my, that's what my childhood was like. It was crazy. She just, the hours she spent with me and dad too, helping me with biology and all of the writing. just like,
Becky Brouwer (11:43)
Mm-hmm.
Emily (11:55)
Things don't click for me very well. get easily distracted. I still haven't been diagnosed with ADHD, but it's pretty apparent. But yeah, I just learned, I learned throughout my whole life that I am completely capable of doing things. It just takes me longer. And I feel like that is the framework for everything that I coach and do now.
Becky Brouwer (11:57)
Yeah.
It's pretty obvious. In fact, I'm pretty sure most of us in the family have a little bit of it.
Sure. Yeah.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
Emily (12:25)
because yeah, everything was so much harder.
Becky Brouwer (12:27)
Well, and one
of the things I remember either, I think mom told me was that during that time, she also kind of had the impression that you needed to serve. And so she also found some opportunities for you to learn how to serve. Do you remember that at all or what kind of activities you did?
Emily (12:37)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, there was I have Yeah,
because of that high energy. I had a hard time with friends. I had a really hard time with friends I had. That's one of the reasons why we switched schools so I could start over. The girls in young women's they were all well first off they were all like a foot shorter than me all of them. And they were all on the cheer team and they were just in their own little group and I felt
so different and I felt so unincluded or isolated and I would come home and cry after church I would come home and cry after school because I just couldn't connect to anybody and I just felt like I didn't have any friends at all and mom felt impressed like that the best way to help your kids or anything
was to teach them principles of the gospel. And so one of the principles she decided to teach me was the principle of service. And so I remember I came up with the idea to cookie their houses and we made cookies for them. And I went over to all of the girls in my young women's group and I dropped off cookies and left little notes. And I felt happy because it took me outside myself. And mom did that all of the time.
When I was in ninth grade, I joined this dance team and it was the same problem. And I'm not saying it was like, because they're a bunch of mean girls. Like it's me in the situation and how I saw and perceived and reacted to things. And you can like, it's so crazy, Becky. I will look in my journal at this time in ninth grade and I could hear my mom's voice and everything I say.
because she was just, she was right there by my side coaching me how to get through some of these things. And what she was really good at was helping me to zoom out of myself and be able to see things as they reality, as they really are, and to be able to separate thoughts from facts. And so, you know, I could hear my mom's coaching me through
Becky Brouwer (14:40)
you
Right.
Emily (14:55)
all of my struggles as I reread my journal, know, like, she was just always there helping me build the tools of resiliency, like, and, even sometimes, like, I ended up quitting at semester, because it was, it was a situation that wasn't healthy for me. And I had to make the decision to quit, which was really, really hard because
And our family, our motto is winners never quit and quitters never win. And you know what, there are some times in situations where you have to quit. And that was a really hard thing that mom helped me get through as well. Yeah.
Becky Brouwer (15:19)
And quitters never win. Right?
Yeah. Well,
you know, and that that's that illustrates the point of, know, our mom who is a very Sendy mom.
this is what she has spent her life doing. she was very deliberate about teaching those principles. tell me about the
the your current family and if you have taken some of these same principles and been able to teach it to your children.
Emily (15:52)
All the time, like just recently, Hannah, she's going through some very, very similar things as me. She like, she's on the cheer team, which totally like ignites some PTSD for me. When I step into like the room with the other moms and I'm just like, like I don't belong here. Like all these insecurities from ninth grade just kind of come up. But I'm like, I hate this so much.
Becky Brouwer (16:13)
You
Emily (16:20)
And Hannah will come to me and she'll express these feelings that are so familiar. Like I just don't belong and they're all popular and da da da da da. And so, you know, I will do the same thing and I'll remind her, I'm like, Hannah, those are thoughts. They're not facts. These girls feel exactly the same as you. They just cope differently and it comes out in ways that can be hurtful, but it's
because they're having the same insecurities. And so we, I help coach her to kind of think outside herself and focus on what their needs might be and in her ability to meet their needs and serve other people, she can kind of get out of that insecurity. Just something I have to still coach myself to do all the time. One thing that I started doing with Hannah is a journal.
And it works really well for her because and for me, because she'll have these problems. And the thing is, when we become adults, we have a lot of other problems going on that we have to focus on. And so when a kid comes through with this silly little problem, it's like, my gosh, just get over it. You know, we don't have the patience and we kind of forget that.
this is the first time they're experiencing these things. It really is as big as they're making it sound. And so when she has this journal, she'll write in it and she'll express all of these feelings and she will give it to me and let me read it. And then in my own time, yeah, but in my own time, when I'm not busy or working on something and
Becky Brouwer (17:41)
Right.
that is some serious trust.
Emily (18:03)
not frustrated, gives me a time, it gives me some time to think about it. And to respond in a way. And I just love it because she's gonna have this journal with words from me that she will have forever. And I can like I can say
Becky Brouwer (18:16)
So she writes in it, she
gives it to you and then you write kind of a response.
Emily (18:20)
Yes, we're writing
letters to each other and she has this in her journal. I know like it kind of makes me a little tear up a little bit like I'll hold that journal in my hands and I'll be like, what does Hannah need? Like what words from her mom is she going to have for the rest of her life? And so I'll say things like Hannah, you're a daughter of God. You have these specific talents. You are this and this and this and
here's what happens when we have these problems. And sometimes I will like map out action items for her. And like, this is, this is what I've learned in my life when things are really, really hard. And this is something that I coach Hannah with. And this is something that I've learned. I, here, here I am bouncing all over the place, but when I was in Indiana and like that was that transitional spot for me.
It was like constantly like being rejected when you move anywhere new it's just like new experiences and it's just a lot over and over and over again, there's not a lot of breathing time and so I kind of had this System in place and something would happen and I would cry and I'd feel terrible and I would just you know I'd have some friends that I would complain to or talk to or call you were on the list. Thank you, Becky
Becky Brouwer (19:27)
Yeah.
Emily (19:41)
And I just had that period of ugliness like that knee jerk reaction where it's just yucky until I got tired of crying about it. And then I'd reach out to my resources, which was Heavenly Father and gospel tools in the gospel library. did an emotional resilience course, addiction recovery course, and different things like that. And then you just sit down and, you know,
Pull back. Pull back. then, yeah.
Becky Brouwer (20:09)
Yeah, there's one thing really interesting that
I had a friend, as far as you were talking about when you were tired of crying, right? A friend of mine told me that an emotion actually only stays with you for about 90 seconds. So we have to feel these emotions. And so sometimes it feels like it lasts forever and ever because we never allow ourselves to actually feel the emotion. So if you're feeling sad or if you're feeling lonely or if you're feeling
angry or irritated or whatever, it's really important to allow your body to feel that emotion and you have to focus in on it. So sometimes what I'll do is I'll set a a stopwatch just to see how long it takes and I will sit there and I will really think about like, I am feeling so irritated and where is that coming from? Okay, I can feel it in my stomach and now it's going kind of up into the middle of my chest, you know, or you know,
It's in my brain, this irritation and this tenseness. And then I try to focus on relaxing that part of my body. And somehow that allows the emotion, whatever it is, to run its course, to do what it needs to do. And after about 90 seconds, I find that I'm bored. I'm done. I don't need that emotion anymore. It's been released from my body.
Emily (21:19)
Yeah.
Becky Brouwer (21:29)
and I'm able to move on to other things. And that has been a super powerful tool for me to overcome. So I think that that's a lot of what you were able to do. And I know we are gonna get to Indiana, because I know that that was a really tough time in your life for you.
Emily (21:42)
Yeah.
I love that though, Becky. I love how it's like physical, like you take the emotional, you take the emotional aspect and you turn it into something physical because I feel like that's a piece that a lot of us leave out in our life is having, having some physical outlet. Cause honestly, like we'll get to Indiana and I'll talk to you about all of the physical
Becky Brouwer (21:47)
Yes.
Emily (22:09)
things that I had to do to be able to cope because that was definitely a piece. But yeah, you get it out of your system and then you focus on what you have control over and then you take steps to move forward.
Becky Brouwer (22:19)
Right? Yeah.
Well, and that's the point. And that's what being a Sendy mom means, really, it's about getting yourself out of this stuck area and taking steps to move forward. Because, you know, unless you have a time machine, you can't go back and fix things that have happened in the past, you can't change them. All you can do is make decisions for your future. And, you know, and we're all just trying different things all the time to try to make make it better.
for our future, sometimes we make mistakes and we make the wrong choice, but we can always go forward making new choices, which I think is really, Sendy, a really important thing to do. So, okay, I wanna circle back around to the ADHD because I think it's kind of an interesting topic because you were never medicated for ADHD.
Emily (22:59)
Yeah.
Becky Brouwer (23:11)
not even in your adulthood, right? And how do you feel about that?
Emily (23:12)
Mm-mm. No.
I feel like it took me a really long time to finally harness it and use it so I could step into my greatness there. But there were little checkpoints along the way where I was really able to realize that the tools I've been equipped with were working. And, you know, like I'm so grateful I wasn't medicated because I've developed a skill of working really, really hard.
Becky Brouwer (23:20)
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
I actually have two kids that have been diagnosed with ADHD. And, and I'm pretty sure most of them, maybe, maybe one of them does not, but the rest of them, I'm pretty sure they do. But you know, there's different differing levels and things like that.
Emily (23:45)
Yeah.
Yeah, kids
can function in society, they're fine.
Becky Brouwer (23:59)
Sure.
Yeah. And I know there's different levels. And for some people, they really need to be medicated to function and to feel okay. And I would never judge anybody for choices they make about those things.
Emily (24:11)
100 % No, I don't either. Like I
my case is just a situation where like, you know, I had, I had access to really great coping strategies. You know, not everybody does and not everybody copes the same.
Becky Brouwer (24:23)
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And there's two.
And there, but you know, it's important to understand that there are there are multiple ways to deal with difficulties in your life.
Emily (24:34)
Mm-hmm.
And there was one time when I was in the library at BYU reading my PD bio book and I'd read a paragraph and then I'd read it again and again and again. And one day I didn't have to reread my paragraphs and I was like, whoa. And I think it's because I finally tapped into what I wanted to learn, like the things that I wanted to learn. Like it was crazy. Like once, once I started
Becky Brouwer (25:00)
Mmm.
Emily (25:03)
getting fascinated on the subject. I was like, I am capable of learning something, you know, but like, and then when I stepped into my phase of teaching fitness classes, it's a whole jumbled mess. It's like, if you have ADHD, like you could be a really great fitness instructor because you have to juggle a lot of things at the same time.
Or you could be a complete disaster. And I think I had some natural talent, but my brain was just all knotted up and crazy. And my class was just high energy. And I know that people stepping into my class when I was new at it could just felt anxious around that. And so as I continued to learn how to like hone in on certain things, like
Becky Brouwer (25:38)
busy.
Mm-hmm.
Emily (25:58)
layering in what I was doing so that I could meet other people's needs. I was able to organize all the chaos. I just had to strip everything away. And so now, like, now I can take my energy and hold on to it until I get my job done first as like before, before all of this, Emily comes out, I'm going to do my job.
Becky Brouwer (26:08)
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Emily (26:24)
I'm going to make sure they know exactly what they're doing. I need to make sure they know what their options are. need to make sure they know like how to modify their intensity. then Emily's going to come out to play and like, whatever I say, blah, blah, blah, blah. It lands. And it was life changing when I had a coach tell me like, Emily, you have all of this and is your greatest strength. And that was like the.
Becky Brouwer (26:38)
Right.
Yeah.
Emily (26:51)
first time in my life, Becky, where somebody labeled my energy as a strength. Because my whole life, it was always quiet, calm down too much. And like, I literally have an award, Becky, I don't know if you know this, but I have an award that I got in high school. It is the ecstatic, radiant, beaming, Ritlan and needing friendly greeting award. Like it is like
Becky Brouwer (26:58)
Yes.
Emily (27:21)
I carry this with me everywhere I go. And like for the first time, someone was like, all of this, this is your strength, Emily. And if you can, if you can use it at the right time and at the right place, you will succeed in anything you do. And so like, I can't wait to put together my training so I can help other people with this because I know I'm not the only one. And I just love, I just love that everybody's so different.
Becky Brouwer (27:38)
Mm-hmm.
Emily (27:50)
And regardless of what we think our weaknesses are or personality flaws, like the uniqueness is the strength. It's just a matter of understanding how to focus and direct it to do good things. So yeah.
Becky Brouwer (28:05)
Absolutely.
we all, you know, and, you know, if we're trying to put everybody into a box, how boring would this world be? So I've always appreciated your, your energy and you know, and, and yes, I can see how it would be a little overwhelming for some people, you know, but I love
Emily (28:22)
yeah, I still
overwhelm people. But like, I can't beat myself up about not pleasing everybody. I'm doing the best that I can. But like, I'm still Emily. And there's so many people that need Emily to show up as she's supposed to be. You know,
Becky Brouwer (28:25)
You
Right, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Well, and I love that
you've learned some skills through this. You know, it sounds to me like, you know, you've learned you've learned the skill of organization, which is really good. And also of not restraint, because I know you don't love that word. But but being able but control.
Emily (28:44)
Mm.
yeah. It,
but it is restraint. Like you do have to restrain certain things in order to be able to read the room. You have to restrain yourself to be able to do your job first. And like, there's some things that needed that take priority for sure. Before you can, before you get to play, you know,
Becky Brouwer (29:00)
Yeah.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah, but it's self-control
and you've been very deliberate about learning those skills so that you can be more effective as an instructor and as a friend and as a mother and all of those things have combined to make you who you are. But without diminishing who you really are, who your core person is.
Emily (29:20)
Yeah.
Becky Brouwer (29:41)
about halfway through the podcast, want to remind you that this podcast is also on our YouTube channel at Sendy Mom. You can find our website at sendymom.com and on Instagram at sendy.mom. Please subscribe, review and share this episode with people you think might need this message. I may or may not have an episode for you next week. This is one of my fondest projects I have ever done. I love talking to women about their courageous stories.
But next week is Christmas and I want to make sure that I take care of my family at this time. So you may have to wait next week for the next episode of Send Me Mom, but I promise you it's going to be very inspiring as always. I got to talk to my really good friend and mentor, Dr. Christy Sobey. She is a really courageous mother raising a daughter, Evelyn, who is severely disabled. Evelyn has a host of problems that prevents her from leaving home.
In spite of her challenges, Christie is a positive light and has accomplished so much in her life. She mentored me through my grade eight Royal Conservatory of Music exams in piano, and she continues to inspire me as a pianist and as a teacher. I'm going to highlight Yeonmi Park on the Sunday Spotlight this week. So Emily suggested I read her memoir. It took me less than a day. The story was gripping and tragic.
And you know that this girl had to endure so many things, tragic things with so many other people that are like her. I was really saddened. I was angry. I was disgusted. And I was really inspired by her story of courageous determination that helped her to escape and continue to tell her story despite having threats from the North Korean government. There are so many ways people demonstrate their courage.
Whether oppression comes from an oppressive dictator, family member, co-worker, or even within your own mind, there are things you can do to make choices to be free. So please listen to the spotlight that will be available on this podcast as a bonus episode next Tuesday. And please enjoy the rest of my conversation with Emily. She is a remarkable person who has gone through some tough things in our life in order to be the strong, resilient, and energetic person that she is.
who has recognized her life's work and is truly a sendy mom.
Becky Brouwer (32:18)
me a little bit about, okay, we were talking a little bit about ADHD. I want to go a little bit further with that because I know that in high school, you had some difficulties with school and being able to focus and things like that. And you talked a little bit about ACT tests and things like that and how difficult that was for you.
Emily (32:35)
Hmm.
Yeah, I really, had this, you know, obviously we already talked about, you know, the path that was laid out and I wanted to follow that path and go to BYU. But more than that, I wanted to be a BYU young ambassador more than anything. I, I had pictures of young ambassadors on my mirror, on my door, in the bathroom.
Becky Brouwer (32:54)
yeah.
Emily (33:01)
I listened to them every day. sang every day. I took all my dance lessons and my dance classes. And that's all I wanted to be from age 14. And I knew that in order to live that dream, I had to get into BYU. The stakes were very, very high. And I went, I did all of the prep study courses. I got a tutor. They taught me skills on highlighting.
fast and being able to, you know, technically dissect things so that you could read and whatnot. And I went and took the ACT the first time I got a 19. I got a 19. and I was like, well, that what I was so embarrassed.
Becky Brouwer (33:41)
Mm-hmm.
Emily (33:46)
I don't tell people how much I got on my ACT very often, but yeah, I was devastated.
more times. You want to know what my high score was? A 19. I never, yeah, I got the second time. The second time was a 17. And then the third time was a 19 and the fourth time, fourth time was a 19. It was so devastating. It was so devastating because I was like,
Becky Brouwer (33:57)
Okay, that's where you were. Test taking.
Yeah.
That's pretty demotivating. Yeah.
Emily (34:18)
I just want to be a young ambassador and I still applied for BYU and I worked so hard on that letter you have to send in. So I ended up going to BYU, Idaho and I've worked so hard, Becky. I got straight A's and I transferred to BYU. They gave me a scholarship, an academic scholarship to go into BYU and I was like, take that stupid ACT. Like I just work hard.
Becky Brouwer (34:25)
essays.
Emily (34:44)
I lost that scholarship real fast. All I had to do was take a statistics. But like, I never did become a young ambassador, but like, it is so important to tap into what you're passionate about and what your dreams are and let it be your guiding star to do the things that you aren't good at that you don't want to do.
Becky Brouwer (35:07)
Okay, so tell me about
that. Were you destroyed when you didn't get into Young Ambassadors or did you just pivot to a new direction?
Emily (35:16)
Well, I chose not to do it. Like it was, I didn't make it the first and second time. First time I didn't get called back. Second time I got called back. Third time I had a previous young ambassador. She, think she was like the choreographer or whatnot. She was giving me voice lessons and she was prepared. She was preparing me for solo auditions. She's like, you're going to make it this year, Emily. Let's start working on some songs that you can audition. And I was like, really? She believes I'm going to make it.
and then I got engaged and I knew that there was going to be, I knew that I needed to finish school and I knew that, I would be gone all the time and traveling and doing all of this stuff. And I decided not to audition that third time. So it was a choice. Do I look back and say, if, and kick myself in the foot all the time, but it was a choice. like the same thing with.
deciding to get a degree in exercise science instead of music dance theater. That was really hard too. And do I wish I could go back and get a degree in music dance theater? Yep. And I probably will. Like just so that I can have access. I still took voice lessons. I still took dance classes. I almost had a minor in a modern, but I got pregnant and I needed to have a baby and graduate. It's a miracle. But yeah.
I graduated, I have a degree in exercise science and I am teaching fitness classes with musical theater show tunes. So we just did it all.
Becky Brouwer (36:49)
Yeah. Yeah, let's segue
into what you're doing now and the road that took you here because, and you can kind of meander a little bit through Indiana because I think that that's where that choice came, where you decided to start this.
Emily (37:03)
Mm hmm. I know it's
actually just like Becky, I just feel like this is such a beautiful story of just like how our Heavenly Father makes us the way we are on purpose. He sends tailor made challenges to us on purpose. And he sends angels to us and he has everything planned out.
I would never take Indiana back. I needed it so much and I'm so grateful for it. So the story is I had built up this awesome, community in Idaho and like all of those things we talked about, like me coming into my power and finally realizing that like people like me as I am, like it was just this beautiful home and
Craig moved us out to... Yeah, I did. I was gonna be able to play Joe March and I was so excited. And Craig moved us out to Indiana for his career and I fully supported him. I am there for my husband and I let go of that dream role and we moved. I felt like I was ripped from...
Becky Brouwer (37:50)
And you got your dream role in a play too, right?
Emily (38:15)
Like a baby ripped from their mother's bosom, know, like that community really helped me get over a lot of insecurities that I've been carrying around with me my whole life. And I guess I'm still emotional about it because I just love them so much and I miss them still. Cause I still haven't been able to find that community and I'm like longing for it. and so being in Indiana, was a culture shock.
because people are different there. And I just had worked so hard. I was also really burnt out. I had taught 416 fitness classes one year. Like I was burnt out and I did not want to start all over. I did not want to have to wait around to have the best class times and to build the following.
And I didn't have the patience for it either. I didn't have patience for, any kind of insecurity coming from other instructors. And like, I just could not find a place that I wanted to settle in. did, I, I did audition at a gym and they didn't want to hire me for whatever reason. We won't get into it, but it was a weird Indiana thing. It was a culture thing. I had rubbed them wrong.
Becky Brouwer (39:07)
Mm-hmm.
Emily (39:34)
And so I didn't get a job at a gym. Another gym did not work out. And I was like, I don't think the Lord wants me teaching at a gym anymore. So I started trying to create my own programs because I no longer could teach my Les Mills formatted programs because there were no licensed facilities. So everything that I knew,
I had to start from scratch. I had to make up my own martial arts class, my own weight training class, my own yoga class, my own dance class. And I just started making up stuff up and I tried teaching classes for parks and rec at the park. And I started, I tried teaching at a police station. I tried teaching at a lake. I tried teaching at, let's see, I think there were about 10 of them.
Becky Brouwer (40:21)
Yeah, well you at one point you were in like
Emily (40:21)
a pool, my backyard, my house.
I tried teaching at like a business. They had like a little gym in there, probably about 10 different places. And I just was like every single class was so disappointing. And there was one day, Becky, like I had a wall that I had put all of these pictures and cards. There are hundreds of them from
members from the gym. And I had them all like, tacked on the wall of my walk-in closet. And it was just to remind me of who I was and the value that I had in people. And one day, I went in there, and I ripped it all down. And I just cried ugly tears. And I was like, it doesn't even matter. Nobody's gonna give me a chance. And I like, hid it all in my hope chest. And I was like, never wanted to see it again.
And like, remember like, when I was trying to build classes at this, at this park, I'd put flyers on doors and like, on cars at other gyms. I'd walk around the, the park and different hours of the day, handing out flyers, talking to people like, I'm so nice. But these people were like, you are too nice. Like I made them all suspicious and I scared the crap out of them.
I tried like changing my programs. like, what is the most approachable class? What if I call it gentle yoga? What if I call it yoga for lazy people? Like, what do I do to get people to move with me? And I didn't even want to do, I didn't even want to teach that. Like I didn't even want to do that, but I didn't want to work out alone. And I knew if I didn't work out, I would just sink into depression. Like every day in Indiana, I just cried because I was so lonely.
Becky Brouwer (41:56)
You're good for lazy people. I love that.
Yeah.
Emily (42:12)
and I missed what I lost. And so I knew that not working out wasn't an option, but I also knew I needed to have a plan B. And so every day I'd go to the park and I knew nobody wasn't gonna come. So my plan B was to just work out to something that made me happy, just to just do what I wanted to do. And so I started making up a workout.
to Newsy's and Hamilton. And I was like, you know what? I could like progressively build this dance like I would in a fitness format. And so I did that. And then I made up one to like Tarzan and Lion King. And I even threw in a cat's one. And I taught Hannah. I was like, let's dance like cats. And then I started like looking forward to it. I was like, I hope nobody comes to my class so I can do my Newsy's and Hamilton one.
You know, and I just started doing this and it brought me it brought me joy again. And, you know, it's so crazy. There's no way I would have ever created that had I not been ripped away from everything had been pulled completely out of that world. And it created a space for me to, you know, start again, to start again. Yeah.
Becky Brouwer (43:30)
build something else, yeah. And if you would have
stayed in Idaho, it would have never been born.
Emily (43:36)
Never
And so for me to go out and put myself in that really vulnerable space to like, I'm still vulnerable about it. Like I'm still making up stuff. I'm like, do you like it? You know, like, you know, it was really vulnerable. Yeah. But to be pulled away and be alone, I was only, I was only creating it to please myself. I haven't done that in a really long time. And it's just crazy how it all comes together. Cause you look at it like,
Becky Brouwer (43:49)
Need that validation, yeah.
Emily (44:06)
the whole ADHD thing and learning to work really hard, Eventually, Craig moved me out of Indiana, because I really was so depressed. So we moved to Texas.
And I remember there was a job opening for a theater teacher at an elementary school. So I was like, well, I'm not a teacher. I don't have, I've never subs ever, but I, but I could do this. Like I'm a primary chorister. I'm good at singing and dancing. Like I'm really good at this. Yeah. So I like put together my performing like teacher resume. It's a very interesting resume for a teacher.
And I just sent it in and I got a call from the high school director and he's like, you know what, don't tell anybody that I called, I'll deny it, but I want to talk to you. And so like, he's like, will you please talk to me about your resume? I am very, very interested in who you are. And so like we talked about everything and I shared my Indiana story and I talked to him about this thing and he's like, will you teach your class to my kids? Like the first week of school.
And I did and it was so crazy, Becky, it was like re living what I had imagined in that park. Like I could see myself teaching. It was like a pure manifestation. And I just knew I was like, this is what I'm gonna do. Forget teaching at an elementary school. This is what I'm gonna do.
Just because a door is closed doesn't mean that it's not going to open. We just have to be patient. We have to be resilient. We have to be willing to just work through, do the reps, do the work. And just when it's time, it's time. We don't have to make everything happen. And that's something I have to repeat to myself.
all the time. Like you, Emily, you don't have to make things happen. Just show up in your greatness, fall in love with the work and you'll be ready when the door opens. And so like that's the, that's the Indiana story and the theater fitness origin story. I feel like it's really awesome. And like, I'm just grateful for it because I am a way more resilient person. Like this, just being an entrepreneur.
Becky Brouwer (46:08)
Yay.
Mm.
Emily (46:24)
is like the most resilient thing a person can do. Like it's just so hard because you have to wear all the hats. You have to wear all the hats and nobody's good at everything. Nobody. So you have to be humble. You're humbled and you have to reach out to other people. You have to make choices that you're not sure how it's going to be received. You have to put a dollar sign to your success. You have to measure your success with a dollar sign sometimes. That's really hard.
Becky Brouwer (46:29)
Very Sendy.
No, yeah.
Yeah. And
there's failures happen and you have to pick yourself up from those failures and move forward and say, okay, well, that didn't work. Okay, let's try something else and try again. And I have seen you do that over and over again. So I appreciate you telling me the whole story because I knew parts of it, but I think that's the first time I've heard the whole thing through and
Emily (46:56)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, well,
this is the first time anybody wanted to listen to me talk for that long.
Becky Brouwer (47:18)
Whatever. But you have been able to make such a huge impact on these kids, especially that have, you know, really resonated with you, because there are a lot of people out there who are like you, Emily, and they don't know they feel like they don't have friends, you know, that maybe they're too high energy, or maybe they have, you know, have other physical limitations that keep them from
Emily (47:20)
you
Becky Brouwer (47:44)
feeling good about themselves. maybe you can talk a little bit about how you've been able to impact these kids.
Emily (47:49)
Yeah.
Well, I mean, like that's my heart. And so like, regardless of the setbacks that I have and the mistakes that I make, and you know, how hard it is to get a business started, like, I will keep on wiggling and trying to figure it out until that until everything works out because like, it's so important. What you are doing, what I am doing, it's so important, especially for young kids, because they live in a world we didn't live in.
They have access to the world just by pulling up their phone and getting on Instagram and Facebook. It's so dangerous and it's so unhealthy. And like, I know I would have fallen apart. Like lucky for me, I had a mom instead of a phone, but like, it's just so important for these kids to be able to have really healthy learning atmospheres where they were given a challenge.
and they're pushed to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable. And what I'm doing is something that's up their alley. It's something that they're interested in. And I have unique skills and abilities to pull things out of people that they didn't know they could because of the work that I put into how I put it together and the work I put into how I present it.
how I coach it and how I motivate kids to be able to keep trying and to have educators out there that have the skills and practice those skills and have their heart in the right place to meet kids where they're at. Like that is what changes a kid's life when they feel like they can connect to you.
Becky Brouwer (49:17)
Yeah.
Emily (49:37)
When they feel like you care about them being successful and giving them what they need to be successful. And when you give them the patience for them to work through it and, the love and then, and the lack of any judgment. Like you don't look at them and go, well, you can't do this. That is not allowed. That is not allowed. And when they see you step into that and treat other kids that way.
Becky Brouwer (49:53)
Right, right.
bright.
Emily (50:07)
and it's across the board to everyone, they slowly start stepping into it and finding joy and they're able to laugh at themselves. And then what's so great is you get that you bring them along on this ride. And because they don't get off the train, they arrive at the destination and they actually do execute something that they didn't realize that they could. like this last, this last,
conference, I taught 20 workshops in nine days. Like it was crazy. We won't we don't need to talk about how I survived. But the important thing was is I moved kids in a way that they'd never experienced before. And there's always one kid that lingers behind and sobs and hugs me like you have no idea what this means to me. I've never been able to get my energy out this way. And
It was never allowed and I've always had to restrain it. And I'm sitting here going, yes, I do know what that means. Yes, I do. this other boy.
Becky Brouwer (51:04)
I know.
Emily (51:06)
I always felt like I was a bad dancer, but you made me feel like I could do anything. And I was just like, yes. And like every time, every time you do something hard and you see it through and you finish, no matter how good it was, every time you finish, like there are those aha moments that happen to your brain. We are physically building brain synapses and forging
Protein patterns of thought in the brain and that is how I am bringing resilience to these human beings in measurable terms like it's rep upon rep experience upon experience and so like That's what it's all about is because I don't want any kids Experiencing the mental turmoil. I put myself through
Becky Brouwer (51:46)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Emily (52:01)
when I was their age because of my ADHD, because of my social situations that I was going through, I hated it. And I just, I just want to fight back and like equip these kids with resiliency.
Becky Brouwer (52:12)
Yeah, and at the same time, they do, right, they do have
to go through some of that turmoil, just like you did, so that they can grow. But look, what you're being able to do is inspire them to show them that there is another way. And you can be that person for them that they can look up to and say, okay, there is a pathway for me, I have a way that I can be happy and I can be
satisfied with the person that I am. And I think that that is powerful. That is so powerful. you know, and part of the reason why I wanted you on this podcast, too, is because you have, you know, this this niche that you've chosen with theater, you know, fitness is, is a new niche, you know, there is nobody that is is doing this out here. And so I went with you to
Emily (52:42)
Yes.
Becky Brouwer (53:03)
that first conference when you were kind of presenting this idea to the teachers, the directors and everything like that in Texas, it was so much fun. to see, like, Emily is infectious. Her energy is so infectious and she doesn't care about just dancing in the aisles of the exhibit room and getting other kids to start dancing with her. And I was taking videos of it.
Emily (53:11)
which I will love you forever for.
Becky Brouwer (53:31)
We just laughed like the whole time, didn't we? We just had so much fun. And that's how I know that you have come into where you belong. You've had this career consolidation really, where you have realized this is who I am and this is my passion and that is inspiring. And that's what I think a lot of people need to hear is that there is a place where you can feel where you belong.
Emily (53:35)
Thank you.
Becky Brouwer (53:58)
it doesn't mean that that's the only thing that you can do, right? And there are so many other things that I'm so glad that we've been able to talk through a lot of the things that you do as a parent, doing your calling in church or just growing up in a family and learning different tools and things like that to be able to learn how to succeed a little bit better. So I think that that is...
Emily (54:02)
Right.
Becky Brouwer (54:24)
something that is seriously working in your life right now is your the theater fitness and it's and you're growing a lot to as a business as well as as a person and everything and to keep going in spite of I know this year has been like crazy for you up and down.
Emily (54:29)
Yeah.
my gosh, yeah, our house
flooded. We were without a kitchen for six months. Yeah, that. I know, we could talk forever.
Becky Brouwer (54:49)
Well, there's that. So there's some resilience right there. Just living without a kitchen. know.
my goodness. Okay, tell me where do you see theater fitness going in the future? What are your goals for it?
Emily (55:04)
I want theater fitness to be available to everyone in the world. I really do. There's a few steps that need to take place before that happens. But I do, I want, I'm very passionate about empowering other people to be able to coach and teach and take, take their, their unique strengths and bring it across to be able to change other people's lives because there are tools that change my life and those tools can.
change other people's lives so that they can, you know, be them be their best selves. So I, the goal is to be ready in a year to start certifying other individuals to teach. So I don't have to teach 20 workshops in nine days, somebody else can do it. But I do, I want to have that in place. I want to be able to have at least
20 workouts available online and have all of that like scripted for other instructors to learn from. I have 15. Yeah, I have 15 now. Yeah, I'm working on a
Becky Brouwer (56:07)
And you already have some online and you've got a subscription
program,
Emily (56:17)
I do. Yeah,
I have some stuff on for I just posted my my elf the musical and white Christmas musical on YouTube, YouTube let me post that one. I just posted that one on YouTube. And then all of them are on my website for people to subscribe. And I got three more subscribers from from those students do that. I'm much more fun in person. We'll say that.
Becky Brouwer (56:33)
amazing.
Wow.
you
You're always fun.
Emily (56:45)
But yeah, if I can
have, I want to fit like, know that like, if I can get other people to be able to bring that with their own special sauce, they'll be successful in their own realm, you know? So I want to be able to provide that so that other people can take it places. It'd be really cool for theater fitness to be something that professionals use to be able to.
Becky Brouwer (56:58)
Yeah.
Emily (57:11)
prepare for, you know, an upcoming cruise job that they're going to take, or like they're preparing to, you know, go to Broadway and have all these shows. Like I would love that to be a part of their fitness routine. You know, that would be, that would be really cool too.
Becky Brouwer (57:26)
Ideal. Yeah, no, I love that. Well, there you go.
You know, if anybody's interested in learning more about it, definitely look.
Emily (57:34)
Yeah.
Becky Brouwer (57:36)
Are we ready for rapid fire questions?
Emily (57:39)
Sure, you can ask me anything you want, Becky.
Becky Brouwer (57:41)
Okay,
all right, let's do this. Okay, so what has brought you joy in the last 24 hours besides talking to me?
Emily (57:48)
seriously, you always bring me
joy. Okay. My answer to this is chamomile. Like something, something that I have to do during December is like plan out a time where I don't do anything except sit in front of the Christmas tree, listen to Christmas crooners and drink chamomile.
Becky Brouwer (57:55)
Ha, love chamomile, little bit of tea, seriously.
Love it.
Emily (58:15)
And I do it after
everyone goes to bed. Craig goes to bed, the kids go to bed, and I make my chamomile. And I sit there and I listen to Ella Fitzgerald and Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. And I just drink my chamomile and it makes me so happy. I know you should do it.
Becky Brouwer (58:32)
That's amazing. Sometimes we do need to sit still. I'm actually
going to, because I love chamomile tea too. And so I'm going to do that tonight.
Emily (58:38)
you
Becky Brouwer (58:41)
Sounds good. All right, what was the last TV show or documentary that you watched that you really liked?
Emily (58:47)
Okay, it's probably controversial. But whatever I watched. What is a woman from Matt Walsh?
Becky Brouwer (58:53)
Okay. All right.
What was the last really good book that you read?
Emily (58:59)
I actually finally read the Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. But there was another book that Susan recommended that I read, read, and it was actually really eye-opening. It's called In Order to Live by Yeonmi Park. And it's a book about a girl who escaped North Korea. And it was just...
extremely eye-opening.
pretty incredible. And that would be a great book for like resiliency, like what she had to do to survive and, like her transition from that kind of ideology and life that she'd ever known to completely different culture and everything and how she was able to learn. Like even though the world said that
you know, she wasn't smart or she wasn't, I kind of related to her, feeling like she wasn't capable of learning or not smart enough. She defied all of that. And I, was very, very inspiring.
Becky Brouwer (1:00:00)
Yeah.
Okay, very cool. All right, name your favorite vacation spot or somewhere you'd like to go on a vacation.
Emily (1:00:15)
Mm. Yes. I want to go to New York because I've never gone to New York and I want to see a Broadway musical. I've never been
Becky Brouwer (1:00:20)
You've never been?
my gosh, we need to plan a sister's trip to New York.
Emily (1:00:25)
I know
it's kind of embarrassing when I go to all these workshops and I see all these people coming in from New York and they'll be talking about so and so and I'm like, I'm from Idaho and I've never been there.
But yeah, I definitely, that's gonna happen. I'll probably go there because Broadway is gonna hire me to train Sutton Foster and Hugh Jackman probably. It's gonna happen, manifest it.
Becky Brouwer (1:00:46)
Probably.
Emily (1:00:49)
Mm-hmm.
Becky Brouwer (1:00:49)
What's
one thing you try to do every day?
Emily (1:00:52)
I try to put the Lord before my phone every day. Yep, I say that to me first thing I get up in the morning, I'm like, put the Lord first. And so every day I wake up, I wake up Hyrum and I take him to seminary and I come home, I read my scriptures, I pray.
Becky Brouwer (1:00:57)
Mmm, yeah.
Emily (1:01:15)
And then I pick him up and take him to swim team and I sit in the lobby and then I plan my day and I ask the Lord if it's a good idea. And then usually by then I've contacted a few people and I can take him to school. That's my favorite part of the day because I put the Lord first and everything aligns usually.
Becky Brouwer (1:01:36)
Yeah, perfect.
that's true.
what is something, Sendy, that you would recommend that I try?
Emily (1:01:45)
I have a few suggestions. Okay. Sitting still. Ha ha.
Becky Brouwer (1:01:48)
wow, okay.
That's what
Kim Jonas said too. I'm trying. I really am. I'm like slow at trying. Yes, I am. Okay.
Emily (1:01:56)
Hey, you are you're gonna do it tonight. You're gonna get cam, chamomile and you're gonna do that tonight.
theater fitness. Ha ha. Go on mine. Go on.
Becky Brouwer (1:02:06)
I know Emily's tried
me. my goodness. I'm getting better. It's okay.
Emily (1:02:09)
No, they always look
so silly. But that's the whole philosophy behind it. It's like, are you capable of continuing to move through something that's uncomfortable? Because because anybody can dance, it's just a matter of just shedding that wall that we put up of insecurity and just letting go. You just have to let go. And so it's supposed to have that little feeling you need to do it again. Okay, but the okay. Challenge.
Becky Brouwer (1:02:12)
Yeah.
Eh.
Insecurity, right.
Okay.
Emily (1:02:38)
is for you to take a group fitness class, any group fitness class you want.
Becky Brouwer (1:02:44)
well. As a matter of fact, I just signed up for one that's going to start in January. yeah, good friend of mine is teaching it. And so I'm gonna and there's actually several of my friends in it. And that's part of the reason I thought this is a good place for me to be I want to be around other people when I'm exercising sometimes. But yeah, that is a hard thing for me to do. I don't like exercising in front of people. usually go downstairs to my little gym and
Emily (1:02:50)
Perfect!
Yes.
Becky Brouwer (1:03:11)
it down there because I feel a little funny being around people who are exercising. yeah, it'll be Sendy thing.
Emily (1:03:17)
It's people
who exercise in a group atmosphere are statistically more successful in achieving their goals because of the community aspect and the coaching and the motivation that happens from being in a group. So there you go. Be Sendy Becky.
Becky Brouwer (1:03:33)
Love it. Thank you.
author
Thank you so much for being on Sendy Mom today and thank you to all of our audience for listening. I hope this was entertaining for you. Be sure to leave me a review wherever you listen to your podcasts and come on sendymom.com, sign up so you can be part of our community. There's a lot of really cool people in the world.
Emily (1:03:38)
Mm-hmm. You're welcome.
Becky Brouwer (1:04:00)
And that's part of why I do this. I just love talking to people about their stories because I think you're amazing, Emily. Love you lots. Yeah. All right. Well, thank you everybody and we'll see you next time.
Emily (1:04:08)
I think you're amazing too, Becky. I love you too.