With a Song in my Heart

Kevin and Harley have a listening party! Plus: The return of passion or ration!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What is Beardless, D*ckless Me?

For 25 years, Kevin Smith has tried to make his beardless, dickless twin of a daughter Harley laugh in real life. Now he does it every week on a podcast.

00:00:25
Speaker 1: That welcome back. It's too beardless, dickless me. I'm Kevin Smith.

00:00:32
Speaker 2: And I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

00:00:33
Speaker 1: Don't take much.

00:00:37
Speaker 3: Make funny mouth?

00:00:38
Speaker 4: Do you remember? Remember?

00:00:41
Speaker 1: But out his mouth? Now I understand you.

00:00:45
Speaker 4: It's not a thing from SpongeBob, which one when he's like, you know what I'm talking.

00:00:52
Speaker 1: About doing a funny animal voice and your grandmother's and I love it.

00:00:57
Speaker 4: Yeah, somewhere Grandma.

00:00:59
Speaker 1: Crease with me when I saw her when I was there last week she was her in Virginia. We're both talking about how to listening to the show, and my mom was just like, oh, I love it when she does the animal voices.

00:01:11
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, when I should.

00:01:13
Speaker 1: That's what. You want to get something for your grandmother for Christmas? Do an entire radio play? You could do it? Yeah, I mean, look, you expecting it. She'll be like if you get her a fucking sweater or gift certificate, she's gonna be like I thought.

00:01:31
Speaker 4: Oh, I had a whole cartoon coming.

00:01:33
Speaker 3: I was looking for a.

00:01:34
Speaker 1: One woman show. You could either take, like, you know, an old script like fucking Medea, not Tyler Perry's media.

00:01:49
Speaker 3: I forgot about that.

00:01:50
Speaker 1: I will never forget about that.

00:01:55
Speaker 5: That's actually so embarrassing.

00:01:58
Speaker 1: You could take our town, bro, and while there's our town to do. All of the characters in your cat voices and that's a really sad place in the cat voices, like George and Emily dud And they live in this funeral because when people the living don't care much about the dead, don't care much about the living moment, our towns are very depressing.

00:02:27
Speaker 5: Show why am I holding.

00:02:30
Speaker 4: Dramatically like, no, I'll do the Crucible.

00:02:37
Speaker 1: It's right there the whole time. Oh my god, So do John Proctor as.

00:02:43
Speaker 4: More night woman?

00:02:46
Speaker 3: Yes, give me, give me night, give me name.

00:02:59
Speaker 1: Do you remember the who's the villain in the Crucible? Who's like the Darth Vader of the Crucible. You wouldn't be the first person expression was there like a which finder? General? Motherfucker?

00:03:16
Speaker 4: Like somebody that it wasn't it wasn't not John Proctor?

00:03:22
Speaker 1: Well, no, no, no, he's the guy. Get me.

00:03:25
Speaker 5: I don't even know what.

00:03:28
Speaker 1: You were that guy. I often confuse it too with the Scarlet letter. Yeah, where the heroine of that is a heroine as a lady is the lead. But in the other in the Crucible, it's that whiny prick John Proctor, and give me my name. Although you know what, that fucking play might be more like we're not more but relevant now in the age of like cancel culture, he could be like the fucking they literally Hatron Saint of canceled culture.

00:04:03
Speaker 2: They literally canceled him, they.

00:04:05
Speaker 1: Did, and it was ultimately it wasn't like they canceled his fucking life. They canceled his fucking reputation. That's what he's mad.

00:04:13
Speaker 4: But give me back my nrme man literally and then he dies culture.

00:04:19
Speaker 6: It's your fucking show.

00:04:21
Speaker 1: You played the lead. What do you know? Please do? Oh my god, at least they tell you that much in school.

00:04:27
Speaker 3: You don't know something, look it up.

00:04:28
Speaker 4: I think that's why.

00:04:32
Speaker 1: Look it up? Okay, So why are you talking?

00:04:34
Speaker 4: I can't I can't things?

00:04:37
Speaker 3: Is that what's going on?

00:04:39
Speaker 1: John Proctor? For those who are like what the fuck again? And most people in the other it's like.

00:04:46
Speaker 4: We know, bro, oh my gosh, our cover art should have been that picture of me crying from the crucible our podcast post.

00:04:54
Speaker 1: You mean the picture of you and and Olivia afterwards. That'll be a T shirt when we start making t shirts. That's going on the T shirt give Me Back my Name?

00:05:06
Speaker 4: We really got to do that.

00:05:11
Speaker 1: I like that. Would you wear it? Though? See, that's that's when you become.

00:05:17
Speaker 6: I don't wear bullshit.

00:05:20
Speaker 1: You can't expect somebody to wear a give me back my Name woman unless you're willing to wear yourself and they see you at some sort of red carpet influencer event wearing your T shirt.

00:05:31
Speaker 4: No rock b I mustn't. I should have known, because I do remember working myself up for the emotional ending of the Crucible. As for my performance, you like letting people slap you and ship. I was listening to the saddest my chemical romance songs, which one I think I.

00:05:55
Speaker 5: Will care me?

00:05:57
Speaker 4: No, I'd listened to like them, something like that, I'm not what is it?

00:06:05
Speaker 1: I'm not Okay, that's.

00:06:08
Speaker 4: Not a sad song. There's some tragic songs.

00:06:13
Speaker 1: Speaking of which have you got in your MCR ticket chat?

00:06:16
Speaker 2: Speaking of which, could you reach.

00:06:19
Speaker 1: Lloyd and your father for access? Is your right away please? As Ashley, my co owner in the theater, has already bought her tickets. Oh she has an extra one. She says, like you know, She's like, it's right around your birthday next year. So if you know of anybody, I was like, I may know someone, but in any event, I will reach out and be like, Harley, we'll pay through the nose for tickets. Just give me the link that give it to me. Where do you want to go see them? Oh? Child of privilege?

00:06:59
Speaker 2: My gosh.

00:07:00
Speaker 5: Wow.

00:07:00
Speaker 1: A lot of people want to see him in their home show because there their home show would be New Jersey.

00:07:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's where they're from.

00:07:08
Speaker 1: The trailer for the tour is very dramatic. It's yes. I was at first, I was like, what's going on? And I was like, oh, all right, I'm so excited. I'm so excited. What folks, if you listen to the show, thank you. If you watch the show, you're doing so at that Kevin Smith Club if you ever want to watch the show, join that Kevin Smith Club dot com. Because right now I'm about to pan over show the folks at home. What is sitting adjacent to Harley Quinn? Now you can tell them what it is.

00:07:47
Speaker 4: My dad mysteriously asked for me to bring over my record player today and I'm about to see why.

00:07:55
Speaker 1: Right right now, we got a record player in the hissy and that's because you're the a You're the only person I know with the record player, and it's one of those like it's not no.

00:08:08
Speaker 4: I'm sure uncle has a record player.

00:08:10
Speaker 1: Malcolm got rid of a lot of his records and stuff. Really, I mean, that's not fair. I know people with here, let me rephrase, I know a lot of people with record players. The only one I know with a portable, yeah, the only one who you like, you bought it at like.

00:08:22
Speaker 2: A like on Amazon.

00:08:25
Speaker 1: It's a Victrola brand, but it's like a record player and a CD player and a radio, you know, and then and it's made of plastic, so under one hundred bucks, right max?

00:08:39
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe two hundred yeah, I think the two max.

00:08:44
Speaker 1: But you know, and it's for somebody who's like, hey, man, I like, I like the idea of records, but not somebody who's like, I have a fucking five thousand dollars needle on my quadrupon man, Like you gotta step back, Like I know people like that who spend five ten thousand dollars on a record needle.

00:09:01
Speaker 4: So the just the needle, the needle, like the needle.

00:09:06
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, So that's people who take records seriously so I know those guys. I would never in a million years be like, hey, man, can you bring your record player over? But this one that I've seen in your house?

00:09:18
Speaker 4: Okay, so you're telling me I have a piece.

00:09:19
Speaker 1: Of shit record shit, but just saying like, because they're gonna hear sound, I'm setting things up.

00:09:25
Speaker 5: Okay, this ain't.

00:09:26
Speaker 1: Gonna sound like in their head they're like, oh, we're gonna hear some fucking rich melodic You're gonna hear some ship coming off like an AM radio, especially because it's coming off mics that aren't even jack so true, but it ain't gonna matter. Beardless, beardless dick Lit. That's our audience. Are you a beardless dick Lit? Join us for the live show?

00:09:47
Speaker 4: That's so good? Beardless dick Lit.

00:09:50
Speaker 5: That's so good?

00:09:51
Speaker 1: Or really, maybe you drop the beardless and just make it a dick Lit.

00:09:54
Speaker 4: A beard Lit, Oh my god, a shirt that says I'm a dick Lit.

00:09:59
Speaker 1: Now you think would you wear that shirt? Because if you wear it, then we sell a lot. But if you're not willing to wear it, then they're like, look, she's willing to wear Jack fucking Skelington, like Disney needs any more fucking help. But you wear yourself and others people see it and they're like, dick, lit, I want that shirt.

00:10:16
Speaker 4: No, yeah, no, I would if I feel like there's much more of a likelihood of me wearing that shirt than the other one.

00:10:24
Speaker 2: I already forgot what it was.

00:10:26
Speaker 1: The shirt of you as crying John Proctor. That is so punk rock like the way I see it, it looks like the original. No, no, no, Steve.

00:10:34
Speaker 4: Dave is going to look you said, if it was just the if it was just the I can't even say. It's just a photo of me crying, yeah, with no text, then yes, okay.

00:10:46
Speaker 1: But we split the difference on the shirt. Just the photo of you crying, Olivia advis that is mysterious, like this is teaking and Sarah thing. No, it's just the picture of you crying as fucking John Proctor on the back in small print, not huge. Give me back my name, Kamma woman. Okay, I asked you to bring the record player for a good reason.

00:11:17
Speaker 2: Okay.

00:11:18
Speaker 1: For many episodes now we have been speaking about or I've been imitating one of the biggest vocal stars. That's right, the great father Dave. Now, perhaps last episode, perhaps the episode before we were speaking.

00:11:39
Speaker 4: About.

00:11:42
Speaker 1: We were speaking about Father Dave's record that he once gave out to the parishioners with a song in my Heart, which I described as him leaning on a fireplace and casual in his German shepherds were around him and God, Chris Davis, you know, of course, said Heather and and other Harley. Chris Davis sends me a link to the record on eBay and he goes, is this what you were talking about? And it was like a fucking like a pure I've never done Heroin, but this is what I imagine Heroin feel like. If Heroin was made of nostalgia. I remembered everything about it right, except there are no German shepherds on it. Please he ordered it.

00:12:34
Speaker 5: Let me see this.

00:12:35
Speaker 1: Now, and he sent it.

00:12:40
Speaker 7: And here it is is that.

00:12:48
Speaker 4: Look at that is an insane His.

00:12:52
Speaker 1: Act's name is Father Dave, but no caller.

00:12:56
Speaker 4: To be honest by your cover. I just had an image like that. I would make it my bans come.

00:13:04
Speaker 1: This should also be the beardless stickless T shirt. He's gonna come after us. I think he's gone. Even if he wasn't, like you know, I'd be like, hey man, forgive me, and you'd be like, oh, I.

00:13:18
Speaker 3: Got him, job, he got.

00:13:22
Speaker 4: Wait, we gotta we actually have to put this on a shirt.

00:13:26
Speaker 5: I'd wear that shirts so hard.

00:13:30
Speaker 4: I'd wear that shirt.

00:13:31
Speaker 1: So do you understand that would really fuck with like my head in the time loop way where I'm like, your father Dave is current, he's happening, Father Dave is trending. Wait, father Dave is an influencer.

00:13:47
Speaker 4: I need this. I need a baby.

00:13:49
Speaker 3: Tea with a song in my heart.

00:13:53
Speaker 4: And Father Dave, I would like a little bow on the collar. This is a whole. This is a whole.

00:13:59
Speaker 3: Look.

00:14:00
Speaker 1: I just want to point out I was right, there is a stocking. He is by a fireplace, no German shepherds. Yeah, But I complained that because there was a photo that he had sent on a Christmas card that my grandmother had hanging up in her house where it was him and his German shepherds, and a similar kind of I'm by the fireplace, Father da the place. Father Dave was like, well, you know, Catholic priests. I don't know if it's the same anymore, but like they got paid, they weren't doing it for free. It wasn't like no it's like the Sisters, the Franciscan Nuns, the Sisters the Infant Jesus. One of their vows was poverty, right, so they were like fucking like had no money, weren't allowed to have money, and beg literally go like, hey, what are you throwing out at a store?

00:14:43
Speaker 2: Oh my god.

00:14:44
Speaker 1: Now, father Dave was part of the Catholic church, and they're like, oh, we'll take care of the poor sometimes, but we're not being poor, Like I gave up sacks for live. Fuck you pay me and they got paid handsomely. So he has no wife, no dependence, no kid. Oh you were German shepherds. And I believe he came from money to begin with, because back in the day that was the way, like the rich kids became priests and shit like that because their mom's pressure me into or their grandmoms and shit like that. Sometimes they're dad's mostly was a mom thing. So he had money, money enough to be like I'm gonna cut a record and give it out. He didn't sell.

00:15:21
Speaker 4: It wasn't like I had to go just give it out.

00:15:23
Speaker 1: It was a gift like here on the back.

00:15:25
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

00:15:26
Speaker 1: It says to all who encouraged me and to all who have helped me, helped to produce this album. I'm sincerely grateful. Please accept this Christmas gift as a token of our lasting friendship. Oh my god, Father.

00:15:42
Speaker 4: Dave, that's beautiful, I mean beautifully, said Father Dave.

00:15:48
Speaker 1: Taser to share records in Middlesex, New Jersey's where we recorded it. Now there are here are the musicians list, ready, Reverend g Delzel that is vocals. That's Father Dave.

00:16:03
Speaker 4: Oh, that's father Dad.

00:16:05
Speaker 1: Then he's got basically he's back. He is leading a three piece combo. That's it. You're only gonna hear three instruments at work here? Okay, what three do you think they are?

00:16:20
Speaker 2: That's actually because.

00:16:21
Speaker 1: You're a musician, this is what you do. You want to call it fucking nick and get the answer from.

00:16:25
Speaker 4: Your all right, good?

00:16:28
Speaker 1: Nice?

00:16:31
Speaker 4: Two more to go drums?

00:16:34
Speaker 1: Nice nice, Paul, all right, that's two. What is the third instrument? Would you like to use your what is it called fucking helpline or whatever the fuck? And who wants to be a millionaire? Would you like to use your lifeline.

00:16:51
Speaker 4: Called a double bass?

00:16:55
Speaker 1: Judges, will we accept double bass? Judges say the answer is bass? You win? Really three piece band behind the piano, bass and drums, where's the guitar?

00:17:07
Speaker 2: That's a good question.

00:17:08
Speaker 1: But it was like, rhythm, that's for Satan. I was, I'm not doing rhythm. That's Elvis. Elvis, that's Satan.

00:17:17
Speaker 4: Oh my god, these.

00:17:19
Speaker 1: Are the songs you're gonna hear, and I'm gonna havend this to so you can examine it yourself, because it's a fucking relic of a time that is never coming back, you know what. They're not making any more of this. So first off, thank you Chris Davis for securing it for real. Thank you to the motherfucker who's like, I'll put it on e Bay?

00:17:38
Speaker 4: Who sold?

00:17:38
Speaker 5: How much was it?

00:17:40
Speaker 1: That's almost like I went to buy it, but he had bought it out from under me. It was so sweet because I really wanted to know who are you because they had to be from my parents.

00:17:49
Speaker 4: Oh my god, it'd be.

00:17:51
Speaker 1: Amazing if it was mamily. She's like, and she was like, we got four dollars and fifty cents this much joy for under ten dollars easily.

00:18:01
Speaker 5: Wow.

00:18:02
Speaker 1: And it's crazy because in terms of sentiment of value.

00:18:07
Speaker 5: I wouldn't get that close to the father date record.

00:18:09
Speaker 1: Well, you will have to hear this fucking set, liss bitch. Oh, he's gonna drop a hot fucking ten tracks. Do you have ten on your new album that you're gonna be dropping this year?

00:18:21
Speaker 5: Don't?

00:18:22
Speaker 1: Oh, then you ain't rolling My father Dave with a song in my Heart?

00:18:25
Speaker 4: Okay? Are they originals or are they covers?

00:18:29
Speaker 5: Well, because now excuse me.

00:18:34
Speaker 1: Father Dave did not rock a single original. It's all covered. Yes, what do you think he's gonna write a song about like I gave up sex now I don't fuck and it was a mistake? Like is that song about you? And he's like, no, I just make my songs up. Song, I've got German Shepherds and I'm recording an album of my own. Are you sure the songs? Your songs come.

00:19:02
Speaker 5: Just ideas I pick up on.

00:19:04
Speaker 1: I doubt that Jesus is real?

00:19:07
Speaker 3: Is that?

00:19:09
Speaker 1: Wait?

00:19:09
Speaker 4: Was that you?

00:19:10
Speaker 1: No?

00:19:10
Speaker 5: No, I swear that's that's.

00:19:12
Speaker 1: Not just you know. It's like, hey, man, who's the character in American Pie? Is he real?

00:19:20
Speaker 3: Wish I could have sex?

00:19:24
Speaker 1: Here are the tracks? Side one.

00:19:27
Speaker 2: I'm ready.

00:19:30
Speaker 4: Maybe I'm not ready, You're not, You're not.

00:19:33
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest with you. Side one leans heavily toward the holidays. It works.

00:19:38
Speaker 5: Is it not a Christmas album?

00:19:40
Speaker 6: Well, I mean it depends.

00:19:43
Speaker 5: Is it not a Christmas album?

00:19:45
Speaker 1: You see a Christmas album? Me, I see a love making soundtrack right here?

00:19:50
Speaker 5: What the fun?

00:19:52
Speaker 1: Well? The first track puts it on front Street. Okay, oh come oh ye, faithful Father Dave laying it down.

00:20:03
Speaker 2: How old are you?

00:20:04
Speaker 1: I am fifty four? But he italicized and bolded the word.

00:20:09
Speaker 5: Come let me see, let me see.

00:20:12
Speaker 1: He didn't shut That's what a comedy record would have done. It's Father Dave ship Oh my God. Track two, Oh Holy Night a banger.

00:20:23
Speaker 4: Oh, that's Nana's favorite song.

00:20:25
Speaker 1: Well, Nana's gonna have it redefined when she hears Father Dave.

00:20:29
Speaker 4: Oh my God, drop that track.

00:20:30
Speaker 1: We're gonna you know, honestly, this ain't one episode. This is gonna be like a It should be.

00:20:36
Speaker 4: One every episode.

00:20:37
Speaker 1: Ten where we go by song.

00:20:39
Speaker 4: I think we should go song by song.

00:20:41
Speaker 1: People are like, I stopped listening to your show when you guys found that rabbit hole of that old dead priest. It was funny when you guys are talking each other, But then he just really took one episode and listened to one song of an old Dead Priest and like you really treated it too seriously. I just lost interested to be the stick of speed.

00:21:01
Speaker 5: When people ask what it's about. What this show is about?

00:21:04
Speaker 1: Like, it used to be about a father and a daughter and having fun, but then it became about this Old Dead Priest.

00:21:11
Speaker 4: Album.

00:21:12
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a Stephen King novella. Now we're trapped in this haunted circle with a record that came from I don't know, maybe Hell. It's got a deceptive priest on the cover, but I think this record trapped them in Hell. And the more it goes around and round and spins, the grooves represent the different levels of it.

00:21:29
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Oh Holy Night?

00:21:32
Speaker 1: Is the second one track? Three Silent Night?

00:21:36
Speaker 2: He's got both.

00:21:37
Speaker 1: Of course he's got all the nights, of course. Uh Number four O little Town of Bethlehem.

00:21:45
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't know if I'm.

00:21:48
Speaker 1: Little town up? How still we see the lie?

00:21:58
Speaker 4: Is it a Christmas one?

00:21:59
Speaker 1: Yeah? And a church like choir song? Number five Ave Maria, Yeah.

00:22:07
Speaker 5: That's I gotta hear that one first time.

00:22:11
Speaker 1: When you hear it, you will never hear I have.

00:22:13
Speaker 4: To hear that familiar with Yes, yes, I am.

00:22:18
Speaker 1: Side to Now we get a little secular. Is where he gets sexy. This is where he takes off the collar, loosens the collar, his hair on his chest. I'm still holding it up. If you're watching at home, you've been staring at me holding up this record time.

00:22:32
Speaker 4: I cannot wait to have this on a shirt like, I'm not joking, wait.

00:22:36
Speaker 1: To have it on a shirt.

00:22:36
Speaker 3: Bro.

00:22:37
Speaker 1: I guarantee you're gonna be like tonight puff and you drop the needle and be like, let's dance.

00:22:45
Speaker 4: I'm so glad that you said dance because with you, you never know.

00:22:50
Speaker 1: We're gonna be and Mom, we're gonna like roll up on your house and watch from the bushes, and we're gonna see you guys slow dancing through your wind. Father because your boys, so a lot of this music is gonna head home with him.

00:23:02
Speaker 2: Oh my god, if you.

00:23:04
Speaker 1: Spin it, he'll be like, you know what, he's right, Ave Marine all fucking day A side to My Way.

00:23:21
Speaker 5: Okay. The fact that Father Dave did the same cover sub Vicious.

00:23:28
Speaker 4: No doubt he's honestly fired.

00:23:31
Speaker 1: It's just as ironically that's number two side to the second track is the titular track with a song in.

00:23:39
Speaker 2: My Father Dave.

00:23:41
Speaker 1: He is not the titular album. Sorry father. He named the whole song after himself, Father say so. It is. Also it's a rock opera. Good I thank you. I like that. You think that I could do Father Dave. But wait until you hear Father Dave. Then you'll never accept my pale imitation ever again. You'll be like bro Father Dave. Serious pipes. He sings from the diaphra.

00:24:11
Speaker 4: We actually have to start on the second side, unless it's Ave Maria, because we should say the others for christ towards the Christmas season.

00:24:19
Speaker 1: Number three never walk alone. It's a it's an emotional song usually if you're a big funeral song, and you'll know walk.

00:24:36
Speaker 3: Number four.

00:24:38
Speaker 1: Camelot's Impossible Dream, to dream, the impossible dream, Oh my god. Five, This is where shit gets emotional. This is where you can tell why he wound up in the priesthood. Oh wonderful mother of mine. You know all the words too, because it was your favorite song as a kid that you would perform at school play school play. At your school, they bring it out and once again everyone's favorite holiday class quin Smith singing her rendition of Wonderful Mother of Mine.

00:25:25
Speaker 3: I don't know how.

00:25:28
Speaker 1: Here. I'll let you touch the album cover with your thank you so much. You can examine it, see that it's real. To help me, as the magician, tell the audience what you see is actually what it is.

00:25:39
Speaker 4: Wow, oh my god. Engineered and mixed by Randy Robinson Double R.

00:25:47
Speaker 1: He was the king addition to Double R. That all these people are probably.

00:25:55
Speaker 4: Dead, even even Phyllis Bonau.

00:26:00
Speaker 1: Something tells me, if you're the lady working on some priest's homemade pressed album, you're definitely did which side do we want to go with?

00:26:09
Speaker 5: I would like to hear look at all.

00:26:12
Speaker 1: The static, look at all this like there's so much fucking.

00:26:17
Speaker 4: Alven Maria is on side one. It is the last track, all right.

00:26:23
Speaker 1: Put the needle on the record, Put the needle on the record, put the reading and the drum beat goes like this, Oh yeah.

00:26:33
Speaker 2: Okay, it seems it's not moving yet.

00:26:36
Speaker 4: Now it's moving.

00:26:37
Speaker 1: Oh wow, wow. Don't just drop it like that, like you want to go to the last take.

00:26:43
Speaker 4: You said you want to go, yeah, the last song? Oh yeah, I forgot, it's in the middle. I mean us my record.

00:26:56
Speaker 1: Turn up.

00:26:58
Speaker 7: This gentleman Father Day more, I can crank that.

00:27:32
Speaker 5: That's as loud as he.

00:27:33
Speaker 6: Goes, busting eye tie fuck rolling as ours.

00:28:11
Speaker 1: Wow, it's been a while since I used that lever on a record player. I can't listen to all of that?

00:28:42
Speaker 5: Wait, what think about the whole thing.

00:28:47
Speaker 4: I was gubing?

00:28:49
Speaker 1: Were you really? So? What do you as a professional? What do you think of the voice of Father Dave?

00:28:54
Speaker 4: All right, here's my honest opinion.

00:28:58
Speaker 1: I turned it off because we're gonna drop it. Oh yeah, we're going back.

00:29:01
Speaker 2: We're going back.

00:29:02
Speaker 1: Okay, maybe not, that's my face.

00:29:06
Speaker 4: Actually, No, I want to hear my way, don't you Yeah, I want to hear my way.

00:29:10
Speaker 2: Here we are.

00:29:13
Speaker 4: I honestly think, obviously, fire, you're just as good as Father did.

00:29:20
Speaker 1: Seriously, I could drop a Father Day record like it's hot.

00:29:22
Speaker 4: No, honestly, like I thought it was gonna be, you're you're just.

00:29:29
Speaker 1: As pretty close. But he knows how to breathe.

00:29:35
Speaker 2: From his diaphragm, say better, trope.

00:29:41
Speaker 1: Trope like a pro and stuff you're supposed to sing from, like your gut and whatnot.

00:29:46
Speaker 2: Here I got you, yeah, please.

00:29:50
Speaker 1: Here, I thought you was a music You we're gonna be like instead, you're like his when.

00:29:59
Speaker 4: Mm hmmm, oh yeah, oh that is class.

00:30:08
Speaker 2: Me dropping it.

00:30:10
Speaker 4: Here we go, Oh, let's sucking go. Please let it be the same version of subvision.

00:30:27
Speaker 2: Panel Curtais.

00:30:40
Speaker 4: Do you hear that bass in the background?

00:30:44
Speaker 1: Sweet face? All right, so he's keeping it tame, Yeah, but it's you can hear that little jazzy bass popping through. I was surprised by that.

00:30:59
Speaker 4: Surprise is.

00:31:04
Speaker 5: Okay?

00:31:12
Speaker 1: I wish he had talked that part through.

00:31:21
Speaker 4: M Oh wow, okay.

00:31:37
Speaker 1: They should have mixed him up. He's buried by that fucking band. I'm waiting for the big finish, breaking dame. Fuck now I feel it. Oh I got it.

00:31:55
Speaker 5: You're scary yet, fuck you?

00:32:07
Speaker 3: I sped the funk out.

00:32:21
Speaker 1: Oh now he's bringing it down. He's like, I ain't done yet, so we'll go back. We're in the valley right now, but you know he's going back.

00:32:34
Speaker 5: It's gonna get so hard in a minute.

00:32:36
Speaker 1: No doubt. Kids, unbuckle your pants, take your shirt off, because it's about to get wild, fuck wild. His father Day brings it to a close his way.

00:32:50
Speaker 4: Our producer is like, are you.

00:32:52
Speaker 5: Looking kidding me?

00:32:59
Speaker 1: It's all him. It's by himself. Here he comes, bring it hard, bring you Dave? Oh come on, man, he did it his way?

00:33:44
Speaker 4: Oh my god, the other Dave.

00:33:47
Speaker 2: That was good.

00:33:47
Speaker 1: Wait what's after this one? What's the track after this? Don't look at look at the album cover. What a rag amager?

00:33:54
Speaker 6: Hey, looking at your speeding wrecking?

00:33:56
Speaker 4: But with the song in my heart?

00:34:00
Speaker 1: All right, so let's let's let let's hear what that begins because that's the title track.

00:34:04
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so true.

00:34:09
Speaker 1: My I am completely unfamiliar with this song.

00:34:19
Speaker 4: I can't say I know it. In the street, I'm like, bring it back to my way.

00:34:45
Speaker 5: I'll hear that again.

00:34:47
Speaker 1: So you know why I don't believe this?

00:34:49
Speaker 4: Why no disrespect the mother day?

00:34:54
Speaker 5: But that's not.

00:34:54
Speaker 1: Because it's kind of a love song and he's you know what, you don't know about fucking that he was he was a priest, but he knew that his own way. No man with a song in my heart, it's about like beating some broad ship. So he was just going through the motions. He don't know, he don't know the feelings on that one.

00:35:13
Speaker 5: My way you felt my way, You fucking felt that.

00:35:16
Speaker 1: So what is after that one?

00:35:19
Speaker 4: Never walk alone.

00:35:23
Speaker 2: My way was powerful. I wish there was.

00:35:26
Speaker 1: Never walk alone ends fire.

00:35:27
Speaker 2: If I remember correct, really.

00:35:30
Speaker 1: See that expert drop that was good, could have been a DJ man god as exactly as I remember.

00:35:48
Speaker 4: Yours sounds better. Think I'm not joking.

00:36:16
Speaker 1: What the exact wrong way with the lever? You couldn't have gone you It's a fifty to fifty option. For some reason, you pressed it down. I was like, she really wants to groove into this record.

00:36:29
Speaker 5: What is giving me anxiety?

00:36:33
Speaker 1: It really it's pulling it out of you. Let's skip it a little bit.

00:36:41
Speaker 5: You feel sad?

00:36:42
Speaker 1: Oh, bro, it ends? Oh this is the dream, the impossible dream. Oh.

00:36:55
Speaker 5: I was like, damn that other song really progressed.

00:37:00
Speaker 1: Scenes some Italian restaurant. You had to wait.

00:37:06
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is this is more than jam.

00:37:08
Speaker 1: This is a Broadway jam. It's from Camelot.

00:37:11
Speaker 4: Oh that's why it's fire.

00:37:16
Speaker 1: And what's after this song?

00:37:21
Speaker 2: Wonderful Mother of Mine?

00:37:23
Speaker 1: I gotta hear him thinking about his mine.

00:37:27
Speaker 4: I can't wait to have father Dave merch. Oh, let's hear give the people what they've been waiting for. I mean, wonderful Mother of Mine?

00:37:44
Speaker 1: Ready to hear the.

00:37:46
Speaker 3: Fuck m.

00:38:30
Speaker 1: Was scary is your anthem right there?

00:38:32
Speaker 5: Your visual expressions were scary.

00:38:37
Speaker 4: If the other haunted piano, Bro, If the other songs.

00:38:41
Speaker 1: Song makes you think that he killed his mother.

00:38:45
Speaker 4: The other one about love, you didn't feel it. This one you feel it.

00:38:49
Speaker 1: Bro. You got to love your mom to become a priest, because it's your mom. That's like you should become a priest.

00:38:54
Speaker 4: You feel some type of way about his mom.

00:38:57
Speaker 5: This is him on the what if.

00:38:58
Speaker 4: It was on the.

00:39:02
Speaker 1: I must be here too. It's like an Irish standard fields of time.

00:39:20
Speaker 4: Mm hmm.

00:39:30
Speaker 6: There'll never be another for me like that. Wonderful likes his mom.

00:39:50
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I thought I like my mom.

00:39:53
Speaker 4: He's got feelings this feelings about as mom. Oh my lord.

00:40:04
Speaker 1: He should have won even higher would have amazing. He brought it down the end. You should kept going fasted.

00:40:22
Speaker 3: You know, really, what for.

00:40:26
Speaker 5: Moms, it looks like you're gonna explode.

00:40:33
Speaker 1: I don't think I was more committed than he was. People at a thatched your records were like maybe another take. He's like, what too much? Come on, faithful, Holy night, Sound of night, Little town of Bethlehem.

00:40:49
Speaker 2: We have to say the other side the holidays.

00:40:53
Speaker 1: A two parter at least.

00:40:55
Speaker 4: Yeah, at the fucking least, never.

00:40:57
Speaker 1: Walk along the possible dream wonderful month. You know, I gotta tell you, a wonderful mother of mine really did not disappoint.

00:41:04
Speaker 4: Who really didn't.

00:41:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the dude who loves he's got some issues. That's a guy could have been fucking therapy.

00:41:11
Speaker 4: Amen to that break through the whole.

00:41:14
Speaker 1: Fucking How wonderful was she? Dave?

00:41:18
Speaker 5: For real? What if it was stuck?

00:41:29
Speaker 1: He didn't. I served many a mass, I was gonna say with but like, as the altar boy, I don't know if you're really I mean, you're a big part of the show. There's only two people up there, right, priest. Well, sometimes there's people that read from the gospels, right, so motherfucker comes up a reading from the Book of Paul or whatever the fuck. But they're just guest stars. They blow out of there and ship. The whole fucking show is the priest, and you, like the Balti boy, you're the You're the fucking co star. So I guess his right to say I served with him all the masses I served with him. Guy maybe said like twenty things to me over the course of twelve years. He did not like children, which is it? Like, believe me, I mentioned, I'm like, I really wish you would have cuddled me. I got enough love at a moman shit like that. But he kept it very pro So you know, in a world when people start talking about like priests touching children, I was like, what, no, surely no, because my experience was completely biased because I was an unfuckable child untouched by my parish priest.

00:42:34
Speaker 5: Oh my god, thank god it kids.

00:42:39
Speaker 1: And you know why he didn't care about kids, you just heard it.

00:42:42
Speaker 4: He had he he had other things to do, man, talk to you, He had music to.

00:42:50
Speaker 1: Make, He had a song in his heart. I know, but it would have been amazing if I could have had a convers like if I can go back in time, do tell now I know the way in, you know, because again I was there. You had to be there fifteen minutes for a mask again, and shit, since Momily drove, I was there like two seconds for a mask again. So when I came in, That's why he was always frustrated, because I'd be coming in and be likeugh, because it was like time to go. One time he went out and started mass without me and you could tell he would be more than one time, three times probably across my whole career. Momily got us there fucking too late, and like he was already on the altar and stuff, and he had pre prepared the like wine and everything and shit, and you could tell he was like, pissyo.

00:43:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like.

00:43:40
Speaker 1: You had one job, and it's like, well, technically it's not a job because I ain't getting paid.

00:43:44
Speaker 2: The lateness starts with Momily, it does.

00:43:47
Speaker 1: But you know what, no complaints. Everything else started with Momily too, and all that shit was good, so true. It's just not her fault that she taught me that, like your time is more valuable than anyone else's so bad Father Dave Wow, through the grace of God him or herself herself in my world and Chris Davis finding that truly, I never than you. I never thank you, Chris. I never would have even thought to look. I think we might have said something about finding online, but like, like that's like finding It's like I'm trying to find a rainbow from nineteen seventy eight online. What are the chances? And somebody's like, oh my god, I.

00:44:35
Speaker 3: Have to, I have to.

00:44:37
Speaker 2: That was what a hero, thank you.

00:44:39
Speaker 1: Truly man, but professional critique as a as a recording artist.

00:44:46
Speaker 4: Oh, do I have any notes?

00:44:49
Speaker 5: Well, because you're also because.

00:44:54
Speaker 1: Remembering that we're listening to it on like less No, you know, like.

00:45:00
Speaker 4: It's everything I hoped it would be. It really is, except on one song that but that it just didn't have, didn't have the emotion behind.

00:45:10
Speaker 1: It because he's like with a song in my heart unless he was like with a song in my heart form.

00:45:16
Speaker 4: Mind you get him there, I really would.

00:45:21
Speaker 1: It's true, man, dude who loves his mother. Oh, he loves his.

00:45:24
Speaker 4: Mother, my wonderful mother Auve Maria and and obviously my way fucking bangers.

00:45:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, he did bring it.

00:45:33
Speaker 4: My way was great. I'm like, good job, buddy. I've listened to it again right now.

00:45:38
Speaker 1: Now he's gone and he had no heirs, so you know, nobody owns this.

00:45:47
Speaker 4: That's like, why.

00:45:48
Speaker 1: Don't you mix some of that into your current work?

00:45:51
Speaker 5: The covers samples.

00:45:55
Speaker 1: Like samples song and then you jump on over it like song a bitch, like songs people like I'm on Guard new track by a Wench featuring a dead priest from New Jersey, It's a god. They're like you know when people write about it, you have to do a press conference and ship everyone's kissing your ass. But then there's that one journalist. It's like, oh, it's all fine now, but how are you gonna do this on the road?

00:46:32
Speaker 5: Oh my god?

00:46:34
Speaker 4: And then you gotta figure out a way to fucking I bring back Father Dave to.

00:46:37
Speaker 1: The Father Dave hologram in my heart. People like, I don't believe you, bullshit.

00:46:44
Speaker 4: They're like, why did they use this technology to bring back that's all?

00:46:49
Speaker 1: People like my way was clearly a fire song. What did they do the song in my heart?

00:46:53
Speaker 4: Why didn't they bring they made a.

00:46:55
Speaker 1: Deal with the estate, because well they shouldn't have done that. Eight. Clearly, some poor choices were made, like us when we were like, hey, let's do a podcast. This is episode twenty one. How many episodes did we get to a vegan aptoa?

00:47:17
Speaker 4: I think nineteen, So we've passed.

00:47:20
Speaker 5: We've already passed grown up.

00:47:22
Speaker 1: You're a Big Girl Now. That was the name of the TV show when I was a kid, had Diana Canova and it was called You're a Big Girl Now, And it was about Danny Thomas played her dad and she was like a single mom raising a kid. Around the late seventies, early ladies, they started doing a lot of like, hey man, divorce is real, because up until then people like divorce. Now it's like bigfoot. I ain't never seen it, wow, particularly in the Catholic church and shit. But then even the Catholics were like, look, you know how hard it is to fucking stay married to the same ass person forever?

00:47:59
Speaker 2: Silence, pour one out, pour one out.

00:48:04
Speaker 1: Divorce.

00:48:05
Speaker 2: That's true.

00:48:05
Speaker 1: My parents never got divorced, as far as I know, your parents haven't gotten divorced yet. Days young Yeah, all right, Okay, in that way, I guess we're I guess just a little bit better than everybody else.

00:48:23
Speaker 4: Shut up, Okay, time to go Passion irration.

00:48:28
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, passion irration. All right, I got one here. Well, let's do like, instead of like a list, let's just do one passion one ration.

00:48:37
Speaker 2: And we changed it every time.

00:48:40
Speaker 1: We're still figuring out the show.

00:48:41
Speaker 5: Yeah, just let us live, okay.

00:48:46
Speaker 1: And organically become what it wants to be. Let us go, okay, passion for me? Yeah, besties Vegan grocery store and Slash convenience, So what would you call it?

00:49:03
Speaker 2: Grocery grocery store.

00:49:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is here in town. I love going to it. Whenever I go to it, I feel happy. They play reggae music, bomb shopping. Yeah, and oh it's it's the vibe is so lovely and uh I go and buy a bunch of stuff and it's like mappy place. They have like soft served ice cream. Make me like a brat that walk around, eat and shop with.

00:49:26
Speaker 4: It's the best ever.

00:49:28
Speaker 1: It's dope, and it's a real mom and pop operation like the Saint fucking like Besties a part of Amazon, Like it's they're making a goal of it, like and it's you know, profit margins on stores are very slim, but like I'd rather drive half an hour and go to that joint for half an hour is about fifteen minutes, but fifteen minutes I could go to a groose grocery and real close. But instead I like going air and ship. It's worth the ride and worth the extra few bucks to support because everything is premium price because they don't have a lot of it.

00:50:04
Speaker 4: It's not it's all vegan, cruelty free. I think it's all small business.

00:50:08
Speaker 1: That's he goes. He scours the earth.

00:50:11
Speaker 4: Both of them.

00:50:12
Speaker 1: He's like j Matt and Asia whatever. Yeah, the two of them, they scoured the earth and they find vegan products that like, you know, you know, like one day they were like look, man, cheese whiz and like what the fuck?

00:50:25
Speaker 4: They fucking find the coolest vegan the most like innovative vegan foods.

00:50:31
Speaker 2: And it's so cool.

00:50:33
Speaker 4: You can get vegan steaks from there, vegan fucking seafoods.

00:50:38
Speaker 2: It like a vegan.

00:50:41
Speaker 4: Yes, they're everything. And I just got my tattoo from Asia.

00:50:47
Speaker 1: So you got a tattoo, man, I did.

00:50:50
Speaker 2: That's my passion, my new tattoo.

00:50:52
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it hands right off to your passion. Your passion is your new tattoo.

00:50:56
Speaker 2: I love it.

00:50:57
Speaker 1: Tell folks, uh what your tattoo is. It's of my bunny cinname. So you got a cinnamon tattoo? Where'd you get it?

00:51:05
Speaker 2: On my ribs?

00:51:07
Speaker 1: On your ribs? Right on your side? Yeah?

00:51:10
Speaker 4: It hurt. It felt like someone was cutting open my skin with her knife.

00:51:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, you who, like fucking you know, at the needle at the children's hospital, you know, over twenty years ago. But I guess you you bring it.

00:51:22
Speaker 5: Up a lot, horrifying you bring it up.

00:51:26
Speaker 1: I felt so bad. I was like, I was complicit, and you were looking at me like, how could you let them do this to me?

00:51:30
Speaker 5: This is your fault?

00:51:31
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was like, but it's for your own good and you're like, I understand that, So you willfully sat there and had to penetrate your fucking skin over and over again with a needle.

00:51:41
Speaker 2: I had Asian like.

00:51:42
Speaker 1: A singer sewing machine, and Asia, who co owns Yes also Sighed, hustles as a tattoo artist. She is inkeed.

00:51:54
Speaker 4: She has been tattooing anything for fifteen years and she her full name is Asia Rain. If you ever want to get a really cool tattoo, Rain is like a fucking Asia Rain, literally the coolest name. And she tattoos out of the shop called Proud of You.

00:52:14
Speaker 1: Proud of You. So that's where you went. How long did your tattoo take?

00:52:18
Speaker 4: Like ten minutes?

00:52:20
Speaker 3: That's it?

00:52:21
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's not like tattoo, but it's beautiful. I love the simplicity.

00:52:26
Speaker 4: It's just it's like a little cartoon, but not like a drawing typically cinema.

00:52:32
Speaker 1: Mistakably cinnamon.

00:52:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was like, cinnamon has a very distinct face.

00:52:36
Speaker 4: And I was like yeah, he does.

00:52:40
Speaker 1: Yeah. I can't imagine saying that to a parent and being told no.

00:52:43
Speaker 4: They don't.

00:52:44
Speaker 1: Their face is very standard.

00:52:46
Speaker 4: Someone's like Harley has a very distinct face to you.

00:52:56
Speaker 1: Ration you so the tattoo, Yeah, you post it on Instagram? Yeah, And I was like I thought when you sent the picture in the family chat, I was like, oh, I'm not post it before her because I get all the likes for it and shit. But then I was like, you know what, to her lived experience, might as well litter have this one. So you put it up? Yeah, it was. Did it get a lot of action traction? Here's why I thought it would get a lot of action in traction? Aside from like, hey everybody got a new tattoo. You were like, hey, everybody, here's three quarters side boob for you.

00:53:29
Speaker 2: Don't be rude.

00:53:30
Speaker 1: Not being rude, but I'm just saying there was. It was a very like here's my tattoo, here's the rest. Why do you put that on only fans?

00:53:37
Speaker 4: Be rude?

00:53:39
Speaker 1: What was the reaction? And first off, how many likes?

00:53:42
Speaker 3: I don't know, I get more.

00:53:44
Speaker 1: Likes than the average bear. You do know what I'm not saying? You know, the exact number, but you know the kind of stuff that does gets likes.

00:53:51
Speaker 4: I know the I know the comments, which is awful. I look at all the comments.

00:53:56
Speaker 1: But I don't really look at the likes and move the fuck on. That's the only part that.

00:54:00
Speaker 2: As I'm psychotic, you are.

00:54:05
Speaker 1: So what were the comments?

00:54:07
Speaker 4: Some people were some people were super nice, and some people were just straight up rude, not even about the tattoo, just about me as a person. Someone was like, oh, nice lip filler, and I was like, oh no, actually have lip filler. And then somebody else You're.

00:54:29
Speaker 1: Looking tattoo and the like nice lip filler, literally, and did they do they mean I'm the tattoo itself or they're saying no me and no other way to take it.

00:54:40
Speaker 4: And then somebody, somebody fucking left a comment that was like, Cinnamon looks like she just came out of the pet cemetery.

00:54:50
Speaker 1: Yeah I don't.

00:54:51
Speaker 4: I posted a picture of Cinnamon in the middle of the two pictures of the tattoo. Yeah I don't like years old, like that wasn't like a year ago too, So that person bad comment.

00:55:07
Speaker 5: I hated that comment.

00:55:09
Speaker 1: That was a rude comment. But nobody like, hey man, ship tattoo. Everyone seemed to like the tattoo.

00:55:15
Speaker 4: Someone commented in were people.

00:55:18
Speaker 1: Like, do you have a cake nail? I still have her fingernail here.

00:55:21
Speaker 2: It's going to stay here for it.

00:55:22
Speaker 1: It's fun to put on, but then it falls right off once again. For those listening, like, what are you talking about? Watch the show at that dot com?

00:55:31
Speaker 2: But anyway, anyways, I don't know. Anyways, No, it's time for me to.

00:55:36
Speaker 1: Leave with your newly tattooed lats as you went off into Disneyland.

00:55:43
Speaker 4: Today, I am once again going to Disney. Is my friend's birthday again?

00:55:51
Speaker 1: Is that right?

00:55:52
Speaker 3: Yes?

00:55:52
Speaker 4: I went on Monday last week for a friend's birthday and this week for this Monday for a friend's birthday. Because everyone knows I have a magic key. So if someone's going for their birthday, they're.

00:56:04
Speaker 2: Like, man's the magic key, an annual pass.

00:56:07
Speaker 1: It's called the magic key. Yeah, so what is it cheaper to go with you or something?

00:56:12
Speaker 4: No, but they're just like, you can, you won't have to buy a ticket or anything, because it's like everyone knows I'll go to Disney anytime.

00:56:19
Speaker 1: Because yes, yeah, we had to be careful with her when she was a kid, white van pull up, be like, hey, little girl, you want to go to disney Land? Yeah? Got that man Crimson.

00:56:32
Speaker 5: Horrifying thought, yeah, horrifying.

00:56:33
Speaker 1: No about you're twenty five now, and those thoughts like, well, you know what, that's true. You know, white vans never just do that.

00:56:40
Speaker 5: They have a beardless.

00:56:43
Speaker 1: No, you can't go out on that sad Nope, we gotta flip it. So the van doors, Hey little girl, you want to go to Disneyland. You're like fuck yeah, and you get him back and who's in the van Mickey himself.

00:56:54
Speaker 2: That's scary? Why Mickey himself.

00:56:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, He's like, and take you to disney Land with me.

00:57:02
Speaker 4: I've just seen this time makes it scarier for some reason. I don't know what I like white bands unless it's move and then.

00:57:10
Speaker 1: I'm like, you cat, I don't know he has your cat in the back of the band, Like get in, Harley.

00:57:15
Speaker 3: Please, closing door, Mommy.

00:57:21
Speaker 8: Big round, I'm lost mouse two thousand, big.

00:57:28
Speaker 3: Giant run to see her.

00:57:29
Speaker 1: It's called mem He's one of them super rich people that do creepy things.

00:57:36
Speaker 3: Yes, will you go all day?

00:57:42
Speaker 4: Probably too, Well, it's like two right now, so I'll probably get there around like three thirty in the park, closer that midnight again, Like.

00:57:51
Speaker 1: It's something that like when you wow.

00:57:55
Speaker 3: Time, Oh hold on.

00:58:00
Speaker 4: Wait what did it? How long was it the recording?

00:58:03
Speaker 1: It's the limit on the other card. My camera went out, so we have done the show on camera.

00:58:14
Speaker 2: And I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

00:58:17
Speaker 1: Go down, dickless Father Day Day.

00:58:31
Speaker 8: This has been a podcast production podcast podcast using our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids, did you like what you just heard?

00:58:44
Speaker 1: Well, guess what. We've got tons more, man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you at that Kevinsmith club dot com. Go sign up now.