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You’re tired.
Not just physically; though yeah, that too.
You’re tired in your bones. In your soul.
Trying to be a steady husband, an intentional dad, a man of God… but deep down, you feel like you’re falling short. Like you’re carrying more than you know how to hold.
Dad Tired is a podcast for men who are ready to stop pretending and start healing.
Not with self-help tips or religious platitudes, but by anchoring their lives in something (and Someone) stronger.
Hosted by Jerrad Lopes, a husband, dad of four, and fellow struggler, this show is a weekly invitation to find rest for your soul, clarity for your calling, and the courage to lead your family well.
Through honest stories, biblical truth, and deep conversations you’ll be reminded:
You’re not alone. You’re not too far gone. And the man you want to be is only found in Jesus.
This isn’t about trying harder.
It’s about coming home.
Hey guys, welcome back to the Dad Tired podcast. Uh, really good interview today with my buddy Jordan Felice, super talented recording artist. Before we jump into that, couple announcements for you first. Um, we have a Dad Tired annual retreat coming up in September. Tickets are running out for that, so if you want to join that, go to dad tire.com, click the annual retreat tap.
But also there's actually one gonna happen in the uk. So if you are a listener to the Da Tired podcast in the uk, um, we have a, a volunteer, one of our DA tired guys who's part of the DA Tired community. Um, he decided to organize one of these to get UK guys together. Um, and you guys are gonna be doing stuff, um, kind of corresponding to the event that we're having here in the us.
So. Um, you, you'll get together at a retreat center. You'll do, you'll hang out, get activities, eat meals together, uh, and then you'll watch our sessions that we're doing in, in the us. Um, sometimes live depending on the timing. And then some of them you'll watch the morning after. Um, because it's recorded, I think you guys will be sleeping as we are doing those sessions.
But all that to say, you'll still get all the sessions that we're doing here in the us Um, but in the uk, so if you are in. The UK and you would like to be part of this. You can go to Da Tire uk. This is kind of an unofficial DA tire thing. Um, run by some volunteers through the DA Tire Ministry. If you wanted to learn more about that, again, go to Da Tire uk, but you need to sign up for that right away so that they can, um, make sure that they have all the spots filled up for that.
Uh, also want to thank my friends over at Range Leather for sponsoring today's episode. You can see if you're watching on Spotify or on YouTube. I'm wearing a range leather hat. Uh, it's filthy 'cause I'm a data four, and that's probably like applesauce and yogurt you see there. Um, I love these hats. The, they use the best leather around and so as it ages, it just looks better and better.
And they don't just do hats. Um, they've got wallets and. Um, they've got bands for like your watch. They've got stuff that you can get for your wife. They make just really, really high quality products. Uh, range Leather is a big fan of Dad Tired. We're a big fan of them. They've got a faith integrated culture.
Everything's made in Wyoming and in-house. Um, it's all locally made and, um, the dad are the, the range leather guys are also dad tired guys. And so I love supporting them because. Their local business, um, doing stuff nationwide, probably worldwide, but they're also guys that love Jesus and again, have a faith integrated culture.
They want to be a blessing to their community. You can show up in Wyoming and watch them craft all the things that they've got going on at their workshop. But if you go to range letter.com and then just forward slash dad tired, we've got a whole page set up where you can see all the best of the gear that they have.
Again, hats, wallets, watches, all kinds of, um, watch bands, all kinds of stuff. So anyway, dad tired.com, or I'm sorry, range leather.com/dad Tire. They'll also give you a discount on that 15% off your online order. So, uh, want to real quick, one more thing before we jump in. You can see right behind me again, if you're watching on Spotify or on YouTube.
We've got these brand new dad tired dinnertime discussion cards. Um, these are a super easy way to talk to your kids about Jesus. I know so many of you who are listening to this show want to be more intentional as spiritual leaders of your home and you feel stuck. Or maybe you get through a whole day and you're like, I didn't talk about Jesus to my kids one time.
Um, this is the. Easiest way to do it. I try to make it as easy as possible. You just grab this stack of cards, pull one of the cards out of the deck, it has an intentional question that's going to point your child's eyes and ears back to Jesus, back to the gospel and just get conversation going around the things of God.
And then if you want to kind of go the extra mile, there are verses attached to each question. So you can pull out a Bible, you can just keep a Bible and these cards on your dinner table, on your breakfast table in the car. Um, pull out one of the cards, read the question, get conversation going, and then open the Bible to the corresponding verses.
Read the verse. That's all you have to do is just literally read the verses, ask the questions, and you will get your kids talking about Jesus. So you can pick up a set of those cards@dadtire.com and uh, you'll see it on the front page there. Anyway, that being said, let's dive into today's episode.
Jordan, super excited to be hanging out with you today, man. Um, we're two tired dads, bro. It's in the morning. Uh, yeah, it's nine. It's 9:00 AM where I am. It's eight. What is it eight or is it eight or nine? You guys have a weird time zone in Tennessee? Yeah, it's eight. It's eight. Okay. Yeah, it is weird. It has to state, like eastern has to state is central, which is so confusing because like you can drive like an hour like east from Nashville and all of a sudden you're in Eastern.
Uh, so it is, it is so weird 'cause it's like, you know, I've had like interviews where, um, they've been in Knoxville, but I've been in like Nashville. But like, we have to, there's so much coordinating that has to happen. It's like, what is happening? I was on a plane recently and we were going to, I think Knoxville.
Yeah. And, and some lady on the plane like kind of asked the whole area. She's like, Hey, does anyone know what time it is when we land? And I just so confidently said the time, like, and just got shut down so hard by like all the local Tennessee people. They just like made fun. I was like, oh, I didn't realize that.
Yeah, you're like two time zones. Ah, crap. Well, you know, I just, one time I tried to look cool in front of people. Yeah. The one time I tried to like, you know what it is, 11:00 PM you know, just like, actually it just look like an idiot dude. Yeah. Um, are you normally a morning person? You know, it really depends.
I go through seasons. I think my natural, like as I get like a little bit older, I am slowly but surely becoming more of a morning person and not so much of a night owl. Mm-hmm. But I feel like. I used to be like the guy that I'd stay up until like, you know, two in the morning and sleep until, you know, nine o'clock or whatever.
Yeah. Um, but now, you know, it's, it's like one of those things where I feel like we're watching like a show or something we'll get invested in and then, uh, and then I'll just like literally zonk out and go to bed and you know what? I feel like we're like the mid-morning, we're not like, like the five amers, you know what I mean?
Yeah. We're like the seven 30 to eight 30 range. Um, whereas I feel like a lot of people feel like that's super late. Um, but in Tennessee that's like so normal. Um, so it is so interesting. Uh, but I do find myself like I. Kind of itching to get to bed, get to bed even earlier now, which is set like, I, I like, I don't know, dude.
Like, I don't know if that's just like a thing. You start getting older and you're like, it's an old man thing. Dude, I think I wanna go to bed old. I'm 35. Yeah. I'm 37, bro. And you start to have kids and you just like, yeah. It's crazy how much of an old man, like from twenties to thirties, you turn into an old man, bro.
Yeah, dude. It's weird. It's, it is so weird. And it's like, I feel like I'm also in this really weird place. 'cause I have to go from like home, like home Jordan to like, I travel for a living and I sing and I do music for a living Jordan, right? So like, there's like the the road me, which is like, I get to bed at like 2:00 AM every night, you know what I mean?
And then I sleep until 10 30 on the bus and then I'm up and it's kind like a weird shift. And then I come home. And you know, the kids are down by eight 30 and my adrenaline is still pumping. 'cause I'd usually be on stage at this time. And then like, I'm trying to figure out like how to go to bed before two.
'cause I know they're gonna be up at seven 30. You know what I mean? It's like, it's such like a, a wrestling match with sleep. But, uh, but not to get too so far. Yeah. Not to get too deep here, like too quickly, but, um, do you, do you feel like, are there layers to that compartmentalization of your, like, I'm musician Jordan and I'm dad husband.
Like I, the, the, the reason the question behind the question is, I think for us dudes we're really good at compartmentalizing. A hundred percent. We've got, we've got buckets of like, yes, I'm here with my friends and I've got a spiritual book and I've got a work thing, but like, yep. You, the reason I'm bringing it up is 'cause you kind of said I had to go from this Jordan to this Jordan.
Like, do you feel that? Yeah. In multiple ways. Oh, oh, a hundred percent. Like, and it's, it's weird because like, I've even tried to do like, um, like if you talk to my road crew, like, I'm trying to not necessarily like blend them, but get the compartmentalizations closer together, I guess. Mm-hmm. In my brain. So like, even on like the last couple tours, like all the guys, you know, usually were getting up on the bus at, you know, midnight from like, taking showers or whatever.
Um, and I've just been going straight to bed, you know, and it's like, I'm not staying up and eating post-show food and doing the, you know, it's like, you know, because we, we have like, usually we'll do like a dinner and then we'll do like some super late, you know, it's like. There's burgers on the bus. It's 1230 at night, you know, it's like, so, um, so yeah, I do feel like I, I definitely have like a weird like thing where I have to like, like clock in and clock out of like who I am, you know, where I am, you know what I mean?
Which is like a strange, which is like a strange, uh, it's, it's just a weird, like, it's, it's a weird thing to try to navigate on like a weekly basis when I'm on the road, you know what I mean? Yeah. Are there any parts that are like, um, like schedule, obviously sleep, schedule, eating, all that gets thrown off, but even just like, um, I mean, in some ways you're kind of living like a bachelor lifestyle, you know?
Yes. You're not in husband mode or dad mode. Yes. And then you gotta click back and you're eating burgers at midnight. Like most of us haven't done that, you know, since which, which by the way, my, well, yeah, my buddy, a really good friend of mine, Micah Tyler. Yes. I was hanging out with him recently, and he was telling me how like the band, like they were raiding, um, they had like categories for how good a bathroom is or shower is.
Yes. And they're all like, 'cause they're, you're taking showers like everywhere. Like sometimes you're Yeah. In a school. Yes. Sometimes you're at a church and the stadiums, it's just like, yep. They had categories. Anyway, that's, but most of us, like, aren't living that kind of life. Like most dudes listening to this.
That's You're not eating, eating burgers at midnight with your buddies. No. No. And thank God, thank God you're not. Thank God. Yeah, totally. Like, it's so funny, I've gotten to the place where I'm like, this isn't cool. You know what I mean? Like, this isn't like the right dude that's so sick. You know what I mean?
It's like. No, bro, this is not tight. It's not cool to be eating like a cheeseburger at 1230 at night. You know what I mean? Right. Like, you know, so it's so funny because like we have just like, yeah, it's such an interesting thing, but I definitely feel like dudes do compartmentalize things really well, and I think we also can like overload certain compartments in our lives.
You know what I mean? And I think I What do you mean when you say that? Well, I think like, we tend to shove things into compartments. Like I think guys, like, especially dads, I think you get to a place where, um, we are trying to achieve so many different things in our lives all at the same time, but also be organized and compartmentalizing things.
But I think we go through moments where we just toss something in a bucket and think like, it'll be fine there. And it, it's not okay there. Um, and so I think it's really good. Like, one of the things that I started learn, I started going to therapy about three years ago. And like I started realizing that I was just dumping stuff in like these random spots and, and my therapist, I mean, he calls it playing red light, yellow light, green light, um, which they're essentially three very broad compartments, but it's, it's like red light is the stuff that you need to stop caring about.
You know what I mean? You need to stop thinking about, 'cause it's not for the now. Um, like, it's so weird. Like I would put things like, um, like very unnecessary purchases in there, like things that I'm like, oh man, it'd be really cool to do this or that. But it's, it's like, why are you trying to work on that when that doesn't hold any, any validity or any like.
Real life issue. It's not, it's something that doesn't need to be a priority in your life, essentially. Yeah. You know what I mean? But I'd be putting that with something that I'm, like, there's an email that's been sitting in my, in my email for like the last, you know, two weeks that I haven't gotten to. So that's in the red life for some reason.
And then the yellow is like the stuff that you're like processing, I guess. But like, you are, it, it's kind of in this, like, it could go today, it could not go today. You know? And then the green is the stuff that's like flowing, right? It's like the things that are priorities like, and I think oftentimes I have, like if I have compartment, if I have compartments in my life, it's like in each thing I have a red and a yellow and a green.
Mm-hmm. But what was going on is I was just throwing stuff in there. And it would kind of like find its way into green or find its way into yellow for some reason, because it feels like I'm hucking stuff from across the room, you know? Yeah, yeah. Um, and then within those compartments, I'm also shoving them into the red and the yellow and the green.
And so you start to see all these like kind of weird subcategories of like prioriti prioritization in your life. Uh, and it's, it all of a sudden you're like, wow, I feel like a huge mess. You know what I mean? I feel like I'm not, like, this is like way ahead of like, my children right now, or this is way ahead of like, it's like my kids are overwhelming me, so I'm gonna like, you know, put my mind on this when it's like, you know, you, so then you start to realize like, what a big, and so like over the last couple years it's like, I.
I've had to like, go in and just reorganize, you know what I mean? And reprioritize things. And it takes a minute because, you know, we're all wired very differently in the way that we think and the way that we're gonna operate as like a husband or operate as a dad or a business, you know, owner, whatever it is that we're doing, we're an employee.
But, um, I think it's really good for us to like really stay focused on the things that are in the. In the green for us. And while we're, while we make sure that those things are going, we can now organize what's going on. Mm-hmm. And, you know, I think, uh, it does take a second, but it's well worth it because all of a sudden you start to see life a lot more clear.
Mm-hmm. Um, and it's not as, like, it's not as much of like a haze every day. You know, you're like, don't, what did we even do this morning? You know what I mean? Right. It's like, we're not, it's not one of those anymore. It's like, okay, this is why this matters and this is why I'm not gonna worry about this right now.
You know, I'm not gonna worry about this text from. A business partner that, you know, is irritated about this very petty thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. Um, so yeah, it's, it's, it's one of those things I feel like as a dad, I've had to learn what the, the power and the health of the word No, a lot. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh dear. Yeah. I think, I think that's something that men have a really hard, hard time dealing with. It's like telling your buddies, you, you, no, I'm not gonna go play golf. You know what I mean? It's like five hours, you know, out with your bros hanging, you know? Sounds great. But it's like EEN burgers at 1230.
It it, that's what it is. It's EEN burgers at 1230 sometimes. And then there's some days where it's like your wife is like, you know what, Hey. Go play golf. Like, right. I got it. Like, um, you know, the kids are gonna be fine. Like, we're gonna go to the pool, we're and do this, and it's not a big deal if you do this.
Yeah. But then there's other, it's like reading the room on those things, you know, that's really hard to do some, especially as a startup dad. Yeah. I, I start that. I like that. I, I think that, um, I think that a lot of guys don't know how to say no because they don't really know what they're saying yes to.
Yes. Which is I think what you're getting at. Yeah. That is, what am I really saying yes to? And if you don't know what you're saying yes to. I, I, I've always used the analogy, like, if I just pack the kids in the car and it's like, let's go somewhere. Yeah. Um, and we just start driving on the freeway, every billboard, it's like, oh, there's a Bucky's.
Like, let's turn off and check that out. Uh, like, oh, there's this alligator museum. Like, let's check that. Yeah. You know? And you're just like saying, saying yes to whatever, because you don't really know where you're going. Yeah. Versus if we had a destination, like we got in the car, we're gonna go here. Um, even the flashy billboards, as flashy as they are, and as tempting as they are, you'd be like, no.
If we say yes to that, we're not, we're missing our destination. Yeah. We're not gonna get to our destination fast enough. Yep. And so I think it's super important, um, and I like what you're saying, like really trying to like lay out clearly what am I, what do I need to say yes to, and what do I need to say no to?
Yeah. But when you have that Yes, very clearly, then you just say, it's super easy to say no. Like if I say yes to that angry, like if I put all my energy into that text message right now, that feels overwhelming. It means I'm saying no to my kids, whatever, like giving my kids my fullest attention or my fullest energy or whatever.
And not to mention, sometimes that energy that you're like exuding out of you in that moment is like you, like, I don't know about you, but sometimes I've a really hard time, uh, not showing it. Like, it's like it'll be like. Now all of a sudden I'm, I'm kind of like, 'cause, and I don't know if it's just 'cause I'm like a creative or a a, like I'm very highly sensitive, like all those things.
Like, but it'll kind of like eat at me for a minute. You know what I mean? It's like, it takes me a second. It's not like I can just send the text and be like, okay, well that's done. You know what I mean? Right, right. It's like I might kind of stew on it for a second and then my kids are kind of getting like a half Yeah.
You know, of me, you know? Yeah. Because the other half is like fully submerged in like, okay, I'm rewriting the text that what I would've said that differently, or should I, man, did I, you know, and I think that that's one of those things where, like lately, and uh, I, I mean my therapist calls it healthy sometimes.
I don't know if it's healthy or not, but I just have not been second guessing myself at all. Like, um, it's like if I say something and I'm like, you know, uh. And what, what I've found is it, it actually has led to just more accountability, I think. Hmm. Um, and not accountability of like, oh, I'm trying to keep others accountable, but more like of I am able to keep myself accountable.
Hmm. Um, where I'll send the text message if there's a discrepancy, but I'll remind myself like, what matters, what's in my green bucket? And that now makes me feel confident enough to be like, honestly, if this is frustrating for you, I totally get it and I apologize, but ultimately this is why this happened and that's it.
Period. Yeah. Um, 'cause I, I had a really hard time being direct and I think a lot of dudes can be, have a hard time being direct, uh, because they're, again, we're trying to. Juggle and we're trying to massage this and, you know what I mean? It's like we're all trying to Yeah. Do you these things? No, if you, sorry to interrupt you.
I was just gonna, if you have any part of you that's kind of a people pleaser and you want people to like you Yes. Which I imagine, you know, being on stage a lot, there's a huge part, and your, and a lot of your job relies on, do you like this? Did this sound good? Yeah. Yeah. Do people like, um, and then that, if that's already part of your personality, then it's like, it's hard to confront people.
It's hard to say hard things and, yeah. Yeah. Well, and ultimately it's not even, it's not just the appeasement too, it's also just the, like, it's, it's just life. Like you've got a wife that you have to sh you have to steward that, right? Yeah. You have to steward that relationship. You have kids, you have to steward that.
You have to be a good leader in that you have a job. You have to steward that thing. You have to steward whether you are the CEO or whether you are the, you know. Yeah, the, the runt at the bottom of the barrel, you know what I mean? It's like you have to be in that and be like, good, a good, you know, piece of that puzzle for whatever the business is, you know?
And um, so I think in a lot of ways, like, again, we just kind of get into these things and I, I feel like, um, for, like, for me, that's where like I think just reminding myself of what is true mm-hmm. What I have to prioritize in my life. And I think aligning those things biblically is like the biggest thing.
And I think, yeah. It sounds so cheesy, dude, but like, I mean, I grew up my whole life. I'm sure, I don't know if you've been a believer how, how long you've been a believer, but I, I've been a believer my whole life. Mm-hmm. And I grew up in church my whole life and it's like always put God at the top of your priority list.
Always put God at the top of your priority list. And I think. I got so numb to that statement because I'm like, okay, yeah. Like I'm gonna put God at my, you know, at the, at the helm of my life, I'm gonna do it right. But then you actually get into real life and you're like, you realize that that is not easy to do.
Like I, that's a fight every day for me. Like, that's not like something where I'm like, it is so simple for me to place God and not to, and to release control of everything every day. Totally. Like, totally. I don't know one dude that's like, dude, yeah, I woke up at like four 30 in the morning and I gave it to God this morning and I've just been crushing it ever since.
You know what I mean? Totally. Because that's another thing is like, I think, you know, in like the religious aspect and not in the relational aspect of, of our relationship with God is like. The religious aspect is we hear that like when we do that, when we give our life to Lord, the Lord, when we give our wife, our relationship with our wife, when we give our relationship with the kids, you know, it's like, dude, everything is just like, it's perfect, you know?
And it's like, actually it's not totally it and it never will be. Right? Um, we're actually like, our lives are not promised easy. Our lives have never been promised. Like anything to be simple or right, like, um, and in any capacity, it's like God actually has promised us the moment that we are believers, we've actually been promised trials and tribulations.
Like, yeah, we're, it's not like this, like fairytale like, well no, and then we just waltzed into heaven and that was it. You know what I mean? It's like, no, actually we have to go through this life and this world is gonna, it, you know, increasingly grow in a hatred for us. It's gonna increasingly grow in.
More complications, all these other things. But it's, it's, it's not that that runs us, it's that when we place God at the home of our lives in that, in that moment, we know who we're going to as our provider. We know who we're going to as our peace. We know. And that practice is what can change your entire life.
Sorry. Uh, guys, we internet cut out outta nowhere. But you were, you were talking about, uh, um, basically as we get closer to Jesus, life isn't always just gonna get better. Like there, there, in fact, we were promised trials and tribulations. And one thing I was thinking of as you were talking about that is it's not even that as we pursued, as we, as we make God the number one priority and we go into the world, yes, there's going to be people who persecute and it's gonna get harder, especially now like.
Um, you don't really fit into culture anymore as a follower of Jesus, you know, it's kind of, yeah, it's definitely, it definitely feels more upstream than it has in my lifetime, but there's also, so that's like the, that's the cultural, social aspect of it, but there's also just the personal aspect of it.
Like, as I get closer to Jesus, more of my sins are exposed and that's uncomfortable. Yeah. Just personally, like, it's not even me going on in the world, it's just like if I make God a priority, and I think, honestly, dude, this probably keeps guys not pursuing Jesus because we kind of know like if I, if I do pursue God, he's probably gonna want to deal with like that thing or this part of my life that I just, I'm frankly more comfortable just not dealing with it.
Yeah. And uh, so there's that part of it too that just, you know, it's really uncomfortable as you get closer to the light, the darkness gets exposed in you, not just out in the world, but in you. Dude. Yes. And that is so good. I think a lot of guys do struggle with that because again, it, it is outta your control.
And I think naturally we're, again, I think, I think we just like, we really tend to, we have it in our DNA God has called us to be a shepherd in a way with our families. Mm-hmm. And so he does give us that free will with that bit of control. And I think, you know, for every human, no matter if you're a dad or a mom or whatever, it's like you, you still, we all struggle with that.
Like, in, in life, you know what I mean? Um, but I think, you know, that's the thing though that I'm, I'm, I guess I'm really trying to say in a roundabout way is like, that's where, like going back to the basics of where I started, of placing God at the helm of your life, which is what again, we've been told our whole lives.
Yeah. It is one of those things though, that once you put that into practice, it's not like you do it and it changes, but when you practice it, that's where I've seen my life change. Um, that's when I've started seeing like, oh, okay. Yeah. Um, and it is, it is such a weird thing because again, it's like I feel like we get kind of numb to totally what we're being told at church all the time because we're told it so many times and it's almost like, it's almost like we kind of excuse.
Well, yeah. I mean, yeah, okay, yeah, I'll do that. You know? But it's like, man, no, like when you do that, like when you really throw your whole life into that, it really does change everything, man. Like, you know, God, God is God for a reason. And when he tells you like, Hey, me, you know, marriage. Children. Yeah. You know, like, job is somewhere down here, not up here.
You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like all of a sudden you're like, oh man, this makes a lot of sense. And uh, that green portion that I've been talking about, that's what I'm talking about, is like, there's like five to 10 things that should be in that green thing all the time. And when those things are right, all the rest of it just kinda lines up for you because you already have your priorities in, in check and you know exactly who you are and what your purpose is.
And uh, and none of it has to do with a lot of the things that I think we like to put over there. Yeah. I think what you just said at the end there is the, the, the key bro. Like, you know who you're and what you're supposed to do. Like that's that the identity piece. Yeah. All of the problems in my life as a man, as a dad, as a husband.
Have been as a result of me losing track of my identity, losing sight of my identity. Yes. Yep. Um, it's all rooted in that and Yep. And so when we say things in church, like, you gotta make God number one, it's pretty vague. And the reason that starts to get numb is 'cause it's kind of cheesy. It's like, well what is it?
Do I turn on K Love and listen to a Jordan song? Uh, because that makes me go number one. Which maybe it is, maybe it is. Maybe it is. Um, but you know, for most of us, like what does that really mean? Yeah. And for me, like if I'm just being honest, usually the biggest fights in my life Yeah. Uh, with my wife have been dude just losing track of identity.
I need something from her. Yeah. Or I feel insecure about something in myself from her. Yeah. And I write a whole narrative in my brain and I take it out on her or I'm like, there's some kind of disconnect and all of it is. I've just forgot. I'm a love child of God. My identity comes because I'm, I'm a son of his.
Yeah. I'm delighted in by him, dude. All my own sin as a result of that, like, I'm looking for, um, satisfaction and joy and identity and somebody to tell me I'm doing a good job or whatever it is, versus, uh, I don't really need to, like, who, if I accomplish nothing today, I know that I'm still delighted in by the God of the universe.
And so I'm saying all that, like it's, I'm getting kind of preachy here, but um, it's not cheesy and vague. It's not cheesy like platitudes. Um, it really is life changing in my day to day. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, if I don't actually agreed root myself in Christ, in the word of God, it actually affects my marriage.
It actually affects the way that I parent my kids and the way I, yeah. Get way too stressed over that text message. I. Yeah, when I forgot I've lost sight of eternity. Like this is the shortest place we'll spend anyway. A a hundred percent bro. Yeah. That, that's really what it is. And I think that's like, I think that's that confidence like that, it's, it's the confidence in, in who Jesus is that we find ourselves being, um, just so more spiritually mature and also spiritually confident, you know?
Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then when you carry that confidence, it's like a lot of the other things, again, and again, just reverting back to what I was saying, it's like I'm not second guessing the text message anymore. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just writing what it is and that's it. Yeah. Because I'm not, and again, it's like, it doesn't matter if you're a people pleaser or not, it's sometimes those things are just hard to write, whether you, whether you don't care or you do, there's still a level of.
Uh, you know, kind of like wondering if that was the right thing to say or, you know, whatever it is. Or being a little too confident in what it was saying, and then maybe it's, you know, gonna ruffle feathers on the other end. It's like, no, but I already, I, I, I know who I am and this is what I'm, what I'm assigned to do in my life, and this is who I'm called to be.
So, you know, um, I think like those kinds of things have like, just shifted a lot in my, just a lot in my life in the way, like even just in the way I, and now it's kind of what I'm saying is that it kind of has bled into how I lead my home too. You know? It's, it's, it's, um, it's very like, Hey, like this is what we do.
This is how we operate, this is how we're going to, you know. Do this as a family. And you know, again, dude, there are days you're like, man, I suck at this. You know what I mean? Like, I am just dropping the ball. Yeah. Felt that last night, went to bed, couldn't sleep last night. 'cause I was feeling that. Yeah.
Yeah, bro. Literally, well, but we all have those nights, dude. It's like so funny. Like, there was like a viral Instagram clip and I don't even know who it is. It's like some, I think it might be like an NBA guy or like a NFL dude who, like, he, he like writes this thing down and he's like, you know, like, stop, stop expecting your kids to have a good night's sleep and you're yelling at him.
You know, stop expecting them to go to school and have a great day. When you had a, when you yelled at 'em in the morning or when you, you know, when you, you know, told 'em they, they were, you know, terrible in the morning or, you know, whatever. It's like, yeah, he's got this whole list and I, I don't, I don't even know who it is or whatever it is, but every time I.
It pops up in my feed. I'm like, man, like that is such a good word, I think for dads is, you know, 'cause I think we're also breaking the mold on like parenting. 'cause I think, like when I think about the way, like my parents parented me, it was definitely like a little more rigid, but nothing like, nothing crazy, you know?
Yeah. But I do remember some of the things being like, man, like, oh yeah, I guess I could like see how that would've made me feel this specific way. You know, even through therapy, how like, it's like I love my parents. I think my parents are amazing, but in therapy you start to realize, oh, that was like, that affected me a lot more than I thought it did.
Yeah. You know? And it's like. Now being a parent, you're like, man, it's not like I'm trying to like screw my kids up. You know what I mean? It's not like, it's like, dude, I'm not trying to do that. I'm not trying to hurt my kids. But then there's some things that are just in you that you're like, where did this even come from?
Like, where did this anger come from? Or where did this deep rooted frustration for no purpose come from? Or Right? What, what, what, how, what just came outta my mouth? Like, I feel like I, I feel like I'm like, uh, you know, like one of the three stooges, you know, it's just like random mumbles or one of the guys from home alone.
You know what I mean? Like, I've just like, like, what is this? Yeah. But ultimately it's like, you know, um, in parenting you start, you just like, see, like, it's like hearing like the way that my, my parents grew up, you know what I mean? And it's like. Dude that would never fly today. You know what I mean? Like the things that, that they had to, the way that they were parented was, I mean, what our society now would be called, I mean, it'd be child abuse essentially.
You know what I mean? It's like, it's like, go get the bat out the backyard. You're about to get beat. You know what I mean? It's just like, holy cow. And so just seeing the way that our, my parents raised me after being raised, you know, where, you know, there was a, you know, a belt, a wooden spoon and a bat that all had their name on it.
You know what I mean? Right, totally. And you're like, man, like you actually did a pretty dang good job of coming outta that. Yeah. And then raising me the way that you did. But also there were things that you're like, they didn't have under control that Now I'm like, okay, how? And I think that's where the generational, like the sins of the father.
Yeah. They start like just kind of passing through. And there are things like I've seen in my, my. Little girl and my little boy ready that I'm like, oh. Why, you know? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I hate that you're doing that because that is so me. I know there's nothing worse and I hate it. There's nothing worse. I'm like, and so now it's like, okay, how do, how do I, how do I reverse engineer this to like, let's go back, let's go back.
You know, dude, some of the most frustrating times that I've had, um, as a parent, I have four kids. My oldest is 13 down to three. Yeah. But sometimes they'll, they'll do something and I get so angry with them, and if I'm just honest with myself for like 10 seconds, I'm like, that is 100% me. Like that. Yeah.
That behavior, what they just did was 100% me. Yeah. And it's like, it's not like, and when I say me, I don't mean like humans, like we all do that. It's like, no, none of my wife, no. Yes. In all of my personality, all of my personality, all of my share's, personality, they just exhibited and I got pissed. Like I, and I'm like, man, I, I wish I hated my own sin.
Um, as much as I'm mad at theirs right now. Yeah. I think my, one of my best friends is a therapist and he is like, dude, all of therapy is basically like just trying to get you to forgive your parents. Like, that's like, you're just trying to get, it's just if you can forgive your parents, like that's, that's kind of the end goal.
And, and honestly, it really is. And I think like that's what I started learning was what the 90% of therapy is, you know, um, is. Kind of, again, rewriting who you are mm-hmm. To be aligned with who God says. Yeah. And not what your parents have created you to think. Yeah. To think about yourself. Yeah. Or the story you wrote as a result of them not giving you identity.
There you go. Come on, preach. Um, and, uh, I think in my story, uh, it's not in the identity that wasn't created. It's the identity that I was like instilled in like that. I was like, you know, like I, I'm, I'm kind of a miracle baby. My mom and dad had, you know, 13 miscarriages and a stillborn baby and Oh wow.
You know, all kinds of stuff. And, and so I'm like a only child, not by choice, but just because that's the way it played out, you know? Yeah. And, um, because of that, I feel like my parents like, did a lot of, like, you know, it was just very like. You are so perfect. You're this, you're that. You know what I mean?
And so then it, it creates this perfection chaser. It's like I have to look like I have everything. It's perfect and mm-hmm. And this is the way I speak to people has to be perfect the way I operate. It has to be perfect the way I have, you know, so it's like this thing, and it's not like my parents were like, trying to make me like this totally psycho, but you know, it's like, but at the same time you start to realize, oh, that's why.
Mm-hmm. I have this incredible fear of letting everybody down is because I've been told my whole life that I never do. You know. Wow. And that everything is so good and you're, you're, you're always man, you're just such a good kid. You get good grades and you treat everybody kindly. And you, you know, you, you didn't drink until you're 21.
You didn't, you know, you were just so followed the book. Yeah. And then you start to realize, yeah, I did to a t but now life, you can't just follow the book. You know, after high school it's like all, all the reins are off and you're like, uh, there's no barometer. Any, there's no, yeah. There's no bumpers set up on the bowling alley anymore.
It's, it's like you could fly off anywhere. Um, and you're not in a contained environment anymore. Right. It's you, there are other people that are gonna react to you that are like. What's wrong with you? You're like, right, I don't know nothing. You know what I mean? I asked my parents, they said, I'm fine. Yeah.
Yeah. They said everything was great, you know what I mean? Um, and so, uh, yeah, I think like, I think that there's, like, depending on how you're raised and, and what you're said, I think they're like, I guess this is like a whole thing on, like, therapy is one of those things where, you know, it is all based on, you know, your, your past and a, a huge portion of our past has been how we were brought up.
It's like, what is the psychology dive in from the moment that you turn three to the moment that you turn 30, you know, and all of a sudden you're like, man, like I have lived more life with my parents than I have with my wife, which is the majority of people. Um, I've lived more life with. You know, my siblings than I have with my wife.
I've lived more life with, you know, so you've got all these other voices that have spoken into your life. Yeah. And very little of you being able to lead, very little of you being So, no wonder we're all trying to kind of find ourselves, especially in what, who's listening to this podcast, you know, like you were telling me the demographic.
And it's like the demographic is all people that are just now trying to find out how to do this. And I mean, I'm 35 man, and I'm still trying to figure it out when I talk to, you know, a couple mentors of mine. It's like they're in their sixties and they're still Yeah. Figuring out, you know, how to lead, you know?
'cause in every facet, and you can attest this too, um, like every season of being a dad. Changes. You think you got a wrangle on your baby. It's like, oh dude, she just hit 13 months and man, we're in a really good like rhythm with sleep cycle and blah, blah, blah. And then 15 months hit and they hit a another growth spurt.
And you're like, everything's wrong. I don't know what's going on. And then you're good for a month and then all of a sudden there's teething. And the teething starts happening and you're like, I lit. Can't get her to stop screaming, you know? And then it, then they learn to walk and you're like, dude, I'm dead.
Like all day every day. I'm just trying to get them to not die. You know? Seriously. Yeah. But then you get into like, well now they're five and they know everything somehow. Like it's like. How, how did arguments get so complicated, you know, with somebody who has no idea what's going on. Totally. You know?
Yeah. And then eight comes and it's like they're 18 and they expect to have a car next year, you know? And you're like, what? Like there's just like all these things. And then, you know, it's so funny 'cause some of our best friends have kids and they're, uh, they're right around your ages. Like, I think their oldest is 14.
And it, they're like, dude, just wait until they're teenagers. Oh bro. It's, it's like, then all of a sudden it's like, honestly, this is the hardest thing I've ever done. And you're like, well, I feel like I'm in the hardest season right now. And I'm like, what is happening? What's weird is I'm having conversations about like.
Puberty sex pornography. And with, as I'm having that conversation, my three-year-old's like, daddy come wipe my butt. You know? I'm like, bro, I could not be on my, I'm having the weirdest, you know, I'm like trying to have a deep teenager conversation. Yes. And my toddlers are coming in 'cause they can't sleep.
They had a scary dream. It's like, it's a weird season dude, but all of it's hard. Um, and I can say that with just like full integrity. 'cause I'm like, oh yeah. Thick of it right now. It's totally, all of, it's really, really hard. I will say though, and where I'm at right now, and I'm still, I still feel like a rookie dad.
I don't, I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm not saying that as a false humility. I truly feel like I have no clue what I'm doing. Yeah, totally. But, um, I do think the teenage years as I'm getting into them are just wickedly harder, like. Yeah. You know, my body's tired when they're, when they're toddlers and stuff, when they're young.
But when they get to that age, I didn't know this. Some, I'll tell, I'll say this for all the guys who have really young ones, um, I expected in my life, I've always kind of said as a dad, like, I have 18 years to like, put in all the work, be exhausted, devote my life, pour out my life to my kids. What I didn't know is like, it really starts like that cutoff is not 18, it's more like 12.
Yeah. My boy became like something shifted at 12. Yeah. That I expected to happen at 18. And so when you're thinking through like I've got 18 years, you, you really have like 12 years. Yeah. Not to say that my parenting's done, obviously I've got, I'm, we're going through Rite of passage stuff. I'm helping 'em become a man.
We're in the thick of like parenting right now. But things take a massive shift in your influence. That's what I'm trying to say. Sorry for the long wind. Yeah. Your influence massively changes when they hit those preteen years. So just for any young dad listening, like it's shorter than you think. Yeah.
And the things that you implement, like I've, I've, I've been reading a bunch about the psychology between like the years five to nine, apparently. Mm-hmm. Are like the most implementing years into like the, like our voices are being heard, like the kids are really listening to us, you know? Mm-hmm. Um. And mentally digesting the things that we are claiming and proclaiming over them.
Hmm. And so like, I like That makes sense. The five to nine feels right in that. Like Yeah, they're smart. They've developed enough to like process it. Yes. But still baby enough to like absorb it and not absorb it. Of all these outside of influences of Exactly. And I think like, what's weird is like, you know, the development happens early, right?
Mm-hmm. And a lot of things obviously happen before five, but their most like impressionable years, you know, are those years. And so whenever you're making impact, it's like, man, like one of the things that I've really struggled with is I'm gone all the time, you know? Mm-hmm. So I can't leave my family on Sundays, you know?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So there are some Sundays my wife is like, babe, I am exhausted. I don't think I'm gonna get to church this Sunday. You know, blah, blah, blah. So for me as a man, I'm like, man, like. Sometimes I feel like me going out and serving is doing a disservice to my family. So I'm like, well, how do I wrestle with that?
You know what I mean? Yeah. Because it's like, this is my job and it's also something that I feel like God has assigned me to do. So like a lot of the prayers that I've been praying for my family and with my daughter and with my son, 'cause my daughter's eight, so I'm like, I really only have a couple more years of my actual influence in who she is.
And you know, one of the big things that I've, we've been praying for every night is I'm like, I've gotta just pray that you would instill your, your love and your, your relationship with her ev you know, every day. Grow in that with her. Every day. Make her seek you every day. Like those kinds of things.
Yeah. You know, our kids are in like a hybrid homeschool mm-hmm. Like private school thing and mm-hmm. Um, so that's also another really beautiful thing. Like, we've talked to some, some of the kids that are in the older, like they're in high school mm-hmm. And, uh, great kids, you know, just great. And that's one thing that I'm really grateful for is that, you know, they are in a school where they have longer to be like, kind of shoved out into the world.
Yeah. But also there's a weight to that because you're like, I don't want you to go out and get into the world and be like, whoa. You know, like, what is happening? Right. So that's where like, you know, we've been really talking about our strategy on like Okay. As they get older, like, you know, we travel a lot, so I mean obviously, um, but uh, because of that I feel like I.
My kids have already been able to kind of taste and seen different cultures and different places and, and, you know, they're, they're in a church that's, you know, it fits 8,000 people, you know, one day. And, you know, they're like, wow. You know, and like you meet the staff and the staff is very, you know, but then the next day we're playing at a, you know, a different church that's way smaller, you know, in a d completely different area.
That's probably a little bit more like, uh, maybe we locked the tour bus, or maybe we do the, you know what I mean? But, and they're able to be around and be like, oh, what's, you know, and ask those kinds of questions of like, how this all works, you know? Yeah. So, you know, and I know that the way that we're raising our kids is very different than a lot of the, the norm.
It's like, you know, a lot of the norm is. I mean, we talk to our neighbors about oi, it's like, you know, they're dropping their kids off at the bus, you know, drop that's, you know, this street that's right here. And yeah, they're out there at eight 15 every morning and their kids go off to school. And for us it's like, you know, that's not the case.
I mean, they go to school, a school two days a week and Yeah. You know, and then, you know, they're with us the rest of the time. And, um, so it, it's, it's different. But, you know, those, those just like, it is, it is crazy. Just like how much we have to think about, you know? I think that's another thing like that.
I'm just, even just talking to you, I'm like, dude, we have to think about so many things. You know? It's like, it's like we're not only just trying to keep the wheels on the car, but it's like we're just trying to keep everybody from dying in the car, you know? And, and also like. To, to also just be good humans at the end of the day, you know?
So there's so much to like process as a dad and, and being a dad in the season is, is such a gift. Yeah. But it's, it's, but it's hard. It's hard. Uh, one thing on the homeschooling piece, I, I was speaking at homeschooling, we homeschool as well, and I a homeschooling conference recently. I heard that, um, since COVID, um, homeschooling has doubled in the United States, the amount of families that have.
Um, started homeschools, doubled and in Texas. Yeah, it's tripled, which is, that's where I was speaking. It was in Texas. But, um, yeah, and it could be in more states, but I just happened to, they were giving me Texas facts. 'cause Texas thinks they're their own country, so they only track their own facts. They basically are, I mean, they're, they're, they're a couple steps away.
Yeah, totally. Um, yeah, I think, dude, yesterday I was, um, we were sitting on the couch watching, there's so many like, breaking news stories happening at the, on the week that we're recording right now. Oh my gosh. Yeah. But I was sitting on the couch watching some new stuff with my wife and I'm like, I'm gonna go take a nap.
And she just looks at me. I saw this like real recently of a wife just like pissed every time her husband rests. And that's the ongoing joke in our family. I'm like, dude, nothing makes me more mad babe than to see me rest. And she just like, she's like, it's not that. I'm like, it is it. You hate when I rest.
Like, just, you just can't stand when I nap anyway. So I'm like, I'm gonna go take a nap. My joke is like, I just need 12 minutes. I don't need like a two hour nap. Just gimme 12 minutes to like quickly reset. Yeah. But part of it, I'm getting to a point here. My point is I think that maybe women underestimate, I'm speaking generally, uh, way too broadly.
Not all women feel this, obviously, but there is kind of like this cultural thing of like, guy guys are kind of aloof and we don't, you know, we're not really engaged. But I think for most dudes who are trying, like, and that, that's pretty much every guy listening to this show. Like, he wouldn't, he wouldn't have gotten this deep into a podcast about this if he wasn't really trying to be a good husband, father, disciple.
Yeah, totally. And for those dudes, the amount of things that are spinning in our brain, dude, it's a, and we're quiet, we're not, most guys aren't like external processors. We don't have a lot of friends to talk to this stuff about. It's kind of a lonely journey. We're not expressive with our emotions, talking to our wife about our fears.
We don't really know how to express our fears. And so we're just internalizing like, okay, am I a crappy dude? I've got a bunch of sin I gotta figure out, am I messed up? I should probably be in therapy more 'cause I want, I got all these, yeah. None of us are saying that out loud, but we're feeling all these things.
Oh, and by the way, I gotta make enough money to make sure our mortgage is paid and our kids, can they go to school and is there supplies? And dude, we're just juggling. So, oh crap. I gotta be good husband too. And my boss is pissed at me. Like there's just so much and all that's just like, yeah dude, can I just have a 12 minute nap real quick?
Yeah. Can I just take a 12 minute nap? It's exhausting. Yes. But that, that was a really long way of saying like, I agree with you. It's a, for guys that are actually trying, which I think is, encompasses the name dad tired. It's not just that kids are not sleeping well, it's that for a guy that's actually trying, it's really hard.
Yes. It's very tough. It's hard, dude. Yeah, it, I mean, dude, like I'm sure you guys have done this too, but have you ever vacationed with your kids? It's not, have you seen those memes? It's like, it's, it's not vacation. I just paid a lot of money to parent my kids in a different place. That was harder. Yeah. Yes, yes.
I have. I, yeah. And it's like we, uh, Jamie and I just got back from a weekend. We really only had like two days, but it was like two solid days. Just me and her with some friends, no kids. Mm. And uh, but the whole summer, like we went to Hawaii this year and did like the Disney resort thing and then we, we went on a houseboat with our best friends and we did that for eight days and it was awesome.
Yeah. But dude, I told Jamie, we, when we were on the houseboat, I was like, you know, you're in the sun all day, you're on the water all day. You're, you know, wake surfing, wakeboarding, tubing, the whole gamut all day. Yeah. And you know, it's so funny 'cause we do this annual trip with our friends. It's turning into like a multi annual thing because we just.
Love each other very much. That's, and we're, that's great. We're, and we're one of my oldest best friends in the entire world. And, um, and, uh, his wife and my wife are best friends. It's just, it's an awesome setup, but, uh, that's rare and cool. Yeah, it, it is. Um, but dude, like there's one night, 'cause usually, you know, we're staying up, you know, like doing, you know, just playing games or like, you know, having some drinks or whatever.
Just like trying to loosen up like, yeah. And dude, that whole trip, I just, like, guys, I'm about to pass out. I'm so tired, I'm about to jump off of this. I'm literally gonna drown myself. Like, I'm just like so tired. And, uh, it was just such a funny thing 'cause it's like, we'd never really done that before, but it was one of those things where like, we honestly love it because it does like that dad tired feeling is, is.
When you are like, fully submerged into like, I mean, my little girl, I taught her how to wakeboard and my, my best friend, he's a pro wakeboarder, so he did a lot of the work, but I got in the water, you know, and there's emotions are all over, you know, there's like sobbing and laughing and, and and, you know, screaming and sobbing again.
And you're like, I know, but like, that's a daycare thing. You're Yeah. Yeah. But you're so stoked because you know, they're doing something and they're progressing in something that you, I grew up doing and that was a huge part of my life. And, um, you get to see them succeed in something that they did not know.
You get to teach them a new skill and, and like that's something, so that's so like rewarding as a father. Um, but again, dude, it's like you go out and I feel like that whole trip encompassed that dad tired feeling of like, I really sent it as a dad this whole week. You know? Mm-hmm. Like, we really did it.
Um, and I think. My the, and again, not to get too preachy 'cause it's, it's easy for us to get tired when we're, when we're going. But, uh, it's so funny 'cause my, my best friend texted me after the trip and he is like, man, this trip really showed me the kind of dad I want to be all the time. Mm. And I was like, man, yeah, me too.
You know, like I wanna be able to like, push my kids into doing, like, doing things and it's like, I feel like I grew up on the couch watching TV a lot, you know? Mm-hmm. And I'm like, but I also, as I grew up and I got into my teenage years, I like turned to extreme sports all the time. So it's like I was snow skiing all the time doing.
You know, crazy stuff. Mm-hmm. Trying to be a pro athlete. Um, skateboarding, wakeboarding, all the things. Mm. Um, and being outside all the time. And so I think like watching those like hard vacation trips, but also being very active and like, it's like we're in Hawaii, we're gonna the beach, we're paddle boarding, we're doing this, we're doing that, we're doing that.
And it's exhausting 'cause you're doing stuff constantly. There's no like, I'm gonna lay on the beach and read a book. Right. Totally. Or I'm gonna lay on the beach and just think about nothing, you know? Yeah. It's like, that's not happening. Not happening. But, but you do achieve something which is like, surpasses all that.
And I think the dad tired thing is like a real thing that we all have to go through. But when you are achieving that, and I that just a long way of, of affirming what you're saying is. When you're achieving that dad's hard feeling, you can go to bed and rest real easy that night. Yeah. Because you're like, man, I did all the things I could and whether it means you got, you know, two hours with your kids or whether it means you got 12.
Right. Um, 'cause I know there's probably a lot of dads that get two hours with their kids, maybe an hour, you know? Yeah. Yeah. But man, like that's, that's one of those things, one of my buddies who's a, a Instagram influencer, he does a lot of real estate stuff too, but, you know, he comes at it from a, a lot harsher perspective, but he is like, if your kids are going to bed and they haven't had their dad fully available to them for the two hours that they get before you go to bed, he's like, you're not being a good dad.
Hmm. And uh, and that's a sucky thing to hear. That's like, and, and it's funny because like he'll openly tell you there are days he doesn't do it well, but. It is kind of a good like little heart check for you because there are a lot of times where I'm like, man, I haven't seen my kids for three days and within two hours I'm exhausted of being home.
I'm like, man, I'm tired. And like, I love you, but man, like, I don't know if I want to go up and play Ninja Warriors upstairs. You know what I mean? Yeah. Um, but I think that that's where, you know, that's where parenting, like for some parents right now, like when you push through that though, there's some other thing at the end of it where you're like, man, I'm, I feel good that I did that today though.
Yeah. You know, like I didn't want to go upstairs and. You know, play pirates, but I did for an hour. Right. And my son and I are like on a completely different connection level now. You know what I mean? Yeah. Um, so there's worth in it. Even though you're tired. I wanna tell all the dads, like, even though you get tired, and even though there's those moments where like, bro, I just worked a fricking 12 hour day.
I have zero bandwidth. I have zero. This man. Like, whatever you can do to get yourself into a head space where it's like, Hey, my kids have no idea that I've been gone. They have no idea. The things that I've been up against today. They have no idea. The emails that I've had to send, they have no idea. The people I had to fire, they had no idea the the wins I had.
They had no, they have no idea about any of that. Is all they know is that. Dad's home, and that's awesome for me. You know what I mean? And just remind yourself that, 'cause that's one thing that I've really had to work on, is remind myself that my kids have no idea that, you know, dad has, you know, five hours of media and then I gotta do this and I gotta do that.
And after I'm a little bit emotionally spent. Mm-hmm. But they have no idea. They, they don't, they don't really care about it either. They're like, dad, I don't care. Like I just missed you. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so for me, it's been one of those things where I'm like, remember that even if you're running on 10%, that last 10%, like it's a rich 10%, like it's rich at the bottom.
And so you can still. You can dish that 10% out and it can be really rich for your kids. Mm-hmm. You just have to allocate each percentage in a really good way. Um, and sometimes it, and sometimes it doesn't have to be go, going out and being like, okay, we're gonna go to the splash pad and we're gonna do, you know, we're gonna load up and Right.
It's like, sometimes it's literally just like sitting at the table and watching them play with Play-Doh and asking them about their day and asking them about what their favorite moment was or what did you, did you color today? Let me show, let me see a picture. Like, just involve yourself in what, who they are and what they've done today.
You know, we've been doing, we've been doing, uh, walks, like daddy walks and it's, it's been a game changer. Yeah. Walks are clutch. Dude. Super easy. Free doesn't take very long. So easy. It's like a 30 I, we do a 30. I'm looking back at this property behind us that like this whole development, we just walk that.
Yep. Takes, like the whole thing start to finish is like 20 to 30 minutes maybe. Yes. And I don't even like, think of a lot of intentional questions. I'm just like literally with them and the amount of conversations that we have is just, it's a game changer. Super easy. It really is free and it's, and it's, and it's beautiful because it's not like you're, again, you're not going upstairs and building a whole Lego set right now.
Right. You know what I mean? Because oftentimes, and I think that's really what I'm trying to say, is like you figure out what your 10% is that you can give. Mm-hmm. Maybe it's a walk, maybe it's just sitting around the island and making Sundays. Mm-hmm. Or you know, or maybe it's, Hey, we're gonna do, you know, one of the big things for us every night is we, we do like, uh, a show or something.
Mm-hmm. But. We do like snuggle time, which is really not really snuggle time anymore. It's more like talk time. Mm. But like, we'll watch like 20 minutes of a show. Mm-hmm. Um, usually my kids love the old Scooby dos, so we usually watch like an old Scooby do. That's cool. And then we just talk and we're just like, what, what, what do you guys want to do tomorrow?
What do you, what do you guys, what, what was your favorite part of today? Like what, what was your favorite thing? Well, I really loved whenever, like I got to color that frog today. Like I got to color the little wood frog. I love painting it. I was like, that's awesome. Like, like we should go do that again sometime or what, what if we try to find another animal next time?
Or let's do this. Or just, and again, it's like, it doesn't have to be some massively crazy output, um, thing, but just knowing that you have that last little bit to, you know, and dude, another big thing is prayers. Like, dude, like. Prayers with your kids, man. Like that's, that's changed a lot. You know? It's changed a lot.
Do you have like a prayer rhythm? Like what do you, do you pray every night? Like, what does prayer look like with your kids? A lot of guys feel like pray, intimidated doing this. Dude, I, I pray with my kids every single night whether I'm home or not. Hmm. So, um, my wife knows I send a prayer for both my kids on voice memo that's every night.
Wow. Um, I want them to know that their dad is always praying for them and is also claiming who they are in Jesus. Yeah. Because their identity is not in, you know, and obviously I have to instill, please get your chores done. Totally. Please go out and do this. Yeah, yeah. Please clean, clean up after yourself.
Like, no, you're not gonna do that until you clean up after yourself. Totally. Yeah. Of course. They're the natural parenting things. Um. But my kids aren't gonna be perfect, and that's okay. But they are children of God. Mm-hmm. And that's really all that really matters. That's all That's the only thing that they need to know is confidence going into their future.
Yeah. Yeah. Um, they'll figure out if they're gonna be an engineer or if they're gonna be a, you know, a baker, or if they're gonna be a mechanic, or if they're gonna be a doctor. Like, they'll figure that out. But ultimately the ultimate thing that they have to know growing up every day is who they are in, in the Lord and who they are to me and who they are to their mom.
Mm-hmm. And, um, praying with your kids is one of the most. Beautiful things and then you start to see your kids take it over. Mm. So like they start, like, I mean, we pray hedger protection over our home every night. Mm. We pray angels over every window door in our, uh, of our house. Mm. Um, we pray, you know, the same hedger protection over all of our families.
Mm. You know, and, and it's so funny 'cause my son loves saying that part is why I bring that up. My son is like my, the moment I start like he knows like almost I, every night right around the time when I'm about to say it, he'll just interrupt me and go. And Jesus, we also pray protection over our home and angels over window door in our lock and over Grammy and Papa's house and nana and Grandpa's house.
And like that is like the most fulfilling thing for you to watch your kids take over something that you feel like, you know, that is going to. Lead them into a path that's going to direct them in the right path every day. And, um, how, how old is your son? He's five. Dude. I wonder, uh, the one thing that came to mind as you said that, I wonder like how much of that is just like the, the instinctual protection piece, like as a boy?
Yeah. Yeah. He's just like, he's like, dude, I like that. Totally. The prayer, you know, it's just like, dude, let protect some people, bro. He knows. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. I love that part of like, boys dude, it's just like, there's some in Yes. Instinctive. I, I take their, um, all the neighborhood boys in our, in our little neighborhood, they're super close.
They fish all day and they hang out all day. Yeah. I'll take them out fishing and stuff and just to see their like. Intrinsic boy stuff. Yes. I'm like, all for him, bro. I'm like, bro, jump off. Jump off the boat. Like just do something dangerous. Yes. And just let him kind of be free. You know? None. No moms around.
I'm just like, dude, bro, pee off the side of the boat. Then just back flip in and catch a shark. And it's just like, do some dangerous stuff, dude. Um, yes. But I wonder how you, for, for your son, it's like, you know, there's just something in his soul that resonates with that like, protection piece. Like Yeah, let's get to the protection part.
You know, a a hundred part, a hundred percent. Like, I, I fully think like that's, and I've told him, I'm like, you know, 'cause it's so funny 'cause my little girl, you know, she'll be like, chew to angels are so beautiful and blah, blah, blah. And I've actually pulled my son aside and I'm like, baby, I've told your sister this so many times.
But I want you to know angels are not pretty. They're just fierce. Yeah. Yeah. They're not pretty buddy. Yeah. Terrifying. Like, when we're praying angels over our house. Yeah. Like, I'm like, remember when it, because Judah is just like me in a lot of ways. He's very sensitive to images and stuff. Mm. So like, I like dude, and I've been this way my whole life.
Like, I hate scary movies. Mm-hmm. Not a scary movie person. Yeah. I'm the same. Um, I'm not the guy that like wants to see like. Images of stuff that's like nasty. I, I'm just not that guy. Like, I'm like, I just, yeah. Yeah. Like I don't wanna put stuff up here that's gonna freaking mess, like Right. Because it'll affect my sleep.
It'll affect all, you know, I don't wanna do it. Well, there was one day that, um, we were on Apple TV and it was right whenever, uh, that movie, the Joker come, came out. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And around the same time as when like there was a kids movie that we wanted to buy was out, and you know how like Apple TV remotes use, like you'll swipe over.
Mm-hmm. And sometimes it'll like click one extra after. Right. Like, I had, I had just clicked 'cause I thought it was on the thing, but it hit the Joker movie and it just scared him so bad. Like he was just not okay. And he had a really bad nightmare that night. Mm-hmm. And that was the first time I told you I was like.
Angels are not what you think they are. And he is like, what do you mean? I'm like, I'm like, angels are terrifying warriors. Yeah. And I was like, we're talking like warriors that like, you remember the joker that you were scared of? Like, do you remember how we talked about how there's like, there's demons in this world and like they're ugly, they're nasty.
I was like, demons look at angels and they go, what? I gotta get the heck outta here. Yeah. Because they're the most bad warriors they've got just, they're like. Terrifyingly scary because they've been, they're battling, they're battling for us all the time. Like that's what they're doing. Like when we say angels, and it's so funny because every time, you know, we, we have these, if he has a scary dream or whatever, I've told him, I'm like, you just pray angels, pray angels right now.
Just pray. Hey Lord, like, rush over me. I pray. Angels over me. I pray peace of the Lord over me. I was like, 'cause you know what you're doing. You're just calling these bad, bad dudes all over you. They're like, whoa, this is my guy. You know what I mean? And he loves that dude. So it makes a lot of sense. Boy, there's this, there's this like, um, there's this account, I, they like take scripture, like some of these passages in scripture where they're describing these like angelic beings and they Yes.
And they make 'em into ai, like have ai. Yes. Bro, it's really fascinating. It's like, bro, it is. It just describes what you're talking about. It's like these are not like, you know, little babies with harps up in the clouds. These are like, yeah. If you just, it's like put visually what they're, the scriptures are describing.
It's terrifying. Yes. Oh, terrifying. It's like there's one like, uh, I've seen the one where it's like an angel with 16 eyes and this and this and that, and you type it into AI and you're like, whoa. If I saw that, I would be like, dude, get, ah, you can see why a lot of the people in the scriptures like fell to the face or, you know, terrified.
They're, it's terrifying. Yeah, it's terrifying. Oh yeah. A hundred percent. Dude, it's crazy bro. I've enjoyed getting to know you, man. This has been really fun conversation. Me too, bro. Yeah, it's been awesome. I, we need to have like a once a week coffee, just hash all this stuff out 'cause this is fun, bro. I love this.
This was fun to talk about and I need to get you a dad tired hat. Because you, I'm in the way you described at Tired. Like just in your own, your own words. I was like, bro, that was really well said. Which makes sense because you're, you're a musician, you know how to like, say things. Well anyway, man, thank you.
This, this has been so fun getting to know you, bro. And uh, I hope we can stay in touch and you're doing good job, bro. As a dad, man, you're doing a really good job. I, I'm grateful to know you. Thank you, dude. Thank you. Grateful to know you too. Thanks for having me on. And, uh, yeah, we'll, we'll, we'll talk soon.
Sounds good, bro.