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"indeed, I have sometimes fancied since that the flower-garden, to which the only access from the castle was through his rooms, was designed in order to give me exercise and employment under his own eye."
What is it that makes his fall in love? Is it a pretty face? A fancy title? An obligation? In this Elizabeth Gaskell tale, narrator Rae Wilson invites us to explore that very question.
Music and Sound Effects by:
No Way Out - by David Robson
Mozart – Eine Kleine Nachtmusik – Serenade In G Major
The Mooche by Duke Ellington
"Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★In the oral tradition of storytelling, Echoes in the Dark, delivers classic works of gothic fiction weekly. Hosted and curated by Ms. Rae (an award-winning educator, actor, and literary analyst) the collection of stories spans popular works by authors like Edgar Allan Poe as well as lesser known works by authors such as Guy de Maupassant. Each story is followed by a literary analysis.
If you’re looking to enjoy more classic literature, struggle to find the time to read, hate reading, or just love listening to stories, then this podcast is for you.
A Note on Content: While these stories are generally appropriate for listeners aged 12 and up, classic Gothic literature frequently explores themes of murder, romantic affairs, and "tortured souls." Stories are performed exactly as written in their original historical context.
If you are looking to learn more ways to boost your literary analysis visit:
Speaker 1: Welcome to Echoes in the
Dark, a podcast dedicated to the
oral
Speaker 1: tradition of
storytelling.
Speaker 1: If you're looking to
enjoy more classic literature,
struggle
Speaker 1: to find the time to read,
hate reading, or just love listening
Speaker 1: to stories, then this
podcast is for you.
Speaker 1: At the end of each story,
I'll share my analysis on the
story's
Speaker 1: deeper meanings.
Speaker 1: The Grey Woman by Mrs.
Speaker 1: Gaskell, Elizabeth
Gaskell, is a short story that was
originally
Speaker 1: published in 1861 in
volume 4 of Charles Dickens All the
Year
Speaker 1: Round.
Speaker 1: Gaskell wrote some 35
short stories in addition to her
other
Speaker 1: written works.
Speaker 1: Many of her short stories
were published by Dicklins.
Speaker 1: This entire story is told
in first person limited.
Speaker 1: If you want to follow
along, you can get a coffee on my
website,
Speaker 1: betteressaywriting.com.
Speaker 1: The Grey Woman by Mrs.
Speaker 1: Gask.
Speaker 1: There is a mill by the
Necker side, to which many people
resort
Speaker 1: for coffee, according to
the fashion which is almost national
Speaker 1: in Germany.
Speaker 1: There was nothing
particularly attractive in the
situation of
Speaker 1: this mill.
Speaker 1: It is on the Mannheim,
the flat and unromantic side of
Heidelberg.
Speaker 1: The river turns the mill
wheel with a plenteous gushing
sound.
Speaker 1: The outbuildings and the
dwelling house of the miller form a
Speaker 1: well kept dusty
quadrangle.
Speaker 1: Again, further from the
river there is a garden full of
willows
Speaker 1: and arborers and flower
beds, not well kept, but very
profuse
Speaker 1: in flowers and luxuriant
creepers nodding and looping the
arbors
Speaker 1: together.
Speaker 1: In each of these arbors
is a stationary table of white
painted
Speaker 1: wood and light movable
chairs of the same color and
material.
Speaker 1: I went to drink coffee
there with some friends in eighteen
forty
Speaker 1: six.
Speaker 1: The stately old miller
came out to greet us, as some of the
Speaker 1: party were known to him
of old.
Speaker 1: He was of a grand build
of a man, and his loud, musical
voice,
Speaker 1: with its tone friendly
and familiar, was a rolling laugh of
Speaker 1:welcome.
Speaker 1: Went well with the keen
bright eye, the fine cloth of his
coat,
Speaker 1: and the general look of
substance about the place.
Speaker 1: Poultry of all kinds
abounded in the mill yard, where
there
Speaker 1: were ample means of
livelihood for them strewed on the
ground.
Speaker 1: But not content with
this, the miller took out handfuls
of corn
Speaker 1: from the sacks and threw
liberally to the cocks and hens that
Speaker 1: ran almost under his feet
in their eagerness.
Speaker 1: And all the time he was
doing this, as it were habitually,
he
Speaker 1: was talking to us, and
ever and anon calling to his
daughters
Speaker 1: and the servant maids to
bid them hasten the coffee we had
ordered.
Speaker 1: He followed us to an
arbor and saw us served to his
satisfaction
Speaker 1: with the best of
everything we could ask for.
Speaker 1: And then left us to go
round to the different arborers and
see
Speaker 1: that each party was
properly attended to.
Speaker 1: And as he went, this
great, prosperous, happy looking man
whistled
Speaker 1: softly, one of the most
plaintive airs I ever heard.
Speaker 1: His family have held this
mill ever since the old Palatinate
Speaker 1: days, or rather, I should
say, have possessed the ground ever
Speaker 1: since then, for two
successive mills of theirs have been
burnt
Speaker 1: down by the French.
Speaker 1: If you want to see Shea
in a passion, just talk to him of
the
Speaker 1: possibility of a French
invasion.
Speaker 1: But at this moment, still
whistling that mournful air, we saw
Speaker 1: the miller going down the
steps that led from the somewhat
raised
Speaker 1: garden into the mill
yard.
Speaker 1: And so I seemed to have
lost my chance of putting him in a
passion.
Speaker 1: We had nearly finished
our coffee and cutchen, and our
cinnamon
Speaker 1: cake when heavy splashes
fell on our thick leafy covering.
Speaker 1: Quicker and quicker they
came, coming through the tender
leaves
Speaker 1: as if they were tearing
them asunder.
Speaker 1: All the people in the
garden were hurrying under shelter,
or
Speaker 1: seeking for their
carriages standing outside.
Speaker 1: Up the steps the miller
came hastening with a crimson
umbrella
Speaker 1: fit to cover everyone
left in the garden, and followed by
his
Speaker 1: daughter and one or two
maidens, each bearing an umbrella.
Speaker 1: Come into the house.
Speaker 1: Come in, I say.
Speaker 1: It is a summer storm and
will flood the place for an hour or
Speaker 1: two till the river
carries it away.
Speaker 1: Here, here And we
followed him back into his own
house.
Speaker 1: We went into the kitchen
first.
Speaker 1: Oh such an array of
bright copper and tin vessels I
never saw.
Speaker 1: And all the wooden things
were as thoroughly scoured.
Speaker 1: The red tile floor was
spotless when we went in, but in two
Speaker 1: minutes it was all over
slop and dirt with the tread of many
Speaker 1: feet, for the kitchen was
filled, and still the worthy miller
Speaker 1: kept bringing in more
people under his great crimson
umbrella.
Speaker 1: He even called the dogs
in and made them lie down under the
Speaker 1:tables.
Speaker 1: His daughter said
something to him in German, and he
shook his
Speaker 1: head merrily at her.
Speaker 1: Everybody laughed.
Speaker 1: What did he say?
Speaker 1: I asked.
Speaker 1: She told him to bring the
ducks in next, but indeed, if more
Speaker 1: people come, we shall be
suffocated.
Speaker 1: What with the thundery
weather and the stove and all these
steaming
Speaker 1: clothes?
Speaker 1: I really think we must
ask leave to pass on.
Speaker 1: Perhaps we might go in
and see Frau Schira.
Speaker 1: My friend asked the
daughter of the house for permission
to
Speaker 1: go into an empty chamber
and see her mother.
Speaker 1: It was granted, and we
went into a sort of saloon
overlooking
Speaker 1: the Neckar.
Speaker 1: Very small, very bright,
and very close.
Speaker 1: The floor was slippery
with polish, long narrow pieces of
looking
Speaker 1: glass against the walls
reflected the perpetual motion of
the
Speaker 1: river opposite.
Speaker 1: A white porcelain stove,
with some old fashioned ornaments of
Speaker 1: brass about it, a sofa,
covered with utrech velvet, a table
Speaker 1: before it, and a piece of
worceted worked carpet under it, a
Speaker 1: vase of artificial
flowers, and lastly an alcove with a
bed
Speaker 1: in it, on which lay the
paralyzed wife of the good miller,
knitting
Speaker 1: busily formed the
furniture.
Speaker 1: I spoke as if this was
all that was to be seen in the room,
Speaker 1: but sitting quietly while
my friend kept up a brisk
conversation
Speaker 1: in a language which I but
half understood.
Speaker 1: My eye was caught by a
picture at a dark corner of the
room.
Speaker 1: And I got up to examine
it more nearly.
Speaker 1: It was that of a young
girl of extreme beauty, evidently of
Speaker 1: middle rank.
Speaker 1: There was a sensitive
refinement in her face, as if she
almost
Speaker 1: shrank from the gaze
which, of necessity, the painter
must have
Speaker 1: fixed upon her.
Speaker 1: It was not over well
painted, but I felt that it must
have been
Speaker 1: a good likeness from this
strong impress of peculiar
character,
Speaker 1: which I have tried to
describe.
Speaker 1: From the dress I should
guess it had to have been patent in
Speaker 1: the later half of the
last century.
Speaker 1: And I afterwards heard
that I was right.
Speaker 1: There was a little pause
in the conversation.
Speaker 1: Will you ask Frau
Scherder who this is?
Speaker 1: My friend repeated my
question and received a long reply
in
Speaker 1:German.
Speaker 1: Then she turned around
and translated it to me.
Speaker 1: It is the likeness of a
great aunt of her husband's.
Speaker 1: My friend was standing by
me and looking at the picture with
Speaker 1: sympathetic curiosity.
Speaker 1: See?
Speaker 1: Here is the name on the
open page of this Bible Anna Scherer
Speaker 1: 1778.
Speaker 1: Frau Scherer says there
is a tradition in the family that
this
Speaker 1: pretty girl, with her
complexion of lilies and roses, lost
her
Speaker 1: colour so entirely
through fright that she was known by
the
Speaker 1: name of the Grey Woman.
Speaker 1: She speaks as if this
Anna Schera lived in some state of
lifelong
Speaker 1: terror.
Speaker 1: But she does not know
details, refers me to her husband
for
Speaker 1:them.
Speaker 1: She thinks he has some
papers which were written by the
original
Speaker 1: of that picture for her
daughter, who died in this very
house
Speaker 1: not long after our friend
there was Mary.
Speaker 1: We can ask Air Scherer
for the whole story if you like.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, pray do, said I.
Speaker 1: And as our host came in
at that moment to ask how we were
faring,
Speaker 1: and to tell us that he
had sent to Heidelberg for carriages
Speaker 1: to convey us home, seeing
no chance of the heavy rain abating,
Speaker 1: my friend, after thanking
him, passed on to my request.
Speaker 1: Ah, said he, his face
changing.
Speaker 1: The Aunt Anna had a sad
history.
Speaker 1: It was all owing to one
of those hellish Frenchmen and her
daughter
Speaker 1: suffered for it.
Speaker 1: The cousin Ursula, as we
all called her when I was a child.
Speaker 1: To be sure, the good
cousin Ursula was his child as well.
Speaker 1: The sins of the fathers
are visited on their children.
Speaker 1: The lady would like to
know all about it, would she?
Speaker 1: Well, there are papers, a
kind of apology the Aunt Anna wrote
Speaker 1: for putting an end to her
daughter's engagement, or rather
facts
Speaker 1: which she revealed that
prevented cousin Ursula from
marrying
Speaker 1: the man she loved.
Speaker 1: And so she would never
have any other good fellow.
Speaker 1: Else I have heard say my
father would have been thankful to
Speaker 1: have made her his wife.
Speaker 1: All this time he was
rummaging in the drawer of an old
fashioned
Speaker 1: bureau, and now he turned
around with a bundle of yellow MSS
Speaker 1: in his hand, which he
gave to my friend, saying, Take it
home,
Speaker 1: take it home, and if you
care to make out our crap German
writing,
Speaker 1: you may keep it as long
as you like and read it at your
leisure.
Speaker 1: Only I must have it back
again when you have done with it,
that's
Speaker 1: all.
Speaker 1: And so we became
possessed of the manuscript of the
following
Speaker 1: letter, which it was our
employment, during many a long
evening
Speaker 1: that ensuing winter, to
translate and in some parts to
abbreviate.
Speaker 1: The letter began with
some reference to the pain which she
had
Speaker 1: already inflicted upon
her daughter by some unexplained
opposition
Speaker 1: to a project of marriage.
Speaker 1: But I doubt F, without
the clue with which the good miller
had
Speaker 1: furnished us, we could
have made out even this much from
the
Speaker 1: passionate broken
sentences that made us fancy that
some scene
Speaker 1: between the mother and
daughter, and possibly a third
person,
Speaker 1: had occurred just before
the mother had begun to write.
Speaker 1: Thou dost not love thy
child, mother?
Speaker 1: Thou dost not care if her
heart is broken.
Speaker 1: Oh God!
Speaker 1: And these words of my
heart beloved Ursula ring in my ears
as
Speaker 1: if the sound of them
would fill them when I lie a dying,
and
Speaker 1: her poor, tear stained
face comes between me and everything
Speaker 1:else.
Speaker 1: Child, hearts do not
break.
Speaker 1: Life is very tough as
well as very terrible.
Speaker 1: But I will not decide for
thee.
Speaker 1: I will tell thee all, and
thou shalt bear the burden of
choice.
Speaker 1: I may be wrong.
Speaker 1: I have little wit left,
and never had much, I think.
Speaker 1: But an instinct serves me
in place of judgment, and that
instinct
Speaker 1: tells me that thou and
thy Henri must never be married.
Speaker 1: Yet I may be in error.
Speaker 1: I would fain make my
child happy.
Speaker 1: Lay this paper before the
good priest Shriesheim, if after
reading
Speaker 1: it thou hast doubts which
make thee uncertain.
Speaker 1: Only I will tell thee all
now, on condition that no spoken
word
Speaker 1: ever passes between us on
the subject.
Speaker 1: It would kill me to be
questioned.
Speaker 1: I should have to see all
present again.
Speaker 1: My father held, as thou
knowest, the mill on Neckar, where
thy
Speaker 1: newfound uncle Shira, now
lives.
Speaker 1: Thou rememberest the
surprise with which we were received
there
Speaker 1: last vintage twelve
month?
Speaker 1: How thy uncle disbelieved
me when I said that I was his sister
Speaker 1: Anna, whom he had long
believed to be dead, and how I had
to
Speaker 1: leave thee underneath the
picture painted of me long ago and
Speaker 1: point out feature by
feature the likeness between it and
thee.
Speaker 1: And how, as I spoke, I
recalled first to my own mind and
then
Speaker 1: by speech to his, the
details of the time when it was
painted.
Speaker 1: The merry words had
passed between us then, a happy boy
and
Speaker 1:girl.
Speaker 1: The position of the
articles of furniture in the room,
our father's
Speaker 1: habits, the cherry tree
now cut down, the shaded the window
Speaker 1: of my bedroom, though
which my brother was wont to squeeze
himself
Speaker 1: in order to spring on the
topmost bow that would bear his
weight,
Speaker 1: and thence would pass me
back his cap laddened with fruit to
Speaker 1: where I sat on the
windowsill, too sick with fright for
him
Speaker 1: to care much for eating
the cherries.
Speaker 1: And at length Fritz gave
way and believed me to be his sister
Speaker 1: Anna, even as though I
were risen from the dead.
Speaker 1: And thou rememberest how
he fetched in his wife and told her
Speaker 1: that I was not dead, but
who has come back to the old home
once
Speaker 1: more changed as I was.
Speaker 1: And she would scarce
believe him and scanned me with a
cold,
Speaker 1: distrustful eye, till at
length, for I knew her of old as
Babette
Speaker 1: Mueller, I said that I
was well to do, and needed not to
seek
Speaker 1: out friends for what they
had to give.
Speaker 1: And then she asked, not
me but her husband, why I had kept
silence
Speaker 1: so long, leading all,
father, brother, everyone that loved
me
Speaker 1: in my own dear home, to
esteem me dead.
Speaker 1: And then thine uncle,
thou rememberest, said he cared not
to
Speaker 1: know more than I cared to
tell, that I was his honour found
Speaker 1: again to be a blessing to
him in his old age as I had been in
Speaker 1: his boyhood.
Speaker 1: I thanked him in my heart
for his trust, for were the need for
Speaker 1: telling all less than it
seems to me now, I could not speak
Speaker 1: of my past life.
Speaker 1: But she, who was my
sister in law still, held back her
welcome,
Speaker 1: and for want of that, I
did not go to live in Heidelberg as
Speaker 1: I had planned before, in
order to be near my brother Fritz,
Speaker 1: but contented myself with
his promise to be a father to my
Ursula
Speaker 1: when I should die and
leave this weary world.
Speaker 1: That Babette's Mueller
was, as I may say, the cause of all
my
Speaker 1: life's suffering.
Speaker 1: She was a baker's
daughter in Heidelberg, a great
beauty, as
Speaker 1: people said, and indeed
as I could see for myself.
Speaker 1: I too, thou sawest my
picture, was reckoned a beauty, and
I
Speaker 1: believe I was so.
Speaker 1: Babette's Mueller looked
upon me as a rival.
Speaker 1: She liked to be admired
and had no one much to love her.
Speaker 1: I had several people to
love me.
Speaker 1: Thy grandfather, Fritz,
the old servant Kotchin, Karl, and
the
Speaker 1: head apprentice at the
mill, and I feared admiration and
notice,
Speaker 1: and the being stared at
as they shone Millerin whenever I
went
Speaker 1: to make my purchases in
Heidelberg.
Speaker 1: Those were happy,
peaceful days.
Speaker 1: I had Kotin to help me in
the housework, and whatever we did
Speaker 1: pleased my brave old
father, who was always gentle and
indulgent
Speaker 1: towards us women, though
he was stern enough with the
apprentices
Speaker 1: in the mill.
Speaker 1: Carl, the oldest of
these, was his favourite, and I can
see
Speaker 1: now that my father wished
him to marry me, and that Carl
himself
Speaker 1: was desirous to do so.
Speaker 1: But Karl was rough spoken
and passionate, not with me but with
Speaker 1: others, and I shrank from
him in a way which I fear gave him
Speaker 1: pain.
Speaker 1: And then came thy uncle
Fritz's marriage, and Babette was
brought
Speaker 1: to the mill to be its
mistress.
Speaker 1: Not that I cared much for
giving up my post, for, in spite of
Speaker 1: my father's great
kindness, I always feared that I did
not manage
Speaker 1: well for a large family.
Speaker 1: With the men and the girl
under Kachin, we sat down eleven
each
Speaker 1: night to supper.
Speaker 1: But when Babette began to
find fault with Kachin, I was
unhappy
Speaker 1: at the blame that fell on
faithful servants, and by and by I
Speaker 1: began to see that Babette
was egging on Carl to make more open
Speaker 1: love to me, and as she
once said, to get done with it, and
take
Speaker 1: me off to a home of my
own.
Speaker 1: My father was growing old
and did not perceive all my daily
Speaker 1:discomfort.
Speaker 1: The more Carl advanced,
the more I disliked him.
Speaker 1: He was good in the main,
but I had no notion of being married
Speaker 1: and could not bear anyone
who talked to me about it.
Speaker 1: Things were in this way
when I had an invitation to go to
Carlsro
Speaker 1: to visit a school fellow
of whom I had been very fond.
Speaker 1: Babette was all for my
going.
Speaker 1: I don't think I wanted to
leave home.
Speaker 1: And yet I had been very
fond of Sophie Rubrik, but I was
always
Speaker 1: shy among strangers.
Speaker 1: Somehow the affair was
settled for me, but not until both
Fritz
Speaker 1: and my father had made
inquiries as to the character and
position
Speaker 1: of the Rubrics.
Speaker 1: They learned that the
father had held some kind of
inferior
Speaker 1: position about the Grand
Duke's court and was now dead,
leaving
Speaker 1: a widow, a noble lady,
and two daughters, the elder of whom
Speaker 1: was Sophie My Friend.
Speaker 1: Madame Rubrik was not
rich, but more than respectable
gentile.
Speaker 1: When this was
ascertained, my father made no
opposition to my
Speaker 1: going.
Speaker 1: Babette forwarded it by
all the means in her power, and even
Speaker 1: my dear Fritz had his
word to say in its favour.
Speaker 1: Only Katchin was against
it.
Speaker 1: Catchin and Carl.
Speaker 1: The opposition of Carl
did more to send me to Carl's room
than
Speaker 1: anything, for I could
have objected to go, but when he
took
Speaker 1: upon himself to ask what
was the good of going on a gating
visiting
Speaker 1: strangers of whom no one
knew anything, I yelled it to
circumstances,
Speaker 1: to the pulling of Sophie
and the pushing of Babette.
Speaker 1: I was silently vexed.
Speaker 1: I remember, at Babette's
inspection of my clothes, at the way
Speaker 1: in which she settled that
this gown was too old fashioned or
Speaker 1: that too common to go
with me on my Visit to a noble lady,
and
Speaker 1: at the way in which she
took upon herself to spend the money
Speaker 1: my father had given me to
buy what was requisite for the
occasion.
Speaker 1: And yet, I blamed myself,
for everyone else thought her so
kind
Speaker 1: for doing all this, and
she herself meant kindly too.
Speaker 1: At last I quitted the
mill by the necker side.
Speaker 1: It was a long day's
journey, and Fritz went with me to
Karl's
Speaker 1: room.
Speaker 1: The Ruprex lived on the
third floor of a house a little
behind
Speaker 1: one of the principal
streets, in a cramped up court, to
which
Speaker 1: we gave admittance
through a doorway in the street.
Speaker 1: I remember how pinched
their rooms looked after the large
space
Speaker 1: we had at the mill, and
yet they had an air of grandeur
about
Speaker 1: them which was new to me,
and which gave me pleasure, faded
Speaker 1: as some of it was.
Speaker 1: Madame Rupre was too
formal of a lady for me.
Speaker 1: I was never at my ease
with her.
Speaker 1: But Sophie was all that I
had recollected her at school, kind,
Speaker 1: affectionate, and only
rather too ready with her
expressions
Speaker 1: of admiration and regard.
Speaker 1: The little sister kept
out of her way, and that was all we
needed.
Speaker 1: In the first enthusiastic
renewal of our early friendship.
Speaker 1: The one great object of
Madame Rupreck's life was to retain
Speaker 1: her position in society,
and as her means were much
diminished
Speaker 1: since her husband's
death, there was not much comfort,
though
Speaker 1: there was a great deal of
show in their way of living, just
Speaker 1: the opposite of what it
was at my father's house.
Speaker 1: I believe that my coming
was not too much desired by Madame
Speaker 1: Rubrik, as I brought with
me another mouth to be fed.
Speaker 1: But Sophie had spent a
year or more in entreating for
permission
Speaker 1: to invite me, and her
mother, having once consented, was
too
Speaker 1: well bred not to give me
a stately welcome.
Speaker 1: The life in Carlsruhe was
very different from what it was at
Speaker 1: home.
Speaker 1: The hours were later, the
coffee was weaker in the morning,
Speaker 1: the pottage was weaker,
the boiled beef less relieved by
other
Speaker 1: diet, the dresses finer,
the evening engagements constant.
Speaker 1: I did not find these
visits pleasant.
Speaker 1: We might not knit, which
would have relieved the tedium a
little,
Speaker 1: but we sat in a circle,
talking together, only interrupted
occasionally
Speaker 1: by a gentleman, who,
breaking out of the knot of men who
stood
Speaker 1: near the door, talked
eagerly together, stole across the
room
Speaker 1: on tiptoe, his hat under
his arm, and, bringing his feet
together
Speaker 1: in the position we call
the first at the dancing school,
made
Speaker 1: a low bow to the lady he
was going to address.
Speaker 1: The first time I saw
these manners, I could not help
smiley,
Speaker 1: but Madame Rupert saw me
and spoke to me next morning rather
Speaker 1: severely, telling me
that, of course, in my country
breeding,
Speaker 1: I could have seen nothing
of court manners or French fashions,
Speaker 1: but that was no reason
for my laughing at them.
Speaker 1: Of course I tried never
to smile again in company.
Speaker 1: This visit to Carl's room
took place in eighty-nine, just when
Speaker 1: everyone was full of the
events taking place at Paris, and
yet
Speaker 1: Carlsroom French fashions
were more talked of than French
politics.
Speaker 1: Madame Rubrik especially
thought a great deal of all French
Speaker 1: people, and this again
was quite different to us at home.
Speaker 1: Fritz could hardly bear
the name of a Frenchman, and it had
Speaker 1: nearly been an obstacle
to my visit to Sophie that her
mother
Speaker 1: preferred being called
Madame to her proper title of Frau.
Speaker 1: One night I was sitting
next to Sophie and longing for the
time
Speaker 1: when we might have supper
and go home, so as to be able to
speak
Speaker 1: together a thing
forbidden by Madame Rupert's rules
of etiquette,
Speaker 1: which strictly prohibited
any but the most necessary
conversation
Speaker 1: passing between members
of the same family when in society.
Speaker 1: I was sitting, I say,
scarcely keeping back my inclination
to
Speaker 1: yawn when two gentlemen
came in, one of whom was evidently a
Speaker 1: stranger to the whole
party, from the formal manner in
which
Speaker 1: the host led him up, and
presented him to the hostess.
Speaker 1: I thought I had never
seen anyone so handsome or so
elegant.
Speaker 1: His hair was powdered, of
course, but one could see from his
Speaker 1: complexion that it was
fair in its natural state.
Speaker 1: His features were as
delicate as a girl's and set off by
two
Speaker 1: little mouche, as we
called patches in those days, one at
the
Speaker 1: left corner of his mouth,
the other prolonging as if it were
Speaker 1: the right eye.
Speaker 1: His dress was blue and
silver.
Speaker 1: I was so lost in
admiration of this beautiful young
man that
Speaker 1: I was as much surprised
as if the angel Gabriel had spoken
to
Speaker 1: me when the lady of the
house brought him forward to present
Speaker 1: him to me.
Speaker 1: She called him Monsieur
de la Tourelle, and he began to
speak
Speaker 1: to me in French, but
though I understood him perfectly, I
dare
Speaker 1: not trust myself to reply
to him in that language.
Speaker 1: Then he tried in German,
speaking it with a kind of soft lisp
Speaker 1: that I thought charming.
Speaker 1: But before the end of the
evening, I became a little tired of
Speaker 1: the affected softness and
effemency of his manners and the
exaggerated
Speaker 1: compliments he paid me,
which had the effect of making all
the
Speaker 1: company turn around and
look at me.
Speaker 1: Madame Rubric was,
however, pleased with the precise
time that
Speaker 1: displeased me.
Speaker 1: She liked either Sophie
or me to create a sensation.
Speaker 1: Of course she would have
preferred that it should have been
Speaker 1: her daughter, but her
daughter's friend was the next best
thing.
Speaker 1: As we went away, I heard
Madame Rubric and Monsieur de la
Tour
Speaker 1: reciprocating civil
speeches with might and man, from
which
Speaker 1: I found out that the
French gentleman was coming to call
on
Speaker 1: us the next day.
Speaker 1: I do not know whether I
was more glad or frightened, for I
had
Speaker 1: been kept upon stilts of
good manners all evening.
Speaker 1: But still, I was
flattered when Madame Rupreck spoke
as if she
Speaker 1: had invited him, because
he had shown pleasure in my society,
Speaker 1: and even more gratified
by Sophie's ungrudging delight at
the
Speaker 1: evident interest I had
excited in so fine and agreeable a
gentleman.
Speaker 1: Yet, with all this, they
had hard work to keep me from
running
Speaker 1: out of the salon the next
day, when we heard his voice
inquiring
Speaker 1: at the gate on the stairs
of Madame Rubrik's.
Speaker 1: They had made me put on
my Sunday gown, and they themselves
Speaker 1: were dressed as for a
reception.
Speaker 1: When he was gone away,
Madame Rubric congratulated me on
the
Speaker 1: conquest I had made, for
indeed he had scarcely spoken to
anyone
Speaker 1: else beyond what mere
civility required, and had almost
invited
Speaker 1: himself to come in the
evening to bring some new song,
which
Speaker 1: was all the fashion in
Paris, he said.
Speaker 1: Madame Ruprec had been
out all morning, as she told me, to
glean
Speaker 1: information about
Monsieur de la Tourelle.
Speaker 1: He was a proprietaire,
had a small chateau on the Voyages
Mountains,
Speaker 1: he owned land there, but
had a large income from some sources
Speaker 1: quite independent of his
property.
Speaker 1: Altogether he was a good
match, as she emphatically observed.
Speaker 1: She never seemed to think
that I could refuse him after this
Speaker 1: account of his wealth,
nor do I believe she would have
allowed
Speaker 1: Sophie a choice, even had
he been as old and ugly as he was
Speaker 1: young and handsome.
Speaker 1: I do not quite know.
Speaker 1: So many events have come
to pass since then and blurred the
Speaker 1: clearness of my
recollections.
Speaker 1: It was not large nor
grand, but it was strong and
picturesque.
Speaker 1: I used to wish that we
lived in it rather than in the
smart,
Speaker 1: half furnished apartment
in new edifice, which had been
hastily
Speaker 1: got ready for my
reception.
Speaker 1: Incongruous as the two
parts were, they were joined into a
hole
Speaker 1: by means of intricate
passages and unexpected doors, the
exact
Speaker 1: positions of which I
never fully understood.
Speaker 1: Monsieur de la Tourelle
led me to a suite of rooms set apart
Speaker 1: for me, and formally
installed me in them, as in a domain
of
Speaker 1: which I was sovereign.
Speaker 1: He apologized for the
hasty preparation which was all he
had
Speaker 1: been able to make for me,
but promised before I asked, or even
Speaker 1: thought of complaining,
that they should be made as
luxurious
Speaker 1: as heart could wish
before many weeks had elapsed.
Speaker 1: But when, in the gloom of
an ominous evening, I caught my own
Speaker 1: face and figure reflected
in all the mirrors which showed only
Speaker 1: a mysterious background
and the dim light of the many
candles,
Speaker 1: which failed to
illuminate the great proportions of
the half
Speaker 1: furnished salon, I clung
to Monsieur de la Tourelle and
begged
Speaker 1: to be taken to the rooms
he had occupied before his marriage.
Speaker 1: He seemed angry with me,
although he affected to laugh, and
Speaker 1: so decidedly put aside
the notion of my having any other
rooms
Speaker 1: but these, that I
trembled in silence at the fantastic
figures
Speaker 1: and shapes which my
imagination called upon as peopling
the
Speaker 1: background of those
gloomy mirrors.
Speaker 1: There was my boudoir, a
little less dreary, my bedroom with
Speaker 1: its grand and tarnished
furniture, which I calmly made into
Speaker 1: my sitting room, locking
up the various doors which led into
Speaker 1: the boudoir, the salon,
the passages, all but one, through
which
Speaker 1: Monsieur de la Tourelle
always entered from his own
apartments
Speaker 1: in the older part of the
castle.
Speaker 1: But this preference of
mine for occupying my bedroom
annoyed
Speaker 1: Monsieur de la Tourelle,
I am sure, though he did not care to
Speaker 1: express his displeasure.
Speaker 1: He would always allure me
back into the salon which I disliked
Speaker 1: more and more from its
complete separation from the rest of
Speaker 1: the building, by the long
passage into which all the doors of
Speaker 1: my apartment opened.
Speaker 1: This passage was closed
by heavy doors and portiers, through
Speaker 1: which I could not hear a
sound from the other parts of the
house,
Speaker 1: and of course, the
servants could not hear any movement
or cry
Speaker 1: of mine unless expressly
summoned.
Speaker 1: To a girl brought up as I
had been in a household where every
Speaker 1: individual lived all day
in the sight of every other member
Speaker 1: of the family, never
wanted either chokeful words or the
sense
Speaker 1: of silent companionship.
Speaker 1: This grand isolation of
mine was very formidable, and the
more
Speaker 1: so because Monsieur de la
Tourelle, as landed proprietor,
sportsman,
Speaker 1: and whatnot, was
generally out of doors the greater
part of
Speaker 1: every day, and sometimes
for two or three days at a time.
Speaker 1: I had no pride to keep me
from associating with the domestics.
Speaker 1: It would have been
natural to me in many ways to have
sought
Speaker 1: them out for word of
sympathy in those dreary days when I
was
Speaker 1: left so entirely myself.
Speaker 1: Had they been like our
kindly German servants.
Speaker 1: But I disliked them.
Speaker 1: One and all, I could not
tell why.
Speaker 1: Some were civil, but
there was a familiarity in their
civility
Speaker 1: which repelled me.
Speaker 1: Others were rude, and
treated me more as if I were an
intruder
Speaker 1: than their master's
chosen wife.
Speaker 1: And yet, of the two sets,
I liked these last the best.
Speaker 1: The principal male
servant belonged to this latter
class.
Speaker 1: I was very much afraid of
him.
Speaker 1: He had such an air of
suspicious surliness about him and
all
Speaker 1: he did for me.
Speaker 1: And yet, Monsieur de la
Toreux spoke of him as most valuable
Speaker 1: and faithful.
Speaker 1: Indeed, sometimes it
struck me that Le Fre ruled his
master
Speaker 1: in some things.
Speaker 1: In this I could not make
out.
Speaker 1: For while Monsieur de la
Toreux behaved towards me as if I
were
Speaker 1: some precious toy or idol
to be cherished and fostered and
petted
Speaker 1: and indulged, I soon
found out how little I, or
apparently,
Speaker 1: anyone else, could bend
the terrible will of the man who
had,
Speaker 1: on first acquaintance,
appeared to me too effeminate and
languid
Speaker 1: to exert his will in the
slightest particular.
Speaker 1: I had learnt to know his
face better now, and to see that
some
Speaker 1: venate depth of feeling,
the cause of which I could not
fathom,
Speaker 1: made his grey eye glitter
with pale light, and his lips
contract,
Speaker 1: and his delicate cheek
whiten on certain occasions.
Speaker 1: But all had been so open
and above bored at home that I had
Speaker 1: no experience to help me
to unravel any mysteries among those
Speaker 1: who lived under the same
roof.
Speaker 1: I understood that I had
made what Madame Rupert and her set
Speaker 1: would have called a great
marriage, because I lived in a
chateau
Speaker 1: with many servants bound
ostensibly to obey me as a mistress.
Speaker 1: I understood that
Monsieur de la Tourelle was fond
enough of
Speaker 1: me in his way, proud of
my beauty, I dare say, for he often
Speaker 1: spoke about it to me.
Speaker 1: But he was also jealous
and suspicious and uninfluenced by
my
Speaker 1: wishes, unless they
tallied with his own.
Speaker 1: I felt at this time as if
I could have been fond of him too
Speaker 1: if he would have let me,
but I was timid from my childhood,
Speaker 1: and before long my dread
of his displeasure, coming down like
Speaker 1: thunder into the midst of
his love, for such slight causes as
Speaker 1: a hesitation in reply, a
wrong word or a sigh for my father,
Speaker 1: could not please him,
when indeed I loved him.
Speaker 1: You may imagine how often
I did wrong when I was so much
afraid
Speaker 1: of him as to quietly
avoid his company for fear of his
outburst
Speaker 1: of passion.
Speaker 1: One thing I remember
noticing that the more Monsieur de
la Tourelle
Speaker 1: was displeased with me,
the more Le Febvre seemed to
chuckle,
Speaker 1: and when I was restored
to favor, sometimes on as sudden an
Speaker 1: impulse as that which
occasioned my disgrace, Le Fevre
would
Speaker 1: look as at me with his
cold, malicious eyes, and once or
twice
Speaker 1: at such times he spoke
most disrespectfully to Monsieur de
la
Speaker 1: Tourelle.
Speaker 1: I have almost forgotten
to say that.
Speaker 1: A Norman woman, Amante by
name, was sent to Les Rocher by the
Speaker 1: Paris Milliner to become
my maid.
Speaker 1: She was tall and
handsome, though upwards of forty
and somewhat
Speaker 1: gaunt, but on first
seeing her I liked her.
Speaker 1: She was neither rude nor
familiar in her manners, and had a
Speaker 1: pleasant look of
straightforwardness about her that I
had missed
Speaker 1: in all the inhabitants of
the chateau, and had foolishly set
Speaker 1: down in my own mind as a
national want.
Speaker 1: Amante was directed by
Monsieur de la Torelle to sit in my
boudoir
Speaker 1: and to be always within
call.
Speaker 1: He always gave her many
instructions as to her duties in
matters
Speaker 1: which perhaps strictly
belonged to my department of
management.
Speaker 1: But I was young and
inexperienced, and thankfully to be
spared
Speaker 1: any responsibility.
Speaker 1: I dare say it was true
what Monsieur de la Tourelle said,
before
Speaker 1: many weeks had passed
that for a great lady, a lady of a
castle,
Speaker 1: I became sadly too
familiar with my Norman waiting
maid.
Speaker 1: But you know that by
birth we were not very far apart in
rank.
Speaker 1: Amante was the daughter
of a Norman farmer, I of a German
miller,
Speaker 1: and besides that my life
was so lonely.
Speaker 1: It almost seemed as if I
could not please my husband.
Speaker 1: He had written for
someone capable of being my
companion at
Speaker 1: times, and now he was
jealous of my free regard for her,
angry
Speaker 1: because I could sometimes
laugh at her original tunes and
amusing
Speaker 1: proverbs, while when with
him I was too much frightened to
smile.
Speaker 1: From time to time,
families from a distance of some
leagues
Speaker 1: strove through the bad
roads to their heavy carriages to
pay
Speaker 1: us a visit, and there was
an occasional talk of our going to
Speaker 1: Paris when public affairs
should be a little more settled.
Speaker 1: These little events and
plans were the only variations in my
Speaker 1: life for the first twelve
months.
Speaker 1: If I accept the
alternations in Monsieur de la
Tourelle's temper,
Speaker 1: his unreasonable anger,
and his passionate calmness.
Speaker 1: Perhaps one of the
reasons that made me take pleasure
and comfort
Speaker 1: in Amante's society was
that whereas I was afraid of
everyone,
Speaker 1: I do not think I was half
as much afraid of things as of
persons.
Speaker 1: Amante feared no one.
Speaker 1: She would quietly beard
LaFebre, and he respected her all
the
Speaker 1: more for it.
Speaker 1: She had a knack of
putting questions to Monsieur de la
Tour,
Speaker 1: which respectfully
informed him that she had detected
the weak
Speaker 1: point, but forbore to
impress him too closely upon it out
of
Speaker 1: deference to his position
as her master, and with all her
shrewdness
Speaker 1: to other, she had quite
tender ways with me, all the more so
Speaker 1: at this time because she
knew what I had not yet ventured to
Speaker 1: tell Monsieur de la
Tourell, that by and by I might
become a
Speaker 1: mother that wonderful
object of mysterious interest to
single
Speaker 1: women who no longer hope
to enjoy such blessedness
themselves.
Speaker 1: It was once more autumn,
late in October, but I was
reconciled
Speaker 1: to my habitation.
Speaker 1: The walls of the new part
of the building no longer looked
bare
Speaker 1: and desolate.
Speaker 1: The debris had been so
far cleared away by Monsieur de la
Tourelle's
Speaker 1: desire as to make me a
little flower garden, in which I
tried
Speaker 1: to cultivate those plants
that I remembered as growing at
home.
Speaker 1: Amontyana had moved the
furniture in the rooms and adjusted
Speaker 1: it to our liking.
Speaker 1: My husband had ordered
many an article from time to time
that
Speaker 1: he thought would give me
pleasure, and I was becoming tame to
Speaker 1: my parent imprisonment in
a certain part of the great
building,
Speaker 1: the whole of which I had
never yet explored.
Speaker 1: It was October, as I say,
once more.
Speaker 1: The days were lovely,
though short in duration, and
Monsieur
Speaker 1: de Matorelle had a
occasion, so he said, to go to that
distant
Speaker 1: estate, the
superintendents of which so
frequently took him
Speaker 1: away from home.
Speaker 1: He took Le Febre with him
and possibly some more of the
lackeys.
Speaker 1: He often did, and my
spirits rose a little at the thought
of
Speaker 1: his absence, and then the
new sensation that he was the father
Speaker 1: of my unborn babe came
over me, and I tried to invest him
with
Speaker 1: this fresh character.
Speaker 1: I tried to believe that
it was his passionate love for me
that
Speaker 1: made him so jealous and
tyrannical, imposing, as he did,
restrictions
Speaker 1: on my very intercourse
with my dear father, from whom I was
Speaker 1: so entirely separated, as
far as personal intercourse was
concerned.
Speaker 1: I had, it is true, let
myself go into a sorrowful review of
Speaker 1: all the troubles which
lay hidden beneath the seeming
luxury
Speaker 1: of my life.
Speaker 1: I knew that no one cared
for me except my husband and Amante,
Speaker 1: for it was clear enough
to see that I, as his wife, and also
Speaker 1: uh Pauvenu, was not
popular among the few neighbors who
surrounded
Speaker 1: us.
Speaker 1: And as for the servants,
the women were all hard and pudent
Speaker 1: looking, treating me with
a semblance of respect that had more
Speaker 1: of mockery than reality
in it, while the men had a lurking
kind
Speaker 1: of fierceness about them,
sometimes displayed even to Monsieur
Speaker 1: de la Toelle, who on his
part, it must be confessed, was
often
Speaker 1: severe to cr even to
cruelty in his management of them.
Speaker 1: My husband loved me, I
said to myself, but I said it almost
Speaker 1: in the form of a
question.
Speaker 1: His love was shown
fitfully and more in ways calculated
to please
Speaker 1: himself than to please
me.
Speaker 1: I felt that for no wish
of mine would he deviate one tittle
Speaker 1: from any predetermined
course of action.
Speaker 1: I had learnt the
inflexibility of those thin,
delicate lips.
Speaker 1: I knew how anger would
turn his fair complexion to deadly
white
Speaker 1: and bring the cruel light
into his pale blue eyes.
Speaker 1: The love I bore to anyone
seemed to be a reason for his hating
Speaker 1: them, and so I went on
pitying myself one long dreary
afternoon
Speaker 1: during the absence of
his, of which I have spoken, only
sometimes
Speaker 1: remembering to check
myself in my murmurings by thinking
of
Speaker 1: the new unseen link
between us.
Speaker 1: And then crying afresh to
think how wicked I was.
Speaker 1: Ugh how well I remember
that long October evening.
Speaker 1: Amante came in from time
to time, talking away to cheer me,
Speaker 1: talking about dress and
Paris, and I hardly know what, but
from
Speaker 1: time to time looking at
me keenly with her friendly dark
eyes,
Speaker 1: and with serious interest
too, though all her words were about
Speaker 1: frivolty.
Speaker 1: At length, she heaped the
fire with wood, drew the heavy
silken
Speaker 1: curtains close, for I had
been anxious hitherto to keep them
Speaker 1: open, so that I might see
the pale moon mounting the skies as
Speaker 1: I used to see her, the
same moon rise from behind the
Kaiser
Speaker 1: stool at Heidelberg.
Speaker 1: But the sight made me
cry, so Monty shot it out.
Speaker 1: She dictated to me as a
nurse does to a child.
Speaker 1: Now Madame must have the
little kitten to keep her company,
Speaker 1: she said, while I go and
ask Martin for a cup of coffee.
Speaker 1: I remember that speech
and the way it roused me, for I did
not
Speaker 1: like Amonty to think I
wanted amusing my kitten.
Speaker 1: It might be my petulance,
but this speech, such as she might
Speaker 1: have made to a child,
annoyed me, and I said that I had
reason
Speaker 1: for my loneliness of
spirits, meaning that they were not
of
Speaker 1: so imaginary a nature
that I could be diverted from them
by
Speaker 1: the gambles of a kitten.
Speaker 1: So, though I did not
choose to tell her all, I told her
part,
Speaker 1: and as I spoke, I began
to suspect that the good creature
knew
Speaker 1: much of what I withheld,
and that the little speech about the
Speaker 1: Kinton was more
thoughtfully kind than it had seemed
at first.
Speaker 1: I said that it was so
long since I had heard from my
father,
Speaker 1: that he was an old man
and so many things might happen.
Speaker 1: I might never see him
again.
Speaker 1: And I so seldom heard
from him or my brother.
Speaker 1: It was a more complete
and total separation than I had ever
Speaker 1: anticipated when I
married, and something of my home
and of
Speaker 1: my life previous to my
marriage I told the good Amonte, for
Speaker 1: I had not been brought up
as a great lady, and the sympathy
Speaker 1: of any human being was
precious to me.
Speaker 1: Amonte listened with
great interest, and in return told
me some
Speaker 1: of the events and sorrows
of her own life.
Speaker 1: Then, remembering her
purpose, she set out in search of
the
Speaker 1: coffee which ought to
have been brought to me an hour
before,
Speaker 1: but in my husband's
absence, my wishes were but seldom
attended
Speaker 1: to.
Speaker 1: And I never dared to give
orders.
Speaker 1: Presently she returned,
bringing the coffee and a great
large
Speaker 1: cake.
Speaker 1: See?
Speaker 1: said she, sitting it
down, look at my plunder.
Speaker 1: Madame must eat.
Speaker 1: Those who eat always
laugh, and besides, I have a little
news
Speaker 1: that will please Madame.
Speaker 1: Then she told me that,
lying on a table in the great
kitchen
Speaker 1: was a bundle of letters
come by the courier from Strasbourg
Speaker 1: that very afternoon.
Speaker 1: Then, fresh from her
conversation with me, she had
hastily untied
Speaker 1: the string that bound
them, but had only just traced out
one
Speaker 1: that she thought was from
Germany when a servant man came in
Speaker 1: and, with the start he
gave her, she dropped the letters,
which
Speaker 1: he picked up, swearing at
her for having untied and
disarranged
Speaker 1: them.
Speaker 1: She told him that she
believed there was a letter there
for
Speaker 1: her mistress, but he only
swore the more, saying that if there
Speaker 1: was, it was no business
of hers or of his either, for that
he
Speaker 1: had the strictest orders
always to take all letters that
arrived
Speaker 1: during his master's
absence into the private sitting
room of
Speaker 1: the latter, a room into
which I had never entered, although
Speaker 1: it opened out of my
husband's dressing room.
Speaker 1: I asked Amati if she had
not conquered and brought me this
letter.
Speaker 1: No, indeed, she replied.
Speaker 1: It was almost as much as
her life was worth to live among
such
Speaker 1: a set of servants.
Speaker 1: It was only a month ago
that Jacques had stabbed Ballantin
for
Speaker 1: some jesting talk.
Speaker 1: Had I never missed
Ballantin, that handsome young lad
who carried
Speaker 1: up the wood into my
salon?
Speaker 1: Oh, poor fellow.
Speaker 1: He lies dead and cold
now, and they said in the village he
had
Speaker 1: put an end to himself,
but those of the household knew
better.
Speaker 1: Oh I need not be afraid.
Speaker 1: Jacques was gone, no one
knew where, but with such people it
Speaker 1: was not safe to upbraid
ordinance.
Speaker 1: Monseul would be home the
next day, and it would not be long
Speaker 1: to wait.
Speaker 1: But I felt as if I could
not exist till the next day without
Speaker 1: that letter.
Speaker 1: It might be to say that
my father was ill, dying.
Speaker 1: He might cry for his
daughter from his deathbed.
Speaker 1: In short, there was no
end to the thoughts and fancies that
Speaker 1: haunted me.
Speaker 1: It was of no use for
Monty to say that after all she
might be
Speaker 1: mistaken, that she did
not read writing well, that she had
but
Speaker 1: a glimpse of the address.
Speaker 1: I let my coffee cool, my
food all became distasteful, and I
Speaker 1: wrung my hands with
impatience to get at the letter and
have
Speaker 1: some news of my dear ones
at home.
Speaker 1: All the time Amanti kept
her imperturbable good temper, first
Speaker 1: reasoning, then scolding.
Speaker 1: At last she said, as if
wearied out, that if I would consent
Speaker 1: to make a good supper,
she would see what could be done as
to
Speaker 1: our going to Monsieur's
room in search of the letter after
the
Speaker 1: servants were all gone to
bed.
Speaker 1: We agreed to go together
when all was still and look over the
Speaker 1: letters.
Speaker 1: There could be no harm in
that.
Speaker 1: And yet somehow we were
such cowards we dared not do it
openly
Speaker 1: and in the face of the
household.
Speaker 1: Presently my supper came
up partridges, bread, fruits, and
cream.
Speaker 1: How well I remember that
supper.
Speaker 1: We put the untouched cake
away in a sort of buffet and poured
Speaker 1: the cold coffee out the
window in order that the servants
might
Speaker 1: not take offense at the
apparent fancifulness of sending
down
Speaker 1: for food I could not eat.
Speaker 1: I was so anxious for all
to be in bed that I told the footman
Speaker 1: who served that he need
not wait to take away the plates and
Speaker 1: dishes, but might go to
bed.
Speaker: Long after I thought the
house was quiet, Amonty and her
caution
Speaker: made me wait.
Speaker 1: Join me next week for
part two, where we learn of Anna and
Amonte's
Speaker 1: fates.
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this
story and do come back for another
Gothic
Speaker 1: tale.