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Welcome to the Healing Our Politics Podcast!
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Guests:
Byron Katie is the creator of The Work, an incredibly powerful method of self-inquiry that helps individuals break free from the thoughts that create suffering. Her books, including Loving What Is, A Mind at Home with Itself, and Who Would You Be Without That Story, have become staples in the personal development world, with millions of copies sold and translated into over 30 languages – reaching people in boardrooms, prisons, and even war zones. Her method has had a profound impact on high performers across a wide range of fields, including business, therapy, and conflict resolution, and has been hailed by some of the most influential figures of our time—Oprah, Eckhart Tolle, and Tony Robbins, to name a few. Katie was even recognized by Time magazine as the spiritual innovator of the 21st century.
Matt Plourd is a city councilman in Newington, Connecticut, and a truly remarkable young leader from a family of public servants. Still in his 20s, Matt is already on a determined and productive journey as one of the youngest ever elected officials in his town's history. With a strong sense of responsibility for “the community that raised and loved [him] in [his] most difficult moments,” Matt is dedicating his life to bridging the divide and helping us navigate back to common sense and compassion. Beginning as an organizer in high school for efforts across the country. He has led and created meaningful change in public safety, and environmental security and worked to protect the rights and freedoms of the most vulnerable. Recently, in his appointment as councilman, Matt successfully guided budget changes for Newington’s education system and schools, the largest increase in 20 years, as well as giving the human services department the largest increase in a decade.
About the Episode:
In today’s conversation, Katie and I dive deep into how The Work came to be, and how it can be a vital leadership tool for public servants. Public leadership requires the ability to navigate conflict, uncertainty, and high-stakes decisions with clarity and compassion—and that’s exactly what The Work helps you do. You’ll learn how to dissolve the fears that arise from rivals or opposition, how to shift from adversarial to collaborative leadership, and how this powerful method can transform difficult conversations into opportunities for growth. We also discuss why a setback—whether it’s losing an election or not getting the job—may actually be the best thing that ever happened to your leadership. We also dive into Katie’s remarkable personal story, experiencing a sudden, life-changing realization in 1986, she went from being clinically depressed and agoraphobic on the floor of a halfway house to, in an instant, finding the clarity that changed her life and, ultimately, the lives of millions. And we don’t stop there! In the second half of this episode, I sit down with Matt Plourd, city councilman of Newington, Connecticut, and we put The Work into action on a live situation he’s facing in his service. You’ll get to see how The Work can be applied in real-time, providing not just clarity but profound insight for public servants who want to lead with intention and effectiveness. Get ready for an enlightening conversation with Byron Katie and Matt Plourd.
Key Topics Discussed:
Key Topics Discussed:
· [00:02:42] Guest/Episode Introduction
· [00:08:20] Before the Work found me
· [00:09:37] Suddenly I Could See
· [00:10:57] People Wanted Help: The Worksheet
· [00:12:00] In Play with Ego and Duality
· [00:14:07] With Distinction Comes Separation
· [00:15:08] "Judging" Your Opponent
· [00:17:54] Powerful Outcomes
· [00:21:10] True Empowerment In Leadership
· [00:22:08] Ego is an Imaginary Banana
· [00:24:30] Breaking Free from Imagined Suffering
· [00:26:23] “Only 100 Percent of the Time”
· [00:27:00] If I Win, I Win. If I Lose, I Win.
· [00:27:26] When “Barb” has a Problem
· [00:29:36] The Work is an Invitation, not a Demand
· [00:31:26] How To Work Through the Worksheet:
- Anchoring The Ego: Write it Down
- Questioning the Thought in Stillness
- Noticing the Reaction
- “Who Would I be Without the Thought?”
- Turning it Around
- Anchoring The Ego: Write it Down
- Questioning the Thought in Stillness
- Noticing the Reaction
- “Who Would I be Without the Thought?”
- Turning it Around
· [00:36:20] How to Do the Turn - Arounds
· [00:39:50] Final Question: "Judge Your Neighbor.. & Turn it Around”
· [00:42:18] ELC Foundation donors
· [00:44:34] Welcoming Matt Plourd
· [00:47:00] Matt’s Service Journey: Highlights & Struggles
· [00:51:25] What Do Think People Believe About You?
· [00:52:22] The Fears You Hold
· [00:44:34] Letting Go of Belief
· [00:55:40] Doing the Worksheet
· [00:56:28] Meeting Matt’s Neighbor
· [01:00:45] Crafting a Statement about the Neighbor
· [01:01:25] How Do You Want Them to Change?
· [01:02:27] What is Your Advice for this Neighbor?
· [01:05:36] What Do You Need From Your Neighbor?
· [01:06:50] The Petty Part
· [01:08:30] The Part Don’t Want
· [01:09:38] Embodying the Moment
· [01:11:03] Questioning The Statement
· [01:11:40] Staying Present in the Moment
· [01:12:08] How Do You React to the Belief?
· [01:12:38] Do Your Behaviors Change?
· [01:13:02] How is Your Leadership Affected?
· [01:14:08] Who Would You Be Without that Thought
· [01:14:45] Creating the Turn-Arounds
· [01:15:16] 1st Turn-Around: I’m Disappointed in Myself
· [01:18:17] 2nd Turn-Around: I’m Proud of My Neighbor
· [01:21:42] 3rd Turn-Around: I’m Disappointed in My Neighbor for Holding Back
· [01:24:33] 4th Turn-Around: I’m Proud of My Neighbor for Contributing
· [01:29:30] Bringing The Work to Your World as a Leader
· [01:31:58] What’s an Action You can Take?
· [01:33:11] Underneath Anger is Fear
· [01:38:05]The Progress Equation
· [01:39:45] “The Leader’s Handbook” (https://www.healingourpolitics.com/#newsletter) Newsletter
· [01:51:25] Sponsor: ELC (https://www.electedleaderscollective.com)
Key References and Resources Mentioned:
Where to Find Byron Katie:
Where to Find Matt Plourd:
Where to Find Host Skippy Mesirow:
- Receive Support at the Elected Leaders Collective ElectedLeadersCollective.com
- Follow on Instagram www.instagam.com/skippymesirow
- Book a free Clarity Call https://calendly.com/skippymesirow/elc-clarity-call to see if coaching is right for you
Helping You Heal Our Politics
The Elected Leaders Collective (ELC) organization is the leading US-based provider of mental well-being training for public servants, conducted by public servants and the world's best mental health and human optimization professionals. With ELC Training, you will learn to rise above and become the political healer you were meant to be, improving your well-being in the process.
Contact the HOP Team:
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Contact our team at jesse@healingourpolitics.com
Your input helps us create content that matters.
Creators and Guests
Host
Skippy Mesirow
Skippy Mesirow is a prominent leader, certified Master Coach, and founder of the Elected Leaders Collective (ELC) and ELC Foundation. ELC leads the US in mental health and well-being training for public servants, recognized in The Apolitical Foundation's Mere Mortals report, and named as one of 26 worldwide political well-being "Trailblazer Organizations." A transformational leader in political innovation and wellness, Skippy serves on Gov. Polis’s Natural Medicine Advisory. Skippy’s work has been featured in numerous podcasts and publications, as well as main-stage speaking engagements for organizations NLC, YEO, CML, MT2030, Bridging Divides, and Fulcrum, highlighting his significant contributions to mental health, community, and policy reform. Alongside his professional achievements, Skippy lives in Aspen, CO. with his partner Jamie where he enjoys running ultra-marathons, road biking, motorcycling, international travel, culinary arts, Burning Man, and lifelong learning.
Producer
Aaron Calafato
Aaron’s stories are currently heard by millions around the globe on his award-winning Podcast 7 Minute Stories and on YouTube. Aaron is a co-host of Glassdoor's new podcast (The Lonely Office) and serves as a podcast consultant for some of the fastest-growing companies in the world.
Editor
Jesse Link
Jesse is a strategy, research and partnership consultant and podcast enthusiast. A 2x founder, former Goldman Sachs Vice President and advisor to 25+ businesses, Jesse brings a unique and diverse background to HoP, helping to elevate the range, depth and perspective of HoP's conversations and strategy.
What is The Civic Courage Lab™ Podcast?
This is your training ground for courage.
To survive and thrive in the gladiator sport of public service, you need all six pillars of empowered leadership — mental, emotional, physical, social, financial, and spiritual health.
The Civic Courage Lab™ Podcast brings the world’s leading experts in human development together for the people doing society’s hardest work — public servants, civic innovators, changemakers, and bridge builders. Each conversation explores how to apply these insights directly to your role, helping you strengthen all six pillars of empowered leadership through real stories, practical tools, and wisdom from high-impact leaders who’ve turned their greatest challenges into personal growth and collective success.
Success in the ultra-endurance sport of impact demands courage, curiosity, integrity, and love. Here, you’ll cultivate them all — in community.
From the creators of The COURAGE METHOD™ — the framework that’s helped councils move from combat to collaboration, nonprofits from floundering to funded, policies from ideas to impact, and activists from unknown to unstoppable.
Welcome to COURAGE.
Conscious leaders put people first, but so do conscious companies. I spent seven years of my life working at Skyrun Aspen, always joking that it was my public service subsidy, and they walk this. During COVID, Sky Run helped short term rentals transition to long term housing so locals had a place to stay and owners could keep their homes. And when the time was right, they helped us shift right back as a community. If you're looking for a vacation rental company that leads with care, then SkyRun is it.
Speaker 1:To experience their commitment to community and care in Colorado, use code HOP15, that's Healing Our Politics 15, for 15% off a stay, whether for yourself or someone in your community. Check the link in the show notes for more. Hello. My name is Skippy Mezaru, coach, former elected official, and lifetime public servant. Welcome to Healing Our Politics, the show that shows you, the heart centered public servant and political leader, how to heal our politics by starting with the human in the mirror.
Speaker 1:It is my job to sit down or stand up with the best experts in all areas of human development thought leaders, coaches, therapists, authors, scientists, and more to take the best of what they have learned and translate it specifically for the public service experience, providing you actionable, practical, tactical tools that you can test out today in your life and with your teens. I will also talk to leaders across the globe with a self care practice, getting to know them at a deeply human and personal level so that you can learn from their challenges and journey. Warning. This is a postpartisan space. Yes.
Speaker 1:I have a bias. You have a bias. We all have a bias. Everybody gets a bias. And I will be stripping out all of the unconscious cues of bias from this space.
Speaker 1:No politics, partisanship, or policy here because well-being belongs to all of us, and we will all be better served if every human in leadership, regardless of party, ideology, race, or geography, are happier, healthier, and more connected. This show is about resourcing you, the human doing leadership, and trusting you to make up your own damn mind about what to do with it and what's best for your community. So as always, with love, here we go. Today, I have someone, actually someone's, and something truly special for you. In this episode, I sit down with the world famous Byron Katie, or as she prefers, simply Katie.
Speaker 1:Katie is the founder of The Work, a four part question framework that has changed the way millions of people experience their own minds dismantling thoughts that cause suffering. When I served in office, I used this framework. I actually used this frequently to get me out of sticky situations with my colleagues, citizens, and the city manager. It helped me move from victim to empowered actor, releasing stress, rumination, and fear every single time. No joke.
Speaker 1:Think of it as cognitive behavioral therapy meets radical self inquiry. Shout out past guest Jerry Colonna. Go check out that one. Except instead of managing stress, it helps you flip reality on its head and leaves you with nothing but peace. In fact, while recently facilitating annual retreat in Wyoming, I watched a brave mayor do exactly that.
Speaker 1:She had been viciously and baselessly attacked during her previous election, and I watched her eyes light up. When doing the work on judgment of her accuser, she said, Oh my God. If I just swapped their name for mine, it's all still true. I gave up my power, and now I can take it back. Her breakthrough released months of pain in an instant, and her vulnerability created the space, the permission structure for her council members to share challenges that they'd been hiding.
Speaker 1:Seeing each other as humans again in this process, they came together and set a strong unified agenda across party lines. Yes. That is still happening today if you're willing to do the work. Katie's books have sold millions of copies and have been translated into over 30 languages. Titles like Loving What Is, A Mind at Home with Itself, and Who Would You Be Without That Story have become classics in the world of personal development.
Speaker 1:She's been hailed by everyone from Oprah, yes, that Oprah, to Eckhart Tolle, and her teachings have found their way into boardrooms, prisons, and war zones. The likes of Tony Robbins, Tim Ferriss, and countless other high performers swear by her methods, and Time Magazine named her nothing less than the spiritual innovator of the twenty first century. In this episode, we dive into Katie's story, how after a decade long spiral into depression, rage, and addiction, she had a spontaneous awakening on the floor of a halfway house that led directly to the work and what she learned in that moment. We discussed the world's most powerful leadership tools, how your mind creates reality, and with that knowledge, how you can train your mind to create the reality that best serves you and your community. You will learn how to dissolve the fears of rivals and shift from adversarial to collaborative leadership to get more done, the counterintuitive approach to handling difficult people that will set you free, and why losing an election or not getting the job may be the best thing that ever happened to you and your leadership.
Speaker 1:This is a story I know intimately. Then we get even deeper as I sit down with Matt Plord, city councilman of Newington, Connecticut, and actually do the work on a live situation coming up in his service. Matt is a remarkable young leader from a family of public servants, a real legacy. Still in his twenties, he is dedicating his life to bridging the divide and helping us navigate back to common sense and compassion to improve the lives of all Americans. In my experience, he has an uncanny self awareness and ability to own his shortcomings that far surpasses leaders with many decades of experience on him.
Speaker 1:It deeply impresses me, and I'm genuinely inspired by his leadership and the journey he is just beginning. This is one for the record book, so strap in and grab your popcorn or healthy snacks. And I hope you enjoy this deeply human, transformative, but also applicable conversation with Byron Katie and Matt Plord. Hello, Katie.
Speaker 2:Hi, Skippy.
Speaker 1:Hi. What a pleasure. An absolute Oh,
Speaker 2:And thank you for your just amazing work. I just am so happy to meet you.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Byron Katie, welcome to the Healing Our Politics podcast, the show that shows you, the heart centered leader, how to heal our politics by starting with the human in the mirror. I truly can't tell you what an honor and pleasure it is to have you on the show today.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you, Skippy. Your work is so good. I'm so grateful. How could I not just hang out with you a while and see if we could do some good together?
Speaker 1:I so appreciate that. Certainly you have all the big accolades that people know about. But what really hit home for me is when I got the email from your team that you were gonna come on the show. I mentioned it to my partner who's also a coach, also a trainee of Alyssa Nobrega, who's very in your world. And she just burst out crying because it means so much to her.
Speaker 1:And your work has done so much for her and for me. And so it's really special.
Speaker 2:So nice to hear. Thank you. Can
Speaker 1:you just sketch for us a little bit about your life before and after discovering the work?
Speaker 2:Prior to the work, it's self inquiry, and I call it the work, it's self inquiry. But prior to that awareness that gave me the questions, the experience, and then the questions were a way for me to relate it rather than to teach it where everyone could be their own teacher. Because that's where the wisdom is, so it points people directly to source their own. And the work, when it found me, I was on the floor after years of agora phobia, just horrible, honey, just, ah, horrible, you know, sleeping with a gun under my pillow, for heaven's sakes, just fear and terror, depression. I would call it hell.
Speaker 2:And so, I can share that hell really is a state of mind. When the work found me, I was on the floor because I didn't believe I deserved a bed to sleep in. My self esteem and self loathing ran so deep, even though there was a bed in the room. So, one day as I lay sleeping on the floor, a bug crawled over my foot and I opened my eyes. In the absence of ego, in the absence of anything, just nothing there, I could see.
Speaker 2:And then as we say, out of the blue, I saw light, but it wasn't light until my ego named it Light, and that the world was born. Like, I didn't know the name of anything I was being taught like a brand new child. And so I was like a blank slate. And it's such a gift to be in this world. For me, that is presence, that is awake to reality, that is understanding the cause of all suffering.
Speaker 2:And so when people would ask me, What is this remarkable change? From a bed in a bedroom all locked away to out in the world, how do you answer that? You can't answer it honestly because anything I could say about it would be, I mean, it falls short. And people really wanted help, they wanted to be free and word traveled so fast. So that's where the worksheet came from, the worksheet has six questions on it.
Speaker 2:It's a way to identify and question the thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. It's an exercise in stillness, and I don't call it the work for nothing, you know, we're working with the ego and to just kind of just respectfully move what we're thinking and believing from our mind to paper. That's respectful. We're not trying to kill it. And then to question it, and it loves offering up the answers.
Speaker 2:It loves to be asked. It loves that attention. And so it offers up the answers through word and images in our head, just like me on the floor, takes them into that experience, and then they can just meditate in those questions and what I call turnaround, like something terrible is going to happen after I've questioned the thought and I try the opposite, something terrible is going to happen, something wonderful is going to happen. So now we're in play respectfully with not only the ego but apparent duality. It's so beautiful, not to deny what we're offered here and what I refer to as Earth school.
Speaker 1:Yes. So I get curious. The world duality is interesting, and I'm picturing you in this place, and who knows if my vision remotely captures what the moment was. But what was the shift? What did you understand in that moment?
Speaker 2:Before the ego could identify I or anything, I or it, I saw. It was a moment of non identification. For me, I understood the ego's world. I mean, if you could not think, Do you know who or what you are or what anything is? That is that state of non being.
Speaker 2:And then I didn't think, window, it was offered up. And that doesn't mean it's true, it's offered up. And then I saw light and it offered up the word light. And I saw that if something doesn't have a name, there's not, let's say, duality.
Speaker 1:Separation dissolves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a glorious thing to know that life is imagined.
Speaker 1:Is it fair to say, and this is totally me trying to put words to the ineffable, and I recognize that, but fear comes from separateness. That thing can hurt me. That thing can harm me. That thing is coming to me. But when I recognize that that thing is me and I am that thing, then I have the opportunity to step back, perspectively, and just see the beauty in what is.
Speaker 2:I love that so much. Mhmm. Okay. I'm out of here. It's done.
Speaker 1:It's such a beautiful notion and it's one that is so hard to conjure if you haven't experienced it in some way.
Speaker 2:Does a child, does a little child, you know, it can see like light but doesn't name it light. It can see a mother or a father, but it doesn't have a name for it, it doesn't have a word. So, it doesn't exist, there's no I. And the woman is like, This is my mother. Now there's a me and a mother, duality.
Speaker 2:And even to have a my can be questioned.
Speaker 1:Yes. These questions, this process become the mechanism by which people who are not lucky enough to have this unexpected experience have a similar shift in perspective. Is that fair?
Speaker 2:Yes. But there's no one that can't see what I saw. There cannot be object without a name. Even if the name is I don't know what it is. It's being kind of named.
Speaker 2:Like there's an edge.
Speaker 1:And yet people in our line of work in public service roles very frequently, and I was guilty of this for a number of years and I fall back into that pattern, can get so focused on the immediate, the need, the fear that you just go from task to task to task and you forget to tap back into that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Let's say if I'm in politics and I have an opponent, then even if I respect that person and understand that person, if that's my opponent, for example, would give me cause to fill in a worksheet on that opponent. If I felt threatened like we're in the same election, we're running for the same office, then I'm going to fill in one of those, what I call a judge your neighbor worksheet, there's six questions on it. I'm going to move from my head to paper on what I believe about that opponent. And the way that that works is, let's say, I am thinking I would be better for the cause and I'm more qualified than my opponent.
Speaker 2:So I would judge my opponent on that Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet, which is what it is, it's about judging. Then I would question what I'm believing about that opponent, and then I turn it around like he's not fit for public office. And is it true? And then I answer honestly, yes or no, I contemplate it first, is it true? Because I may feel like, you know, he'd be pretty good at this, but I'm testing it.
Speaker 2:And then once I know my opponents, so I'm not doing battle with them, I'm not trying to win, I'm doing my best to put out there who I am with all integrity, and if he becomes then good for the public.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it moves you, and I've experienced this doing that exact worksheet multiple times with personality conflicts between myself and others in my organization that were holding me back. And what I think I hear you saying and what my experience was is that it shifted me from the place of disempowerment, which was blame, finger pointing, judgment to a recognition of not that there isn't potentially wrong if you believe in such a thing on multiple sides, but it showed me where I was complicit in creating that outcome, where I was then empowered to shift my behavior to alter the outcomes in the way I desired. And from that place of empowerment, the stress, the anxiety, the fear, the recursive thoughts were diminished. That was my experience. You've taught this to, I mean, this is probably not a number high enough at this point, certainly indirectly, but even directly.
Speaker 1:It's remarkable what you do. What are some of the outcomes that you see people have from applying the work that our audience might expect if they were willing to try it?
Speaker 2:It's so powerful on anyone stuck in trauma to do this work. It's powerful for all of us, but oh boy, working with people with trauma, it's nothing short of like a miracle watching what And I'm not doing it. Their answers to the questions are setting them free from that trauma and it's not done in one dose. That's why I call it the work. Okay, I worked with a man today, just, oh, it was darling.
Speaker 2:When he was four years old, his father promised that he would come at a certain time and take him out for this great day. And we did a worksheet on his father didn't show up, his father lied to him. And no, his father said he would probably be able to make it. The little four year old him as a four year old heard that, but he just it got into his head it was a promise. And his father came late, and he has held a grudge all these years and his mind has made an enemy of a father not to be trusted.
Speaker 2:And by the time he has questioned his thoughts about his father as that four year old, his whole life freed up. He could see his father in that fourth question, he could see his father as no matter what the tantrum was, his father was standing there with two big bags of gifts, smiling and just focused on his little four year old with all this joy and his father worked night shift for heaven's sakes and was exhausted and showed up anyway, as it turned out. Anyway, it broke through because he always treated his father all his life with disrespect. It was so powerful, and I don't know how your listeners or viewers are hearing this, but the beautiful thing about it is he did that worksheet and now he knows how to do worksheet, and I don't know how many people were on that call this morning, but they all understand how to do it too, not that they will, but they can see the impossible. There is a way to set ourselves free, which is to say, to understand this world beyond the ego, and this world is a gift to my mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So what I hear in that is healing relationships with others, healing relationship to self, finding more joy, peace, equanimity, layering in my experience, less stress, less anxiety.
Speaker 2:In everything we do, we can campaign, we're fearless. Out of a whole other sense of it's just the right thing to do if we believe in a cause.
Speaker 1:That's it, empowerment. Like true empowerment in leadership is the ultimate downstream is what I hear. And I in my experience, that's that's true. Mhmm. Okay.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna ask you a question now that you might not actually have an answer for, and that's okay if you don't. I think you were, what, times, like, spiritual person of the millennia or something. So this might be out of your wheelhouse, but my nerd brain wants to understand mechanisms of action. How is this working in our brain? What's actually happening that's helping us shift, rewire, and change our perspective?
Speaker 1:Like, I do these questions. I sit down with a worksheet, and I have the result. I get it. It works. Something shifts in my life.
Speaker 1:But what's happening in my brain that's allowing that shift to happen?
Speaker 2:I'll say a word and then I invite you and your viewers or listeners not to put an image with the word, just no picture whatsoever. Okay? Banana. You saw an image.
Speaker 1:Of course.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that's ego. It's a word image. It's like a fusion thing. It's life, apparent life, but it's imagined. Now that's not a banana, now I'll give you another one.
Speaker 2:Okay, so imagine biting into a big, juicy, ripe lemon.
Speaker 1:I was trying a different strategy. I tried to stare at the flowers over your shoulder and keep those in my head, and even before you said the word, I was rifling through fruits. And
Speaker 2:so this time not only did you see the image and you biting into you an image, biting into that lemon image, but you felt the physical. That is the power up against and that's why people refer to it as an illusion, it's in our mind. But then if we eat, if we truly bite into a lemon, we don't even know what that is if we haven't been told and believed it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's interesting. So what that reminds me of is two things unrelated, but this is how my brain works. On one hand, I've heard it said, and I wish I could remember the attribution, but 99% of the suffering we will experience in our lives is not real. It's reliving something that happened in the past that we can't change or projecting suffering into the future that has not yet occurred.
Speaker 2:Yes. And that is the experience there is fear.
Speaker 1:Yes. The other thing, which is I love to cook. Right? So Top Chef is like one of my favorite shows, and they do very famously the blind test. And these are the most accomplished chefs in the world who get selected for the show, and they give them 30 different ingredients.
Speaker 1:They can smell it. They can touch it. They can taste it, but they can't see it. And the people that win get about 60 or 70%, so I think it's a great example of what you're talking Yeah,
Speaker 2:good one.
Speaker 1:So what does that dichotomy tell us about our brain?
Speaker 2:Well, that is the trance, and that was not a lemon, that was not a banana, that was a trance. And the moment we believe it, then we see it. But until we believe it, we cannot see it. And that is the mechanism of the brain. We call it brain, but it is pure imagination.
Speaker 1:Got it. Yeah. So when I'm in a fictitious fantasy future struggle with my city manager, let's say, living in the suffering of that illusion, then I ask the questions by applying the work, and it breaks that illusion. It brings me back to present moment reality where I'm not suffering and gives me insight into where I am empowered to do something about my fear.
Speaker 2:Is that it? And also it can show you areas where you're on the same page and he's lightening your load.
Speaker 1:Yeah, beautiful.
Speaker 2:That person would become your teacher. It's like, you know, what I really, really appreciate about you is this, this, this and this. And when you said this, I need a little clarity on that. I might be missing something, we seem to be separate on it and it could be me that's off. So, I mean, discussions, collaboration, unity, let's say I'm in that situation, I may discover that I prefer that candidate in city office, then I would be the supporter of that candidate.
Speaker 2:The whole thing can switch on me. It's the gratitude that I'd experienced. He spared me from running for office. There's so many things possible in that kind of collaboration and appreciation and understanding.
Speaker 1:Yes. There's a quote that I've heard attributed to you, and I hope that I am not apocryphally spreading it around the coaching world, but it is, every time we fight reality, we lose.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Well, I say, you know, anytime you're at war with reality, you lose with only 100% of the time.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to update that. And now I know I've got attribution. But it's true. We can only work with what is. And if we want to be empowered leaders, it's our responsibility to recognize the ground truth level and act from there responsibly and collaboratively.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And, you know, if I win that election, I win. If I lose that election, I win. Totally. Because I'm freed up to help.
Speaker 1:I mean, I am on this journey with you right now for that exact reason, And that has become my truth.
Speaker 2:That would be you. Yep.
Speaker 1:I wanna start to talk a little bit about application. And one of the things that I see as a human, as a coach, and in both of our experiences, actually, there was a large portion of my life where I was not ready to even consider the work, open your book. I thought I had it dialed. Ironically, I was in all of those adversarial ego driven behaviors that were holding me and others back. You had a number of years before this opening experience.
Speaker 1:How do you think about finding the moment? Right? Like, how do people find the work, open themselves to it? Should they even think about that? Should they let it come to them?
Speaker 1:How do we deal with the reality that a lot of us just aren't ready for this?
Speaker 2:Ask it differently the same thing.
Speaker 1:Okay. I'll ask it the way that I think people will ask me as a as a coach. They'll say something like, Barb in my office really needs to learn this. They they're they have a problem, but Barb is not aware that they need this or anything else. What does one do about that?
Speaker 2:Oh, I hear from you that Barb has a problem. That's all I do about it. And I might say, you know, what helped me is self inquiry. And if that's of interest to you, then you can find it on and then you give them this website that offers the work.
Speaker 1:If I am the one that thinks that Barb has a problem, advice would either be to say nothing and let Barb find it on their own, or to simply say from a place of service, hey, Barb, I found something that was super helpful to me. If you're interested in knowing about it, I'd love to share it.
Speaker 2:Oh, absolutely. That's very powerful. I was hearing you as someone else telling me Barb had a problem.
Speaker 1:I was. I was mirroring, but now I'm putting myself in those shoes now on that person. Confusing over here.
Speaker 2:In the first example, what I heard was you're just telling me that Barb had a problem. You didn't ask me would I help her or you didn't ask me how can I, meaning you help her? You were just telling me Barb has a problem.
Speaker 1:Yes. So first your work would be to question your own view. And then second would be to offer from a place of service. What if you were running, you know, Byron Katie Incorporated, and you've got 50 employees. Do you make people do the work?
Speaker 1:How do you with the desire to spread conscious thought and improve people's experience, how do you consciously encourage people to do so or not?
Speaker 2:My first response is, I don't have that desire. It's by invitation. And that's like knocking on a door and they say, Go away, or knocking on a door and they politely ask you in. But when someone invites you in, then that's what it takes for me to continue. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And in my experience, although mine wasn't actually direct, I had an intuitional moment of knowing it was my time to look inward effectively. And I did that through books, so I got it not directly, but what I see most helpful is just modeling the new behavior. People see this shift to you and they want some of that.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Oh, I'm just something beautiful. That's what I see in you, Skippy.
Speaker 1:Oh, well thank
Speaker 2:Yeah, I I'm not alone in that.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you for that. That was very, very sweet. And there's a legion of other RIDE members and clients who are doing their work, this is really about them and the community. But thank you. I I received that, and I appreciate it.
Speaker 1:So let's say you are a person who has viewed someone else in your office, they've had a shift, and they tell you about this thing called the work, and you download the worksheet. Maybe you maybe you even watch one of the free online webinars that you do every week, I believe.
Speaker 2:Three times a week.
Speaker 1:Three times a week. Jeez.
Speaker 2:My gosh. Or the community of the world three times a week.
Speaker 1:So we'll link to all of that. But so now you sit down. You're you're by yourself. You've got a worksheet. And I've seen this happen with a lot of folks.
Speaker 1:You you look at it. You can kinda get through the initial part of creating your statement. How do I feel, how do I respond, and then you get to the turnarounds, and your brain turns to mush and you have difficulty. How do you coach people through You
Speaker 2:could experience a lot of guilt and shame too just turning them around. The work is to question the thoughts on the worksheet and then turn them around. Otherwise, because you're anchored in a situation like, He doesn't care about me. You probably saw an image of Him that you've never met not caring about me and in some time and place, even if we're the ethers, whatever, but he doesn't care about me, I would anchor in that situation and I would question that. Is there something wrong with you with that attitude and I'm so hurt?
Speaker 2:And then I would move that to paper where it's and the ego can't shift it around or change it, so there it is. And he doesn't care about, There's something wrong with me, is it true? And in that situation, Is it true there's something wrong with me? Now I'm going to get still in that, I'm going to meditate in that time and place. Yes.
Speaker 2:I can say I'm out of control, something wrong with me. I'm judging, my arms are flailing, I'm defending. And see, that's not forever there's something wrong with me, it's in that situation we anchor. And then notice how I react when I think the thought, He said, There's something wrong with me.
Speaker 3:So
Speaker 2:now I don't ever have to guess at the answers, I am anchored in that time and place with that human being. You know, how do I react when I think the thought, He said, There's something wrong with me. I strike back, I give him the look, I cry, I blame him, and then I see my body language, I get in touch with the emotional, my shoulders. This is all in response to meditating in. How do I react in that situation?
Speaker 2:How do I react when I believe the thought? And I can see images of the past, or I cannot experience those emotions. I see the past where maybe my mother just gave me the look and I believed something was wrong with me, or the kids at school are choosing teams, they didn't call on me, there's something wrong with me, I gained weight, other people, there's something wrong with me. I mean, all those images of the past come and then the future. This is ego's work, all those images of the not now, not now past.
Speaker 2:And then how do I react when I believe the thought, There's something wrong with me? I see images of the future where I'm not ever going to measure up, etcetera, etcetera. So, we're meditating in, getting still in, He said, There's something wrong with me. Then the last question, Who would I be without the thought when he said, There's something wrong with me? And then now I'm getting still, I'm dropping those images of past and future.
Speaker 2:They may still be there, but I'm just dropping them, getting, just becoming present, as we say, in the now. Now I can see his concern, and I can see, who would I be without the thought, mindful, listening, present, and then when I turn it around, he said, There's something wrong with me. I said, There's something wrong with me. That's an opposite.
Speaker 1:So just to kind of recap, because what I'm hearing you say, and I'm also doing my homework as a facilitator in the next couple hours, really taking the time to get still, to come into the embodied experience, to touch in with not just the cognitive, but the somatic and with the physical and really allowing yourself to fully get into the experience and then putting that on paper to ground it.
Speaker 2:Exactly, because the images and the belief are that's what makes up identity.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2:So describing identity is owned and in that it drops. This is the love affair. This is the love of fear with the self.
Speaker 1:Yes. Now you switch to the turnarounds. Is there a correct or incorrect way to do a turnaround?
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, it's also a state of meditation, you know. In that situation, he said, Something's wrong with me, turned around, There's something wrong with him. And I'm going to just I see where, No, he was right. There was something wrong with me. I was out of control.
Speaker 2:There's something right in him. There's something wrong with me. And I can begin to own my part because I've seen him react when I believe the So, I can go back and make that right. I can admit like, Wow, you know, you really had me pegged, there was something wrong with me. The things that I said and did, and I want to do more from you.
Speaker 2:I see you as someone that sees me more closely than I can see myself, and I really appreciate you.
Speaker 1:And if someone gets stuck on a turnaround, you know, they they write it down and then they're just drawing a blank. What do you do with that? Do you have an example? Sure. Let me anonymize it from a client.
Speaker 1:But the statement was, I am sad with another person because they are not putting energy into our relationship. And so if this person now is just like sitting there going, I don't know. I can't think of anything. How do you help jump start the car?
Speaker 2:That person is putting energy into the relationship. Okay, let me try that on. They're happy. They're happy. That's energy in the relationship.
Speaker 2:And then I would be there in the situation to see if there are any other turnarounds. And then one would be, I'm not putting energy into the relationship. Well, yes, I was. Yes, I was. Okay, ego, thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2:Just meditate in that turnaround. I'm not putting energy into the relationship. Okay, now I'm noticing the energy I was putting into it, ah, was not as healthy as I'd like it to be.
Speaker 1:So I'm hearing like, giving space and time, trying things that you might not initially think of as true, maybe offering some examples, but just allowing yourself to really get creative and trusting that and following that.
Speaker 2:Pondering in that situation, like he's unhappy turned around, I'm unhappy in that situation. And then I can see he was unhappy and I'm trying to happy him up and change his mind and duh duh duh duh and he's not going for it. I see that turnaround, I'm unhappy. Yeah, when he is just not getting that he should be in a better mood and I'm trying so hard, I'm unhappy, which tells me a lot about myself, Skippy.
Speaker 1:Yes. I think that's a beautiful place to kind of wrap a bow around process and thank you for my training. It is just a remarkable honor to have you here with us to share your experience, your wisdom. I I just couldn't couldn't be more grateful. And I want us to start to land the plane, and we always finish the show with the the same question for everyone.
Speaker 1:And it's in recognition of the fact that our audience are not passive observers, you know, as as Teddy Roosevelt or now Brene Brown might say, these are the people in the arena. And so if you were to leave them with just one thing, one thought, one practice, and we might know where we're going, one quote, one anything that would best resource them to be a personal vector for healing our politics? What do you think that would be?
Speaker 2:To judge your neighbor, and that could be anyone in your family, anyone, anywhere, worlds apart even, to judge your neighbor, write it down, ask for questions, and turn it around.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. Oh, I do have one I'm gonna break my rule because I have so many Byron Katie books around here, and there's a lot to choose from. If you if someone was interested in starting, what book would you start them with and why?
Speaker 2:Loving What Is.
Speaker 1:Loving What Is. Okay. Where do people find you, your work, sign up for courses, hire you, all the things, bring you into the organization, where can people find you?
Speaker 2:Oh, thework.com or ByronKatie.com.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. Anything else we haven't touched on that would be of value to you?
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, your good work. Yeah, that would be
Speaker 1:of great value to me. You. Thank you. Absolute pleasure. And now, a quick break from our sponsors and we'll be right back to the show.
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Speaker 1:Use code hashtag political healer by going to www.electedleaderscollective.com and starting today. That's www.electedleaderscollective.com. And starting today. Matt Plard, welcome to the Healing Hour Politics Podcast. It is truly a pleasure to have you here and to get to see you again.
Speaker 1:It's been a minute.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, you too. It's such an honor to be here. I'm so grateful for the invitation.
Speaker 1:I appreciate that. We got to know each other quickly at the YEO or Young Elected Officials Conference in DC. And I met, as I always do at those conferences, so many remarkable young leaders. Some of us are not so young anymore. It's me.
Speaker 1:But you really stood out to me truly for the kindness and grace that you bring in your affect, but also the open mindedness that you brought into our session, your ability to consider not just your needs, wants, and priorities, but those of others. And that's not something that's common amongst folks earlier on in their leadership journey. I just wanted to start by honoring that in you because it was a really standout thing that I saw.
Speaker 3:I appreciate you for that. It's tough to be a young person doing this, right? You know, there's a lot of feelings that come up and it's tough to navigate that, but I've been really privileged to have a phenomenal support system that's given me a lot of tools. And I'm so glad that you are now part of that support system because you have given me so many great tools, and I'm I'm just happy to contribute in return. So thanks for all you do.
Speaker 1:Thanks for that brother. And you are going to be passing along that karmic debt today because we're doing something really fun that we haven't done before. Byron Katie. Typically when Katie goes on to podcasts, she does the work. She actually goes through the process.
Speaker 1:But it felt to me really important for her to break down where it came from, how to facilitate it so that other leaders listening to this can not just use it for themselves, but for their teams, and to get more of the why. But I didn't want to lose the magic of, well, what does this really look like in public service? And so you have so graciously been open to coming on and being our guinea pig and doing the work on the episode. And so I'm really excited to do that with you.
Speaker 3:Sounds like fun. Let's do it. Okay.
Speaker 1:I do want to just to give people some context, would you be willing to share a little bit about your service journey? Just give us a little snippet.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely. So I am privileged to represent my hometown in our town council, which I was elected to just this past November, as one of the youngest ever elected officials in my in my town's history. I've grown up here my whole life. My dad's grown up here my whole life. It's all I've ever known.
Speaker 3:And it's the community that has raised me and loved me in my most difficult moments and loved my family in our time of need. And I've always wanted to get back to it. So in high school, started out with a lot of young people across the country advocating for gun violence reform, gun safety laws in the aftermath of the Parkland shooting. And that kind of started my journey as an organizer. And I went on to do a lot of organizing work around the climate crisis and what we need to do to protect folks that are vulnerable to the effects of climate, particularly low income people and folks of color in the state of Connecticut and across the country.
Speaker 3:And, when it was time to answer the call and be a part of helping the neighbors that have given so much to me, give back to them a little bit, I answered and, now I'm a city councilor.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. And not to bury the lead, but what is this community you speak of?
Speaker 3:Sure, sure. I'm sorry, I didn't even mention it's Newington, Connecticut. It's home to about 30,000 wonderful, beloved human beings.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. And what has been the highlight of your time in office so far?
Speaker 3:I mean, there's been so many already. We passed, on a unanimous bipartisan basis, one of, I think, the most transformative but yet common sense budgets in our town's history. After a lot of disinvestment for a long time, we, gave our education system and our schools the largest increase in twenty years. We gave our human services department, which had been really struggling post COVID, the largest increase in a decade. And, we did all of that while being mindful of of the cost of living that's already so high for so many folks.
Speaker 3:So I'm really, really proud of that and it goes to show I'm a real nerd, so I went to the budget. Well,
Speaker 1:bipartisan, common sense and transformative is the secret sauce, the trifecta that we look to empower on this show.
Speaker 3:Appreciate That's truth. Oh, I'm so glad. That's great.
Speaker 1:Now what is the if we're being really honest, what's been the biggest frustration or thing that's kept you up at night?
Speaker 3:Primarily, it's been two things that have worked in tandem. The first one has been my age. I'm young. I'll turn 23 on Saturday.
Speaker 1:Wow. And Happy almost birthday.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Thank you. And that means that there are a lot of assumptions that folks will bring into our conversations before I even say a word about how my age will inform my, ideas, my intelligence, my work ethic. And, that can be hard. That can be really hard to surmount.
Speaker 3:And it's been very frustrating, to hear that from folks in all parts of this, whether they're folks that I'm meeting for the first time or even friends and neighbors that are a little weary of what that looks like and how that impacts me and how that impacts the community to have someone so young, do this work. So that's been tough. And as a part of that, it's also just been the pace of change. Things move slowly. Local government moves very slowly.
Speaker 3:And local government is where things are supposed to actually get done. And sometimes what that means is that we work to get things done and the process moves at a glacial pace, you know, at different levels of government. Maybe we don't have to have that same responsibility always. So we, you know, the process can be truncated. Here it is as drawn out, exhaustive, constructive, productive nonetheless, but analysis heavy as it is anywhere else.
Speaker 3:And sometimes that can be frustrating when you know that issues are having an immediate impact on folks' lives, whether they're homelessness or food insecurity or, you know, a whole range of things, help for our seniors. It's it's really tough. So that's that keeps
Speaker 1:me up. I hear that. What would you say are if you were to pick the top two beliefs that others come into a new meeting or conversation with you that they hold true or not true, what do you think those are? What's your story about that?
Speaker 3:I think the first one is that I'm lazy, I must be because I'm so young and I haven't lived and I haven't had the burden of having to work hard and all of which is, you know, just not true. A lot
Speaker 1:of lazy young people running for office.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's right. You know, I mean, come on. You know, give me a little credit here. But that you're right. I mean, you know, even then there's an assumption that there's a certain privilege there Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And a certain arrogance. Mhmm. You know, I I I find that I can dash that assumption pretty quickly, but it's still a burden, an extra burden that I have that maybe my other colleagues don't, and that can be difficult.
Speaker 1:Now if you're really honest, do you ever have moments privately where you have those same fears about yourself. I'm lazy. I'm not doing enough.
Speaker 3:Yeah. All the time. All the time. You know, mean there's always a point in the week when you feel you've given all you could. And then you wonder in the five minutes after you have that first thought, is that really all I could give?
Speaker 3:And that's that's a struggle. And when you're this young and you're working on these things, you're also thinking about at the same time all the other things that a 22, 20 three year old is thinking about. You're thinking about how you're gonna pay off your student I've got a hell of a lot of those I gotta pay You're thinking about how you're gonna maintain your relationships with your friends that are moving far away and that are off on their own adventures. You're thinking about the cost of living. You're thinking about family and how you're showing up for your family at this very tumultuous point in your life.
Speaker 3:And, you know, we all have those things that we have to think about too. And, sometimes the added, pressure of, of, giving, you know, an inhuman amount can creep in. But we're only human, you know? And the people I serve are only human.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And
Speaker 3:we'd all be in the same position even if we tried to do Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love that you own that and recognize that because there's a future scenario where we're working together because I just have a hunch that some point we will be doing that. But really, like it's such a beautiful thing to notice what your frustrations are because they're generally a mirror for what's going on internally. And the truth is in applying the inner work going in and clearing that fear of laziness or not doing enough from yourself, all of a sudden the incoming, it's like the matrix, like the bullets stop mid air and they just fall. When you no longer hold the belief of inadequacy, then the incoming perceived judgment also stops, and it so frees you to be more empowered in your work. The examples I would give is like if you called someone who had an insecurity about wealth, poor, they may be really offended, it could take them out of the game.
Speaker 1:Promise you, you call Bill Gates poor, he doesn't care. You called Dwayne The Rock Johnson weak, it's really not going to bother him much. So, like, it's amazing how we can use that, like, incoming thing to do our own work, to free ourselves of the base condition, and so I just love that you are owning that because it's a great example, and the work is one way that we become aware of those things. I think that's a beautiful bridge. And what we're going do today is called the Judge Your Neighbour Worksheet.
Speaker 1:This is something that is available, it'll be in the show notes, but Byron Katie's website has this as well. We will also be putting this into our monthly newsletter, The Leader's Handbook. If you are not a member of that, it's free forever. So I'm going to relinquish my coaching ness from this. I'm going to take my own training out of this, and I'm really going to go off of the worksheet, but just invite you to get deeper into this process so that the listener, hey guys and gals and others, can hear how this gets applied and what comes out.
Speaker 1:Then maybe on the back end we'll layer in a little bit of coachiness to do something with it. We'll see how that goes. But we'll just try to stick to the script so that others can copy and paste. Does that sound good to you?
Speaker 3:That sounds wonderful. Let's do it.
Speaker 1:All right. So we're going to start by thinking of a stressful situation with somebody related to your counsel role. This could be an argument, it could be a frustration, a personality conflict. And then we are going to meditate on that specific time and place to begin to feel what it's like, to fill in the blanks. So is there a situation that is present and salient for you that you want to work with, and you can share whatever you want?
Speaker 1:This will be specific and real, but you're also very welcome not to use the person's name and just kind of tell us the relationship. They're on staff, they're a colleague, etcetera.
Speaker 3:Sure, sure. Yeah. So there is one. And it has to do with a good friend of mine, a neighbor, you know, I'll just use just kind of generally, they're, you know, someone who's a part of my community, who goes online and just trolls and trolls and trolls and I think contributes to a really toxic environment in our politics and the way that we talk to each other and show up for each other. And it's just so uncharacteristic of this person.
Speaker 3:It's tough for me to, you know, know always how to approach that.
Speaker 1:Their real life persona or the interactions that you have do not mirror their online actions.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. That's true. And I think they're not the only ones who are guilty of it while on maybe sometimes, but they get caught up, you know, in the rancor that's online. And hesitate to even call it debate because I don't even think it deserves the word.
Speaker 3:It's just terrible, awful, divisive, partisan nonsense. And it's tough.
Speaker 1:Could you give a example? We've all heard the word trolling, but maybe not everyone knows exactly what it is. Could you give an example of of the trolling behavior, maybe a specific post or like a situation and yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I mean, so let me think. Right now, we are in the midst of discussing as a town an issue that we've discussed for a long time, but that's finally gonna get on the ballot for the voters to make a decision about this November. And that is a question about an aquatics facility here in the town of Newington. And, it's a highly divisive topic.
Speaker 3:All of us kind of recognize that it is, and it's one that has really strong feelings on either side, and that has a lot of history associated with those really strong feelings. And sometimes the comments on some of these posts about this project can assume the worst intentions of people and assume that they, you know, are anti progress that they are seeking to destroy the community or, you know, it's just very inflammatory language about something that really at the end of the day, we could have a very fact based, evidence based back and forth about that could actually be pretty fairly productive and constructive. And I don't think that's something we should shy away from. Instead, we supplant it with this kind of really base, nasty, toxic debate, which I don't think is helpful. So
Speaker 1:this neighbor has a strong opinion about the aquatic center, and maybe in person they're not bombastic, but online they go on and they're attacking the character and the intentions of everyone on the other side in extreme terms, which heatens the debate and keeps people from having a rational conversation, which ultimately keeps the aquatic center happening or not from finding its optimum form. Is that a fair summary?
Speaker 3:I think that is a fair summary. And, you know, I mean, not to mention, I think the reason it's taken so long to get us here to the point where we're gonna be able to vote on this this November is because in part of this debate, because of this really toxic environment that made this difficult to talk about for our community, and it shouldn't be. So
Speaker 1:And we probably all know some version of this. I mean, ours that's reemerged again is the entrance to Aspen. Do we replace the bridge? Do we go from two lanes to four lanes? Do we add mass transit?
Speaker 1:I believe it is 36 public votes that have taken place over, like, four decades, and they're considering another one. I get to say them now since I am no longer in that seat. It's like, dear god. And, the knives are always out. So I think we all kind of know this in our own way.
Speaker 3:That's right. Local can be tough, man. It's unforgiving sometimes. It is.
Speaker 1:And it's so human. It's so personal that it can come home with Okay. So in this situation, we're gonna put this into a statement now. In this situation, who angers, hurts, confuses, saddens, or disappoints you and why? And we'll put it in the format of I am blank, blank is the emotion, so angry, pissed off, whatever, with, and we'll say, the neighbor, or the community member because and then why you're angry with them.
Speaker 3:So I'm disappointed in my neighbor because I think they're contributing to a toxic environment around this issue that is not actually advancing it, but is harming the way that we talk to each other in the community.
Speaker 1:So in this situation, how do you want your neighbor to change? What do you want them to do?
Speaker 3:So I want my neighbor to assume the best in our other neighbors and to think for a moment that they may gain something from the debate that can happen there, a constructive debate that can happen there. I think I want my neighbor to show others the same respect that they want in return. What is that? The golden rule? You know, it seems kind of basic, but I think that kind of gets to the heart of it.
Speaker 3:Even when they think that other person doesn't necessarily deserve the respect, just know that, you know, that that's that's our North Star, that we've got to show up for one another, and that starts with building bridges and it starts with turning down the temperature a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Beautiful. And in this situation, what advice do you want to offer your neighbor? This is like a they should or they shouldn't statements and you can list as many as you have.
Speaker 3:One thing that we can all do and that they should do is to take sixty seconds before they comment that nasty thing and just take a breath or two, maybe three, and think about before they post whether or not that actually contributes or detracts from the discussion in a meaningful way, in a helpful way, in a way that, you know, might actually bridge divides and bring people together and advance their perspective on the issue. I think they should be more careful with the words that they use. And I just want to be clear also, just, just say this that, you know, this this is on in this specific scenario, this is on like literally both sides of this. It's really quite awful. I mean, it's just how terrible that we can't talk to each other in a way that's constructive, whether we agree with one thing or we disagree with it.
Speaker 3:It's on both sides of this. And I could apply it to two different neighbors in my head. In fact, I'm thinking of two who are on opposite sides of this, who I give the same advice. So, yeah, I'd be more careful with language, precision of language, be more conscious of how our actions and our words might impact people, how it may make them pull back from the process and never want to contribute again, which is bad for all of us. I think they shouldn't be quick to judgment or quick to anger or quick to assume someone's intentions, of going back to the first one.
Speaker 3:But they should be curious. They should be curious about why someone believes what they do and try to engage in that. And again, maybe consider that they may gain something from that.
Speaker 1:I was reminded, I think it was one of the first things. I don't know if it was my dad or not, but when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. And it's so true.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's so hard not to do That's good.
Speaker 3:I live by it. It's so important. I mean, it is hard to do. And nowadays, especially, you know, there's folks even at the top telling us we've got to assume to make things easy, to make things digestible. We have to assume that this is one and this is two and one and two cannot be three.
Speaker 3:And That's right. You know, and that's easy. It's easy to do that. It's much harder to not assume and to pull back and think for a second, you know, I may not have it all worked out.
Speaker 1:Mhmm. And we are leaders. We didn't get into this to follow what someone tells us to do, to keep things the same, to be in the status quo, and we like doing the hard thing. That's why we're here. If we wanna do the easy thing, we wouldn't be in these roles.
Speaker 1:So let's finish that step. Amen. Alright. So for an order for you to be happy you to be happy in this situation, what do you need your neighbor to think, say, feel, or do?
Speaker 3:I think in order for me to be happy, I need this person, these people to listen when someone suggests that their words are not helpful, to not be defensive at the idea that they may be saying something that could be harmful to our discourse. And I need this person to feel for a moment how that other person feels when they say what they do online. And I don't think it's that hard because I think many of these people have been in that position. They've been on the receiving end of this too. So I want them to think about and feel what that felt like and how difficult that was and frustrating and upsetting that was and how it maybe made them pull back for a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So now this is the fun part where you get to forget you're on a podcast at all and be as petty and judgmental and angry as you want. And it's a podcast. You can be fucking angry if you want. So what do you think of this neighbor or neighbors in this situation being as petty or judgmental as you want?
Speaker 3:I think they're ignorant, arrogant, hypocritical, hateful, harmful, cynical, cynical, deeply cynical. Just a plain asshole. I think they're just rude and mean spirited and kind of unconscious, you know, like unthinking, just like like saying things like as they come without like caution or regard for like how that impacts a person. Yeah, just hateful, awful. And they're not those these, you know, I would tend to think people are not hateful.
Speaker 3:So it just is how I feel is like confused, just confused why some would choose the path of trolling and hatred. It's so corrosive.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You just called a whole group of people assholes, and it sounded so nice.
Speaker 3:I know. It's like you
Speaker 1:did such a kind voice. It's amazing.
Speaker 3:I tend to be a little understated, but I can get in trouble with my ties.
Speaker 1:That's good. That's good. No. I hear and I have felt all of those things in the same situation. I really have.
Speaker 1:I really have. So what is it about this neighbor or situation that you don't ever want to experience again?
Speaker 3:I don't ever want to, I think, see I mean, certainly I don't want to see this discourse again, but I and this kind of, like, you know, petty nonsense again. But I think what I don't ever want to see again in particular is is just this like unconscious, unthinking, unwieldy, without direction or purpose, anger, just visceral anger about the world or about your quote unquote opposition. You know, I just I don't ever want to see that again because I think it's it's just so so harmful to everything that we care about, that whether we believe one thing or another, whether we're on one side of an issue or another, it's just it's just harmful. And it and it it destroys our sense of place, our sense of community. It destroys our neighborhoods.
Speaker 3:Just an awful thing for for it makes an ass out of you and me, I think is the way to sum it up. It's true.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Okay. So we got a real clear sense of what's going on. I'm gonna invite you for this next kind of line of questioning, the four questions, to close the eyes and to take a moment to put yourself back in the experience. Could be a specific one or a composite of reading one of these comments that really triggered these feelings of anger in you, these feelings of judgment of their ignorance, etcetera.
Speaker 1:And I'll invite you to visualize that situation and drop into it and allow those emotions to come back into your body. Allow yourself to feel what you felt at that time to let the anger course through. To notice somatically what's happening in your body. Is there pressure, temperature, density, tightness? Just noticing it all.
Speaker 1:And from this place I'm going to read back to you your initial statement which is I'm disappointed in my neighbor because they are contributing to a toxic environment about this issue and harming our community. The first question is a simple yesno question. Is that statement true?
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Follow-up question: Can you absolutely know without any shadow of a doubt in any situation that that statement is true?
Speaker 3:No. And I think the reason is because this person doesn't think that their contributions are harmful. In fact, they think whether they're on one side of the issue or the other that they're speaking for something that is actually beneficial to our community.
Speaker 1:So no, you can't absolutely know.
Speaker 3:And I invite you to stay in it.
Speaker 1:Stay with it. And I'm asking you to stay with it because as you said, you really want to be present in this moment and get the lesson out of it. And when we open the eyes and go back into rational storytelling, we come entirely back up into the head, which is where we tend to live. We close the eyes and drop into the experience, then we get the benefit of the intellect as well as the somatic, body and emotional knowledge bases. And so we're just going to stay in all of that.
Speaker 1:So when you believe this thought is true, that they are contributing to toxicity and harming the community, How do you react to that?
Speaker 3:I react angrily. I'm upset. I feel tense, a certain tension. I'm aggravated. I feel like there's a missed opportunity.
Speaker 3:Like the damage is kind of done. Yeah. Just upset.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Internal anger going on. Do your behaviors change at all? Do you lose sleep? Do you grab a piece of pizza instead of a salad?
Speaker 1:Do you get short with a partner or loved one?
Speaker 3:I will. I definitely grab a pizza instead of a salad. That's the perfect. But yeah, I do. I get irritable.
Speaker 3:The divisiveness kind of rubs off and let the frustration fester for a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And how does your leadership shift, even if only for a moment, when you believe that thought is true?
Speaker 3:I think I when I see that happening, I revert to kind of a sense of failure because I feel like that's a, you know, big motivator of mine is like kind of deconstructing this toxic environment. So yeah, I go back to a sense of like defensiveness and I feel like I kind of look back on the previous months and wonder about missteps. I mean, do that anyway, but I I do it that much more so in kind of an interpersonal way. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So you're angry, you're frustrated, you're short, you are less healthy or conscious, you start to embody some of these things that you judge and you retract away from some of the reasons why you've showed up. Is that a fair Yeah.
Speaker 3:Think that's right.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. So now who would you be without that thought? If you could truly let it free, who or how would you be different?
Speaker 3:I think I would be a little more understanding, give a little more grace and just allow myself to be a little more open to understand why some people may react in a way that I think is objectionable. Yeah, I think I'd be a little more open to that rather than just allowing that first reaction to kind of dictate the rest.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. So we're now going to move into what are called turnarounds. And so you are going to create four reconstructions of the initial statement, which are opposites in some way. They can be opposites in any way you want, you can flip them around. I will reread the statement again and then you'll come up with an opposite.
Speaker 1:And then I'll work you through the process for each one. We'll do one at a time. So the initial statement is I'm disappointed in my neighbor because they are contributing to a toxic environment around this issue and harming our community. What would be a first turnaround?
Speaker 3:I am disappointed in myself for contributing to a toxic environment and harming the discourse, harming the community in the process.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Really powerful one. And how might, doesn't mean it is, but how could that be true or truer than the initial statement?
Speaker 3:Yeah I think when you have such a clear sense of what in this issue dictates objectionable behavior and what doesn't, you kind of lose sight that like maybe that compass for you is could be kind of off. Maybe you maybe you're wrong. And, you know, maybe you too have some kind of objectionable contributions to the discourse.
Speaker 1:And, Matt, you're you're nailing it. And I'm just gonna invite you just for to get the full benefit of the experience to stay in ownership language. So I rather than you.
Speaker 3:So I yeah. I feel like I sometimes lose sight that that compass might be off, that I may be contributing in some way that's harmful without actually recognizing it myself. And I don't necessarily maybe hold myself accountable in the way that I hold others to account for those potentially harmful or potentially objectionable contributions.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. Brilliant. What else? How else might that be true?
Speaker 3:You know, I I'm repeatedly disappointed in myself for feeling like I could have done more. Like I could point the ship of the discourse in a different direction more, you know, and sometimes it's even just a word or two, you know, that I try to be mindful of removing from my vernacular, and I slip and I say it, and I that's very disappointing for me. I'm very disappointed in myself in those moments. So that is certainly true.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Any other ways that you might be disappointed in yourself for contributing to the toxicity around this issue and harm in your community?
Speaker 3:I'm disappointed sometimes in even the, like, the walls that I can put up, you know, similar to what I first said, but without even saying anything sometimes, just the fact that I I am an elected official, you know, and I identify with one party and and one sense of the world and ideas around it can kind of beat a wall in its own right. And I don't always give credit to how valid that is and legitimate it is that like, some will see that and say, you know, that's for me. So I I think I let myself down a little bit sometimes by not fully seeing that.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. Beautiful. Does that feel complete on that turnaround?
Speaker 3:Yeah. It does.
Speaker 1:What would be another turnaround?
Speaker 3:I think I'm I'm I mean, I'm I'm proud of my neighbor for contributing to a productive, environment and benefiting the community. That's that's one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a great one. How could that be true?
Speaker 3:I I mean, I think it's true every day. I will see the same people talk about how privileged we are to live in the community that we do and what, blessing it is to have the great schools that we do and, you know, the great fire department that we do and things like that. And that's, is certainly true. They say that as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah. How else might that be true? So that's a real that is a real truth. They're doing that. How else might it be true?
Speaker 3:You know, I think it goes back before to a little bit about the rigid compass and how rigid it necessarily needs to be, you know, that this person, even in their most pointed moments online or in the discourse, so to speak, might still be contributing something that's actually really beneficial, might be putting amidst the tirade a piece of information, a fact that others didn't know, and that's actually really important for them to know. And that's that benefits our community. That doesn't harm it. That's that's actually really important. And that could definitely be true too.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Would it be okay with you if I just put in one just for the sake of inspiring others to think outside the box to see how the process works? And I have no idea what side this person to persons is on. I know nothing about this issue. This is purely hypothetical.
Speaker 1:But let's just assume that this neighbor is on the anti aquatic side. And it turns out that had the aquatic center been built, it would have been would have been construction defects and ongoing litigation. It wouldn't have opened for five years. It drains the coffers of the community. It takes funds out of that schooling system you all love, it becomes a greater point of contention for having even been built, and thanks to their bombastic online comments, it doesn't get built, and they save the community all this possible turmoil.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, that's a tough pill to swallow. It could certainly it could certainly be the truth. I mean, you know, it could certainly be the case that, you know, I think in anything we're we're going to identify pieces of this that the other doesn't. And, that could certainly be the case. You know, that kind of oversight and accountability and, skepticism, healthy skepticism can actually be very, very, very beneficial.
Speaker 1:And I share that, for, again, knowing nothing about it, having no position. We don't do any policy on the show. But simply to give an example of what this exercise is about is like really stretching beyond what you think or believe is true to what's possible to expand your observation of the situation for your own benefit and ultimately for the benefit of what you're working towards. Thank you for letting
Speaker 3:me Absolutely.
Speaker 1:You. Okay. So what would be a third turnaround?
Speaker 3:I think maybe I'm disappointed in my neighbor for for not contributing to the discussion, for kind of holding back, for not being a part of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Great one. How might that be true or true?
Speaker 3:When issues come up, we all have limited bandwidth to respond. And sometimes I can find it kind of curious why we might choose to, or my neighbor in this example might choose to withhold comments, you know, intentionally or not, just choose not to weigh in. Happens all the time, you know?
Speaker 1:Yeah. How else might it be true?
Speaker 3:I think it could be true because there's, a certain feeling sometimes that others are already doing the talking. And why do I need to jump in? Why do they need to jump in? It can feel like voices are getting crowded out and that's just is what it is. And there's nothing you really benefit from being a part of it, jumping in or contributing your voice.
Speaker 3:So you just kind of withhold it.
Speaker 1:So there's more that they could be saying, but because of that, they're not and they're robbing the community of input.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I think that's right. I think that's right.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Beautiful. Anything else on this one?
Speaker 3:It's funny because, you know, we or something that I'm thinking about a lot is this is where most people fall. Right? I mean, is where the majority of folks live. They see the rancor
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And they pull back, or they see the debate and they stay out of it. There's a certain grace that you have to give to that because of all of the, you know, the whole context of the discussion we just had, it may actually be pretty, rational to jump out, given how difficult it can sometimes be and all the considerations you have to have before you jump into
Speaker 1:the Yeah. I'll share an observation of mine. I've seen this happen. From the people like the neighbor who are viscerally involved online, but they're so in their space of anger that we hear some of what they say, but actually a lot of the constructive arguments that they have never make it forward because they're blocked by the anger. So maybe this person has a lot more that they could share if they were in a different mental space.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I think that's so right. I think that's so right. We you know, there's there's kind of a knee jerk reaction that becomes the default, and there's no expansion beyond that. And that's that you're right.
Speaker 3:I mean, that robs both them of the opportunity to gain from that exchange, and it robs the community of their great ideas and what they have to contribute. And we wanna hear that too.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Beautiful. Final turnaround.
Speaker 3:I'll try to think of one.
Speaker 1:It's okay. It's great. It can be challenging and there's no right or wrong, right? Like, you know, you can perseverate over just the right turnaround. Doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Any anyone will work.
Speaker 3:I'm proud of my neighbor for contributing at all, whether it's objectionable or harmful in my view or not. They're speaking up. I'm proud of them for doing that.
Speaker 1:Right, so the turnaround would be I'm proud of my neighbor for contributing to the toxicity and harming my community and the first truth about that is at least they're trying, at least they're involved, they're doing something rather than nothing. Yeah,
Speaker 3:think that's right. I think that's right. It's, yeah, they're trying, you know, and they're contributing their voice to the process and for a million reasons that's more than a lot of people can say or do. I appreciate them for that. I appreciate that their impulse is to lean in and contribute and not to step away, even if that step away may be rational or legitimate for all the reasons we talk about.
Speaker 1:Any other closing reasons that could be true?
Speaker 3:You know, I think in our worst moments, sometimes it can be true because we like what they're saying secretly.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I'm on their side when they're doing these things. Juicy and so real. Yeah.
Speaker 3:It feels good to be angry sometimes. It feels good to dunk on someone. Right? I mean, that's like, it's a really good feeling. And, there's like something I love Toni Morrison, and she said something that I like, I think about all the time.
Speaker 3:And she was talking about white supremacy and racism in particular. And I think it applies broadly. And she kind of said the same to just generally forms of hate, which is that it's about feeling good. It's about getting something from an exchange that benefits you. And the benefit there is joy, excitement, is a thrill, you know, is in many cases power.
Speaker 3:It's feeling like I found the perfect argument to really put them in their place, you know? I mean, that's, there's a certain power there that can feel really good. And, at our worst moments, think we might see that. And our knee jerk might not be, oh, that's so toxic. It might be, yeah, I get them, you know?
Speaker 3:And that's, that's tough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've felt that before too. I'd be surprised if there's anyone who hasn't. And if so, you should also come take this job and Yes. It's part of the human experience. It is part of the human experience.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. Thank you for really going there. And so now what I want to invite you to do is just close the eyes, drop into that experience for a moment. Take maybe five rounds of breath. Just really let all that soak in and then stream of consciousness.
Speaker 1:Just share with us what's coming up for you through that exercise.
Speaker 3:I feel certain accountability, self accountability in a way that I didn't necessarily about this before. And this kind of is spoken to in, in the book and in the work that this was a them problem, not a me problem. And that the solutions then lied in them and not me. And I think I'm having a realization to a large extent that, you know, there's a lack of grace that I was giving them in some of those instances, or withholding of the benefit of the doubt. And I was making assumptions of them in those moments.
Speaker 3:And I kind of need to reflect on that more and hold myself accountable to realize that, you know, sometimes the compass doesn't point accurately. And, you know, you gotta think about why others are coming to the conclusions they are about the world and why they're making the statements they are informed by those conclusions and give space for that.
Speaker 1:So Beautiful. Beautiful. So that for the audience completes the worksheet. But of course in your life, what you're going to want to do is then take those realizations and put them into some form of action that improves your experience and the leadership that you provide for your community or organization, etcetera. And so I'm curious, Matt, how can you take that awareness out into the world in a way that stands to up level, to do the opposite, to detoxify, to reduce harm, not just for this neighbor, not just for you, but for the community?
Speaker 3:So I think I'm going to think a lot more about what polarization really is and why it's there and kind of goes back to the little bit that we discussed that a lot of it is about feeling good and that there's something happening there when we need to seek out something good. It means that we're, you know, if we're looking for something, it's just we don't have it. And so if we're looking for power or joy or excitement or, you know, a sense that we've accomplished something in an exchange, even if we're looking for it in the wrong places, we're looking for it because we don't have it. And so I think I'm going to give a lot more thought to how as a leader, I show up around polarization to kind of give folks something else to find that joy and something else to find that sense of empowerment and something else to find that sense of accomplishment in through discourse and through democracy. So I, you know, there there's a few ways I can think about doing that.
Speaker 3:You know, we do one thing, we have in our town for a few years. We do this youth forum here in Newington where we invite young people to come out and kind of share their perspectives and share their ideas. And we, you know, target it at what is often thought of as this kind of apathetic generation that doesn't want to be a part of any of it. And it's always a great success because I think we're giving alternative tools for engagement that don't need to hate other people and that don't need to harm our neighbors and that don't need to show up in ways that are maybe toxic or or harmful to our community and to ourselves. It's giving folks other ways to show up and be there for one another.
Speaker 3:So I think we'll do more of that and think about ways that we can do it, not just for young folks like me, but but, other folks across town too.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. And what would be a specific time bound achievable action that you could commit to over the next, say one or two weeks to start to move the needle in that direction?
Speaker 3:I think, the first thing is gonna be reaching out to my colleagues on the other side of the aisle and talking to them about how this issue is showing up for them among the people that, you know, their friends and family with and among the people that may share their view of the world and assumptions about the world.
Speaker 1:Beautiful.
Speaker 3:I think that kind of sit down chat investigation together could actually be really beneficial and, you know, make it so we can kind of lift all boats with the tide, on both sides of the And
Speaker 1:one of the best curative balms for the disease of assumption is curiosity.
Speaker 3:Amen. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's the truth.
Speaker 1:Amazing. Amazing. I'm gonna just of close this out with just a liner because you really talked about the joy that can come from anger, I also want to just editorialize a little bit on what drives anger, what's under anger. It's always fear. And if we think about sort of a gratuitous example from movies, you know, if there's a movie, and I wish I could come up with a specific right now, if you've got one fill it in, but you know, there's a happy family and someone kills a family member, like we are disgusted, we're distraught, we're it's a terrible thing to watch because they're in a loving environment and something terrible happens.
Speaker 1:But in the movie where the bad guy keeps getting away with something and getting away with something and hurting more people and then they get killed in the last scene, we all like cheer that because we're afraid and we've now relieved the fear through the act of violence. And so as much as it is about finding an alternative mechanism of release for that, which is effective, there's also a question of how do we release the fear from those who we disagree with? How do we invite them into the circle of community and trust to let them know that they have a place and a part here so that over time the fear no longer needs to find its action and anger?
Speaker 3:I think that's so beautifully said. When things are as polarizing as they are, it's like the, you know, the war of civilizations. It feels like there are two visions, typically two, sometimes many more, but two visions of the world that are completely incompatible and that require one's destruction over the other in order to find some kind of conclusion. And we talk about elections and talk about the world and the stakes of politics in apocalyptic terms these days. Yeah.
Speaker 3:It can be really difficult to find alternatives to that. And one thing that I've tried to hold myself accountable to is to recognize the stakes in discourse without scaring people. You know, there was one thing that I think about a lot. I, when I was organizing around climate and environmental justice, there was this action that I did. I'd never done anything like it before, and I stormed into a room of folks among others, and was with a group of other organizers, unfurled the banner, and chanted and protest the fossil fuel investments.
Speaker 3:And I was proud of that action in a lot of ways. But as I I I was also scared of it because what I saw in that room when I entered it on the faces of those people were that were there was that in that moment, there was a lack of control of the situation. There's no idea what was happening. And there was real fear, real fear. And it it took me a long time to kind of wrestle with the efficacy of that action, which didn't actually move the needle very much on the issues that we cared about.
Speaker 3:But, you know, in some ways maybe felt like good or actionable. It felt like, efficacious. But, at the end of the day, the biggest effect that I think it had was it made people scared of the movement in that moment. And, you know, that was difficult for me to contend with. But fear is a very powerful thing.
Speaker 3:And whenever we can avoid it, whenever we can choose not to contribute to it while still advancing the issues that we care about, I think we ought to take those chances.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Amen. Matt, you are a remarkable human and leader at 22. You will be a remarkable human at 23 in just a few days. Thank you.
Speaker 1:33 and on and on. And I'm really excited to see your growth and what you're able to do. And I so appreciate that at a young age you have a recognition of the criticality of radical ownership in your leadership. You can truly only take a community or an organization as far as you've taken yourself. You can only understand others to the level that you understand yourself.
Speaker 1:And the biggest unlock to legendary leadership and bridging leadership is knowing thyself first so that you may know others. And in my work as a coach at ELC, when we do cohorts and groups, it's, you know, whoever wants to be there is welcome to be there. It's about connection, it's about skill building, but I only have so many slots for one to one clients. It's a much like higher level of personalization. And so when I do what's called a clarity session, which is trying to just figure out if this is the right tool for someone else or if there's somewhere else, and very often it'll be like, hey, I think this is a better program, a better place to go.
Speaker 1:But after we go through the whole process, one of the questions that I asked folks is, you know, this is where you are on a one to 10 scale, self identified versus your goal. So you're at a three right now. Over the next, whatever that duration is, six months, twelve months, what is your level of motivation to invest in yourself to get to a 10 with the one being like I would not get out of bed in the morning to do it and a 10 being this will be the most important thing that I focus on. And if people are not an eight or higher, I won't take them on as clients. And the reason for that is I have an equation that I've built, which is progress equals ownership over one times motivation over one.
Speaker 1:Right? So if you are a one of one, if you're a % or 10 in both of those things, then your ratio is one to one. You can get one unit of progress out of every unit of time. But if you show up with a % motivation, but you're only willing to own half your shit, the most progress you're gonna make is 50% of the possible. If you show up with half of each, the most you're gonna get is 25%.
Speaker 1:And I'm not interested in wasting their time or my time. Like go figure that piece out first and then come back. But to see someone as young as you with the self awareness to take that, like really prescribes a beautiful future for you and your community. So I just want to finish where we started by honoring you and your leadership and just saying how grateful I am to have you on the show and to know you in this universe. And I really appreciate your time, brother.
Speaker 3:I appreciate you. I'm so grateful to be here. Thank you for having me and for all that you do.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for joining us today. If you want to put what you've heard here today into practice, sign up for our newsletter, The Leader's Handbook, where each month you'll receive just one email with curated selection of the most useful tools and practices discussed on this podcast today and over the course of the last month, delivered in simple how to worksheets, videos, and audio guides so you and your teams can try and test these out in your own life and see what best serves you. And lastly, if you wanna be a vector for Healing Our Politics, if you wanna do your part, take out your phone right now and share this podcast with five colleagues you care about. Send a simple text, drop a line, and leave the ball in their court. Because the truth is, the more those around you do their work, the better it will show up in your life, in your community, and in your world.
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