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You will never truly reach your full potential, but you will always be in the process of becoming your best.
This podcast will is all about tapping into continual progression mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Josh Stively (00:00)
What is going on guys? Welcome back to the process of becoming my name is Dino and I'm Josh and we are back again guys and we're excited. We are back in full swing of the rotation of things. We're going to be hitting this every single week like we said we were and we honestly have a special one for you guys today and we don't even know what it is yet. So that's the exciting part. You ready Josh? Yeah, I'm doing awesome man. Like the cool thing about this guys is very rarely do we have like a topic where we're like.
like, hey, let's just touch on this. I mean, we started out that way just for structure. But I think the beautiful thing about the relationship, you know, and I have is we can just stop down midday and just have a really in depth, awesome discussion. So you're gonna get a little bit of that today. yeah, I think you're spot on with that, dude. Like I've even thought about this. It's like how many times that we just showed up to the room. We're like, let's just just swing it. And it's not like we plan this out throughout the week. But that is something that I think is is so valuable, bro. Like I think about this and obviously our relationship. But like, that's why I appreciate you so much is because
It's almost like we don't really have to talk and we just kind of know where we're picking up. And from the sounds of it, it sounds like you guys are enjoying where we're kind of going with the direction of all these things. So I'm excited to dive in and you know, we're going to see where this rides. I think this is a really good point to make though. It's like what you put in is what comes out. You know what I mean? So it's like the whole energy conversation that we've had.
It's the personal development story that we talk about all the time. And the value of that is like, when you put good things in, that's what you get out and you don't get what you want. You get what you are. So Dino and I, the reason that we're able to bring what you guys are perceiving as valuable is because we've just been putting that stuff into ourselves for a long period of time. And dude, it's a, it, I've kind of been thinking about this, but, and I don't know when's the last time we really touched on, you know, the power of energy and how it works. But it's like, if you think about it, dude, just to the basics, you know, we're all created out of atoms, right? Like,
And if you guys really think about it, we know 0 .001 % of what an atom has and we can't even see it, right? Well, you can't even go further. They actually isolated down further to what's called a quark. Really? Yep. And then they isolated that down further to what it's basically a sound wave is the smallest thing that makes us up. And the crazy part about that is it's you can't either create or essentially create or destroy it. But the only way it interacts is through vibrations and frequencies. And dude, it's almost like we talk about like the gut feeling.
Right? It's like when you sense something, how often is it right? Usually 99 % of the time, but it's because of that frequency, right? So it's like, dude, literally the world operates on that energy and frequency. And to your point, what you put out is what you attract. Right? And it's not like opposites attract. It's not, you know, that old saying kind of goes out the window, but at the end of the day, it's like, dude, the more that you put in, even if you don't know exactly how just trying is the difference, right? It's like, Hey, you might not know how to help your friend, but just being there for him and having the right intent.
Intent is like the biggest, I think it's like the world's currency of frequency to create the life that you want. Right? Like why do you do what you do? Yeah, I agree. Yeah. Something we were just talking about the other day from like a leadership standpoint is I think it might've been you and I that were talking about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We were talking about like, and I said, well, what precede proceeds that intent. Yup. That was literally yesterday, by the way. Yeah. And you already forgot. I didn't sleep very well.
yeah, I woke up middle of night as like, I felt like I it's I've been in this pattern of sleep where like I go to bed like whatever time usually it's around 11 1130 and I woke up, I went to bed last night a little bit earlier. It was around 1030 and I woke up at like one but I felt like I slept for like 55 hours. I was like wide awake and I was like, man, what is going on here? So I don't know what it is. Does that happen often to you? Hasn't for a long time but recently it has been so it's really bizarre to
Anytime I wake up in the middle of the night, I like the first thing I do is I pray. And it's not like an automatic thing, but I'm like, all right, there might be a reason why I'm awake. And the reason that that stems from is I had a couple of buddies that were very, very, very tied into energy. And they're they're very religious guys, spiritual guys. And they both woke up simultaneously at the exact same time in the middle of the night. And they didn't find this out until a little bit later.
But they both woke up simultaneously and one of them actually started praying in tongues like automatically and that's not something that he ever was able to do. The other guy just felt like this urge to pray. Well, they came to find out the next morning when they woke up that their buddy was traveling back from a conference or something like that in the middle of night and he got hit head, he was hit head on it by a semi. Bro, I legitimately have goosebumps. It was so bad that like when the EMS walked up to the truck, cause there's like a little S10 pickup truck, they were like, yeah, call the EMS. There's no, they're called it morgue. There's no one that.
is living through this accident. And when they walked up to the vehicle, there was like a capsule around where the driver's seat was. And the dude literally walked away without a single scratch on his body. my God. And then they found out the next day. They're like, that was the exact time of the accident. And that's the exact time that they woke up and prayed. So any time I wake up in the middle of night, like I think about like, all right, is there a reason why I'm awake? Is there something I'm supposed to be doing? So I just say a little prayer. And then last night, I got some water, went back to sleep.
Dude, that's wow. Everything's energy. Holy cow, man. I love the fact that you put meaning even to something as simple as that. Now, obviously you have an experience where it's like, all right, this, this might make sense. But how often times do we miss those things in our life where it's like it's present, but we're like, nah, nah, it can't be this. It can't be this. And just taking that little bit of like, Hey, what's the reason for this? Could there be, and if I don't know which most likely you won't, it's like, Hey, what if I still at least pray or put good things out? Dude, it's,
And that's the thing. It's like, the crazy part about that story is like, it's friends that have saved a friend, right? But how often does that happen with people that you don't know? And that's really where my mind went with this dude. It's like, you know, putting good out things, good, putting out good things into the world, regardless of if you actually see it live, right? Because in the end, it might be working somewhere, but you don't know. It's kind of like the conversation we had about like, you know, opening the door for someone, right? Like in,
In that moment, it might seem like the smallest thing, they're gonna say thank you, you're gonna leave, you're not gonna think about anything. But what if that trickle down to that person was like, damn, I was having a rough day, dude, okay, I have hope in people, that was awesome that that dude opened the door, I'm gonna open the door for the next person, and then the next person, next person. And now all those people are having some kind of influential part in their family and their work environment in themselves, just because of a little bit of goodness or a little bit of someone being nice to them or whatever it is, but that energy. Dude, that is the difference and that's how I think.
in life, if we can control that piece and really look for ways that we can essentially add value, put good things out every chance that we get. I think that's such a big fucking key, man. Yeah. And I think too, it's a core value that we have here at First Form, it's be selfless. And I was just thinking through that as you were saying, and we talked on prior episodes about like moments and like things and actions that really started changing our own trajectory in life. And honestly, like thinking back on it now, like one of the things that made the biggest impact in my life was
stop, I just stopped thinking about myself, right? So in that situation, it's easy to wake up in the middle of night and be like, man, I'm awake, you know, screw this, why am I awake, kind of get upset about it and think about me. But it's like, no, like, there could be another reason for it outside of me, right, even to the point of smiling at somebody at Walmart, right? Or having every time we go to Walmart to grocery shop, there's a greeter in there. He's an old guy. And there's, you know, you know how the greeters are. And it's just like stopping and acknowledging him.
Right? Instead of just looking down and blowing by him like everybody else does. So it's like these little moments in life, when you start living outside yourself and think about other people and do things for other people instead of yourself, life gets a hell of a lot better. Dude, it's the basic law of being a good human being. It's like, bro, everyone is a human. Everyone goes through their own things. And I think this is a conversation about judging, you know, where like, where this is where my mind goes with this. It's like, I think oftentimes we perceive people a certain way or we judge so fast.
And we never take the time. It's like, do we base literally a two second, five maybe minute view of someone right there. And we're like, yep, that's this person. It's like, bro, that person is 35 years old. They've lived 35 years. You know how many 35 years of experience you go through to get to this and like judging them based on your five minutes. But I think it's like when you can remove that piece, man, life gets better. And life changes for you when you make it about other people. Yeah. And it's kind of crazy how it works, right? It's like if you make it about you.
It eventually comes back to you, but only if you don't expect it to come back to you. It's crazy, man. But it's doing the right thing in my opinion. Law of reciprocity. Law of reciprocity. So there's actually a story to that with judgment. I think I was maybe like seven or eight years old and I was pretty blessed growing up. I grew up very, I'll just say I was pretty poor, right? We didn't have a whole lot of money, didn't have a lot of things. But my grandfather was a huge blessing and he had money. So every year he would take us to school shopping to make sure we had clothes and stuff. And we were going to the mall one time.
And I always hated going grocery shopping with him, not grocery shopping, but the clothes shopping with him. I loved it, but I hated it because he was like so old school. So he would be like, why don't you try these on? And it was like a pair of corduroys. And I'm like, pop up. Like, that's not cool, man. But he was very gracious and he made sure he obviously took care of me. But we were going to the mall one time and there was this dude standing out at like the middle of the highway, like with all the intersections going by and he was a homeless guy and just super disheveled looking, had a sign like asking for money. And I said, pop up, you know, are you going to give him money?
And he just kind of looked at me and said, no. And my guy, well, I didn't really question it. But then we were walking through the mall. He was telling me he's like the guy out there that you asked me if I was going to give money, the guy's worth hundreds of millions of dollars. The guy, he went to F and Franklin and Marshall, which is where my grandfather went to school, which is the most expensive Ivy league school in the entire country. It's back where I used to live. And this guy went there, started up, I forget what business the guy started. Lived an amazing life, just tons of money. But when his wife died,
He basically lost purpose in life. So he would go out and panhandle and then take whatever money that he get, he would earn and just donate it to like whatever organization around needed it. But that's like, he kind of just went off his rocker and that's like how we spend his time as like a quote unquote homeless philanthropist. Whoa. So like that day forward, like, and it's so weird because fast forward, like I've always looked at the homeless situation guys, and this is this a lesson in life is like, God does not judge what that person does with the money that you give them or the food that you give them.
He judges your intent on giving it to him. So for a while in life, I was like, this guy's just going to go buy drugs or booze. I'm not going to do it. but there was a situation outside of Walmart. One time Kim and I were stopping in just super quick and it was like, we were in and out less than five minutes and there was a dude, he had tons of stuff like bags and just all of his belongings. And we were like, man, let's see, let's buy this guy some food. So like we grabbed the rotisserie chicken off of like the little heater by the registers walked, came back out less than five minutes. The dude was completely gone.
And like, Kim and I even had this conversation. We were like, that was super weird. And we're like, dude, was he like an angel that was kind of testing us? You know what I mean? Cause I'm like, there's no way this guy could have been gone that quick. There was no bus stop nearby. Like we didn't see him walking with all of his belongings. He had no cart to transport it. And the guy was gone every single inch of what he had there. It was bizarre. So I was like, maybe that was a test. I remember you telling me that. So it was weird. Why do you think, I guess we, we start to like think about like, should we give this person money? Should we do this? Like,
Cause at the end of the day, like you even said, right? Like it's not up to you with how that person handles it. Why do you think we go there? And that's what we think about instead of like, Hey, what is our intent? Cause we don't fully understand, the law of attraction and how things work. Right. Cause like, again, vibrational frequency is if I'm thinking of like, well, you know, I don't really have a whole lot of money to give. Well, guess what? You're operating out of a place of lack and now your vibrational frequency is low. But if you freely give, which talks about in the Bible, right? given it'll be given unto you.
in accordance, blah, blah. But the idea there is just having the heart to be like, hey, you know, and hit another story, right? There was a situation that popped up where this is actually right at the beginning of when I was learning law of attraction and the visualization loop, like literally right at the beginning of it. And there was a situation that popped up and I was asked for money from somebody and I was like, man, I really don't have it, but I know they need it more. And it was literally at a time in my life where I didn't have a whole lot of money. So I think I gave them, it was 500 bucks.
It was like my last $500. I might have even over directed my account to give it to him and literally a week later I get a check in the mail for $8 ,000. I remember you told me this too. And it was my great my great grandfather that had passed away like three years prior and then all the trickle down effect of like the VA and all the money whatever like I just get a check from his inheritance for a grant and I literally remember stopping when I got that because in the Bible it talks about like you give and it'll like increase tenfold and I was like
dude, that's more than tenfold, right? And that was like one of those idiosyncrasies with visualization where I was like, I gotta keep doing this. And then also give graciously, not with the expectation of something returning. Cause that's it. As soon as you start expecting that dude, that's when you actually don't get it back. And I think the whole part with this too, it's not just from a money standpoint either, right? Because it's like money, I think is one of the most black and white ways you can see the tenfold increase, right?
but there's a lot of times that you don't see that 10 -fold increase because it hasn't happened yet, right? But it's like through giving time, giving energy, giving compliments, taking care of people. There's a lot of those things that also fall into that line of giving that isn't money necessarily, right? It's not monetary, but that 10 -fold comes at a time that you might not even realize it, right? It can happen, like for example, let's say you do something good today, but it happened 10 years from now when you're at your lowest point, and then all of a sudden it's like, boom, I got you. And you're like, what the hell, how did this happen?
And all it is is because of those little, little, little things, right? It's like at bats, dude, you know, like the more of those good at bats you take, the better overall you're going to be. You know what I mean? It's a, it's a, it's such a beautiful thing, man. And I always wonder, man, like where we lose sight of that as human beings, because it seems like such a amazing thing, right? Cause at the end of the day, when you give someone something, even time, energy, or money who needs it, it's like, how do you feel? I feel fucking amazing. But it's like, why do we stop that? Like, why do we not do that more often?
you know, and why do we put this roadblock for ourselves where it's like, it's just me, it's all about me, it's all about me when it's like, dude, if you actually made it about them and did something for them, it comes back to you. Yeah. Like where do you think that gets lost for us, bro? The easiest quickest answer is the enemy. It's the number one tool the enemy uses is fear. Right? Because if you're in that situation, I could have had a fear of loss of like, man, like I'm going to put myself in a really bad spot, which I did, if I give away this money away. But it's the fear of loss.
and people have that fear in all different aspects. But to tie into that point that you just made there, it's you have to give in order to get that is a principle. And there's probably a law or some type of a name for it. But if you want to if you want respect, you got to give respect. If you want trust, you got to give trust. If you want to develop leaders, you got to give leadership. Right. It's true across the board. Right. You want to get Yeah, you want to be loved. You got to give love. Right. So I think just like
maybe people just don't understand that because they understand like the opposite, which is like, I want to be loved. So love me. Right. Right. Right. Right. You know, and they try to force their hand on that. And it's not understanding that you got to give the get just what you said. I, in my mind, I also think part of it, it's a, the movie that you play, right. Where it's like, I think people understand, but I think, through the process of like, you know, thinking about it, like, does this make sense? Is this not, they ended up, they ended up telling themselves that it does it right. Because they never had someone really show them how it's done.
And I think they have a mis -viewed or a misconception of how to do it. Right. So like in my mind, I don't think inherently people do that because they want to. I think it's because to your point, they, they don't understand, but it's not that they don't fully understand. They haven't gone in deep to really see it. Right. And dude, it's part, it's part of life, right? It's like being able to look at yourself and reflect to find out like, Hey, what am I doing? Right. What am I doing wrong? And the giving and getting is the same example, right? Where it's like, Hey, treat others how you want to be treated first before.
Like if you want to be treated a certain way, if you're not treating others that way, you can't expect it back. Right? It's like to your point, if you're operating from a place of lack, you're never going to get, you know what I mean? So it's like, think about a lot. I think a lot of people just stop the process of thinking. I don't think it's like truly just a lack of understanding. I think it's a lack of going deep enough to see what the potential of your life can be. I hope that makes sense. Yeah. And to your point too, I think that you can even tie in the delayed gratification there and the lack of understanding or the lack of patience.
Because we live in this fishbowl society now where I push a button and something shows up in the house two days later. So I mean even to the point where like we've all been guilty of it where we order something and then we're pissed off that it's not there when it's supposed to be there. Like talk about first world problems, right? So with at least from the tithing standpoint, right? Because tithing is part of the Christian religion. It's like, all right, well a lot of people will tithe and give 10 % but then they don't see that return so then they stop.
not understanding to your point earlier that like, Hey, it could pop up at any time. But also the judgment there is your hearts with giving. So it's like, are you giving respect falsely? And like under the pretense of like, no, I do, I deserve respect. Or are you giving it willingly? It comes back to what you said the very beginning. Your intent. Wow. It always comes back to it. Isn't it crazy, bro? Isn't it crazy? Yeah, we need to write a book on intent. I would love to. I would love to, dude, I've actually, so, there's something that,
I kind of showed you yesterday. I don't know if you remember my, my, my, some of my motivations and drives. I thought you were going to talk about your trick shot. that, that was, that was pretty sick. Did I show you that? Yeah. Okay. You know what's weird? What? So you showed me that trick shot. I've never one time and I'm not even exaggerating, seen anything about soccer on my, my explore page on Instagram. All of a sudden I started getting all these soccer reels. No way. Yeah. And I didn't even look it up on my phone. That's insane, bro. That is insane. Yeah. Well, I mean, dude, I don't know if you've seen this, but, they have the airdrop.
I can literally just put my phone next to yours and it'll like push it through. Like it's weird. But dude, that's insane, bro. That's insane. I'm learning skills though. I learned one yesterday. I'm like, I gotta try it before I leave today. Dude, let's go, bro. Anytime we want to do a trick shot, you know where to find me. I'm in that court. I'm gonna try one. Can we try one? Absolutely. I want to see. I want to kick it a few times, see how close I can get. I guarantee you I can get you in an hour. I guarantee you we can hit a trick shot. Guaranteed. I don't know if I have an hour today. Okay, that's fair. I'm saying, but I'm saying in total. Okay.
course of time in an hour we'll make that. Okay, so no, that was that's not the place I was gonna go. But that's actually a really good example of you just like a perfect example. So and that was my shameless plug for your trick. I appreciate that. I try not to you don't talk about it. But it is something I love to do. Incredible. Thank you, man. I don't feel that way all the time. But it's because I'm in it. Right. And it's like, obviously, I'm the one spending the hour. So it's like, when I hit it, I'm like, awesome. It makes sense.
And I'm like, okay, was it really that cool? And you know what I mean? When you do it so long, you always kind of question or look at like, was this good enough? Could I have done this better? But like, you're like, dude, this is awesome. So that helps me out more than you know. It's incredible. Thank you, man. I appreciate that. It's a skill set that I don't have. Just so you guys understand what we're talking about. Dino does these soccer trick shots where like he just does insane shit on the basketball court with the soccer ball. And then he'll kick it from like three quarters court and it goes in nothing but net.
And I'm like, I can't even kick a ball into a soccer goal from 15 feet away. So like it blows my mind. It's truly incredible stuff. And he spends a lot of time and that's a lot of time doing it. So dude, you're a too fucking kind man. dude, the crazy part about even the soccer aspect of this, and I was talking to my parents yesterday, but you know, and I've already, I told you guys originally, like my goal in life was to be a soccer player early on. And I really, really solidified that at 19.
where my eyes started to open up to like the effort I needed to put into that, to soccer to get there. So I ended up taking the Kobe mentality of like, you know, training three, four times a day, right? That involved lifting, that involved shooting, that involved like ball skill, and that involved yoga, stretching. Like I tried to do whatever I could, right? So, you know, did that for two, three years and then obviously came here, right? So the goal was like, damn dude, like soccer was such a big part of my life. It was the thing that I wanted to do. And through that process, when I got here, I was like, dude,
I would love to make it a part of this, but I was like, I don't know how this is going to happen. But I was like, some, I just believe that something would work, but soccer was kind of like, okay, maybe there's a different direction. Like I didn't fully understand it, right? You always have that uncertainty of where the next step is. But now fast forward to here. And I'm like, dude, it all makes sense to why I spent all that time training because it does help me with those tricks, right? Like, dude, I spent so much time with that ball. That was also a thing that helped me get through a lot of problems. Like, dude, I used to tell people this all the time, but.
When I would struggle with things or have challenges, I would go out to a soccer field, I would juggle a ball and dude, everything was clear. Everything just starts to open up and I'm like, I solved my own problems through doing that, right? But for me, it was the coolest part was like, man, not knowing where it was gonna take me, but everything, now when you kind of look back, right? It's like, this all makes sense to how we got here. And it was all the intent piece, man. Like my goal with soccer and everything that I wanted to do wasn't just for me, like even becoming a soccer player, my intent was to take care of my family. It was to...
actually, I'll even kind of dive in a little bit deeper on this. So there was, I've had plenty of moments where I saw people who were successful and people I looked up to in life, right? And we all have those people. And for me, dude, I got the ability and opportunities to meet some of those people that were my idols or people that I looked up to at the time, and people that I wanted to be like, and I had almost like a rude awakening of like, holy shit, man, these are people and they also make mistakes and they're not as...
Good. Not everyone is a good person. Not everyone cares the way you think they would care, right? Because we have this like perception of these people. And dude, I remember this one story. So I went to go see one of my favorite players play and it was on a small field. It was a friendly game and I was an Oscar at the time, right? Tickets were cheap. It was like 10 bucks. and I went to go see and I, you know, I got the chance to meet this guy and I was like, dude, I'm so excited. He's going to take a picture and the game ends, dude. And he just walks into his bus. People are waiting for him to take a picture and he doesn't stop.
He doesn't say anything. He just goes in. And I was like, damn, you know, it stopped me in my tracks. Dude, and I'm like 19, 18 at the time. And I was like, that's interesting. I was like, this guy has all these people looking up to him and fans and he just doesn't even give the time to him. And then I saw this other guy come by and he, he's also a good player, but he wasn't like the main guy, right? And he stopped and he's taking pictures. He's talking to people. And I was like, why aren't more people like that? I'm like, dude,
I get how much work these guys have to put in and I understand like they're still humans, right? But dude, these are the people that get you to this level. And in my mind, dude, I always wanted to be able to give that to those kids because I remember what it did to me in that moment. I was like, dude, it almost like shatters the person that you see, right? And when I saw that, I was like, dude, I want to be the difference. I was like, if I ever get to that point, when I get to that point, I am never going to be I'm never doing that. I'm giving every person that time because at the end of the day, how I got there is because of those people.
And dude, that was a big piece for me and my motivation. And then just obviously long story short now, right? But it all kind of tied into me doing even trick shots and being here with you is, is dude, I want to be able to, to be that guy for people and show like, Hey dude, it's okay to be human, but always give back to the people that got you there. Right. And a lot of my motivation for soccer and all these things was other people. It was my intent to other people. Like we all want to be cool. We all want to have, you know, all the great things and be talked about and complimented. That's awesome. But for me, it wasn't about that dude. And
just to kind of just, dude, it just almost doesn't make sense, but does make sense because we understand what we've understood, you know, and all the things we've talked about, but just to see all the pieces line up, I'm just like, dude, it's mind blowing how I'm even here to this point. And obviously yesterday meeting someone else who does trick shots and then hitting a trick shot within like, I'm not gonna give you guys the tries because that might be part of the question. It was the first try. Yeah, yeah, we'll go with that. But yeah, man, it's just crazy how life kind of works out. So yeah, hope that.
Hope that makes sense. It does. You were going to dive down the path of the other thing you showed me. Yes. and dude, I thought about this and I don't want to go too, too in depth with this because I want to save this for, a different day in time. Cause it goes deep, man. and I know this was something, you know, even with when you shared your story, I know how it was like the first time really that you ever put it out there. and I eventually want to dive into this a little bit deeper. but let's just put it this way, you know, in my life, I didn't have the
best support system. And what I mean by that is not my parents. My parents were literally the key factor. So like your friend, when you know, when your friends woke up and you know, they prayed and it was like that bubble, right? My parents were always that bubble for me. But the people around me and the people closest to me, some of my own, literally my own family, hated me essentially. And there was a lot of that stuff to it, right? And it was a big driving factor for me because I saw...
Dude is so much shit. And like I said, I apologize guys I'm kind of leaving you on like a cliffhanger with this but I thought about this dude and I'll dive in with you personally because you know, but one day guys I promise I'll share this and it all makes sense but just know sometimes your motivations can be the people that Maybe want to see you do the worst right or don't maybe look at you a certain way, right? Like it's okay to have that chip on your shoulder, but never wish ill intent on anybody still operate from a good place even though
some other people might not operate towards you that way. So yeah, bro, I've been thinking about that. And I think I'm a, I'm gonna think I'm a hold off on that for a little bit. That's all right. That's all right. Later. You make a really good point there, right? Because there's, there's a different motivations for a lot of different things, right? We actually covered this with our team on our team call on Monday. for a lot of people in the program that we mentor, there's a couple hundred people on there. And, we got into the idea of, of similar discussion of like, all right, well, your goals can drive you.
and be your driving force. But it's also okay to operate from a dark side. And for me, for a long period of time, that's the same way I operated. It's like, dude, there's, and it wasn't for me. And I can't think of a whole lot of people, there may have been some that literally, like not a whole lot of people in my life told me, you're not going to make it. But there was just this air and this like overall perspective of like, I grew up in a town with two red lights, one of them wasn't necessary and nobody made it out. Like everybody just stayed there and more or less rot.
you know, and for lack of better term, sure, there were some semi successful people there, but not the success that I wanted. So it was almost like not necessarily a human being telling you that you can't make it, but like society as a whole saying like, Hey, you're one of us just stay here. Status quo is good enough crabs in a bucket. Yeah, 1000 % like that. So and even to the point when I moved out here, like there was a lot of people questioning it. I remember I had a conversation with Kim's dad because obviously with the kids and with Kim and stuff.
He wasn't privy to where we were going and what I was doing. He didn't really understand what first form was or the mission. You know, and he never, we just never discussed it. We didn't have that relationship. And I remember when I told him that I was moving out here, I kind of just painted the picture for him of what the future was going to look like in the life that I'd be able to provide for the girls. And he got a little bit choked up and, you know, thanked me and all this kind of stuff for having the conversation with him. And like three or four days later, he calls me and he's like, hey, I just want to give you a permission to do what you said you wanted to do. Dude.
And I was like, Mark, I don't need your permission. Like I'm a grown man. But like, it was just an interesting thing. So even that type of mindset of like, okay, you can go do it. I'm going to allow you to, you know, so for me, it wasn't like necessarily the people, but this going back to operating from a dark side, there's like, yeah, there's a lot of people in your life that you might want to prove wrong. Use it for freaking fuel, right? It doesn't always have to be the sunshine and rainbows and the fun shit that drives you or the goals or the 30, 60, 90.
Like sometimes you got to go to that dark place and be like, fuck you, I'm going to make it happen. And honestly, that's a big driver in my life because no one in my life has been very successful. Right. Now, my grandfather, he was successful. My uncle was successful. But to what end? Like what legacy did they leave? So success is in the eye of the beholder. And I don't look at that as success because, you know, my grandfather, great human being had an amazing funeral with tons of people. But that's not what I want. I want to leave a lasting impact.
That literally changes the entire trajectory of millions of people's lives. You don't want to live forever You want to create something that does yeah, that's what thousand percent dude I I think oftentimes man I love that you said that the the sunshine and rainbows right like it's okay to operate from a dark place But when you say that it's it's not like hate those people or look or dive so much into that But look at that as like hey these people viewed me as this way they have no idea what I'm capable of and I'm gonna show everyone And I'm gonna bring those people and I'm also gonna show
the path for other people who have these people in their lives, how to get out of it. Because that is a fucking superpower, dude. And again, it all comes from a place of like, you, right? It's hard. But again, your intent is not just for you. It's for the family. It's for the people around you. And do when it's bigger than yourself. You're willing to do whatever the fuck it takes, man. That's awesome, bro. That's awesome. It goes back to the point you made about the whole soccer thing, right? It's.
It's number one, not judging people. And you're used, it's like, yeah, it's easy to look at that guy and be like, what a dick, right? But who knows where he was at? Like there might've been something crazy happen. Maybe he's got a text mid game where a family member died or something. You never really know. So it's giving people grace, but it's also looking around at life guys. And one of the best lessons I've ever learned is you can learn a lot from the people that you admire, but you can also learn what not to do and who you don't want to be.
Right. And it's even the way that we operate as leaders here. It's like, all right, I'm looking to my leadership and I'm like, all right, these are all the amazing things that they're teaching me and what I can learn to do. But what things would I do differently? What things would I avoid? Because everybody has pitfalls, even me, the people that look up to me as a leader or as a human being. It's like, so that's really the true essence of creating the life that you want is you get to focus on the things you do want, but you can also create the things you do want based off things you don't want. That is true. And just move it away. And guess what? We've talked about it before.
The things that you don't want to tolerate that becomes your standard. That's what's whatever's left. Dude. If you almost don't look into both sides of what you do and what you don't, you don't really ever get a clear picture. Right? It's like you have one side of the circle with what you do, but that's as clear as just that. But when you know, Hey, this is also what I don't want. Now you can kind of put that bubble. It's almost like a Venn diagram, right? Where it's like, you have the middle where it's like, okay, what is the thing that I want from both of these sides? And how do I make it work? But if you don't have one or the other, it, the picture is unclear.
You know what I mean? And to your point, it's like, we're never going to be at a point where someone is going to be perfect. And we have to stop moving people off a pedestal, right? Like one of the things, man, and this is, I'm pretty sure a very stoic, saying, and I don't remember exact phrases or quotes or what was said, but essentially even your idols, like never put them on a pedestal because then you're telling yourself you're number two. Probably you are capable of anything. Anyone else is capable of one man can do it. You can do it too.
And I think oftentimes we put ourselves in those bubbles because we don't look at it that way. Right. We expect everyone to be perfect, but it's okay to look at the person that you admire and like, I mean, I love this a bottom. I might do this differently because of this, but boom, that's how you become the one of one. That's how you are unique in your own way. Right. There's a, there's a J example, on, on the topic of leadership. And I don't remember which book I want to say to dichotomy of leadership. it's by Jacqueline. and there's an example of, so as a leader,
Right. Especially when you're on the battlefield, being vocal, being able to communicate and do it quickly, you know, obviously is a, is a very important skill when your life's on the line. Right. And then Jaco is talks about this, younger leader that he kind of puts in and he's not the most vocal guy, right? Like he's not the guy that's you can hear when he says his directions, whatever. But when Jaco saw that he w he didn't, he didn't do anything. He wanted to see how this guy would essentially solve that problem. Right. And how the guy ended up solving the problem was okay. So the communication needs to be there.
and it needs to be vocal. That guy isn't vocal. So he found the most vocal guy. He was like, Hey, I need you to say this, this, this, and he will tell him what to say and he'll say it. And the beauty of that is there's a basic rule of leadership communication. How it's done can be different and can be in your own way. But as long as it works, it's the it's like the foundation piece, right? We all have different the foundations the same, but how you go about it is different. And that's one of my favorite examples is because
It took someone who might be a little bit different, but he's still a leader, right? He might not have this quality, but he figured out a way to still make this possible. And dude, I don't know why that came to me, but it's oftentimes like one of those things where if you really break it down, there's obviously a foundation of being a good person, right? But we can all be a good person in our own way, right? It can come from family, it could be in career, it can be helping the community, it can be, you know, whatever. But we all have a simple foundation of being a good human being, but how we apply it to our lives can be different and that is okay.
And you learn from your idols. Yep. 100%. That's from leadership strategy and tactics. Is it? Yep. Yeah. We're reading through that as a leadership team. And that's where I guess had that story. Like literally what? A week and a half ago. Was it? Yeah. Something like that. Yeah. It was one of my favorite dude. Yeah. It's one of my favorites. It's an incredible story. Incredible book, but it's a proof positive that literally it's what we always say. There's, there's the way that a lot of people think like, there's only one way to do this. Right. But the beautiful thing about another topic that they talk about in there is decentralized command.
It's like, hey, if everybody understands what we're supposed to do, but even more importantly, the why behind it, then they're free to come up with their own way to make it happen the best they see fit. And sometimes that's better than what you think. Thousand percent, dude. Innovation. How does innovation happen? It's when you give someone the power to innovate. If everyone has to stick in this one line, dude, it'll never change. Right. How you do one thing is how you do everything. And sometimes it's like, hey, cool. Okay. We all understand we got to take this serious. But when you take it serious, the outcome might be different based on whatever that person sees.
And that could be the new solution to the problem that you're having and it can make it quicker, more effective, more efficient. Let's dive in on that real quick. Cause that's almost like an inside joke sort of language. So one of the things that I teach my, the coaches that I mentor is be very cautious of inside joke language, because there's things that we say as coaches like, Hey, the game plan is a really simple one. It's protein, calories, water, and movement. Right. Right. Right. These, the, how you do one thing, how you do everything is the same thing. Right. Cause we, we understand that we talk about it all the time. So let's dive in on that.
because this is a principle that literally, if you can understand this and embody this, it is the fastest way to increase your standards in life. And we can talk about the deposits too. So I like this. I want to take this back to the two intent with this, right? Because intense, one of those things with how you do everything, how you do one thing is how you do everything. Right? So from like a standpoint of let's say, and this is something we talked about here, right? Where you see a piece of paper, you pick it up. Okay. You see a book off you, you fix it, right? And you do it because it's like, Hey, it might not.
literally make any difference, right? It's a little bit off. But the fact that you took your time to make that perfect or as perfect as it can be, what are you gonna do in the rest of the areas of your life, right? Well, hey, what happens when it comes to a relationship? And let's say maybe, you know, something happens, you're like, do I really wanna do that? And you're like, you know what? I want to because I wanna make this right. I wanna make sure I do what my part here and make sure nothing's left unturned, right? And when you do that with everything, it adds up in life and it's like deposits to your point, right? And we can kind of tie it all in.
But at the end of the day, intent is where my mind goes with how you do one thing is how you do everything. Yeah. Right. I'll chip in there. And it's also standards. Right. And another example of that is it's a joke that used to be made, but it was how first one did things. And to some degree, we still how we do it. It's like when people would show up for a job interview, they would go out and check the person's car and then they would relay information back. But I do that guy's car is the pig's thigh. Right. So you could sit in an interview and be like, man, I'm organized. Like I have a strength of just being of getting stuff done and taking initiative.
But then when you go look at their car, you're like, not bro. The actions ain't lining up with the words, right? So, it's really the fastest way to understand that, like, I need to increase my standard and that nothing is too small or insignificant. You know, that's what it's really done for my life. I've like, yeah, walking through the office and having an extreme tension to the detail now to almost an OCD level of like, are all the chairs straight? Are the wheels straight? Is there any stuff on the floor? Is there any little watermarks in the mirror? Right. And taking care of that stuff.
Because your point, when you do take care of those things, that's a deposit in the discipline piggy bank. It's a skill set. Yeah, it's a skill set. It'd be very easy to not do those things, but it'd be also very easy to do them, right? So which one are you going to do? Hey, it'd be very easy to eat seven slices of pizza. It'd be very easy not to, right? Which one are you going to do? And that discipline carries over to other areas of your life. And then the really cool thing about it is you literally increase your standard across your entire life. And then that's how you actually outwardly change the world, right? I was at an airport one time.
Everybody knows how airport bathrooms are. I'm just completely destroyed. It's 20 feet long, right? Soaking wet. So I'm in there wiping it down. I had time. Like, why would I not? Right. And I was going to do it even if I didn't have time. So wiping it down and this dude comes in, he's like, hey, man, you don't got to do that. They got people to do that. And I'm like, yeah, but there's never a wrong time to do the right thing, brother. And then actually, you know, he's grabbing paper towels and he's helping me. Isn't that great? Now, the cool thing is, is I don't not going to follow that guy around. But my hope is that he'll do that for the rest of his life. Right. Just because I put a little chip in his ear.
a little seed planted of like, dude, it's the right thing to do. And I got time to do it. Why wouldn't I do that? I love that. And the thing about it is correlation or causation, right? Because the people that pay attention to those things and operate that way, some of the most successful people that I know, isn't that crazy how that works though? I think about to this example too, where it's like soccer, right? Or team sports, you know, you hear it all the time where it's like the people that have played in a team sport or have played at like a higher level.
they're typically, whenever they carry that mindset with them everywhere else, right? And it's like, well, why do they do that? Well, it's because they were so immersed in it all the time. Well, guess what? Not all of us can play team sports anymore, right? Like some of us got kids, some of us got jobs, some of us got family. So it's like, how do you create that environment for yourself outside of that? Well, it's like, hey, it's picking up that piece of paper. Hey, it's wiping down that, the countertop in the bathroom. Because if you do that, now you're paying attention to more things. And guess what? That transfers over into your life, right? So like,
The reason we even talk about how you do one thing is how you do everything is because if you're willing to take the time to do that, where else is that going to transfer over? Right? Because guess what? It's kind of like school. It's like what you learn in school. If you're paying attention and you're truly invested, it's going to transfer over some way, some shape, some form, right? It's like what our parents teach us. It transfers over. Well, how do we create that for ourselves? Because that's the beauty of human beings is we have the ability to create our own standard. And when you create that standard for yourself, dude, it elevates every other area in your life.
And that's where a lot of, I want to say happiness can come from, right? Because that's also with thought processes, that's with relationships, that's with your career, that's with your work, that's with regularly just keeping your house clean, right? It's from literally the basic bones of anything that you do. And if you do it at the best level that you can, it'll transfer over into everyday life without even thinking about it. Like you're just naturally gonna want to do that. And guess what? It's not as hard anymore. You know, I use this example with my team all the time. Your first time ever tying your shoes, how fucking hard was it?
Yeah, it's real hard. Dude, it's the hardest thing in the world. You feel like you can't fucking you're like, there's no way. When's the last time you remember tying your shoes? I don't I just slide them on. That's how they come from the factory. All right, dude. Damn it. Come on. There's a point to this. Yeah, I don't ever think about it. But you don't think about it doesn't take time. It's a habit. You've done it so much that you don't need to spend time on it. Right. And that's how life works. Right. Hey, something that you might want to get better at or whatever.
It's gonna be weird at first, you gotta pay attention, it's gonna be hard, but once you do it so much, it becomes just a part of you. And to your point, there's a reason the most successful people do it, and it becomes a part of them because it transfers over into every area of their life. Yeah, and it's a really good way to sum that up. It's true with a lot of things that I teach people. Even with tracking macros for your nutrition, working out, it hits a threshold of it's no longer what you do, it's who you are.
Right. And with, with the, how you do one thing is how you do everything. That's true with that as well. Cause guess what? Like it's not, it's so weird to me, dude. It's, it's like another part of my brain has been tapped into where I notice everything. So if I'm on a rock, right, if I'm walking and this happened not too long ago, where if I'm walking, I don't look up and out a lot. Like I'll just kind of look down in front of me and I'm, as I'm thinking and walking, making sure I'm not tripping on anything. And then like, I'll look up and literally every time I look up, I'm looking straight at a piece of trash. That's like 55 feet away.
That's crazy. Yeah, it's like my eyes literally just find it. Right. It's so weird. So and then of course, once I see it, I got to go get it. So I mean, I've spent 30 minutes in a shop in a shopping cart. It's frenzy running around a park on my guy. That one's like, freaking 800 yards away. Do I go get that one? Yeah, I do. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's just the freaking weirdest thing. But the way that I look at it is if I don't do that, I consciously saw that and I consciously made a decision that I wasn't going to hold that standard. And that to me, that's not who I am. Right. It's it's
Maybe it used to be what I did, but it's not who I am anymore. So, and to Dino's point, that will literally bleed into every single other, every life. Your decision -making process will be that much more automatic. And the cool thing about decisions and automating things in your life from that standpoint is your body and your mind, your mind wants to create habits out of everything, right? I think it was statistically like 40 to 50 % of your stuff you do every day is just automatic, right? And a proof positive of that is try to think of the order that you should take a shower in.
Right? You don't have to think about, all right, I'm going to wash my hand. Everybody's the same way. Right? So your mind wants to do that. And the cool thing about it is that that is how you become who you are, how you do one thing, how you do everything. You start focusing in on that, being intentional with it. And then all of a sudden it's automatic and dude, it's, it's like we've talked about with the subconscious, right? When you do it so often, it's so it's there. Right. And we all have the subconscious running a lot of our time. Right. And when you can start taking control of those little things, like dude, the subconscious is where it really starts to connect.
And when that connects, then it becomes a lot easier to do. Right? We could go in a whole episode of subconscious. I know. I was literally thinking that I was like, I was like, I want to dive into this, but I'm going to keep this simple. Let's talk about that next time. So I like that. I like that Lord, but just know it's when you do these habits or when you do these things consistently, the subconscious, the thing that's truly running us at most of the time, right? That once it's beaten in there, once it's there, dude, it sets you up to your point where now you look up and you're like, you see it. It's because subconsciously you should focus on it so much.
Do you remember that gorilla example that I told you about? That's where my mind goes. Right? Like what you put your attention on is what you're going to see more of. It's a filter. We have a filter 24 seven. my gosh. It's a trainer filter. It's called your reticular activating system. Yup. I'll finish it with this and this will be a teaser for the next episode. It's gonna be freaking fun. Let's get it. Guys, your subconscious mind dictates what your life is. Period. Period. So your point, I'll correct you with it. It's most of the time. No, it is a hundred percent of the time. You know what I mean? 95.
100 % 100 % 95. We got five. It goes back to the example that we give, right? And this is that question that blows people's minds is, all right, you know, think about the type of computer that you have. Right? So you thinking about it? Okay, now speak it out loud. What type of computer? Yeah. Hard drive, right? Like, is that what you mean? Mac. well, I'm not okay. So I got a PC. Right? Well, whatever. You know what I'm saying? I got both. Okay. Yeah, yeah. The exercise here is like the question you ask is like, all right, I want you to say that in your head.
they say it in their head, they hear that voice. And then you speak it out loud and you hear your voice saying it. And then the question is, well, which voice is yours? And the answer to the question is it's the voice that knows the difference. You are the piece that knows the difference between those two voices, which is your subconscious mind. It's personal listening. Yeah, it's wild, bro. It's wild. Human being we are not what we think we are guys. You know what's cool about that though? It's like if you want to find out who you really are, pay attention to your subconscious as much as you can.
That's the whole idea of meditation and visualization. That's exactly it, bro. What about, what's his name? Rogan podcast. Terrence McKenna. No, no, no. What's, Terrence Howard, Terrence Howard. McKenna is a fighter. Like dude, talk about subconscious mind. Yeah, dude. Yeah. Well, that's a, yeah, we're diving into that whole thing. Dude. my God, bro. Yeah. All right guys, we are at time. I got to jump in and do a little bit of work stuff here on a
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