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You know that sinking feeling when you wake up with a hangover and think: “I’m never doing this again”? We’ve all been there. But what happens when you follow through? Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen can tell you, because they did it! They went from sisters-in-law, to Sisters in Sobriety.
In this podcast, Sonia and Kathleen invite you into their world, as they navigate the ups and downs of sobriety, explore stories of personal growth and share their journey of wellness and recovery.
Get ready for some real, honest conversations about sobriety, addiction, and everything in between. Episodes will cover topics such as: reaching emotional sobriety, how to make the decision to get sober, adopting a more mindful lifestyle, socializing without alcohol, and much more.
Whether you’re sober-curious, seeking inspiration and self-care through sobriety, or embracing the alcohol-free lifestyle already… Tune in for a weekly dose of vulnerability, mutual support and much needed comic relief. Together, let’s celebrate the transformative power of sisterhood in substance recovery!
Kathleen Killen is a registered psychotherapist (qualifying) and certified coach based in Ontario, Canada. Her practice is centered on relational therapy and she specializes in couples and working with individuals who are navigating their personal relationships.
Having been through many life transitions herself, Kathleen has made it her mission to help others find the support and communication they need in their closest relationships. To find out more about Kathleen’s work, check out her website.
Sonia Kahlon is a recovery coach and former addict. She grappled with high-functioning alcohol use disorder throughout her life, before getting sober in 2016. Sonia is now the founder of EverBlume, a digital tool that offers a unique approach to alcohol recovery support.
Over the last five years, she has appeared on successful sobriety platforms, such as the Story Exchange, the Sobriety Diaries podcast and the Sober Curator, to tell her story of empowerment and addiction recovery, discuss health and midlife sobriety, and share how she is thriving without alcohol.
Her online platform EverBlume launched in February 2023, and was featured in Recovery Today Magazine and deemed an ‘essential sobriety resource’ by the FemTech Insider.
The company champions self-improvement and mindful sobriety, with support groups designed by and for women struggling with alcohol.
So how can EverBlume help you meet your sober community? By offering deeply personalized support. Members get matched based on their profiles and life experiences, and take part in small group sessions (max. 16 people). In your support group, you will meet like-minded women, discuss your experiences, and gain confidence, knowing you can rely on your peers in times of need.
Whether you identify as a binge drinker, someone who developed a habit during the Covid-19 pandemic, a high-functioning alcoholic, or an anxious person using alcohol to self-soothe… There is a support group for you!
Current EverBlume members have praised the company’s unique approach to alcohol detox. “No one is judging me for not being sure I want to be sober for the rest of my life” ; “I felt so heard and understood and today I woke up feeling empowered to make the change in my life”.
Feeling inspired? Learn more about the EverBlume sobriety community at joineverblume.com, or simply listen to Sisters In Sobriety.
Your sobriety success story starts today, with Kathleen and Sonia. Just press play!
[00:00:00] Sonia: Hi sisters and welcome back to the Sisters in Sobriety podcast. Today we have a [00:01:00] Q and A episode where we're diving into a very common issue Many of us face, as the seasons change, the anxiety that warmer weather can bring for those of us in recovery. One of our listeners reached out with a concern that resonates with so many of us.
[00:01:15] Sonia: SP from Houston says, I'm nervous about the warm weather. It's such a trigger for me to drink. So SP, you are not alone from beach days to patios to barbecues to weddings, vacations, festivals. There are so many things that can remind us of drinking and be a powerful trigger. So let's start talking about some strategies to help you manage these feelings and enjoy the season sober.
[00:01:43] Sonia: The first thing is to understand and acknowledge your triggers. It is essential to acknowledge that feeling anxious about triggers related to warm weather is perfectly normal. It doesn't help to pretend that everything is fine. I understand the term fake it till you make it, but [00:02:00] ignoring triggers does not work.
[00:02:01] Sonia: fall into that. Warm months often bring about more social gatherings, outdoor events, and sometimes memories associated with past drinking. Recognizing this as a trigger is a significant step. It allows you to approach the situation with awareness and take proactive steps to protect your sobriety. Think of it like this.
[00:02:22] Sonia: Just as you might pack sunscreen to protect your skin, acknowledging your triggers lets you pack the right mental tools to protect your sobriety. So maybe beach parties, backyard barbecues feel tricky because they used to be boozy affairs. And that's okay. But knowing it helps you prepare better. And remember, every time you navigate these situations successfully, you're not just getting through it, you're building your sobriety muscles.
[00:02:48] Sonia: So celebrate these moments. They're proof of your strength and resilience. It's not about avoiding every trigger, it's about knowing them, planning for them, and even using them as stepping stones [00:03:00] on your recovery path. So let's keep it light and breezy, just like a summer day, and handle these challenges with some savvy strategies.
[00:03:09] Sonia: So how to plan ahead. Before you head to any social gathering, a little planning can go a long way.
[00:03:16] Sonia: Think of it like setting up your personal game plan. It's super helpful to think through the kinds of situations you might bump into and have your responses ready. For instance, mixing up a tasty non alcoholic drink to bring along not only ensures you have something enjoyable to sip on, but also gives you a cool conversation piece.
[00:03:37] Sonia: Maybe it's your signature sparkling lemonade, a refreshing mint infused iced tea. Everyone is going to want to know what you are drinking. bringing a friend who gets what you're going through can also be a game changer. They can be your wingman in steering clear of any drinking pressure.
[00:03:55] Sonia: They can help change the subject when things get uncomfortable or [00:04:00] give you a look that says, Hey, we got this. When you need a little boost by having these strategies in your back pocket, you're not just avoiding stress, but you'll be more able to enjoy the party fully.it turns, what could be a nerve wracking experience into a more relaxed and genuinely fun outing.
[00:04:18] Sonia: So with your non alcoholic drink in hand, any good friend by your side, you're all set to make the most. Of the beautiful weather and great company. Now go out there and enjoy the sunshine. Worry free setting boundaries. It's completely okay to set boundaries and decline invitations to events that feel too challenging.
[00:04:40] Sonia: or are centered around alcohol. Recognizing which situations might jeopardize your sobriety is a crucial part of maintaining your progress. Remember, your recovery must come first, and that means prioritizing it over social obligations, no matter the pressure or expectation from [00:05:00] others.
[00:05:00] Sonia: Think of it this way. Just like you wouldn't go into a situation that risks your physical health, protecting your mental health and sobriety. Is just as important. It's not about missing out. it's about choosing to stay in a positive environment that supports your long term goals.
[00:05:17] Sonia: And here are a few practical tips on how to set those boundaries.
[00:05:21] Sonia: Be honest with yourself and others. If an event feels risky, acknowledge that feeling. It's okay to explain to friends or family that you're skipping an event to keep your recovery on track. Most people will understand and respect your decision.
[00:05:37] Sonia: Offer alternatives. Just because you're saying no to one event doesn't mean you can't participate in other ways. Suggest a different activity that feels more comfortable. Or host a small alcohol free gathering with close friends or family. Prepare a response. Sometimes you might feel pressured to explain your reasons in more detail.
[00:05:58] Sonia: Having a prepared response [00:06:00] can ease the discomfort. You could say, I'm focusing on my mental health right now and sticking to activities that support that goal. Prioritize self care. Every time you choose an environment that supports your sobriety, you're also choosing self care over peer pressure. And reinforcement of your boundaries is a powerful affirmation of your commitment to yourself.
[00:06:23] Sonia: By setting and respecting your own boundaries, you're not just avoiding triggers, you're actively building the life you want, filled with activities and people that support your sobriety.and this proactive approach to your recovery allows you to remain strong and confident, no matter the social scenario.
[00:06:41] Sonia: Establishing a support plan. So adapting to the seasons by setting up your support squad,
[00:06:47] Sonia: tweaking your support network to fit with the changing seasons can really boost your journey in staying sober, especially when you're up against tougher times like parties or summer festivals. [00:07:00] And if you think these events might test your resolve, it's smart to amp up your attendance at support meetings as they draw closer.
[00:07:08] Sonia: Keeping tight with your sober circle is key. They're your go to crew for guidance, pep talk, or just a sympathetic ear when things get tricky. Knowing they're just a call or message away can really take the edge off any worries about diving back into the social waters.
[00:07:24] Sonia: Here's how you can beef up your support plan. So reach out early before you RSVP to an event, touch base with your support network. I do. Share thoughts and concerns about the event. This chat isn't just comforting, it strengthens your commitment to stay sober. set check in times plan to check in with your support person before, during, and after the event, these little touch points can be your emotional anchor, keeping you grounded and secure throughout the festivities leverage technology can't meet face to face.
[00:07:57] Sonia: No problem. A quick text phone [00:08:00] call or video chat can fill the gap. And don't forget about the new slew of apps and online platforms out there Designed to keep support right at your fingertips. And one of those is our very own Everbloom. Support goes both ways. While you're leaning on friends,
[00:08:17] Sonia: Remember, be there for them helping each other out, not only build stronger bonds, but it also bolsters your own sobriety, have a backup plan, know what to do. If you hit a rough patch, maybe it's a code word with a friend for a quick exitor a set of steps to follow.
[00:08:33] Sonia: If you feel overwhelmed. Mine is usually not very stealth. It's like. Hey, this sucks. Can we leave? But by opening your worries and pumping up your support systems, you're setting yourself up not just for one event, but for ongoing successes. This proactive vibe means you're never flying solo on your recovery journey.
[00:08:56] Sonia: It's all about staying comfortable and confident as you navigate the [00:09:00] seasonal shifts in your recovery path
[00:09:02] Sonia: new traditions. This is my favorite. Setting up new traditions with your friends and family that sidestep alcohol can really freshen up your social life and strengthen your connections.
[00:09:13] Sonia: Here are some ideas to kick booze centered hangouts for activities that everyone can get excited about. Hit the trails. Why not catch the sunrise with a morning hike? It's an awesome way to soak up some nature and chat with your pals.
[00:09:29] Sonia: The walk will wake you up better than any coffee can. A picnic in the park. Throw a sober picnic with loads of tasty treats and fancy fizzy drinks. Bring along some games or frisbee for some playful competition. It is a way to spend a relaxing sunny afternoon together. Sweat it out together.
[00:09:49] Sonia: Organize a group workout like a yoga session
[00:09:52] Sonia: or even a dance class. It's fun, keeps you fit. And the group laughs will definitely be memorable [00:10:00] craft and create planning craft night where everyone makes something, whether it's your homemade candles, painted pots or friendship bracelets, it's a great way to get your creativity flowing.
[00:10:10] Sonia: And these are actually good activities for any time of year.
[00:10:15] Sonia: Experiment with new recipes and maybe find your new favorite treat. Plus everyone gets to eat the results. It's a win win. Again, another good one for any time of year. Movies and game nights. Rotate hosting a movie or game night where the focus is on the fun and not on the drinks.
[00:10:34] Sonia: Everyone gets a turn to pick a movie or game, keeping things fresh and exciting. By weaving these new sober activities into your life, you're not just avoiding alcohol, you're act you're actively building a joyful, healthier lifestyle. Each new tradition is a chance to make lasting memories that support your sobriety journey, all while having a blast with people you care about.
[00:10:58] Sonia: Keeping non [00:11:00] alcoholic options handy can be your go to party strategy. We talk about this a lot at Sisters in Sobriety. Making sure you've got a stash of non alcoholic drinks can be a real game changer, especially when you're out mingling at parties or hosting one yourself. Here's how you can keep things light and easy. Stock your stash, fill your fridge with a bunch of fun, non alcoholic options. Think of sparkling waters with a twist, fruity sodas, or even non alcoholic beers or wines. the selection is incredible. This way, you're always ready to grab and go. We have a bunch of mocktail reviews of non alcoholic beverages on other episodes of sisters in sobriety, master some mocktails whip up some mocktails, whether it's a fancy ginger peach spritzer or a cool berry smash.
[00:11:51] Sonia: Having your signature drink, not only keeps things interesting, but it might also wow your. friends and we have a bunch of drink [00:12:00] recipes on our sisters in sobriety sub stack and bring extra to share. If you're heading to a get together, pack extra drinks to share. It's a nice way to introduce your friends to new flavors and it ensures you've got plenty of good stuff to drink.
[00:12:15] Sonia: Set up a sober station. If you're hosting, create a special spot for non alcoholic drinks and label it. So everyone knows what they're experiencing. It's a really thoughtful way to make sure all your guests whether or not they're drinking, feel included.
[00:12:29] Sonia: Find your favorites, have fun sampling the different non alcoholic beverages until you find what you really love. It's great to have a few favorites that you can look forward to enjoying. Keep a backup. Toss a non alcoholic drink in your bag or keep one in the car. it's your emergency kit for when options might be scarce.
[00:12:48] Sonia: Ensuring you're never stuck without something tasty to sip on. I have had this happen to me multiple times and I usually travel at least with a large Pellegrino bottle in my car. [00:13:00] By keeping these non alcoholic options at the ready, you're setting yourself up for success.
[00:13:05] Sonia: You get to socialize, enjoy the party, and stick to your sobriety,
[00:13:09] Sonia: all while having your favorite drink in hand. It's all about planning ahead so that you can relax and have fun when you're out and about. Soaking up the sun and self care, embracing the great outdoors. There is nothing like warm weather to kickstart a whole bunch of fun and restorative outdoor activities.
[00:13:30] Sonia: Whether you're getting your hands dirty in the garden, joining a local sports team, or just chilling with a pet. Book in the park stepping outside is a fantastic way to boost your mood and keep your recovery on a positive path. here's some ideas on how to make the most out of the sunny days.
[00:13:47] Sonia: Gardening, there is something so satisfying about planting your own little green haven, whether you're growing veggies, flowers, or just sprucing up your space. Gardening is a great way to connect with [00:14:00] nature and see the fruits or flowers, get it, of your labor.
[00:14:04] Sonia: Joining a sports league. Ever thought about joining a recreational sports team? I haven't, but it's a great excuse to enjoy the outdoors and make some new friends. Plus it's all about the fun. No need to be super competitive unless that's of course your thing. Reading in the park, grab your favorite book and find a cozy spot under a tree and see simple pleasures that help you relax and maybe even escape to another world for a few hours.
[00:14:30] Sonia: nature walks or hiking, hit a local tail trail and let nature do its thing. Hiking or just a gentle stroll can clear your mind and refresh your spirit. It's like hitting the reset button. Outdoor yoga or meditation. Take your mat outside for yoga or meditation.
[00:14:47] Sonia: Doing these practices in a park or your backyard can really enhance the peaceful vibes. Birdwatching or photography. If you enjoy being in a bit of nature, if you enjoy being a bit of a nature detective or love [00:15:00] snapping beautiful scenes, birdwatching or photography can be super rewarding. it's all about the little details and surprises nature has in store.
[00:15:09] Sonia: Picnics. Why not plan a picnic? You can go solo or invite friends, lay out your favorite snacks, enjoy the fresh air, and have a lovely time outdoors. By weaving these activities into your routine, you're enriching your life with joy and serenity. These outdoor adventures can become your new go to for fun and relaxation, helping you cultivate a healthy, happy, and sober lifestyle. So go on, get out there and enjoy the beautiful day. It is waiting for you.
[00:15:38] Sonia: As we wrap up today's question from SP, remember that feeling nervous about seasonal changes is understandable, but with awareness, planning, and support, you can fully enjoy all that the warmer months have to offer. Sober and strong. Continue to build your toolbox of strategies, lean on your network, and most importantly, celebrate every step you take in [00:16:00] sobriety.
[00:16:00] Sonia: We're all in this together and every challenge is an opportunity to strengthen your journey. Stay sober, stay strong, and I'll see you in the next episode bye, sisters.