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This is a podcast for anyone feeling stretched thin by work, activism, caregiving, or just surviving under systems that weren’t built for our thriving. On Balm in the Burnout, we speak with artists, organizers, and community builders about what’s helping us stay grounded and resourced in the face of burnout. Together, we reclaim our right to soothe, heal, and make hopeful, sustainable action.
[00:00:00]
Megan: Welcome to Balm in the Burnout- a podcast for cross-sector people and professionals navigating personal and systemic burnout. Whether you're a doctor, educator, farmer, caregiver, or simply trying to survive under the weight of broken systems. This podcast is here to offer solace, strategy, and solidarity.
Welcome back to Balm in the Burnout. I'm your host, Megan Hadley, a health coach, mindfulness instructor and teacher based in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and today I am so excited to have Talaya Dendy with me. I'm gonna read Talaya's Bio.
Imagine facing [00:01:00] cancer with greater emotional strength, unwavering confidence, and the support needed to navigate the healthcare system effectively.
Talaya Dendy, a seasoned cancer thriver and board- certified patient advocate emotionally supports, guides, and advocates for people facing significant health related experiences and major life changes associated with a cancer diagnosis. As a cancer doula, she offers a deeply empathetic and expertly informed approach to the often overlooked and rarely discussed emotional burdens of a cancer diagnosis.
Talaya helps individuals and their families foster resilience, providing them with practical guidance and tools to confidently advocate for their needs throughout their cancer journey. She is also the host of [00:02:00] Navigating Cancer TOGETHER, a podcast that shares raw and honest conversations, true stories and valuable perspectives on the hidden struggles no one talks about, including the emotional rollercoaster and the quiet victories of a cancer journey.
Talaya is a 2025 Bush Fellow, AIR Media New Voices AMPLIFY '25 Fellow, a 2025 Cancer Health 25 Patient Advocate, and was named one of HushLoudly's Gamechangers: Introverts to Watch in 2025, as an introverted leader who is raising awareness and increasing understanding of individual differences. Well, my, oh my, Talaya, you have been and are and will be so much. So I am just so honored to have you with us to share your insights today.
Talaya: Thank you, Megan. It's an [00:03:00] honor to be here with you today. Thank you.
Megan: Yeah. I would love to start us off by my favorite question I ask my guests, which is to share a moment when you felt really present lately.
Talaya: That is a wonderful question, Megan, and I have to say my mom's birthday was last Thursday the 19th. And so we went out to lunch. My mom, my brother and I all went out to lunch. We watched a movie and I did not think about work probably for the first time in a good year. And so that's when I felt really present.
Just enjoying the moment, enjoying the food, enjoying the conversation.
Megan: Hmm. Thank you for that. And happy birthday to your mother.
Talaya: Thank you. Thank you. I'll be sure to let her know. And just to add to that also, just being with them, being with people who really know you and appreciate you that's such a blessing and a wonderful time to be present.
Megan: Yeah. It takes away the [00:04:00] burdens of, like you said, work the things we have committed ourselves to, and you can just be in relationship.
Talaya: Yes. So true.
Megan: Well, we are both, you know, people in the health world have our own deeply personal beliefs and experiences on health and wellbeing. But I would love to hear just your frame that you bring to your work on health and wellbeing.
Talaya: For me, Megan, Health and Wellbeing, it isn't something that is just physical. It's emotional, spiritual, financial, so many other different things. The work that you do what you put out into the world. All of those things are about health and wellbeing to me, and I feel like I'm at my peak health and wellbeing.
When several of the things on the wellness wheel are in sync. So for example, my physical is matching my emotional or mental state, [00:05:00] I'm thriving in the work that I'm doing. And so to me that is what health and wellness means, is that you're thriving you're enjoying what you're doing and you feel good doing the things that you're doing as well.
So it's. It's also ongoing, I must say. It's not a certain, you know, today I'm in great health and wellbeing. No, it's something that's ongoing and I think it's something that we never quite get a hundred percent. It's something that we're always working towards. We might get a couple things in alignment but it's not something to feel bad about either if you don't feel like everything is just perfect.
So that's kind of my definition ongoing. And, it's more than physical.
Megan: Yeah, that's so helpful. And I feel like especially with that cancer understanding, right, some kind of deep condition where you've experienced just the judges of what it pulls up for you and it isn't just physical. And I think that ongoing [00:06:00] piece is really important as well as what I heard of that kind of anti perfectionist, right?
Like the goal isn't 10 out of 10 in every area,
Talaya: yes, and I think for me, Megan, that's so important because that is something that I've struggled with. I'm a recovering perfectionist, as they say, and so sometimes I have to be really mindful, like Talaya is the message that matters. It doesn't have to be, you know, perfect and so polished and everything.
And so not aiming for that really helps me be at my best health and wellbeing because I'm not so hard on myself.
Megan: Yeah, there's more self-compassion and flexibility and presence.
Talaya: Yes, presence.
Megan: Well, I read about your work, but I would love to hear it just in your own words, like what are these important things you're doing in accomplishing in the world right now?
Talaya: Sure. So in terms of being a cancer doula, I say that I use my [00:07:00] experience to emotionally support, guide and advocate for people going through major life changes and significant health related experiences associated with a cancer diagnosis. So that looks like providing emotional support, that looks like helping people to navigate the healthcare system as well as their loved ones.
That looks like helping them to find resources that are specific to their needs. That looks like providing hands-on emotional support helping them to find a second opinion if they desire to find that. So it is so many different things, Megan, and it really. Is dependent upon what that person's needs are.
So support for me could look different for everyone.
Megan: Yeah, and it's helpful to hear, again, in your own words, the wide array of services and what that ends up looking like for people. Right. I think so often there's just a narrow focus on like, okay, I get a diagnosis, I do what my doctors [00:08:00] tell me.
Talaya: yes.
Megan: and there's so much more to that lived experience.
What's possible, what's available in integrative health, and then just personally what you're going through.
Talaya: Yes. And you mentioned integrative health, and I think it's so important for people to understand that you don't have to do traditional treatment alone, or you don't have to just go the natural or the what's the word I'm looking for? Not complimentary, but alternative route. You don't have to just do one or the other.
You can combine them and do traditional treatment as well as integrative therapies like yoga, tai chi, journaling. There's so many different things, and that is another thing is just helping people to understand what's out there that they can look into and explore. And it can really help to. And minimize some of those side effects from the treatment itself.
Megan: Yeah. And what incredible [00:09:00] permission giving you are granting to the people you work with to explore and find something that works for them, something that likely the care team is grateful for. Like, oh, you're taking initiative here to figure things out.
Talaya: Right. And then also Megan, it's important, and I must say this. To say I don't diagnose, treat, or any of those things. I am really there for the client, the patient, but I'm also there to partner with their healthcare team to make sure that they are getting the 360 care and support that they need. The other thing that's so important is focusing on that emotional aspect because that is often forgotten.
The healthcare team, the oncologist, they're so focused on treating the cancer that, you know, they really don't have time to look at the whole person and say, Hey, you know, how are you really feeling? How is all of this impacting you? And just really [00:10:00] digging deep. So I just really want people to understand that aspect of it as well.
Megan: Yeah, you're speaking to our scope as nationally, board certified health and wellness coaches, right? That we don't claim to diagnose or treat or direct anyone in their care. And there's still so much possible, and I'm curious as you talk about that 360 degree care. For the clients you're working with, how do you is there opportunity to connect with their kind of Western care teams and what does that look like as you support them?
Talaya: You know, that has really been a challenge. And so what I do is really, I work with them, the patient. And so what they do is. They sign, a release form that I have just saying, Hey, I'm given Talaya the right to look at my records. And they'll either let me go into their chart and just kind of see what's been shared with them.
Or they'll print out things or they'll just pull it [00:11:00] up when we're in a session and they'll, and we'll talk through it. And so that's how we work together. Every once in a while there will be a client that I work with. And their provider, their healthcare team, you know, wants to know, well, how are they doing emotionally?
And so there's still a lot of work, Megan, to make that come together. And that's really unfortunate because there's so much benefit to the client, the patient, when they have that outside emotional support along with the traditional healthcare support because it just makes it. A lot easier for the patient, the client, and it improves their outcomes.
So that is still an uphill battle. I wish more doctors and healthcare teams were on board, but I'm sure you may have experienced this as well, being a health and wellness coach, that sometimes there is that [00:12:00] disconnect there.
Megan: Absolutely. I work with people who experience chronic pain in the pain coaching work that I contract with, and it's so fascinating. Yeah, there's. There's some people who are willing to kind of send information one way, like, here's the release, you get my information. But that interest and level of integration of what's happening outside isn't always there.
Right? If we had them upload every notes that we send to their EMR, imagine the. The administrative burden of that, and they don't have workflows for taking care of the whole person. Like you're saying, it would take a lot of chart review and you think people deserve that, but Right. It's not necessarily an easy path to get that communication to go from one way to two way.
Talaya: Exactly, and I really hope that the healthcare system allows for that to happen. But I know there's so many changes and so [00:13:00] much work to get that. Going in the right direction. But you know, whenever a provider is open to talking with me, I'm definitely open to talking with them. And I encourage, you know, my, my clients to share and say, Hey, I'm working with a cancer doula.
Here's how we're working together so that they can understand and even see and recognize maybe the changes that's occurring in their patient.
Megan: That's so important. Yeah. Just allowing you to be a part of that patient story and giving them permission to, Hey, if this feels important to share with your providers, you're absolutely welcome. You know, bring your action steps, show them what we're accomplishing together. Ask if they have ideas of things that they could work on with you.
You know, really getting them more involved.
Talaya: Absolutely. Absolutely. It just works out best in the patient, client's interest, in their healing and their overall wellbeing.
Megan: Yep. [00:14:00] Well, maybe in 10 years, 20 years, we'll look back at this podcast and say, we wanted it. Now it's here. Right. We're consistently fighting for that world, aren't we?
Talaya: Yes.
Megan: Speaking of, you know, I'm curious just what burnout looks like either for someone like you who's similar to me, right? We're entrepreneurs in the health and wellbeing space, or just, as someone who has experienced cancer, like what is that sense of burnout experience like for you?
Talaya: Sure. So you know, Megan, for me, I feel it physically first before my mind has even accepted. That is burnout. And so for me, I'm more tired, more fatigued sometimes just brain fog, irritability. Those are the things that I feel, you know, when I'm entering into burnout. And then eventually my mind will say, you know, I'm doing too much.
Let me just back [00:15:00] up. Take a break, regroup. And that is kind of the process that I have to go through, but I feel it physically first, and because now that I'm aware that it starts in my body first, and it takes a moment for my mind to catch up because I'm so focused on doing this, supporting this, and being, and doing all these things that.
I don't allow myself enough time to really think about it, but what I do now is that okay, if I feel like, you know, I don't have a lot of patience today, what's going on? And so I'm more mindful and then I'll kind of pause and say, okay, what? What's going on around me? Do I feel like I'm overwhelmed? Do I feel like I'm being pulled in too many directions and then that will help me course correct?
Megan: Yeah, and I appreciate hearing that description. It resonates with my experience. I know everyone is gonna experience burnout differently. It's the whole point of the podcast to just [00:16:00] socialize the idea and let the stories come out. But having that awareness in the body and noticing. Oh, here are some of the things that happened in my body when this pattern is coming up for me.
And having the self-reflection practice to say, Hmm, what does that mean? Should do I wanna do anything different about this? Right. And I feel like that's what our work, you know, with people can provide is that accountability.
Talaya: Yes.
Megan: To have self-reflection and say, Ooh, what my body's telling me. Is inspiring me to take action.
What could that look like?
Talaya: Yeah, and you know, Megan, I would say that, I will say that, prior to being diagnosed with cancer, I would've never made that connection.
Megan: Hmm.
Talaya: I would've never slowed down long enough to say, Hey, my body is telling me something. And so a lot of the things that I know today are learnings out of that very tough [00:17:00] experience.
And I wanna make sure people understand that, we all go through these really hard challenges in life, but there's things you can take away from that that can help you moving forward.
Megan: Yep. I have definitely run into folks who, yeah, there's that resistance to slowing down because it means that everything's gonna come up and that concern or uncertainty if they can actually handle everything that comes up when they do slow down.
Talaya: Yes, yes.
Megan: sounds like your cancer diagnosis made you face that head on.
Talaya: I had to face it head on in order to move forward and in order to get through this. This heavy, big thing that was staring me in the face. And so I really had to shift my mindset in a number of different ways in a number of different areas in my life. And so I just wanna encourage people when you feel that thing, whatever that is for you, just try to take some [00:18:00] time to pause and, jot down and journal what you're feeling, what you're hearing.
What you're thinking and it's okay is it's you, but it's so important to get in tune with your body because that's gonna help you better advocate for yourself as well. If something pops up in your health that doesn't feel right. And so it's so important to sit there with whatever you're feeling in your body and let and give it time to reach your brain
Megan: Mm-hmm.
Talaya: you know, and then just really.
Figure out your next course of action based on what you're feeling and thinking and all of those things. 'cause it all works together.
Megan: It does. And I think what I really appreciate about what you're describing and even just how you're, how you model this way of being is just taking it slowly. Taking that time, and [00:19:00] that's very counter-cultural to our American culture, right?
Talaya: Yes. Yeah. And there's times where I felt guilty
Megan: Mm-hmm.
Talaya: and, but see that's the mindset, that's the societal norm. We're told that you have to be doing, producing, creating in order to be valuable, and that's simply not true. You know, just think about it. If you don't have your health, you can't do any of those things anyway.
Megan: Yeah. Hmm. So that inherent worth really comes up for people.
Talaya: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Megan: And I wanna dive into that, just knowing we're recording this in June and it's National Cancer Survivor Month. Tell us what's important about honoring this month.
Talaya: Yes. Thank you for that question. You know, it's really Megan, about the. Perseverance, the resilience, [00:20:00] the strength and durability and duality of a cancer journey, as well as the survivors, the people that have gone on that journey, and it's just acknowledging that, hey, they. Have gone through something really tough and they've made it on the other side of that thing, you know, and they're still here to tell their story, but it's also honoring those who are no longer here that face cancer.
And just because they're no longer here with us, it does not mean that they failed in some way or they lost. That's not what that means. Also, national Cancer Survivor Month is about advocacy. It is about, shedding light on cancer research and the importance of that as well as clinical trials and it.
My favorite part is it's about community and it's about coming together with other people who may share [00:21:00] similar stories, similar experiences, and being able to say, Hey, I see you. I understand what you've been through to some degree. And finally Megan, it is about really giving hope to those who are coming behind us.
Maybe it's people who just got a fresh cancer diagnosis. Maybe it's people who are in the throes of treatment and they're really struggling, and so all of those things are wrapped up into what National Cancer Survivor Month means to me.
Megan: Hmm. That's so big. I so appreciate you just explaining and what it means from your heart. Right to be in community, to hold up and honor and remember those who've passed, and to reframe that and to honor everyone who's currently experiencing cancer, moving through that process [00:22:00] in their own way and the research side.
I mean, that feels ever important these days.
Talaya: It is very important, Megan, and sadly, a lot of funding is getting cut in that area right now, and so that means that there are millions of people who you know, may not benefit from research and extending their lives. Also, it's important because. We need more diverse people participating in clinical trials because sometimes we may res respond differently to a threat therapy or treatment that they're working on.
And so for example, if a black person doesn't participate in clinical trials, how do we know that therapy or that medicine is gonna work for black people? And so I think it's so important for people to just really understand what, clinical [00:23:00] research and clinical trials are their benefits, but then also acknowledging the past traumas associated with black people and medical care, research and all of those things.
And so it's complicated. It's complicated, but it's necessary because, you know, just having the availability to participate in a clinical trial or the opportunity, it can actually save your life and it can actually save the lives of generations to come. And so that's one thing that I really wanted to touch on as well in terms of that research piece.
Megan: Yeah, there's definitely a discrepancy in the research and many, most sectors of research. You know, there's populations that are getting funding that are receiving priority. That are deemed, more ready for research or whatever it may be. [00:24:00] And we see this too in like physical exercise for example.
There was a really long time before they even. Started studying women's bodies with physical exercise. So I think understanding the benefits of research, but also the complicated nature of what that may mean to bring in a community that hasn't been brought in before in a safe way. In a way that honors their experience and doesn't cause harm.
So how do we build those research opportunities and call in those communities, demand funding, all the advocacy work that we can do so that it all aligns and we get that information that can be so helpful for our current and future thriving.
Talaya: Yeah it's something that takes a lot of work.
Megan: Mm-hmm.
Talaya: It takes a lot of collaboration. It takes a lot of awareness [00:25:00] and truth
Megan: Mm-hmm.
Talaya: and it's tar, it's hard, it's tough, you know, because so much harm has been done and it's really, it's really full of trauma to be quite frank, and that is something that is not going to. Go away overnight over in the next 20 years or whatever, because those things still keep happening. And so that's really hard to say, Hey, I think you should participate in this clinical trial. Medical research is really important and here's why. But there's still stories coming out of people who have been mistreated.
In terms of research, in terms of healthcare, even just standard healthcare, you know? So it's gonna take some time.
Megan: It is, and thank you so much for [00:26:00] voicing that complexity. I think some people dilute things into a good or bad, type of world, and hearing how much would need to come. To be and come together and some reconciliation work that needs to happen. Some really intentional community-based participatory research, almost vibes I'm getting with the scientific rigor of a randomized control trial or the best, study based on what you're researching.
See, I would need people in every field doing that work.
Talaya: Yeah, we need diverse people in every field, because that's where a lot of the trust and understanding is gonna come in as well. You know? It's easy for me to acknowledge what happened because I'm a black woman, but for a white person, it may not be as easy to acknowledge and say, Hey, I understand your hesitancy because [00:27:00] of.
What, you know, what happened in the past with Henrietta Lacks and and so on, and so the Tuskegee Airmen and so on and so on. So having that diversity is really important as well.
Megan: Yeah. Thank you for bringing them into this conversation too. I think that's really important.
Talaya: Absolutely.
Megan: Hmm. Well, as we. Move towards the end of our conversation here. I'd love to hear just a little more specifically something that you do personally to reduce your risk of burnout on a regular day.
Talaya: Yeah, so for me, Megan, being an introvert as well as, you know, with the heavy work that I do, it's so important for me to just start the day, even if it's like 15, 20 minutes and start the day just being,
Megan: Mm-hmm.
Talaya: not thinking about what is on my list for [00:28:00] today. Not thinking about, oh, I gotta get back to this person.
What am I gonna cook for dinner? But just being, and that looks like sitting still. That just looks like acknowledging my breath. That just looks like Talaya, you're gonna kill it today. And I mean that in a good way, you know? And so that's really how I like to start my day. And then at the end of the day, I like to just say, job well done.
And again, getting that being phase where I'm just still, I'm quiet. I'm not thinking about what I need to do tomorrow or any of that. I'm just there and I'm reflecting a little bit, just taking deep breaths and whatever, however the day look like to lay a job well done because we don't hear that often.
Megan: Mm-hmm.
Talaya: And as I said earlier in our conversation, sometimes we're the hardest on [00:29:00] ourselves and you know, maybe I just did not get all the things done on the list today, and that's okay. But to lay a job well done. And so that's how I like to start and end my day. Just to, so to show self appreciation.
Megan: Yeah, a beautiful illustration of kind of the coaching approach too, right? Of just mindful presence. Self-reflection, affirmation,
Talaya: Mm-hmm.
Megan: right? You're giving yourself that medicine. You so often share with others.
Talaya: Yes, absolutely. We have to take care of ourselves as well.
Megan: Yes, we do. You heard it here first, folks, right?
Talaya: of yourself.
Megan: Please. Oh my goodness. Well, if there was one takeaway that our listeners could hold with them after hearing this, what do you think that would be?
Talaya: Yes. I would say Megan, we all go through challenges in life, but on the other [00:30:00] side of those challenges are lessons in life. The, there's always something to be learned and really how you get through something. Your final outcome of a challenge is based on your mindset, is based on your perspective.
And so there's this, my, one of my favorite quotes is by Lena Horne. And she says, it's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way that you carry it. And that quote really helped me to get through what I was going through with my cancer diagnosis and other challenges that have come up in life since then.
And it really helped me to get re-centered about how I was looking at this thing and what could I potentially learn from it. And so just being mindful. Of your attitude, of your perspective when those challenges come? 'cause they're gonna come and sometimes back to back, but just kind of get in the [00:31:00] mind frame of, okay, how am I looking at this thing?
How am I allowing this to shape my perspective and do I need to change that? And so I would say to you, just be mindful of your thoughts, especially during those tough times because. It's not the challenges that break you down, it's the way that you look at them.
Megan: Wow. That quote is just astounding. Thank you for sharing. I'm gonna add it to my wall. I just, I felt differently after I heard that, honestly.
Talaya: Yes.
Megan: Ooh, that's good.
Talaya: Thank you. I love it. Thanks to Lena Horne.
Megan: I, yes, thanks to Lena Horne and really Talaya, thank you so much for the work that you do in our community with your patients, your clients, the advocacy work that you do. I know that people with cancer can feel quite alone, right? There's so many kinds of cancers. [00:32:00] There's such stigma. There's so much to navigate. You dedicating your life to this work? I'm sure it just feels like when they find, when people find you, there just must be, a burden taken off of them too.
Talaya: Yes, that's the goal, to lighten their load. Megan, thank you so much for having me and giving me the opportunity to just talk about burnout and the work that I do. I appreciate it.
Megan: Yeah. And we'll be sharing some of your links that you've offered to us. So before we go you have the community forum wait list. Why don't you tell us what this is about?
Talaya: Yes, Megan. This is something that I am working on. It's an online platform and it's dedicated to cancer survivors, current patients in treatment as well as caregivers. And I envision this platform being a place where people can come. Offline, but online in a private space off of social media. And they can just [00:33:00] talk about whatever it is that they're going through.
You know, they can talk about some things that they need supporting each other. Just having those really tough conversations in the privacy of an online platform. And of course there'll be resources and. Helpful information as well. So really it goes back to that community, but community in a very safe space.
Megan: Yeah, what an important space you're building so people can sign up to be on the wait list and hear. Be the first people in the door when you make that live. How exciting.
Talaya: thank you.
Megan: And as a reminder Talaya has her own podcast. It is a joy to listen to hearing your calming voice and talk about these important topics with people.
So check that out. Again, that's Navigating Cancer TOGETHER. And Talaya's website is on the other side. Life. And we'll share her LinkedIn profile too, so you can connect [00:34:00] professionally if you wanna keep the conversation going.
Talaya: Thank you, Megan. I appreciate it.
Megan: Yeah. Thanks, Talaya.
Balm in the Burnout is a listener supported podcast made possible by my work at Harvest Health and Wellbeing. If you'd like to support this project or contribute to a community scholarship, you can leave a tip on Venmo at HHW -LLC. Thanks for listening and see what you can restore and alchemize today.