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In the kitchen, a fey raccoon-prince named Raki is hacksawing a waiter in half. Rahua, also a king, negotiates a formal parking-lot duel at Mutton King. Deeper in, a stitched-flesh golem melts to alchemist's fire, Vena pirouettes onto her own rapier and impales a kidney, and a hallway of mocking portraits shows the party as wanted posters.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
all righty chat are you ready for another exciting episode of rot grind
i should probably look at my microphone yui how bad was it how bad was it
could have been worse i think next intro we could uh i just need one of you to like just just lose
your mind as if like all the stress of the world has finally got to you and just have like a trash
bad you just out of this is a bunch of activity you should everybody else goes dead silent yeah
on a stomach to throat and just see what happens yeah just start puking
as one does i do it i do that every time oh rock runs here
yeah welcome to another exciting episode of rock ring jet thanks for coming back
visiting us remember you can watch us live on youtube and twitch if you're listening to us
either on podcast form or listening or watch listening and or watching the pod on youtube
and stuff like that and also thank you to our patreon supporters at narrative declaration.com
forward slash patreon thank you all for kicking ass and helping us out so crew so folks i would like
to uh it was like one one random thing that's happened i think our our anniversary or so of
finally being partnered on twitch or whatever is coming up next episode so yippee we're doing this
for a good while so thanks everybody for supporting us there but of course your support also helps all
the amazing players here in rock grind starting off with
hello hello i'm odo i'm playing vena the sylph swashbuckler and uh i hope everybody had a happy
thanksgiving i hope you ate just absolutely disgusting amounts of food i know i did because i had to cook
all of it and we've been eating leftovers since thursday i've had so much mac and cheese please
somebody send help yeah we'll have to go to your house and eat it all
uh next up we the one that'll get the first bite is hulky crow that's true i always do and that is me
hulky crow hello again i hope you're staying warm if it's managed to snow near you in the northern
hemisphere it is not yet for me and i'm very happy but i'm just as happy to be back here
i'll of course be playing the kanrasu cleric rahua and yeah i'm just i'm i'm thankful that there's not
any more snow on the ground not for another 12 hours at least yeah it was thanksgiving thing that
could be your thing for this one what's everyone thankful for if you want to read you want to take a
hit oh no oh i'm uh i i'm i'm thankful i can't think of a funny bit for this uh i'm thankful for
you guys no i'm thankful to play ttrpgs with my buds wow i'm glad you're here
okay is that the thing you're actually thankful for or we're gonna we're gonna keep that on record
no i mean i am thankful for that but i i i hate doing like bits for this because i am genuinely
grateful for all of you and the opportunities i've been afforded like especially through through this
and all the extremely cool people i've gotten to work with over at the raccoons team and the
extended family from that y'all are wonderful i'm i am blessed to get the opportunities that i do
yeah no worries you don't have to make this one funny but of course the one who busts my guts every
time it's arendelle this is correct i do attack his stomach quite frequently it is to dislodge all
of the organs but it doesn't work his organs are too tough and i am playing i am arendelle and i am
playing as baldrick weathers the human alchemist and what i am thankful for is my beautiful girlfriend
sophie sophie elliott i love her very much no super sweet she's very cool and now i will pass the buck
over to to speaker to say something uh reproachful that will make me sad yeah the one who potentially
might be reproachful and revolutionary is our speaker d hi it's me the reproachable speaker d uh and i am
thankful for oh god i guess it's my turn to be funny well first i take all of you for granted uh i don't
appreciate anything uh that's ever happened to me i deserve everything everything good will just
keep happening to me forever or else um i am thankful for uh global warming gotta keep that up i want i want
more of it i'm thankful for world hunger um yeah i sucks yeah i'm i'm thankful you know how when like
you brush your teeth and then like food tastes terrible for like 30 minutes to an hour afterwards
i'm really thankful for that thank god for that i'm also very thankful for my girlfriend and my
beautiful dog roshi and all of you fucks no whoa that was terrible
is that roshi saying hello to us no that's me attacking pp
and of course we have our illustrious game master thurston human hello it's me it's thurston i i am
you know the uncalled gm and i am thankful for the wrestler mick foley also known as mankind
that's a great thing to be thankful for right yeah absolutely that's everything and i guess my partner
you know jay meet your toes turn they're pretty great you know but also mick foley uh hi everyone
uh good to see you well damn it now i have to shout out my partner that's right no no you you
you fucked that up yeah you had your chance to oh no you had your chance to be sincere and
heartfelt to your loved ones and you chose not to hey you chose we missed the bus that's okay
it's okay hulky you can tell you can tell ollie right now if you want
yeah he's he's napping in the other room he he knows i love him
go punch him just know that it's late go punch him punch him in his kidneys now
hey um hey arendell yeah that's right says please stop with the squeaky toy my dog's going crazy
trying to find it for all the poor bastards with speakers on or listen to us on a tv arendell
could you please uh humor me
please stop punching uli please stop punching uli but it's the only way i can relieve my stress
we don't beat dog here
but um but i am zorn the bear i am your host for this evening i'm playing orin the strict druid
and i'm very thankful to everyone here our amazing community pretty much everybody or so because
without you guys we wouldn't be here so thank you all very much for for chilling with us and stuff and
supporting everything that we do and stuff that it's been able to allow us to go this long and
been able to have tons of laughs make a bunch of goofs all sorts of things so absolutely uh appreciate
every single one of you texas never sugar no no no texas can eat my ass like we're not touching that
but uh with that thurston uh what horrors do you have for us today i don't know someone on a recap
every time you pass it over to me and then i'm like recap and then someone else has to go yeah i'm
allowing you to take control there you're passing the volleyball to thurston and he just spikes it
onto somebody's face i think i think hulky you want to give it a shot this time it's true hulky
hulky did want to give it a shot hulky and erendil so if you guys want to share share it that's fine
with me but no no hulky hulky wanted that hero point apparently i am currently out of hero points
that is true yeah and you clearly don't need them in your current situation
no i i think i'll be okay i think i'll be okay
well erendil do you want to do you want to share this or do you want me to take a stab at first before i
let you get all the funny details no man you go you go and get what you can and i'll fill in the
blanks when it's necessary okay so last time on rot grind the party began their assault on sacristy
manor encountering the security system out in front which happened to be a number of blizzard born
uh the fight was not as straightforward as we initially might have assumed as we definitely
took a lot of damage fighting those funny ice creatures that also had a tendency to explode when
struck despite this we managed to pull through some blindings and freezing nonsense aside and
overcome them making our way to the front door now in the party's typical fashion we attempted to
enter sacristy manor and as it would turn out the owner of the establishment very much likes his traps
and trying to open the door triggered a fireball rune which incinerated everybody but baldric who was
smart enough to not stand in front of the door however yeah we didn't die we managed to make our way
inside to the gilded and gauche interior of the foyer noticing a number of gilded features like two
candlesticks an odd portrait gold statues in the corners of the room
but it would appear entering the room and gazing upon the portrait of a small boy which would end up being
one sandal declin was very very wrong and that portrait was also cursed in some way causing massive
mental damage to some of our party members while eventually overcoming this the horrors indeed kept
coming as from the lower left hand corner of the room emerged upon shiri assassin the same variety
who nearly killed the party two sessions prior however unlike the quan shiri assassins late
shiri assassins this one could in fact speak a change of pace from the previous ones who had their
tongues removed guarantee silence and when this individual spoke they were quite emphatic about the
fact that something is very wrong here that we needed to leave upon closer inspection it was determined
that this assassin could speak by virtue of a rotten lump in their mouth and a abscess which acted as
a tongue but not like a tongue they controlled really the rot allowing them to speak as it were
through our dialogue with them be determined that there is a master above and a master below the one
above being the wonderful party boy sandal and someone in the dark below being cademen furthermore massive and hitherto
possibly unfathomable rot presences nearby that which we are yet to discover is causing terrible things to happen in the mansion some other details you may have learned is that the portrait of sandal on the wall
the portrait of sandal on the wall was earmarked by descriptions bearing the son of the son of the discoverer and the son of the son of the explorer something that will no doubt come to pass or learn more about in the coming hours ahead
the only other note that the only other note that i had from last session is this house is cursed this house is cursed this house is cursed the house is cursed this house is cursed it is all rotten reality is dying inside and that is the summary that i have did i miss anything important
i think the house is cursed is cursed uh it might be there just maybe we need to see no i think i think that's about right uh the only thing that you you ended up missing was that uh the lump in the assassin's mouth at first was not
a lump of rot it was just a normal ass tongue that had somehow been grafted into his mouth but as he attempted to leave
the uh the mansion uh the tongue immediately dissolved into a muck of rot that proceeded to slip
down the back of his throat and nearly kill him we managed to save him and he's now resting uncomfortably
behind the couch at the bottom left of the screen uh we can't see him there we can only pray that he'll be
there when we get back because he's currently stabilized and unconscious oh and we also gave him some
literature yeah you gave him some of course there was no we in that there's always a we in my
literature he's eepy there is no we in revolution there is only an i
how about the revolution you true revolution oh no that's just something that you're supposed to do
interpersonally like in your own special journey no no no no no don't do anything
please don't hurt any cops that's evil tan hauser
all right we return to our group assembled in the foyer of this this this strange manor house
the the quan shear uh fellow is fallen onto the couch all of you sort of had a chance to
you know hover a little bit of your senses from everything that's gone on
there is a moment of of silence as the door has slammed shut and then you hear something it
comes from from the east from you know coming from under the the doors that lead to the south uh east
and the east and the east and you just hear this
hush hush hush hush hush sound
like like uh like footsteps or like somebody is crunching dare i ask
like it's some kind of like crunching sound
oh man i didn't know that sandal's grandpa was an ice chewer
i don't think he is
damn
all right well seeing as how you all have determined that the uh house is quite heavily
trapped with potentially deadly components twice now moving as a group on this or are we fanning out
i think it's best that we stick together i think it would be incredibly bad if one of us
split up stumbled into a trap and uh couldn't get help we are the fucking skimmy duke
please please give me the session where you all scatter to different parts of this manner
i beg you orange saggy gorgamonger scoopy lit up gang
you need to understand i want to view everything that is around and you can absolutely view everything
if you're careful and don't just sprint into the room what you know sometimes sometimes people roll
bad on this program urndil i i don't know if that's ever occurred to you got it you and
rahua will go into one room because you'll have two sets of bad roles going in one direction
which will equal roughly an average role in both directions
all right uh so i imagine i i recall from last time they said that we had to go
up and then from there we could find a means to get down to grandpappy so i believe that we should
probably go up the stairs what is that horrible noise whoever is crunching you can't do that while
i'm monologuing i'm not it's not gonna fly can i can i potentially uh roll anything like perhaps
perception to try to understand what the fuck that noise is sure okie dokie or did you okay yeah yeah
that's um 28 okay uh so first of all you get the impression that if you were like closer to the
doors you'd probably be able to get like a better sense of it and so it's up to you if you'd like to
move closer to one of those two doors yeah sure okay um so yeah this one uh other side other side but
there you go um yeah so so so as you as you go up you couldn't place it sounds like industrial
like cutting like something's being cut like like cooking maybe like food preparation
i hear the sound of industry or perhaps an automated kitchen the height of decadence
that's only the second worst thing to happen here all right
how shall we proceed then to the top of the bottom
well we can figure out what the crunching is and then go upstairs
i can't imagine we're on too much of a time scale i'd rather ensure that we have everything
we need from this floor before we leave
you can remain here as long as you like this place the longer we remain here the more polluted we may
become with rot wait for that to happen um yeah me too i couldn't imagine oh i'm sorry dina uh i'm
going to take one of the health potion blessers from the people's loot okay because i need life
in my body i will heal for 15. sweet slurpers dude pardon hello nothing what i think we gotta get rid of
this guy this this uh you know it's fine it's fine yeah let's just let's just stick together move as a group
if anything spooky happens you know but uh he looks at gorgomonger who is way too big to fit through
most of these doorways he goes yeah like head tilts here uh come on gorgomonger come on boy
and you kind of go you do that and he'll uh have gorgomonger pet cash uh into uh into orange dimension
or whatever and so yeah so we went up the sleeve holy shit powerful
all right let us proceed then and i'm going to open the door and tactically unnecessarily combat
roll into yeah so you you combat roll into a into a hallway with a sort of red carpeted floor the wall
here have um or the walls here are stone there's there's oddly no windows on this uh this this lower
level but what you do see are portraits that are placed um about every five to ten feet um in varying
degrees all of them are blank they they have like just like pitch black in them um no images
of any people the sound seems to be intensifying coming from under this door now all of you can hear
this sort of like
thurston i want to declare this straight away baldrick is taking every capability that he
can to not look at the paintings okay absolutely i'm just gonna say that right now yeah right now
hold a moment you know i smile the smile smile
yeah we are currently on a carpeted surface and i run my hand along it oh is it shag carpet
i
no it's not i don't have a narrative declaration or else i want to be
he's like yeah what about it do you know what happens on carpets or in uh stains yes
especially when people don't wipe their feet oh you are our foremost expert on dirt
he looks down at his bird feet who he's never worn shoes in his life and he's like i feel like i'm
being called out but yeah uh let me you want me to look around for dirt yes perhaps see if anyone left
tracks if there are any of these rotten mutants roaming about they may have left some hint as to
their presence okay uh oren will will kind of like get down and start going as he starts sniffing
around sniffing for for dirt or anything else to try to find uh any evidence of activity i want to
to roll a survival check thurston yeah to track truffle truffle please
that is a 16 plus 16 for a total of 32 thurston what do i get
a 32 is enough for you to tell there is an overpowering smell here um as you're like
stiffing on the floor looking for any kind of tricks it it's it's the smell of of like human body odor
um like tons of sweat and it seems to be just reeking out from this door
which you you then look at and just again hear the
god i'm gonna fucking apologize just summarize detail for me one more time
i had to ban somebody my bad oh no no you're good um you uh you just you just you you smell like human
body odor um like sweat that sort of thing and it's coming from from the like small opening in
the door to the east here where that sound is coming from that ongoing
oran relays the information to everyone going like smells like human stuff
that way and he points to the door that bodes ill oh so the haunted house wasn't enough and now we
have to go to a haunted men's locker room chances are we're about to see something
wretched behind this door prepare yourselves and i'm gonna prepare myself for the sick nasty cool
shit that's in this door okay and you open it okay i've clicked it so i'm pulling it open with
okay so there is a lot going on in this room as you open the door tanhouser oh boy there is a
there is a table uh a banquet table opposite you and though the current map displays a little
candelabra that is not the case instead there is a a human male garbed only in some some underwear
who is strapped to the table his arms and legs pulled in each direction held down by rope there is a
gag in his mouth standing above him is a human-sized animal creature that has a resembles a raccoon and
its eyes are pitch black its mouth seems to have like small trails of gristle each of its arms end in
um or each of its like paws end in black surgical gloves it it is holding an immense hacksaw uh and
wears an apron covered in blood it looks up as you enter into the room
oh hi there is rahua with you
i like his reference
as rahua entered the room yet before he hears this
uh no no i mean you're still back you were kind of following the group so
and the guy on the table he's he's been he's been chopped up or he's about to be chopped up it looks like
he hasn't been chopped yet um which is odd considering the sands
what is the meaning of this creature
rahua are you gonna come in buddy
does rahua recognize this creature or the voice at least are you gonna like are you gonna start
approaching so you can see it
i i mean i'm at the door for him i'll unpause so you can position yourself where you want to be
of course i mean who was at the doorway right now i'm just saying if if he's close enough to here
so like this side yeah
oh okay sorry i was yeah
yeah yeah okay
there we go all right so rahua you step up as tannhauser's kind of like i assume tannhauser's got
this like trepidatious step into this scene yeah i'm stepping in and circling this table this
unsettling creature waves with two of its gloved hands oh there you are come on in
you know this guy rahua i have i have no idea who the
fuck this person is orin oh you're such a kidder
and then the the man on the table begins to like threat
and uh the creature raises the hacksaw and just taps the back of it like onto his just oh none of
that
does does rahua recognize this creature has no idea
can orin roll a nature check and try to recall any knowledge to figure out what the
yeah please please can i roll a bomb into the room you could yeah i will wait
flashbang i rolled a natural 20 so a total of 38. there you go all right so so you are able to
identify what this thing is this this is a fey creature
um it is a one might say a kingly creature oh what uh oh hello it is a it is it is one of
one of the royalty of the sawsorer breed
this type of creature it's a different breed of sawsorer entirely
so that
go ahead go ahead go ahead no
it's your bit streamer it's your bit streamer i i guess he does have a a a
i don't know this yet oh my god you're right orin bull oh my god come up to rahua and try
to do like the lean talking to where where's his ear
well where most ears are which is on his head if he has ears which he doesn't
but yes he can hear from him there it's like do you hear from your orb
lean into the yeah lean into the
lean into the orb
that's one of the other
sorcerer kings
oh do i uh from my check and everything else do i understand of any etiquette i must show
like someone of his stature anything that i would gain from that information to be like hey how can
i best approach this guy this this this creature this regal magnificent being will only treat with other royalty
he's only going to talk to you mr hua he's not going to respect any of our words he is only
going to talk to another king and you became king of the saucers in the swamp so you're the best one to
talk to him that is incredibly helpful information orin i'm going to be entirely honest with you
be on your toes because this creature and sour really quick
ah yes another of the the royal ilk i don't believe that we are acquainted um
i'm stammering for i'm not really sure what or who you are but i get the feeling that you're uh
uh of royal me is that right oh you're such a kid roo of course i am
now what should i call you by oh i'm raki raki the raksa
raki the raksa well it is so nice to meet you and so disconcerting to know that you know of me
already but i suppose word does travel rather quickly along the grapevine as it were of course it
does now why might you be in here in this terrible and dark place what business do you have with
the proprietor of the house i just showed up here then then i found this person here think they were
one of the wait staff they looked at me funny
okay and rahul will look back towards orin the rest of the party
just like i know i don't know if we should go in that room you guys it's not really a good idea
we have to save them and he and orin motions to the guy on the table he's like regardless like for
one you know it'd be a good thing to do and two you know that person might have information we might
need to navigate this whole space falter steps up to rahua since when have you been averse to regicide
oh never i'm just saying if you're not ready to kill this thing then we might want to move
somewhere else although ten house is already locked in there so he might just die anyway
the budget's just gonna toss a little he's gonna toss a lightning bottle in his hand
okay if that's how you want to do it absolutely you're not you're not thinking of hurting me right
now are you rua nonsense raki we merely want to do things no not at all i'm merely consulting with my
royal right
oh all right i didn't realize you needed underlings to figure things out that's okay though you're new here
underlings just try to follow along rua well of course yeah i'm not very good at social situations
but we'll do our best okay i'm okay i'm killing this thing i'm actualizing it my my my liege rihua
could you please perchance inquire so that us underlings could understand um the the courtly
graces that are needed to be had in exchanges like this and orin's just trying to like posture in a way to
basically to do the role of underlings so they look less threatening but of course we could always
position better if he doesn't think we're a threat and also potentially it's information to be like hey
this i'm assuming this raccoon wants for who to do something or go down a particular way of doing
things or like trying to give her who a more of a leeway to do that of course i think i think that's
pretty obvious as there's some kind of some kind of tail-a-tat to navigate with this kind of
creature here yes well i do have underlings myself you must understand as a member of royalty
that we cannot possibly be everywhere at every time and place they carry out some of the more menial
tasks for me such as acquiring information but please if you're so versed in courtly graces
i am keen to learn just as much as you are oh how we navigate this especially with our our guest here on
the table oh well you you said it that's right you know i like getting information too i just get it in a
different way he once again taps the back of the hacksaw on the man's chest and the man like his eyes
turn towards you tan i was like i i make eye contact i give him a nod so he knows
well no if you're if you're looking to do a little bit of regicide today well that's just not gonna happen
here friend well if we do it we have to do it in the right place
well we needn't jump straight to exchanging blows unless of course that is how the
there is the savoir faire of fey royalty then by all means i'm happy to learn
well it's gonna happen because now that you're part of the royalty well now we all get to be in
in the scuffle together after all one of us has to win the prize the the prize the last king left
oh god it's highlander there can only bear one
oh is is the prize just getting to live past all the other kings no that'd be silly there's an actual
prize oh i do like prizes okay i mean where where's the proper time and place so we can uh
uh talk things out as it were as fey folk do a fall guys tournament stage just falls down
navigate this obstacle to get the crown
fuck fuck fuck i'm so bad at fall guys
well i think you're a bit busy here uh this seems real important for you
i just came in because you know i just i just got pulled in here i don't know why seems kind of
strange really but i'm glad i got to meet you here no but if if you want to want to do it right and
proper well i'll meet you in the mutton king parking lot
uh yes the place where all royalties settles their differences slugging it out of fast food
restaurant okay i'm gonna i'm gonna rule some occultism is this like an actual fey ritual or is
this just the guy pretending like fighting in a denny's parking lot is a fey ritual
this is an actual thing that fey would do
mutton king is a sacred place the many people in the city about said
i don't mean to alarm you but this guy is not just a psychopath there is actual fey magic involved
in the mutton king parking lot you're kidding me no i am not kidding i wish i were
okay well i guess i'll see you there but uh you don't need the the one on the table right we kind
of need him for right now but he's my friend yeah no but i don't care if he's your friend i need him
i don't know about that you're not a great you're not a great diplomat sometimes you know that
i don't know no yeah no shut up not i don't want to take diplomacy i'm a fucking tree
try harder you ever heard of arbor day
all right uh ruhu is going to enter the room
and ruhu is going to reach into his chest cavity pull out 10 gold i'm going to pay you 10 gold to
fuck off right now what i need this guy i don't know if you you use gold at all i don't know pay it
to make pay somebody else do cruel things on it i i need this one i'm not leaving here well he holds
up one of his hands with a with like a single digit up in the air whoa
you said it you said today's magic word cruel he comes hopping towards you
you did it you got the magic word i i i did or that's right or incline get my blessing
come on give me a little high five
goodness for that rahua will give raki a high five cool uh you feel
uh strange uh strange uh strange energies uh pulse through you and uh you gain the quickened
condition until i say otherwise oh it's just like prom night
explain to know what you mean by that i don't want to
wow thank you raki i can't wait to lose this once we come fight each other in the parking lot of mutton
king oh that's right and i'm not gonna hold back i wouldn't expect anything less
oh but you want this one don't you yeah we kind of need him for right now if you come back a little
bit later maybe you can have him but we just need to kind of like
rahua will motion as if ringing out a towel you know information squeeze it out of him you know you
know how these things go well walk it out he holds up the hacksaw no no we don't need to take off any
parts of him i was practicing on the back of these chairs how bad the back of the chairs look oh they're
just like all cut to shit now that he's pointed it out
no i i'm sweating real good seems like a little bit of a squirmy one
we'll definitely take that under advisement but i don't think we need to dismember him just
yet but thank you for the offer dismemberment maybe maybe later maybe later like like a finger
maybe later that we i don't know how much he's going to stand maybe he'll just explode if he loses
one finger point oh look at him i think he might just melt into a puddle if we cut off one of his
fingers that wouldn't be very fun would it well it could be a little bit
look there are plenty of other people in this manner to cut into pieces which we might do later
on anyway but right now we need this one
like the man's head turns back to raki begins nodding fingers
oh i mean maybe it's kind of bumming me out i thought you'd be more fun
you think i'd be more fun you should have seen me back in the swamp we had a lot more fun out there
well maybe another time we'll get to engaging in the cruelty you no doubt enjoy
but as of right i'll make you a deal you can talk to him but he stays here i'm gonna need something to
do around this place
for who is going to reach up to where his nose would be if he had a nose on his face
and pinch it and closes one
eye ocular as it were okay okay fine he stays in the room you can do whatever you want with him
maybe later but we do need him in one piece for right now
all right we have a deal all right stop he like goes and like pulls the gag out of the
and the man just like oh that's such a nice sound raki starts walking i'm gonna go into the pantry
and get myself some spices have a laugh he walks away
oh oh but the gods you have to get me out of here please please why did you make a deal with him
because look he was probably going to aggro us anyway if he comes back we can try and get him
out of here in advance but at least for right now let's try and get whatever information we can
fame magic is infamous for its ability to empower deals oh i was cleaning the windows shut up
all right first things first uh i'm going to uh rahua may be bound by this deal
do do get some paprika
well this guy's got his back turned i'm going to cut his bonds and try to get him out
yeah okay yeah like you you start cutting the bonds uh thurston baldrick is observing this all
from the hallway and is frankly disgusted at rahua's candor uh he's going to move into the room
okay yeah yeah you you walk into the room as like tannhauser is getting like getting this person
in bed uh which one was i need to leave i need to leave which one was the pantry this one uh yeah the
door up to the to the northeast is like assumedly the exit thurston can i perform my my classic move of
taking a door a chair and jamming it under the door handle absolutely
he's going to just very like deftly walk oh he's going to walk over lackadaisically and starts
dragging a chair behind him and just props it under the door and jams it oh this is a special move
as baldrick does that could orange just check down the hallway to make sure there's not another door
there probably is but it's going to buy us some time it's going to buy us some time
sure there is a there are some doors at the far end of the hall to the north
hmm
i need to get out of here get paid enough you need to shut the hell up
what's going on why is there a raccoon with an axe so why is there a tree why are you a machine
i'm gonna uh can i can i let's see um shocking what skills do i have
shocking grass excellent i could shocking grasp them manos hands are always an option
uh that's a good one let's see um can i uh roll athletics that's stupid i'm gonna look at one of our
doctors someone get this idiot unconscious okay oren enters the room he looks at the man
he uh he goes like it's like uh he wants him to
hmm oren looks at him do you want me to roll a medicine check to knock him unconscious or try
to get him unconscious yeah i mean he's still like partially bound so wait why don't we want
him so we need info out of him you could just bog him yeah no no hang on hang on wait yeah we're
trying to get info out of him yeah i i don't think that info from i mean speaking from my pv um i feel
like this guy might have some info but i feel like he's a little too stupid to help us uh a little too
shocked and in pain and such um him talking is just going to make it harder for us to save him
can i that's what i'm thinking if we want to ask him stuff that we can yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna just
like cut out the middleman and i'm gonna go up to him why do you have a bucket on your head
because i'm a terrorist that's a great answer yeah true listen listen we're no friend of his so this
is the question i have to ask you we're here looking for information and other things and we
don't exactly want to see you die necessarily so if we can help you out we will but first we need
information uh he he's like i don't know nothing about nothing i just get paid to to clean the
windows and sometimes come in and dust and okay so you've never been anywhere but this room in
any other locations with windows and dustables the guest quarters in the in the west and then
then i sometimes go into the archives but there's the center and then the second floor
you've been around here enough have you seen anyone coming through here that isn't the freak in the back
uh does someone want to give me like a social skill to like calm this person or i would love to but
i don't have really i don't have diplomacy i have society but that's not social yeah it's not wait wait
wait wait veena yeah booze i'm already in the middle of social skills veena please sedate him
using your social capability please god get in here veena who is already in the middle of like
unscrewing her flask during this whole exchange huh me all right hold on yeah use you use those
dulcet tones come on as you're walking in all of you just hear from like the northern door oh some
cayenne oh paprika oh salt oh bleach i couldn't ask for more oh well i'm glad somebody's having fun
we need to hurry things up before he comes back into the room because we are going to
fucking mollywop him as soon as he does right of course all right my friend you must be in a bit
of pain here take this i'm gonna hand him the flask take a big sip and why don't you tell me
you worked here and maybe they don't tell you anything but have you noticed anything strange
weird people besides the tongueless ones or perhaps the state of the masters sandal and grandpappy
you're the fucking raccoon who's gonna kill me with a hacksaw all right quiet because
hold on if you do not if you don't tell us he's going to come back in and if he does and you have
not told us anything perhaps we will leave you to him oh boy a garlic press he just found a garlic
press he's going to use it on all of your fingers are you are you trying to threaten him or calm him
down our heroes everyone i would probably get farther with my zero come on oh well i've got both
intimidation and diplomacy and they're at the same so whatever we're trying to calm him down not freak him
at worst come on intimidation gets a worse effect if you fail oh god all right no listen i'm i'm
kidding it's just a little jokey joke you have a drink of that why don't you tell us we're not
gonna let him hurt you my bad bro bro he's gonna put your balls in the meat grinder
ha ha ha psych psych what the fuck took a sip at the worst possible moment how my throat
the gm is debilitated get your answers in yeah yeah make me a fucking diplomacy check for your psych bra moment
yeah
there were there were people sleeping in the in the western wing and and i didn't i didn't want to
want to go there that they were they were all raggedy and smelled bad and i i didn't think anyone
was staying here and the cat lady looked at me weird and she's gone downhill let me out let me out
let me out let me out we're gonna let you out okay so weird people in the west wing they smelled and
there was a cat lady we've met the cat lady before the weird people in the west wing were they different
from the tongueless ones oh the smelly smelly look at me okay we go do do do you just hear more humming from the north
all right well i think that's all we're gonna get out of him we can let him out the front door
oh if you let him out the front door then they might as well then what's going to happen to him
is the same as what happened to those assassins how do we know do we think everybody in this place is
infected infected with what now that everybody goes out the window what
this person is just like looking incredibly just like worried wide-eyed i'm gonna hand him more
alcohol it's all right it's all right i don't need alcohol i need to get out of here
well alcohol always helps me right well i will say here the knife drawer let's find what little
friends are in here uh hey hey thurston real quick i'm gonna position myself near the door he went
through sure uh when it sounds like i'm gonna i would ask to make a perception on this when it sounds
like he's coming back to the door i'd like to affix a coring charge to the door sure
bomb has been planted
he at this point the man on the table is now like desperately moving to untie his legs himself
since tanhauser you know untied the arms oh i thought we got it all i i would get his legs
it's not like i'm like all right it's just yours okay figure it out dick so so yeah he's like he's
he's he's like he's getting up then he's certain uh he's starting to like move
scrambling past you unless you're actively blocking him let him let him go guys please
if he dies he dies but we're not gonna let him die to that guy
yes be careful going out the front door if you start to feel funny call
it's just that's his that's his teleport noise
yeah all right we hear screaming nope you hear a door open though i'm gonna chase after him and make
sure that uh this guy does not turn into gobbledygook uh direction of the door yeah it looks like the front
door has opened okay so that's okay we'll see all right tanhauser's on that i'm on this door here
nope no he's in fact he's like running through the courtyard screaming oh i was expecting just to
see him in the family guy death pose just kind of in the fountain i don't suspect that guy was
affected with any rot stuff only the tongue people were so that's probably yeah time to time to
uh come on back all right thurston i'm setting up the coring charge and as he's doing this uh
baldrick is going to motion for the others get out get out get out he's pointing out the other door
i'm gonna run down this hallway sure or instead of keep up with everyone
so all of you are running out this hall yeah uh so i'm gonna hopefully try to time this so when he
gets to the door and like pulls on it or whatever yeah you know i'll be not in here i'll be not in
here yeah you can you can head out yeah yeah do you want to close the other door behind you as you head
out oh you know it okay
as a cantrip can i cast tango foot on the door baldrick just closed
to try to lock it a little bit more like here baldick
it's like trying to reinforce it i'll i'm here because this is probably leading into this room
i will mark my i will remove one of my coring charges now okay okay excellent excellent my thing's
a cantrip tango foot's a cantrip so i'll do it to both doors yeah yeah so well so as you like rush
into the hall all of you sort of like get prepped um baldrick you come running out just after setting
the coring charge there is a distinct like explosion sound love the sound of a baldrick
coring charge in the morning
the the structure shakes slightly to it
uh should i roll that damage on that uh yeah please all creatures then 10 feet of the dead nation take
four uh okay so 4d8 yeah not 3d8 you bastard 40 plus four
that's awesome terrible it's 20 damage okay perfect one coring charge down got two left
okay cool
and outside of this door if i'm given the time i would like to
uh probably probably probably one further back and i'm going to angle myself as though i'm going
to throw something that's the whatever comes through that door next sure uh i'll make it a
bottled lightning because i think that'll be funny saying what baldrick's doing or in motions everyone
else going like i think baldrick means to kill and it's a horrible position himself here
uh uh writing up the actually i'll pre-do it i want to shape shift uh into a bear
okay yeah just in case
which i will go ahead uh i'll just do my stuff you're good with my previous 30 something a call
do i get the sense that that we can actually even fight him right now
he's a powerful fey entity you're guessing he's like he's in the the boss threat range we'll put it
that way oh sick well oh yeah no i mean like will forces supernatural force us not to be able to fight
him because we are not fighting him in a parking lot i mean fey by go by some pretty ridiculous rules
so it is very likely that in order like you could still fight this thing anywhere anything can be
fought anywhere um but like there might be you know added reasons to fight him in the mutton king
parking lot everyone stand down
what what is an entity that will require all of our focus and power to dispatch
i've read novels on the fey i've read missives and reports and i've seen what they do to the unawares
it is likely in our best interest to dispatch this entity in the button king parking lot not here
not just for the benefits of slaughtering it but also because we have other vile entities need of our
our attentions
bodrick will take that into consideration and he will uh reach into his coat and retrieve
uh a notepad and he is going to write something down very quickly
he writes down he writes down just a prank bro and puts it on the ground
he puts it on the ground in front of the door and then retreats back
that's good that's good
they do appreciate a good prank bro
we just had a narrative declaration to make sure that works as much as possible
i have i have a point but i would require thurston to work with us and i'm afraid he
he really does want to destroy us especially i think by the the new art i think that's highly likely
yeah
you're such a kidder you hear it from through the door
oh we certainly got you good oh i hope you hope you enjoy our new brand you limb from
limb in the mutton king parking lot they're gonna need two staff members to clean up your uh
whatever you bleed uh baldrick leans over to rahua grab the note and give it to him
baldrick i don't i'm i'm happy to do that but he might pull me into a shadow dimension if i
but sure back me up here i i'm planning on it but if it sounds like he wants to fight you in the
parking lot it sounds like he's going to abide by that and i'm just a helpful underling aren't i
of course of course let's see if this works out
rahua will go to the door and pick up the note the baldrick had left yeah
okay the door's locked yeah the door's locked oh you go to like open the door and it's locked
sorry about that chat right under rahua will instead slip the note under the door
there's like a squelchy sound as a glove picks up the paper
oh you really are such a kidder oh if you think this means i'm gonna take it easy on you you're
wrong it's all in good fun oh it's all in good fun my new friend my royal boon companion
this is just how i roll this is your underlings talking i've got good ears
no you don't you're just a dog
and dogs piss on trees
and dogs fell on my trees
oh my god oh he's so fun isn't he so fun it's going to be wonderful turning him into a nice
piece of upholstery later on maybe i'll dress like a lumberjack when i kill you get it because i have the
saw oh oh you're so funny tell me i wonder how fey raccoon tastes i know someone who cooks many many
things quite well oh well that's of course you do because you have other people do everything for
you orange fucking sweating he's having a bad time this is like a fucking like mma pre-match like
just sizing each other up just we're we're we're putting on a good show for the powers that be
and the freak shit raccoon oh this way he's such a kidder tell me tell me vita do you think coonskin
would look good on your head think it'd be a nice hat on top of your hat why are you bringing me into
this i mean because you're part of my entourage shut the fuck up and go with the bit that's right
because he needs you to do all the thinking for him of course why waste so much effort on thinking
things through when i can have my underlings take care of it i have much more important things to
tend to well you got not you the lamest king's gift no wonder you have little sawsaurus flying
you around can't even fly yourself i bet oh how little do you know i'd be happy to show you some
time but if that's just the lamest king's gift i wonder what kind of thing i'll get from dismembering you
you're gonna have to try in the parking lot orange talking rahua could you please stop
pissing off the fake god person let's get out of here gotta say your excellence we have somewhere
else to be of course we do well we'll pick this up another time we'll see you in the parking lot
square up buddy all right you're such a kid who i had a lot of fun can't wait to see you again
have me too toodles let's get the fuck out of here i can't tell if this went well or if we
really fucked this one i think it went about as well as we could have hoped let's get out of here
oh yes let's you know rahua if i didn't know any better i'd say you were actually having fun with that
no i'm just well maybe a little bit but mostly because i'm going to kill him late i think you
might take to this faking bullshit a lot better than most people do
well he is for every people an order must be maintained and through their order i guess it's
chaos yeah isn't that you mr anarchy it is how observant baldrick
however i don't really delight in harming that innocent waiter he's he's just trying to do his
job now if he did hurt us in that it might be a different story i see oh i'm putting a token back
i was just i was looking i was like he spawned he's here he respawned now that's some that's a hell of a
a lot of poppin listen he was hiding under the couch where's tan hauser gone gone gone gone we need
to not do that all right well one part down i you know rahua you look rather fast and you know a
a little bit of your inner chaos has been satisfied so let's call that a w and uh keep looking around
sure there were a handful of doors down that corridor we haven't checked yet but
we could poke around i don't presume raki is going to engage us yet he seems keen on engaging in its own
fey ritual of squaring up in a pardon lot this is the worst house i have ever been into i think it
is important that we get through it as quickly as possible point taken baldrick will move her to the
door and he will prepare to open it when everyone has geared up around him i will accompany my my
fellow political extremist if nothing else the wallpaper is super cute here oran and extremely
inspired by tan hauser with tactical roll over in bear form just doing the bear somersaults i turn
from whatever i was looking at look back give you a thumbs up go back to the task at hand
harding his little paws come out he's proud of me
and i will peer around the corner i'm gonna i'm gonna lean tactically wow lean okay yeah um this hallway
looks similar to the other one same same red style carpet however the portraits on the wall as you
enter this one uh there are a total of uh five portraits each of them are a stylistic rendition of
yourselves oh i wish i wish i was not cosmo wand i wish i wasn't looking all right except
except except there is there there is something strange about these images like like they're they're
slightly like they're slightly wrong like for example um you know in in uh in your in your picture
baldrick you have a conical head motherfucker this bit again yeah in fact it looks very
looks very similar to the wanted posters you'd previously uh seen oh they never get my nose right
we should be counting your blessings if it look too much like you it finds you easier can orange be
just an actual bird yes
uh huh well if they reference the wanted posters i guess that's all they had to go off of uh do they
do they look particularly strange are they like are their eyes following us or something
they don't look strange they just like i mean aside from the fact that it is you know
you right like a a comical stylation of you but still
you i'm gonna i'm gonna take my own off the wall how much damage does she take
um yeah okay um give me a little save oh oh i knew it god uh stop touching the damn things
you said a coring charge on a face i said a coring charge on a door because it was an excellent prank
15. cool uh i feel like i should spend a uh hero point on this
yeah you're gonna gonna spend that here point yeah i'm gonna do that uh
yeah okay cool
that's better 19 possibly not a crit fail it's better it's better cool cool cool sounds uh sounds good um
cool um you know how about we take our first break right here for no particular
all right all right everybody we're gonna do our little q a section for those who uh
subscribe to us for the vod and for patreon folks and stuff if you're watching this in youtube or
podcast stuff you know support us there patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration or subscribing to
the youtube or twitch channels to go watch the vod versions but of course we will be right back don't go
anywhere we have returned we're back now to suffer
but thurston we're stuck in this hallway well images that kind of look like ourselves yeah and
and then vena picked up one and then placed it uh onto the back back down um from here what are you all doing
uh baldrick is ahead and he's preparing to open the door but he is currently not looking at any
painting he's trying very hard not to in fact okay you know as vena is making a will save yep vena has
made the will save yep oh i wish they had gotten a better picture of me anybody else want it
no i think i think i'm good anyone no you already framed in my memories
oh oran i'm gonna pat his little bear head
brah uh how big is this uh this this portrait this isn't pocket sized is it
no it's it's like like two feet wide maybe three feet tall so it's got like some size to it
yeah i'll walk out uh i'm going to next to our sleeping friend i'm just gonna prop it up next to
the couch the corner take it home later yeah i'm gonna walk over here again okay
is that where we're storing off our loot vena yeah yeah yeah the uh the assassin counts as loot
okay he's an item now
dragging to the inventory no john object caught again put me in the people's loot
that's where the people we don't like go oh we're gonna drag and drop you into my inventory
um doing a detect magic on these evil paintings yep what does it reveal to my robotic eyes there is
no magic on these paintings
ridiculous this entire house is an aberration i'm just gonna swing this door open and let's see what
funny things inside okay so uh so you open the door to what is clearly a guest room there is a bed on
the opposite end um there is uh like a kind of dresser to to the immediate right however there is
something in the bed um in fact it's like jutting out of the bed it makes the the bed like almost seem
comically large it is a rotund human figure um however the best way to describe it isn't so much
that it is a human figure but it is actually several human figures that have been stitched together uh
to form a very very very rotund sort of almost bulging at the seams humanoid body made from different
skin types there is what appears to be like a a face that has been stitched onto where its face
should be uh but otherwise it is just this mass and one of its arms dangles down from the side of the
bed and um there is a there's like a what appears to be like a scythe like blade sticking out um as you
open the door it starts to like shake slightly what are you doing oh i know what i need to do diplomacy check
i just closed the door yeah we're good also game still pause so i'm asking what tannhauser's doing
all right so it starts shaking and screaming you said not screaming just like kind of shaking about
like it's like it's starting to move uh well first thing i'm going to prep my weapon okay um i want
to know what the fuck it is i'm looking at can i make an occultism absolutely
so glad i'm off to the side and can't see anything 23
um yeah that's enough for you to recognize that this is a um
um this is a type of construct called a skin stitch so it's like just humanoid skins that have
been pieced together to make a body pull you know i guess it's on the tin
and i'm assuming that it is not friendly um it it certainly does not appear to be to be friendly um
it's a construct so it would presumably have programming excellent i'll close the door okay
it's a skin stitch a flesh construct
oh are we gonna do anything about that yeah it's still there okay it just looks at you like
i can't exactly see what you're looking at so i'm going to have to take your word for it here take a
look it's it's terrible he walks up he will open the door
it's kind of like getting up now like it's starting to to rise like stand up
this looks vaguely familiar for some reason look i didn't have custom art for a bespoke skin stitch
for us so rather than use the the paizo one from bestiary three i used to roll okay
baldrick is going to open the door again
it it puts its feet off the side of the table you see that its other arm
has what appears to be a cudgel at the end and can can every time baldrick like you know like those
cat videos where someone like go behind a wall come back and the cat's like a little bit closer
can you do that to where it's like every time you open the door it's like just another position
we getting up yeah all right so so this thing can i make some kind of roll to identify the purpose
this bastard serves in this house crafting crafting well it's a big man's show tonight
i roll a 36 very good um these things often come from depraved minds so like people who have
broken minds make these things um it they're they're they're notable in that
they they've appeared in numerous places so they're like almost like
gifted to to the minds of deranged people in your case with the 36 you know that like oftentimes
these are like the creation of these things whilst they are not rot creatures themselves
they are often associated with the rot um because the rot seems to impart the depraved ideals to
create them similarly like those who worship the malice often um can build these things or receive
divine inspiration to build them i'm getting the distinct feeling that the individuals in charge of
this house regardless whether they're sandal declin upstairs or his father below grandfather part
it moves get that he's watching it as it's moving around is it making for the door or is it
it's getting up to like start like it stands up and then is slowly turning to the door
maldrick's gonna wait he's gonna be polite with it because he's not detecting anything
of particular note that's hostile yet okay it's just moving it's definitely got a cudgel for an arm
point taken it moves in front of you you slam the door shut okay all right back up
he he he shoes tanhauser and veena back chew chew right we could put a portrait under the door
thurston is there a chair there's not a chair here oh which way does the door open in there inwards or
outwards uh inwards yeah that wouldn't work but it would be funny regardless uh i'm beginning to
think that regardless of whether or not you know the one below is better than the one above they both
kind of suck ah right let's just kill this thing already it might it might be on a path unless the
path is to attack us we can probably leave it be
probably well it's its directive might be hill the intruders
only one way to find out
all right so what we just carry on our way down the hall and see if it starts chasing us
that would be my suggestion i'm not exactly worried about it there's more than enough of us here to
take that it's not exactly a fake king we may or may not have left an explosive present
it's just a pile of flesh okay well there's another door to this hallway kind of through the
other thoroughfare so maybe we go there maybe he's going to motion for rahua to move down the hall
is rahua going to open the door now yes oh oh oh so rahua you open the door
to save for the bit not in character you only did it out of character for a bit of course it was
only for the bit yeah so rahua did okay yeah i cast bone shaker on the entity behind the door and pull
it out no it requires sacrifice and pain
this is the path of legends this isn't skyrim we don't get experience what's happening we're
to get killed by this thing for the bit all right i'll answer we're not going to we're not going to
actually aggro the creature that was for the bit it was for the bit i'm not gonna kill the party yet
okay what so we're leaving the door shut okay can we lock it it hasn't opened the door yet
unless thurston would like to counteract me it does not open the door
baldrick motions to move down the hallway did they did they forget to build their flesh
pile with object permanence he has a cudgel for a hand are we playing peekaboo with it right now
i think we should play it is behind a door let's not bother it it just tries to open the knob
it's trying to open it with the cudgel hand yeah
his directive is to kill the intruders but he can't like break down any property for that so he
just has to fiddle with the doorknob security roomba gonna feel bad for him at a circle don't
don't do this again we did this with the scrap golem i was about to say this is the starfighter
scrap golem all over again we don't have the time to do that again all right well position himself
here so we can get through he's not opening the door uh but he's just making sure he's like pulling
security basically as everyone goes forward down the hall okay we are just going to breach
all these rooms right we have to do this up tactically just just open the door see what's
okay one ready all right oh
so as you open the door
made the counts of bears now take their stand yeah we want to count it for
bear hey hey thurston i'm glad i set that up for you where's my paycheck yeah yeah what makes
us better is that there was supposed to be a wall here and i forgot to edit it in so that's cool um
all right so as you do so uh you open the door and this like this blade comes into the doorway and
pushes the door open like it like basically like props it in and then begins to leave that
yeah okay absolutely so this will be um this will be an athletics check please
oh my god he's a tree he has no athletics
i knew it oh it's a plus 15 i do a plus 15. uh you also have a hero point that's true i do have a
hero point i'm gonna fuck it or roll it okay okay keep keep him in the room keep him in the room
okay okay okay roll it it literally rattled onto the three on my screen and then i too i too have a
villain point oh yeah so you will critically succeed and slam the door shut in front of it
so there's another meat man in that room so do we leave i don't think that's an option
oh the beds are coming out
yes direct enters the hall uh two of them from the north as you're like fighting over these doors
two of them have shambled into the hallway they can't i i'll give them i'll use any they say
don't rot i don't give a fuck what your cannon was for these guys they say don't rot
don't rot
don't rot
excellent all right i uh they are now abominations i'm
fucking done with these pretenses um just just fucking click on your duders and set yourselves
into combat we're gonna roll sir sir sir sir sir sir may i may i may i use stealth as my initiative
because we're who is big like a door yes i will sure thank you i will roll my initiative now
i rolled a 20.
why are their initiatives so high oh it's on the other screen oh it's because thurston's rolling high for
them yeah yeah yeah bastard it's like yeah i'm just i'm just i'm rolling good you know
thurston picks up us and picks up the die and puts it on the 20. i rolled a 20. i rolled a 20.
all right all right all right so uh oran here
i have to be evil one second
sorry anyway then to announce all the uh all the roles i don't know how many eve players i
caught with that anyway for all the roles um uh for the initiative oran got a 35 uh npc got a 32
or who i got a 31 uh npc other npcs got 29s vena got a 29 under that order bulger got a 28
10 hours are going to 25 and there's a creature at the 15.
oh dear so that's the initiative order
all right so combat started i i know i'm going to be fighting this guy with the door
and i'm in bear form right now so kanjo versus bear who can master opening a door first yeah
survive the dorier
so this is what i'm gonna do first action open the door yeah second action i'm going to try and maul him
yes i'm guessing i can guess the third action yes you know how this is gonna go i've learned since the
tavern it's true it's true it's true i'm going to i'm gonna uh claw him yep i am going to horribly
miss i have no hero points and then i'm gonna go and close the door excellent
and that's the end of orange that brings me to this fellow here
um one sec i'm just gonna roll some stuff very quick here
okay perfect
oh well there goes the door cool
cool
cool yeah the door breaks
entirely as he smashes it open
come on bro you couldn't have continued the bit come on
then he proceeds to uh take his third action to strike at you with a minus 10 map penalty uh
uh going going oh sorry minus eight because he is agile on the blade how's he agile he's a rock
oh he's agile he's he misses misses horribly or it turns to the group they're not gonna follow the bait
oh so i'm not feeling too good about the uh the big fatbergs in the hallway so let me try and fix this
with a funny little i put my hand out to them and i use my funny piece of metal with ceramic in it
i'm using the wand of cracking lightning that's the bit okay cool cool do it up crackle my lightning
oh wait hold on it's fucking adjacent and parallel uh that might be that might just destroy the entire
hallway um good yeah unintended consequences tell you what let me instead throw magic
objects from the chaotic ether i'm just gonna anarchic barrage instead wait if you destroy the
hallway it may open up our arena a bit i call that a win-win that's true however it might also
alert other enemies to our presence
considering the fact how these maps are made there's no distractible walls
yeah fuck it why not all right ronda crackling lightning can i can i cast it through here uh
uh here we go wait nope no i just have to just you need help but i guess uh yeah i can't cast it
directly through hold on uh oh no everyone's seeing your inventory oh no where is it in your inventory
uh it's in my it's just in my inventory uh uh oh there it is are you not seeing it i see it
cast lightning bolt yeah yeah pretty much it's a line thing they just have to make a uh reflex save
it's a it's a line yeah so your permit said whole hallways there uh you will roll 40 12 electricity
damage and then i go against your spell dc here i'll help you do a uh a line for you so i got you i'll
roll the first one is here bam there you go and then i'll roll the second spell dc is 21. oh he's
definitely gonna save the second one it's true i will okay what's the spell dc doug 21 uh yes okay
cool so fail on the first one pass on the second gimme jean dimaggio here you go
oh
oh 30 30 ladies nice blast blast blast them wait i don't know oh wait one sec
there we go all right you blast them and they uh they stagger back from the blast but they they
still seem to be uh to to be upright and and mobile what would you like to do with your third action
oh no you had to draw it didn't you yeah yeah yes that's true all right okay you shivered their
timbers oh boy here they come crackled their lightning all right durat durat will advance towards you
target you and will smash you with a cudgel no does he say anything when he
smashes with a cudgel rot oh he's in the line oh oh he'll hit you it's pretty good
it's you for 17 points of blood chain damage and then he'll do it again oh my god he's going to
minecraft steve you to death he'll miss and that was his third action so that is all he can do okay
but then the other one gets to go oh who's the other one
i don't think he's big enough to fit past the other one and then he will attack the door to his
immediate east no hey there's more oh there's the one in the in the room next to hulky
oh yeah
i'm so glad he's rolling that 29 here oh no oh no no no you misunderstand it's the one to the north who
breaks this uh this door up here down oh that's okay maybe not if it's leaving yeah he's getting his
coat he's flanking okay veena you're up okay there's a lot happening here and it's very difficult
to position myself with no vision yeah yeah let's see here um i could try to tumble through the one
that orin is fighting uh and that would protect me from immediately getting goofed on by the rest of
these dudes so i think that's what i'm gonna do um right but don't write do that i've been there
before buddy all right yeah i'm gonna tumble through this guy okay i could about this
natural 20. place yourself where you want in that other room haven't seen one of those in a while
if you go down here on top of the bed yeah yeah that's true or i'm sorry off guard now
oh yes he's we will switch to remaster later yeah next next year next year next year i'll farm
panache by jumping on the bed and having you got panache because you tumbled through hell yeah oh wait
wait odo it wasn't a one you got that 20 this time
oh my god you finally got a higher roll why did you say that before the attack roll
why did because i'm a piece of shit thurston you aren't a good friend okay i'm gonna attack
him with a finisher here it is here it comes
he is
finally it happened thank you pp and remember zorin didn't believe not even for a second
critical shit let's go 54 points of damage for you that will do it okay okay okay so
damage i can't even see where vena went in the hole make a fortitude save
which i fail so is now slowed
uh one sec yep that is slowed cool that's fun um yeah so you come up behind and execute this perfect
strike on him uh that causes this creature to like shake and is like off guarded and all sorts of bad
things um describe how badass you are vena and then uh i believe you can uh take your uh
your third action as well yeah i guess i've earned that one uh yeah vena's just going to uh kind of
uh just uh dip and weave through tan hauser and baldrick kind of uh jumping up onto oran's back
flipping over this thing and just gouging a big cut down the back of it cutting through the seams
holding it together and she'll just go i remember how to do cool shit now you you are doing cool
shit oh sorry oh god i thought i forgot still got it uh i'm i'm gonna make another attack and then
immediately fall on my ass do it uh yeah all right another crit holy shit their ac must be really low
which means we got a lot of hp all right uh no finisher damage this time so it's just 31 points of
damage that that'll that'll do that'll that'll do um okay i appreciate chat is just like did looking
into the portrait give us the vena who can roll good dice wait what happened is that our vena got exchanged
now this is the new one from the portrait who rolls yeah quick someone asked her a question
only vena would know what color is vena orange green all right uh this thing looks incredibly
messed up is slowed down um yeah that all happened uh for someone who was confused about slow and some
of the chats basically we have three actions and pathfinder slow basically just takes like one away
yeah so he'll only get two actions on his turn uh oops sorry i skipped over baldrick hi uh since
baldrick identified these properly using his crafting may i please do a recall knowledge to get their health
uh you don't even have to uh so you would know that their their health is is fairly fairly on the the high
side they got around a hundred ish uh but you would know that their big weakness is against fire they do not
like fire the one time i branch out to other alchemical bombs and i'm now out of alchemist
fire mm-hmm but remember you've got that ability to always create lesser ones right yeah that's still
good i do i do but the weakness that i saw how weakness matters yeah i know i know i'm gonna
uh you know what i mean i could all i can always create them so i'll make a lesser alchemist fire and
i'll throw it and then i will move sure so i'm targeting phil at the door which one the no there
yeah okay cool am i gonna get a penalty for hitting him um there's some like minor cover in the way but
it shouldn't matter all right yeah to make me a lesser
i draw and i throw it yep go
it's a solid hit for a 20. yeah give me uh give me dimaggio uh-huh
uh yep so 15 because of the weakness you you burn it you burn it down and it collapses and as it
does you all see that the the skin that comprises this thing actually as it like sloughs down almost
like a you know like a jacket that you drop um it all dissolves briefly into this like blackish
rotten icor before disappearing entirely
that was your first action right so uh two actions oh two yeah because you have to brew it yeah
uh with that done baldrick is going to move to this door over here to give everyone free line of
sight and also to check out here to make sure nothing is attacking our own our sleeping guy
absolutely that be my turn tan hauser do your thing so you can do the thing you need to do that
um all righty then uh pan hauser is going to come to here i can't quite touch this guy um
so instead i know roshi i'm so sorry
hey speaker a bit closer to your mic oh my my apologies um i'm gonna go ahead and cast produce
flame and i'm just going to attack the guy closest to rahula um yeah what uh probably the one you can
only see in front it'd be well there's a door that's still closed there no the one in front of
her like tan hauser can't see the one the left probably the one in front yeah yeah he can only see
this one oh you're gonna cast and throw okay yeah yeah yeah i can't i can't yeah it may surprise
people but tan hauser can just cast his spell that's that's silly talk i know i know i do it up all right
all right natural one i'm gonna i can't never mind i i have inherited the vena curse it's true
not for world one right there must be one um vacation give me a moment i must i must reside into the
the the archives the archives remember if you too want to make us suffer when we roll natural ones
you can go to patreon.com for its last narrative declaration and you too can submit your complication
stuff to the pool this one's this one's suitably silly uh i think is the one oh maybe maybe
one sec one sec one sec one sec probably not that one um after uh probably after your turn here real
quick then i think you're good to go bigger yeah um my little dog needs to pee i'll be real quick yeah
yeah anyway um
uh all right i'm gonna use this one uh shock attack from uh our good friend uh toad killer dog
uh what this does is through bizarre failure of physics or perhaps uh some incompetent nerd your
ranged attack in this case your spell attack propels you bodily forwards you soar through the air
flying towards your target so what i'm gonna say is you produce flame and even though you said you
can't uh can't do that you fly to there through the target
rocket boots iron man mode yeah because because clearly you intended to spell strike your body's
just so used to it exactly i do still have one action you do still have an action yes yeah uh i could
teleport back you could you could you could um yeah i don't love the idea of getting flanked
um this skin stitch is not doing the best right it's he's taking a little hitty yeah a little little
hit a little hit probably probably force fangs not the best uh situation right now so i am going to
dimensional assault my ass right way back way yeah back back from whence i came
all right all right all right all right
no no no no no no and that's a turn okay awesome awesome i am i'm gonna just very quickly no you're
good you're good you're good you're good you're good oh the door opens as he sticks as this skin stitch
sticks his blade through and pulls it open uh then proceeding to cudgel you oh you're getting a
cudgeling no you're not um maybe the second one no all right good good good good good good turn
good good turn or in the bear good turn uh i will stop being a bear by dropping it i go
i think that takes me one action or it's free regardless wouldn't matter um for my fight for my
two actions i'm going to produce flame same as mr tanhauser to the one down the hallway right in front of
ruhua speed do it up and basically he's gonna go blip blip he's gonna blip blip blip blip blip blip
it's getting there there you go there you go they got it you got it you got it you got it so
fire gets thrown out and that's um that's a that's a miss with a 21. it's a miss i'm sorry all right
let's see my turn oh i get you got two of these boys on another side of you sure do so i'm gonna
attack the one that is directly in front of her who in the hallway yeah it's a good call gonna strike
them with the the mossy pick okay let's see what happens yeah that'll hit that'll hit
give me john dimaggio for 11 damage not bad not bad not bad okay okay okay
okay i'm going to attack it again because this is my life now yeah though the pick seems to be kind
of effective on these things it seems to be uh recall uh like causing some of the uh the root mess
inside it to recoil let's go these these creatures are rotten there's a
turns out and i miss a third action for the 20. third action uh let's fish for a little bit
okay fish it fish fish it baby actually i don't know if i can um or do you want to move or i i would
have to move past hannhauser yeah that's fine uh i'm going to attempt to move past hannhauser to
not be locked in a hallway it's fair let's cut our losses and move
i just yeah down one there you got it cool all right oh that very good all right well
i've got this one and i've got tannhauser and speaker's not here to defend himself because roshi
needed to pee so this little buddy's gonna walk here and um it's going to attack
with its uh it's going to attack with its um blade but it's going to take the flay action and it's going
to try to cut off what little bits of tannhauser's flesh remain oh
it's a sad hauser but it has all look out look at mr tannhauser he looked at us he looked out
he's got his ear pods yeah he's got his ear pods
we were wondering yeah people just joining us while he's not responding uh he had to go take
care of his dog real quick so well then i'm going to do the same thing with this other one on the
other side but against baldrick as it comes through the the main foyer and approaches you baldrick oh my
god it comes at you with it yeah wade
i well i rolled a two for a not enough
how does it feel giving me the curse to thurston cursing no not like this vena you're you're
okay uh well it looks like this group of three has it in hand uh i'm gonna i'm gonna uh
what i'm planning to do is that i'm probably i'm probably gonna back up into the room
and then when tannhauser's back he can back up either down or to the corner allowing them to come
in then all of us just hit him okay so we're gonna try to trap them in the little room yeah
yeah that's that's what i was suggesting like you know where tannhauser's standing
um basically if we can get them to go there all three of us can just hit him as they come towards us
very true uh in that case uh because i could go and help out baldrick here i can be kind of catty
corner yeah yeah do it do what you think is best i'm letting you know what i'm gonna try to do but
you do what you want to do sure um i will i think it's a bad idea to throw myself down that hallway
so what i'm gonna do is go here um okay and i'm going to
do you have enough move to try to tumble through him
oh get get the panache out panache my move speed is 35 so if i was here yeah oh yeah yeah
you'd have enough room i think yeah 20 to there yeah okay sick uh in that case i will go ahead and
tumble yeah try to try to farm that early panache you know yep uh because i didn't actually think i had
enough movement for that i am speedier than i gave myself credit for tumbling tumbling oh yeah
oh yeah good lord i mean a mirror dimension vena you have you have decided to drink the very
powerful gases that make you roll good exactly exactly um yeah and uh with panache i'm just gonna finish him
uh okay okay yes it does see that there you go
rolling all right just a regular hit what's agony still good still good still hits
uh 27 points take it he'll take it he's still there all right turns around no your panache is gone
get out of there panache oh it's gone i don't know what i'm saying uh i'm just going to
a regular attack him might as well do it up
it does hit oh 15 more points of damage for you there you go yeah um thick thing uh i don't know
if the automatic flanking thing is working if you want double check doesn't have a melee weapon out
correct he's got his fist doesn't count doing that it's unarmed doesn't count give me the win
come on all right all right we have to end my turn baldrick you're up you know what i'm gonna do
what are you gonna do baldrick tell me what you're gonna do i'm gonna quick alchemy another alchemist
fire lesser yep because it costs me nothing yeah and i am now going to draw
head throw it right let's do it and that guy yes yes that is a hit it is 23 i will do damage
wow it does nine damage okay i like it i like it
and baldrick is going to reposition over here really weird one sec okay
all right oh i guess i'm not going that way either
okay sorry the way it does damage there's a bit awkward okay cool got it uh cool cool cool
cool cool and then you know what that means let's get into my turn what is speaker back speaker is
back speaker back all right p roshi roshi has power pissed
i'm gonna ignore that i said that and i'm gonna do my turn now
it's cringe moments you think of in bed like i said that
yeah well every moment of mine is a cringe moment that's my power i'm gonna cast true strike cringe
strike and i'm going to spell strike this fucking disreputable miscreant with a little bit of
produced flame do it do it do it well it wasn't so good but i get to roll it again
okay yeah you do you do you do
that that will hit that was a lot better all right it was it was one shy of the crit prize but
you got 10 damage from there 10 damage from there okay you got it i got it next produce flame will
also do an additional 14 fire damage 19 fire damage bam very nice um okay that's the tanhouser turn
yeah okay excellent very good very good a lot of a lot of john dimaggio's happening there big number
i like it when big numbers okay i got i got this guy here he's uh he's gonna he's gonna try to hit you
he's gonna do the same thing the other one tried to before he's gonna flay you with his blades watch
out he's got a blade for an arm he gets you he gets you he does
14 slashing damage to tanhouser and then takes a chunk of your remaining skin onto its blade
on my face mr tanhouser i told you to look out yucky
you'll regret that then you know what it does it stares at you through the doorway and uses this
disgusting ability oh god
what is it what is it for podcast listeners thurston it's called stitch skin in which it
sews the flayed flesh it just grabbed onto its body to seal rinse and tears this one's undamaged
it's just doing this as a power move against you good lord oh
oren you're up cool
oren's gonna produce flame again okay as you get rid of the cast and obviously tanhouser's taller than
oren he's like this is your tanhouser yes duck and he any cash produced flame
it's straight to the thing i rolled a one no no no duck you said oh no sorry oh no it's
fucking warhand's fantasy all over again oh my god he summoned a duck
shit oh what is my punishment
okay okay okay okay okay we're gonna use a jers one thank you my name jers uh this is this you do not
strike tanhouser in the back that would be that would be you know too funny yes instead i will use
this one that is appropriate anyways which is a square of caltrop suddenly appears at your feet
or an ow ow as they spill out from the dod the rapidly dodging tanhouser
how much damage do i take ah good old caltrops eh uh you will take
1 d4 piercing damage i take the total maximum of four excellent
and oren is moving out of the way uh because he wants to block off this guy from entering in
and also since oren always has his staff out uh he has a melee weapon out so at least he's flanking
with veena so if lena gets a flank and it also allows tanhouser to back up if he needs so they can
all just melee the shit out of that guy if he moves up that works out that's the end of oren's turn
he repositions and fails at casting and he's like tanhouser your caltrops ow and he's like just
covered in him tori rahua can i do enough reach around this corner to hit uh darat right and i ran
away from previously that's now engaging tanhouser sure can i am going to strike him to save friend tanhouser
with with my pick yes and it missed fuck well i feel the need to say i'm sorry for this i don't
know why yeah you took all of our roles yeah so uh your fault second action sorry i was just checking
if i got anything else for raw bonuses but it's only for perception checks i will uh do i want to
cast a spell i mean i could i could certainly cast a spell okay yeah let's uh
yeah why not let's let's anarchic barrage for fun the map minus five do it up okay
do you do it i'm working i'm working i'm working on it i'm working here
fuck okay well what number included the fuck 20. oh it's a mess hey uh oh the skin stitch in front
of you tanhouser it's gonna flay you oh joy of joys it's gonna hit with it
it's gonna do 13 points of slashing damage and then this one who has been wounded
it's gonna put some of your remaining skin on itself
healing up just a little bit that's fantastic i'm so happy about that then then this one in this
all here that's really really really wounded and kind of on fire
sees uh it sees this this young beautiful uh beautiful oren boy come around the corner
oh hi with all of his young beautiful oren boy skin and he's gonna slash at you
okay you got you got some pretty skin boy
or looks up at this amalgamation of rot and just mass and he's like and he has a staff help
like i would help my friend vita you know you're not gonna get her at all and he just sucks at melee
just swishing yeah and it just like slashes and takes this like strip of flesh flaying it off of
your arm and then just like puts it back on itself
all right vena you're up oh and then it also it also has to roll a recovery check for fire yeah he's
kind of burning you take six points of fire damage and uh yeah there we go all right vena you're up
oh how dare you take his boy skin i'll get you uh jesus what friends friends all right disclaimer
disclaimer disclaimer no that's for everyone listening it's not like this all right if you're listening
in the car if it's on your tv or your radio thing it's not what you think sorry about that one right
now man i could be making pancakes right now go ahead go ahead yep come on vena i'm gonna stab him
and then i'm going to uh go and fling myself out of the second story window
you're gonna do a back flip first oh yeah i gotta get an ash on my way you know yeah okay
uh i'm gonna start by uh i'm gonna i'm gonna tumble through uh i'll lose the flat foot it or uh
does he get like some kind of you could okay i i i want to say you could tumble back and forth if you
wanted to that is true go down come back to where you were just kind of juke around him get get you
know panache that way uh you don't have to do deception to faint because he's already off guard so
yeah i'll just do a barrel roll yeah do a barrel roll it's back we're back
so back you know you know what i think was the progenitor of that was literally you had said
nothing objectionable until that moment and that was the demon's chance to get back in
what did you roll uh i rolled a natural one we're back baby we are so back now you guys get to roll
good again yay girl vena returns vena is a lot like the chicago cubs i will not elaborate she's
never won a world series no she did okay excellent x you know what i'm gonna use this one
this one this one is entitled the curse of snorg snorg not not snorg again no we know who that is
it's brought to you by our patron alphabusa oh no if you do also want to be a piece of
shit you can go to patreon.com force that's narrative declaration and be just like alpha
it's my least favorite patron of them all the player is inflicted with an altered brain state
possessed by some evil specter or decaying brain chemistry they are driven they are driven
to make a narrative declaration even though you have no no points you are driven to do this and
reality abides by it but this free narrative declaration must involve the following four points
be purely negative be exclusively harmful to you the pc be absolutely horrifying and in all
caps be very funny that is a can we kill alphabusa nope fantastic one
chat learn from alpha okay you know i guess this is a bit that i am obligated by the contract i signed
in my own blood with zora and the bear uh so uh i would like to make a narrative declaration
mr you'd like to excellent i'm so glad you like you want to do this i would love to and i'm going to
narratively declare that you know avina she's right in the high of this whole like situation this is
like the coolest she's been able to be in like eight sessions she remembered how to use her rapier
she's going to she's just right in the high she's spinning it around in her hands she's going to throw
it up she's going to tumble and i would like for the rapier to land on the ground point upward i'm
going to roll on top of it and i'm going to stab myself
okay
what's the narrative declaration
i would like to narratively declare that that happens
um okay okay okay okay i i think i think we've got a couple of the points here but i'm not sold on
the be absolutely horrifying requirement well of course uh it's gonna go directly through my kidney
oh excellent excellent excellent that's horrifying well it's good it's good it's good it's good it's
good okay roll critical damage against yourself stick i hate you
uh can i narratively declare there are urologists in outset
i would like to narratively declare the nearest dialysis clinic is
i would like to declare the dialysis clinic 28 points of damage you take 28 points of damage
stabbing yourself but but but but i got a second one but for now but because given you know
alpha boosts desire to to inflict harm for the great funny i will i will also declare that that
that earns you panache
well that was uh that was your second action oh no yeah that was that that was my that was
your first action that was just your acrobatics yeah i thought that was even the attack no get
right okay can i spend the hero point to narratively declare
that vena now takes extra poison damage
what
yeah because now
because character dies no no no hold on because you now only have one functional kidney
this uh
welcome to the kidney episode everyone
all right sure
you know i will not i will not narratively declare that continue
all right uh
cool so now with uh not just the alpha abuse is complication but newfound health complications
i'm gonna just finish her him yeah
we have to petition scale scale can you draw vena but with one less kidney
oh to roshi rider could you please remove one kidney from your equipment sheet thank you
i'm distinctly i'm distinctly reminded of a bit from
fucking fairly odd parents of all things
where it says my beautiful colon it's but i'm in it or beauty
all right fuck it yeah i did yeah
and that really would have been the the just cherry on top of this
anyway damage 25
okay you destroy it you destroy you destroy the hulk as it also combusts and melts and is also on fire
which causes it to combust and melt faster do i have an extra uh uh action left or is it
an action to draw my rapier from my own gut i assume that was part of how you got panache
all right you did a kickflip and kicked it out of you all right and i'm gonna oh oh all right
oran that was the coolest thing you've ever seen all right
or just like like his amazement
yeah don't don't worry baltric didn't see that he's too busy focused on the on the threats and
not only oran saw that i would grip his shoulders with my final action i'm gonna lean into him and
i'm just gonna say oran you didn't see that nobody hears about this okay nobody this stays between
you and i you're sworn to absolute secrecy make a blood pact with me right now orange can you roll
an intimidation against my will save i would love to i want to see if oran actually gets scared
uh that's a 21 i didn't see anything miss vena he doesn't zip his lips thing i pat his little head
and i'm gonna reposition behind behind tan hauser right here it's like i i really want fan art of vena
but like in the style of the uh that old board game like operation oh god you know they get to pick
up like the kidney and the bones and not hit the edges
oh boy all right that's my bit all right um all right let's beat us go baltric you're up can you
imagine the damage i just took man that that was a tough battle uh but i got him anyway
well after a show like that
i'm going to i'm going to conjure a lesser alchemist fire and throw it okay
why did i hit plus did that do something oh yeah it did there it goes except it doesn't work
kingdom craft and you're crafting i'll scream i'll scream
do targeted right i do yeah there we go oh that's a critical hit nice there you go let's go
oh i didn't mean to be right about that do i have to roll bad for anyone else to roll well yeah it's the
it's the curse i'm sorry i meant okay oh no listen their acs fucking sucks the the best thing is that it
was not a 20 this is true it's the role of equivalent exchange you didn't understand i
basically hit him with the equivalent of a paintball gun except he's weak to the paint in
the paintball gun but it's still not very good so it'll be 14 in total because i rolled like crap
on the crit did you have a crit button for that i did i hit the oh okay yeah it just it just rolled
badly oh sucks i'm sorry yeah yeah 14 in total 14 in total and then splash damage on that one okay
i will i will take that opportunity to quickly conjure another one since there's nothing to reposition
away from so for sure ten has her you're up all righty then um let us after watching vali
pen destroy her own kidney um i think it's time for me to destroy someone else's kidney um and so
i'm going to uh be real original here and i'm gonna get this spell strike produce flame
do it up do it up oh but first i'll laughing shadow so i get bonus damage sure i keep forgetting i
haven't laughing shadowed in a while um all right let's rock
that's a big crit nice
haha for 12 physical damage that's the embarrassing part but here's the cool part
oh and 15 and that's critted so is that doubled yeah but but he only had uh 12 hit points left
yeah no don't tell me that no don't tell me that no don't tell me that yeah okay well that damage is
wasted and goes into the ether oh hey hey that's killed secured killed secured all right that's the turn
okay
well i'm so glad to be rolling corrects all right isn't that isn't it great otoroshi to roll crits steps out
into the hall speaker speaker speaker i'm gonna get you
he's gonna flay you he's gonna miss it's gonna miss you see you get to keep a bit more of your skin
uh that's it for him or in europe nice uh oran can't see him in this direction so he'll reposition so
we can see our friend there and he will he'll mario it up by with a little produce flame and go haha
that's a 19 uh against him uh that is a critical hit to him uh 19 for a total of 35. hey hey
fucker it ain't that guy's turn hey fuck you okay yeah roll so i'll do the damage it is that double to 18
nice yeah 23 from that because of the weakness and that's all uh oran can do okay
uh that that brings us to rahua yep watch out don't get hit by this you get hurt like vena just did
what you doing sorry i was just taking in or and immediately going back on his word
i mean she didn't make or she didn't beat the save or it's worried about the friend of all the friends
of course of course of course i'm gonna i'm gonna attack it with the mossy pickaxe because
fuck it what else could go wrong invoking the gods
what is that fucking raccoon doing taking our guy away out of turn
11 damage on the die okay um give me the bonus damage for the mossy woohoo you will get the bonus
damage for the mossy how's he how's he looking it's looking fine he's looking fine oh great
i'm happy to hear that map minus five oh okay map minus ten okay today we learn why i should not
gamble he's pissed please please god let me just hit you once no more than once please god says no
i'm crying my cold wet eye vena you're up oh am i now i don't know if i want to be anymore
come on roll a natural one i'm sure we don't have another alpha boost a complication i can use
yeah i'm gonna tumble through i'm gonna tumble through my friends and my foe okay that's a
37. you're using like all these highlight dice on these acrobatics you uh you you receive panache
yeah nice thank you i'm gonna attack him i'm gonna attack him attack him oh that's a hit it hits
oh wait uh if i check the box it should do the finisher damage yes it will nice 24 points of damage
he takes it he's still up one more attack one more attack believe don't stop believing hold on to
that feeling this guy gets hit does he go oh my role well you're just like smashing into like putty
at this point yeah he's just kind of it's kind of like uh slapping a stress ball yeah all right
that's it for you vena baldrick you're up all right thurston i'm gonna blow your mind
you've got this bomb in your hand yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna blow your mind i'm gonna drink it that guy
and i'm gonna throw it all right
i throw it and i hit him with really low numbers but 23 double hit i wanna i wanna i
wanna preface this by saying if these guys had ac maybe like four or five higher than what it
currently is we wouldn't be hitting them yes because we are rolling pretty bad i have seen a
lot of single digit numbers yeah in any event i roll damage it's pathetic it's uh 11 you melt it oh my
god it's so good i said wait some of our flesh was on him no yeah that's all of ten houses flesh is
consumed no we're gonna put that back up flesh skin hey guys the raccoon guy just stole our guy
what i mean he it's not like he can leave the the mansion
but the raccoon guy has him great he went this way wait he looks over yeah but he's there you look
over he's there buddy but but he was there and i saw him over there maybe he just picked him up and
shook him around a bit but but but he was there when he was over there uh-huh what do you mean uh-huh
Harrison can i get him can i do a medical check on this guy to see if he's missing any kidneys
yeah sure oh apologies vena that's the one thing i'm sensitive about
i bet you're sensitive he's got your fucking kidney stand through
uh that's a nat 20 i'll do it this is the exact same human being entity you've encountered before
with no alterations made clearly orin was seeing things you have to believe me that mr baldrick like
i i saw him uh this house may be playing a trick on you you may be dehydrated you may be hungry you may
be hallucinating you may be all of these things i don't really make any assertions one way he's
right there he points to the door i don't see anything of course you don't see anything you
put away before you turned i'm not crazy man i don't see anything and with that our intrepid
destined band of chuckle fucks managed to clear approximately four rooms
of the manor technically technically thurston thurston technically we cleared five wait hold on i loot
the rooms come back next time oh yeah thurston can i can i make a stupid suggestion yes
so in the in the kitchen the pantry where the raccoon man was attacking you know rocky rocky
balboa yeah where he was where he was collecting his food i would like to coordinate with you that
we will not narratively declare this only if you accept it that cooking on the stove was a steak and
kidney pie like the camera zooms out of it as it's like like next time on rock thanks for coming
everybody great session
i hate all you people
i don't like the rack saw um he was good he was fun so that thank you all so much for joining us today on
this exciting episode of rock grind remember if you like to support us patreon.com force us
narrative declaration to get our pdfs assets all the other fun stuff that we like to do exclusive
things all the fun bits and bobs but of course we're supporting we're supporting me and the show
and all that other stuff you also support all these amazing people who help bring you this show starting
off with odoroshi hi hello i'm odo i was playing vena the self swashbuckler and once more i have brought
to the table the evil demon that plagues all of my ttrpg endeavors uh and the bad roles will continue
this i swear next up we have hulky crow that is me hi i'm hulky crow i have been your funny tree guy
you can find me at the usual places on twitter at hulky crow on twitch at hulky crow i'm also in some
very exciting stuff that is out and forthcoming for ogre pope ending productions alpha busa thank you very
much again for having me as part of that i'm very lucky for all of you and then there's baldrick
or arundel yep and i've been playing as baldrick weathers and you can find me at twitter at
arundelio and nowhere else and me and speaker are working on many things for alfred j busa
and other things as well of course then we have speaker d
hello i'm speaker d i remember it so you don't have to um i i'm uh uh alpha busa okay next
you're alpha busa i am alpha busa now it's all revealed no i'm oh good i know where you live
suffering from his sins is thirst and hillman
hi everybody thank you uh for uh another amazing session we got uh one more in two weeks uh before
we go on a little holiday break so i hope you will come back to the uh the mansion of madness as we
delve deeper in and find out what's going on in here and maybe learn a bit more and find out some more
things and yeah i'm very excited otherwise uh you can find me at all things at on call gm i love all
all your faces um that's about it of course i have been your host for this evening i've been
playing or in the strict druid you can find all my stuff at zara and the bear just you can simply
look it up and you'll find all the weird crap that comes around with that name regardless of that thank
you all so much for watching we hope you had amazing time uh with this remember you can come
to our discord to keep updated on stuff we have a whole google calendar if you look in the about
section on twitch or over on our discord to get our uh google calendar of all the streams and shows
that we do when things are happening etc and along with staying up to date via our patreon public
post or on discord as well love you all so very much thank you all so much for contributing to
the show helping us out everything else it's you you are the reason we're able to keep going
so with that so long farewell and we'll see you next time