Why do people cheat?

Get your bag up... and get yourself a baddie. Period.

In this energetic and dynamic third episode of 'Digress with DE,' hosts navigate a lively discussion peppered with humor and personal anecdotes. They dive deep into personal challenges, like vaping addiction, and the impact of past relationships, especially dealing with infidelity and the emotional scars it leaves. Addressing serious topics with a lighthearted tone, they also share about their hobbies, life goals, and career plans. From the intricacies of managing a threesome relationship to thoughts on therapy and personal growth, the duo makes it a rollercoaster of emotions and thoughts. Tune in for candid conversation, laughter, and real stories that are both insightful and relatable.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Kickoff
00:41 Nicotine Addiction and Quitting
02:39 Punctuality and Time Management
05:03 Hobbies and Side Hustles
06:43 Future Aspirations and Goals
11:52 Social Media and Content Creation
18:37 Age Gaps and Relationships
26:14 Cheating and Relationship Ethics
28:55 Defining Cheating: Emotional and Physical Boundaries
29:49 Personal Experiences with Cheating
31:38 The Emotional Impact of Cheating
35:06 Choosing Love Every Day
38:11 Moving On from a Toxic Relationship
55:21 Family and Acceptance
59:09 Conclusion and Listener Engagement


 ----- Follow us on socials @digressdande or call and leave a story for us to talk about on the show at 919-576-9071

Creators and Guests

Host

Des

Host of Digress with D and E

Host

Elena Cranmer

Host of Digress with D and E, social media marketing

What is Digress with D and E?

Welcome to Digress with D & E, where Des and Elena answer your questions, share your stories, and talk about whatever comes to mind. We keep things fun, honest, and a little unpredictable with our takes on random topics and whatever else catches our attention—no script, no filters—just real conversations with plenty of detours along the way. Send us your stories, and we’ll break them down with our thoughts (and probably some side commentary).

003 Digress
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Elena: [00:00:00] Okay. Welcome back guys. Wait. We're rolling now. Girl.

Elena: Welcome back to episode three of digress with DE. Did you say green? Or three? I said three. Three. Episode three. Stop being aggressive. I'm not being aggressive. She stopped smoking a something. No, I didn't. It's been 20 minutes though, addicts, you know. Okay. First of all, yeah, you right. You right. I'm not gonna lie, I am addicted to the nicotine.

I do plan on quitting soon. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I've been going up the stairs, places and like. I can't breathe. So I definitely, yeah, I told her she had to stay away from me for like three weeks if she was gonna do that. You can't do that after She's gotta [00:01:00] withdrawal because there was like two days once she tried to quit and I was literally like, that ain't happening.

I can't. I was like, I'm gonna go get you a little no straight up fruit bar because you're driving me insane. She came out, she was like, you like Cherry, right? Yeah. You like cherry, cherry Cola. Like, what do you need? Because I'm not dealing with this today. Yeah, no, but I do need to, I do need to chill on it.

You know? I've been feeling it a lot in my chest lately and I'm like, whoa. 'cause I have been for a very long time on and off vaping and I need to, the vape epidemic is real. Yeah, real. It's 'cause it was so easy to get at one point in time. Now it's not. So, yeah, especially for kids, it is actually still pretty easy to get.

Literally. Yeah. Like they say, don't air 'em, don't air out the I'm not, I'm just, and what they

Joe: doing?

Elena: I'm not, I'm just saying like. You would think if his band is hard to get. And I thought that was gonna be my last one. The one from the first episode. Okay. There's a lot of things that's banned and pretty easy to get.

True. True. There's a lot of things that [00:02:00] are banned and easy to get. Yeah. I mean, what they have like dating apps for prostitutes, girl, what they do. I was talking about sweet, but Okay. Just saying there's a lot going on. You drove straight to the prostitutes, right? Yeah. I mean that's illegal. What Is that like a bad thing that I said that I don't care.

No, I mean,

Joe: I feel it, you

Elena: know, it's true. And we, you know what I mean, but we just, legal kind of not here. Yeah. They got TCA. You know, like it'll get you something. That stuff make your feet feel like you're floating, not your head. All them chemicals. Girl, tell me why. So I showed up late today. Tell me why she's 10 minutes early.

For every minute that she's early, I will be two minutes late. Best believe it. That's why normally we ride together. Yes. And I knew the moment she was like, yeah, we riding separate today. I was like, well, we're gonna be late. She, she was in the parking lot waiting minutes. I'm sitting in the parking lot, one foot up [00:03:00] on the window, the windows rolled down.

I got my phone and I'm like, she texts me and I go, I go, I'm here. She goes on the way with a little demon face and I go, that means you're late. Heard. Mind you, it's 10 minutes until, and I'm like, she's late for sure. And then at the 10 minute mark, she was supposed to be here, she texts me and goes, I missed my exit.

I know I was so close to being here. Like right on the dot. No she wasn't. She, I was five minutes late. No, no, no, no, no. I had sped and I was going to be. I literally was almost perfectly on the dock 'cause I went through my parking garage. Like f, f, F. Yeah. She's got like a three story, you gotta go three floors up and she whips me around in it and I got fired to go.

And so I'd be in there and I'd be like, Elena, please slow down. We slow down. Should be rolling the window down. Like, yeah, I had to stick my head out the car. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster and I'm like literally not allowed to get on those anymore. My bad, my bad. It doesn't help. Look, I'm just, [00:04:00] I'm just trying to get places, be there on time and that's what works for me.

But also she won't show up early and have her phone be dead. So what are you, I got a girlfriend, which means we got one charger amongst the whole household, which means she gets the charger every night. Okay. Anyway, sands that literally sands that. Um, we do have questions. I have been asked and we're doing a few minutes of those every episode.

Y'all are gonna know my password. It's not that hard. You need to change them. Oh yeah. We went out to Sweet Frog last night and we were talking about that and she was, my girl was like, Hey, what's your card number? 'cause she took my card to get something and um, and she was like, I told her, and Elena goes, that's your code for everything.

Y'all don't mind your business. She needed to change her passwords. That's crazy. Now they gonna be like, [00:05:00] Ooh. It really is that easy, huh? Yeah. Change it mind your business. All right. Anyway, so one of our questions, these are silly, these are so fun. Um, what's your newest hobby? I'm leaving out the weird ones, just so y'all know.

I'm doing the fun ones that aren't weird. I don't know. My normal hobbies would just be like going outside, hiking, eating. That's a hobby for me. Eating. Me too. Uh, yeah. Uh, hiking even. Just, I don't know, like I don't have a crazy amount of hobbies, but I would say like a new thing that I would say is a hobby of mine is find a new maze to make money.

Oh, okay. Hustler. Have I not been? Yeah, you have, I mean like three jobs right now. Random four. Mm-hmm. Yeah. She'll be like my job on jobs. Yeah. She'll be like, I got a new job. Oh. I also sold this thing on Facebook Marketplace also. I'm helping someone build their restaurant. Yeah. Also I'm building menus also.

Yeah. Her regular job. On my regular job, I like money. Yeah. She like money. I like to spend money. [00:06:00] Okay. So I need more money. Okay, girl. That's how it is though. That's real. I mean, that's real. My, tell me what you ain't got. I would say my new favorite hobby is, um, twice a week going out and having a little drink and then coming home and looking at old pictures.

That's a good hobby and eating. I don't do anything. Everything else I Pictures of what? Like, well, I don't know, like old pictures of like me and my old friends and stuff. And why is she like this, bro? What are you suggesting? What are you suggesting? Next question. You're nasty,

Joe: bro. Next question.

Elena: Where do you both see yourself in five years?

God, I hate that question. Oh, this like, my question is, my answer's super long. I don't know. I got a lot of expectations in five years. 'cause if I've accomplished this much in six months, okay, in five years I better [00:07:00] be everywhere but here, you know what I mean? I better have another kid. I said it. I better be married.

Oh my God. I better have a house. I better have a beautiful car. I better have businesses.

This podcast better be flying, rotating in the sky like it up. I better be a food reviewer, like food critic. The sky's the limit. I anywhere but where I'm at, what? Anywhere but where I'm at. I want you, you know what? You in a good spot though. I'm in a great spot, but you, the only way to be comfortable is to get out your comfort zone.

Mm. Okay. So, mm-hmm. I got a lot of comfort zones. I need a break. This is why she says stuff like that reminds me of Jake, the dog from Adventure Time. And I sent her like four tiktoks about Jake the dog, because she won't watch it. I don't watch 'em. She won't watch it, and she won't watch my reels either.

And, or my, my [00:08:00] reels and my tiktoks I send you. And it just, she says stuff like that. She said like, she'll be like, you didn't watch my TikTok. So we're literally together all day long. What time did you do the last night? 10 o'clock? Yeah. Yeah. She was there till 10 o'clock. Yeah. Me and my girl literally went straight to bed afterwards.

I got up at five 30, went to my other job, worked until literally one 20 a second ago. Came home, put in laundry, came over here and that's it. I had no time. I had no time. Excuses. And then she's like, and she's like excuses. She got home last night. She stayed up till four o'clock. She was on her phone like he, I was sweet.

Dogs out toes spread. Literally after the podcast yesterday, we're in the car, she's driving. She puts her foot up on the window, she spreads her toes and it [00:09:00] starts fogging up the glass. It was disgusting. It was not that disgusting. I am a warm blooded creature, so of course my warm air will fog up the gr the glass.

I personally just like to be comfortable when I'm driving. I know everybody drive weird. Cindy, if we get in a car wreck and she's driving her literal knee cap is gonna go behind her head. Like her leg is always up. It's gonna just fold impale. She's gonna be no legs.

Des: If you see someone driving and there's like feet in the corner, it's me.

Yeah,

Elena: me over here, just casually put my foot to the side. No, hers is literally on the windshield. It's going backwards. Like, first of all, it's comfortable. I don't know. That's all I have to say is comfortable. I also left my slides at her house, so now I'm stuck with these. Sorry. I don't know. I just feel some type of way about it.

And I forgot to get them. One thing about Elena, she could dress to a literal tee, but she's gonna be wearing slippers anyway. [00:10:00] So I am five years, see myself as a lawyer. I'm in law school, so I wanna be a lawyer. Um, and hopefully this is doing good, you know, living my life. Uh, I really just want a law degree.

I really don't even care if I end up doing law. But I told myself when I was a kid, I was gonna be in law. And when I was 15, I wanted to be president. They when I was 50. You don't want that? No, I think I do good. I think I do good. She'll be like all men on UFOs. Gone. Yeah. Gone. All cats rule the world. I would say cats take the place of men, you know what I mean?

Like, so if there's a man in Senate, I'm putting a cat right there. Anyway, so I wanted to be the president when I was 15. And so I took all the steps, like I took as many classes I could, all my extracurriculars where debate and all that stuff. I love [00:11:00] po. Like I'm very interested in politics. I like all that.

You did do a lot of debating. She debates every day of her life. I do. And it's fun. It's very entertaining. I did this, my debate got me in scholarships, so I'm not bad at it. Like it was a, it was a slice. So hopefully, um, having a law degree, if I end up being in law and becoming the president, mind your business guys.

Um, actually don't mind your business. Vote for me. Um. Period. I'm speeding every day. I'm speeding. I'm robbing stores. I'm gonna be like, oh, I'm calling my lawyer Elena.

Des: Get here right now. Because she know I can argue. She know when I know the, she can be like, that is not her. Yeah, that

Elena: is her twin.

Des: That's ai.

Elena: Yeah. What are you talking about? You talking about

Des: that

Elena: CTV? That was ai. Yeah. All ai. Yeah. Someone took over the screen. Mm-hmm. So another one, she said, what's the next one? It's what's next? What type of content would you say that you like to put out the most? I don't know. I [00:12:00] think my content's all over the place.

Ooh, my content doesn't make sense. That's good though. Variety is important. Yeah. My like, I could literally be having a one-on-one conversation with me and about 1000 something other people to 3000. Who knows. Or I could be just making like a, a third trap. Okay. I do that sometimes. I hate when she posts those traps.

She hates it. And I love doing it. 'cause I'm like, the people in my life are gonna get so stressed out right now. Like at one point in time I was so cringe on social media, like the word cringe. I was out here in these streets and if you can find these videos. Oh, I'm going red. Are you baby? Oh, I be scrolling.

I was like,

Des: please get

Elena: outta my age, please. I was literally at one point, like on TikTok in my boxers in a tank top, like literally like I was doing transitions from T me to like, oh my god. [00:13:00] You know, when that, that era of yourself, you just wanna be like, crop, delete. Nah, because she still posts 'em, so she's like, I don't post those type, I'm fully clothed.

Well, yeah, she's fully clothed in these ones, but she's like, I'm gay. What do you expect? I'm like, in between, I'm like a hybrid between a male and a female. It's like a combination. Like literally all the guys in the kitchen are like, that's the bro, that's not a girl. And I'm like, until they're not, you calm down until they're not, because they be, bro, I can't.

Des: Okay. I can't,

Elena: for me, I don't really like putting out thirst traps, but I do it because I, um, I do like the TikTok shop stuff, so sometimes I'll promote like lingerie sheet, sometimes 90%. I've slowed down. I have, yeah, I have slowed down a lot on her secret account. She posts a lot of like, talking shit. Yeah.

Videos, which is nice. And it still does get, I don't talk shit. 'cause I, I'm gonna be honest, I get [00:14:00] stressed. Like, I don't wanna, she, I don't wanna go back and forth with, because for me, if, if you are gonna argue with me, I want you to pull up like, girl, I personally don't have time for internet or OID warriors.

Like, that will make me mad. Like, you're behind a keyboard. Just pull up. Yeah. She really don't play. She, I've seen her in people's face before. Just pull up like it's in there like this. Like, let's pull up, let's talk about it. I'm like, oh. She, like, I want you to say exactly what you wanted to say online to my face and then we can, then we can be cool.

But for me, I just, I can't, 'cause then we're gonna start arguing. I just, I like my peaceful air. My peaceful air is great right now. Yeah. My blood pressure has dropped. Mm-hmm. So I'll keep it the way it is. I don't know. I, so I really, my favorite type of content would be the, would be me talking shit.

Honestly. She rage a lot. Yeah. My Range Bay. Yeah. I posted one video, the sound got removed. Uh, the sound got removed because I said, do y'all ever watch something that's like people take really seriously and laugh at [00:15:00] it? So like, I started with Riverdale and then I said like Ben Shapiro. And then I said, I have no business watching Ben Shapiro.

I peg men, pegging men and watching Ben, and it got taken. It get down, taken down immediately and only long enough for Des to see it. She was like, oh, I saw it with the audio. And then like, I went back and it was gone. It was like sound removed. My friends list is literally, this is what I do. So, you know, you have your friends, you have your following, and then you have, what is the other one like for you?

Page, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So every time I go I, I've stopped going to my friend's list, but then I have to support my friend because most of the time it's her and lingerie. And so I'll look up and I'll go 1, 2, 3. Ah, 1, 2, 3. She

Des: opened me, get my bag

Elena: one, two because I let, I gotta let her get her views.

You know, like I, I gotta let the views stick and then I'll scroll and then there'll be a rage bait one and I'm like, okay. And then I'll watch it and it'll be something Rage beatty as fuck. And I'm just like, okay. And then I'll go back to my regular four review page. It's cool though. [00:16:00] Most of the people that follow me will like watch my lives and stuff.

They'll be like, oh, she ain't like that. But most of what I say, it is rage ba but I mean it like, I meant that one. She says things sometimes. My partner bro, we'll say things in public, we'll be talking and we'll be like, blah. We're not gonna say what we be saving, but 'cause it's not okay. It's not, um, like we we're self-aware though.

We're self-aware that things we say are not okay to say out loud. But if we're talking to each other, it's not out loud. I don't know. I don't care. Yeah, we're like, and so we'll say it. Yeah, we'll say it and then she'll be like, you guys can't say that in public. And we're like, who gonna stop me? Who goes Stop.

Like, what do you mean, bro? Yes, we can, we can say that. And she's like, and then she'll cut us down, like each specific sentence as to why we couldn't say that. And then we're like, love her though, because she, she liter mother. Mother. She literally is telling us exactly. We like, we shouldn't, shouldn't have said that, huh?

Oh my God. And then, um, we have one [00:17:00] more question. Oh yeah. Do you ever look at like the STEM tab on TikTok? Sorry, that just like came in my head. No, I thought they deleted it. No, they still have the, it stressed me out. I kept going to it and then I was learning stuff. I, I was like, oh my God. Go. It's like Bill and I, I'm like, okay, bill and I, I didn't see you in a minute.

No, I didn't like it. I'm not gonna lie. One of my friend's friends went to New York and saw Bill Nye on the subway. Really? Yeah, for a while everyone thought he was dating ssa. That was crazy. That would've

Joe: been really crazy. That would, I kind of love it though. Disturbing.

Elena: No, I kind of love it. That was kind of cute.

That man is ridiculously

Joe: old.

Elena: No, he's not. He's How old is Bill N? Hold on. Bill Nye's, like, probably like 69. How old is Bill? Nine. Oh, he is literally 69. Is he really 69? Yeah, he's 60. Show it nine. Show it show.

Joe: I didn't know that. Bill nine is 69

Elena: years. He's 69 years old. Something about that lucky number.

Wait, how old is ci? I'm, I just need to know. 27. She's 35. That's not bad, eh? That's not okay. No, that's not [00:18:00] okay. That's like 32 year different. They're older. They're older though. When he was, when he was 32 years old. When he was older than I am, she wasn't even born.

Joe: What do you mean, bro? You

Elena: wanna talk about age gaps,

Joe: bro?

Elena: I get judged for my age gap. And we're talking about a, you aren't bad 32 year age. I'm judging that. Like you're th you're a grown person. You've been married, divorced, had four kids, divorced since, been married, have four kids, and your girlfriend isn't even out the womb. I thought you were talking about at 69, but like different stages.

I don't know. Like, I think Okay. That's a, that's a huge debate and it's a big thing that's been going on right now. And probably because people hear me talk about it like, you know, 'cause when my phone's just sitting there, it listens to everything I say. Mm-hmm. I was talking about Canes the other day.

Next day Canes pops up on my phone. I'm like, I never even like looked that crap up. We posted about cans though. Yeah, I was talking about wedding rings. Next thing you know, I got like carrot rings going down. I'm like, whoa, what is going [00:19:00] on? Mm-hmm. I talk about a dog. Next thing you know you wanna buy a dog?

No, I don't wanna buy a freaking dog. Yeah. Hell no. Like, oh my god. And so I forgot where I was going with that. Uh, you was talking about the age gaps. She does this a lot. Age gaps. Oh yeah, age gaps. I do this and so there was a whole thread. No, she does this for me a lot. She'll be like you were talking about, I'm getting old, bro.

I don't know what to tell you. And so I'm going through the threads and I'm self-conscious. I don't know. I'm dating a younger woman and for me personally, I've always looked at like super big age gaps as like, y'all don't have a big age gap, but No, but no, here's my thing is I always told myself I wouldn't date like a younger girl that was like three years younger than me, and then I met my girlfriend and I was like, but I don't think it's kind of crazy.

It's, it's, but you can't talk. Yeah. First of all,

you're gonna be quiet

Des: right now,

Elena: you're [00:20:00] gonna take

Des: that shit.

Elena: All I'm saying is, is like if you, I feel like okay, once you're over the age of like 30, the age gaps don't look as scary. Like, should you, should you be dating a 60, a 69-year-old at 30, 35? You really shouldn't. That's your grandfather, that's your grandfather's grandfather.

Honest, that's not your grandfather. 35. That's not a grandfather. I mean, it could be. It is. Hypothetically, if it's my family, it's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We let, we, we have kids young in this family. My mom had me at 36. That's not bad. My mom had me at 36. Yeah. She look young, don't she? Mm-hmm. She does look young.

I didn't expect that weight. Yeah, she, I don't know. So don't, nevermind. I don't wanna, don't air her out. She's gonna be like, she's in her fifties.

Des: Elena, how dare you talk about my age? Yeah. I literally,

Elena: you're gonna get. Fuck that. Yeah. Plus my mom. No, my [00:21:00] mom's like redneck and Russian, so I'm trying to deal with that.

She will be you. I'm a little scared of

Joe: her. I gonna

Elena: lie. The first time Des ever heard my mom talk, my mom was calling me and she was like, Elena, where the hell are you? Because she was supposed to meet up with us. 'cause I was moving and Des was like, oh my God, that your mom? That was like, y'all stressing me out.

Oh my God. And then literally she was coming to finish off like bringing some stuff and they were arguing, like they were like arguing. And I was like, that's how we show our love. That really is how we show our love. I said, I'm gonna stay in the car. Yeah. My mom and I will are good. My mom and I stay right here.

We'll go from arguing to like being totally chill. 'cause right when my mom came back down, she was like, thank you Des for hopping. Yeah. Des was like, I was so whiplash. I was like, I mean, they were literally yelling at each other. They're going in the building arguing like Elena's looking back and her mom's like, and then they're going the door and then she comes back out and they're both like.

And I'm like, oh my gosh, we real, we ain't got nothing to hide. Yeah. I mean, it is what it [00:22:00] is. That's how me and my grandma are, so I don't even know. All right. One more question is, what's your favorite type of place to food review? Every place room. Literally. Coffee shops, I think. Yeah, I think coffee shops.

I think all, I don't know. I really enjoyed The Wing Review. We did. Mm-hmm. Like, uh, I think it was Dirty Myrtle. Mm-hmm. Dirty Myrtle. It was amazing. We got a new wing review coming soon, by the way. We do. I'm really excited for it. I'm gonna plug it just because I love them. Yeah. It's the Aboves over, they're in the dive.

They do First State Wings. They literally pull the cartilage out of the Yeah. So you can just eat it. One go. One go. Oh one. Go One Bone. Oh my God. And it's so good. So, yep. That's coming up. That's coming up. That's coming up. You I that on the Instagram. Hmm. So yeah, I would say that my favorite place to Food Review has to be coffee shops.

Yeah. She loves coffee shops. She's always like, let's go review your coffee shop. And I'm like, all right babe. I had to chill on caffeine recently because I was, I would wake up, I would make my own coffee at home, and then an hour later I would go to a [00:23:00] coffee shop, get a coffee to work. Like I work from home.

A lot of the work I do is at home, so it's nice to just like sit at a coffee shop and do my work. So I'll have a coffee there and then I would come home and have has caffeine in it, and then I'll be like, oh, I'm gonna go out for a little bit. I'll go out with my friends and I'll have like vodka, red Bulls all night.

I woke up like, I felt like a raisin. I felt shriveled up. I was like, oh my God, your body. Morning. I, my job probably had like this, you know what, I did have a few cups of water at the bar because I was like, it's time for me to have a water. It wasn't immune system yet. No. And so I did that for like three days straight and I was like, on the third day I rose and I was like, God,

Joe: I

Elena: can't, I can't.

So I did one cup of coffee, which is crazy for me, for I every day for like a week. One cup of coffee for a week and I was like, oh my God. I didn't even have Diet Dr. Pepper. I was just like, I can't feel like a shriveled up raisin anymore. I don't, she always has a cup of [00:24:00] coffee in her hand. There was an incident that happened that we're not gonna speak about, but she comes up to my job and she's, I mean, it's bright and early and she's got a cup of coffee and she's just swirling and she's like, what's going on?

Yeah, it was some, it was some messed up shit that happened at her job. Yeah. Yeah. And her girl texted me like, Alina, you need to go to my way. Yeah. I was there and I was in my pajamas and my cup had bow ties on it. I was already to fight with my little bows on my cup and I was sitting there like, what's happening?

Had the spoon in it and everything. I'm like, bro, I'm just working. Nah, I wasn't playing. I'm getting some stuff done. I was ready. I got stuff to do. I. Anyway, but when I pull back up, you like, when I call back up, people are like, oh yeah. Like there's about to be some big motherfuckers coming, and then I got these little small, it's me backups on the way, guys.[00:25:00]

Des: I will. And then when flying squirrel bitch, when you pull back up, they don't expect what they get. Yeah. They're like, yeah,

Elena: I don't care. That's that big bitch right there.

Des: When I come back up, I'm like, yeah, my, my girl

Elena: is coming. Yeah. My home girl, she's gonna come beat. Mm-hmm. And then like, oh, your little, your little extension girl.

She going and then they see me and they're like, yeah. Like, but then they the opposite. They're like, there's gonna be another big bitch coming through. Hell yeah. And then in, and she's like. Oh, my coffee cup, she got her slippers on and her robe hold my coffee. She got her bonnet on. Hold my coffee.

Des: If I'm taking the bonnet off my Aries come out.

Elena: Yeah. Then I got you. Yeah. But until then, I'm like, can someone explain what's going on real quick? Do I need to call hr? Yeah. What's going on right now? Mm-hmm. Listen, it's gonna get handled. Yep. Some way somehow. Yeah. We got a story,

Joe: guys. First. Ever story, first story.

Elena: [00:26:00] So funny. Anyway, um, it's not really a story though.

We didn't actually, they didn't, they didn't give us a full story, but they gave us things that they would like us to talk about. Mm-hmm. And you can tell that it happened to them. So I'm gonna read something. Mm-hmm. It says, um, let's talk about cheating on your partner specifically. Let's talk about cheating on your partner that you're with when you're with them for six years.

How about that? You give six years of your life to somebody and then they cheat on you. It is not just that. It's not just that they cheat on you, they cheat on you, get with someone else. And then here's what's funny. Alright? I haven't, oh wait, okay, now you're gonna say things that don't matter. Hold on. Um, I'm gonna remain anonymous.

So, but what's funny is you cheat on somebody. You get with someone else, you stay with them, and then you hit the other person up texting about all your life problems. And then you block them on everything and you stay with that person. And then not only that, you repost shit on TikTok that makes you look like a victim.

Victim of what? [00:27:00] You're not a victim. What is this? Like what is this? This shit I'm seeing you're not a victim. I'm reading it. Bar for bar. Just, sorry, bar for bar. She's not joking. I've read it. I don't know what you are, but you're not a victim and you're post shit about being in love, motherfucker. You're in love because you cheated on me.

What? I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, but be anonymous. And I think it's funny, um, uh, she posts shit and it's like, I'm so in love, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, motherfucker, you're only in love because you cheated on me. That's crazy. That's not even the topic. The topic is cheating on your significant other.

What the fuck is that? That is crazy. Um, but yeah, like maybe like dive into subtopics, like, yeah, this girl could cheat on me. And she's like, oh, I'm a victim. It was toxic. I'm a victim. You're my savior. Love you. Like what? No. Anyways, make sure this is anonymous. It is very anonymous. Nobody will ever know who that is.

I promise you. We don't even know who that is. Yeah. Um, [00:28:00] going in, going in. But going in on that subject, you wanna start? Um, me personally, cheating is crazy. I hate cheating. I hate the idea of it. I have had my moments where I've thought other people are attractive in relationships, but I've never like talked to someone else while I've been with someone romantically.

I have not, I'm, I'm not smiling 'cause of you. Oh, okay. I was like, I, I seriously haven't, um, I've just been like, like what we were talking about last episode mm-hmm. Where like, I've been checked out and then I'll be like, oh, that waitress is hot.

Des: Yeah.

Elena: But I don't do anything. She won't act on it. No, I, I, I believe like, very heavily and ending things before you.

Mm-hmm. Like, if you're to the point where you're going to cheat, send a text. Honestly, I, I, I'm not against, she'll literally send a text. Like if I feel like I'm in a scenario where I'm about to kiss somebody, I'd be like, hold on, I gotta break up with someone real quick. Alright, this isn't working. Now we can kiss.

That's how I feel about that. That might be a piece of shit move, but I'm not going. There's a, so she is emotional cheating too though. And if you get to the [00:29:00] point, in my opinion, if you get to the point where you're about to kiss someone, you've already started cheating. I don't think so. I think, I think so.

I think that cheating is a long list of things. Mm-hmm. I think cheating could be sending a text to someone that, you know, you're not supposed to be texting, um, that no-go person. Everyone has that no-go person. Your partner's like, do not text that motherfucker. And if you text that motherfucker, I'm sorry, it's cheating.

That's valid. Is cheating. That's valid. I see that. And if you get to the point where someone is comfortable enough to come up to you and want to kiss you, you have flirted enough with them in some shape or form to make them feel comfortable enough to come kiss you shit. No, you're right, you're right. I just, it's, it's,

Des: I'm a piece of shit y'all.

No, but on that subject,

Elena: I have cheated before she said on that subject, I have cheated before and again, it was when I was younger. I've been cheated [00:30:00] on and I have done the cheating. And I will say, I. I felt like an absolute ball of shit. Um, and there's probably a lot of cheaters out there who genuinely can cheat and just skip the next day and act like it never happened and not give a fuck about the situation.

Des: Yeah.

Elena: But me personally, when I cheated, I was genuinely like, wow, I'm a shitty person. And I almost, I almost couldn't like move forward with the person that I was with at the time because of the fact that I knew I had cheated. And I felt like my relationship at that time, because the situation was very close to, I cheated on someone, but with someone that I had strong feelings for.

And obviously when you cheat again, it's a span of time. It's you building a connection with someone and you're slowly pulling away from that original relationship to be with another person. Um, which again. If you're doing that, that that whole line of things you're doing, that whole list of things you're doing is counted as [00:31:00] cheating.

'cause even from start to finish, if you start being able to develop feeling for, for someone, there's something you're talking about with something, there's the comfortability there that you shouldn't have with another person except for your partner. I don't work like that though. Like seriously, I've had like the, the last relationship I was in, where I was that happy and I never in my life would I even think about being in a situation mm-hmm.

Where I could cheat. Mm-hmm. Or like where I would be like sending a message, like where I would break up with them or anything like that. I, the last person that I loved, truly never. I would've never done anything to hurt him or like mm-hmm. At all. Ever, ever, would you say though, it comes down to the person you're with, like, if you genuinely don't, and that's because that's something I feel if you don't love someone as much as you think you do.

Mm-hmm. Maybe you're just in that love bomb era, or you're just not technically that you're love bombing each other, but that you, it's a fresh, new relationship, but that you haven't actually gotten to know how incompatible you guys just are [00:32:00] until you meet someone that gives you everything you're actually looking for in a partnership.

So, or you remember someone who did that. Anyway, so for, for me, for like, I don't know, like I. Also when it comes to like, flirting or like mm-hmm. Situations where you could cheat. I don't even when I was with people that I didn't like love. Mm-hmm. I was just kinda, and I don't wanna say that I was dating just today because I didn't know that I don't date someone unless in my head I'm like, I could see a future with them, but it, I just always get to this point where I miss this other person.

It just always happens. The last few relationships I've been in. And, um, so like, I don't text other dudes when I'm with them or other girls or other aliens. Yeah. I don't, they, them, I don't care. Like non-binary. I don't care. I'm, I don't care about gender, but I don't text other people that I would potentially have feelings for mm-hmm.

When I date those people. But I could see like. Going out with homegirls and then like meeting [00:33:00] someone there.

Des: Mm-hmm.

Elena: Is that, then I'm like, oh, you're attractive. That's when I would break up with them. Yeah. Like that kind of, I think if you can, I think first of all, let's all not be completely oblivious to the fact that we're humans and we're allowed to find other people attractive.

Like I was gonna say, do

Des: you think that's cheating? I,

Elena: I don't think you seeing someone attractive is cheating. I don't think that that even, but I do think if you put yourself in a position to get comfortable with that person, you find attractive. Like you know what's gonna happen. You know that if you overstep those boundaries with a person you find attractive, like first step to a relationship is finding someone attractive.

You don't go up to someone you don't find attractive and be like, yeah, let's get this going. Like, I mean, how comfortable do you have to be with someone to kiss them? I don't know. I feel like both of you have to have a vibe with each other to just go, Hey, you're not just gonna walk up to a stranger on the street and be like, ah.

Come on now. Come on now. Don't do that. I have every person that I've kissed, I've had some sort of connection [00:34:00] with, or I could tell they wanted it. It wasn't, yeah, it wasn't. I'm not gonna go kiss someone that I know doesn't want it. So, so if you're showing someone, and whether it's those flirty eyes or whether it's just like a look or a ga or if they ask, or a way you're dancing with someone, like, first of all, why are you dancing with someone?

Yeah. If you're in a relationship like mm-hmm. So many boundaries. But cheating is horrible. Cheating is not okay. And especially if you've been in a relationship with ship with someone for six. Six, yeah. That's absolutely crazy. At that point, you've, you've set up boundaries. You set up what you don't want in a relationship, what you do want, you know, after.

I personally think, you know, after. Four months, I'd say in a relationship whether that relationship is gonna work or whether it's not, but people change and how people can grow. I agree. People can grow, people can regress as well. Yeah. In relationships. Yeah. So when people change in relationships there, there comes a point where it's like, you know, you could be with someone and it's been six years, right?

Yeah. And then all of a sudden this person is like changing backwards or forwards. Mm-hmm. [00:35:00] And you're like, shit, I don't wanna be with this new version of this person. But also you love them. You love them. Yeah. So like. I always think like love is a choice. I've never ever thought like it can start as a feeling.

Mm-hmm. But choosing to love someone every day is like real valid. Like you can't just like rely on how you're feeling about someone whole life. Yeah. Because those feelings will dwindle over time. You're gonna have arguments, you're gonna have kids, like kids can be a strain on your relationship. You're gonna buy houses, you're gonna like, you're going to have bills together.

Like all those things are gonna tax on the love you have for that person. And when your love is really, really, really, really low for that person, you're gonna have to have that choice to love them. Mm-hmm. And so I do agree that love is a choice. Like you have to choose to love your partner every day.

Like you're having an absolute shit day with your partner. Like my partner the other day was just like not feeling anything like she was in the absolute most fallous mood and valid, she has a lot of stress going on right now, and life is not easy. It's fucking hard. But like I could have made the choice to be [00:36:00] like, I'm super tired right now.

I've worked a lot and I want to just go home and I wanna go to sleep. But instead, I was like, my partner right now currently is in a very not good mindset. She loves nature, she wants to be outdoors. Let's go outdoors. Let's go kayak. Let's go do something to boost her mental so that she can continue on to the next day, you know?

So again, love is a choice. So I do agree that love is a choice and it's a choice you have to make every single day. And in small decisions. I don't think that you should like micromanage your relationships to the point of like, is that okay? Is that okay? But I do think that if. In situations. Again, love is a choice, so you should choose there.

There comes a point like, I don't know, for me, like there comes a point where it's like, I can't choose to love you no more. Mm-hmm. I'm done. And probably happens with me too. Mm-hmm. Because I could be mad annoying, I could be frustrated little bit. And so yeah. Even my friends are like, Ooh, we take breaks from each other.

Yeah. Like I think I stress her out sometimes. She stressed me out. So we gotta take like day [00:37:00] breaks from each other. That's normal. That's human day or two day breaks from each other. That is, and then we're ready to go back. Mm-hmm. But again, we choose to stay in a relationship. 'cause there's sometimes, like when we are on off, we could choose to just not continue our friendship, which would be stupid.

Exactly the same as it would be stupid to in a six year long relationship. Unless

Joe: you,

Elena: yes. Unless you genuinely just don't love the person anymore and it's okay. It is 1000% okay to fall out of love with someone after six years. Like you're not obligated to love that person forever. But now it's your duty to that person, someone you've been with and shared six long years together to be like, okay, I've gotta break up with this person no matter how hard it's gonna hurt.

'cause I do feel like cheating is the easier route. Yeah. I feel like owning up to your problems and being like, Hey, I genuinely we're not on the same page. And watching someone that you've been with for six years break down in front of you and be like, what? We can fix this. We can [00:38:00] fix this. Knowing you can't, that's gonna be a lot harder than just going out, finding a relationship and cheating on someone.

Mm-hmm. Like 1000%. I think that that's why people choose to cheat, but that's not okay at all. Um, do you think that cheaters can be victims? Like how he was saying that she was posting tiktoks about it and that kind of thing. Do you think that cheaters can be victims? I don't. I think that some people will cheat out of how terrible their relationship is.

Mm-hmm. And I don't think that makes either of you a victim. I think that. How you choose to do things is what makes you either a victim or not victim. Mm-hmm. So if you choose to leave, you're being treated like shit. You're in a WHO relationship and you choose to leave. Leave. Yeah. And then, okay, you can play the victim card.

I don't like that, but it is what it is. Like you can choose to leave and be the victim and that's okay. But if you choose to then go in spite and do something back to retaliate, then you're both just shitty people. Yeah. Like both of you, you're both [00:39:00] shitty people at that point. Like just leave the relationship.

Yeah. But again, that comes with like age wisdom and being with people and finding someone that you genuinely, truly love. Because if you are going to cheat on someone no matter what, you don't love them. Yeah. Like you don't love them. Because I've also, I've been in relationships where things could get so bad and I would just never leave.

Yeah. Like I've had a point where like, like. I don't know, one of my first real relationship ever. It took me a lot to leave. Yeah. I was with him for a while and he cheated on me and did all that and whatever. Mm-hmm. And I just completely like, ignored it Yeah. And let it go. Yeah. And, um, I think I, I also did some messed stuff.

I didn't, I wouldn't say I cheated. Well, maybe where you were like emotionally because mm-hmm. Um, you're emotionally checked out at that point though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like, it was like, he, he had cheated on me. I found out, uh, I was like, I'll actually tell this. I don't mind. I was in a, I was in the mental hospital because when I was a, in, um, high school, I was a crazy teenager email.

Yeah. And I like, yeah. And I [00:40:00] did like a bunch of crazy drugs. I overdosed and so just casually I overdosed. I overdosed. Yeah. That happened. And I went to the mental hospital and I was with him, and I think what hurt the most, I was literally like 15 and I was like, um, over and over and over again, telling people the mental hospital, like, I have a boyfriend and he's not gonna cheat.

He's so great. Whatever. You're like this big or wrong. Yeah. I was like, and they're like old people, like girl. Yeah. Well it was the children's one. Um, but they were, most of them were older. Yeah. Um, and I mean, at the time he was pretty much living with me. Like he stayed at my house all the time and, um, he had, he cheated on me while I was in the middle.

And I found out when I got back, like a month after I had gotten back, I had found out and I was like, what? I told everyone Yeah. I told all of my homies at the hospital that you were not cheating on me. And he definitely was. And um, I stayed after that for a while. Yeah. Like, uh, you know, got me cat type [00:41:00] shit.

Like I stayed for a little bit. I was, I was there for the guy with the cat As the guy with cat as you cat. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, it took me a lot to be able to leave, but after the whole cheating thing I did kind of check out emotionally. That was like my first experience of being like. I hate like the, I hate my boyfriend, final boss.

Mm-hmm. Like, I was like, I can't stand this guy. Yeah. Um, but like, we hang out all the time, you know? Yeah. And, um, I was texting actually the person who I ended up dating next, uh, um, very like randomly, like, I would add him on Snap and like text him, and then I would unad him and I'd be like, my, my boyfriend's around.

You know, like, whatever. But like, we were cool. You were cheating? Yeah, I was cheating. That is cheating. Yeah. Emotional cheating. I mean, we didn't do anything, but that is technically, yeah. Yeah. When you go seeking another person's comfort to get away from your relationship, you're cheating. Mm. Hands down.

Which again, situations and relationships, like you might be in a shitty relationship and you just, you don't know how to leave the relationship. So your idea of leaving it is to go see someone [00:42:00] else and be with someone else so that you are able to move on. It happens sometimes. Yeah. I think that the best choice is always gonna be just to leave.

Mm-hmm. Before you do anything like that. And it's hard. One other thing that was added in there that um, he wanted us to talk about was the, uh, fact that she's dating that person now.

Des: Yeah. And

Elena: he feels some type of way about it. And then I'm gonna read you something else that was written there, but she's dating someone now.

Yeah. Who is that person? Yeah. That he cheated on with? So she cheated and then she moved on and they're still quote unquote happy or whether they are happy or not. Mm-hmm. I think at that point doesn't matter. And she still texts him sometimes. I think that at that point you have to make a choice to stop communicating with her.

Yeah. That is, you are your own piece at that point. Mm-hmm. You have to cut it off. You have to stop talking to her. Mm. And whether or not she's happy with someone she cheated on you with, that's not your relationship anymore. Real. That's not your girl. It's not anything on you. Like at the end of [00:43:00] the day, why would you wanna be with someone that cheated on you?

Des: Mm-hmm.

Elena: Why? Why would you think that that's gonna be a productive relationship? Like, I don't, I, I couldn't do that. Like, at the end of the day, if she's happy and she's with someone, this is what I always tell people. I have no hate for anyone in this world. So at the end of the day, what you did to me, whatever might have happened, it is what it is.

Mm-hmm. Like, let it go. If the, she wants to be happy with someone, let her be happy with someone, like whether you think she deserves it or not. And I think that's where it comes down. Do you think, why does she deserve to be happy with someone she cheated on you with? Who knows? I mean, that's the question of all time.

But at the end of the day, like you shouldn't even be worrying about her. You better get your bag up. Get your career up and go find you a badie. Like point blank period. Go find you a badie. Go have some pretty ass kids, or whatever you wanna do with your life, but go get your bag up and stop worrying about your ex.

No, that shit would drive me insane. That shit would drive me insane. Don't think about it like [00:44:00] that. Shit. It's hard. Not for a reason. No, I disagree. At the end of the, you're doing yourself a disserve disservice thinking about your ex and what they're doing currently at this time, you're doing yourself a huge disservice.

Worry about your future and only your future. Elena will not agree with me, but I just like an ex is an ex. Like our time passed, it's time to go over. It did happen and it hurt and it sucks. We get that. But at the end of the day, go get your bag up. Go do your thing. You can get your bag up and still think about your ex.

I mean, you can get your bag up, but you're again, doing yourself a disservice by continuing to think about a person that's no longer gonna in your life. How do you need to stop though? You move on. I think that, I personally think that if you are still wondering and wishing and hoping on your ex, you're still in a way infatuating in love with them.

Okay. Like, and that might not be the case in this situation, but I, I think you [00:45:00] should. If you and I, I saw in the text, if you're looking at repost, that means you're looking at the page, baby.

Des: Mm-hmm. True. Don't look at their pages. That's

Elena: true. Don't do that to their self. Social media is a image, it is a cover.

It is not real life. You are going to put your best and happiest moments on social media. It's so hard not to look those sometimes, like I get what he's saying. I get it. I get, I get what he's saying and going back and looking. 'cause hell, everyone's done it before. Fuck I've done it before. Mm-hmm. You've gone and looked at your ex's pages.

Mm-hmm. But like, what is that doing for you? What do you gain from that? To not nothing to know what they're doing on social media. They're on social media. I put my best pictures up. I don't choose my ugliest pictures. Mm-hmm. I don't take a picture of me at McDonald's. I take a picture of me at the nicest restaurant I go to.

Mm-hmm. You know, you don't, you're not gonna put a picture up of if you got your house foreclosed or if you're putting up whether you got a house. Some people do your, the point is, is your story online is not your story in real life. Yeah. It's just the truth. So you don't know [00:46:00] what's going on in Shorty's life.

Yeah. You really don't. So don't sit around driving yourself crazy, wondering what's going on in shorty's life, period. It doesn't matter. Let me read this other part. I haven't met someone else because I don't want to meet someone else. That's another thing.

When you cheat on someone after that long and stay with the other person, people seriously need to know how long that fucks someone's brains up for. Yeah. That shit does permanent damage. If I could come, okay, nevermind. Oh, I wouldn't wish it on. He said, oh. He said, if I came and spoke on the podcast, I would, because that shit creates a mental disability that nobody talks about.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's a feeling of what's the point, or why would I ever put myself in a position to be that vulnerable again? Yeah. I mean, I, I get that like cheating is a lasting impact. Like I said, I've been cheated on it and I've done the cheating, and I wouldn't wish cheating on anyone, and I wouldn't wish being cheated on anyone, but.

At some point, you have to be like, okay, I deserve happiness. Mm. Because you deserve happiness. Like no matter if you've been cheated on or not, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to [00:47:00] go find a light. Like whatever you've done in the past, you still deserve to be happy. Or whatever has happened to you in the past, you still deserve to be happy.

So that means you either gotta go to therapy and figure out those things that that person did to you. And yeah, you might seem like, it might seem like it's super unfair that this person did something to you, but you have to deal with it. And it is, it's unfair, it sucks. It's not okay. But what are you gonna do to further your life and make yourself better?

What are you gonna do to pick yourself up? Because not everybody's gonna do that to you. There's gonna be somebody out there that's going to fulfill all your wishes and do all that. And yeah, you're gonna, you're gonna be scared that it's gonna happen again. You're gonna have your traumas in your relationship, like that's gonna happen.

But again, therapy, like, there's all these things out here to help you move on and further find, but sitting there and relying and reliving that relationship, it's not gonna help you. I, it's just my take. Like it's not gonna help you at all. Period. Key their car. Yeah. Do, do not key their car. Okay, nevermind.

Keying cars are horrible. Move on from her, [00:48:00] move on. Like, I cannot say it enough. Just move on from the relationship. The relationship happened. It's over. It's not coming back and you don't want it to come back. Like, I promise you, you don't want that relationship back. That relationship ended for a reason.

Now it's time to go find you a badie and do your thing. But what if that baddy could never be them? Type shit. Like I, I'm sorry. I'm go to therapy. I'm be sorry. Therapy. Okay. Therapy doesn't work for everybody. I'm, I'm not gonna lie, you need to go to therapy. No therapy don't work for everybody. You need to go find something that you love for yourself and focus on that.

You need to find love within yourself. 'cause if you're still holding onto something in the past that has to do with a relationship, then it's just you Don's Do you think that people, do you think it's worth it for people to get back together? Oof. I think that's a next, next, that's a long conversation 'cause, because in my opinion, people can be in stages of life, right?

Mm-hmm. And, and I'm religious, but like, I, I think God can [00:49:00] make you separate for a while. Yeah. To become who he wants you to be. Mm-hmm. Or like who you're meant to be, either way religious or not. Mm-hmm. You can step away from that and be like, I'm not ready. I need to figure stuff out right now. Like, no matter what it is.

And then you can like sometimes come back to it. Now if you got disrespected to the point where you were like, cheated on, like messed up. I don't, I feel like that disrespect does show you what you need to know about the relationship. And at that point I say key there, car or go to therapy,

Joe: um, key their car or go to therapy.

I did not, can't do both. Only do one. I did not say key. Their car, I'm

Elena: kidding. Allegedly key their car. So, but at the end of the day, like you can, you can. Do things to kind of move on from that, it's gonna hurt, that's gonna suck. And putting that energy into other things is beneficial probably. Mm-hmm.

Could or could not be keying their car. Don't key, I'm sorry, you, lemme me stop. These are two opposite perspectives right now. Someone that's like, I'm not over my ex and I'm not playing with you. And then the one that's like, I'm over my ex exes. Like, it is what it is. [00:50:00] Like shit happens. But this is the thing, like, it's a lot.

I think that when you are in something that you see a very big future with mm-hmm. And potential, potential future with, and you see, um, kind of the light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah. It's very different than someone who is like, I'm, I can't be with anyone because it makes me feel vulnerable. That's hard.

And that is like, okay, go to therapy. Nevermind. There's bat out there. There's a bad out there for you. I'm telling you there's a bad out there for you. I don't care what you say. Like there's a bad out there for everybody. So there is Yeah, yeah, yeah. There, I mean, there's millions of people on this planet or what do we call man, like a.

Like a, a hotty, I don't know, a batty. I I'm talking male batty man. Yeah. There's a male batty or there's a batty for you. There's someone out there for you though, like, yeah, but I, so the question is, is repeat it so that I can, I had a story, I had something to say and then it, I forgot what I asked. Oh,

I that No, I, no, you said no. Said, um, going back to a relationship. [00:51:00] Yeah, yeah. Going back. I personally think that, again, if like horrible, traumatic things haven't happened, yes, there's always a potential to go back, but what have you guys done in the meantime to change and be better so that relationship doesn't end up the exact same way, thinking that way.

Yeah. So have you just wallowed in your pity? No. Or have you grown? Wait,

or have you just, this is my hair? Or have you again separated yourself and grown into a person that you love and enjoy being around? Period. Like that relationship is gonna end up the exact same way. Yeah. If not, or like it's, it's also like it takes two takes. So also like it takes two. So it has to be both of you also, both of you done stuff to grow from that.

So that going back to someone thing is like it ha, it rarely happens because of the fact that like, you both have to be in that same mindset, that same timeframe. Like, because if you're going back to the exact same thing, it ended for a reason. Yeah. Like 1000% it ended for a [00:52:00] reason. Why did it end if you didn't?

If you didn't fix those issues, it's not gonna work. Yeah. You're going back to the exact same thing. So did you both grow, did you both do what you needed to do in the time away from each other? Mm-hmm. Do you love yourselves ready to go into this relationship? Mm-hmm. And have you forgiven each other for what has happened?

What happened originally? Forgiveness. Yeah. 'cause if you didn't forgive each other for what happened in the original, it's gonna come up. You're not gonna move on from it. You didn't move on from it, you didn't heal. Then you go get mad that they put the toilet paper on the wrong way and then you're gonna go key their car with the toilet paper.

You're gonna be like, you remember that time where you left me for three years? Yeah. That's why you should put the toilet paper roll on. It's just gonna be a constant thing coming up. So me personally, I just think that like you really, that's why it hardly happens. So what about, how do you feel about people being in open relationships?

Because that takes out the cheating, right? Because technically you can't cheat in an open relationship. I mean, I'm down for everything. I'm not personally down for everything. I'm monogamous. [00:53:00] But you can understand other people. I can understand other people I think personally. So it's hard for me to say I understand because again, I'm monogamous.

I couldn't be with two people at one time. I'm too possessive. Like what is mine is mine, do not play with mine. Mm-hmm. Um, and like my partner that I have right now is the exact same way. Like, we don't play that. Mm-hmm. But. I could see how three people could love each other. It's just, gosh, that's a lot.

That's a lot of people to love. But I love that y'all, I love that y'all have that much love to give. I love that because I don't have that much love to give. I could barely love

Joe: one person like God. Like what?

Elena: Like you stress me out. My girl stresses me out and next thing you know, I go upstairs. I want to get away.

Now my other girl's staring at me. Hell no. Oh my God. I just, now I gotta go to the grocery store, but my other girl want to go with me. That just pissed me off. But now I wanna shower. How we all three fitting in the shower. I don't even get to shower alone as it is now. I got a third person in there. Oh my gosh.

I couldn't do that. But some people do it, but valid y it'll be doing it and y'all be making it work. [00:54:00] Well, not even like polyamorous, like people who will be with one person. Mm-hmm. And they will go off and they will. Hook up with another person. Go on a date with another person. Okay. So, and then come back home.

I'm gonna be honest. No. Okay. I'm gonna be honest. I thought we were talking about poli poly. I thought we were talking about poly, like you're all three in a relationship. I'm not. I'm sorry. But if you're in like a straight up, open relationship and you're just going fucking other people to fulfill your desires, like why is your partner not fulfilling your desires?

Mm-hmm. You just are playing games. Unless it's lavender. I respect lavender marriages quite a bit, but why we in a lavender marriage, some people's gay's 2025 gay, but the opposite of gays, like, you're a gay man, but a gay woman, y'all ain't fulfilling nothing. Well, the holes ain't working. You know, people have really messed up families.

There's places in the world where you have to do stuff like that. Love yourself. Okay. I'm saying there's places where people have to, I'm not talking about other places in the world. I'm talking about America. Okay. Some people in America have to do that. Their families. You better tell [00:55:00] your family go fuck their selves.

Like I've done it before. I'm sorry, but I'm gonna love who I wanna love. And y'all can judge all you want. I've walked into so many places, people stare at me, and you know what? I'm gonna get my bagel.

Joe: Mm-hmm.

Elena: And who gonna say something about it? I'm gonna get my, nobody's gonna say nothing about it. I don't care.

And if you say something about it, then we can. Have a nice conversation. I'm pulling up and be productive. But like, again, if you're gonna be gay, love yourself. I don't give a fuck. Like, and if your family can't love you for who you are, I'm sorry. Like, then they don't deserve to be in your life. Like you are the prize.

I have no problem coming family off too. Me either. I'm one of them people. Me either. I really don't cut it, cut it. I don't get rid of it. I don't, I'll cut it off. Mm-hmm. Like if you're not providing and watering my flour, my flour is like this big and I want you to get it this big. Mm-hmm. And if you shrinking it and making it die, we're not talking anymore.

Yeah. I can't do that. Like if you, if you caught me to be like, just be on how I feel all the time. Mm-hmm. It's just not, it's not worth it. Yeah. It's not worth the relationship. Even if it's your blood. It's just not. Yeah. Like at the end of the day, like you can make your [00:56:00] own family. Like I say it all the time and I'll continue to say it and I've done it like personally myself.

I've had to cut ties with family and I've had in return made families and had families come to me. Like people come to me and become my family. And like with that, when I did end up speaking to them again and we got back on terms and things are amazing again, like I still have a huge, huge support system that I would still call my family after that.

Mm-hmm. So I don't let you being, and that's like a whole topic in itself, being a gay woman and talking about like having family that doesn't love you, but you love them, so you don't wanna cut 'em off. So you hide who you truly are, but that's a whole different subject. But don't do that to yourself.

You're gonna be miserable. You're not living for anyone else but yourself.

Des: Mm-hmm. So

Elena: if you're out here worried about what your parents are gonna think and how they want you to live and who wants you to live a certain way. They're not fucking who you fucking. Mm-hmm. Like blatantly as it is, they're not fucking who you fucking and you're not gonna fuck someone you don't [00:57:00] wanna fuck just because your parents want you to fuck 'em.

Real,

Des: real shit. Point

Elena: blank period. That should be a meme. That should be, that should be a whole meme girl. That exact little, you ain't fucking who you wanna fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh my God. Oh my God. If I see a millennial last cat meme with that on it, on her Facebook later, I'm gonna be irritated. I'm be like, girl, I'm not gonna say I'm gonna be the one to make it, but I'm gonna be the making it.

I'm making it. She's making it. I'm making it. It's going on her Facebook. It sure is. Look, look, I don't know. I just, I can't, I don't like the idea of, um. My family like dis disregarded me for anything. Mm-hmm. Because sometimes me, I don't even tell my family about any of what I like. They don't get to know.

They don't get to know what I'm into boundaries, who I'm dating, none of that until it's serious. I do not tell my family if I'm dating nobody until I know like I'm dating them. Dating them. So they thought I've been single for the past three years. Like I really don't. [00:58:00] And most of the people I call my family aren't my family.

Yeah. Like a lot of the people that I call my family are not my family. I have people who have been there for me, who have supported me, that are not my blood. Yeah. Uh, they've supported me more than my own blood. The, I will say my blood that support my mom and my dad support me very much. I have good relationships with both of them.

Even if my mom and I cuss each other out all the time, I love her. Her. It's okay though. It's okay. We love you. Yes. Literally. And my dad, he's like. My bestie. Mm-hmm. Like my dad and my mom are my besties, love them. But my distant family, I do not speak to barely any of them. Like some of them I have like a acquaintance relationship with, but I do not talk to most of them.

And most of the people I see as my distant family are people who've just been there for me since I was like 15, 16. Even dad, like Dez Hadley, like her kids. Damn my bad. Des her girlfriend. We already said. Yeah. We already said my girl's name like 10 times on the podcast. The last time Des, she gave me to go ahead to eh.

Oh she did? Yeah. Why didn't you tell me that? I was there at till 10:00 PM last night. Never once did I hear [00:59:00] about this. Anyway, we had the conversation in front of her. She just did you? Yeah. You

Joe: were on the phone. What?

Elena: That was the end of that story. So again, guys, please send in more stories.

We made our Google Voice account, we posted it on our Instagram yesterday. If you're gonna send us a voice memo here, we, I need to put rules and regulations on this. Yeah, we were joking about how Don't flirt

Des: with me.

Elena: Yeah, don't flirt with her. Stop flirting with me. I don't care if you flirt with her, but she cares.

I mean, I don't, it's just like, girl, I find it funny. Just don't send stupid stuff. 'cause I'm a listening and I'm gonna laugh. But it is stupid Loki tongue. I do kind of like it though. Like if y'all not the flirting, the stupid stuff. Good God. I do wanna get married one day. Besides the fact that I'm blonde, apparently blonde people can't get married.

Um, according to this bitch, they do get married, blonde people get married. It's just

Des: after they dye their hair. Yeah,

Elena: bro. [01:00:00] And then, and then once they're married, they get tody it back blonde, and then it's like, oh, yeah, yeah. True. Watch me a blondie. Yeah. Period. That's true. So yeah. Anyway, we're ending it.

This is the end of the episode. Please send in stuff. Honestly, I don't even care what you send in, but I'm gonna see it and I'm gonna hear it, so you better watch yourselves. Okay. I don't want no freak nasty messages from you freak news, but until

Des: next time, we digress.