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DodoBorne is a comedy Daggerheart actual play podcast where four friends dive into the brand-new tabletop roleplaying game from Darrington Press. Join Kapi, Crank, and Pistachio as they navigate a rich world of mystery, magic, and malfeasance!
Humor, heart, and nonsense guaranteed. Some assembly required.
This is a new day.
Rowan Collins:It's a
Isaac Allen Burns:new dawn.
Annie Hawthorne:It's new dawn on your day.
Rowan Collins:A new
Isaac Allen Burns:And I'm feeling good. That's right. It's me, your GM, your muse fan, and your probably not editing this episode. Isaac Allen Burns here with a broken jukebox who keeps playing behind me while I'm talking and with three exciting Dodos. To my right, I have one Rowan Collins.
Rowan Collins:That's me, the broken jukebox. I'm sorry.
Isaac Allen Burns:Playing Pistachio. And sitting directly behind Rowan, we have one Joe Diomede playing Cappy.
Joe Diametti:Did you know that if Isaac says he did edit the episode, he probably didn't? And if he says he didn't, he probably did.
Rowan Collins:I did not.
Isaac Allen Burns:We both stand at the door, and one of us tells only truths and the other tells only lies. And you can only ask us one question to see which door it is to go any author.
Annie Hawthorne:Here's my one question. Who edited the episode?
Joe Diametti:Oh, a good question. This is too far ahead for me.
Isaac Allen Burns:I edited the
Joe Diametti:Well, I edited the episode.
Isaac Allen Burns:Which door do you choose, Amy?
Annie Hawthorne:One tells lies and one tells truth. That's right. No. I I I think Joe is telling me the truth.
Joe Diametti:Hey, yo.
Isaac Allen Burns:You know, GM's a
Joe Diametti:Thanks, Annie.
Isaac Allen Burns:If you want a fun fact, this is this is a puzzle. This is a riddle I can't really do on the podcast because it won't make a lot of sense. Actually, I could do it on the podcast. So never mind. I'm gonna hold it to myself.
Isaac Allen Burns:Cut this, Joe or me. Hi, Isaac. Hope you're having a good day. Anyways, this is some solid energy stepping into this podcast. So why don't we get right into it?
Isaac Allen Burns:Hit it with the music. Hit it with the short one this time, Joe. Alright. Thank you, Joe. Thanks for saving us a little bit of time playing the shorter version.
Isaac Allen Burns:That's right. We have a shorter version in case you didn't know. So last we left our dodos and our heroes. They decided to take the young bone master back to where his home was, which was apparently in the manor district. On the way there, they discovered the identity of this young man who was masquerading as the bone master.
Isaac Allen Burns:He was in fact Antony Zechthon, the nephew of the late Viscount. This news shook Cappy, but it didn't shake him as much as seeing the Apple People's cart just outside the Zeshtan Manor. That's right. They're over for brunch, and it is brunch time. So gang, you are on the path to the Zeshtan Manor.
Isaac Allen Burns:It is a well manicured estate with perfectly angled bushes, a two story possibly even more period drama esque manor that you see just beyond the way. And sure enough out in front, with a couple of coachmen and horses are a few carts that are just outside of it. Clearly guests of the Zechthons. As you approach, it is clear to the three of you that Anthony, who has at this point kind of been a little petulant and a little clingy riding on the back of a choco dodo, seems to almost get fidgety. Hey, guys.
Isaac Allen Burns:We
Annie Hawthorne:should Happy.
Joe Diametti:We So you can kid, you can probably walk from here. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns:What? Yeah. I don't I mean Yeah. Up.
Joe Diametti:Then Adam and I I lift him up Hey. Off the
Isaac Allen Burns:Don't touch me. Hey, Pervs. What are you doing?
Joe Diametti:Right. Put him down. Yeah. No one's touching It's 50 yards. You got this.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. But, like, I mean, I could go myself. Yeah. I could. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:But, like, you know, if you wanna come with me, that would be fine, I guess.
Joe Diametti:Why would I why would I come with you?
Annie Hawthorne:You know, it might not hurt, Cappy, to make some more friends in this city.
Joe Diametti:Guys, I don't think we're gonna make friends.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. You should come. Yeah. You should come take me to the door.
Rowan Collins:So Pistachio has no reason to not do this. And so it's like, okay. Sure. So, yeah, we could take you to the door. What is your father or mother or parents or guardian's name that we should tell?
Rowan Collins:How should we greet them? Because I know this is a fancy hotel.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's not a hotel. It's my house. You probably won't see my dad. You'll probably see my butler.
Rowan Collins:Your butler? Yeah. Is there a way to address the butler?
Isaac Allen Burns:I always just call him shitbag.
Isaac Allen Burns:That's what I call him.
Rowan Collins:I don't think that is how I'm going to address anybody. Does he have a name?
Isaac Allen Burns:You know, my dad always calls him Jennings.
Rowan Collins:Jennings.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Butler Jennings. And you're really tall. He points at you, Crank. He's like, you're really tall, you just stand in front of me.
Isaac Allen Burns:I'll stand behind you.
Annie Hawthorne:Okay. Is this like a peekaboo kind of thing? Like, do I
Isaac Allen Burns:do I knock on
Annie Hawthorne:the door and then you run?
Joe Diametti:Actually, that's a good idea. Crank. Bring the knock on the door. I'm gonna stand behind Crank.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Yeah. So she
Annie Hawthorne:I'll knock on the door.
Rowan Collins:I'll walk up next to them just to
Isaac Allen Burns:a butler, an aged elf. His ears droop with age, and his nose is up at everything as though in a constant state of disapproval. He is well suited, tailored to the nines with big white gloves that have never seen a speck of dust in their life. And as he sort of stands there and looks at the two of you, he says,
IsaacAllen Burns:Ahem! Oh, to what reason are you knocking on the door right now?
Isaac Allen Burns:Do you have
IsaacAllen Burns:a appointment?
Rowan Collins:Oh, hi, mister Jennings Butler guy. We have found something that I believe belongs in Two's Manor. Crank, if you could step aside, please.
Annie Hawthorne:I just say, hi. I'm Crank. We brought this for you, and I'll just step aside in, like, Vanna White, the boy.
Isaac Allen Burns:You see that
Joe Diametti:you see that Anthony and Cavier are, like, midscarf. And will you
Isaac Allen Burns:just stop? You just stop, and you see the butler looks, and his eyes go wide, and he yells,
IsaacAllen Burns:young master Anthony, by the time, do you know how upset we were at your new disappearance? Do you have any idea how concerned we were? Do you even think about how your rebellious actions detracts from the family name?
Joe Diametti:I stand up straight. Yeah. Antony, we tried to tell you that this was going to happen. That's right.
IsaacAllen Burns:Listen to the blue man. What if a Lovenhurst goon found you?
Joe Diametti:What if a
IsaacAllen Burns:bear ate you?
Rowan Collins:Oh, he
IsaacAllen Burns:What if a Lovenhurst bear found you and ate you? Don't you know the specter has been rumored to be around, and yet you are still going out and doing nerd well activities by the nine?
Rowan Collins:Oh, Pistachio looks back at this kid and, like, feels slightly bad for him and goes, actually, we are part of the adventurer's guild. And we did find him originally, but then we offered to let him shadow us. And then we were gonna keep him safe and bring him back here as like a junior adventurer. Yeah. Right.
Rowan Collins:As a junior adventurer kinda thing. So he's fine. He wasn't good at we were watching him the whole time.
Isaac Allen Burns:Awesome. Yeah. So you're lying to the butler, so go ahead
Rowan Collins:and I speak to think
Annie Hawthorne:Crank has an instant of a moment where he's like, oh, I should tell him what really happened. Like, he's about to open his mouth to say, oh, he actually stole a magical artifact and raised an army of dead. And then Pistachio is just like
Joe Diametti:Well, that's what happens if we fail this role. Yep.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. And by the way, Pistachio, this is a disadvantage.
Rowan Collins:Great.
Isaac Allen Burns:What'd you roll, Pistachio?
Rowan Collins:A 12 with fear.
Isaac Allen Burns:A 12 will pass. And with that fear, I know exactly what happens. So you see the butler looks at Anthony and says,
IsaacAllen Burns:is this true, young master Anthony? You are attempting to be a blue collar worker.
Isaac Allen Burns:And you see Anthony
Isaac Allen Burns:is just kinda like he's like kicking a rock, and his, like, shoulders are slow. He says, yeah. Maybe. Whatever. What of it?
Isaac Allen Burns:What are you gonna do about a chip bag? And you see that the butler, who looks very disapprovingly, says, well, I would imagine your father would be quite cross to hear of this
IsaacAllen Burns:little display that you've done. Have you even spoken to
Isaac Allen Burns:him or even your brother? And at that, I'm gonna use my fear as you see the doors behind him open. The foyer that is behind the butler, it's quite large, quite ostentatious, one could say. A lot more gold and red than you would expect from someone from an old money name to the point that you think that this guy is just a real patriot for Voldain. You know what I mean?
Isaac Allen Burns:Voldain colors everywhere. Mhmm. But the door's open, and you see that walking into the room is a dwarven man. You can see a touch of resemblance between Antony and this man. This dwarven man, he's a young man.
Isaac Allen Burns:And I want you to imagine, like, Keely from the hobbit who's the hot dwarf that pulled the elf. You know what I mean? Yeah. Where it's like, he's really tall for a dwarf, and he's just got very fine features. This hot piece of ass walks into the room well well groomed, well coiffed.
Isaac Allen Burns:He's got just the right amount of, like, hair where it's not long and flowing, but it's also not short. You know what I mean? And he walks in, a look of relief on his face as he says, Anthony, dear brother, I'm so glad that you've returned here. And as he strides up, you see that he says, I just had to stand up from brunch because I heard the noise of my brother. Are you three the ones who brought him to us?
Rowan Collins:Yes. Absolutely, we are. Hi. I'm Pistachio. Pistachio, like, awkwardly puts out their hand as if to be like, is this something that is approved in the higher court for a peer, like a lower person to give a handshake, but is gonna do it anyway?
Isaac Allen Burns:That's so great. As you do that, the butler in a flash takes off one of his gloves and smacks your hand with it
IsaacAllen Burns:and says, hey, spy the night. Have you no decorum? Don't You shall not do it all. You must walk in and be introduced properly to the family before you begin speaking to them as if you know
Joe Diametti:who they are.
Rowan Collins:Okay.
IsaacAllen Burns:Well It is quite improper for you to even be speaking to young lord master Anthony.
Isaac Allen Burns:This new dwarf that just entered in just kinda pushes the butler to the side and says, Jennings, we're in the country. I think we can hold off on some of the more stricter customs. See that he turns Silkachu Pistachio and holds out his hands and says, it is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Benedict Zethon.
Rowan Collins:Benedict. Okay. Nice to meet you too. And I'll shake his hand.
Isaac Allen Burns:He looks over at Crank and holds out his hand as well and introduces himself.
Annie Hawthorne:Hello. My name is Crank. Benedict is a food. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, his eyes turn to you, Cappy, and he gets a look that you've seen from, like, a couple people before. And you see that his posture kinda changes, and he reaches out a hand and says, hey there. I am Benedict. Really nice to meet you. What's your name?
Joe Diametti:Hi, Benedict. And Cappy shakes his hand.
Isaac Allen Burns:He shakes your hands, and he puts another hand, like, on top of your hand and gives it, like, a firm shake.
Joe Diametti:Cappy puts his hand on top of the other hand and does the, like, you know, forehand shake.
Isaac Allen Burns:Nice. Nice. You he's making, like, severe eye contact with you.
Rowan Collins:Pistachio's looking back forth, like, what is going on here?
Isaac Allen Burns:Please. You must you three must come in. You brought my brother to me, and I can't thank you enough. And he looks down and says, Anthony, we really need to talk. And before he can finish, you see Anthony goes up and kicks him one good time in the shins and say, shut up, Benedict.
IsaacAllen Burns:I didn't ask you.
Isaac Allen Burns:And then he runs up the stairs. And I'll even say you hear a little arf. His little puppy runs out and follows Anthony upstairs.
Joe Diametti:The dog likes him?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. The dog likes Anthony. I'm gonna say I'm gonna say there's a
Joe Diametti:puppy that really likes Anthony and
Isaac Allen Burns:runs up with him as Anthony, like, runs up the stairs to his room and you hear a slam.
Joe Diametti:I look at the gang. I am really hungry.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, maybe they have apple fritters.
Joe Diametti:Do you
Annie Hawthorne:have apple fritters?
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm sure the kitchens could make some apple fritters for you. It is brunch right now.
Annie Hawthorne:So Cappy really likes apple fritters.
Rowan Collins:Fritters? Cappy does.
Annie Hawthorne:They're the key to his heart.
Rowan Collins:They are the key to his heart.
Isaac Allen Burns:Of course, I did have to excuse myself from brunch, so I will have to go back, But I will make sure that the kitchen simply follow Butler Jennings into the kitchens. Go past the standing room. There might be some people sitting in the standing room. Don't sit in the standing room.
Rowan Collins:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:And next to that, you'll find the sitting room.
Rowan Collins:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Whatever you do, don't stand in the sitting room, Let's go past that.
Annie Hawthorne:How do we get through the sitting room without standing?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, just don't stand still. You can walk. Oh. Walking is okay. Laying down and lounging is also okay, but just standing in the sitting room would not be okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay.
Rowan Collins:So we don't have to, like, RB crawl through it or anything?
Isaac Allen Burns:No. Yeah. Don't even get me started on crawl space.
Rowan Collins:Oh. Oh. Oh, gosh. There's a crawl space?
Isaac Allen Burns:That's right.
Rowan Collins:Oh gosh.
Annie Hawthorne:We have everything in this house. Wow.
Isaac Allen Burns:Some say we do. Don't go venturing through the house. Simply go to the kitchen just to just to be completely transparent. My father does know nothing about Anthony's disappearance or anything. I was the one who put in the quest into the adventuring guild to find him.
Isaac Allen Burns:So truly fantastic work that you got here so quickly. I mean, we put it in, like, very early this morning.
Rowan Collins:Oh. Well, yeah, that's what we're here for. We're really good adventurers.
Joe Diametti:We did it. Yeah.
IsaacAllen Burns:We did.
Isaac Allen Burns:Ain't that right? New adventurers. Okay. Yeah. Great.
Isaac Allen Burns:Wonderful. Now, look, go to the kitchen. Uh-huh. They'll feed you. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:I have to go back and make an appearance. We have guests over right now.
Joe Diametti:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Some landed gentry that recently came from Bracken Road. I'm sure that you heard of it. It's quite it's quite terrible stuff.
Rowan Collins:The gentry from Bracken Road.
Annie Hawthorne:Okay. To the We're from Bracken Road.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. We're from Bracken Road.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, the boys. Know them. Know the Apple people.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, the Apple people are here? Is Scarlet here?
Rowan Collins:Scarlet's here.
Annie Hawthorne:Scarlet's Scarlet's here.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yes. Oh, you know Scarlet.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. She used to tutor me.
Joe Diametti:Chappy has his hand over his eyes and face.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, well, that's quite wonderful. Scarlet is quite a darling.
Rowan Collins:She is so cute.
Isaac Allen Burns:We were going to do a stroll around the fields. Oh. A stroll around the yard if you would all like to join us.
Annie Hawthorne:That sounds great.
Joe Diametti:Beautiful. I don't well, I I think it's probably just comes down to timing.
Isaac Allen Burns:We
Annie Hawthorne:I I think Cappy needs an apple fritter,
Isaac Allen Burns:and then he'd definitely be on the Yeah.
Rowan Collins:Cappy's a little hangry right now.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, well. Yeah. He smiles at you, Cappy, and says, I'm sure we can figure out something to do about that. And then he, like, reaches over and, like, gives your shoulder a squeeze.
Joe Diametti:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:And then he Capsule look.
Joe Diametti:Drops his shoulder. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:And then he walks inside and then, like, kind of does a hand signal to the butler. And as he strides into those doors, you see the butler who disapproves of you, walks up and says, follow
IsaacAllen Burns:me. Why don't you Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Unbecoming a blower. Right. Just speak
IsaacAllen Burns:to me this way.
Joe Diametti:I'm a butler, and I have to
IsaacAllen Burns:take three lowly peasants into the kitchen.
Joe Diametti:You see, he shuffles is saying this out loud because he knows the butler has to listen to Benedict.
Isaac Allen Burns:The butler, who's incredibly upset, shuffles through a few rooms. You walk through these rooms, the sitting room, the standing room, the smoking room.
Rowan Collins:Do we smoke in the smoking room?
Isaac Allen Burns:You do have to smoke
Rowan Collins:in the smoking room.
IsaacAllen Burns:Just put
Isaac Allen Burns:the piss of god down
IsaacAllen Burns:and follow me. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Like, shuffles into the kitchens. And inside, you see this enormous kitchen. Wow. It's so big.
Isaac Allen Burns:I want you right now to imagine the kitchen of, like, that rich friend that you had in elementary school who invited you over one time and just went out
Isaac Allen Burns:to school for
Isaac Allen Burns:a birthday party. That's what this looks like. As you step in there, multiple cooks running to and fro, furiously cooking things. You see trays being sent out and in and out and in because as you know, the nobles eat good. And as you step inside, you see that the butler says stay here and don't go anywhere.
Isaac Allen Burns:And he shuffles over. You see one of the cooks walks up. She's a young woman of
Rowan Collins:Qatari. Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burns:A young Qatari girl walks up and says, hi. This butler asked me to give you some food, and so here is a plate of apple fritters and some bagels. If there's anything else you want, please ask me.
Rowan Collins:Oh, yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:Thank you. What's your name?
Isaac Allen Burns:My name is Melly.
Annie Hawthorne:Hi, Melly. I'm Crank. It's nice to meet you.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's so nice to meet you too. I so rarely see anyone Hi, Melly. Come through here. Hi. What is your name?
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm Cappy. And she looks over at Pistachio.
Rowan Collins:Hi, Pistachio. It's nice to meet you.
Isaac Allen Burns:Hi. Oh, it's so nice
Joe Diametti:to meet all three of you. Melly, what time do you get off? I'm sorry? Like, what time do get done here?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, well, it's brunch right now. So I have to help cook for the next hour, and then I have to clean all the dishes. And then once the dishes are all clean, then I have to help make supper. And then I have to clean all the supper dishes.
Rowan Collins:Wow.
Isaac Allen Burns:And then once the supper dishes are finished, then I have to make dessert.
Joe Diametti:So, like
Isaac Allen Burns:And then
Joe Diametti:I have to seven?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, no. I'll be working until very late. And then I have to go and clean all the rooms. And once I'm done dusting everything
Joe Diametti:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Then I can go to sleep for two hours.
Joe Diametti:Thank you, Melly.
Isaac Allen Burns:And then I get to wake up and start making breakfast.
Joe Diametti:Okay, Melly. This has been great.
Isaac Allen Burns:They don't pay me very much either, but it's the only life I've ever known.
Rowan Collins:Wow, Melly. Have you been working here your whole life?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, ever since my ever since my evil stepmother came in with her two mean stepsisters who also work in the kitchen and hit me all the
Isaac Allen Burns:time. What, Melly?
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Do you need help?
Annie Hawthorne:Well, no. Are you being trafficked?
Rowan Collins:Are you being trafficked? Blitzy three times.
Isaac Allen Burns:You're trafficked. Means oh, like, when it's a really busy street? Well No. You know, the cooks around here move really fast. So sometimes the the traffic gets real bad, especially when people are carrying sharp things.
Isaac Allen Burns:They're supposed to say sharp, but sometimes they don't.
Rowan Collins:Maffy. Oh my god.
Isaac Allen Burns:Can I get you some fruit?
Rowan Collins:Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Okay. She, like, skips away.
Rowan Collins:So what do we think about Benedict?
Annie Hawthorne:Benedict seemed very nice to me.
Rowan Collins:I mean, he seems nice, but I don't know. I I trust the dog.
Annie Hawthorne:He was really nice to Cappy.
Rowan Collins:He was really nice to Cappy. Suspiciously nice? Suspiciously nice.
Joe Diametti:What? People can be nice to me. I'm a nice furball.
Rowan Collins:Yeah.
Joe Diametti:People should be nice to me. I'm I get along with almost everybody.
Rowan Collins:Well, you didn't get along with Stefaniel.
Joe Diametti:Fuck Stefaniel.
Rowan Collins:And you didn't get along with was there anyone else he didn't get
Annie Hawthorne:along with? Get along with Sebastian.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. He didn't get along with Sebastian.
Joe Diametti:Sebastian tried to murder us.
Rowan Collins:I mean, that's true. And then who else did he not get along with? He was very suspicious of your mom.
Annie Hawthorne:He was very suspicious of my mom for absolutely no reason.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. But she
Joe Diametti:was in love with me.
Annie Hawthorne:No. She wasn't. She She's suspicious. Suspicious behavior just like Benedict.
Rowan Collins:Just like Benedict.
Isaac Allen Burns:Did someone say Benedict? Yeah. Melly says that she comes back with another plate of fruit.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh. Oh. Is he as nice as he seems?
Isaac Allen Burns:Isn't he dreamy?
Annie Hawthorne:He is dreamy. Had one dream. It was not that.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, no. Dreams are so important because this is a world of magic.
Rowan Collins:He is conventionally attractive, I think.
Annie Hawthorne:Isn't he?
Isaac Allen Burns:He is. One time, I dropped something, and before it could shatter on the ground, he leapt for it. He went fully horizontal and was able to catch it before it shattered because if it had broken, my step my evil stepmother would have thrown me into the ashes and made me pick up all the rice that was in all the ashes.
Rowan Collins:Kelly, I every thing you say makes me sad.
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, I'm sorry. I won't say anything else then because I don't wanna make you sad.
Rowan Collins:No. It's okay. It's not you. It's just I want you to be treated better. How does Anthony treat you?
Isaac Allen Burns:Oh, Anthony's so quiet. He never comes out of his room, well, ever since his mom died, which has been his whole life.
Rowan Collins:When oh, his whole life?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Because his mom his mom this is a secret. I'm not supposed to say it, but we we people who do serving stuff and period dramas love gossip, so I'll tell
Isaac Allen Burns:you everything about
Isaac Allen Burns:it. I'll tell you literally everything. Okay. You see, because when he was born, his mom died at childbirth. And so ever since, his father, I think, has resented him for it and treated him really bad.
Isaac Allen Burns:But Benedict has always been kinda nice to him, and that's really nice. I don't know what it's like to have a good sibling relationships. After all, I have no siblings of my own other than my two mean stepsisters. They spill hot coffee on me, and then I have to go change because I have stains on it.
Rowan Collins:Melly, I would like you to not work here anymore.
Joe Diametti:Can I take a big swing?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah.
Joe Diametti:This is all happening, and at some point, you turn around, and I'm just not there anymore. Oh. Where?
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, crap. You think you want to find Scarlet?
Isaac Allen Burns:We cut away too. Cabby. Cabby, what are you doing right now? I'm gonna say real at the start, though. The kitchens are crazy, and the butler simply hates looking at all of
Isaac Allen Burns:you. Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burns:And so you can easily sneak away
Joe Diametti:during this conversation. I wanna find something to steal. Oh.
Rowan Collins:Oh gosh.
Joe Diametti:So here's A chest? Something locked? A door? Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:So this is a mansion.
Joe Diametti:It is.
Isaac Allen Burns:Sort of casing the joint. What role do you think this would be for trying to figure out what to do? Would this sort of be agility sneaking around? Would it be knowledge or instinct knowing where to look? What would you think?
Joe Diametti:I think given Cappy's formative years, it would be knowledge.
Isaac Allen Burns:Do it up.
Joe Diametti:12 with hope.
Isaac Allen Burns:12 with hope. Okay. You saw the Ground Floor as you were coming in. Nothing too interesting going on there. There's no everything on the Ground Floor is mostly for show and for hosting.
Isaac Allen Burns:The upstairs, though, is where you can find the goods in many of the different rooms, offices or bedrooms or such. So here's a question. As you get to the Top Floor, Cathy Mhmm. You look to the left, you see the double doors that suggests an office. As you look down the hall, you see a single door that suggests the master bedroom.
Isaac Allen Burns:You have a feeling that you'll only be able to get to one of those before people notice that you're missing.
Joe Diametti:What's behind door number three? I'm just kidding. I I'm gonna go for the single door.
Isaac Allen Burns:K. You go up to the master bedroom. It is locked. As you try it, what happened? What do you do?
Isaac Allen Burns:Do try to get through it?
Joe Diametti:Well, I have a domain card, pick and pull. Oh. So I have advantage on action rolls to pick non magical locks, disarm non magical traps, or steal items from a target either through stealth or by force.
Isaac Allen Burns:I would definitely say this applies. This is not a magic lock. Alright. Do it up. Here we go.
Joe Diametti:Crit.
Isaac Allen Burns:Let's go.
Joe Diametti:Crit on fives, and then I had a three for my advantage.
Isaac Allen Burns:Awesome. Those mat those numbers matter not. However, what does matter is how easily and willingly this lock falls to your touch as you step into the master bedroom, locking it behind you as though nothing ever happened.
Joe Diametti:Like riding a bike.
Isaac Allen Burns:Just like riding a bike. And as you step inside, you see a very well adorned room. The things that stick out to you is, for starters, there's a desk on the side. This isn't an office desk, so this would not be any kind of business. But you do see some papers on top of it, so there is some kind of perhaps correspondence there.
Isaac Allen Burns:You see that there is a chest at the foot of the bed. You see that the bed itself is one of those big, like, curtain y beds along the sides. Only one pillow. Additionally, you see that there is a balcony that you can get to at the end. There's, like, a way to get outside that has these small wooden doors that swing open very easily.
Isaac Allen Burns:What do you do? What do you approach?
Joe Diametti:I think Cappy's he looks at the desk with the papers, and he's like, boring.
Rowan Collins:Because homie doesn't read.
Joe Diametti:And then he sees the chest, and he's like, there it is.
Isaac Allen Burns:Nice. You go up to the chest, and sure enough, this thing is definitely locked as you can tell.
Joe Diametti:I'm using my pick and pull.
Isaac Allen Burns:Use the pick and pull, man.
Joe Diametti:Let's
Isaac Allen Burns:go. This is one you don't wanna fail.
Annie Hawthorne:Uh-oh. Oh, no.
Joe Diametti:That's I didn't. I did well, wait. No. I'm good. 22 with hope.
Joe Diametti:Dang.
Rowan Collins:Nice. Get that hope.
Isaac Allen Burns:Alright. Here's what I'm gonna do. Good reminder. Thank you. Here's what I'm gonna do.
Isaac Allen Burns:You open the chest, and you see that it was trapped. There's a small little mechanism just inside, a small string that would have simply sent out a poisonous gas into the room that you feel like would have incapacitated you.
Joe Diametti:Oh, hello.
Isaac Allen Burns:But you're able to kinda disarm it and make it so it doesn't go off. And as you look inside, let's talk about loot. Hello. It's me, your GM, Isaac Allen Burns. Nice to meet you.
Isaac Allen Burns:This is crazy, isn't it, gang? Have you ever seen this before? So for loot, something that you can do is you can refer to a rolling guide, a table in here, if it were, to see what kind of loot someone would get in different circumstances if you haven't prepared ahead of time some kind of loot for them. Or if you just wanna fill a kind of chest full of something else important with other stuff to make them feel good. In this case, because we are once again in tier two dagger heart, I'm gonna say that this is going to be uncommon items.
Isaac Allen Burns:So if you could, go ahead and first roll two d 12 for me, and then roll three d 12 and tell me what those numbers are.
Joe Diametti:Okay. The first one is 21 with hope, if it matters.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. Will matter this time.
Joe Diametti:Alright. And then for the three, nineteen. So
Isaac Allen Burns:as you open up this chest, it becomes clear to you that this thing holds, like, personal effects of war. Right? Oh. You see inside is a Voldain army uniform, an old one from before the civil war that occurred ten years ago. It's sort of an older something that you might see sort of put up and hung somewhere to be seen.
Isaac Allen Burns:This one seems more personal. It has been marred. It's been damaged. Clearly, he's holding on to this as more of a memento. Inside, you find a minor health potion recipe, little notes written down for him to remember how to craft them, which means as a downtime move, you can use a vial of blood to craft a minor health potion.
Isaac Allen Burns:Just get yourself a little bit of your own blood. You can make a health potion from that. Additionally, you see a little bottle in there, and inside the bottle is a little guy, a little sprite. He he's blue. He's got big eyes.
Isaac Allen Burns:He's kinda knocking on the glass. Knock, knock, knock, knock. Additionally, inside, you find what looks like a nice golden dagger encrusted with jewels and rubies. It is nice. It is ceremonial.
Isaac Allen Burns:It is not sharp at all whatsoever. But boy, oh, boy, if you foisted this on some kind of black market, you could get hella money for it. And someone roll a d 10. Someone. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:Someone you know what? Yeah. Not you. You've rolled a lot. Someone else now.
Rowan Collins:Me. Six.
Isaac Allen Burns:You find six handfuls of gold in there.
Joe Diametti:Hey, yo.
Isaac Allen Burns:The equivalent of six handfuls of gold.
Joe Diametti:Yep. I start stuffing my jacket. I take the dagger. I'm like second, man. I'm doing something here.
Joe Diametti:And I yeah. So I I pat it. I take that the dagger, and I put it on the inside pocket of my jacket.
Isaac Allen Burns:Mhmm.
Joe Diametti:I feel in I find that envelope again, and I shove it back in. Okay. And then I pick up the little vial.
Isaac Allen Burns:Hey. Don't shake me around so much.
Joe Diametti:What are you doing in there?
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm a little spray. I'm a corrector spray. You're a what? I'm a corrector spray.
Joe Diametti:Can you spell that? Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:I no. I can't spell. I can't read.
Joe Diametti:Okay. Why are you in this?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, you see, I'm I'm what I'm supposed to do is I'm supposed to be in your ear canal, whisper helpful advice to you during combat. Because once per short rest, you can gain advantage on an attack roll if I'm in your ear. Just speaking sweet nothings to it. Don't worry. I'm mostly quiet.
Joe Diametti:So Kathy, what's your name?
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, normally, person who hear us say it in gives me a name.
Joe Diametti:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:I forget my name once I go into not an ear. I'm a brand new person each time. The only existence I've known is in this bottle. I'd really like to get out. Please let me out.
Isaac Allen Burns:Put me in your ear, sir.
Joe Diametti:So you can help me fight.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah.
Joe Diametti:And Cappy thinks about the battle with Ashe and thinks about how he reacted in the battle at the cemetery, and he's like, bet. And just opens opens it up.
Isaac Allen Burns:Uncork it and like Tinkerbell in Peter Pan, this little Sprite shoots all around the room and then shunts into your ear. You hear kinda echo what you hear. Oh, hey. It's nice in here. Wow.
Isaac Allen Burns:You clean you keep yours nice and clean. Yeah. That's good. Savage. Yeah.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, don't clean enough so I can use some of this wax to make some furniture in here. Oh,
IsaacAllen Burns:k.
Isaac Allen Burns:That way I can be chill. I can help you out. Don't worry. I'm not gonna talk to you very much because that'd be really annoying if I just kept talking to
Joe Diametti:you. Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burns:Maybe I'll just pop in every so often with a funny joke.
Joe Diametti:Okay. And I get to name you?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. You can give your name.
Joe Diametti:What do I name them?
Annie Hawthorne:That's on you, man.
Isaac Allen Burns:That's a question for only the gods, answer.
Joe Diametti:I have a name, but it's so stupid.
Rowan Collins:That's so great.
Isaac Allen Burns:What do
Joe Diametti:you have to? It's Blarmy.
Rowan Collins:Blarmy. That's fantastic.
IsaacAllen Burns:Oh, Blarmy.
Joe Diametti:That's what popped into my head when
Isaac Allen Burns:Deep deep magic courses into the threads of the universe, and this thing's name is now Blarmy.
Joe Diametti:Alright, Blarmy. Alright, boss. You're gonna help me out.
Isaac Allen Burns:I sure am. Was virtual rest. I get real tired after I help you. Okay. I use a lot of, you know, you you know, I use a lot of magical energy to be able to make you better at fighting one time every few hours or so.
Joe Diametti:Okay. I can work with this.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. You can. Anyways, alright. I'm be here now. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Bye.
Joe Diametti:K. Bye.
Isaac Allen Burns:Cut to. Also, the whole time
Joe Diametti:I was holding the duck. The whole time I was holding Quackers. And I look at each other, and we both, like, nod. Like, we just pulled this off, and then, yeah, we cut
Isaac Allen Burns:away. Quack.
Isaac Allen Burns:See. Back to the kitchens.
Rowan Collins:So he probably went to go and see Scarlet. So we gotta go interrupt, I think, because well
Isaac Allen Burns:I'm sorry. You're gonna go interrupt the brunch happening right now?
Rowan Collins:Well, I
Isaac Allen Burns:Gabby probably
Rowan Collins:want did to see Scarlet because him and Scarlet, you like gossip. Right?
Isaac Allen Burns:Of course, I do. Yes. Tell me everything.
Rowan Collins:So him and Scarlet were like a thing. And he loves her, but they are on a will they won't they Really? Thing.
Isaac Allen Burns:But she's so pretty.
Joe Diametti:She What?
Rowan Collins:She is so pretty. Yes. She is very attractive. Yes. Yes.
Isaac Allen Burns:Is this true? She looks at you, Greg. Is this a true thing?
Annie Hawthorne:Her face is very symmetrical. Yes. Do you have any idea where Scarlet might be?
Rowan Collins:We won't go in or interrupt, but we figure that he's probably going to go after her probably. So we're gonna catch him and make sure he doesn't interrupt anything.
Isaac Allen Burns:Well, Scarlet is currently in the dining room
Rowan Collins:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Dining Okay. Because that's what you do in the dining room.
Rowan Collins:Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:We're in kitchens where food is made.
Isaac Allen Burns:It's kitchen food.
Annie Hawthorne:Okay. Does the kitchen connect to the dining room?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. It is. And she looks
Annie Hawthorne:Is there, like, a little window? Yeah.
Rowan Collins:To see if he's in there. Is is there a little window?
Isaac Allen Burns:There is a little window that you can look through if you would like, but I will warn you, some of the cooks are going in and out of the door, and they might run into you. So just be very careful.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh. Well, if they run into me, they'll hurt themselves. I'm gonna go stand by the window. Sad. I'm just gonna, like, look through the window.
Annie Hawthorne:Keeping out the window. See if I can see either Cappy or Scarlet.
Isaac Allen Burns:You look in through the window, and you see a long dining table with only four people seated at it. You see Benedict sitting. You see rich apple people at one side. You know him. You love him.
Isaac Allen Burns:You've seen him before.
Rowan Collins:We know him.
Isaac Allen Burns:You see Zeshon at the other end of the table. He's an older looking dwarf, very finely manicured beard and nails, looks every bit the pompous ass that you would expect the brother of the late Viscount to be. Seated next to Benedict, however, is Scarlet. And Annie, can you describe Scarlet right now? The only word that I'll give you to start with is gorgeous.
Annie Hawthorne:I think her father probably made her dress up for this.
Isaac Allen Burns:Most definitely.
Annie Hawthorne:And, like, just, like, looks like she's going to a ball, but, like, it's brunch.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yes.
Annie Hawthorne:And, like, I just wanna try to catch her eye, and, like, wave at her through the window.
Isaac Allen Burns:Nice. Yeah. You see that she's
Annie Hawthorne:anyone else now.
Isaac Allen Burns:She is in full, like, period times regalia, like a long kinda hoopy dress. The goods pushed up, but not pushed out. You know what I mean? She her hair is done like you have never seen her hair like this before. Most of the time, it's pulled back into a very practical look, but now her hair is down, and she rocks it.
Isaac Allen Burns:And she's sitting there having polite conversation. You see that a laugh that comes out of her is one that you've seen before when people try and crack jokes at the bakery that aren't funny. But she sits there, and you're trying to get her attention. Let's say, here's what I'm gonna have you do. Let's have an agility role here for a very specific reason.
Isaac Allen Burns:If you succeed or fail, something different will happen that involves agility.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay.
Joe Diametti:You didn't crit. No.
Rowan Collins:Oh my god. Again? Two fours.
Joe Diametti:Ayo. Ayo.
Rowan Collins:Isaac is a
Isaac Allen Burns:Isaac You
Isaac Allen Burns:know, 8.3% is supposed to be a very small number. And yet here I sit once again, so many crits. What is to be done? My world. Anyways so, Crank, you definitely step out of the way of a cook that pushes the door open.
Isaac Allen Burns:And as it's pushed open, you are sort of held in full profile in the open doorway. Kinda like, you know, those doors in the kitchen that go either way and swing back and forth? It's one of those things where as it swings open, you can just see everything in there. And the only thing anyone looking at the kitchen would see is you. On that success, you did not get run into.
Isaac Allen Burns:So there is no big kerfuffle that happens, which is why I was hoping for fear. And you do get her attention because you succeed. And because you succeeded so well, no one else has your attention. Scarlet sees you. Her eyes go wide and then narrow.
Annie Hawthorne:I'm just leaving.
Rowan Collins:Hi, Scarlet. Hi.
Isaac Allen Burns:As you're looking in, you see that she kinda dabs her lips with a napkin. And, you know, she's some some kind of conversation occurs, and you see the four of them stand up. And you see that Benedict kinda goes over offers his arm to Scarlet, and she takes it. They head out towards the foyer while you see the two patriarchs of the family head over to the standing room. You see that happen, and Scarlet does not look back at you as she leaves to the foyer.
Isaac Allen Burns:But eventually, as the kitchen staff brushes by you in a flurry of cleaning as the dishes are taken away as though they were never there, The two of you are in the kitchen.
Rowan Collins:Oh, oh,
Annie Hawthorne:maybe I think Scarlet saw me waving to her, but I don't
Rowan Collins:Oh.
IsaacAllen Burns:Oh. I
Annie Hawthorne:think I don't I don't know. I feel like she might be mad at me or something.
Rowan Collins:Mad at you?
Annie Hawthorne:Yeah. She was like, hey, Scarlet. And she just kinda, like, looked at me and then, like, looked away and then left with Benedict.
Rowan Collins:Oh, I feel like maybe she doesn't want her dad to see us or something, but they went that way.
Annie Hawthorne:Well, yeah, they went that way. And they should we go try to Yeah.
Rowan Collins:Talk to Scarlet?
Isaac Allen Burns:I guess
Rowan Collins:yeah. Let's let's go after them and see if that's good. And maybe Cappy's in the foyer, and we'll meet up with him.
Annie Hawthorne:Oh, yeah. Maybe. Okay.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Oh, that that's it. She's she's probably just like she got something in her eye or something. She doesn't hit this like us at all. It's it's just a misunderstanding.
Rowan Collins:It's totally
Annie Hawthorne:fine. Okay. Alright. You're probably right.
Rowan Collins:Yeah. Yeah.
Annie Hawthorne:You should let's let's go.
Rowan Collins:Who could hate us?
Annie Hawthorne:Right. I mean, I bring people food.
Rowan Collins:Right. Oh, let's go.
Annie Hawthorne:Let's go let's go. Let's go say hi.
Isaac Allen Burns:Let's go say hi.
Annie Hawthorne:More more direct.
Isaac Allen Burns:So you go
Joe Diametti:out to the foyer?
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm.
Isaac Allen Burns:Very good. You head out to the foyer where you see Scarlet and Benedict are walking in. And as the two of you come in, you see that Benedict smiles and says, oh, hello. Yes, Scarlet. These are the people that I was just about to tell you about.
Isaac Allen Burns:They brought my brother back to me unharmed.
Rowan Collins:Hi, Benedict. Hi, Scarlet. Hey.
Isaac Allen Burns:And you see that Benedict looks over at Scarlet and says, they said that they knew who you were, that they had met you. Isn't that interesting? You were both from Bracken Road. Right? And Scarlet looks at the two of you and looks at Benedict and says, my memory is so foggy, though.
Isaac Allen Burns:I just I meet so many people. I'm so sorry. I don't recognize you, though. What are your names?
Annie Hawthorne:Scarlet, it's me, Crink. We we, like, met at the bakery every morning for the past, like, month.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. Yes. I met a lot of people at the bakery. Of course, that's how I know you.
Rowan Collins:Well, I mean, like, you literally cried on our shoulders about the fact that you were being arranged to be married. Like, that's how we know you, Scarlet. I don't understand. Like, what are you talking about? Isaac put his finger that.
Isaac Allen Burns:I can can joke
Isaac Allen Burns:about that.
Isaac Allen Burns:Okay. I'm gonna need, like, five minutes to think about what happens here.
Joe Diametti:Okay. Thank god. I I have to pee so bad. Okay.
Isaac Allen Burns:Yeah. That's it for this episode of Dodoborne... I'm gonna go take a walk and do a think real fast of what kind of Jane Austen consequences that's gonna
Joe Diametti:happen. Okay,
Isaac Allen Burns:everybody. Well, if you like this episode hey, everybody. It's me, your GM. Don't forget, you as a GM, you can take five minutes and think and think about what's what's gonna happen next because sometimes you'll get
Joe Diametti:a curveball. Or in this case, two weeks.
Isaac Allen Burns:Maybe two weeks. Go sit in your car and think about it. Anyways, hey. If you love this episode, we really appreciate everybody all the love we're getting on socials. If you like this episode, if you like our show, please go and give us five stars on your podcast rating system of choice, Apple Podcast, Spotify, all the other ones that are used by people.
Isaac Allen Burns:Five stars, please. We love it. We read every single one. They fill our hearts with joy. And, yeah, thank you so much to everybody.
Isaac Allen Burns:Thank you so much Demiplane for being so cool with all the stuff. Yeah. And thank you, Darrington Press, for making a game. And squawk on 3. +1, 23.
Isaac Allen Burns:Hey. It's a podcast.