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In this podcast, we share our sermons and teaching from our Sunday Celebrations + some other additional teaching content.
00:06
For a moment then I thought I was the fourth member of the Trinity.
00:13
Thank you, David, so much. It's so kind of you. um Yeah, no pressure now, Jeff. Thank you very much. It's lovely to see so many of you this morning um on a beautiful autumn morning. The glory of God is shining, especially on me, which is nice. I want to bring you greetings from the church in Cardiff, All Nations, where we're experiencing the blessing of God, and the church is growing.
00:42
which is wonderful, it? And it's good to see here. Really, really full. there. God is with you, isn't he? And you have a lot to be encouraged about. Where's Ali? You know that song you sang, was that a prophetic song? I think there's more to it. Was that recorded, that prophetic song? It was?
01:09
I don't want to play it right now, but maybe if I could ask you to consider going back over that song, musicians, I believe there's a song in there eh that the Lord has given, not just you, but the church. There's something in it. em Is that okay? Thank you. Well, I understand that you are looking at the moment at the kingdom of God. Is that right?
01:38
through the life of David? So far, that's great so far. And I've been asked to share with you this morning about an aspect of David's life in the kingdom, and specifically his friendship with Jonathan. How many of you would be familiar with the story of David and Jonathan as you find it in most of us? Obviously, you know who King David is.
02:07
David uh was a shepherd boy who grew to become the greatest king that Israel and Judah. You can hear me now, can't you? Because you've just been going like this thinking, what's he saying? ah David was one the major figures of the Old Testament and the whole scripture. And for a season of his life, he had a friendship with a man who was called Jonathan. And Jonathan was the son of King Saul.
02:37
Saul was the first king, not a good man, and Saul became David's sworn enemy and tried to kill him many, many times but failed. And the ironic thing is that David's closest friend in his whole life was the son of the man who was trying to kill him. And they enjoyed and experienced a friendship that lasted for a long time until Jonathan was killed in a battle. uh
03:06
And David lived the rest of his life without having his friend with him, but lived in the reality of having had a friend that they called covenant friends. And so we're going to look this morning at some aspects of friendship. Is that okay? Now as I was preparing this, I felt a little bit guilty, to be honest, because I thought, Lord, this is so ordinary.
03:32
And I, yeah, I got rebuked. You ever have the Holy Spirit tell you off? Welcome to my world. And he just said, but that's the beauty of it. The ordinary is powerful. And so we're going to talk about their friendship, aspects of their friendship, and how they relate to us. So can we look at a scripture? It's in 1 Samuel.
03:58
Chapter 18, we're just going to dance around certain aspects. Their story is vast and varied, and it's a wonderful, wonderful story. And we can only look at a few examples and a little glimpse into aspects of their friendship that relate to us, that relate to me. I ask myself, what kind of friend am I to my friends? We just...
04:27
as we're going in, friendship is a really important thing. We're not born to be alone. Friendship is vitally important. But I'm sure just in your life you know that there are degrees and there are depths of friendships. There are people you know quite well, there are people you know intimately, and there are people you know hardly at all. m What I'm sure you have found in your life
04:56
that the deeper your friendship with someone, the more intimate your friendship with someone, ah the more expectations there are of you, the more demands that are made of you. Often the pain is deeper and it's more costly. Now I'm not talking about a marriage, my marriage, Diane is my best friend.
05:21
So I'm not talking about the marriage relationship, I'm talking about other friendship relationships as well. Now even Jesus experienced depths and degrees of friendship. Jesus loved everybody, but even Jesus had degrees and depths of friendship. He had 70 people who followed Him. They were His friends. Then He had 12 disciples who were with Him for all the time, and He enjoyed...
05:49
a degree of friendship with them. And then he had three special friends, not exclusive to exclude other people, but in his own understanding, he had three men, Peter, James, and John, who were his three closest friends. And out of those three closest friends, he had a best friend, and his best friend was John.
06:13
New Testament says he's a disciple that Jesus loved. He loved them all. But John was the person who really knew him. Okay? And so it's okay to have friendships like that.
06:26
It's quite expected. Understand that. And what we're going to see is that I certainly, I cannot live at this intensity of relationship with everybody in this room. I know some of you. Some of you I know quite well. Some of you I know intimately. And some of you we've never met before. And you think, well, can we be best friends today? I say, no, because you don't know me.
06:51
But I will be friendly to you and who knows what might happen. I mean, how I ever became close friends with Jeff Grice, I have no idea.
07:02
Why would he choose to be my friend?
07:10
Okay, let's have a look at, we're going to read um something, I'll just note a little phrase because this will come to us in a moment. This is the first time that we see them interacting. It says in verse chapter 18 of 1 Samuel, when David had finished speaking with Saul, he's just killed Goliath, and I think was it Chris Hema Hodges was with you talking about Goliath? Brilliant, I loved Chris. When David had finished speaking with Saul,
07:37
Jonathan committed himself to David and loved him as himself. Another scripture says, Jonathan became one in spirit with David and loved him as himself. Notice that phrase, he loved him as himself. Verse 3, Jonathan made a covenant, they made an agreement. We don't know the details of that covenant. Jonathan made a covenant with David because...
08:07
He loved him as himself. And Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic and his sword and his bow and his belt. Now, what we're going to see is these aspects of friendship relate to us because of that phrase, he loved him as he loved himself.
08:36
That in the Scripture is called the royal law, or the golden rule, people call it, and the Scripture itself calls it the greatest commandment. Could you look at Mark chapter 12 with me, please? This is very important for us because we're not talking about having mates. We're talking about something that the Holy Spirit does.
09:02
in our lives living in the kingdom of God. It's not that unbelievers can't experience friendship, of course they can, but there's something about friendship in the kingdom of God. And it's an expression of what Jesus talked about in Mark 12 when one day, around about verse 28, someone came to Him and said,
09:26
Mark 12, 28. What's the greatest commandment of them all? Thinking Jesus is gonna hit the 10 commandments. And Jesus said in verse 29, this is the most important. Listen Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. This is the greatest commandment, he says. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, with all your strength, with everything that you are, love God.
09:56
With everything you've got, just love him. That's easy, isn't it? Love God. said, I can do that. I can do that. I can do that. And then he said, the second is this. Love your neighbor as yourself. There's no other commandment greater than these. And all of a sudden, everybody says, have you thought that through?
10:19
It's not the next door neighbor. Neighbor means whoever is, you're interacting with. Whoever you know, whoever you meet, he says, love them as yourself. Love them. He went further in the Sermon on the Mount because he said, you've heard it was said, love your neighbor. And they said, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he said, but I say to you, love, you said, it said, and you hate your enemy. And they said, yeah, yeah, we hate our enemies. Old Testament never says that.
10:49
And he says, I'm telling you, love your and love your enemy. And you say, you've to be kidding me. Do you want to be honest? There'll be times I wish he'd never said it. I said, Lord, if you know my enemy, he said, I do. But you know, that's a different subject. But you know when you love your enemy, he's no longer your enemy.
11:14
That's another message. Anyway.
11:19
This is their first recorded meeting in 1 Samuel 18. Possibly they knew each other, they knew of each other. Jonathan was very famous. But the script it tells us that something happened to them that day that was already taking place within them. The new, the Bible says rather, they were knit in their hearts, they became one in spirit.
11:47
And they began a friendship that the Holy Spirit did something. And we're going to look at how they lived out this royal law, to love each other as themselves. The royal law basically says, treat other people the way you want people to treat you. Speak to people the way you want them to speak to you.
12:17
You just say, treat me like this. And the Bible says, then you treat them like that. And you say, but what if they don't? You still do that.
12:31
That's the role of Lord. You say, those Yorkshire people.
12:41
Even Welsh people, you've got to us because we live closest to heaven.
12:47
you
12:52
Exactly, I know you're right, yes. uh And that's so true. There's only people. God doesn't have borders. We make the borders.
13:05
Very first thing we'll find there, I'm going to give you five things, okay? They're ordinary, very ordinary, but this is what it means to live as a friend in the kingdom of God. The first thing we found in 1 Samuel 18 was, did you notice what Jonathan did that day when he spoke to David?
13:28
If you imagine the scene, David has just come off the battlefield, he's covered in blood, he's got a massive sword, and he's carrying a Goliath's head in his hands. And you think, let's get out of here, let's stand clear. Well, Jonathan didn't do that. Jonathan, it says, he took off his armor. And he gave David his sword, and he gave David his bow, and he gave him his jacket.
13:56
And you think, well, why would he do that? Because he was expressing something. He was saying, in our friendship, we can be vulnerable with one another.
14:10
Vulnerability in friendship is very important. That's why it's very ordinary, this folks today. Because we can be people, and I have been like this, I'm speaking about me. We want to preserve ourselves, protect ourselves from being hurt, from being betrayed, from being let down.
14:40
we put up a shield of protection. Now that's not wrong.
14:46
I have had times in my life when I've entrusted myself and been vulnerable with people and it's not worked out. And I have said, I will never let anybody in to my life again. Or I'll be polite and I know how to behave. I'll have a veneer of protection around me and I'll be very polite and I'll be very pleasant.
15:12
But no one is ever going to get in to me again. You'll say, won't get hurt again. You can't live like that. I've lived like that. Because that veneer becomes a shell, it becomes a husk, and it becomes a steel cage around which loneliness, bitterness, isolation can get in.
15:42
But when I am vulnerable, I let my friend into me. I let them see beyond that. I'm prepared to share the deepest things of my heart with them. Now, you can't do that with everybody, but you can do it with some. You say, I don't have anybody like that. God has somebody for you, like that, that you can be really vulnerable with.
16:12
they know about you. We're not talking about psychology and not against any of that, but it's important that we know that.
16:23
It's important as people who know this thing that we can be secure with our friends. It's funny, Jeff will talk about tears. with Jeff and Pam, there have been times where we're having lunch today, so I can't guarantee we won't.
16:42
But there have been times when we've sat and we've been eating in restaurant together and we talk about things we're going through and all of a sudden, well, I don't know the waitress is thinking because there are four grown-up people sitting bawling at a table in these posh restaurants and thinking, what on is going on? But we can just do that. And it's not because of Jeff's terrible jokes.
17:10
But there are times when you can share your vulnerabilities with people and you know that you're safe.
17:18
Do you have people that you feel safe with?
17:22
Also the question, am I a person, am I a person that my friends feel safe with?
17:32
Am I a man, a friend, that people can let down their guard with? Or don't they? Are they not like that with me? Because I can convey something.
17:46
that makes them feel not vulnerable. Now I'm not talking about cancelling, I'm just talking about life. Do you have people in your life that you can just be bare boned with?
18:02
And are you the kind of person, am I the kind of person that people can be that with? Only you know that. That's why it's so ordinary. I said, okay. They had that. The second thing is that they trusted one another. They trusted one another. If you look at 1 Samuel chapter 20, we won't have time to read this whole story.
18:30
But if you read the story...
18:37
Things got worse with David and Saul, and Saul tried to kill him several times, and David had to run away. And there came a time when it got really bad. David, Saul, Jonathan said to David, listen, I'm going to go and talk to my father about this. And he said, but it's not safe for you to be there. So Jonathan took him out into a field.
19:06
of all places. And he took him to a massive, massive big rock called Ezell, which was a meeting place. And he said, well, I'm going to go to my father now, because there's a feast and you should be there, but it's better you're here. And he said, I want you to hide behind this rock.
19:26
Of all the places he said I want you to hide behind this rock on his own in a field and he said now I'm going to talk to my father about you And that's what he did And eh it didn't turn out well because Saul tried to kill Jonathan But if you imagine being David's position now David is in danger of his life and the Bible tells us
19:56
that he was behind that rock for three days on his own. This massive big rock on his own, no one around him, and his friend was now with his enemy to find out if it was safe. And Jonathan's own life was in danger. Now, how do you think David felt for three days?
20:23
Is he nervous? Frightened? What if? I can assure you this, David slept like a baby.
20:35
Do you know why? Because he trusted his friend.
20:42
That's how powerful trust is. This is the level we're talking about, that you can trust people with your very life.
20:56
Am I a man who is trustworthy?
21:01
Am I a man who keeps my word?
21:06
Am I a man who keeps my promises?
21:11
That's the big thing. That's why it's ordinary. You say, yeah, I am. Yes, I am.
21:19
Am I someone who looks out for my friend? Do want to say something about this? m Do I look out for my friend? Is he in my heart? Is he in my mind? Wonder how he is? Have I got his back? Do know sometimes you say, I've got your back and then you say, why am I feeling this sharp pain?
21:46
Do know the Roman soldier never had armor for his back? He had armor for everything else, but he didn't need it for his back. Do you know why? Because his fellow soldiers guarded his back. They fought in squares. He never worried about his back.
22:01
Am I a person where my word is my bond?
22:10
I remember I had I talked to a married couple once. No, it wasn't it was an issue then they were talking about friendship and trust and I said, can you help us? said, I think I think I can let me see and they said You know when people say They'll do something for you and then they don't do it Yeah, and they say yeah, I'll be at your party but they have no intention of being there
22:39
or I'll call you at nine o'clock tonight, but they didn't. Well, he said, well, that's okay with me, he said, because I don't feel I have to, even though I say I will, I don't feel I have to. And I say, well, why not? He said, because I didn't promise I would. He said, if I promise I'll do something, then I'll do it. But just because I say something, I'll do it, doesn't mean I'm going to do it. And I thought, I wouldn't trust you with a bean.
23:10
Would you? It's crazy. But if you think the number of times people make promises that they don't keep.
23:23
Because am I a person who if I say something, I'll be there. So Harry says, would you come to Southport, 2nd of November, 1030? I'll be there. You're all sitting here thinking, well, where is he? And I say, well, yeah, I said I'd do it, but nah, I can't be first. It's a long way to drive, and it's winter time.
23:52
Don't matter. What you gonna think of me? I said, yeah, but I didn't promise to come. I gave my word.
24:03
He gave my word.
24:07
You see, for David and Jonathan, when one of them said something, the other one took them at their word.
24:18
David said, can I trust you, Jonathan? But you didn't even have to ask the question. Of course you can trust me. You go and stand there, hide there for three days. I'll go away and find out. David never missed a beat because he knew he could trust his friend. Do you know about trust? Trust takes time.
24:47
Tragically, Diane and I have had to help some married couples where there's been a breakdown in the marriage through various reasons. And I remember one, many years ago now, a young lady, she said, because of what her husband had done, and we were trying to help them restore the marriage. And she said, it's not I don't, I love him, I still love him, but I do not trust him anymore.
25:16
because he had broken his promise. He promised to be faithful and had not been faithful to his promise. And the job was not to build love, the job was to build trust. You know you're living in a world and a society where no one trusts anything? They're looking for people in the world today, people are looking for people of integrity who keep their word.
25:44
one of the hallmarks of, I believe, the church over the coming seasons will be we are men and women who can be trusted. We can be trusted with confidences. We can be trusted with money. We can be trusted with integrity. We can be trusted. We may not be liked, but we can be trusted. You see,
26:13
When you keep your word, your word becomes your bond, it becomes legally binding on you. If you know the story of David and Jonathan, in 1 Samuel 20, in this same story we're looking at here, Jonathan said to David, listen, whatever the future brings, if I live, then I'll, yes, you'll be the king, not me, and that's another story. He said, but if I die, if I die, if I happen to die,
26:42
before you, would you continue your faithful love, your covenant love, to my household after I've gone?" And David said, yes, I will.
26:57
But so Jonathan did die. He died in a battle not long after. And sometime later when David was the king, David was sitting in the palace one day and he said to his advisors, is there anybody that I can show covenant love to for the sake of Jonathan, my friend? He didn't think, wow.
27:25
I'm out of that now. oh Jonathan's gone. All my responsibility, all my promise has finished. And they said, yeah, there is someone. His name is, oh, why couldn't his name be Fred? His name was Methibeshef. Sorry about that. I my tea bag. His name was Methibeshef. And what is even more, he was a man who was crippled.
27:51
He'd fallen when he was a baby and he was crippled in both feet. He couldn't do it. He was of no use. He had no worth. couldn't fight military. And they brought him to David and David said, you're the son of my covenant friend. You will eat at my table for the rest of your life.
28:13
And that's what he did. Why? Because he had made a promise that he could be trusted. And even after Jonathan was dead, David looked after his crippled son for the rest of his life. That's the level of trust and commitment we're looking at, folks. That's what it means to love as you love yourself. It's not just making you feel good. It's thinking, when I commit to you, I commit to you. And if necessary,
28:43
I will commit whatever, if you ask me, I will commit to that too. So be careful what you commit to. Don't make rash promises. Some people say, would you do something for me? said, it depends what it is.
29:03
It's not a laugh a minute.
29:06
But I feel it's really important because we're living in such a broken world. Fractured relationships, lack of integrity, no one trusts anybody, betrayal, everybody's in it for themselves. But there has to be different in the house of God. The days of people coming and saying, I'm joining this church and I'm going to be in this church the rest of my life, I'm committed. Six months later.
29:33
Where have they gone? Oh, I got a job offer in South Africa. I'm gone. Hang on a second. Hang on a second. You said something. You said, I'm here for the rest of my life. Yeah, but things have changed.
29:52
Not your word doesn't change. If you've made a promise that you need to be released from, ask to be released from it. But don't just walk out the door. That's the level that we're talking about here. But only the Holy Spirit can do that.
30:11
we okay? You're still smiling a little bit. Okay. I want to tell you, this is a great way of living. It's a great way of security to know that you can be vulnerable, that you can be trusted, that you have friends you can trust with your very life. And if you say, oh, not me, I can't trust, I find it hard to trust. I understand that. But you were born to trust.
30:36
Here's the third one.
30:40
Go to chapter 19 and verse 4,
30:47
There was another incident before the one we've looked at.
30:57
Saul ordered his son, Jonathan, and his servants to kill David. But Saul's son, Jonathan, liked David. He loved him very much. So he told David, my father intends to kill you. Be on your guard, and I'll go and stand beside my father in the field where you are. This is another incident. I'll talk to him about you. And then it says, Jonathan spoke well of David in his absence to his father, Saul.
31:26
One of the things about friendship is this, is the way that you speak about one another.
31:35
and the way that you speak about one another when you're not there. How does Jeff Christ speak about me when I'm not here?
31:45
I'm not asking you to answer that question.
31:56
Hold on, quiet. eh
32:01
Proverbs 16, 28 says, gossip separates close friends.
32:07
How do you speak about your friends when they're not in the room?
32:15
How do I speak about my friends when they're not with me? When I say, oh, Sue Gregg.
32:23
say to her face, Sue, you're such a wonderful, generous, kind person. You have a loving spirit and you're just wonderful. I can't to think. She's a bit cringy. She's a bit odd, isn't she? She's one of those arty people and I don't get Sue. And sometimes she can be, she's a bit flaky, isn't she? And she's not my cup of tea. Oh Sue, it's so lovely to see you.
32:56
Hypocrite. Two-faced.
33:02
How do I speak about my friends when they're not with me?
33:06
What do I listen to about my friends?
33:16
If I talk to my friend Amanda Carr, we'll be talking and then someone comes and they say, Amanda Carr.
33:27
sometimes she just drives me up the wall and I say yeah yeah yeah she's a bit odd isn't she? Say again? Who is? You disagree with me? Well done!
33:47
You were the one. She said, no, you're wrong. She did not allow me. What's your name? Karen would not allow me to speak ill of someone else.
34:04
Well done. Is she your friend, Katharine? I know. See? Even though we're using an illustration, she's, no, you're not. No, she's not. You're wrong.
34:17
Do I allow people to say things about my friends to me when you're not in the room?
34:30
That's really where it comes down to. We can destroy friendships through the way we speak. David knew that when Jonathan would speak about him, it says Jonathan spoke well of David in his absence.
34:54
Can I tell you something about gossips?
34:58
Gossip, you can guarantee this, if someone gossips to you about somebody, you can bet you can take it to the bank that they will gossip about you to somebody.
35:14
Why? Because you're the repository of their gossip. So I ask myself a question, am I the kind of person that people come to to gossip about people?
35:29
That tells me something about me.
35:33
If I'm a person who will listen to gossip, I know that means I'm in trouble because a gossip thinks I can talk to him.
35:45
I've never known anybody admit to being a gossip. Oh no, I'm not a gossip. I just like to know what's going on.
35:55
No, you're gossip. No, I just... It's just so I can pray. Have you heard? Have you heard about Miriam Smith?
36:08
It's just for prayer, okay?
36:13
Now there is a math sometimes. Just pray for Miriam, that's different. Because so many Christians get spiritual. Now I'd just like to know what's going on in the church.
36:30
heard something.
36:33
can't tell you what, but she's got it all down this side. She was seen in the pub.
36:47
We laugh, but it's evil. Do you know the word gossip in the New Testament? One of the words for gossip is diabolos. And the word diabolos is the word for the devil. Nice to see you, Miriam.
37:05
I think she died ahead.
37:14
woman. We go back a long way.
37:23
Don't gossip.
37:31
fourth thing is honesty. Do you know that David and Jonathan could disagree? In 1 Samuel 20 and verse 1, they had a disagreement. This is where the story looked at. says, David fled from Naoth and Rami, who was on the run a long time. And he said, what have I done? What did I do wrong? How have I sinned against your father?
37:58
And Jonathan said, you're not going to die. You're wrong. You're wrong, David. He's not going to kill you. He's not wanting to kill you. But verse three says, no, your father knows he's going to kill me. You're wrong, Jonathan. And Jonathan says, no, David, you're wrong. Jonathan says, no, you're wrong. I love that. That it wasn't, they didn't sit down and just say, oh, you know, it's...
38:27
You're so wonderful. Well, you're so wonderful. And oh, you're so gorgeous. And you're so gorgeous. They could disagree. They saw things differently. But they had the strength of bond. It wasn't like, well, let's agree to disagree, shall we? No. They solved the problem.
38:56
Let's sort it out. Now I'm blessed because I'm married to a woman who literally does not let the sun go down on her ruff.
39:09
when I have tried to go to sleep and she says, you're not going to sleep, you know.
39:15
Is that right? I thought, I've probably got couple of hours because the sun is going down, I want to go to bed. I've got to sort this out. You can be honest in your friendships.
39:28
Honesty is very important because Proverbs 24, 26 says, an honest, do you an honest answer is like? Do know the Scripture? Oh, here's one. This is a great memory verse. An honest answer, Proverbs 24, 26, this is your memory verse for the week. Put this into practice, try it. An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.
39:51
I thought that went down like that. That didn't go round rather well. I'm not asking you to kiss me on the lips. Have you ever had a good kiss on the lips? What's this?
40:10
It's the only chance I'll get today. For the point. oh
40:25
Now come on, let's be honest. For those of us who have been in this situation, a kiss on the lips is rather nice, isn't it? Yes. I'm a Christian. I'm in church. Come on, stop being religious. A kiss on the lips is great. A smack-a-roo is fantastic. You know, you go, are we ready to go, mwah! That's an honest answer like that, does you good. I feel better for that.
40:53
If I didn't value my life, I'd go in for another one.
41:02
But friendship is being real with each other.
41:07
So my friends, my covenant friends, they can say to me, you know, Rog, your attitude today, it's stunk.
41:18
And I say, who do you think you are to tell me that? I'm your friend.
41:26
Or do you know something you did much better than you thought you did? Oh no, I'll never preach again, I'll never speak again. For goodness sake, pull yourself together.
41:37
You can be honest with each other. They'll tell you what you really think. You see, I don't just want people who are just going to butter me up. I want encouragement. Yes, we'll talk about that in second. But I want honesty in a friendship. If I'm doing good, that's fine. If I'm not doing good, I want people to tell me. I want people to be honest. I know where I am with honesty. It might hurt.
42:07
You know, faithful of the wounds of a friend. And I tell you what, I got some scars. But I am who I am today, and I'm not finished yet. I am who I am today because honest friends have said to me, you can't be like that anymore. You've got to change. And I'm going to make sure you change, and I'm going to help you change. And they stuck with me through change and encouraged me to change. And when I've changed, they say, well done. Now we work on this.
42:36
because I have friends who are honest with me and I want to be honest. I just don't want to be tactful. Or if I say this, it's, you know, can I say this to them? Yes, you can. If you have a friend and you've got the bridge to speak to them, be real. Now that is not an opportunity for me to be brusque. Do you say brusque up in Southport? I know because you're posh people. Or to be insensitive.
43:04
or to be cruel. That is not the Holy Spirit. Thinking, listen, Deb, would you be honest with me? And she says, will I heck? And then walk all over you. That's not it. Some people are so rude and insensitive and they say, well, know, I'm a northerner.
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Isn't that rubbish? It's like Welsh people, think we're all sad and living coal mines.
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It's terrible. It's not true. You think, no, you're rude. Don't be rude. But be honest. If someone says, what do you think, tell them. Don't go home and say, I wish I'd said that. That's what I really thought. Tell them what you really think. Build on friendship.
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Last thing, is this okay? I know, sorry, they're just very practical things. You think it's not great theology, but it is good theology because it's truth. And the last one, which I love, is covenant friends encourage one another. If you look at 1 Samuel 23.
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This is the last time that they met. ah
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And in 1 Samuel 23 verse 15, David was in the wilderness of Ziph in Horesh when he saw that Saul had come out to take his life. And Saul's son, Jonathan, came to David in Horesh and encouraged him in his faith in God, saying, don't be afraid. My father will, Saul, will never lay a hand on you. He'll never get you. The very last thing his friend ever did to him before he died.
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Because David was down, David was on the run again, David was in need of encouragement, he was living in caves, he just could not get a bed for the night. And his friend came and said, he encouraged him. The encouraging, encouragement means this, when someone encourages you, you know what? They make you stronger. The problem in the situation might not go away.
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but they give you something to help you go through it.
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Strengthen you.
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Nobody ever died of encouragement. Many people have been killed by discouragement. Discouragement weakens you. It makes you feel inferior. It makes you feel a failure. It takes away, drains your hope. It drains your strength. It drains your self-worth.
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encouragement. Put your head up, your shoulders back, your faith in God stronger. You know you've got somebody who stands with you, who understands you, who gets it. They're not coming out with platitudes. Oh well, God is good all the time.
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God is good all the time.
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pain today. Yeah, but God is good all the time. People used to throw Romans 8 at me all the time. But all things work together for good to those who love the Lord, brother.
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But they forget, it actually says, know that all things work together for good. Encouragement doesn't mean throwing Bible verses at people. Encouragement is bringing God to them, the Holy Spirit, you. Sometimes encouragement can be this, this. Can I just stand with you and embrace you?
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Sometimes the worst thing to say is, I understand exactly how you feel. No, you don't. I understand how certain people feel because I've walked a similar path. But I don't understand how you feel.
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So I'm not gonna, that's something I don't get, I don't understand. But I do know this. My God is your God, and I'm gonna be with you in whatever you have to go through. I'll do whatever I can to help you. Thank you. What can I do to help you? Could you take me for a cup of coffee now? Sorry, I got a prayer meeting to go to.
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See, when you encourage, you strengthen. Hebrews 10 says, consider how to spur one another on. Consider. You think of your friends right now. Do you have friends? You have the kind of friends we're talking about? Are you the kind of friend we're talking about?
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Then consider. Consider your friend.
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Oh, they're doing okay. Great. Encouraging world is strong.
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And when you think of something, what can I just do? Is it a message to them or just take them for a coffee? There's something. How can I spur them on? Not to witness and get on the streets and win more people for Jesus. How can I just spur my friend on? Do you it might just be a smile?
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It can be a hello. It can be anything.
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One of the biggest things I believe people need today is encouragement.
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I believe you are such people, you're good people. It always takes us a long time from the moment we walk in through there to get to the front because you're such generous, kind, loving people. So I'm not talking to a people who are not like this, but it's time to up the ante and the spirit to be that shining light that Southport needs so much these days and Cardiff needs. And we are works in progress.
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And so I'm done. I just want to say one thing in closing and thank you ever so much. Don't be condemned by anything I've said today. Be encouraged. I'm speaking to me. I'm looking at my life, how I can be these things, increasingly so. I am a work in progress. I'm not what I was, but I am not the finished article by.
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any means, have a long way to go. But if I can encourage you to do one thing in it all, learn to listen.
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Listen to people. Don't just, do not just while they're talking wait for them to finish their sentence so you can dive in. Learn to listen to people. Sometimes words are not necessary. They just want someone to listen. And they know when you're listening and when you're not. By whether you're looking over their shoulder.
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or your phone. I can see you're looking out thinking, this person's not interested in anything I'm saying. They're just going through their phone. That's not my problem. But I mean, I'm not saying anything worthwhile they want to hear. But listen.
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But thank you ever so much for listening. Well, thank you for being here and staying awake. But in it all, I trust that you would find one little nugget for you just to be a friend. OK. Thank you. Who am I handing back to?