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Advocating for your mentee is a critical way you can support and encourage them in to greater things. Stephen is joined this week by Nate Hill, an Area Director at YoungLife to discuss what it looks like, why it's so important, and some practical ways you can start advocating for your mentee.
Show Notes
Advocating for your mentee is a critical way you can support and encourage them in to greater things. Stephen is joined this week by Nate Hill, an Area Director at YoungLife to discuss what it looks like, why it's so important, and some practical ways you can start advocating for your mentee.
Find out more about YoungLife:
https://younglife.org/
Reach out to Nate:
mr.natehilljr@gmail.com
A Voice to the World (Nate’s podcast)
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Find out more about YoungLife:
https://younglife.org/
Reach out to Nate:
mr.natehilljr@gmail.com
A Voice to the World (Nate’s podcast)
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others you can mentor.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to the You Can Mentor podcast. My name is Steven, and I'm here with a special guest today. His name is Nate Hill from Tyler, Texas. He's the area director of Young Life. How are you doing, Nate?
Speaker 3:Man, I'm doing great. And thanks for having me. I'm excited to be with y'all today.
Speaker 2:Nate, you you started your own podcast recently. How about you share with our listeners what you're up to?
Speaker 3:Man, well, yeah, we have a podcast. Lately, it's been my wife and I together, just tackling some some some difficult subjects, some things that, you know, people shy away from from time to time. But it's called a voice to the world because I believe that's what we've been called to be, is a voice to this world. And and we speak to things, again, that some people shy away from. And so, you know, we like to say that we are giving a voice to the voiceless, and we're putting sound to the silence.
Speaker 3:And so we just do that in in numerous ways.
Speaker 2:I love it. I love it. Well, I mean, I looked on there. You got conversations about fatherlessness. You got conversations about transracial family struggles.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you have any other topics that you guys are are gonna hit coming up that you could you could plug?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Well, actually, after we done the the interview or, basically, it wasn't even an interview. It was a conversation with my wife and I about transracial family struggles because we are a transracial family. We are in East Texas, where it's a lot of history here, And we're actually not from here, we're from California. And so, we moved to East Texas nine and a half years ago.
Speaker 3:So we moved from Compton, California to Lindale, Texas. So, the home of gangster rap music to the home of Miranda Lambert. And so, just to say, you know, we're we're in a bit of a different world, you know, for the last nine and a half years. But about 3 years ago, three and a half years ago, we had a young lady come into our family, which is now my daughter. And so, here it is.
Speaker 3:You have a a African American family. And and I have a a 6 year old daughter who happens to be white. And there's a lot that comes along with that here. And we recently had a situation where we were in a restaurant and a lady felt justified to kinda come to our table and begin asking our daughter questions to seek her safety, to make sure that she was safe. I mean, never spoke to my wife or I.
Speaker 3:Never asked if it was okay to to ask her any questions. Just kinda felt justified to do that. You know? And, you know, after my wife kinda shut that down, you know, we thought that that'd be a good topic to just talk about because we do have a rye a variety of listeners. We're we have a wide variety of community, a wide variety of friends, and we and, you know, I just thought, man, people need to know what this struggle was like.
Speaker 3:You know? And and since then, we've had a few transracial families reach out to us. And so I think our next few episodes may be with different transracial families Wow. About experiences and and things like that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:That is insane. Yeah. And and I I guess it's also east Texas. So
Speaker 3:Man. And and, you know, it's it's normally opposite. You know? You normally see, you know, a white family that has a Black kid or multiple black kids. And so, outside of myself, I haven't seen it any other way.
Speaker 3:And so, when other people see it, it's immediate what's going on here. My wife has been accused of stealing my daughter out of Walmart. I mean, it's you wouldn't believe it. I got stories for days. It would take a few episodes to to really talk about that.
Speaker 3:But those are some of the things we're gonna begin to highlight in these, upcoming episodes on our podcast.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. A voice to the world, Nate Hill. Y'all look it up. And in your background, you just told me before this call that you are the OG Mentoring Alliance. Like, you were a part of the conversation of making it into the Mentoring Alliance.
Speaker 2:Tell us about that. Because because our our my boss or my former boss, Zach Garza, he's joining the Mentoring Alliance. So tell tell us that story.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I just heard I just heard about that. Yeah. So, when I moved here actually, I was already here for a few years, but the Mentoring Alliance was getting started up. It started it was started by 2 churches here in Tyler, Texas, Grace Community Church and Greenacres, through the mission pastors there.
Speaker 3:And I believe they had just started going to, like, a apartment complex and kinda hanging out in an apartment complex. And then once that school year was up, they were trying to figure out, man, how are we gonna stay connected with these kids over the summer? And through that, the mentoring alliance was birthed. But it wasn't originally the mentoring alliance. Kevin East, which is one of my mentors, good friends, he was over at Pineco.
Speaker 3:They they brought him on to kinda lead it. And it was originally under the Boys and Girls Club. And so at one point, Tyler, Texas had the only Christ centered Boys and Girls Club in the world. And so through that, you know, there was some, you know, little pushback, you know. And so, you know, it began it to begin a thing is, you know, how can we actually have an umbrella ministry that allows the Boys and Girls Club to go under it?
Speaker 3:And so, that's kinda how the mentoring alliance was birthed. And so I remember sitting in the rooms. We were trying to come up with names and, it was some crazy names. You're right. You're right.
Speaker 3:You're right on the board and, trying to
Speaker 2:What other what other names were were on the list?
Speaker 3:You know what? It was so many. I can't even remember, but I I do remember some of those names kinda being off the wall.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's just like churches these days getting named. They're like Elevate. I I I don't know. If you run an organization called Elevate out there, I'm not I'm not throwing shade, but they're just they're just some weird names.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I mean so, yeah, it was that whole process. But but Kevin, I believe, is very strategic, and he's he's very smart. He's and so just his understanding of of ways to do things, You know, the Mentoring Alliance was birthed. And so, I mean, they're doing great things in the community.
Speaker 3:We still serve in the same community. I'm still connected to a lot of people that work there. Actually, some students some students that came from my ministry is actually graduating out and actually going to work for them this summer. And so, yeah, it's it's a great bridge between one another, right, in this community.
Speaker 2:I love it. So you're you're the area director of Young Life right now. How did you get connected to Young Life? And tell our listeners what, yeah, what you guys are doing.
Speaker 3:Okay. So Young Life, you know, you you may not know is a national ministry. It's a national organization. We're in all 50 states. We're in a 104 countries.
Speaker 3:And we we work with middle schoolers, high schoolers, teen moms, and students with different abilities. That's a new word that I just learned. Different abilities, not disabilities. And so so Tyler was actually the first place that Young Life branched out to when it was founded. So Young Life was founded in 1941 by a BTS grad named Jim Rayburn.
Speaker 3:And it was founded in Gainesville, Texas. And, you know, he was going over to be a youth pastor, at this small church. And the church was down the street from a high school and the pastor said, Hey, we can handle the 5 kids that are coming here. We need you to go out and meet some more kids. And so he started showing up at the local high school, showing up to the football practices and different things like that and just began to build relationships.
Speaker 3:And out of that, Young Life was birthed. And so Tyler was the 1st place that Young Life branched out to in 1942. And so we actually have the longest consistent running Young Life Club in the world. 8 years of ministry right here in Tyler, Texas. And so
Speaker 2:You said 30 30 years?
Speaker 3:78. 78? What? Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. We have the longest running Young Life in the world. Wow. Yeah. And so I've I've been I I came on as a volunteer, and I was you know, I saw a bunch of kids.
Speaker 3:We had just started kinda inner city ministry. You know? It took about a 40 year hiatus actually from the inner city of Tyler, which is North Tyler. And so, once that ministry got back started, I became a volunteer and then, you know, quickly came on staff. And so I came on staff as our multi ethnic director, and I was working primarily with developing our ministries in the inner city of Tyler.
Speaker 3:And maybe a little over a year ago, about a year year and a few months, I became the area director to oversee all of Tyler.
Speaker 2:Wow. That's insane. Well, some some something you mentioned to me was that, like, something you're passionate about is advocacy. And so it sounds like you came on in a role to serve kids that didn't have a voice or didn't have the the same opportunities, and that that was kind of your your entry point is, okay, we want we wanna make space for for kids who aren't getting the same services, and then now now you're running the whole deal.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. You know, my goal is to never come on and and really lead the whole thing. I just want it to be a voice and a face to those kids that necessarily didn't maybe didn't feel like they had a voice or didn't always see a face that represented them. And so, you know, when I see those kind of things, my heart is to be a solution to it. You know, I I I grew up in the inner city.
Speaker 3:I was born and raised I was in Los Angeles, California up until 10 years old. And I moved to Long Beach, California, but still in the inner city. And, you know, there just wasn't a whole lot of faces that was that was showing us something different, something positive, and and kinda leading us in a in a right direction. And so, you know, now that I can be that person, you know, that's what I seek to do with my life is to step into those places and and be a face and be a voice. And so, that was that was my goal.
Speaker 3:You know, I I showed up one night. Actually, they had started meeting in the building of the Mentoring Alliance. It was the former Boys and Girls Clubs. And they would hang out and just have, like, a they would play basketball and then have a meal. And then they would break off into, like, a hour, like, group bible study.
Speaker 3:Guys would go in one area. Females would go in another area. And and what I began to see was a a bunch of kids that looked like me, but there were no adults in the room that looked like me. And so I just you know, I was curious. 1, you know, what is this all about?
Speaker 3:Actually, before becoming a volunteer, I'd never heard of Young Life. And so, you know, but I was curious. And so, in that in that curiosity, I began to meet with a guy who was leading it named Johnny Russell. He's been on Young Life staff for about 21 years. And so, you know, I began to talk to Johnny just about what was going on.
Speaker 3:And then we we went to lunch one time and he was asking me, man, would I consider being a volunteer with him? And I and and randomly, this was wasn't even on my radar. I said, Johnny, what what would it look like to be on full time Young Life staff? And he was blown away because he wasn't expecting that, you know, that question. And what I found out, like, a few months after that I asked him that question was that he had just had a meeting with a few people on our board.
Speaker 3:We call it committees. On our committee and saying and he mentioned my name and said if there was anyone that I would love to see take this role, it would be Nate Hill. And he had asked him a few months prior to begin praying for me. And, and so, I think it was a God thing, you know, even though it wasn't on my radar to come work for Young Life or or anything of that sort. But, you know, I'm the first person of color to actually lead this ministry ever here here in Tyler.
Speaker 3:And so, again, I think that's just another avenue for me to to provide opportunity for those that may not necessarily get it. And so, you know, now I I have so many relationships with young men and young women, but, you know, specifically pointing to young men, you know, now they're able to see themselves in a role like mine because it's visible and tangible to them.
Speaker 2:Man. I love that man. Tell me tell me what, you would say is, I guess, the emotion, the feeling that comes from being a being a kid in a program where there's no leaders or staff that look like you, that come from the same experience? Because I I I imagine there's a ton of mentoring leaders listening who are in that same spot where they're they're they're maybe wanting more diversity on their staff. But just tell us, like, what is that like as a kid when when you're coming into a program and nobody looks like you?
Speaker 2:Like Man,
Speaker 3:it could make you feel like you're on the outside. Like, you're a outsider insider, as Brian Larriss would say. You know, I'm I'm here. I'm apart, but I'm on the outside. You you understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 3:Like, so but, you know, I still would say if a mentor is in that position where they're mentoring a kid that may not look like them or come from where they come from, I would still say, show up as yourself. Don't try to be anything other than yourself and how you were created because God will use that as well. But then, also, don't try to make the kid like you. Allow that kid to be themselves while you still show them things and expose them to things that they've probably never seen before because there's there's growth in it all. I like to use the concept of John 4.
Speaker 3:You know, when Jesus goes through Samaria, he doesn't go around it like the other Jews are doing, you know, to take that 2 day extra trip. But he goes through Samaria, and he meets a woman on her turf, in her context. And he allows her to be exactly who she was, and he showed up exactly who he was. And she recognized it. She says, how was how is it that you, a Jew, asked for a drink from from me, a woman of Samaria?
Speaker 3:Like, he was willing I mean, they were considered unclean. And Jesus was willing to get dirty, so eventually she would become clean. And so what does that look like for a mentor? It looks like showing up in they world. Don't just don't just wanna bring them to yours.
Speaker 3:You know? And so, you know, I I hear it all the time is, man, I just don't understand. You know? Well, you do have, you know, a lot of a lot of businessmen or businesswomen that actually do have the time to mentor and come in and mentor. And that's one of the biggest things I hear, you know, when they go into a different context is, and I just don't understand.
Speaker 3:You know? Why is it so hard? Or you know? But for that kid that's in that situation, it may not be hard at all because that's their life. You know?
Speaker 3:And so I would just say, man, show up fully who you are and allow them to be fully who they are, and you meet them where they are and do life together.
Speaker 2:Man, I I I wanna I don't wanna make any assumptions, but it it sounds like Young Life was predominantly white and not serving inner city youth, and there was a transition that occurred when you start serving all communities in Tyler. Like, tell me about, I don't know, just that that process. Because I imagine at first there's, like, a few kids that don't feel like they fit in, that don't don't feel like their tribe is represented, and they're kind of breaking the breaking ground for making an environment where other students that are like them would would feel like they belong. I I don't know if you could you could speak to that.
Speaker 3:Yeah. We're well, for a while, it wasn't a lot of rep representation. But, again, there was someone that was willing to go. Again, Johnny Russell, he was he was willing to go. He actually volunteered at a school because they wouldn't let him get on campus to do Young Life.
Speaker 3:So he volunteered through another organization for a year. He would just show up and and pray. He would just show up and pick up trash in the cafeteria. He would take students' trash and and but in that, he had a plan. He had a goal because he he knew it was a void.
Speaker 3:And Johnny Russell was a white male. You know? And so and he showed up because he saw the void. I I'm I'm really standing on the shoulders of someone that laid the ground the groundwork for that to happen. And so, also, I I have a letter, that I keep in my desk.
Speaker 3:It's from our, former committee chair, Clark Crawford. So Clark was a former area director here years back. And he, you know, just a lot of wisdom. He's been in Young Life for a really long time. Clark passed away in November from COVID.
Speaker 3:He was actually my committee chair when he passed away. But I keep a letter in my desk that he wrote in 1999, that he was writing to people in the community. Hey. I noticed that there's a void in our ministry. You know, we're not reaching all kids at all schools, and I want to ask you guys to join me in prayer because I don't believe our ministry is complete until we're reaching everyone.
Speaker 3:And, and he sent this out to people asking them to pray, and he was saying, There's a few things that we're going to need. You know, 1 is going to be the resources. Another is going to be a staff person, and another thing is going to be volunteers to step in and lead it. And so, the prayer for the work, you know, had been started years ago. It just wasn't no one there to execute it.
Speaker 3:And so, I keep that, I keep that letter in my desk and have for the last 4 years for any time that I have gotten discouraged, realizing, man, that this this foundation has been laid well before it would be. I was just the person that could come in and be the recipient of it. But, yeah, there was a void in the ministry, and it it's
Speaker 2:But someone had to voice that. Someone had to to say it, and I and I love that because I I imagine, and I know I've experienced this, there's a lot of conversations behind closed doors that are like, hey, how do we diversify our board or our staff or our program? But very few letters go out saying, hey, this is something we we're working on, and we would love for you to pray for it. And so it kinda sounds like when you give voice to that, not just privately, but corporately, like, that that's a area where change can occur.
Speaker 3:I mean, there's some there there there's someone there that to hold you accountable because now it's being put out into the atmosphere. And so you have people that wanna know, well, how is that actually going? You know, you well, when you hold it privately, there's no accountability to that. It it's it's just something that you say you wanna do. You know?
Speaker 3:And I it's funny. I have ministries, man, all the time. Churches, everyone. You know? I I'm connecting to a lot of people here to I mean, I just I just build relationships across where I believe relationships go a long way.
Speaker 3:And, you know, that's one of the main questions is how can we diversify? You know? How can we how can we become more diverse in what we do? And the the biggest thing I would say is, well, what is your what is your day to day look like? You know?
Speaker 3:What what does the day to day look like? Because you you can't expect someone to just show up out of anywhere. Out of you know? You know? But what is your what is your for for pastor, I would say, you know, you want your Sunday to look different.
Speaker 3:Well, what does your Friday Saturday look like? You know? Because it matters. And and and diversity, I believe, happens naturally. But I also don't think diversity is the goal.
Speaker 3:Diversity is a start. But then inclusion, because it's not enough to just have a person at the table if they're not being included in the conversations, I think, and then belonging after that, you know, where a person feels like, yeah, this place is for me. And that's because I've been included, because my voice matters. And so and we got a long way to go just across the board. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Well, and and I I'll say this that something something I've seen in our own program are our high school ministry leader. He's black, and our program reflects that. There's there's 2 white kids, 2 Hispanic kids, and 28 black kids, and I think it's representative of the guy leading it. Like, the kids relate with him just naturally.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Like, he he meets with them at a different place than I'll ever be able to, and because of that just natural experience. And and I think also just developmentally for for kids growing up, they're trying to figure out who they are. And so naturally, you're going to attach more to people that are like you and look like you, talk like you, like the same things as you. And and so I I think that's been a wake up call for us in recognizing just what you said.
Speaker 2:Representation really does matter in youth ministry because kids are naturally drawn in different ways that maybe later on in life, the the the idea of connecting with someone from different backgrounds is more palatable. But when you're just trying to figure out your own identity, you're just naturally gonna be drawn to to people from the same experience. Mhmm. And I I've been challenged by that. And now that I'm stepping into this executive director role within our program, I I do wanna become more vocal of how do we make our program at every level look like the community that we serve, and and that has to happen at every level.
Speaker 2:It can't just be, we want we want more Hispanic kids. Like, it's like, no. We need more Hispanic coaches. We need more Hispanic board members. We and, like, it it has to be reflective of the community.
Speaker 2:So
Speaker 3:And I think it's a work. It's a hard work, but it is it's it's definitely a work that's worth it. And and I think it I mean, I'm figuring that out right now as well. You know? As as someone of color, you know, coming into a majority white ministry is how do I how do I, at every level, make sure that it's inclusive?
Speaker 3:Starting at our our board level and then flowing down. And so, you know, one one thing I I had to wrap my mind around, you know, the first few months coming into this role, okay, is not just hanging out in North Tyler where I'm comfortable. But when I became the area director, I became the area director of the area, of all of Tyler.
Speaker 2:All Tyler. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I'm showing up in our showing up in our suburban area. I'm showing up to where the kids are that don't look like me, that have even been apart for years. I'm showing up in those clubs. I'm getting to know them just as much as I'm hanging out with the kids, you know, that that I've been building relationships with in this community for the last few years. And so it's all a work in progress.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Definitely.
Speaker 2:So so, I mean, yeah, we've kinda focused on representation as a form of advocacy for kids to give them a voice. What are what are some other forms of advocacy you've seen in in mentor relationships just in general for children? Like, where do they need an advocate?
Speaker 3:I think in all areas of life, you know, in all areas of life, kids need someone to show up. They need to know that they have someone in their corner that's cheering them on. You know, I had one of my good friends. He just graduated from high school last week, but he, you know, he was one of the top high school basketball players here in in East Texas. In the last few months, began to just get in some trouble and and just go downhill because of some situations just piled up one after another and just a lot of pent up anger and aggression.
Speaker 3:And and it began to come out, and And it was to a point where he didn't know if he was gonna graduate and end up he found out he was gonna graduate literally the week of graduation. But, you know, he called me in tears just excited. Like, I just got the word that I'm graduating. And I just let him know, man, how proud of him I was. And, you know, he's like, man, I got your ticket.
Speaker 3:I need you to be there. And I wouldn't miss it. It's an honor to sit in the stands and cheer you on. And so, I I think that's what that's what kids need. They just need someone to sit in the stands and cheer them on.
Speaker 3:They need to know that they have someone there rooting for them. And so that's what when I look at advocacy, that's what I think it is. It's it's you cheering a kid on in every area of their life, whether it's the area that you agree with or the ones that you don't. You know? And so I think we've been we've been positioned to, one, we in Young Life, we use a language called earning the right to be heard.
Speaker 3:You know, we don't just expect kids to come to us. We actually show up where they are. And so, you see young life leaders on campus, you see us in the lunch room, you see us at the at the basketball games, the volleyball games, the tennis matches, the golf tournaments. Wherever kids are is where we're at. And so we're showing up in their world constantly and and we're earning that right.
Speaker 3:And so when we do speak, it's it's spoken from a place of of someone that has earned the trust of a kid. And so we we do that by constantly showing up. And so I believe when you do that, that just speaks. It speaks to the kid that they're for me. And I have so many relationships with with students that don't even come to Young Life.
Speaker 3:You know, they don't come to Young Life events. Maybe they came at one point and don't come now or or just never came. Just someone I I met and began to build relationships with. And it it's not for the organization. It's it's it's for the relationship because us as as carriers of Christ, you know, as as Christ representatives in his world, it's never about the organization, but it's about the soul and about the life transformation that happens through relationship.
Speaker 3:And so, you know, when you approach a relationship like that, there's a lot of longevity Yeah. That can happen. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well and if and if you're a mentoring organization listening, maybe that should change your metrics of not just tracking attendance, but, like, thinking about how many relationships have you built, how many kids have you been engaging, getting in their life. They're not coming to group, but you're you're building relationship and trust. Like, that that should be where you focus. Like, how many kids have you gone deep with? And, I think that would probably change the way we look at the metrics of our organizations.
Speaker 2:It's like Yeah. We're not just focused on how many kids are showing up.
Speaker 3:Stevie, you know what I found is that sometimes numbers do lie. Sometimes numbers do lie. They don't always tell the impact because you may not have a 100 or 200 kids showing up consistently as being a part of whatever programmatic deal that you have going on. But you may have those 3 kids that you went deep with and you were very intentional with that have now met Christ and are walking with Jesus and reaching their friends.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it
Speaker 3:it's can't put a metric on that.
Speaker 2:You can't. So so it's not just the like, tracking the kids that are showing up, but tracking the kids you're showing up for.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:That that changes your mindset as a as a mentor, as a leader. Yep. How many kids are you showing up for?
Speaker 3:Yep. And so that's one thing, man, that I've tried to embrace with even being in this role and even with our staff. You know, it's constantly encouraging me. And because sometimes we like that. I mean, that gives us that that gratification or, you know, kinda helps boost our ego is, man, I had a 100 kids here tonight.
Speaker 3:You know? And it's like, okay. Well, how many of those kids do you know personally? You know? And so that's kinda been the approach that I've tried to take even with our staff in this season.
Speaker 3:It's to hold everything with a open hand, but also be intentional. Like, this is what we've been called to. And so since we've been called to it, let's go after it. And numbers are not gonna always reflect the work that's happening behind the scenes. You know?
Speaker 3:I I I may I I probably wasn't able to post an event, you know, that that reflect all that we're doing. But, man, I probably had a guy at my house sittin' on my couch crying his eyes out and seeking advice because he needs some direction. I mean, that's just you can't put a metric to that impact. Yeah. You know, I thought about even with the young man that I was just briefly talking about just at his graduation.
Speaker 3:I mean, literally, he got dressed in my car. We're sitting in the parking lot. He needed a tie. He needed some shoes. He called me, you know, most mentees do, about a hour before to let me know he needed something that he knew he needed a week ago.
Speaker 3:So, you know, but I pull up. You know, I'm there, me and my wife. And my wife literally has sent me a picture of me helping him, I ain't even know she took it, of me helping him get dressed for his graduation and what I and what I saw just helping him put his cap and gown on, showing him how to put his pass on. You know? And but for me, that was reflective of walking with them to the end.
Speaker 3:And really, we're to the end of one stage because now that he's graduating high school, our relationship isn't gonna end. But now it's it's helping it's helping them get through the next stage of life, you know, and being there and cheering them on for that and continuing the hard conversations and and always leading them back to truth. And so mentoring is just an ongoing thing, you know. Sometimes kids outgrow the program, you know. I don't know if you guys have, like, that that age limit where a kid kinda graduates out, but at the end of the day, the relationship is really is for life.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. It's not for the age of the program. You know?
Speaker 2:Wow. So
Speaker 3:That's
Speaker 2:good, man. My my mentee, he's graduating high school, and I'm challenged just by this conversation because I know he's graduating on Sunday. He he's walking, and I already made plans to go to Houston. And I'm like, dude, I gotta be there. I gotta come back.
Speaker 2:Not not just because I'm feeling this pressure, but, like, this is a this is a formational moment. And I I was talking to his mom yesterday, and she she was having a hard time just because he he's he's planning to go to a HBCU in Oklahoma, Actually, the only HBCU in Oklahoma, Langston.
Speaker 3:Langston. And so my best friend, he's about to be at my house in about 3 hours. He's a he's a Langston alumni.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Maybe that's I need to connect because he's in Oklahoma all the time. He's actually just coming from Oklahoma right now.
Speaker 2:Please, let's make the connection. But my my grandma lives, like, 10 minutes from there, and so I'm excited about anytime I'm I'm going to see her, I can go see him. But, anyways, his mom has just been discouraged just because she's trying to motivate him to get into this mindset of college is different than high school. Like, you're gonna have to study. You're gonna have to up your game on responsibility.
Speaker 2:And and she just she feels like she's been discouraging him. And and so she feels this weight of I'm the only voice in his life calling him to this higher standard, and it's like when you only have one relationship calling you up Mhmm. Like, that can, I don't know, shut you down? But if you have multiple voices that are calling you, lifting you up, like, and calling you to that higher standard, it really helps you rise to that and not just be discouraged by it. And so I've been I've been realizing that's that's something that I'm gonna need to do in this next season is really have those hard conversations, push him, and distribute the load of those difficult conversations from just one relationship, if that makes sense.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Absolutely. And, you know, so I I believe the more voices is always the is always better. It's always good. If those are the right voices, if those voices come from a place of of, you know, truth.
Speaker 3:And, you know, so, you know, that even for my own son, you know, I have a 13 year old son. My desire is for him to have multiple men in his life that could speak to that could speak to him and and and bring him back to the truth. That could help raise him up and help guide him in certain areas. Because, you know, sometimes one voice kinda gets stale. Like you said, you you need that that you you need multiple voices coming at you sometimes.
Speaker 3:And so he just started this this training. You know, he's trying to get himself in in some shape. And so sometimes, I won't even go into training, and I won't go in purposely because I don't want when his coach is talking with him and training him up, then I don't I don't need to be there. You know, I may sit in the car because I know he's gonna look at me to figure out if he wants to follow that direction or not, and I trust the trainer. There's a difference if I didn't trust him, but I do.
Speaker 3:And so since I trust him, I'm a back off, and I'm a let him have his voice. And so more voices are always great.
Speaker 2:Well, I can just hear him thinking, like, I think my mom's crazy. My mom's like, if I don't say that same thing, like, hey. College ain't high school. Like, he's just gonna think, oh, my mom's crazy. She's unrealistic.
Speaker 2:Like, this is gonna be a breeze. He he he needs someone else saying, hey. You gotta gird up your loins, bro.
Speaker 3:For real. There's gonna be a lot coming at you.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah. Please please send send me your your friend's contact. We'd love to connect them. There was one other thing you had mentioned earlier that I glazed over. You were you were talking about how a mentor isn't, I guess, how do I say this?
Speaker 2:Just advocating for their mentee to become them, like, and fulfill their potential, but actually advocating for your mentee to become who your mentee is made to be like. And I think there's a dynamic of really we have a a goal in mind as mentors of who we want our mentees to be, and we have our own experiences that we want them to follow in our footsteps, but there may be a different a different path that god has for them to fulfill. And, really, we have to advocate for them, not just for for our deal. Can you speak more to that, what you were saying?
Speaker 3:Yeah. I think we all have a plan set out for our lives, and none of it is the same because we're all being uniquely created. You know? That's why that's why we have all have a different fingerprint. You could have a twin, identical twin, and still have a different fingerprint.
Speaker 3:You have a different path in life. You know? All of our paths are not meant to be walked the same. And so you you for me personally, I like to see where people's strengths are and and build from that. You know?
Speaker 3:I had a mentee man. This mentee would get in trouble so much. But it was really he had a lot of anger just from from dad not being present. Dad was accessible, but dad wasn't present. And so he would take his anger out by wanting to fight all the time.
Speaker 3:And so for for people at the school, that was just a really bad thing. He was like, man, we can't tolerate this. And they would just send him off from to a, what is this? Like, a continuation kinda school. That's really leading up to prison school to prison pipeline.
Speaker 3:That's a whole another conversation, but but they would just send him away because they didn't wanna deal with it. And so I remember talking with his mom. I was like, well, how about we take him up to go boxing? Let's put him in boxing class. Does he like to fight?
Speaker 3:Let's that may be his gift. Let's put him in a boxing ring where he could get some discipline
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:Where he could get some training. He will also have another mentor speaking into his life, because that's another person spending time with him that's gonna teach him a technique and teach him not to use the skill for anger. But this could be the very thing that that helps provide your life for years to come. You may be a a professional boxer one day. And so it it's it's taking that gift and molding the gift even if it comes out in a negative way at times.
Speaker 3:You know, a person may may talk all the time, may be a class clown like I was. I was a class clown. I wanted to speak all the time. I wanted to be seen. I wanted to be heard.
Speaker 3:But now I speak for a living. You know, I I outside of leading young life, you know, I I'm I'm called to go different places and do trainings and speak and be on stage. And who knew that was my gift? Even when it was coming out in a negative way. And so a lot of times, what we see is is not always a bad thing even though it comes out sometimes in a negative way.
Speaker 3:But it's also something that can be molded. And so yeah. Like, I I want my son that, like, there's certain books I read, and I and I and sometimes I am kinda I push him on my son. He's 13. He's, National Junior Honor Society.
Speaker 3:Straight a student. He's a leader I've never had well, earlier in life, I did. But as he's matured, I haven't had any, like, behavior issues out of him, like, when he comes to school. He's into to acting and and theater, and that's kinda his deal. But sometimes, because I don't understand it personally, I've never been a theater kid.
Speaker 3:I've never been into acting. I've never been into writing scripts and all this kinda stuff. And so sometimes I push on him and I have to recognize it, what I desire. You know? Do I desire you to sit at the table and write a full movie script at 13 years old?
Speaker 3:Nah. I desire you to go outside and do something physical. Why? Because that's what I know. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:So but that's that don't mean that's what's best for him. You know? And so I have to find ways to connect with where he is. Okay. Great.
Speaker 3:Then let's go. When we're out of town, we're gonna visit, you know, our parents in Atlanta. Alright. Let's make time to go visit Tyler Perry Studios. That may be something that sparked whatever creativity or whatever is happening in your in your world, whatever gift you have, I have to find ways to mold that, you know, even when I don't understand it.
Speaker 2:Wow. That's so good. That is so good, Nate. Because that that's a mentor who's humble enough to decenter themselves and actually center the child and say, hey, I'm seeing these things. Like, like you said, giving sound to the silence.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Like, that's not just areas of injustice. That's also untapped assets that that a kid may have that no one else has spoken to and encouraged. Like, that is so good, man.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Nate.
Speaker 3:I believe, man, as as mentors, that's what we've been called to. And it's not gonna always be easy. There are plenty of times we we wanna throw in the towel because we don't understand or it's frustrating or, even at times we hit a ceiling in that relationship where we feel like we're being blown off. But I promise you, man, these relationships matter. They matter more than we know.
Speaker 2:So good. That is Nate Hill. He is the Young Life area director in Tyler, Texas. He is the OG Mentoring Alliance, the man the man that matched Kilton McCracken to a mentee who's now leading leading the mentoring program at the Mentoring Alliance. You're the real deal, Nate.
Speaker 2:I'm looking forward to connecting more in the future. Your deal, a voice to the world, people can look that up. How how else can people connect?
Speaker 3:They could find me on Facebook just under Nate Hill. It it may say Long Beach, California, California, not Tyler, Texas because I but, yeah, you can find me on Facebook or, I mean, if you wanna connect with me, you can email me. Nrperiodnayhilljr@gmail.com. You know, I I love to I love to speak. I love to connect.
Speaker 3:I love to train. I love to quit, and I just love to do life with people. So feel free to reach out to me.
Speaker 2:So good. We'll put all that information in the show notes. Thank you so much, man, for jumping on the podcast.
Speaker 3:Thank you all for having me. It was good.