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The author explores the emotion of aggravation, defining it as a low form of anger caused by friction. They propose an escalation pattern for anger, starting from friction and leading to full-blown anger. The core idea is that aggravation arises when one repeatedly spends attention on something they believe doesn't deserve it.
I have been spending more time lately trying to get in touch with my emotions. Finally, after all these years, I am confronting those internal demons and doing what that preschool teacher told me when I was 4. She said, " You need to get in control of yourself! I have spent over 50 years trying to figure out just what that woman meant by that. What is control? Who is in control? How can I control myself? Alas, she probably did not realize the lifetime of mental torment she would inflict upon me, or perhaps she did?
Anyway, one emotion that I experience from time to time is that of aggravation. Or at least that is what I call it. It is this sudden irritation that makes me want to scream, or clench my fists or something of that nature. It happens sometimes at the silliest of moments. I drop something, a pen, on the floor, and that was the last straw, and now I am feeling this sudden massive flood of emotion. I decided to spend some time researching and thinking about this phenomenon.
The important idea that I uncovered is that this feeling of aggravation is a real, low form of anger that is caused by friction. Something gets in the way of what you are trying to do, and that friction causes you to respond. However, why is it sometimes at DEFCON 1 and other times at DEFCON 5? I think there is wisdom in viewing this as an escalation pattern. You experience friction (DEFCON 1), then you feel irritated (DEFCON 2), then you start to get aggravated (DEFCON 3), and then you get angry (DEFCON 4). I suppose the last straw is when you start throwing things, having a temper tantrum, or deciding to sell your house and buy a sailboat.
The emotional intensity often grows not because the actual problem becomes much larger, but because your mind begins accumulating evidence: this keeps happening, nothing is changing, and I have to keep spending energy on it. This added element makes it more than frustrating. The added element is that you feel you shouldn't have to deal with this at all. So frustration plus the friction you feel is unnecessary becomes aggravation.
To put this all in a useful phrase that has helped me put this into perspective: Aggravation is often the emotional response to repeatedly spending attention on something you believe should not deserve that attention.
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This is day three fifty-six anger caused by friction.
I've been spending more time lately trying to get in touch with my emotions.
Finally after all these years. I'm confronting those internal demons and doing what that preschool teacher told me when I was four.
She said you need to get in control of yourself.
I've spent over 50 years trying to figure out just what that woman meant by that what is control who is in control? How can I control myself?
Alas, she probably did not realize the lifetime of mental torment. She would inflict upon me.
Or maybe she did.
Anyway, what emotion that I experienced from time to time, is that of aggravation?
Or at least that is what I think that is what I call it. It is the sudden irritation that makes me want to scream or clench my fists or something of that nature. It happens. Sometimes at the silly is the moments. I drop something a pain on the floor and that was the last straw.
And now I'm feeling the sudden mass of flood of emotion.
I decided to spend some time researching and thinking about this phenomenon.
Important idea that I uncovered is that this feeling of aggravation is a real low form of anger that is caused by friction.
Something gets in the way of what you are trying to do and that friction causes you to respond.
However, why is it sometimes at Defcon 1 and other times a DEFCON 5?
I think there's a wisdom in doing this as an escalation pattern.
You experience you experience friction that stuff on one.
Then you feel irritated Defcon 2.
Then you start to get aggravated Defcon 3 and then you get angry Defcon 4. I suppose the last straw is when you start throwing things having a temper tantrum or decided or decided to sell your house and go buy a sailboat instead.
The emotional intensity often grows not because the actual problem becomes larger, but because your mind begins accumulating evidence this keeps happening. Nothing is changing that keeps spending energy on it.
The added element makes it more than frustrating. The added element is that you feel that you shouldn't you should not have to deal with this at all.
Kind of like paying my taxes. I always get aggravated then.
So frustration plus the friction you feel is unnecessary it.
Sorry.
friction Plus
frustration plus the friction that you feel.
That is unnecessary becomes aggravating.
To put this in a useful phrase that has helped me put this into perspective.
Aggravation is often the emotional response to repeatedly spending attention on something you believe that you should not deserve that attention.