Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

“Managing emotions—yours and your audience's—is hard enough, but it's even harder when you're under pressure to respond."
High-pressure communication doesn't have to derail your message. In this Think Fast, Talk Smart Ask Matt Anything episode, Matt Abrahams answers real-world questions from members of the Think Fast, Talk Smart Learning Community, sharing practical advice for communicating with confidence when the stakes are high. From managing cognitive load and regulating anxiety to leading uncertain conversations and running more engaging meetings, Matt offers actionable strategies for staying focused, connecting with your audience, and communicating with clarity under pressure

Key Takeaways:
  • Manage your emotions to manage your message. Reducing cognitive load through preparation and emotional regulation helps you think and communicate more clearly under pressure.
  • Lead with your audience in mind. Whether navigating uncertainty or running meetings, acknowledging emotions, setting clear expectations, and tailoring your message helps people stay engaged and take action.

Activity:
  • Stress-test your message. Before your next high-stakes conversation or presentation, rehearse it once under mild pressure—set a timer, record yourself, or practice with a colleague. Notice where you lose clarity, then refine those moments before the real conversation.

Episode Reference Links:
Connect:

Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (01:07) - Speaking Under Pressure
  • (04:01) - Calming an Anxious Audience
  • (07:45) - More Engaging Meetings
  • (12:33) - Communicating Change Without Fear
  • (16:30) - Conclusion

Creators and Guests

Host
Matt Abrahams
Lecturer Stanford University Graduate School of Business | Think Fast Talk Smart podcast host

What is Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques?

One of the most essential ingredients to success in business and life is effective communication.

Join Matt Abrahams, best-selling author and Strategic Communication lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business, as he interviews experts to provide actionable insights that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact. From handling impromptu questions to crafting compelling messages, Matt explores practical strategies for real-world communication challenges.

Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes presentation, perfecting your email tone, or speaking off the cuff, Think Fast, Talk Smart equips you with the tools, techniques, and best practices to express yourself effectively in any situation. Enhance your communication skills to elevate your career and build stronger professional relationships.

Tune in every Tuesday for new episodes. Subscribe now to unlock your potential as a thoughtful, impactful communicator. Learn more and sign up for our eNewsletter at fastersmarter.io.

Matt Abrahams: Managing emotions,
yours and your audience's, is hard

enough, but it's even harder when
you're under pressure to respond.

I'm Matt Abrahams.

I teach Strategic Communication at
Stanford Graduate School of Business.

Welcome to this Quick Thinks episode
of Think Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast.

Today's episode is a special one.

We're taking you inside a recent
live Learning Community Ask

Matt Anything that I hosted.

Take a listen as I answer
real-world communication challenges.

We discuss how to manage cognitive
load when you're under stress, the

power of breathwork for regulating
your nervous system, and practical

strategies for running meetings that
stay on track and keep people engaged.

Enjoy this Quick Thinks episode packed
with engagement, education, and actionable

advice you can start using today.

Well, hello everybody.

I am thrilled to be here with you, and
hopefully there are a few things I can

share with you that might be of use.

So I'm open to any questions you
have about communication that you

think I might have some insight on.

Would anybody like to start?

Natalie, please.

Learning Community Member 1: Yeah.

So English is not my first language.

I think by now I speak pretty decent
English, but my original mother language

is Portuguese, and I moved to US recently.

And one thing I'm struggling with
sometimes when I have high-stakes

conversations, I feel the quality
of my English decreases a lot.

So I wonder if you have any advice on how
to modulate that and make my English sound

the same quality that it has, not worse.

Matt Abrahams: Thank you for the question.

I think the experience is very common.

And while I think it's accentuated for
people who are speaking in a language

that's not their native language, I
think this is true of everybody, all

people, that when we feel stress or
emotion, like we're really passionate

about something, that we might not
articulate our thoughts as well.

And this really has to
do with cognitive load.

Your brain is like a computer.

You know, when you have your laptop or
your phone and you have lots of windows or

apps open, each one of those is performing
less well because the others are open.

And the same thing happens with our
brains, that when I get nervous, when

I get excited, highly emotional, when
I'm worried that I might not be using

the right words, that in and of itself,
those emotions take some of our precious

cognitive load bandwidth that we have, and
it makes it harder for us to accomplish

what we're trying to accomplish.

So first and best way to handle
this is to reduce the cognitive

load that the emotion has.

So if you are somebody who gets
nervous when you're advocating in a

high-stake situation, managing the
anxiety will reduce the cognitive load.

If you're somebody who's really passionate
and excited about something, taking the

opportunity to recognize that emotion
and put it to the side perhaps so in the

moment you can be focused, that can help.

So it's really about
emotional regulation to help.

Now, that sounds easy, like, "Oh,
okay, great. I'll just manage my

emotions." It's very hard to do, right?

Especially if it's based on
anxiety or concern over grammar

and vocabulary, et cetera.

So it takes practice.

It takes practice.

And simulation is important.

So one way to practice is to
simulate these high-stake situations.

If you can stress test yourself
in situations that are similar,

then you are better prepared.

So managing the anxiety, and you
know I do a lot of work on anxiety

management, lots of podcast episodes
on it, lots of writing about it.

And then also finding situations where you
put yourself in that stressful situation

so you become more accustomed to it, that
will free up more cognitive bandwidth.

So I hope there's something there,
Natalie, that sounds useful to you, but

it's really about the cognitive load,
and anything we can do to reduce the

cognitive load of the circumstance will
help you articulate your thoughts better.

Thank you.

Arun, I'm curious if you have a question.

Learning Community Member 2:
I do have a question, Matt.

We live in an uncertain economic times.

We, a lot of companies are restructuring.

So us leaders, we are in a very high-stake
situation where we have to talk to our

teams, our followers, and oftentimes
what we see is that there's a lot of

anxiety and nervousness in the audience.

When you're talking to, let's
say, ten people or fifty people or

five hundred people, there is that
general sense of anxiety, and it

gets compounded, especially when
you're on a Zoom or something.

My question is: How do one approach
something like this and put the anxiety

and the level of angst that people have
at rest and communicate what needs to

be communicated in a thoughtful way?

Matt Abrahams: It is true that times are
turbulent and things are changing, and

that can be very unsettling for people.

And often that brings anxiety and concern.

And as leaders, as people in positions of
power, it's important to recognize that.

And it's important to recognize
that the messages you have

are important to get across.

But if people are in a state of
fear and concern, they might not

hear it or hear it the way you want.

So it's important for you to be
empathetic and to recognize that.

And the work you do in
advance to expect it.

So before I ever walk into that
room, log into that Zoom, I'm

thinking about my audience.

You've heard me say that
lots and lots before.

And on the podcast, it's the
number one bit of advice people

share is know your audience.

And part of that is understanding
their likely emotional state.

And you can figure that out
by just your own empathy.

How would I feel if I'm in that position?

By asking people.

There are lots of ways to determine that.

So you shouldn't be surprised by it
if you do your preparation right.

Now, I know in spontaneous situations
where things just happen, you might

have to deal with it in the moment.

I believe the best way to handle it is to
recognize it and to start by naming it.

You know, if people are sitting there
in fear and concern, it's important to

say, "There are a lot of things changing,
and they're changing in ways that are

unpredictable and ambiguous. And today I
want to share how we're addressing it and

some of the things that we're doing. And
I want to fully appreciate and honor the

fact that some of us, myself included,
can be very concerned at this time."

So naming it can be very
helpful to recognize.

And making yourself available
to have conversations about it.

So you might say, "And after I'm done
speaking or in the next week or so, I very

much would like to hear from all of you to
better understand your concerns." So it's

acknowledging it, and then it's providing
an avenue to have a discussion about it.

I think that's first and
foremost most important.

Doing the homework in
advance to understand it.

Maybe setting expectations.

I am a huge fan of setting expectations
in advance of communication, if possible.

A meeting invite, a conversation with
people before the presentation or meeting

to help people understand what you're
doing and the fact that you recognize

that this is fraught with concern.

And then at the end, check in with people.

At the end, come back and say, "I hope
the things that I've shared give some

insight and input that is helpful as
you experience the, these things, uh,

as concerning." So making sure to really
acknowledge that even though you've

just said something that hopefully
helps with some of that anxiety,

that it still might exist and what
you're doing to follow up with it.

This is going to help you and
your audience to connect and to

really digest the information.

It is hard for many people to live in
ambiguity and anxiety, and to help them

understand that it's normal and natural
and that you appreciate it, I think

gets you a long way towards your goal.

Thank you for that question.

Nasser, you have a question.

Learning Community Member 3:
Good morning, Matt.

So I'm sure like many, I'm in a position
to lead a lot of meetings, sometimes

fun meetings, sometimes introductory
project meetings, sometimes project

updates are not going so well.

And for the most part, I think
we all do a reasonably good job,

but I've always struggled with
repetitiveness of starting meetings.

You know, you come in there with the
basics of, "Thank you for joining. I'm

glad to be here," et cetera, et cetera.

But I'd love to hear from a
communication sciences perspective,

your view, and maybe even examples
of what you use to engage audiences.

If I lead a team meeting or even board
meetings, what are some great icebreakers

to really get people fully tuned in?

And then as the meeting progresses,
we have a tendency to deviate

from what the core subject or the
topic we were presenting, right?

So what's your advice for getting
that meeting back on track and staying

focused without alienating people?

Matt Abrahams: So two really important
questions there, and questions that

I think a lot of us struggle with
in meetings, and that is, how do we

engage and get things moving forward
in a way that's not repetitive or

actually working against ourselves,
and then how do we stay on track?

I believe that there's a lot of
work that can be done in advance of

the meeting actually taking place.

I think the most underutilized expectation
setting tool is the calendar invite.

And I think there's a lot you
can do in the calendar invite

to set people's expectations and
to engage them before you start.

Just thinking about how
you title the meeting.

What is it called?

Many of us just do blah,
blah, blah meeting.

That's not very engaging or interesting.

Is there a way I can name the
meeting that encourages people to

perhaps get excited or focused on it?

So maybe thinking about the
action or the main action that

you'll be doing in the meeting.

So can you put a verb, an action,
in the title of your meeting?

What I like to do is I like to pose a
question or a challenge in all of my

calendar invites, and I start our meetings
with that challenge or with that question.

So when people come to the meeting,
they know that's how we're starting.

Most people don't like coming to
meetings, and so we're going to

start this meeting by reviewing the
previous meeting you didn't like.

That makes no sense to me.

So starting with some kind of
action, some kind of question and

engagement can be really helpful.

Using icebreakers is a great way to start.

There are lots of tools.

You know, if it's a recurring meeting
where people know each other, maybe

a simple check-in just to see where
people are emotionally or stress-wise.

You know, people use a stoplight.

Are you red, green, yellow?

Sometimes people use a weather forecast.

Are you cloudy?

Are you sunny?

There are other icebreakers if you
don't know groups well or people well

to get people to know each other,
get them interacting with each other.

One of my favorites that I use in all
of my classes is an activity where I

ask people to find things they have
in common and then share those things.

It gets people talking.

It gets them discussing.

It's low stakes.

So how you set expectations up front
and how you start really matters.

I like starting with engagement
before I get to repeating or

recounting what happened before.

Now, in terms of how to stay on
track, part of what I include in

my meeting invites is an agenda.

Agendas are important.

They are a structure for the meeting,
and I make it very clear at the beginning

of the meetings that we have an agenda.

There's time allocated
to different aspects.

And if we need to deviate from
that, we all have to agree.

So if I find that as I'm facilitating the
meeting, we have drift in some direction,

maybe it's a great direction, maybe it's
a tangential direction, I call it out.

I say, "Just want to remind everybody,
we've got these items on the agenda.

Where are we going? Do we want to
allocate time to this or not?" So the

meta-awareness and calling that out as
a leader I think is really important.

Also, if you need to pull people
back just because somebody's talking

too much or they're starting to
go on a tangent, this is where

paraphrasing can be really helpful.

Take something of value the person has
said, name it, and then pull it back.

So I might say, "Nassar, that point was
really important about delivery date,

and it actually ties to the next item of
the agenda, which is our implementation

plan." So I interrupt you, name something
important that you've said, and then

connect it to what's coming next.

That's a really useful way for
me to keep the meeting moving.

And then at the end of the meeting,
it's really important to come back

and assess how the meeting went.

So take thirty seconds, a minute
at the end of the meeting, and

just debrief the quality of the
meeting, not rehashing the issues.

But I might say, "It was really helpful
when Kamel paraphrased that point, it

got us back on track." Or, "When Natalie
asked that question when we were sort

of floundering, that really helped
us." And what I'm doing there is I'm

rewarding the positive behaviors that
help the meeting run well, and it's

sending a signal that I'm trying to
make these meetings run really well,

and I need your help, and I'm noticing
what you're doing when you do help me.

I'd like to take maybe one more question.

Please, Ken.

Learning Community Member 4: Yeah.

So actually, what happened after Stanford
is, after returning back to Oslo,

the business situation was much more
challenging than I was expecting, and

it was probably the most challenging
months in my professional career.

So it was really, really tough situation
until the end of last year, until I

got a real good overview on, uh, where
we are, what are the challenges, how

to move forward, and communicated
actually to a team and wrote a thank

you for your commitment despite
the difficult situation and so on.

But I also wanted to convey a
clear message actually, that

the entire team needs to change.

We need to adapt to the new circumstances.

We need to accelerate, maybe also
processes, the way of working, et cetera.

It's not like only waiting
for management to fix.

It needs to be every single one who needs
to somehow adapt and to do the change.

So for me, the key point is I would
like now to follow up on this and to

try to communicate in a way that I can
actually, how to say, catch everyone.

Still, I, I feel that some people
got it already, but I don't want

to do it in a threatening way, you
know, that people are afraid and

this anxiety, et cetera, et cetera.

So I want to catch the people,
and this is kind of the challenge

for the communication I have.

Matt Abrahams: Right.

So thank you, Ken.

I appreciate you giving us context.

So essentially, how do I motivate
change that is significant in a way

that doesn't invoke anxiety and concern?

And that's very hard.

I have a few thoughts.

First, I really think you should
lean into the mission, vision, values

that you have in the organization.

In theory, everybody in your firm,
in your company believes in and

supports those mission, vision, values.

So if you can lean into them and really
share what you are advocating for, the

changes you are encouraging people to take
on, connect to and really relate to the

mission, vision, values that you have.

What we know from lots of research
in social science is if you can tap

into what currently motivates people,
they are much more likely to be open

to what it is you're saying because
you're showing what you're asking for is

consistent with what they've already done.

So is there a way to make that
message clear that the mission,

vision, values have not changed,
but the activities we need to do

in support of them have to change?

Second, you have to make the
message salient and relevant

to the different people.

Different roles, different levels of
the organization have different key

areas that are important to them.

So you have to morph the message.

You have to target the message
to be relevant to individuals.

People only act on things that they
see as relevant and important to them.

So we don't create one broadcast
message and send it to everybody.

We have to tailor that message.

And sometimes we can just ask
people to help us do that.

So you can give a broadcast message
and then challenge everybody to think

about the implications that has for
them and how they can contribute.

And you have to have clear lines
of connection between what you're

asking people to do and the goal
that you're trying to achieve.

People need to see that what
they're being asked to do

connects to the broader picture.

So creating a communication
infrastructure around these change

messages becomes very important.

That means you have to think
about targeting the message

differently to different people.

You have to have different
processes in place to get the

feedback and repeat the message.

We have to repeat messages over and over.

And you might need to even look at
different channels for delivering

the message, depending on the people.

You know, the class I teach
is strategic communication.

We have to be very strategic
about the communication.

It takes a lot of work.

But I like that you're sensitive
to how important communication

is, so thank you there.

And I thank all of you for joining me
today and for the insightful questions.

It was a true thrill to be with you.

Thank you for joining us
for another episode of Think

Fast, Talk Smart, the podcast.

To learn more about all of these various
skills, take a listen to our back catalog.

This episode was produced by Katherine
Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams.

Our music is from Floyd Wonder.

With special thanks to
Podium Podcast Company.

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