Ep. 12 - Sacred Rage: Why Women's Anger Is Actually Intuition

What if your anger isn't something to suppress—but something to trust?

In this episode of The Dark Feminine Diaries, Victoria and Daphny reclaim one of the most misunderstood emotions women experience: rage.

For generations, women have been taught that anger is dangerous, irrational, or something to apologize for—especially around their menstrual cycles. But what if your sacred rage is actually your body's wisdom speaking?

Together, they explore how rage acts as an internal guidance system, revealing where you've abandoned yourself, crossed your own boundaries, or settled for a life that no longer fits.

From the mythology of Pandora's Box to the archetype of Goddess Kali, this conversation invites you to see feminine anger not as something to fear—but as a catalyst for healing, transformation, and authentic leadership.

If you've ever been told you're "too emotional," this episode will completely change the way you relate to your emotions.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why women's anger has been misunderstood throughout history
• The connection between sacred rage, intuition, and your menstrual cycle
• PMS as information—not something to dismiss
• How rage reveals boundary violations and self-abandonment
• The myth of Pandora's Box and what it really teaches us
• Working with the energy of Goddess Kali
• Nervous system regulation and emotional release
• Rage as a catalyst for feminine leadership and personal transformation
• How to safely process anger instead of suppressing it
• Practical ways to move, write, and release stored emotional energy

Your rage isn't asking you to become someone else. It's asking you to stop abandoning yourself.

✨ Learn more about Monarch Mystery School, transformational retreats, and feminine leadership at monarchmysteryschool.com.

What is The Dark Feminine Diaries: The Descent Into Bliss?

We’ve been told the feminine is “rising," but the truth is, she must first descend—into her roots, her womb, her shadow, her softness. This descent is not collapse. It is reclamation. This 7-part podcast training from Monarch Mystery School is guiding women into the depths of their power, pleasure, and purpose.

Welcome back to another episode of the Dark Feminine Diaries. It's Victoria. And Daphne. And today we are talking sacred rage. Ooh. I'm so excited for this episode. I've been calling myself a rage mother all summer, and that might sound bad, but I promise you it's not, because we're here to flip the conversation on rage and let you know that it's not a bad thing, that it's actually information, and that we as women are meant to alchemize that rage with our womb spaces.

We are meant to use that rage as a catalyst for change, and we are meant to use that rage to bring us into the next evolution because that energy, that rageful energy, ooh, it's powerful when alchemized. Mm-hmm. Mama, that rage that you've been trying to quell, that fire that you've been trying to put out every month, calling it PMS, saying, "I'm so sorry I'm so emotional.

It's just my period." No, my love, that's your intuition speaking. Mm. That's the part of you that you won't let out, the part of you that you will not hand the mic, and she is tapping her foot, tapping on your door, and tap dancing on your last nerve on all the places that you need to make change for you.

Our menstrual cycles have been demonized for years, and sacred rage is tied into that because we've been seen as emotional. In fact, the hysterectomy comes from the word hysteria, thinking that our- Mm ... hysteria, our over-emotionalness came from our, our womb space, which is correct, which means they actually named a medical procedure of removing our emotions by removing our organs.

Can we think about that? Can we let that settle for a second? Holy shit, I did not realize that. Yep. Yep, it was a treatment for hysteria. So- Love that evil cackle. So they have been, like, our emotions have been demonized. Our sacred rage has been literally contained in a box for years. And actually, the, the goddess story of Pandora comes up here.

So if anybody knows about Pandora's story, Pandora's story is that everyone talks about don't open Pandora's box, right? Pandora had a box filled with all of the divine emotions that could ever be had, and so she was guardian of this box. And so she was a very, very powerful god, uh, goddess because she had an innate understanding of how to use every emotion for good.

However, her very story of using her emotion as intelligence and wisdom has literally been turned on its head, right? How many times did you say, "Don't open Pandora's box. It's a can of worms. Everything's gonna go everywhere." Right? Mm-hmm. But it's meant to go everywhere. Yes. And it's okay that it does.

Because that rage that often comes, like Daphne said, most likely interlutial, right? Before your period. It is telling you something, and it is telling you what in your life needs to be burned down. Okay? Yes. Do you have the same fucking fight with your husband every single month? Mm-hmm. Are you battling the same thing with your kids, with your mother-in-law?

Whatever it is, it's coming back up for a reason, and it's pissing you off for a reason. And we have been told that, you know, being pissed off is bad, that, that that emotion is not welcome here, and we're here to tell you that it is. Yes. Because that rage is showing you where you're settling for less. It's showing you where you are not living your goddess-given life, where you are not standing up for yourself because you know that there's a better way.

You know that there needs to be something changed. You know that it's not okay Exactly. And the reason why the argument keeps coming up is because you keep settling, because that, that argument gets quelled by something that isn't actual change. It's an emotional farce. Either you're being gaslit or you're convincing yourself that your own emotion isn't valid once the wave passes.

Now remember, as sacred cyclical beings, our cycles are constantly changing in an ever-changing universe, so maybe it takes, maybe you skip a month in that argument with that, with your husband, but every time that that rage bubbles back up, it's information, and it's coming up to be listened to. It's actually no different than painful sensations in the body.

Right? They're coming up to show you where something is needed, where something is stuck, where something is happening energetically, and rage comes in as an energetic marker of the unseen world. We all have soul gifts that we're here to utilize, and all of those so- soul gifts come with filters, filters that filter out everything that doesn't align, doesn't further, and doesn't help what we're here to do.

And each of us have these energetic filters around us, and sacred rage happens when our filter is literally clogged with bullshit that isn't ours and that's keeping us from bringing in the nutrients and using our tools. Right? We talked about our emotions as that toolbox, Pandora's toolbox. All of our tools are being misused or not used at all, and so our body's like, "What the fuck, bro?

I wake up every day for you. My heart, your heart beats. The lungs work. What the fuck? Why don't you invest in us?" And sacred rage comes up to bubble up. It's almost like that internal fire, and it reminds us either you burn it down or we will with the emotions. It's almost like that internal soul checkpoint saying, "I've had enough."

Yes, and how many times do we not listen? Like, I think in my day as a mom, you know, especially with the kids out of school for the summer, that that bubbling up happens. That like- Mm-hmm ... I'm not rageful to begin with. You know? The little thing happens, and then I let it percolate, but I don't get rid of it, and it settles back down.

Mm. And then another thing happens, and it percolates even further, but then it settles back down until finally I'm screaming fucking bloody murder at everybody Mm-hmm ... and no one understands why. There's two things happening there. One, I wasn't allowing myself to feel the emotion fully. Yep. So it's gonna keep bubbling up until you do, and you have to completely empty yourself of everyone else's bullshit for that to happen- Mm

because you're clogged. Your, your clogged drain, there is more hair and gunk and yuckiness there that needs to be released because when it is fully released, you will actually feel like a tiny kernel of pleasure, and I know that sounds crazy, but when you fully release, even it's, if it's in like you're kicking and you're screaming and you're punching of the pillows and you're, you're rage-dancing around the house, like you will feel the tiniest little bit of pleasure in that.

And that's when you know that you're close to being on the other side. That's when you know you're close to being empty, and it may take far longer than you want it to. Okay? And I get that we feel like we don't have an hour to rage dance, or we don't want to rage dance for an hour because we feel that's too much.

Or if we let the emotions out, that they're just never gonna end. I promise you they are going to end. But if you don't let them out at all, yeah, that first grief rage dance might be all fucking day long, and that's okay because you have to get it out to be able to invite in the love, to be able to invite in the bliss, to be able to fill yourself back up with you, because that's the second point of this.

Rage is telling you where you are misaligned or where you are carrying energy that isn't yours, just like Daphne said. And I don't know about you, but I don't wanna be full of anyone else's energy. I only wanna be full of my fucking self. Well, how can you live an authentic life if you're filled with somebody else's energy?

Mm-hmm. How can you, how can you fulfill your soul purpose if you're filled with somebody else's energy? How can you even lead your own life if you don't know where your emotion ends and someone else's begins? This comes back to another episode that we have about, you know, mommy first, and the way that you regulate this rage, which, by the way, is never gonna go away, right?

We never want it to go away. It's our intelligence system. The goal isn't no rage, all joy. The joy ... The goal is rage as information, joy as our chosen path, right? So when we understand that mommy comes first or that the woman comes first in her own life, then she gets to rage dance every morning or maybe every afternoon as a way of maintenance because she knows that throughout her day she's going to have all these different signals that then need to be addressed and taken care of.

But if you've got a system for regulation, if you've got tools in your toolbox to help let go of this rage or interpret it for yourself, it no longer becomes something you're running away from. It comes some- becomes something you get to be curious about, right? Why is this happening? But when we're overwhelmed, we don't have fucking space to be curious.

When my children are tantruming, I'm not going, "Hmm, I wonder what emotion led to this moment."

That's not what's happening, right? I go into a tantrum mode with them because I say, "How fucking dare you? I'm already chock-full of nuts. How could you be too?" That's it. You're the reason. How could the reason be angry at the, at just the victim, right? Mm-hmm. That's how we feel. And then the rage monster, th- then the rage mother really comes out because she is so in martyr mode, right, that she can't even hear her own rage voice.

Her rage voice is just literally saying, "Not you." Yes, not this. Because how many times is the rage actually just a symptom of you crossing your own boundaries? Oh. That was a big one for me, that it's all boundary-related, that I give a little bit more thinking that makes me a good mom. No. I'm giving from an empty cup.

I'm giving from a place I don't have to give. Like, it is never good Oh my God, I feel that so deeply. And then because I have older kids, they'll notice that I gave that extra thing, and I notice that they react in, in an attempt to control the rage, Mother. And they'll go, "Hey Mom, thanks for doing that thing."

But they'll say it in a way that, like, I know that they know that I'm pissed and that I have crossed my own boundary, and they know it now 'cause I normally react with rage afterwards, right? But how fucking unhealthy is that? That your kids are noticing when... I mean, 'cause I have older children, like, that your kids are noticing when the rage mom is about to come out.

Mm-hmm. And it's, it's, you're totally right. It's the boundary. It's we violate our own boundaries in an act of love, realizing that it's actually an act of violence. Yep. Oh. Oh my God, yes. Yes. Because it goes back to, like, uh, our earlier kind of mommy first conversation in the previous episode. We think that that's what it looks like, that it's sacrifice, that it's overgiving, that that's what makes us, quote-unquote, "good moms."

No, it doesn't. That fucking makes you a pushover. Like, makes you- But- ... the rage monster ... yeah, but, but think about how many more situations we might apply love as a solution if we didn't think it meant sacrifice. Hmm. Right? And how many times might we judge ourselves and others, including our kids, less if we looked at sacred rage as information instead of a reaction to something we're not doing right?

Oh, that makes me just think about, like, the rage in my kids, too, 'cause automatically, the mommy guilt. Yeah. It's like, "Oh, what have I done wrong?" Right. "What am I not doing? How am I not supporting them?" Well, maybe that anger is just information for them. Yeah. And they need to start learning their signals.

Granted, my kids are, you know, six and four, but still, like, I think that just, like, made a light bulb go off in my head, too, that, like, just that emotion, that feeling of anger has been so demonized, um, when really it's telling us so much. Yes. I mean, anger, th- think about what happens in our body, right? We tense up when we get angry, right?

We can't breathe fully. Our body is literally seizing in reaction to a feeling. From, you know, yes, rage comes out obviously in, in physical encounters too, but most of the, the situations we're talking about are emotional. And so if your body is having that kind of reaction, absolutely, your body is, it- it's speaking its own language.

If you've ever taken a yoga class with me or if you go into one of our retreats, you'll hear me say, "You know, your body's constantly speaking to you, and it is your number one job on this earth to learn its language." 'Cause each of our bodies speaks a little bit differently, but sacred rage is a universal

It's, it's a universal message of, "Help, this isn't working," right? So we're gonna encourage you, mama, to find a place to put your sacred rage every day. Now, that could be in writing. That could be in moving. That could be, you know, maybe, maybe you're a bike rider. Maybe you're ... You know, whatever your natural passions are, we want you to start to carve out a little bit of time every single we- every single day.

And if every single day seem- feels so overwhelming, start with the five minutes you're on the toilet. That's right, I just said it. Start in the bathroom, 'cause you gotta go there anyways. Start in that moment between, you know, right before you get in the shower. Start to notice the places that you're raging.

Maybe use the notes section of your phone. Just write it down. Just start to bring some awareness to it. Because over time you'll notice that the same themes keep coming up and keep spilling into areas of your life that don't need it, right? But it's information for you to make change. It's not a problem.

You're not a bad person. It's okay that you're ragey. But if you're extra ragey, it's because you're extra neglected. So take this time for yourself. Start to mine your own aggression and your own rageful moments as information so that you can become the master of your own universe. And do the same with your kids.

It might be super empowering to start to note when they're ragey. What could that mean for how they need to live differently? I love that, and you can always call on the goddess Kali. I know she is one that looks really scary. She's carrying a big head. But she's also comes in when you need to let it all crumble down, when you need to blow it up, when something has to shift.

And her energy actually can feel really nourishing to the rage mother. Um, she's that permission slip, right? She's that archetype of sacred rage, truly, um, to show you what's possible. So let us know where you're raging, where life maybe is giving you that stress, pressure, tension, friction, and share with us some of your stories of being a rage mother on Threads.

We're loving being active over on Threads. Please give us a follow over there. We would love to hear all of your rage mama stories. In fact, we're gonna throw, um, a little, uh, prompt out there to hear all of your rage mama stories today. Um, we wanna hear where life is giving you friction, and where it's challenging you to grow into something greater.

Hmm. I love that. Thanks for being here with us. We'll see you next time on The Dark Feminine Diaries. See you soon, love.