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A Shovavim series learning a Torah approach to shmiras einayim and shmiras habris, with practical tools and perspectives.
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So we're in part four of the קדושת הבית series,
a series during the שובבים to give us the tools and practical strategies of
how to overcome the יצר הרע.
Part three and part four are connected.
Part one was an introduction to the topic and understanding how it's a basic
human nature.
Part two was giving us the skills to be aware not to get into
the situation to begin with.
Part three and four are both about when a person's in the challenge,
when there is some temptation,
there's something lusting,
there's something happening right now which the person feels drawn in,
and he's looking for the strength.
What's going to enable him to hold strong at that time?
So last week we spoke about the idea of externalizing the יצר הרע,
not identifying it as oneself,
but giving it a name,
calling it something outside of yourself.
We spoke about distracting,
the idea that a person should get involved in something else,
either do something sport-orientated or something math-orientated,
but just to call someone,
just to get involved in something else.
We spoke about delay.
We spoke about the idea that an urge comes and it goes,
and it usually doesn't last more than 10 minutes,
and if you're able to distract yourself for long enough to delay it,
then usually that push,
that push to do the עבירה passes,
and just to delay long enough,
and don't worry that it's going to build and build and build,
because it will crash by itself.
It's evil is self-destructive,
like we see from המן.
And then the last thing that we spoke about last week was the belief
that "I can hold strong."
The sentence that you say to yourself,
"I can overcome,
and I will overcome."
That inner belief that a person has,
that's what gives him the strength to be able to overcome.
And today I wanted to carry on that theme,
but give it a a name and give a lot of practical ideas on
how to make that very tangible and down-to-earth.
And we'll do that using ideas of חז״ל and using the idea of יוסף
הצדיק as a model.
But I want to give the idea of what in English we'll call an
anchor,
in Hebrew an עוגן.
And I'll start off by saying the following idea.
There's a פסוק that we say three times a week,
עץ חיים היא למחזיקים בה ותומכיה מאושר,
that there's an imagery of a person who's going downstream,
and he's being washed away,
and the water represents his desires that's carrying him away,
and he feels like he doesn't have the ability to stop it.
He's just being washed away.
He's being drawn in,
he's being taken,
it's against his will,
he's not interested in it,
but he doesn't feel he has anything to do to stop it.
So he's looking for something to hold on to,
an anchor of sorts that's going to give him the strength,
the ability,
that even though now he's being taken,
he can stop,
pause,
hold on to something,
and pull himself out.
So he sees a branch which is going downstream together with him.
He says,
"This is my opportunity!
Something to hold on to!"
And he grabs onto that branch,
but that branch just flows along with him,
because that branch isn't attached to anything.
So a person who has an idea in his mind that this is going
to give me strength,
and then he grabs onto something and it doesn't work,
no matter how many times you try to grab onto an idea that doesn't
work,
you continue going downstream,
and the branch goes downstream with you.
How many conversations have I had with guys about what's happening and what are
they doing?
And then I say,
"Well,
is that working?"
They say,
"No,
but I'll try it again."
We're like,
"Here's another idea.
What about trying this idea?"
"No,
no.
I think if I just push harder on this one idea,
maybe that will make all the difference."
And and they go back to that grabbing onto a branch which is also
not connected.
It's not working for them.
It's not an anchor.
But חז״ל,
but the פסוק says,
עץ חיים היא למחזיקים בה,
that it's a it's a branch of life,
meaning it's still attached,
it's still part of a growing tree.
And the מלבי״ם there says something phenomenal.
Says like this:
עץ חיים למחזיקים לכובש,
someone who's כובש the יצר הרע,
הוא מחזיק בה בעל כרחו.
He grabs onto it against his will,
כאילו החכמה תרצה להיפרד ממנו.
It is as if all the wisdom and all the logic and all the
ideas that he's learned about the ideas,
they don't hold strong at that time when he's trying to overcome the desire,
but he's not letting go.
טבעו מתנגד לזה,
even though his nature is against it,
he wants to do the desire,
והוא מחזיק בכל עוז ואינו מניח לצאת כי הוא כובש את יצרו.
He holds onto that living branch with all of his might,
because he knows this is what's going to pull him out.
So we're looking today for an anchor.
That's the goal of today's שיעור.
What anchor can you create for yourself—and it's going to be individualized,
it can't be a universal anchor because it has to be relevant to you
and work for you—what anchor can you create for yourself,
that when you have this,
whatever it's going to be,
a phrase,
a mantra,
imagery,
whatever,
we're going to discuss a few ideas,
when you've created for yourself this anchor,
this עץ חיים,
real,
living for you.
you,
in your experience,
anchor,
that when you're being swept away,
it won't be another branch that you grab onto which is going to carry
on going downstream with you,
but it's going to be a living branch,
it's going to hold you strong.
And this idea also comes out in מסכת נדרים.
He quotes the פסוק in קהלת:
עיר קטנה ואנשים,
and he quotes the פסוק and he דרשנ'ס it,
so I'll go through it.
עיר קטנה זה הגוף.
It's making a this is in נדרים דף ל"ב עמוד ב'.
There's a small town,
that's a reference to the body,
ואנשים בה מעט זה איברים,
ובא אליה מלך גדול וסבב אותה זה היצר הרע.
So you have a person who's physical,
in other words he has physical desires,
and the יצר הרע comes and attacks him.
ובנה עליה מצודים וחרמים אלו עוונות,
and it traps him.
It traps him in through all the עבירות he does.
He feels trapped.
He feels overwhelmed with the עבירות that he's done and he feels the desire
to do the the desire the איסור again.
ומצא בה איש מסכן וחכם זה היצר טוב,
but he found someone intelligent,
someone intelligent was in that town,
that was the wise man,
that was the יצר טוב.
ומלט הוא את העיר בחכמתו,
and he was able to escape the עיר through תשובה ומעשים טובים,
ואדם לא זכר את האיש המסכן ההוא,
but no one remembered that guy who escaped.
Says the גמרא נדרים:
דבשעת יצר הרע לית דמדכר ליה ליצר טוב.
It doesn't help,
all the good things that you've learned,
all the תורה that you've learned doesn't help at the time when the יצר
הרע attacks.
That's why חז"ל refer to the יצר טוב as an איש מסכן that no
one remembers,
a pitiful man that no one remembers.
And you can just envision that scene where a person has this lust that's
come to him and he feels desire and he feels overwhelmed that he has
to act on it,
and and like,
where's all the מסילת ישרים that you learned?
And where's all the מסכתות that you've learned?
And where's all the שמועסן that you've heard?
Where are they all now?
They're not there.
They're not there.
They've gone.
They've vanished.
בשעת יצר הרע לית דמדכר ליה ליצר טוב,
a person can't remember it.
You can't remember the יצר טוב,
all the good.
So the goal of this שיעור today is to create an anchor,
a kind of a link,
where even when you're being overwhelmed and you're flowing downstream,
even when like the גמרא נדרים describes,
the יצר הרע has put a fortress around you and there's like nothing to
hold you,
it's only the יצר הרע and no one's remembering the יצר טוב,
you'll have a way to remember the יצר טוב.
You're going to have an access point.
You've created an anchor for yourself,
that you know I have this go-to anchor that I know,
that I've created,
that when I feel overwhelmed,
I can take myself I can pick myself up,
I can take myself out.
So that's the goal of what we're going to try to do today.
And I want to start off just by kind of re-emphasizing what we finished
off with last time about the self-belief,
the idea that we have that inner strength.
Last week we spoke about עם קשה עורף is a compliment.
That's how we described it.
The מהר"ל,
that's how the מהר"ל describes it.
He says that being an עם קשה עורף means that the יצר הרע comes
to you and says to you,
"You can't do this.
You're not strong enough."
And you say,
"Not strong enough?
Being strong is my very DNA.
I'm an עם קשה עורף.
You don't tell me I can't handle it.
I'm as stubborn as it gets.
I'm Jewish!
That's what my DNA is!
עם קשה עורף!"
So that belief is also emphasized in this beautiful story in יומא דף פ"ב.
There was a There's a הלכה that if a if a person is not
allowed to eat on יום כיפור,
but if it's a פיקוח נפש case they can eat.
And a woman who's pregnant and she has a desire to eat,
then maybe that desire is פיקוח נפש for the child and she's allowed to
eat.
So here's two stories that happened regarding a pregnant woman who had a desire
to eat on יום כיפור.
ההוא עוברא דארחא לא לקמיה דרבי.
There was a woman who was pregnant and she had she smelled something and
she desired to eat it on יום כיפור.
And she came before רבי.
אמר להו זילו לחושו לה דיומא דכיפורי הוא.
רבי suggested whisper to the עובר,
to the woman,
but she should tell the baby,
that it's that it's יום כיפור today.
לחושו לה ואיחלשא.
She whispered to the baby today is יום כיפור,
and the desire went away.
They said,
"Wow!
בטרם אצרך בבטן ידעתיך,
like the פסוק by ירמיהו,
even before this baby is born,
he already knows Hashem!"
Very impressed.
נפק מיניה רבי יוחנן.
Wow!
That became רבי יוחנן!
רבי יוחנן,
the great צדיק who appears on every page or other page in the גמרא,
he was that צדיק.
Before he was born,
he already was keeping יום כיפור!
Story number two:
ההוא עוברא דארחא ליה לקמיה דרבי חנינא.
Another woman who was pregnant,
she came before רבי חנינא because she desired to eat on יום כיפור.
אמר להו,
same advice:
לחושו לה,
whisper to her.
ולא איחלשא,
but it didn't go down,
it didn't weaken.
It didn't help.
קרו עליה,
he called about this baby:
זרו רשעים מרחם.
Ooh,
so harsh!
A wicked person from the womb!
And who came out of there?
שבתאי אוצר פרי.
שבתאי is not a very good name in Jewish history.
Doesn't have such good success.
The second name is a bit better,
but the first name,
שבתאי,
is not such a great name.
שבתאי אוצר פרי,
he was a person who was raising the price of things in the marketplace
during שמיטה year or other times,
and he was causing the people to who were poor to begin with to
become poorer.
רב ירוחם of Mir brought down in עלי שור part two on the piece
on עשרת ימי תשובה:
He asks a question on this גמרא,
he says,
"How can you judge these people who weren't yet born?
They didn't have free choice.
רב יוחנן was not a צדיק,
he wasn't even born,
he didn't have free choice.
שבתי is not a רשע,
he wasn't born,
he didn't have free choice."
And he gives a new definition of what it means to be a צדיק
and a רשע,
because it's clearly not based on free choice,
as you see from this גמרא,
they weren't yet born.
This is what he says:
A צדיק is someone who has the strength to hold back when there's a
desire.
A רשע is someone who doesn't have the strength to hold back when there's
a desire.
So,
רב יוחנן was called the צדיק in this story,
בטרם אצרך בבטן ידעתיך,
he was called knowing Hashem even before he was born,
because he had strength to hold back.
It doesn't make a difference everything else.
It doesn't make a difference where he was holding,
what his level was,
what...
he wasn't even born yet!
But just the very fact of having restraint,
עם קשה ערף,
I'm able to have restraint,
that already defines a person as a צדיק.
And the very fact that I'm able to hold back...
If I'm not able to hold back,
if I'm not able to hold back and I just let myself go,
I say,
"I'm natural,
that's what I want to do,
I'm following my desires and my lusts," that's defined as a רשע.
How do you do that?
It seems overwhelming.
The גמרא in נדרים said you can't do it!
At the time of the יצר הרע,
no one thinks of the יצר הטוב.
So,
that was the goal,
just to know that we have that ability to do it,
it's built into us,
who we are,
and now we're going to go through and find practical examples of it,
how to create an anchor and how to make it.
We're going to speak about three different types of anchors.
One type of anchor we're going to speak about is in speech,
one type of anchor we're going to speak about is in thoughts,
and one type of anchor is going to be a מצוה.
I'm going to start with the speech one.
This is a point that maybe the most essential point,
and we didn't discuss it last week,
and it's going to be a חידוש for this week.
If you're able to tap into your way of thinking,
there's two levels of the way people think.
Most of the thoughts that people have are external thoughts,
not their actual inner thoughts.
So,
for example,
you hear a song and you sing a song.
So,
now you're walking down,
singing to yourself a song.
So,
as you're singing that song,
it's on play,
it's on playback,
right?
You're just singing it again and again and again.
You're not really thinking,
but you're repeating the words of that song and you're saying it again and
again,
and it's one level of thought.
You're saying the words of the song,
but you're not really thinking about it.
Have you ever had that experience where you sing a song,
you don't know why you were singing a song,
and then someone says to you,
"Oh,
my gosh,
I was just thinking of that same song!"
And yes,
because they were singing it before,
you didn't notice,
and then you just like heard it from afar without registering,
and then you started singing it,
and then someone else heard you sing it,
like,
"I can't believe it,
I was singing the same thing!"
We have a level of thinking where we're not activating thought at all.
It's just thinking,
or you hear something in the news,
or you hear a line someone says somewhere,
and you find yourself just kind of repeating that line to yourself,
or you're just thinking through the the information that you just heard,
and you're just thinking it through.
You're not really thinking even.
It's just like kind of regurgitating information in your mind.
And that's a level of thought which people have.
People who ruminate do this all the time.
People who ruminate where they're taking a thought and just thinking it again and
again and again and again,
"I was such an idiot for doing that."
And again,
"I was such an idiot for doing that.
I can't believe I did that.
Why didn't I tell them this?
I should have said this.
Why didn't I tell them this?
I should have said this."
And it just goes again and again and again and again in the mind.
They're not actually thinking a new thought,
it's just on replay.
There's a kind of a loop where the mind just goes around again and
again and again of thinking.
That's a level of thought where there's no depth of thought,
it's just a thought that's happening again and again.
That kills us,
that level of thought,
because a person hooks in like a like a four-year-old kid who feels he's
not being heard and just says the same line again and again and again
and again and again until you just say to him,
"It's blue!"
"Yes,
it's blue.
Now you can be quiet."
אבא,
זה כחול.
אבא,
זה כחול.
אבא,
זה כחול.
אבא,
זה...
זה כחול?
כן.
Quiet!
Our mind goes again and again and again and again,
around and around and around.
So,
if a person has a negative thought,
"I feel stressed.
I feel stressed.
I feel stressed.
I feel stressed.
I feel stressed," he's chipping away at himself!
His self-esteem,
he's chipping away his defense mechanism,
and then the יצר הרע just comes and just goes,
"Tick!"
and the person falls down.
Because his mind was like eating away and eating away and eating away until
he didn't have any self-esteem.
So,
there are these negative thoughts,
like a thought like,
"If it if it attacks me again,
if it comes again,
I don't think I can hold back.
If it comes again,
last time I held back,
but if it comes again,
I don't think I can hold back.
If it comes again,
I don't think I can hold back.
If it comes again,
I can't hold back,
I can't hold back,
I just can't do it.
How much can a person...
What does Hashem..."
want from me?
What does השם want from me?
What does השם want?
Again,
and again,
and again,
and again!
And it's chiseling and chiseling and Now,
it's not he's actually thinking it in a genuine thought,
but there's this loop in a person's mind which eats away and eats away
and eats away and eats away.
And many people aren't even conscious that they're having that thought.
I mean,
they might hear it once or twice,
but then it carries on going in the background.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
How can I do this?
How can I do this?
This urge is getting stronger and stronger.
It's getting stronger and stronger.
It's getting How much more can I do it?
How much more can I do it?
And it eats away at them.
It eats away.
If they don't acknowledge that there's a deeper level of thinking that they can
have,
then they're going to carry on thinking that way,
by the time the יצר הרע comes to push them over,
they're a walkover.
So you have to have some phrase,
some catchphrase,
some mantra,
which for you is an anchor.
It's a phrase which kind of takes you out of it.
You know when a person is like speaking in a crazy way and they're
just like going on and on and mumbling and talking,
and you just kind of like slap them,
I mean,
don't try that at home,
but like you just say,
"Stop!
Stop!"
And they go,
"What?
What?"
And then you just like shake them out of their craziness,
and then they can like say,
"What What What's going on?"
And then you could start like talking sense.
But the mind isn't being stopped.
It just carries on eating away and eating away and eating away.
So now,
what your catchphrase is going to be,
what your mantra's going to be,
what your anchor's going to be is is very individual.
But I'll tell you how you build it,
how you create it.
A person has a weak spot.
A Trojan's horse where the יצר הרע comes in from.
You have to first identify what your weak spot is.
What's the phrase that you say that like wears you down?
Now,
again,
I know you're not consciously saying it,
and you're not choosing to say it,
but it's just going again in a loop and a loop and wearing away
at you.
Identify what that phrase is.
Identify what it is.
Stage number one.
Stage What is it?
Is it guilt?
Is it self-esteem?
Whatever it is.
It doesn't matter what it is.
Don't feel bad about it,
just acknowledge it.
This is the way we're going to overcome it.
Then,
second stage,
it sounds funny,
but it really works,
say the exact opposite.
So if your if your default phrase is,
"I can't handle this,
this is too much."
Then you just say the opposite,
say,
"This is very challenging,
but I can handle this."
So it's the same phrase,
in reverse.
You said at the beginning,
"I can't handle this,
this is too much for me."
You just flip it over.
And you say,
"This is challenging," you give validation,
you're not trying to pretend something's not true,
right?
It is "This is very challenging,
but I can handle this."
So it went from "I can't handle this" to "I can handle this."
Went from "This is too much,
I can't handle it" to "This is very challenging,
but I can handle this."
Well,
so you have a new phrase.
Now,
what's going to happen next is you're going to say,
"Yeah,
but that's not true."
It's just not true.
Very nice,
you know,
you can make up a new phrase,
but it's not true.
And then you have to support it.
You have to strengthen it.
You have to look for some support.
Well,
you know,
I did once overcome this,
once.
If I did it once,
maybe I can do it again.
Okay,
but usually,
it's going to start,
the משא ומתן.
"Yeah,
but usually you don't."
Okay,
it's true,
usually I don't,
but that's only because I haven't tried this method until now and I haven't
worked on it.
So I've just been being chiseled away.
But now I have an answer to that thought when that thought comes.
The thought comes and says to me,
"This is too much for you,
you can't handle it."
I can't I can't it always speaks in first person.
"This is too much for me,
I can't handle it."
So then you just flip it over and you say,
"This is very challenging,
but I can handle this."
"Yeah,
but you've never handled it before."
That's not true,
I have handled it before.
I've overcome this.
"Okay,
but only once."
Okay,
once,
and now I can do it again.
And then you start actively saying your positive thought again and again.
Now,
I'm going to give a list of a few positive thoughts.
Again,
you can write these down,
but there's no point in writing these down.
What you really need to do is to find what your negative thought is,
what your weak spot is,
and then flip it over.
So here's a few examples:
This urge is uncomfortable,
but it won't last forever.
Yeah?
So someone whose default thought is,
"This is going to get stronger and stronger and" "It's going to get stronger
and stronger.
It's just going to get stronger.
I bet I may as well just give in now.
It's just going to get too much.
It's going to get too much for me."
So then the flip side would be,
"This urge is uncomfortable,
but it's not going to last forever."
The one we just did was,
"This is only a test,
but I can handle it."
"It's hard,
but I can do it."
"It's okay that I have urges,
it's going to get easier with time."
"I'm in control."
"I'm focusing on one day at a time."
Yeah,
you can hear what the flip side of that one is:
"Yeah,
but you did it yesterday,
you did it the day before,
like you're going you're going to fall again tomorrow or the day after."
Okay,
taking one day at a time.
Whatever the phrase is that you say which is eating away at you,
say the flip face.
Flip,
flip phrase:
"I can handle the urge without acting on it."
The יצר הרע is saying to you,
"You have to act on it!
You have to act on it!"
"I can handle the urge without acting on it.
I can do this.
I've resisted before,
I'm resisting now."
It's true,
I have resisted before.
Okay,
usually I don't,
but I have resisted before.
"I've resisted before,
I'm resisting now."
So what your phrase is that you're going to create for yourself that's going
to be unique,
it's going to be yours.
Ideally it comes from your life experience,
real things that happened to you.
You create your phrase,
and that becomes your anchor.
So you're flowing downstream,
you feel you have no strength,
it's being overwhelmed,
you've tried thinking other thoughts,
they haven't worked.
You create your own anchor phrase,
the phrase that works for you.
I mentioned to you what my phrase is,
I said it last week,
"You do your job,
I'll do mine."
That's the phrase that I use against the יצר הרע.
Because you have this image of the יצר הרע who's coming to you,
and he's attacking you again and again and again and again and again,
and like maybe one's inner thought is like,
"This is what I want to do.
This is just what I want to do.
Like let me do what I want to do,
let me just be natural.
Like give me a break,
let me be myself."
And then you identify it's actually not me,
it's the יצר הרע.
And then you realize it's the יצר הרע saying that,
not me.
So then you say,
"You do your job,
I'll do mine.
יצר הרע,
your job to tempt me.
My job to overcome."
That's my catchphrase,
that's my mantra.
That's what I say,
and it works.
It's against my negative belief,
my weak spot.
You say the phrase.
Some people like the phrase,
גם זה יעבור,
this is going to pass.
גם זה יעבור.
No,
it's not,
it's going to get stronger and stronger.
Not true.
It's like an urge,
it's like a wave.
We spoke about it last week,
it's like a wave.
The wave grows up,
goes up,
goes up,
it crashes by itself.
So if your false thought is,
"It's going to get too hard for me,
I'm going to eventually have to give in," then you counter that by saying,
גם זה יעבור,
this is going to pass.
It's going to pass.
It might take another few minutes,
but it's going to pass.
Create your own catchphrase.
You create your phrase,
and then you have an anchor.
It's a live branch,
it's a branch which is connected to a tree.
It means that you can feel you're being overwhelmed,
but you can say your phrase again and again.
You have a counter-phrase to say,
and you can hold strong.
That's the first one.
The second type of anchor,
first type of anchor was a phrase that you said,
the second type of anchor is a מצוה.
And I want to tell a story.
It's a true story about a guy called Moshe who lived in Europe before
World War II.
And if I've told this story,
then please pause me,
but I think it's a great story to hear again even if I did.
And he was not a like a big תלמיד חכם,
and he wasn't a big like ירא שמים in general,
like a normal,
normal איד.
But he did something which was exceptional for those times.
Today it's standard,
but in those times it was exceptional.
He used to eat שמורה מצה the whole week of פסח.
Let's understand,
in those days,
most of it was חדש,
so it was very hard to make מצה.
It was very hard,
Jews didn't have fields.
It was very hard to get מצה.
שמורה מצה for a Jew to stand there at each stage and see the
whole thing was very,
very difficult.
הלואי הלואי the רביים would have שמורה מצה,
that they usually got.
For everyone to have שמורה מצה on the night of פסח,
that was like,
whoa,
that's a big deal.
You got to be a big צדיק to do that.
But to eat שמורה מצה the whole week of פסח was unheard of!
Even the great רביים didn't do that.
But this Moshe,
it was his thing,
he had his thing.
His thing was he ate שמורה מצה the whole week.
And it was strange,
because that wasn't according to his level.
Like he wasn't such a big צדיק in everything else,
but So they asked him,
"Moshe,
why do you eat שמורה מצה the whole week?"
He said,
"I'll tell you why.
I'm a businessman.
It's very hard to be a businessman and keep הלכה.
Do you know how much I'm tempted to overcharge?
Do you know how much I'm tempted to lie about the quality of my
product?
Do you know how tempting it is to charge ריבית?
Do you know how tempting it is not to pay a worker on time?
It's really hard!
It's really hard,
and in my line of business,
I could make a lot more money by like curving those corners.
It's really hard.
I need an anchor."
He didn't use the word anchor.
"I need an anchor.
I need something which is going to like say like,
'Whoa!
If I do this,
there's no way I can do that.'
So I chose שמורה מצה.
I eat שמורה מצה the whole week.
That's what I do,
I eat שמורה מצה the whole week.
And every time I'm tested and the יצר הרע comes to me and says
to me,
'You're going to make more money,
do this,' I say to myself,
'Moshe,
a Jew who eats שמורה מצה the whole week,
you're going to do this?
No way!'
And that way I raise myself up,
and I see myself as a צדיק.
I see myself as a צדיק.
I have my anchor where I see myself as being I'm not a צדיק
in everything,
but in שמורה מצה,
I'm a big צדיק.
And I need that.
I need to see myself as a צדיק,
because when I'm tempted to do the עבירה and cheat in business,
if I don't see myself as a צדיק,
like what's going to hold me back?
I'm just going to fall.
So I have my anchor,
my ציצית,
sorry,
my my my שמורה מצה.
That's my anchor.
I remember the fact that I have שמורה מצה the whole week,
wow,
I'm a צדיק,
now I know I'm a צדיק."
The רמב״ם alludes to this idea in his פירוש המשניות at the end of
מסכת מכות.
It's a famous line,
רבי חנניא בן עקשיא אומר,
רצה הקדוש ברוך הוא לזכות את ישראל And therefore He gave them lots of
מצות.
And you ask yourself like,
really?
Lots of מצות is a זכות?
That makes it worse.
If we would have less מצות,
there would be less obligations.
We could keep them well,
and then it wouldn't things wouldn't go as wrong.
But so many מצות means there's more to do,
and how can we keep it all up?
Like how is having more מצות better for us?
It's actually worse for us!
Says the רמב״ם:
כי בהיות מצות היותם הרבה,
because the fact that you have many מצות,
אי אפשר שלא יעשה אדם בחייו אחת על מכונתה ושלמותה.
Look at that.
What the רמב״ם is saying isn't that of course you should do all the
מצות,
that's true.
It's true.
But what the רמב״ם is saying is that if you have all lots and
lots and lots of different types of מצות,
there's going to be one that you connect to,
your מצוה,
your baby.
Your babe your precious מצוה,
your golden מצוה,
this is my מצוה,
my מצוה.
ובעשותה אותה מצוה,
and by doing your מצוה,
that one מצוה that you have,
תחיה נפשו באותו מעשה.
You'll revitalize yourself,
you'll give yourself life through that one action.
So it's not that Hashem gave us lots of מצות that we get more
opportunities to do lots of different things.
No,
according to the רמב״ם,
Hashem gave us lots of מצות that everyone can find their מצוה.
Some מצות are בין אדם לחבירו,
some בין אדם למקום.
I remember there was a boy with me in Kerem B'Yavneh in my year.
He loved,
loved,
loved,
loved the פרשיות of the משכן.
Like,
whoa!
And I was like,
again,
we're measuring like how many אמות each piece of wood is?
Another whole פרשה doing the same thing again?
Like why is it so important to measure each thing exactly where it was?
But he loved it!
I don't know what happened to him,
but I imagine that he went on to be an architect.
That was his like way of thinking.
He loved the math.
He loved putting it together.
He was like really excited about it.
So I was thinking to myself afterwards when I read this רמב״ם,
I thought like okay,
that's why.
I get it.
The משכן is his מצוה,
you know?
Hashem gave him a architectural type of מצוה to give him his חלק,
that he can have his area.
And everyone has a different מצוה they connect to.
I remember also,
not that same boy,
but someone else,
was very,
very mathy,
a very mathy type of person.
And there there's a professor,
his name has slipped my mind for a second,
but in parentheses,
if anyone knows him,
he's the uncle,
oh,
Moshe Koppel.
Does anyone know?
Rabbi Professor Moshe Koppel,
he's the uncle of Schmidtman.
Anyway,
so he he wrote a commentary on מסכת קנים על פי math.
And you need it,
because if you ever tried to learn קנים,
it's very,
very complex of like which קרבן she brought and she meant to bring and
she didn't bring,
and which mistake the כהן made,
and which wrong thing was brought,
and if it would have been the calculations that go on there,
they're crazy!
So he wrote a whole ספר,
a whole ספר on מסכת קנים according to math.
And there were a couple of guys with me in Kerem B'Yavneh who were
really,
really mathy and they loved this book by Rabbi Moshe Rabbi Professor Moshe Koppel,
and that was like their entry to יידישקייט,
you know,
for them.
It was like their this is why I love Judaism,
because it's like math!
I was like,
really?
Like that's your connection?
Everyone has their special מצוה.
So the advice that the רמב״ם is alluding to,
and that we're giving,
is to have your מצוה,
to create your own מצוה.
Before we spoke about having your own phrase that's your unique phrase that when
you're feeling you're being dragged away,
you're able to hold onto.
And now we have another idea:
have your special מצוה,
says the רמב״ם.
The language of the רמב״ם:
באותו מצוה תחיה נפשו.
Through having your special מצוה...
So let's say we have a person who decides he's going to wear תכלת.
But he doesn't just decide he's going to wear תכלת,
he learns about תכלת and how many different types of תכלת,
and how many different ways of tying,
and he knows every שיטה,
and he's wearing them,
and he's convincing other people to wear them,
and like this is his whole חיות,
his whole חיות.
It's what gives him vitality,
the תכלת!
So for him,
that became his entry point.
If we spoke about someone who's going down a stream and he's being swept
away,
and you need a live branch to hold onto,
for him,
his מצוה,
his תכלת is what holds onto.
That's what gives him the ability to hold onto.
So choose a מצוה.
Choose a מצוה that you like,
that you enjoy.
I'll add on,
you could also choose a ספר.
If you have a particular ספר that inspires you,
you have your ספר that you love.
Your go-to ספר that you always enjoy and that you always feel like,
you know what gives me חיות?
That ספר,
that gives me חיות.
So whether it's a מצוה,
whether it's a ספר,
and then you have,
it could be a רבי also,
a רבי,
like someone who you like you associate with יידישקייט,
and you associate with with with the connection to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
but you have some מצוה- Torah-connected concept.
Whether it's a מצוה that you do,
or whether it's a ספר that you learn,
or whether it's a רבי that you learn by,
and you say like,
this for me is my portal to Judaism,
my portal to הקדוש ברוך הוא.
It's my strength.
It's my anchor.
And when I feel myself being swept away and I don't know who I
am,
like the גמרא in נדרים said,
בשעת יצר הרע לית דמדכר ליה ליצר טוב.
You can't remember the יצר טוב,
there's no good,
there's no good,
I have no good in me,
there's nothing left in me,
not an ounce of good,
I'm just being swept away.
You say,
"Yeah,
but I wear תכלת.
Yeah,
but I eat שמורה מצה.
Yeah,
but I learn in the שיעור of the שול.
Yeah,
but I listen to the שיעורים of that particular rabbi on that particular podcast,
like,
whoa!"
Whatever it is,
you find your access point that for you gives you a sense of connected
to הקדוש ברוך הוא,
through your particular מצוה you've invested.
It takes work.
It takes work,
not at the time of action,
of lust,
of desire,
your whole אידישקייט,
it takes work.
You have to choose something which is your special מצוה.
It raises you up.
It makes you להבדיל,
but it's like a doctor who learns everything not very well.
He's learned how to be each type of doctor,
but he didn't specialize in anything.
So he's a good doctor,
but when you need someone to operate,
no one's going to call him.
But you have a doctor who chooses one area and he specializes in it,
then he's phenomenal!
Like he knows how to do that very,
very well.
Now he's,
whoa,
famous,
famous guy.
There was once a guy who came to the חזון איש,
and he complained that like he's learned a lot,
but he doesn't feel he knows anything.
So the חזון איש said to him,
"From now on,
משנה ברורה חלק ג is the only thing you're learning."
Said,
"That's the only thing?"
Says,
"No,
not the only thing.
You can go back and look at the גמרא in שבת,
you can go back and look at the טור בית יוסף,
that's it.
משנה ברורה חלק ג and everything to do with it directly.
That's the only thing you're learning."
Says,
"And then what will I learn next?"
"That's it."
"That's it?"
"That's it!"
"That's it?"
"Okay,
שנים מקרא ואחד תרגום.
Okay."
And this guy started learning,
year in and year out,
year in and year out,
הלכות שבת.
הלכות שבת,
again,
again,
again,
and again.
He wrote a ספר on הלכות שבת.
He became an address of הלכות שבת questions,
because everyone know like who knows הלכות שבת?
He knows הלכות שבת!
Like he's the guy,
go to him!
And that gave him חיות,
it gave him vitality,
it gave him a connection to Judaism.
He had felt worn out from learning תורה,
he felt like he didn't know anything because he's just learning and learning,
learning and not knowing anything.
And suddenly he had a baby.
הלכות שבת became his baby,
that became his entry point,
that became his portal,
that became his anchor to הקדוש ברוך הוא.
Anytime he I don't know this,
I'm adding this on,
but anytime he would have a יצר הרע let let's not say if he
would ever have a יצר הרע to do a bad thing,
one could assume that he would say הלכות שבת,
חלק ג!
Like and that would give him that strength,
that's what built him,
it's what raised him up,
it's what made him who he is!
He believes himself to be a צדיק through this!
So now he's strong.
He's able to be strong because he has that מצוה.
And on that point,
I want to give one more amazing source.
במדבר רבה:
לא תתורו אחרי לבבכם,
so this is really our topic,
שמירת עיניים,
not looking at inappropriate scenes,
למען תזכרו למען תזכרו ועשיתם את כל מצותי.
משל לאחד מושלך לתוך הים,
exactly what we're talking about,
there was a person who was thrown into the sea and he was drowning,
במדבר רבה יז:ו.
There was a person who was thrown into the sea and he was drowning,
הושיט הקברניט את החבל,
so the captain of the ship threw over a rope,
ואמר לו תפוס,
and he said,
"Grab on!"
ואל תניחהו,
"Don't let go!"
שאם תניחהו אין לך חיים,
"If you let go of this rope,
you're not going to have life."
The guy's drowning in his desires,
and he's drowning,
and he's sent a rope.
And they say to him,
"Hold on to this rope,
let this rope be your anchor,
and you'll have life."
כך אמר הקדוש ברוך הוא לישראל,
כל זמן שאתם מדובקים במצות,
whenever you are attached to the מצוות,
אתם דבקים בה' אלקיכם חיים כולכם היום,
you'll have life.
What does it mean to be attached to the מצוות?
It doesn't mean you just do the מצוות.
Attached to the מצוות means that you've formed a special bond,
you've connected to the מצוה,
you have a מצוה which is your מצוה,
you've connected to it,
you've learned it,
you've taken on חומרות in it,
you've given שיעורים about it.
Anytime there's any opportunity to discuss it,
you bring up your special מצוה again because you love talking about it.
It's your point,
it's your baby,
it's your anchor.
כך הוא אומר במשלי:
החזק במוסר ואל תרף כי היא חייך.
אמר הקדוש ברוך הוא לישראל,
בעולם הזה על ידי יצר הרע אתם פורשים מן המצות,
in this world because of the יצר הרע,
you're separating yourself from the מצוות,
לעתיד לבא אני עוקר עוקרו מכם,
in the future I'm going to uproot him.
How?
Through you holding on to the מצוות.
So,
I'm saying like literally,
literally,
literally,
you can hold on to your ציצית,
literally.
Like you have a temptation,
you have a desire,
hold on to your ציצית.
Make it an anchor.
That's what חז״ל are saying what the מצוה of ציצית is for:
לא תתורו אחרי לבבכם,
to have these strings.
We're drowning in the sea,
and this is the rope that was sent down into the sea for us
to hold onto.
And everyone knows the stories of the person who was going over seven seas
and paying a lot of money to go to a prostitute,
and when he eventually gets there,
what stopped him?
The ציצית flicked in his face,
and he remembered הקדוש ברוך הוא.
The ציצית are our anchor,
they're what bring us back.
So we're speaking about when you're overwhelmed with desire,
you need to create your own anchor.
The first point that we mentioned was finding what your weak spot is,
and then making an anti-phrase,
a flip phrase,
which the place where you're being chiseled away,
you're going to give yourself strength by saying the opposite phrase,
and if there's some משא ומתן because it doesn't agree with you,
you have to strengthen that too until you get a phrase which you say,
"I can say that with belief."
You say that phrase to yourself again,
and again,
and again,
and again,
it becomes an anchor for you,
you're being swept away,
you have your phrase,
which is not just a phrase,
but it's a phrase which underlying that phrase is a belief which is empowering
you.
That was point number one.
Point number two is a מצוה that you have an affinity for,
if you don't have one,
create one,
have a ספר that you learn that inspires you,
and remember that ספר.
When you're being swept away,
you say עלי שור,
you say מסילת ישרים,
you say משנה ברורה חלק ג׳,
you say some complicated ספר on on on maths of ספר קינים,
like whatever it is,
you have your ספר,
or you have a רבי,
that you look at that רבי,
and that there's a strong,
positive association,
that רבי believes in me,
I think of him,
I think of his שיעורים,
and that gives me the strength.
And the third type of anchor is a physical anchor.
Story of יוסף הצדיק.
ויהי כהיום הזה ויבא ביתה הביתה לעשות מלאכתו.
The day came when יוסף came to do his work.
מלמד ששניהם לדבר עבירה נתכוונו.
רב יוחנן says that day he came to sin.
So here's a צדיק who decided to sin.
You'll tell me it's a מחלוקת,
you're right.
רב ושמואל,
חד אמר לעשות מלאכתו ממש,
חד אמר לעשות צרכיו נכנס.
According to one according to רב יוחנן he came to sin,
according to רב ושמואל,
one of them say he came to sin.
So here's a צדיק who according to one opinion came to sin.
Is he a צדיק or not?
He's still a צדיק,
because we defined earlier the definition of a צדיק is someone who can hold
back when the temptation comes.
He hadn't sinned yet,
he's still going strong.
ואין איש מאנשי בית.
There was no one around.
Everyone else left,
and they left יוסף by himself in the house.
ותתפשהו בבגדו,
and she grabbed hold of his garment.
באותה שעה,
באתה דיוקנו של אביו ונראתה לו בחלון ואמר לו יוסף,
עתידין אחיך שיכתבו על אבני אפוד ואתה ביניהם,
רצונך שימחה שמך מביניהם?
He had an image of his father as someone who believed in him so
deeply that when he came to sin,
it was obvious to him,
"My father's with me,
my father believes in me,
I can hold strong."
He didn't just see the image of his father.
What did he hear his father say?
"I still believe in you.
Your name is still engraved on the אפוד."
So listen to what's being said here,
and this is very important.
People say,
"I have a temptation,
why am I having this thought?
I must be like not good.
This already proves that I'm a רשע.
The fact that I'm thinking this thought already proves I'm a רשע."
And then they start going to do the action.
They go to their bedroom,
they go to a bathroom,
they go somewhere they're going to do an action.
So now they're a רשע גמור,
so they say.
But that's not what the גמרא in סוטה דף ל״ו says.
Because יוסף הצדיק,
who is still called the צדיק,
he had already decided to do a sin,
and just to make it a little bit stronger,
the מדרש תנחומא says נשארה היא והוא עמו בבית ועלה עמה למיטה.
That's what the מדרש תנחומא says.
He already entered the bed.
So look at this,
to give yourself strength at a time when it's challenging and the self-esteem is
being chiseled and chiseled and chiseled away:
יוסף had decided to do a sin,
and he'd already begun doing the sin.
He'd already entered the bed together with her.
He's still not considered a רשע.
His father comes to him in an image and says to him,
"Your name is still engraved on the אפוד.
Even now,
you're still a צדיק."
It doesn't make a difference that you desire sin,
it doesn't make a difference that you begin the action of doing the sin,
you're still a צדיק!
You still can grab hold onto the anchor.
It's not too late.
You know that phrase that the יצר הרע says?
"You started,
so you should finish.
You've already begun,
so just continue.
It's already happening,
so just let it happen."
There was a there was a show that I used to watch when I
was a kid.
Yes.
I used to watch shows when I was a kid.
There was a show I used to watch when I was a kid,
which the way the show worked was that they would ask questions,
it was a quiz,
and the person asking the question,
he would ask questions,
and you had to answer,
and then he would ask another question,
you have to answer,
and there was a minute,
and it was how the more questions you could get in within that minute
and the more points you got.
So people were answering quickly,
rapidly fire,
question,
answer,
question,
answer,
question,
answer,
question,
answer.
And then there was a buzzer that went.
And if the buzzer went,
and the guy was talking,
then זהו,
he is allowed to finish,
then he,
then he finishes.
But if the buzzer went when the questioner was still asking,
then he had this line he would say,
"I've started,
so I'll finish."
That was his line that he would say.
So he was allowed to finish his question,
and the guy was allowed to answer because he started the question during the
question.
That line is the יצר הרע in a British accent:
"I've started,
so I'll finish."
The יצר הרע says to you,
he says to him,
"You've begun,
you can't stop now.
You can't stop now.
Do you know how embarrassing it is to turn away now,
like in the middle,
you've already begun it?
You can't go back now.
You're already enjoying it,
you've already started,
you can't stop now," says the יצר הרע.
But the גמרא says it's not true.
The גמרא says even if you've thought to do the action,
and you've begun doing the action,
he entered the bed,
it's not too late.
It's not too late.
The image of your father comes and says to you,
"Your name is still engraved in the אפוד.
I still believe in you,
you're still a צדיק!
רוצה אתה שיימחה שמך מביניהם?"
So the trick of the יצר הרע is he says to you,
"You're already a goner.
It's already passed,
it's too late."
And when you think,
"Well,
I'm already there,
so then I'll just carry on."
But the תורה's's view is not like that way.
The תורה's's view is,
"You're still a צדיק.
You're still written on the אפוד.
Do you want to erase your name?"
"Oh,
I'm not sure if I want to erase my name."
You know,
a very interesting study they did in another country in Europe,
oh it'll come to me in a second,
where,
do you donate limbs after death?
Yeah,
that's the question,
do they?
So some countries,
most countries I think,
the default is that you don't unless you sign a card and you say
that you do.
I think it's Denmark.
It was Denmark,
that's it!
Thank you.
How did you know that?
Denmark.
The default is that you don't unless you sign a card that you do.
That's the default.
But Denmark,
they had such a low rate of people signing up and they didn't have
enough limbs,
so they switched the law.
They said,
very simple,
the default is that you donate limbs.
Anyone who doesn't want to,
you can opt out.
So,
in theory,
it's the same.
It's exactly the same.
You choose yes or you choose no.
But the rate,
you remember the numbers?
No,
I don't remember the numbers.
But the rates were,
and I'm going to make up numbers now,
but the rates were that in countries where you have to sign in,
it's way below 50%.
I don't remember exactly what it was,
but it was way below 50% of people who volunteered to give limbs.
You can look it up afterwards and let me know.
But in Denmark,
it's like in the 80,
90% of people who donate limbs because you have to opt out.
Because most people don't think.
Most people go with the flow.
Most people on a weighty question like donating limbs,
they say,
"I don't know if I can judge such a question for myself,
I'm not sure.
I'll just do whatever the default is."
And that's the יצר הרע's's ploy,
that he says to you,
"You've already opted in.
You've already decided to do it.
The thought is already going.
You've already entered the bed!
It's already happening!
It's the default.
You're going to opt out now?
You can't opt out now!
Only people in Denmark opt out now!
You can't do that!"
Comes along the גמרא in סוטה and says,
"No,
no,
no,
no.
You're a צדיק,
innocent until proven guilty.
Your name is always written on the אפוד.
Wait,
do you want to erase your name?
Can you sign this document saying,
'I,
behold I am a רשע,
signed over here.
My name was in the book of צדיקים.'
Do you want to come physically and erase your name?"
"No,
I'm not going to do that!
I'm not going to erase my name from the צדיקים."
That's what it is.
I don't care that you've entered the bed,
I don't care that you've thought to do the sin,
it doesn't make a difference.
You're still a צדיק.
That was all connected to point two,
the last point,
about having a צדיק who you see believes in you,
holds highly of you.
You have the vision of the צדיק.
And when you see that someone who believes in you and trusts in you,
he becomes an anchor for you that you think of him,
"My רבי,
my רבי.
He believes in me,
he trusted in me.
I would never do this in front of him.
He would still believe in me even now and give me חיזוק."
That was point number two.
Why did I bring the גמרא in סוטה?
That was a good point and I'm adding an additional point.
The גמרא continues and says,
נעץ ידו בקרקע,
he clenched his fingers in the ground.
Says רש״י,
why did he do that?
Why did he clench his fingers in the ground?
Says רש״י there in the גמרא in סוטה,
נסמך עליהן כדי שיתעצב ויתרד בצערו ויעבור תוקף יצרו.
He got involved in something where he was clenching his fingers tight so that
he would have something to hold on to.
It's an anchor,
a physical anchor!
"I need something to do,
I need something to hold on to,
to keep me strong.
I tried thinking of a thought,
it was good.
I thought of the מצוה that I do,
it's good,
but I also need something physical!"
He did both.
"I also need something physical!"
He held on to the ground tight.
Says the רש״י מפורש:
ויטרד בצערו,
and he got involved in what he was doing with the clenching of the
fingers,
ויעבור תוקף יצרו.
The same story happens in the גמרא in קידושין,
with the famous story of רבי עמרם חסידא,
who he was running up a ladder which was too heavy for him to
move,
to get to the girls who'd been captured,
to sin with them,
and he caught himself on the way.
There's this window of grace.
You know the window of grace?
The יצר הרע attacks you,
and it's overwhelming,
and you feel like you can't say no,
and then there's a window of grace,
a moment of clarity,
where you catch yourself,
and you say,
"Wait,
this isn't right.
This is the wrong thing to do."
What do you do at that moment of grace?
This is your key to success.
This is your key to withholding against the temptation of the יצר הרע.
When that window of opportunity,
a moment of grace comes your way,
if you have an anchor,
then you can say,
"Stop!
Stop!"
That anchor,
you're able to insert your פסוק:
גם זה יעבור.
You're able to insert your encouraging phrase:
"You're doing your job,
but I'm going to do mine!"
You You say your phrase,
you just say with strength,
"I can,
and I will.
It's only temporary.
I'm holding on.
I'm strong.
I'm strong!
חזק!"
You have that window where you can say your line,
or you could think of your מצוה:
"Ay,
שמורה מצות!"
Whatever it is that you choose.
Or your ספר,
or your צדיק.
Or you could do something physical,
and just grab hold of something.
Notice where that window comes in.
It's an opportunity,
don't miss it.
If you missed it,
maybe Hashem will give you another chance,
to stop a minute later,
a second later.
But when He gives you that chance,
grab hold of it.
Throw in your anchor.
It's seeing the river,
seeing the branch,
being swept away,
you see the branch,
you grab on!
If you missed it,
don't give up then.
There's another branch,
grab on that one.
But don't assume there's going to be another one later on,
grab on to the first one that comes your way.
So רב עמרם חסידא,
he did the same thing.
The גמרא says,
it's a word which I didn't know what this word meant,
and I needed רש״י׳s help,
it says he was climbing up the ladder,
איפשח רמא.
Does anyone know what that word means?
איפשח?
I didn't know what it meant,
I looked at רש״י.
איפשח:
הרחיב רגליו לעמוד במקומו בחוזקה להתגבר על יצרו.
So there was the two sides of the ladder,
the two pieces of wood.
He pressed his legs against the wood,
and he pressed,
pressed,
pressed,
pressed,
pressed.
Exactly the same as יוסף הצדיק who was clenching,
clenching,
clenching,
clenching,
so he was pressing,
pressing,
pressing against the side.
Three types of anchor.
Anchor number one:
you have your catchphrase,
your mantra.
When you're being overwhelmed,
you notice the window of opportunity,
you see it's happening,
you're being swept away,
you grab on to the phrase.
Not just any phrase,
but a phrase that you know that is exactly the counter to your weak
spot.
Anchor number two:
create a מצוה,
like the רמב״ם said,
which is your special מצוה.
It's going to give you strength at that time because it makes you feel,
"I'm a צדיק."
It gives you an entry point to being self-defined as a צדיק.
Just like רבי יוחנן was called a צדיק,
because he was able to restrain.
Just like יוסף הצדיק was a צדיק,
because even though the גמרא continues and says the שכבת זרע came out,
שכבת זרע did come out.
So he chose to sin,
he went into the bed,
and eventually זרע did come out.
But because he held strong and didn't do the act of sinning,
he still remains a צדיק.
And he's our model.
He's our model that someone can be that great,
that great,
and have the desire to sin,
and still have the willpower to say no.
The final thing יוסף הצדיק did was escape:
מיד וינס ויצא החוצה.
You have a device,
it's causing you to stumble,
get rid of the device.
Put it out of reach,
turn it off.
Don't remain in a situation which is challenging.
Have an anchor which is going to hold you strong in your time of
challenge.
One more thought that I just wanted to quote to finish off:
there's a beautiful מדרש in בראשית רבה that tells the following story:
There was a road,
and on that road there was a ליסטים מזויין,
an armed bandit,
who'd sit on that road,
and he would attack people who were walking past.
But he was שפוף,
he was lame.
He wasn't able to walk!
So he would sit on the side of the road,
and people would come and walk past,
and he would shout at them and he would say,
"Stop,
or I'll kill you!"
And they would say,
"Ooh,
he's going to kill me!"
And this lame guy is sitting on the side of the road with his
sword,
just sitting there with his sword,
attacking people and saying,
"Stop,
or I'll kill you!"
And they're getting all scared.
And then he would say,
"Give me all your money!
money,
or I'll kill you!"
They said,
"Okay,
okay,
okay!"
And they would just go and give him all their money.
And he would say,
"Okay,
you can go!"
And then they would go.
And he did it again,
and again,
and again.
It sounds so foolish.
Who are these fools who are being held up by this lame bandit who
couldn't even chase after them or kill them?
עבר פיקח אחד.
Suddenly,
a wise person came by.
וראה שאין בו תוחלת,
לגזול בו כלום.
And he saw that this lame bandit doesn't have the ability to harm him
at all.
התחיל מחתתו.
He started beating him,
hitting him.
"You don't have any power over me.
You can't harm me!"
כך כמה דורות איבד יצר הרע דור אנוש.
Generation after generation,
the יצר הרע attacked and killed:
אנוש,
הפלגה,
מבול,
עד שעמד אברהם אבינו,
וראה שאין בו תוחלת.
אברהם אבינו came and saw the יצר הרע doesn't have any control over me.
I'm stronger than him,
he's not stronger than me.
He can only harm me if I empower him.
If I listen to what he's saying,
and believe what he's saying,
and give him strength,
then he has strength.
But if I don't believe what he's saying,
and I don't empower him,
he has no strength over me.
אברהם אבינו saw the bandit as being lame.
He doesn't have any strength over me.
He can't control me.
אברהם אבינו beat the יצר הרע.
ואם תאמר שאינו ברשותך,
and if you say,
"Okay,
אברהם אבינו,
very good,
but me,
the יצר הרע is so strong that he controls me.
I can't stop him.
The יצר הרע is overwhelming force for me.
It's like a little boy trying to stop an entire tank when he comes
against me.
The יצר הרע is so strong,
I can't beat him.
He's not lame.
My יצר הרע is very able-bodied,
very strong."
If you'll say that,
אם תאמר שאינו ברשותך,
כבר הכתבתי לך בתורה,
says Hashem,
"I've already written for you in the תורה,
ואליך תשוקתו,
ואתה תמשל בו.
You have the power to control him."
So this source,
בראשית רבה כ״ב ו׳,
gives us the inner belief the יצר הרע doesn't have control over us.
He puts thoughts into our minds,
and those are suggestions,
they're thoughts.
You don't have to accept them.
You can take that thought,
like we spoke about at the beginning,
and you can say,
"It's just a thought.
It's not true.
I can find the opposite thought,
think the opposite thought,
and I can beat him.
I can beat the יצר הרע."
His thought is only a suggestion.
It's him sitting there on the ground saying,
"I'm going to kill you!
I'm going to kill you!"
And if I believe him,
and I say,
"He's right,
I can't handle this anymore.
He's right,
this is overwhelming.
He's right,
this is too much.
He's right,
I have to give in.
I've started,
I have to finish.
He's right,
I feel so bad about myself,
I need something to cheer me up and make me feel worthwhile.
I need this."
If you accept his suggestion,
like the lame bandit is saying to you,
"You have to give me your money or I'll kill you," then you'll give
him your money.
You'll sell him your soul.
But if you are like אברהם אבינו and you're a פיקח,
and you realize I'm the one empowering him,
he doesn't have any power over me,
אתה תמשל בו,
it says in the פסוק.
If he has power,
it's only because I'm believing what he's saying.
It's only because I'm enabling him,
I'm empowering him.
But I I have a point of connection to Hashem.
I have my מצוה.
I have my ספר.
I have my רבי that I know rises me above this guy.
He doesn't have any control over me.
I have control over him,
because I'm connected to Hashem.
And I have an entry point to remember that,
because sometimes I forget it.
I have my entry point.
I have an anchor that reminds me.
And if the worst comes to the worst,
then I just hold on.
Physically,
if a person's about to do שחת זרע לבטלה,
and he just does this,
and he just clenches his fingers together very,
very tightly,
exactly what Rashi says,
word for word,
נסמך עליהם כדי שיתעצב ויתרד בצערו ויעבור תוקף יצרו.
Just hold on to your hands.
Don't let them be involved in anything else.
And that's an anchor.
It's a physical anchor.
So we have a verbal anchor,
we have a מצוה anchor,
and we which is a conceptual one,
we have a verbal anchor,
we have a conceptual מצוה anchor,
and we have a physical anchor.
Those are the three anchors.
When you're being swept downstream,
you have to know what to hold on to.
You have to prepare it ahead of time.
If you've created your verbal anchor,
and if you have your מצוה conceptual anchor,
and you have some action that you know that you do,
like like this,
or make your own one,
but that's just an example of one that you don't need anything else for,
you can just do it,
your your physical anchor that you have,
then when that window of opportunity comes,
and you say,
"I don't want to do this,
but how can I stop?",
you have what to say,
you have what to think,
you have what to do.
בהצלחה.