U in the Ring

In this episode, Zia talks to fellow CFUV volunteer Lindani. They speak to their experiences as international students from the Philippines and South Africa, obstacles they've had to face studying during COVID, and their experiences being racialized in Victoria. They speak to the differing and intersecting experiences among international students, the ignorance international students face, and the expectations versus reality of moving to Canada as immigrants.

Show Notes

In this episode, Zia talks to fellow CFUV volunteer Lindani. They speak to their experiences as international students from the Philippines and South Africa, obstacles they've had to face studying during COVID, and their experiences being racialized in Victoria. They speak to the differing and intersecting experiences among international students, the ignorance international students face, and the expectations versus reality of moving to Canada as immigrants. "

Guest featured in this episode:
Lindani Khoza (@danetheambitious)"

What is U in the Ring?

U in the Ring goes deep into issues at UVic, and investigates stories like the infamous bunny cull of 2012, the evolution of territorial acknowledgements on campus, and a crime that affected over 11,000 people at UVic.

Lindani 0:00
Since then, you know, this man just said to me, Well, I mean, you're here now, maybe you should just like, try harder to blend in. And that, that got me thinking, you know, is one here to blend in? Or was one here to stand out?

Zia Regino 0:12
Like why should you minimize yourself or have to act differently? Just to feel like more comfortable or safe? You know,

Lindani 0:20
you know, or to make someone else feel more comfortable or safe? That's not my responsibility. I mean, if short, if that is my responsibility, is it not theirs to

Zia Regino 0:29
welcome to you enduring a podcast that goes deep into issues at the University of Victoria. I'm Zerah. Hino, and I'm your host for you in the ring.

Land Acknowledgment PSA 0:40
It's quite honestly, it's Nick here, and you're listening to CFUV. One Oh, 1.9 FM broadcasting from the traditional territories of the songhees, Esquimalt, and sinach people.

Zia Regino 1:08
Over 3000, international students from more than 100 countries choose Ubik. Each year, as an international student from the Philippines myself, I know how lucky I am to be able to study in a different country. However, the experience of living abroad isn't always what you imagined it to be. You're faced with a completely different culture and way of life. And as much as you think you have prepared for an experience like this, there's only so much you can know from online research, most international students end up choosing a university that they have never even visited in person, and just have to hope that they've made the right choice. Along with having to deal with immigration, study permits and visas, it can be hard to move to a place where you have no community that's familiar to you. Obviously, it isn't the same for every international student. So I was curious to hear what it was like for others to move to Canada for university. So I sat down with a fellow international student to talk about our experiences.

Lindani 2:04
Hello, my name is Linda Annie. I am from South Africa. I'm an international student from South Africa here at UVic. studying economics and music coming to the end of my second year, I use the pronouns he him and I am happy to be here.

Zia Regino 2:19
Can you describe your experience as a student at UVic? And kind of share your story and what brought you here? Sure.

Lindani 2:25
So I, I enrolled in UVic, at the end of 2020. So that was mid pandemic. So I didn't actually get to move to Victoria and kind of experience campus life until around about mid 2021. Summer 2021. So I suppose the experience has kind of been broken into pieces where I'm studying at the school, but I haven't really understood what it's like to be there. Yeah, I think the move to, to, to, to have come from so far away. So I've moved from South Africa, as well, was definitely a big one. And it comes with its expectations, you're not really sure what you're getting into. But at the same time, like those expectations did not come to pass. Like I could not have been more wrong about what I was going to expect. I expected this like huge Utopia just advanced in every single aspect. But it really wasn't the case. In fact, I would say that I found a lot of things here that were quite familiar, which surprised me. But all in all, I think the experience has been one one heck of a ride. It's been up and down in certain places. But uh, I think just to be able to go home and to tell of this story, it's something that yeah, it's a story to tell. That's one thing I can say. For sure.

Zia Regino 3:50
So you started online store your first year with online? Yeah, I started first year online. And then your second year was in person. So this recent September? Yeah. Okay, this reason September was my first time here in Canada. In Canada. Yeah. Okay. So did you grow up in South Africa? Your whole life? Yep. Pretty much. And then you went to Canada for university? Yep. From your family members. Are you the first one to study abroad?

Lindani 4:14
Not the first one to study abroad. But the first one to be this far away? Yeah, I have an older brother who studied in the United States in Iowa. So yeah, conflicting experiences, but I think it's what led me here really?

Zia Regino 4:29
Is he older or younger? Older? Okay. What's his his moved to the States without an influence at all to you move into Canada or?

Lindani 4:39
Um, definitely, I think throughout high school, we just knew that we were going to study abroad from the get go. The question was where I think his experience in the United States definitely prompted me not to go there. Just because he did not have a great time. And so when it came to making the decision to come here, there were a couple of teachers that I had one or two who were from Canada, one who actually lives in Nanaimo right now. And he said, You know, I think the Canadian experience would be just a little bit better there was there is this general perception of Canada being a more welcoming, inclusive and diverse space. So it definitely prompted me to consider Canada. As for Victoria. There were a couple of options that I had in Toronto and in Vancouver, but I don't know if something in my gut just hold brought you to Victoria. Yeah, go to the island. Go to an island, it might be a little bit different than Big City Life here. I come from Johannesburg. I live in Johannesburg. And Johannesburg is a really big city bustling, like, Metropolitan kind of city. And it can be a bit hectic at times. So I think I decided, You know what, let me just like a smaller city would be better. Yeah. And Victoria is somewhere in the middle.

Zia Regino 5:51
You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's not too small. Not too big. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So

Lindani 5:56
I tried to apply to residents, too, so that I had somewhere to live. When I moved. This was around the end of 2020. Right, I had planned to make the trip. It was around about the time where they had allowed international students to enter if they, you know, had a study permits and everything. So yeah, I was just about ready to make that move, and tried reserving a spot in residence or need to be told that they were prioritizing Canadian students.

Zia Regino 6:20
Which Yeah, it doesn't, at least in my opinion, it makes more sense to prioritize at least like out of province and international students because like, yeah, like, where else are we gonna stay? Especially when you're like, that's the first time you're moving into the country, you know, so hard to find housing. You know?

Lindani 6:39
It was it was a bit it was a bit crazy. I just thought, you know, especially for the study experience. Yeah. Um, for someone who could send, I mean, I knew people who were in my classes who said, Oh, I'm in residence. I said, Oh, where are you from? Like, oh, I live in Victoria. It didn't really quite make sense. The fact that you know, I was, I was in class, which you had to am, like, my time, and you are, you could just go home on a weekend. Yeah. But hey, maybe there's something.

Zia Regino 7:09
Oh, is that why you had to do it online? Because you couldn't get residence? Yeah,

Lindani 7:15
I couldn't, I couldn't come. I just couldn't find a place to stay. Yeah. And the time I was looking for off campus housing wasn't really a time of intake. We just decided, you know, what would be safer to just maybe waits? Until a bit of time, and yeah,

Zia Regino 7:30
he'll Yeah. How was it like for you to do online from there, because when I did online, I honestly barely got to go to class. Because my first class started at like, 11pm. For me, most of my classes are like, 3am 5am, I was lucky that my professors recorded their lectures. So I didn't actually have to go. But for my labs and exams, I had to be like, zoom. Yes. And it was like, my sleep schedule was like all over the place. Whenever I had a midterm, I would have to like, either stay up until 4am, or go to bed early, and then wake up at three. And like, when you're when your sleep schedules like that, your brain is not working well. Yeah. And I was just like, this is really difficult. Yeah. And I'm very tired. Yeah.

Lindani 8:18
Yeah. Super difficult. I did because you're from the Philippines. So how, how far is it? Is that a head or behind that? Yeah, head quite far

Zia Regino 8:26
ahead. I can actually check what time it is right now. So it's 12pm in Vancouver, okay. And it is 3am in Manila.

Lindani 8:34
The next day? Yeah. Good.

Zia Regino 8:38
Yeah, so it'd be really confusing, because even on Brightspace Yeah, I left my computer in the Victoria time, just to make sure that I didn't get the dates wrong, because there'd be times I'm like, oh, that's due like tomorrow. Yeah, like, was due yesterday. I'm like, oh my god, I email my professor. I'm like, I'm so sorry. But a lot of them are super understanding. Yeah, but it was just like having to do that. At least I would like always second guess I'm like, is there an assignment I missing? Or like, is this midterm actually when I think it's gonna be? So I'm like always calculating the time. Yeah, super stressful. Oh, I'm glad I was everything is on in person. Now. I'm enjoying class now.

Lindani 9:18
Yeah, I suppose it kind of makes for great experience when you finally do arrive. Because it's like anything can be better than what it was. I remember just trying to there was a professor and I remember to this day, because she didn't know about my timezone experience until very late in the course. And I just thought, yeah, you know what it is like what she's supposed to do. I was very like it this is just how it is. I got it. I gotta learn to deal with this. And after telling me she said, Oh, wait, so then how far ahead are you said, Oh, 10 hours, she says so it's 2pm. Now what What time is it there for you said? Yeah. It's 4am for me. Oh, yeah, it was something crazy like that. It was. Yeah, horrible time. What was like? Yeah, I think it was like midnight or something at the time when she said, and she said, Hey, that shouldn't be the case. That's not fair. Do you want to take your exam at a time? That's convenient for you? Oh, wow, that's really nice. Okay. Yeah, you know, I think the ones that made that kind of effort made it just a little bit different. Um, and it's definitely something I don't think you really appreciate the gravity of unless you're really living through it. But yeah, I'm so glad to be here.

Zia Regino 10:42
Yeah, I think I honestly felt the same. Like, you didn't really feel comfortable like asking or telling them because you're like, they have so many students. Yeah, they're probably really busy. But then, at least in my experience, when I have like, I've emailed my professor and like, hey, just letting you know, I'm in a different country. There's a time difference. And they'll be like, Yeah, of course. Like, no worries, like, thanks for letting me know. So I think I've been really lucky with my professors. Yeah, I have your all of your professor has been pretty.

Lindani 11:11
Like half I would say 50%. The other half were like, not my problem. Yeah, there's so many of you, whatever it is, there's so many students, you're not the only one. Just come to office hours. If you have any concerns when the time comes. My god.

Zia Regino 11:25
Wow. Okay, well, yeah. And I kind of like the motivates you to? Yeah,

Lindani 11:29
it's like, if you're just gonna send me into office hours, then which I was going to go to anyway. I mean, yeah, we made it work. We made work somehow.

Zia Regino 11:39
Yeah. I was actually wondering, were you able to make friends online? Or did you feel like you only made friends when you came here? Now only made friends? And I came here? Okay. I don't know. Yeah, I felt the same when I was back home. I don't think I made friends with anyone new online, because I was just like, I'm so tired. I don't want to talk to anyone. Yeah, yeah, I would just like talk to the people I knew from first year and be like, Hey, how are you? But a lot of them are not in the same program as me. So yeah, it was kind of hard to make friends online. Just like through zoom, or like maybe like discord, I guess.

Lindani 12:12
Yeah, there's an element, there's a key element of connection that's missing the, in, in the sense where you don't really get to understand who someone is, because they're just like someone on behind the screen or that class seeing you asking questions or contributing to a discussion. And it's usually added to those connections happened often here? I don't know. That's, that's where they started to happen. Because not even under COVID. I think those connections could still happen. Yeah, once one was on the ground. So I think we could we could talk about, we could talk about just the idea behind Canada, and Canada being welcoming, and being diverse and being multicultural. Because I do think that that's true in representation, or at least in population, like you get here.

Zia Regino 13:00
Like the numbers, technically, it is very diverse.

Lindani 13:04
It is, though we have to ask ourselves, how welcoming and inclusive is it's, if you're not actively acting on that diversity, right. So it's one thing to have a bunch of people from a lot of places in your city or in your space, but unless you are actively integrating, and having that cross cultural understanding, and creating opportunities for that cross cultural interaction to happen, then are you really getting the benefit of your diversity? Because I think groups like that I find if you because you can feel a bit isolated and far away, you know, and like an outsider at times, groups like that remind you that, you know, they, they are people from home, it brings you closer to that kind of piece of home, that identity that you share with them, which I think is very important. Because while it's great to be, you know, out of out of your comfort zone, and be in a in a culture and a space that's different to your own. I do think that that needs to be balanced with something that contributes to who you are, and something that's familiar to you. I think an association like that, it gives you an opportunity to not only express your identity, but to have it celebrated in a space with other people, because unfortunately, sometimes that's not just going to happen all the time. And you have to go looking for those opportunities sometimes because they're not going to create themselves. I think, when you're far away from home to have that familiarity, and someone who can say, Ah, don't you just miss this food? So they just get it? Yeah, they just get it and also someone who, if you get frustrated about your time here, you get frustrated about

Zia Regino 14:51
playing and they can get it and they

Lindani 14:52
understand, you know, they understand and say you know the same thing happened to me. Here's what I do to deal with it. So there's a support. Yeah, that kind of support. I just think it's so important. And yes, super empowering as well. I just feel so refreshed afterwards. It's like, Oh, great. Those are my people.

Zia Regino 15:14
Actually, Did you experience any culture shock when you came here? Or? Yeah, a lot was a big,

Lindani 15:19
I didn't know what culture shock was, really, it's not something we talk about very much, or at least I haven't spoken about it. So it had been something I knew was possible. I just didn't know what that really felt like. Culture shock for me, was, I think, getting here. I'm from South Africa. Like, I'm not, I'm so used to seeing black people everywhere. I'm not used to being a minority. So I think that was the biggest thing. And I think when you're living somewhere where you are a minority, and people just in order, at least the majority are used to you being part of a minority. Right? You're not really prepared to deal with the ignorance that may come from it. And you're not really prepared to deal with. I think it's one thing to be ignorant, because I think that this innocent ignorance, you just don't know. Because you don't know how are you going to know

Zia Regino 16:17
if they've never learned it? You're never exposed to it? Yeah, really their fault.

Lindani 16:21
Yeah, you know, you can't. But then there's the ignorance that, you know, that's the case. But then also, now they're presented with the opportunity to learn but will actively resist it. Right. So we'll, we'll we'll say, I'll never forget one of the first experiences that I had, you know, what someone would have been around October. And I was kind of explaining how different it is here. You know, the sun sets very late, and it's cold. And, you know, I am forgetting how to speak my mother tongue. And I'm relaying all these experiences. And you know, this man just said to me, Well, I mean, you're here now, maybe you should just like, try harder to blend in. And that, that got me thinking, you know, is one year to blend in was one year to stand out?

Zia Regino 17:10
Like, why should you minimize yourself or have to act differently? Just to feel like more comfortable or safe? You know,

Lindani 17:18
you know, or to make someone else feel more comfortable or safe? That's not my responsibility? I mean, if short, if that is my responsibility, is it not theirs to? You know? Um, yeah, the culture shock was definitely there's so many things that are just difference just in how lifestyles are different. I think the desires or you know, goals, or just certain standards, what people aspire to do, or to be is very different, as well. You? Yeah, it kind of starts with fascination. It's like, wow, look at all this place, new things. I've never experienced something like this before. And then it kind of plateaus was like, Okay, I'm here. Now, this is where it's at, then you start missing home. And then you know, some things will happen, where your locals will you start to almost resent people from here, and I'm not gonna lie, there was a time I thought, Wow, these guys have silver spoons so far up there, but they just do not understand that there is a whole different world out there. Yeah, this is this is not set in stone. This is just one reality out of a few 1000 will obviously when when with a move like this comes you know, trouble, right? Every now and then it's going to be something that's difficult, be it maybe something horrible happens back home, and you're far away, can't do anything about it. Sometimes you don't even know until like, after the fact or something. I just think I think one of the hardest things about being an international student here is that when you need that kind of support, you know what to say? It's very difficult, that kind of support where someone will understand, to see to kind of look at your experience and be like, that makes sense. This happens to validate it and make you feel like this is not something that's out of the blue or that you're crazy or anything like that. Because if you if you're venting, are you saying oh, well, this is horrible, and someone's looking at you? Like, I can't imagine what that must be like, it's like, yeah, what do you mean, you can't imagine? Like, you can't even like think, like, just, it's like, this must be a human experience. It always is that, you know, I would like to say that, Oh, well, it isn't the case and give the benefit of the doubt. Although sometimes it does feel like that. Were you like definitely The only different one here and it feels like it. I think the fact that it feels like you're like self aware. Yeah, yeah, like hyper focused on it. You can't help but wonder if I go, if I go to this events, or if I go here am I going to be? Is this something I'm going to have to deal with? What you have to ask yourself, How am I going to be perceived in this space. And yeah, I think you get used to it. Good or bad thing. Now No, yeah, but it's a reality. It's it is a reality here. Yeah. Although sometimes situations happen, where suddenly now, it's made apparent, you know, it's no longer just you thinking about it or being self aware. It's now something that has been said, or just implied, you know, I'll never forget a music class I had, where there were, there was, I think, a guest speaker who had come, but was a rapper, right? And was talking about hip hop and just about racial justice in hip hop, and how, you know, and he said something that stood out, he said, I mean, just look at this room. Now, we're talking about inclusive music, but like, look at how, look at the audience, you know, I can't really ask for diversity and perspectives, because probably a lot of you are on the same on the same boat. He guessed accurately, it was like I bet 80% of you are going to music education routes. And of that 80% At least 90% of you started in classical, am I wrong? He said, and people were like, No. And he's like, is there anyone else who has anything different at all? Like, I didn't go that route? I didn't go there. And suddenly, it turns heads, because it's like, oh, okay, cool. And now, off suddenly after that, um, people are asking questions, you know, also, what was it like for you? And there was this this novelty? Almost? Yeah, yeah. You feel like a novelty an exception to the rule? You know, a case study? Oh, here's something different.

Zia Regino 21:40
Do you ever feel like when you've been faced with, like, microaggression, you kind of are expected to be the one that's like passive, like, you're not really allowed to get mad or upset about things?

Lindani 21:54
Yeah, I do anyway. Okay. Like,

Zia Regino 21:57
I should honestly start doing that, too.

Lindani 21:59
I think I just, you see, growing growing up in South Africa, like with that history, we grew up having uncomfortable conversations. That's not something that people hear used to. So I'm very unapologetic about that thing. You know, I'm honest, you know, when that hole when that hole when there was that incident with the professor, I'm not sure if you heard about it. I think it was last semester, who who was taking a class and ended up just like using the N word very freely in class? And yeah,

Zia Regino 22:28
I did not. What was it in your classroom? No, you heard about it,

Lindani 22:31
heard about it. But you know, I think we were having a conversation, I was having a conversation with some, with some classmates about it, you know, and I think I prompted the conversation, I was being very open about it, I was just saying, so, you know, this is how it is. And it's really sad. And they will just the silence, this heavy silence almost almost this unwillingness to say something out of fear that you might say something wrong. But if anything, I think understanding starts from an area of discomfort on for sure. And I it's not something that I found a lot of people who were able to do that, and I think the people I'm closest to are the ones who are willing to get just a little bit uncomfortable to learn something, or to grow, and their perspectives and their identities and just Yeah, it's mainly, it's mainly, I just think that feeling is most present in times where, you know, said, you know, said person, you know, said I, like, individual or group will make it very clear that they're trying to be diverse, right? And you kind of ask yourself, Okay, I really hope you've asked me to, you know, help you out here or speak on your behalf or, you know, sit on this panel, or because I'm, I have something of value to contribute, you know, but if just how I look, or where I come from is something of value, I think that's great. That is definitely something of value. But you kind of want to be celebrated because of who you are the things just what you have to offer. That's what's really empowering, you know, the things that make you you, because when it comes to diversity, if they had gotten three other people from where you came from three other South Africans could speak from that kind of perspective as well, from someone who comes from there. So, but what is it that really makes you stand out as an individual, you would hope that that's why they're calling you to speak or to be part of something or to even lead. But I think I've just told myself that I'm going to, I'm only going to give two spaces when number one I feel like I can contribute. And number two spaces that I feel like I could grow in. I think CFUV is an example of that, because it just puts it puts my passion for arts, music, you know, social justice, right out there, and that's what it's about, you know, and then on top of that, it's like wow, what a diverse community. It is at as well, it's the cherry on top. It makes it better, I think. And yeah, just having the diversity also contributes to making the primary focus or your primary intention that's that much more valuable. So, yeah, recognizing the value and diversity, but then acting on it, I think is what sets you know, the good from the grades.

Zia Regino 25:22
Moving to a new place can be really exciting. Being an international and exchange student can truly be a life changing experience. In no way do we mean to discourage anyone with our criticisms, we just think it's important to be aware of how the allure of travel and a new culture may obscure one from seeing the potential obstacles, especially as a person of color moving to a predominantly white city like Victoria. Even with Canada's reputation as polite and welcoming. You never really know what to expect, and unfortunately, can be surprised with what you have to deal with at times. If you're comfortable sharing, do you have any stories or experiences with microaggressions or racism that you won't really be able to forget?

Lindani 26:07
Absolutely. I had to two that stand out. The first was weird because it happened with a with a with a child must have been I thought my estimation six, seven maybe where I'd hopped on the bus just jumped on the number four headed to school and sat on the top deck in the second row right at the front and this child with her father was seated in their own front. And she looked back at me and she kind of just smiled and started laughing like he like okay, cool. Hi, your your child, cute kid. And she says, you're not supposed to be here. As why? Where am I supposed to be? She's like, you have to go to the bank. And you see a situation like that. God. I thought, Okay, this is a kid. There's no way. But that's awfully specific. I said, Why do I have to go to the back? You can sit here. You have to sit at the back. I thought this. Whoo. I think what shocked me the most is that her father did nothing.

Zia Regino 27:13
Was he listening? Or? Oh, yeah, just watching. Yeah, this.

Lindani 27:17
I mean, she wasn't quiet about it. I think everyone in the bus was like, I look to my right. And the people were like, Oh,

Zia Regino 27:24
yeah. And no one said anything.

Lindani 27:26
No one really said anything. I just I wasn't gonna move to the back. So I carefully explained, I said, I kind of like it here. And I'm going to then she started talking about my hair and like, how she's like, can I grow hair like that? She asked her father and father now had to say something and said, um, maybe if you like, if you don't like Coleman, or like, keep it and that that just Yeah, then I got off the bus. I'm really uncomfortable. But the second was when Omicron was kind of making his rounds and Victoria and I went to go get tested. And at the testing site, there was an old man who I'd wore, I'd been wearing a face mask with the South African flag. And South Africa had been in the news because of it being the hotspot even though it really wasn't if you got down to the research, it was just the people who discovered it. Were there. And old man looked at me so my mask and said, You look what you've done. Look at why have you. This is like you should not be here, you should be at home, you're putting us all at risk.

Zia Regino 28:35
You're the one who brought it here.

Lindani 28:37
I was like, Dude, you know, I haven't been home and like, I've been here, man. I'm just about exposed as you are. And I can't go home. You know, because your government has prevented me from doing so. You know, so if there's anyone who feels in danger, you are the one but the staff were really helpful. This day spoke up, they spoke up. There's no place for that here. You gotta you gotta go. If you want to get tested. There are certain Yeah, I'm welcoming. But I was under no illusion. I'm interested to know if you've heard stories.

Zia Regino 29:15
I think I'm very lucky that I haven't at least like to that extent, I've faced a lot of microaggressions. A lot of that. And I think a part of that is and I think part of it also because like because I'm light skinned. And maybe because I'm a woman, maybe that creates a different experience. Like, maybe I'm like less threatening because I'm small. I'm a woman. You know,

Lindani 29:37
I think the fact that you have to say less threatening. Yeah.

Zia Regino 29:42
I know. I think because I am aware that there have been events that are like a lot worse and people have been treated worse. I'm kind of like, if this is what I have to deal with. I'm kind of okay with it. Which sucks, right? The fact that we kind of have to be like, Oh, it could be worse. So this is fine. You know? Like, we shouldn't have to feel that way. And I don't want to have to feel like I want to have to explain myself to everyone. I mean, absolutely. Yeah. And you don't? Exactly you don't. But that's kind of expected from you when you look different, I suppose.

Lindani 30:21
I say, let them expect. Let them expect and be surprised when it's like, could you? What's it? What's it like? You do you like ride elephants to school? Now nowadays, or just be like your miners named him since I was a wee little boy. I was very much

Zia Regino 30:47
sold a dream. And by recruitment person from UVic. They came

Lindani 30:52
they sent someone who was with UBC to kind of just advocate for West Coast and pn dub. And like, or like, just the space. And while they sold us dreams, they came up with our slideshow presentation, and said, Oh, and showed us photos of everyone smiling. And like a really diverse group of people sitting on the grass studying everything like that. And it's definitely and while I can see that, okay, I can see why you would sensationalized I've kind of seen the what people don't talk about is the other side what we've been speaking about today, really, they don't tell you about that other side. And strangely enough, I think one thing I'm going to do differently to students who I know who did this before me is that I'm not going to be afraid to tell the truth. And just be like, listen, it's great. You're going to learn so much. It's a fantastic experience, you will grow you will love it. But it's going to be hard. But the thing is beautiful. And perhaps because it's difficult. So very difficult.

Zia Regino 31:58
In a way, do you, you kind of feel betrayed by those people. Kind of like you told me it was gonna be diverse. Where are the diverse people?

Lindani 32:08
Oh, I want to go back and bring a whole bunch of people. Yeah, you should you be the recruit for your bank? Yeah, just yeah, just come and take over. Yeah, super. I'm not I don't feel betrayed. I don't feel betrayed. I just think that

Zia Regino 32:25
maybe like a false sense of reality. Yeah,

Lindani 32:28
I think I was just very naive. I think we will. I mean,

Zia Regino 32:31
like, Yeah, I mean, like, we're excited to kind of move out of the country who will experience especially like, with how the western world is kind of represented in media. You kind of like all you have so much to look forward to. And you're here and it's like, oh, it's kind of not really what I was expecting. Not that it's super bad. Yeah, but they definitely like glamorize it. Yeah.

Lindani 32:53
It's yeah. It's glamorized. Definitely. That was definitely through rose colored glasses. I looked at this place and thought, oh, it's gonna be great. And I'm gonna travel or do road trips on the West Coast.

Zia Regino 33:06
And you're like, are we? Canada's huge? It's so expensive to like travel? I don't have a car. Yeah,

Lindani 33:13
I need a job. And all of this while still trying to maintain, you know, like, your studies on top of that, as well. It's, it's, I don't know, piece of me, half of me is here to study the other half museum trying to build a life. For sure. I'm sorts, because you really came here, you left your life behind. If anything, you came here and used to I'm not the same guy I was two years ago.

Zia Regino 33:39
I agree. Did you feel like you were not able to grow as much at home? Like, did you kind of feel like, maybe if there's like, judgment from the people close to you, or just like the culture, it's kind of like closed off or like narrow minded? Because at least from back home, people are kind of always in each other's business. I never felt super free to express myself fully without making other people uncomfortable. Yeah, yeah. And that was a very restricting environment. Not that I hate the Philippines or I hate the culture. I hate the people around me. Like, I think also, it's maybe if you live somewhere in the same place your whole life, people have expectations on who you are. And there's no room to change from that. So like coming here. It's like fresh start. I didn't know anyone here. So I was able to be whoever I want it to be. Which is so refreshing. Yeah. Like I was just so ready to leave, where I really wasn't thinking about all of the bad things that could happen from the move. Because I was very optimistic, but in a way it was kind of rose colored. Because when you face those situations, and you're reminded and you're like put in your place of like, where you're from, and you realize how different you are. You kind of like ah, I have to deal with this. Yeah.

Lindani 34:59
I definitely along the lines of if you weren't doing going a certain routes, like there's just this Invisible Hand that kind of says, Oh, well, this is what a successful person in this generation looks like, this is what they ought to do. And very early, I realized that wait, hold on, why? This? Just don't feel like

Zia Regino 35:21
one of you don't want to do that. Yeah. What would you like? Well, if

Lindani 35:24
you want to be successful, this is what you ought to do. I'm like, Nah, I'm good. You know, it's bad. I don't know if it's still the case. But at least a couple of years ago, like 10 years ago, something that was very much the case, the schooling system was coming out apart, like apartheid. And that system. While it ended, there were certain things that were part of the system that didn't really change, the main one being like the schooling, and especially what's what was considered to be prestigious schooling. And they're very whitewashed, and that kind of, you have to be your favorite sport needs to be rugby. You need to want to go into politics, economics, and philosophy, or these are the acceptable things, and you need to fit this mold. And I just didn't fit any of these molds. You know, I was coming out. I was like, Oh, well, I am definitely not jumping into rugby. And I want to make music. And they're like, no, not happening. So I left, I said, Okay, I'll go find somewhere else. And that is, I think the greatest thing about here, I think, when there's no expectation on YouTube be something that you know, is native to the place, when you kind of expect it to be different. There's so much more that you can bring to the table. And you're more free to, to just be you in that sense. Um, yeah, it you I wish I was able to do that at home.

Zia Regino 36:46
Yeah, honestly, say I, I really love my country. And I would love to live there, in the same way that I am myself here. But because of that barrier, it makes me not really want to move home. And having to face that reality of like, It like makes me feel like I'm like turning my back on my country. Because I'm like, I realize how lucky I am. And a lot of people are not able to afford this opportunity to move abroad. Yeah, sometimes I don't feel guilty. But sometimes I'm like, do I deserve this opportunity like over all these other people who are maybe like, more talented or more smart? And in a way that is imposter syndrome? But it's just like, how am I any different from all those people, and I was just born lucky, and went into a family that was able to afford moving abroad. And it's just like, if I wasn't able to get this opportunity, and I have to stay home. I feel like I'd be so miserable. Yep. Yeah. And I every single day when I wake up here, it's just like a habit. I'm just like, I'm so grateful to be here.

Lindani 38:03
Yeah. Some of our souls are born elsewhere. Exactly. Without Borders, I guess. Yeah. And we just got to take them there and find it. But it's empowering. There's value in it. I think, to the audience, I think I'd really say that. When it comes to diversity, I think the big takeaway for me, from what we've been speaking about is that diversity needs to be active, it can't be passive. You know, it's not just about who's there. But like, taking the time to get to really know who is there, you know, you can't you can't treat you can't treat a someone from faraway, like a what it needs to be a who you're not a number, a diversity statistic. These are I think, it's real people, real stories. And these stories can really contribute to not just you know, the growth for that person, but I think for all for all of us here, they would like it or not, we're all living together. We're all one community now. And I'm just to say hello to an international students, ask them where they're from. And ask the end like, really ask them about what that means to them. And watch how happy it makes them. And watch I'll be evasive. Yeah, that's what that's what I gotta say.

Zia Regino 39:30
This episode was produced by Zyra Hino, with help from Nicola watts, thank you to our guests Linda and Ecosa original intro track and transitions produced by Zerah he No, this program would not have been possible without the support of the University of Victoria and the work study program. If you liked what you heard, check out other episodes of you in the ring and subscribe rate and review wherever you get your podcasts.

Lindani 39:54
And you know, a lot of my friends that are Canadian are talking about studying abroad and Seeing all you know it'd be so nice to travel and see the world and get out to places and experience different cultures and things like that it's like Don't you want to do that

Zia Regino 40:08
tonight I am doing currently there I've applied here

Lindani 40:12
yeah I am doing that