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Mentoring can come in all shapes and sizes. It can come when it's least expected or it can be intentionally sought out by either the mentor or the mentee. It can be as simple as meeting intentionally with a student in your neighborhood on a regular basis, or partnering with a local non-profit mentoring organization to pour into one or more students at the same time. Each mentoring relationship is unique, but the specific type of mentoring relationship tends to have similar characteristics and dynamics as other relationships of the same type. This week, Zach and John hop on the pod to discuss the differences and similarities in characteristics and dynamics of mentoring relationships in a one-on-one, group, and organizational setting.
Purchase John's Book:
Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community
Purchase John's Book:
Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. Learn more at you can mentor.com or follow us on social media. You can mentor. Why hello there, mentor. We here at You Can Mentor hope to add as much value as we can to mentors and mentoring organizations through resources and relationships.
Speaker 1:We have a bunch of resources that we've created to support you, such as books, learning lab cohorts, conferences, and online downloadable resources. Our goal is for you to use these resources yourself or to share them with your volunteers. The best way to get access to all of these resources is to sign up for our once a week newsletter. To do that, head on over to our website, you can mentor.com, and give us your info. Thanks so much.
Speaker 1:And remember, you can mentor.
Speaker 2:We welcome you, listener. This is John.
Speaker 1:And Zach. This is me, Zach.
Speaker 2:What I wanna be more mindful of just real quick listener. You don't understand that when we record, we don't have the benefit of our preemptive music. And so what I wanted to do is I wanted to kind of accommodate my voice and my timbre and my approach to the music that that is the lead in. Oh, okay. Sometimes it's a little bit of a jolt when we go from just kind of this mild, cathartic kind of rhythm.
Speaker 2:This this our our opening tune jammed into my voice. Yeah. So I wanted to really just kinda, like, just think about a nice smooth transition. So do what do you think about that?
Speaker 1:So that's what you're going for?
Speaker 2:That was it.
Speaker 1:I mean, I guess we won't know until we listen to it. Right. If you accomplish that.
Speaker 2:And if we and when we do, it's gonna be really exciting. But I don't want my lackadaisical approach to this episode to give anyone the idea that I'm not just busting at the seams with excitement about what we're gonna talk about today.
Speaker 1:Okay. What are we gonna talk about today, John?
Speaker 2:We're gonna talk about the characteristics and dynamics of 1 on 1, small group, and organizational mentoring.
Speaker 1:Guys, so before the podcast, John and I actually prepare for this, and we create a word document. And John likes to write shorthand. And so, John, what was your shorthand for characteristics and dynamics?
Speaker 2:Caracts and dynamies.
Speaker 1:Caract and dynamies. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Just to just to kind of give us a shorthand because we don't have the time to worry about all those 5 and 6 syllable words. Yeah. Just get to the point.
Speaker 1:Alright. So John and I have been talking lately about different kinds of mentoring. And John and I both come from a background of doing different kinds of mentoring. You know, for a long time, I was a teacher, and then we and then I started with some people a nonprofit. And we did 1 on 1 mentoring, and then we did small group mentoring, and then we did organizational after school programs, summer camps, things like that.
Speaker 1:And John has kinda done the same. So, John, what is your Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, I cut my teeth on really just having a handful of mentors guide me well throughout my education and just kinda life development as a teenager through even making career choices as well. And then so I spent a couple of decades in the church leading that way, youth ministry, music ministry, adult ministry as well, and and then I just kinda realized that, hey. I really like taking this mentor's approach to even church leadership. And so that kind of informed decisions and and the style to which myself and and leaders and team members would minister to teenagers. And then, lo and behold, the lord called me kind of out of the church in order to, for the last 7 years, as a full time ministry head up middle man.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I think that's interesting, John. I didn't put this together before you just said that or you just said this Yeah. That I totally forgot about my own history and how I was mentored. And so today, we are gonna talk about the 3 types of mentoring.
Speaker 1:We've got 1 on 1 mentoring, which is just how it sounds. It's 1 on 1, 1 mentor, 1 mentee.
Speaker 2:Mano, a mano. Or how do you say
Speaker 1:how do you say woman in Spanish? Mujer. Mujer?
Speaker 2:Mujer y Mujer.
Speaker 1:Oh, man, we're bilingual here today. So we've got 1 on 1, and then we have small group, which is 1 mentor and multiple mentees. So it's like a 1 on 3, 1 on 5, something like that. And then we have org organizational mentoring, which is you're mentoring with a organization. You're mentoring through a nonprofit.
Speaker 1:You're mentoring through a church. Like, there you are submitting underneath some sort of organization. Right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Zach, I think sometimes when we talk about multiple styles of maybe the same thing, we might run the risk of feeling like we need to grade these things or we need to kinda compare these things in a way to one another to say that this is good and this is bad. How are we gonna maybe deal with that issue here? Are we saying that that one is the best and that, you know, kick out the other 2? What what what do we need to remember?
Speaker 1:Yeah. No. We are not doing that. So I think we're not saying that one type of mentoring is better than the other. In fact, I think I think a lot of what you choose to do depends on your personality and potentially the type of mentee that you are getting into a mentoring relationship with.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Yes. Like, if you mentor through a small group or through an organization, that might help you. If you maybe are more on the shy side, maybe you're more of an introvert. Whereas if you're external processor, maybe more of an extrovert, you're gonna lean more towards the 1 on 1 mentoring.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I think even with our this is interesting, Zach. Every time that you and I sit down and talk, I feel like it is just another opportunity for us to be able to to state that there is a that there's a driving force in our hearts which says that we care about mentoring and that we want to do all that we can with the time that we have to encourage for there to be healthy mentoring. And so while we can say that organizational mentoring, with its many opportunities and resources, is is so great, and we would want the listener to go out and to try to find a local organization to to pour themselves into. We're also saying that there are some that God will call and just say, look.
Speaker 2:I don't have the resources for you. This is not about a team effort, but this is about you really pursuing this this person in a mentor mentee relationship in order that you can share gospel, in order that you can share in your life. And so, right, I mean, we're saying it's it's all of the above for us.
Speaker 1:100%. And I also think so so much of it is dependent upon your life stage as
Speaker 2:well. Mhmm.
Speaker 1:You know, if you're early thirties, maybe you're married, maybe you have a bunch of kids under the age of 10 or 5, maybe it's best for you during that season to mentor with your church. Whereas, maybe if you're 65 and, you know, you have a lot of spare time, maybe that will afford you the opportunity to invest more in a 1 on 1 or maybe even like a small group opportunity.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And I also think a a ton of it has to do with your community. So what if there isn't anyone mentoring in your community? What if there isn't a church that's trying to reach their community in the form of mentoring. Well, then kinda your only option is 1 on 1. Right.
Speaker 1:Then you have to ask yourself, well, what if you don't have access to kids? Like, what if you wouldn't know the the first spot to look whenever you're trying to mentor a kid? Well, then maybe your best shot is to go talk to someone who is mentoring.
Speaker 2:Right. And and you're saying don't go to the playground and just start yelling, does anybody need a mentor? Hey. Mentors mentor over here.
Speaker 1:I have wisdom. Everyone, come and hang out with me.
Speaker 2:You're saying no. Yeah. Don't don't take that approach.
Speaker 1:That would be weird. Okay. Yeah. So don't do that.
Speaker 2:Now for our listeners like myself, Zach, who just kinda need a visual because this medium does not allow us the chance to to show people.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So which, again, they don't usually see my my arms as animated as they are as we record, but
Speaker 1:Very animated.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like when we talk about 1 on 1, small group, and organizational mentoring, do we wanna just kinda give the the visual of, like, 3 baskets that we wanna talk about, 3 jars that we wanna kinda speak into the contents of these?
Speaker 1:Yeah. I think so.
Speaker 2:Is that helpful?
Speaker 1:Maybe. I think one thing that we're gonna do today is we are we are just going to talk about our experiences with each of these. Mhmm. And when I think of 1 on 1 mentoring, I kinda think of 2 things. I I think of 1, the mentor hanging out with a mentee who's younger, who is introverted, and it being really, really, really awkward.
Speaker 1:Okay. Worst case scenario. Yeah. That's probably worst case.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Like, hey, I'm getting introduced to a kid for the first time. He's young. He doesn't even know how to have a conversation, and their personality is such that they're just shy. Right? And then you pair that with a mentor who's shy, and that I just don't know if that's a great recipe for success.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But on the other hand, if you have a mentor who is outspoken and you have a mentee who loves to talk, maybe they have a bunch of siblings, maybe they just have a rather large personality, I have seen that go really, really well. Mhmm. And then in regards to but when I think of 1 on 1 mentoring, I think of 1 mentor, 1 kid in a car just talking. Whenever I think
Speaker 2:Life on life.
Speaker 1:Life on life. Whenever I think of small group mentoring, I think of 1 mentor and 3 mentees sitting at a table at like a like a good old Chick Fil A Mhmm. Talking about life. Maybe their Bible's open, maybe it's not, but the mentor is throwing out a question. Hey.
Speaker 1:Tell me what you guys think about this, or how's it going in regards to this? And then all the mentors are sharing, and they're not only learning from the wisdom of the mentor, but they're also learning from each other. And then when I think of organizational mentoring, I think of a organization, such as a church or a not for profit, tossing some kind of event, and the mentor and the mentee are meeting there, and they are participating in some kind of activity. Whether it's fun or, hey, you guys have this conversation. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Right? Right.
Speaker 1:What about that? Does all of that make sense?
Speaker 2:All of that makes sense. Absolutely. And I think that there are some characteristics and dynamics that we can kinda look at to say, well, some are really helpful in terms of our age, our personality as the mentor, and maybe even our maybe even how much time that we can invest. So when we think about the difference of and we start comparing these different types of mentoring relationships, it's helpful to know, oh, you know what? This is maybe what I should pursue.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So as John and I were having the conversation before the podcast, and we asked, okay, is one better than the other? The answer is, well, every person's different. And so for me in my life, I think I was shaped by my youth group, which you would say is organizational mentoring with a little bit of small group also. Mhmm.
Speaker 1:And that really shaped me until I was mature enough to be able to handle and get some wisdom from 1 on 1 mentoring. Like, I don't think I was mature enough to have a 1 on 1 mentor till I was probably in my late teens, maybe even in my early twenties. Because I just didn't know how to have a conversation like that, and I was scared and maybe a little bit little bit prideful.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. So yeah. So Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. You kinda have to be ready.
Speaker 2:And so organizational, and I think the youth group kind of a paradigm is a really good way to consider this. Might even be for a school group just thinking about what other types of what other types of organizations might the teenager be exposed to while they're growing up. It might be within, like, an FCA
Speaker 1:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:In or it could be within even just a sports program at their school.
Speaker 1:Right. Like, I would say some of my best mentors that kept me on the path of path of positivity Mhmm. Would be my coaches. And I would say that is small group mentoring.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I'm thinking about even I know that some of the the teacher coaches that I've known in the past that are still actually really good friends would sometimes just kind of realize that, you know what, there's a need within this this small group of guys, of my players, and I'm gonna actually just invite them to kinda come hang out in the classroom before school starts. And but lo and behold, before they even knew it, they were forming a small group, mentoring program there over a semester or over the years that these students were there, so that that was a pretty
Speaker 1:neat thing to watch. Yeah. And it's a small group under the umbrella of an organization. Because if my coaches were to leave, then they would just fill in with a new coach.
Speaker 2:That's right.
Speaker 1:And so that that's one thing that we are going to talk about is just how when you mentor underneath a organization, it gives you the flexibility for a mentor to leave. Sure. And so Okay.
Speaker 2:So listen. Well, I know we didn't wanna talk kind of pros and cons about this kind of stuff, but but do we wanna just kind of begin with this 1 on 1 and and just kinda talk about it?
Speaker 1:Well, yeah. So
Speaker 2:back and forth?
Speaker 1:So I think that I'll share kinda my story. So whenever I started mentoring, I thought the only way to do it was 1 on 1. And, yes, we had some success with some kids. But as I look back on it, I would say that we had more relationships that were stagnant or more relationships that didn't work out than we did relationships that just did amazing, which is okay. And I look back, and I'm like, okay.
Speaker 1:Why why did that happen? Well, I think one characteristic and dynamic of 1 on 1 mentoring and even small group is that it depends on the faithfulness of 1 person. So if the mentor fails or if or if they fall or if they even, like, move or just they're not able to spend time with the mentee anymore, then the relationship will probably dissolve. And whereas that's not necessarily the case with organizational mentoring, it is not dependent on one person, and the organization itself can step in to salvage the relationship in a worst case if the mentor does leave.
Speaker 2:Right. Right? Mhmm.
Speaker 1:So what are your thoughts on that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's very true. I'm just thinking about those that I've also been a part of maybe even as a mentee. And, you know, the thing about 1 on 1 in small group is that there's really nothing to hide behind, not not so much that you'd approach it that way anyway to say that, hey, I want but you do want to understand that, man, having resource and having team in order to help is is a valuable thing. And if you begin these 1 on 1 or small group mentoring relationships, you kinda have to think, well, my goodness, is there you know, when when a move happens or when something happens within the group that is going to be a difficult thing to kinda come out of, what is there what is there left to do?
Speaker 2:I mean, I've even been a part of ministries. It makes me think of starting this cool skate ministry, Zac, when I was in college that we we'd put these ramps out on this church parking lot, and this church was so gracious in order to let us even giving us money to build these things. And it was like a come one, come all. We had all these teenagers out there. We had actually 200 teenagers that would come out that were as registered skaters, okay, on this church parking lot, and we were loving this season of ministry.
Speaker 2:I think it lasted about 8 months. Every week, we would put these things out there, hang out with these guys and girls, and no one was giving thought, though, to the fact that even as I was heading up this thing with a group of volunteers, I was still in college. And so as soon as I graduated and began to think about where I was going to move to kind of start my career in ministry, I was ill prepared for what would really and I think I think it was a really missed opportunity and that we didn't really think about, well, wait a minute. Once leadership is gone, what are we gonna do about this thing? And so even though we were an organization, we were one that were that was really treating this thing more so like a small group.
Speaker 2:And so I was gone, and it was gone. And that was a real unfortunate reality to that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I think that is one of the benefits of working with a well established organization, is they are thinking about things that typically just the 1 on 1 mentor, just the person who's like, hey, I'm just gonna go spend some time with some kids, that they're not thinking about. Right? So like the organization is probably thinking more about safety than the average mentor. Right?
Speaker 1:The organization probably has more experience and have have seen more relationships succeed and see more relationships fail, so that they kinda know the signs to watch out for. Right? Right. But I will say all of that to say that, like, whenever I think about who transformed my life, I don't think about a organization, and I really don't even think about a coach who is kind of facilitating more of like a small group. I think about those 1 on 1 conversations.
Speaker 1:And so it it is it is so interesting to me just how the Lord truly can use everything, use small group, use 1 on 1, and use the organization to truly transform a kid's life.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Absolutely. So, you know, something is better than nothing for sure, and I think that it was important that we just say there again, there's no real wrong way to do this, but there are certain advantages with resources and with just leadership in place. And, honestly, the 1 on 1 mentor is the person who has to be mindful of everything, and so they don't get the luxury of being the specialist. It reminds me of a small group leader who did some programming at their church, and this was really neat.
Speaker 2:One summer, they brought in a guy, and this was a guy that he knew from college. And so Ryan tells Billy, hey. I wanna staff you this summer, and what I want you to do is I want you to be the guy who's just here to make memories. That's all you have to do. I just want you to be the guy that is going to set the stage for at the end of the summer, we're gonna have stories to tell.
Speaker 2:And I think, man, what a neat luxury to be the guy who's just brought in to have fun and to and to create memories. So that's not the guy who's thinking about, are the release of liability form signed, and that's not the guy, right, who's making sure that we have enough food for everybody. He is really freed up to just do the thing that he was brought in to do. And so when we think about mentoring as well, mentors, to to have the opportunity to fall into an organization, maybe that's doing some incredible things at your school campus or in your community and just be freed up to have the that opportunity just to spend that that prime time with those students, I think that's just a really great thing. I think it would be something we would all really love to do.
Speaker 1:I also think it's just if you are like, hey. I feel like the Lord's calling me to mentor, but you don't have a specific kid in mind, it's probably a lot easier to go to a organization. Whereas, if a relationship develops organically, like here is an example. My son is in 3rd grade, and his best friend comes from a home where there isn't, you know, there isn't, like, a father figure present. So we had them over, and we were just kinda talking.
Speaker 1:And I talked to this kid's mom, and she's like, hey. Tell me about you. And I tell her kinda some some of my life story. And she's like, man, I I sure would love it for my kid to have a mentor to have a mentor. And I'm like, well, there's an opportunity.
Speaker 1:Right? And and so that's that's probably more of a one on one, or I'm gonna hang out with him and his older brothers, which is more of a small group, than me saying, like, hey. Well, you should check out this church, or you should check out this not for profit. And together, we can go there, and we can, you know, form a mentoring relationship.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So I think I think a lot of it just depends on what opportunities to mentor the Lord kinda tosses at you. Right?
Speaker 2:No kidding. Yeah. That's the key. I mean, this is we wanna do this as an act of obedience and not just, you know what? This will be great to do because we wanna make sure that we're not going too far out ahead of God's will on this or that we're lagging too far behind when he gives us the opportunity.
Speaker 2:So you made mention of just kind of even initiating that 1 on 1 relationship and mentoring, and depending on, you know, several variables, personalities, age, all this good stuff, you can really be looking at an uphill battle from the beginning. So I do think that it's an asset to the small group approach when you can say, oh, you know what? I'm I'm really kinda feeling led to do is maybe just get with a few students in my community and for us to go through a semester's worth of whether it's taking a look at a book together or just character development and and you creating some curriculum or maybe it's just, you know, straight up reading the Bible together. I think that that approach has some real benefit because when you think about those different personalities that you bring into a small group, you might have somebody who, if you were to approach 1 on 1, you just feel like you were talking to the wall week in and week out. But when you think about a small group dynamic, when you might have a student who is more of a talker, more of an extrovert, someone who just seems like they kinda keep the conversation going, well, that other mentee has the luxury of being able to spend time with and kinda have a model of what they could gain.
Speaker 2:And I think that sometimes I've seen this also just they kinda gain some confidence when they see, okay. Well, this is this is kinda how this can work. And I know from my perspective and a small group perspective, you start to you start to kinda realize, hey, as soon as I ask this question, I know that, you know, Frank is gonna answer this question because Frank answers all the questions. So it's when you take you kind of allow him to to kinda warm up or maybe prime the conversation, but then you wanna circle back around and say, okay. Now instead of Frank answering this question, you know, why don't we take it to somebody who who hasn't been in the practice?
Speaker 2:But it's a safe, small group space where it doesn't feel like, you know, you're in this room of of 20 people, but instead just kind of a 1 on 3, 1 on 5 kind of relationship. And I think that can be a really great way to to initiate some mentoring as well.
Speaker 1:Yes. I think asking a kid to do 1 on 1 mentoring when you don't know them very well, that can be kinda awkward. I mean, that's a hard yes. And even if they do say yes, it it can be kinda weird. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Organizational mentoring, sometimes you have to sign, like, a bunch of waivers. You have to have, you know, your parents' permission. You have to have there are some things that have to happen in order for a kid to participate. But small group is is probably the most accessible. It is the easiest to say yes to, and it's the it is the easiest way for a kid to get into the door.
Speaker 1:So maybe I would say this, in a perfect world, like, invite them into a small group setting to where they can start to get comfortable. And then if there's a connection there, then maybe you can move on to 1 on 1. And if you can do all that underneath a organization where they do have, like, someone overseeing you, someone equipping you, one good thing about serving with a non nonprofit or church is they have a ton of resources. So, like, they can really help mentor the mentor, and they can give them access to things that you might not have if you just decided to do it on your own. Right?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Absolutely.
Speaker 1:So yeah. So anything else, John?
Speaker 2:Yeah. I just I was reminded when you were talking about that kind of the idea of how small group can kinda work its way into 1 on 1. I know that for me, I feel like one of the greatest encouragements in the world, and this has only happened a handful of times because I'm not a very popular person, Zach, But don't you just love it when you've had someone request as a mentee, you know, to be able to meet with you instead of you kinda feeling like you're the one that has to initiate that? I've had situations where a a young man has just kinda come to me and said, hey. I'd really love to just be able to meet with you on a week on a
Speaker 1:weekly basis. But how old was that kid?
Speaker 2:Now I think that's a really good question. These are typically, these are young men Right. That would that would be because I think when you start to realize at that point in life when, oh, life is hard, and I'm needing to make some some really tough decisions, some big picture decisions on my life. This is usually, you know, your high school senior. This is usually your your college kid.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Maybe you're a young adult, maybe newly married, maybe, you know, one a young man who's gonna have for me a baby on the way, and these are the kinda guys who say, I don't know what I'm doing, and I really need some help. So I think that you raise a really good point. A lot of times, that is that is kind of on a need base. But, again, that's that's the joy of that when they say, I'm in need. I see that you at least have your act together, or you can speak into some things, or I wanna just kinda watch as I've been watching you live your life.
Speaker 2:I want you to kinda speak into, and I'd love to be able to bring questions to you for you to help me kinda figure this thing out.
Speaker 1:Right. I think what as I think about this, the 1 on 1 is probably gonna be more impactful for the older men mentees. But the small group, and specifically a small group within a organization, so the organization can provide mentors with best practices, but also safety. Because safety guys is such a big deal. If you can have small group mentoring, so like say you go to an after school after school program, or say you mentor with like a summer camp, or with like a church, like, hey, every Wednesday night, I'm gonna hang out with these 5 kids.
Speaker 1:Right? I think that is a great way to start to build that relationship, to start to take small steps into starting the process of mentoring. And then if you can stick around for long enough, and if you can start to build that trust, then potentially it could turn into a 1 on 1 type deal. I just don't know how many kids under the age of, you know, probably 13, maybe 15, who would come up to me and be like, hey, I think I need some help in this area. Could we meet about it every week?
Speaker 1:I just don't know if that's gonna happen. Right. Now, I do think once a kid's about, you know, this age range between 9 15, I think they are starting to ask those questions, but they're starting to ask them in their in their head. Right. It's not like an out loud thing, but it's kinda like a, there's something about this guy, and I can't articulate it, but I know that they've got something that I want.
Speaker 1:Mhmm. And so
Speaker 2:And I think that's all all the more reason why the mentor, who in many ways is the guide, we are the we are the visionary to be able to say, hey. This may not be the right time for you to make all of these decisions right now, but you know what? It's coming. Like, these decisions are coming, and so we wanna set the stage and really have them make the healthiest decisions that they can.
Speaker 1:Right. That's a great that's a great example. A kid who's 13 is not gonna be thinking about finances or college, but you as a mentor can be like, hey. Have you ever thought about finances, or have you ever thought about college? And if the answer is no, then you're like, okay.
Speaker 1:Well, here's here's the first thing to think of. Yeah. Or, well, why don't we have a conversation? And I've just found that you're with most kids, not all kids, but with most kids, you're just gonna have a better chance of them opening up if they're in a environment where they feel safe and where they feel like they can be themselves. Right?
Speaker 1:So like, you're probably gonna have a lot better chance of having a conversation with a kid when he's surrounded by his friends in an environment where he's having fun than if you take him to a coffee shop. So so yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It's so interesting. It is so nuanced as we start to have these kinds of conversations.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. But So another benefit of this organizational mentoring is it kinda brings to mind did you ever read Purpose Driven Church, Purpose Driven Youth Ministry, that that Saddleback kind of stuff? Okay. Well, from my perspective with youth ministry and really needing resource, I know that that that Doug Field's book was just a huge asset to a lot of youth ministers back in the nineties. Do you remember the nineties?
Speaker 2:No. It was an incredible time. Lots of flannel. But this resource did present this idea of of these of these relationships and kinda their many forms to I think that fields would use language like you would have core relationships all the way out to these congregational relationships. Okay?
Speaker 2:So when we think about Jesus relationships, we know he's got the 3, right, and then he's got the 12 and so on and so forth. And so when we kind of apply that to our mentoring relationship, Zach, we kinda realize that, oh, the benefit of a lot of organizational mentoring might be that we've got this group of teenagers, and just based on personality, we're gonna really click with, and we're gonna we're gonna form some some really close relationships with with a handful of these kids. We're not gonna need we're not gonna have the opportunity to know everybody all at the same level and have these, you know, intimate friendships. But what's cool to think about from the organizational mentoring perspective is that as a as a youth worker or however you guys frame it, we can think about that, you know, my really close relationship might be one that you've got a relationship with, and you just kinda know their name, but you're not really as close with and vice versa. And so when we think about how the one on one relationship may suffer based on leadership moving, based on just kinda life happening, the real benefit there is that it the organization can withstand things kinda changing and things happening with with leadership.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Like, I can I can remember probably some of the most impactful people that I had in my life were my my church youth group's summer interns, and they were only with us for, like, 2 months? And I knew that they would leave, but I also knew that it didn't matter if they left because my church would find a new one next summer. And and so that is that is really, like, they spent 1 on 1 time with me, but where I got to know them was within the small group. But our relationship was built underneath the banner of the church.
Speaker 1:Right. And as as we're having as we're having these conversations, how important is it for us to try everything we can to get our mentees into a church home? Because so much of this can happen at church.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's a built in.
Speaker 1:It is such a built in. I I think one thing that is great too about all of this is when you're being mentored through an organization or at at a small group with a kinda one person in charge, one mentor, you really have an ability to learn not only from the mentor, but from your peers as well. So, like, as I think about my childhood, like, my youth ministers and even my coaches were some of my best mentors. But some of the people who influenced me the most were older kids who were also either in in the church or, like, as a 7th grader on my sports teams, I looked up to the guys who were in 9th grade a ton. And so this small group or mentoring underneath a organization gives other kids the opportunity to mentor as well.
Speaker 1:So
Speaker 2:Yeah. And it get it just goes to show also that when you can present a mentee with as many life stages as possible that are healthy, it is just so beneficial. You know? Again, leading from an organization's perspective, when you kinda realize, oh, well, this is who I am. Let's say that you're very young, then you're going to think and you and you have the opportunity to mentor even younger folks.
Speaker 2:Let's say you're in college and you just really wanna reach out to to high schoolers, something like a Young Life organization, then you're also saying, oh, but there's a real benefit to have someone who's beyond me that can also speak truth and wisdom into the lives of these youngsters. Or if you're an older leader, then you obviously also want to have to kinda bridge that gap in between to say, well, I know that they will learn from me as I'm in my fifties. However, goodness, they also need to be learning from someone in their twenties.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Whenever I volunteered with Young Life, one thing that I loved about them was I was in my late twenties, so I was, like, 28, 29. And I volunteered with Young Life for over a decade. But the kids that I was investing into that year, they were in 7th grade. And so it was like my mentees were the 7th graders.
Speaker 1:I was in my late twenties, but they gave me 3 high school juniors and seniors to help me out. And as I look back now, I'm like, man, that's genius. Because it gives these kids someone to look up to that they can relate to, as well as an older person like like myself. Absolutely. Which is just genius.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I guess there's a reason why they're so big and so awesome. Yeah, Young Life. Shout out
Speaker 2:to Young Life.
Speaker 1:Alright. Cool. So let's let's let's put a bow on this thing. Yeah. Alright.
Speaker 1:So kinda like what we said, the 3 types of mentoring, 1 on 1, group, and organizational. There is there is not one that's better than the other, but I would just say that all mentoring is good. And your personality, your mentor your mentee's personality, your life stage, your community, what not for profits or what kinds of churches you have surrounding you, whether you have access to kids or if something pops up kinda organically, all of those things can dictate what kind of mentoring you participate in. Right?
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And so, like, so why why we did this podcast today was just to kinda spotlight some of some of the characteristics and dynamics of all types of mentoring.
Speaker 2:And listen, I think that there's always going to be something that less than ideal. Right, Zach?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:When you think about this this friendship between you and I, sure, there are things that I wish would change. Sure, I there there are words of encouragement that I wish were spoken more often, but does that does that let me throw the Zach out with the bathwater?
Speaker 1:I sure hope not.
Speaker 2:It does not. It does not. And so I do think that though there I think that it is a matter of prayer sometimes, mentor, as we encourage you and and desire to equip you for the work of mentoring. There will be times when you really beat your head against the wall, maybe even literally, because you know that you have a heart for mentoring, but it it can just be such a struggle. There are some things that will present themselves that that allow you to purely make this a matter of just the Lord continuing to grow the fruits of his spirit within you, and then there are also sometimes those indicators that show you that you may need to make some adjustments.
Speaker 2:And so I think that it's interesting as we discuss about these different types of mentoring. There may be a season when you kinda need to be thinking about, well, you know what? I've always considered mentoring to be this way. Maybe I kinda need to look at this with some fresh eyes. So maybe even just going to the Lord in a season of prayer to say, god, am am I continuing to be obedient in how you have me understand what mentoring really is?
Speaker 2:And I just think it's always a wonderful thing to go to the Lord with this, to to lay this at his feet even, and to say, Lord, is this an act of obedience? And more times than not, I think that's also really special, you 1 on 1 mentors out there, to say, is there a is there a time and is there a way that I can just kind of invite others into this as well, or am I being invited into into something? Because as we know, we get a lot more done together than we do individually. That's great, buddy. Awesome job.
Speaker 2:Cool, man.
Speaker 1:Alright. Well, thanks a lot for tuning in, and feel free to holler at us if you have any questions or anything like that. And remember, you can mentor.