Come in 81 Kilo: A Forever Knight Podcast

The very last episode of Forever Knight season 2 and it's an interesting one. Lots of greed shaming, lots of bank transfers, and a bit of Nick and Schanke fun. 



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What is Come in 81 Kilo: A Forever Knight Podcast?

Super Fan Rachel and First Time Watcher Matt make their way episode by episode through the groundbreaking 1990's Canadian vampire cop television show, Forever Knight.

Nick:

Sean, let me give you a little piece of advice. Right now, you're swimming in self importance. But in time, all your greed and your wealth will weigh you down. And eventually, you'll drown. Hey.

Nick:

Hey. What about my keys?

Rachel:

Hi. I'm Rachel. And I'm Matt. And this is Come in, 81 kilo.

Matt:

A forever night podcast.

Rachel:

Welcome back, friends.

Matt:

Welcome back.

Rachel:

It's time for another episode, a forever night episode. And you know what I realized, actually, that I do this from when we used to have all of our episodes.

Matt:

Yeah. Under one.

Rachel:

Yeah. I do that from when we used to have all of our episodes under one umbrella. And then when we separated them, I didn't need to do it anymore, but I still do it. So it's time for another episode, a forever night episode, a forever night season 2 episode 26.

Matt:

The last.

Rachel:

Stop. That means we only have 22 episodes left ever, a forever night until they reboot it. You hear me, universe? You hear me? This episode is called Blood Money, and it's notable mostly because it's just a bunch of cameos.

Rachel:

This is not can you imagine this is your your season finale? Very nearly your series finale. Can you imagine now in, like, today's age having this be the you're like, okay. Well, I'm really excited about that again for next season because nothing happened, and I'm not waiting for anything to resolve.

Matt:

Right.

Rachel:

I don't know what episode would be a better last episode. If you were watching this originally, Crazy Love would have been the last episode before it went on break.

Matt:

I think a more permanent hell would be a much better last episode of the season.

Rachel:

Because then you can have a time jump where the world recovers? Yes. Yeah.

Matt:

Rather than That makes sense. Oh, it's a week later. The entire world has recovered, and we're never going to speak about the whole comet

Rachel:

Yeah.

Matt:

Thing. And I also Instead, we can jump forward like a year Yeah. And say, oh, hey. It's been a year since the world recovered, and we just don't talk about it anymore.

Rachel:

Right. And I kinda also wanted to talk about we had 2 kind of ridiculous episodes back to back. We had a more permanent hell, and prior to that, we had the code. And we had a lot of fun with them, And I really wanted to make sure everybody knows that that's our love language. Knowing something completely, like being aware of something's flaws and being able to talk about them and still loving them is how we love things.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

So if I talk about it for 2 and a half hours and it's just me giggling through all of the plot holes, it's because I have watched this show or this episode 12 fucking times because I love it so much. And I've just had time to pick it apart into tiny little pieces because that's how I show something that I love it. Yeah. And to me, this whole show feels like, you know, at the end of the never ending story when everything is gone and Bastian is with the the empress. Yeah.

Rachel:

And she holds out her hand and she just has the single grain of sand. This is all that's left of my once great kingdom, and she has this single grain of sand. Right? They have this single grain of magic sand.

Matt:

Mhmm.

Rachel:

They had this one brilliant idea, and they just ran with it in the first season. And they ran with it without any exactly the way we started this podcast, which was, let's just fucking do it. Let's just do it and see what happens. I I think this could be a little bit magic if we just lean into it. Right.

Rachel:

And then they got a little scared because they almost didn't get renewed. They come back for the 2nd season, and the 2nd season is good, but it's safer. And we're gonna get that network money, but we're also going to forget we ever had that maj may that magic grain of sand. And I feel like each season and we can talk about this. Maybe we'll have a big wrap up at the end when we can talk about everything in in totality, but I feel like each season has these tiny little pieces of the magic.

Rachel:

And if we had just gotten one season where every single piece of magic got put together, this show would not be as obscure as it is now. We'd be talking about rebooting it like we're talking about rebooting Frasier because oh, I guess we are just we we just rebooted Frasier.

Matt:

What?

Rachel:

Yeah. They they rebooted Fraser.

Matt:

They they rebooted it.

Rachel:

It back. It's like he's in another city, and I don't know. I don't know. I didn't watch Frasier. I just know it's in the zeitgeist that it's back.

Matt:

But you you get

Rachel:

what I'm saying? They each one did something right, but none did alright. But that's okay. I still love it. I love each season for different reasons, and I'm gonna be sad to leave season 2 behind because it just even though it was safer, it still had kind of a good had a good magic.

Rachel:

And then it just had these there's just some episodes that you're like, who wrote that plot? I love you for your audacity, but who wrote that? Like, you know, asteroid episode, whatever. But this episode is not one of those. It it kind of feels like, well, what are we gonna talk about?

Rachel:

I don't know. The whole last episode was about greed. Why don't we do another greed episode? Maybe like an origin story.

Matt:

Hot right now.

Rachel:

Yeah. Let's let's do that. You know? Because those people were willing to end the world for money. What would Nick be willing to do for money?

Rachel:

Okay.

Matt:

Kill.

Rachel:

Yeah. Kill somebody with his teeth. But it was a long time ago. It's fine. So we open on, and there's so many cameos.

Rachel:

I'm going to have point them out because this guy at the very beginning, our Charles Duchamp, the older man, his name is Bernard Behrens, Behrens Behrens. Behrens? Behrens? He's in Dracula the series with Garrett Wyndavies. He's uncle Gustaf, and they recognized him because

Matt:

Garrett in Dracula the series?

Rachel:

Yes. Okay. As Klaus, the flamboyant vampire. Oh, I can't tell you any more of that because there's plans in the works. Maybe we'll be doing that eventually.

Rachel:

But, and his son, Sean Duchamp, actually plays in a vampire movie called Blood and Donuts, and he's Gordon Carey. That's the actor's name. And he plays in a show a movie, just a movie called Blood and Donuts for this vampire accidentally falls asleep at a moon landing party, and he wakes up in the eighties.

Matt:

That's a long nap.

Rachel:

Yeah. And his house is right next to a 24 hour donut store. So Gotcha. Hence blood and donuts. But we open with uncle Gustaf and Sean I'm sorry.

Rachel:

Charles Duchamp and Sean are not seeing eye to eye. Sean is actually walking around the room drinking liquor in different locations. Like, first, he's drinking it by the by the place, and then he walks over, and he drinks it over by there, and then he comes and drinks it in front of his dad grandfather. Dad? Dad.

Rachel:

Maybe he had him late in life. And so he ends up, you know, in his circuitous route of drinking liquor, we find out that he's in a lot of money, a little a lot of trouble. He owes money, and his dad is in charge of a lot of money. So wouldn't you know it? We could work together and solve my problem.

Rachel:

You could just give me money and this could be all fixed. And, not it's not Gustav. Sorry. But Charles is like, no. Hard pass.

Rachel:

Okay. I'm gonna have to go with no here. And Sean's like, why not? You're not helping me. And he goes, by n, I am helping you.

Rachel:

I'm helping you face well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of your own decisions. And Sean is like, well, the consequences of my decisions are like death. Death. Because he owes a lot of money to someone who is not a very nice person, as we will find out. And he says, I need a loan, not a lecture.

Rachel:

And that's when his his father replies, don't bargain with me, son. I'm not the devil.

Matt:

Chuck don't give a fuck.

Rachel:

Chuck don't give a fuck. You're sitting on that. I can tell. Whenever Matt makes a joke that he's been waiting to say, he does this little self satisfied smirk, and that's what he just did. Another reason established the delivery.

Rachel:

Another reason for us to have a YouTube channel so everyone else could experience the I just said something I know was really and that was good. That was good. Yeah. Chuck gives a fuck, but Chuck gives a fuck about making him better, not about solving his immediate problem. But I feel like the line, don't bargain with me.

Rachel:

I'm not the devil, is something I need to add to my quote repertoire, so I made sure to note it down. And then we get this fairly long scene set to some music, and just remember, pretty much any music featured at least in the first two seasons, that's Fred Mullen. He wrote that because it was easier to just have him compose something than it was to get rights for that kind of stuff. So there's this long scene where Sean is dancing at this club, and his father is walking to his car, and we're swapping back and forth, and his son is getting more and more and more and more ridiculous. And he's finally up on a platform dancing just as his dad gets in the car, turns the car on, and Sean falls off the platform as his dad's car explodes, and there's no one there to catch Sean.

Rachel:

He just falls all the way to the ground, which

Matt:

might Symbolism.

Rachel:

Be metaphorical. The one person who would catch him is not there anymore. And then we cut to the intro. That's our setup. And it's Genki walking out of a lottery place, and he walks up to the door of Nick's car, and he's like, hey, loan me a loony.

Nick:

Nick, give me a loony. A dollar what for? I'm gonna make you a wealthy man. Uh-huh. I just had a vision.

Nick:

I saw the winning lottery number. Yeah. And I just saw Elvis coming out of a doughnut shop. Young Elvis or old Elvis? Very funny.

Rachel:

And Nick goes, a dollar. Thank you. That was for that was for clarification for the day to air con audience. A dollar

Matt:

text clues.

Rachel:

Why would you need that? And he's like, oh, come on, man. I had a dream. I saw the winning lottery numbers. I'm gonna make you a wealthy man.

Rachel:

And Nick is like, yeah. No. Hard pass. He goes, neither a lender nor a borrower be skank.

Matt:

By the way, this episode is directed by Garrett Wind Davies.

Rachel:

Of course it is.

Matt:

Of course it is.

Rachel:

And skanky's like, oh, god. Come off it, Nick. You could have $15,000,000. I'm sitting on $15,000,000. All I need is a dollar, and he's like, nope.

Rachel:

Not gonna do it. And then they get a call for 81 kilo because there's been a an explosion, and there's a car on fire, and there's a body in the car. So they zoom off to go do that.

Matt:

I I don't know if the body is still in the car. It started out in the car.

Rachel:

Well, yeah, there's pieces because Skanky goes, I hate to think of who has to identify all those pieces, which you know who's gonna identify all the pieces, skanky. We all know who's gonna identify all the pieces.

Matt:

There's someone here that can identify all the pieces.

Rachel:

Well, they know who it is immediately because he has a nameplate. He has, like, a parking,

Matt:

like Fancy car.

Rachel:

Park parking reserved for Charles Duchamp. And they hand it to Nick, and he they're like, oh, this looks like this was Charles Duchamp, and Nick's like, oh, yes. And then we, like, this this episode's interesting because we actually have a couple asides that are not the flashback. So this is an establishing flashback.

Matt:

Flashbacks.

Rachel:

But it but it's not part of our overall flashback because we kinda zip to the side, and it's Nick and Charles sitting in front of a fireplace. And we find out that Charles is the executor of the de Brebonne Foundation. And he's trying to talk Nick out of giving $41,000,000 in contributions, which is roughly $80,000,000 80 to $90,000,000 in today's money in contributions to charities, because if he's giving away that much money, it's gonna be really hard to hide. And Nick's like, I trust you. You'll you'll work it out.

Rachel:

This is what I pay you for. You hide me. You just you give it away. He actually says, your move, Charles. Because Charles is like, why do you give your money away like this?

Rachel:

Is it dirty? Why are you ashamed of it? What is this what is the story? Like, I've known you for 50 years. You are, as we will soon find out, a billionaire, and yet you want nothing to do with your money.

Rachel:

You give it all away. Is what's what's wrong with it? And he doesn't answer. He just goes, your move, Charles, because they're playing chess. And then we go back, and Nick is actually talking to Skanky because Skanky's like, oh, you know, this was Charles Duchamp, but it turned you know, there was enough c 4 in this car to launch his father to the moon or to launch this guy to the moon, but I think I know who did it because it turns out he had a son.

Rachel:

And Nick just goes

Matt:

Yes. Sean.

Rachel:

He goes, Sean. He doesn't go yes. He just goes, Sean. And then we do this cool Nick turns his head, and as he turns his head, the camera whips to the side. And then we are in another area, and it's Sean gambling.

Rachel:

It's very obvious this is the only thing in this room. They just put this table here and, like, cram some extras around it, but it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It doesn't

Matt:

It's still effective.

Rachel:

Seeing the man behind the camera doesn't take away the enjoyment of the scene. It's just funny that this is what this is the kind of money they used to have for this stuff. It was, I don't know, clear that corner of the warehouse out, throw that craps table over there, and just have him pretend he's he's he's gambling. And I think the part that bothers me the most about this scene more than anything else is he's smoking a cigarette, and the cigarette is all the way down to the filter. So he only has the filter with ash on it in his mouth.

Matt:

Sean does?

Rachel:

Yeah. It's kind of like in The Shining when his wife is talking, and she has that cigarette between her fingers, Wendy. And her ash gets to, like, an inch and a half long, And her ash gets to, like, an inch and a half long, and she's still just holding it there. And it's holding on, and it's more terrifying than anything else that happens in the entire movie.

Matt:

Is it going to fall?

Rachel:

But then Nick and Skanky arrive at this club, which is paparazzi. I know it's hard to tell because somebody just, threw these you know those sticky hands that you get where you throw the sticky hands up on the wall? Mhmm. It looks like somebody did that, but with the letters.

Matt:

Yeah. Just jumped him at the wall.

Rachel:

Matt didn't even know the name of the club was Paparazzi. He was like

Matt:

I I knew I knew the name of the club was Paparazzi because he kept saying, oh, I was

Rachel:

at Paparazzi.

Matt:

Yeah. But then they would show this building with some weird shapes on the side, and I didn't realize that was supposed to be paparazzi. Yeah. Until, like, the last time we looked at it. Right.

Matt:

And I kind of turned my head to the side.

Rachel:

It's some good old graphic design in the nineties. They were like, meh. We'll just if you kinda stagger the height of the letters, that makes it look artistic. And they end up getting in to talk to the guy in charge. Well, they don't talk to the guy in charge this time, but we see the guy in charge because they radio up to ask him if it's okay if these police officers come in and see Sean.

Rachel:

And this is Jules Walken, who's played by Colm Feore. Feore? Feore? Yeah. Yeah.

Rachel:

He's a Stratford alumni. That's why he's in this because

Matt:

because they're

Rachel:

acting buddies. Garrett was like, well, my buddy can I get my buddy in on this? I think Garrett there's several places where Garrett is acting in this show with people he's acted with previously, and I have to imagine that the rotating wheel of Canadian actors in the nineties was so small. They probably were all just like, hey. I know a guy.

Rachel:

Do can we cast him? And they're like, yeah. Sure. It's fine. Bring him on.

Rachel:

What what's he gonna be in? 15 minutes of scene?

Matt:

Vouch for him.

Rachel:

Oh, but he's a great actor. It's fine. This guy went on to do a lot, though, so it's kinda funny to see him in this little nineties. I always like it when these people start here, and then they go off and do these really cool stuff. Like, Hayden Christensen is in this show.

Rachel:

He's not in the show for a while, but he's in this show, and you're like, oh, he goes on to be in Star Wars, but on his little IMDB credit forever will be forever night, one episode, and he's in it for, like, 2 seconds. He just gasps and runs away. But, anyway, he cuts Sean off. He's like, no. No.

Rachel:

This man's gambled too much. He's got no. He's in too deep. Cut him off. Tell him the cops are here.

Rachel:

Invite in Metro's finest is what he says. And then we cut to, like, a black scene, and then we unzip. So, like, we're looking from the inside of the body bag. And they made Sean ID this body that got blown up by so much c 4, it could have been launched to the moon.

Matt:

Then maybe they wanted a react to his, like, candid reaction.

Rachel:

Well, he goes, yeah. That's my dad. What? There's no way he'd be able to identify that body. Which piece did they show him?

Rachel:

Is this his wristwatch on this severed arm?

Matt:

I don't know. Had, distinctive fillings.

Rachel:

Distinctive fillings. Yeah. Okay. Maybe. He's like, yeah.

Rachel:

That's my dad's front gold too.

Matt:

Crowns. Yeah.

Rachel:

I don't know. It's just okay. I mean, whatever. It's fine. It's fine.

Rachel:

And then we very quickly go from there to them being in the interrogation room. We hop around locations quite a bit in this, and I think this episode is interesting because this is actually some of the most detailed procedural stuff that we get, but the only reason Nick is so engaged in this is because he's trying to keep everyone from finding out that that's his money that Sean stole. So we finally get Nick engaged in an investigation, and it's only because he wants to make sure he solves it before anybody else does. Right. Because he wants

Matt:

to keep his name out of the police paperwork.

Rachel:

Right. Yeah. He has money money to find out he's a billionaire. Who's gonna how are they gonna treat him after that? Like, what?

Rachel:

Why are you a cop? I don't know. It's my hobby. Okay? But we cut to the interrogation room, and Skanky's like, yeah.

Rachel:

Looks like somebody blew daddy Dearest up, It's kinda it's kinda weird, but you know some pretty weird people. And he's like, we work with the really wealthy. That doesn't happen. And Skanky is not. He immediately smells bullshit all over Sean.

Rachel:

Ultimately, he's incorrect. Sean didn't actually kill his dad, But he knows that Sean is not an upstanding citizen, and he can't handle it.

Matt:

He did not kill his dad, but his dad died as a consequence of his actions.

Rachel:

Correct. Because his dad was trying to teach him a lesson. His dad died. Had his dad just given him the $1,000,000, it would have all been over. But Sean ended up telling this guy that he knew an account, like a a mysterious account that they could probably empty and no one would notice that has, in $1995, 400 $78,000,000 in it, which in today's world is almost a1000000000, very close to a1000000000.

Rachel:

But alas, because Sean is like, yeah. Wealthy people don't do that. And so Skanky goes, I've seen money make people do some pretty shitty stuff.

Nick:

Okay. Did your father have any enemies, any hostile competitors, any disgruntled clients? The Maison Duchon's clients are among the wealthiest people in the world, detective. Things like this just don't happen in our business. Oh, yeah?

Nick:

I got a flash for you, kid. I've seen money make even the most wealthy do the most disgusting things. I guess you can never have enough. Know what I mean?

Rachel:

I just watched the world almost end because this lady was trying to make more money on the stock market, so she pretended that an asteroid was gonna hit the Earth. I've seen some pretty hinky shit, man. I don't think you can pull the wealthy people don't do this on me. And Nick is actually playing good good good cop, giving Sean all the benefit of the doubt, not because he actually likes Sean, but because he needs Sean cooperative so that he can continue to hide his own tracks. Because Sean has absolutely no idea that the cop investigating his case is the cop whose money he's about to steal.

Rachel:

And he's like, well, you know, I'm I really appreciate you guys are trying to figure out who killed my dad and all, but, you know, you gotta be discreet. We gotta keep stuff on the DL. And Skanky's like, oh, I will up high all of that. There is no DL for Skanky. Skanky will oh, Skanky will flip every rock.

Rachel:

He's like

Matt:

Discrete is not in Skanky's vocabulary for this case.

Rachel:

This is not his wheelhouse. He does not do discreet. He does results. Okay? That's what Skanky does.

Rachel:

And Nick is like, it it's okay. We'll be professional. And then when Sean leaves, he's like, skanky. I thought we had to talk about this in the code. You gotta get it together.

Rachel:

You are not being you were you leaned on him a little hard. He just lost his dad. And Skanky's like, yeah. Are you sure? Because he wasn't acting like it.

Rachel:

And then they go into Cohen's office, and Cohen and Skanky are especially goofy in this episode, and I don't know why. It kind of feels like it's the last day at school, and you're about to get out on summer break, and so you just can't take school seriously. Because Cohen's, like, leaning on the desk, and she's like, tell me more. Spill the tea. What happened in the investigation room?

Rachel:

Skanky is like, oh, junior did it. He did it. And Nick is like, come on. I don't know. Maybe that's a big conclusion to jump to.

Rachel:

Don't hurt yourself jumping that far. And he's like, oh, come on. He blew his dad up to get the money. This is a classic case of blood money. Hey.

Rachel:

There's the episode title. And Nick is like, well, I don't think so. So I'm gonna go talk to the only person who's absolutely going to know what's going on, but not quite yet. 1st, I'm gonna have a flashback, and this flashback is just so Nick can have this sword fight. This is the the sole purpose of this flashback.

Matt:

Yeah. So to have the sword fight and to establish where the money came from.

Rachel:

I mean, that too, I guess. But really?

Matt:

Gary just want to have a sword fight with his friend.

Rachel:

Oh, you know what's interesting? We know from faithful followers, he has a checking and a savings account with which both have a staggering amount of money in them. So he has a whole foundation that is separate from his, like, day to day liquid capital.

Matt:

He does not directly interact with. With.

Rachel:

Right. And that's almost $1,000,000,000, but then he also has his such like, his saving and his

Matt:

Yeah. His personal accounts.

Rachel:

So he could be over. He could have far over $1,000,000,000 if he has a couple $1,000,000 in savings. Yeah. Well, anyway, just gonna put that there. So we go to the flashback, and Jeanette and Lacroix are standing in this.

Rachel:

You can kind okay. How do I wanna phrase this? I love this flashback because it's played out very much like a screen like a a stage play because we just have one set.

Matt:

Right.

Rachel:

And the actors move around the set like they're on the stage. Because we start out with just Jeanette and Lacroix, and they're kind of standing by this well, and they're like, the quality of the prey around here is so low. We need to move on, see if we can find some better blood. And then they tipped this body into the well.

Nick:

The quality of our prey has been reduced to this. We must leave this region now.

Janette:

But what about Nikola's business?

Nick:

Whatever business it is, we can be certain that it is pure folly, and that will only bring us trouble.

Rachel:

Well, yeah. All of your the your prey quality is going down. You're poisoning the well. There's, like, 16 dead bodies.

Matt:

Poisoned the water hole.

Rachel:

There's, like, 16 dead bodies in the well. Of course. They all have dysentery. No wonder they're all they're all, like, reduced in quality over time. And then they're like, hark, I hear a sound, and they run they run they, like, run over and hide behind this pillar where they are very much not hidden at all.

Rachel:

And then Nick and his friend run out from off screen, like, run out from behind a piece of scenery, holding this chest, and Nick, like, dramatically actually, I think it's Colm who does it. He act he, like, puts the chest down on the well, which just got a dead body tossed in it, and he's like, We've done it. We we swindled the king because they colluded with the to stage his own abduction, to get the king to pay to bring the dofan back, but that they ended up just killing the guy that they pretended to kidnap and keeping the keggings money for themselves. And we find this out because LaCroix makes a noise, and the guy's like, hark. What is that?

Rachel:

And LaCroix comes out, and he's like, 'Tis I. And Nick is like, don't worry. He's one of my my friends. Like, he's on our side.

Matt:

Yeah. You can trust him.

Rachel:

Yeah. Oh, right. And Lacroix is like

Matt:

kill everybody.

Rachel:

Lacroix is like, the fuck, Nicholas? What what has thou done? And he's like, oh, I stole this money. I stole it so good. And his friend's like, yeah.

Rachel:

We did it together. And he's like, no. There's no we. And he pulls out his sword. And he says, there's no, honor among thieves.

Rachel:

I mean, of course. And then he starts to fight this guy, and Lacroix is like, beware, Nicholas. Blood money brings only misfortune. And Nick's like, where's your sense of adventure? Avast.

Rachel:

And he, like, pulls his sword out. And then we have our sword fight, which is really good. It's a good sword fight. I'm not saying that this isn't worth this flashback. They are obviously having a ton of fun moving around this scene.

Matt:

I just imagine how many takes they had. Yeah. With Garrett as the director. That one didn't feel very good.

Rachel:

It's like the scene

Matt:

from Reset.

Rachel:

It's like the scene from Highlander, When he's on the the duel

Matt:

Oh, the duelist.

Rachel:

Thank you. Yeah. And he gets stabbed. I'm sorry I called your wife a bloated warthog. I bet you could say.

Rachel:

But the reason that Nick gives Cohen and Skanky for why he doesn't think that this guy did it is because he as Skanky keeps pointing out, he's savvy. Yeah. He's savvy. That's why I don't think he did it. It's too flashy.

Rachel:

He would just poison him and be done with

Matt:

it. Yeah.

Rachel:

He would have killed him in a way that you would never have found out.

Matt:

This provokes too much attention from the police.

Rachel:

Right. And, you know, I'm I'm really glad we had this chat, but I need to run home and go burn some papers because they're about to do a full audit of the Maison Duchamp, the investment house, and he can't have anybody finding his records. So he goes to burn them. And this is when we find out that he has $478,000,000 in 1995. So Nick is burning his account records.

Rachel:

I don't think this is a gas fireplace. I know we harp on this a lot. They tend to burn things in not wood burning fireplaces, but I get it. It's a set. You have to do what you have to do, so it's fine.

Rachel:

You know, I feel like it's fine is the the overall theme of this whole episode. Like, okay. I don't but you know what? It's okay. It's fine.

Rachel:

Because then Sean is at the foundation now because, of course, he's the

Matt:

So okay. So the the fireplace burning papers, was that Nick?

Rachel:

That was Nick.

Matt:

In Nick's apartment?

Rachel:

And I don't think it's his apartment. I think he's at the Maison Duchamp.

Matt:

Oh, he broke it. He went in through the window?

Rachel:

Yeah. He snuck in. He did the, like, boop boop because it's the wrong fireplace. It doesn't have the same wood wood paneled.

Matt:

That makes sense.

Rachel:

Because otherwise, it would just be at his home. Why would they ever find it? Right. Yeah. Or

Matt:

it's Sean burning it No. It's Nick. Because he stole all the money.

Rachel:

It's Nick. He turns his face, so they very clearly see it's him.

Matt:

Okay. So then we know Nick broke into Charles'

Rachel:

to, to Chuck's office. Yeah. To yeah. Chuck. Chuck who gives no fucks.

Rachel:

Chuck who gives none now because he did. So he he's burning those. And then Sean comes to the foundation because that's what he's after is the the blood money, Nick's blood money, which is the motivation for everybody in this episode. Meanwhile, Nick has gone to the Raven because he burned the papers, and now he needs to get a sense of what's actually happening here. And, clearly, the only person who knows what's going on at any given point in time is Jennette.

Matt:

Of course.

Rachel:

Of course. So he goes to the Raven to talk to Jennette, and I would like to just draw attention to Jennette's dress for a minute. She's worn this before. This is not the first time she's worn this, and it's a strapless

Matt:

I I would say Jennette draws enough attention to Jennette's dress.

Rachel:

It's like a strapless dress that's tight around just her breasts, and then it's like this flowy red chiffon underneath of it, and it's beautiful. And she wears it several times in this episode, and it is the most cleavage I think we get out of her in this season. Because she usually wears that tight, like, that high velour dress, that high necked velour dress or some other she has some other fairly high neck dresses. This is her most I got assets dress that she's got. And so Matt was like, oh, the dress.

Rachel:

But Nick is asking her about Paparazzi, this club. Who owns it? What's going on there? He go he owes a lot of money there. I just need to get a handle on who I'm working with.

Rachel:

And Jeanette's like, it's so tacky and overpriced, and it won't last very long. And he's like, okay. But, like, I need actual information about it.

Matt:

And I need a corporate espionage.

Rachel:

Yeah. Can you can you give me the the the t? And she's like, oh, yeah. The guy who owns it is, Jules Walken, and, you know, he does a lot of stuff on the side. It's not just a club.

Rachel:

And he's like, okay, so gambling, drugs? And she just goes, And he goes, why so coy? And she goes, why so curious? Nick says, well, did you know Sean? And she's like, oh, yeah.

Rachel:

He used to come here, but, yeah, he didn't come here anymore. Now he goes to paparazzi and spends his money there. Nick says, is he capable of murder? To which Jeanette replies, aren't we all?

Janette:

The scrutiny of something like this could put our community at great risk.

Nick:

I've thought of that. Charles Duchamp had a son.

Janette:

Sean. Yes. He used to come in here. Very lost and empty young man. He spends his money at paparazzi now.

Nick:

Is he capable of murder?

Rachel:

Aren't we old? I love Jeanette. Just the

Matt:

Good job, Jeanette. Just just just Yeah. Keeping him on his toes.

Rachel:

Yeah. She's like, yes. I am, you are, we are, everyone is capable of murder. And she goes, trouble and money are not good things to have together, so cover your assets, mon amor.

Janette:

Trouble and money. It's a very dangerous combination. Cover your assets, monamour.

Rachel:

This episode. I mean, a lot happens. It's a lot of like, okay. Now this guy is at this computer transferring money to here, and then he goes over here and he transfers that money there. And I think it must get shuffled between, like, 6 different Swiss bank accounts over the course of this whole episode because then Sean is again transferring money, except this time, he's transferring the full amount of Nick's, Berbat Foundation out into his own Swiss bank account.

Rachel:

And then Nick goes to see Natalie, and she tells him that the fragments from the body are Japanese in origin. And he's I forget. They see something on the circuit board. He go, it's the Daichiwa is what he calls it.

Matt:

Yeah. It was some kind of, surface finish on the metal.

Rachel:

Yeah. Like a coating. It's a garage door over here.

Matt:

It's a distinctive Yeah. I don't know, manufacturing

Rachel:

Yeah. What artifact. What Japanese company still makes stuff? Sony? I was gonna say Samsung

Matt:

their own things.

Rachel:

Korea. I was thinking, like, is it a Sony garage door opener? Like, what is happening here? It's not Samsung that's carrying.

Matt:

In the nineties, Japan did a lot more, like, silicon fabrication than China did. And so maybe

Rachel:

And I think garage door opener was like that was you you

Matt:

High end electronics came from Japan.

Rachel:

Yeah. And a garage door opener was high end electronics.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Yeah. Yeah. And then we go back, and Skanky is continuing his I saw the winning lottery numbers.

Matt:

So he's trying to get up everybody for a dollar.

Rachel:

These 2 people.

Matt:

Go to the bank, withdraw $1.

Rachel:

A dollar? I mean, it's the nineties, so that's, like, $5. But But he's still he's trying to get something in Wilkerson. So these are this other group to try to give him money, and he ends up going after this woman who this is like this over the top, almost like god. I'm referencing a lot of other properties.

Rachel:

This this is a really funny episode for this. But remember we watched Love Bites, and it was sergeant Farfalon. This lady reminds me of sergeant Farfalon because she's like, no. Uh-uh. And he's like, come on, baby.

Rachel:

Just give me $1. A loony. That's all I need. And she's like, no. No.

Rachel:

Not after last time. And he's like, last time? What last time? She goes, remember when you got me to bet on that horse race?

Matt:

No. No. No. No. No.

Matt:

No. No. No.

Nick:

No. Listen to me. I saw the winning numbers. They floated into my mind like a vision.

Matt:

Uh-uh. I don't think so, Skanky.

Nick:

Oh, come on. Why not?

Matt:

Because the last time you suckered me into something like this

Nick:

Last time?

Matt:

That's your bed at the racetrack. You remember the horse that refused to leave the gate.

Nick:

Just had nerves. By the time she started going, though, she set a track record.

Matt:

So what? The race was over.

Nick:

To moot point.

Rachel:

And he's like, oh, yeah.

Matt:

She's didn't even leave Yeah. The starting block.

Rachel:

Leave the starting block? And he's like, yeah. But when he got going, it set a track record.

Matt:

Yes. In the precinct.

Rachel:

Of course, he does. You know, he's that, like, sweet older detective who's been around forever, and everybody just likes him, but also just kind of puts up with him all at the same time. But you know who doesn't put up a skanky ever is Cohen, because Cohen's like, skanky, my office. So she goes in her office.

Matt:

And she starts quoting the rule book at it.

Rachel:

Reading the rule book. She's like, you shall not solicit nor gamble nor bribe nor engage in blah blah blah blah.

Matt:

Shall not engage in nor solicit nor encourage contributions, wagers, bets, or gambling of any kind pursuant to section a of city bylaw 45993. Do you have anything to say for yourself, detective Skanky?

Nick:

Well, I'm glad Nick's here.

Rachel:

What do you have to say for yourself, skanky? And then he waits, and Nick walks in, and he goes, I'm glad Nick's here. And Nick's like, oh, you know, it was a it was a bomb. They used a remote garage door opener, and Skanky goes, ah, plastique pull chuck. Okay.

Matt:

I'm so glad that Skanky gets too, like oh, maybe it wasn't Skanky, but that they had to come up with, like, clever nicknames.

Rachel:

Plus, Jake Polchuck?

Matt:

Or these criminals. They're like serial criminals.

Rachel:

Oh, yeah. There's only one person who could have possibly built a bomb with a remote garage door opener. It must have been Plastique Pulchuck. And Cohen's like, isn't he at Millhaven? And Skanky is like, nope.

Rachel:

Just paroled, or Nick says, just paroled. And, you know, we just put our feelers out to see where he's at. She's like, okay. Go ask him. See what happened.

Matt:

The the, like, high end garage door opener may have been a, like, a signature of Polchuck's style.

Rachel:

It's like being of explosives. Barney, I kill people with the hammer, Smith. So every time people get killed with a hammer, you're like, could it be the I kill with a it's like

Matt:

Somebody got killed with a hammer. Was it Barney the hammer?

Rachel:

That's how I feel about mob nicknames, the, you know, on the window, whatever. I push people out the window. Okay. Well, then

Matt:

The defenestrator. The word defenestrate means to throw somebody out a window. Okay.

Rachel:

Thank you. Hang on.

Matt:

I've seen, several several, skits Yeah. Whatever about how it's weird that we have a word that just means to throw another person out of a window.

Rachel:

Well, it's a problem. Okay.

Matt:

It's a problem.

Rachel:

Modern problems need modern solutions and modern definitions and modern nomenclature. But you're distracting me from the most important part of this next section, which is we meet Felix Twist, who is apparently Nick's financial adviser.

Matt:

Is this This is the vampire gardener. Okay. He is a vampire. Yeah.

Rachel:

Because he says the indoor greenhouse has been a boon to the vampire gardener. He says, as long as I don't make contact with the grow lights, we all live in happy harmony, which is something you should probably take to heart rather than continuing your foolish quest

Matt:

from mortality. Spectrum electrical lighting. I can see that as a boon to the vampire gardener.

Rachel:

Yeah. He says plants are the answer, not money. You you just give them a little light and dirt and water and love, And he's got flowers. It's like tropical, and there's elevator music.

Matt:

And then he's like, oh, where did my personal computer go?

Rachel:

His little IR terminal. I can't even remember

Nick:

where I

Rachel:

put it. His little his little PalmPilot thing that he goes up.

Matt:

His pre Wi Fi wireless communication.

Rachel:

He goes, this has an IR terminal directly to my And he's like, I shall use it to check your account, and so he just like sits down and sets it on his lap. I wish we had gotten more of this, more world building in the vampire community, not just like there is Nick who wants to be human, and then there's a semi rotating cast of other vampires who all hate Nick for various reasons. And they come in, and then they go out. And we don't get a sense that there is a community of vampires who all have niche skills that they rely on each other for.

Matt:

Right. Without, like, a governmental structure.

Rachel:

Right. Because we have Aristotle, and he's the guy who gets you a new identity. Right. And then apparently, we have Felix who is the guy who handles your assets. Remember I talked about what happens to you if you have to flee Mhmm.

Rachel:

And you leave all your stuff behind? Who goes and gets it? Well, like Felix would. You would contact Felix and be like, hey. I had to ditch that apartment.

Rachel:

Can you pack it up and put it in storage for me and manage my accounts? You skim off the top, that's how you pay yourself, then you can have as many indoor greenhouses as you want. You can have this interesting interconnected community without having government, without having vampire government. And I think that would have been far more interesting than just the lone wolf vampire that everybody hates. Yeah.

Rachel:

Except Jeanette, who hate fucks him sometimes. Like, there's really no I mean, it just I don't know. It feels like a missed opportunity, because how fun is this little interaction? Where Nick has a very different accent than he normally has. He doesn't have his Canadian accent.

Rachel:

He has more of a, like, formal accent when he's talking to Felix, And he actually has a slightly different mannerism when he's talking to Felix. So he's more himself when he's talking to Felix. So we could have gotten the, here's the guy I am around Skanky. Here's the guy I am around Natalie. Here's the guy I am around the other vampires.

Rachel:

And yet, this is the last episode of season 2. So, anyway, it turns out that Felix helped him set up his account, and he created this whole fail safe system where something happened to Charles, it would all automatically be transferred into another bank account.

Matt:

An electronic trigger.

Rachel:

Yeah. An electronic trigger. What would have triggered it? Just his death? Like

Matt:

You'd have to have somebody

Rachel:

Somebody would have to go in and put that information in. Change Charles' employment status to deceased.

Matt:

Right. Or or with, deck record death records.

Rachel:

But there would have been no Internet. What would have been checking? He set that account up 50 years ago. That account has been around since 1945.

Matt:

Who knows?

Rachel:

And don't the Internet existed in 1945 to me?

Matt:

Cell phones existed in

Rachel:

19 forties. No. If everybody didn't have them, then it doesn't count.

Matt:

Oh, not not some, like, niche technical expert.

Rachel:

Yeah. Okay. Some supercomputer over there had the Internet and some supercomputer over there could talk to it. Okay. Great.

Rachel:

But I didn't have a computer in my house until I was in high school, so the Internet didn't exist until I was in high school. And that's the rules.

Matt:

They didn't say they set up the electronic trigger 50 years ago. Just that as of 1995, an electronic trigger exists.

Rachel:

That's fair. But it doesn't matter anyway because the money is just gone. The account's been closed. And honestly, if I were Nick, I would be searching my car for bugs because how does the claw always know what to talk about on the radio program? Is

Matt:

he Telepathy.

Rachel:

I mean, I think that's what we're supposed to get. Yes. That he is always tuned in to Nick's thoughts, feelings, and emotions. But can you imagine? I mean, I love my children.

Rachel:

I love my children a lot. The idea of being constantly connected to what they are thinking and doing That

Matt:

would be more exhausting than just sitting in the room with them.

Rachel:

My daughter came in to drink coffee with us the other morning. She made herself a cup of half cocoa and half coffee, and she was just sitting with us because she likes to think she's she's 30 plus, and she's got a career she's a career woman at 10. So she came in to sit with us in the morning, and she was making, like, to the juice, making a fake yawning sound, and I thought I was going to die. And I ended up just politely excusing myself and going in the other room because I have a really hard time with all those mouth sounds. And the thought that then for 800 years, I'd be plugged into that, and her way of attempting to connect to it, which is really cute.

Rachel:

She tries to have adult conversations, which are very sweet, but it ends up just being repetitions of things or things we've already talked about before because it's it's known territory. She knows she can talk about that, and she can talk about that fluently and feel mature saying it. And after a while, the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th time she's reiterating something to you, you kind of want to claw your eyes out with a dull spoon. And can you imagine how much shit Lacroix has had to listen to in Nick's head? One, you know he always has show tunes stuck in his head.

Rachel:

Just yeah. Or the Fred Mullen songs. But like

Matt:

Yes. He always has

Rachel:

the Fred Mullen song. I got those stuck in his head. And he's probably always just

Matt:

Or just the constant negative self talk.

Rachel:

Yeah. God, those stupid things. Stupid. You should have said that.

Matt:

God, I'm so hungry.

Rachel:

I'm so hungry. What is what is skanky talking again? Why have we stopped for hot dogs? I don't want to stop for hot dogs. I just wanna go.

Rachel:

Hot dogs make my car smell bad. I don't like it when my car smells bad. Can I get in this can I get skanky to clean my car again? How many times can I hit hypnotize Skanky into cleaning my car before he gets suspicious?

Matt:

It's like in it's like in, Men in Black. There's there's the one guy that they just mind wipe him, like, too many times. Yeah. And they're like, you're just gonna have, like, permanent brain damage.

Rachel:

But after LaCroix's appropriately themed radio program, which LaCroix is a broken record this episode, it's mostly Blood Money bad, bad Nicholas, bad bad. You did bad things bad.

Nick:

It is said that nature will not tolerate excess as in the case of those who take more than their fair share, they're dealt with accordingly.

Rachel:

Bed bat. And then we go into the flashback, and this is him actually killing his coconspirator. He gets killed by the sword, but, of course, it doesn't work. He just, like, stands up, pushes this guy against the wall, and then he ends up killing him with his teeth. And this is when the claw is like, your blood money, has it been a blessing or

Matt:

a curse?

Nick:

For when you have too much, there will always be someone wanting to take it away from you. So maybe you should ask yourself, has your blood money been a blessing or a curse?

Rachel:

Because he's had to deal with this the burden of material wealth for so many years. Well, I would argue that to the charities that were given $80,000,000, it kinda felt like a blessing.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

I think if we hadn't thrown that he gives most of it to charity line in there, I could be like, okay. Yeah. He's constantly having to worry about moving it around and attributing it to himself without giving himself away.

Nick:

Mhmm.

Rachel:

And if anyone ever figures out he has it, he'll become a very public figure, and he can't be a public figure because then he won't be able to transfer that money anymore. And it just that that whole complexity would get tiresome. But he does a lot of good things with it. So how much of a burden can it really be? And he's off on his own agenda right now.

Rachel:

He's trying to figure out what Sean is up to without involving Skanky because he can't involve Skanky in this. So he goes back to paparazzi and he's trying to get in, and the bouncer won't let him in even though he's a police officer. And he ends up hypnotizing the bouncer because his bouncer is like, my boss says I can't let Ebony in, and he's like, that's because your boss is a moron, and you need to let me and all of my friends in. And the bouncer's like, okay. Yeah.

Rachel:

Sure, buddy. Go ahead.

Matt:

All of his friends, which is just everybody else

Rachel:

Everybody else in line of sight. For the next approximately 5 to 10 minutes before the guy shakes it off.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

But where Skanky actually is is they figured out where Plastique Pull Chuck is staying, and Skanky's on his way to the motel, and he's like, meet me there. And Nick's like, heck yeah. Meet you there. I'll be there in very shortly. I'll I just got one thing one thing, and Skanky is on his way, and he gets to the motel.

Rachel:

And he waits because Nick isn't coming. Nick is on business, the empire business, because he sneaks in and he's like standing in the middle of the paparazzi thing. And then all of a sudden he's up outside the door to Jules Watkins' office, and Sean is in there getting strong armed. They're like, yeah. I know you didn't kill your dad, because I did, partner.

Rachel:

I want half the money. I want 200 and, whatever, 50 some $1,000,000. That's all I want. It's all I'm asking for. And he's like, no.

Rachel:

I'm not gonna give it to you. I don't owe you that money. It's my money. But Sean ends up storming out. He's like, oh my god.

Rachel:

You killed my dad. This sucks. Everything sucks. I'm so life is so hard for me. And then he leaves.

Rachel:

And as soon as he leaves, Jules picks up the phone, but we don't see who he calls.

Matt:

What is Jules doing?

Rachel:

What could Jules be doing? And can we pause a moment? Because we've glossed over something that's really important in this episode, and I'm really surprised you didn't call me out on it. But that's okay because I have a note here to remind me in case I missed it, which is the curl mullet. Oh, the perm mullet.

Rachel:

The the perm mullet.

Matt:

The Yes. Flash back. Per mullet in the flashback.

Rachel:

In the flashback.

Matt:

Yes. I had that slipped my mind.

Rachel:

Had or had you blocked it out? Like a trauma reaction. We've had some mullets. Okay? We've had some pretty spectacular mullets.

Matt:

Dubious hairstyles in the flashbacks.

Rachel:

Yes. And we've had, you know, some believable mullets, some unbelievable mullets. What the fuck is this?

Matt:

This is an unbelievable mullet.

Rachel:

What is that? I have never seen a wig that looks more like a wig in my life.

Matt:

And it looks like 2 wigs.

Rachel:

They were like, they put it on him and they're like, too short. They just cut the bottom half off another one and glued it on the back. And then they were like

Matt:

That's exactly what they did.

Rachel:

See our TV. No one's gonna notice. He looks French like that. It's fine. It's perfectly fine.

Rachel:

What was that? You know, we had the cowboy episode where he looked really good. I do enjoy the cowboy outfit, and we've had a couple of really good outfits back to back, and then they were just, like, fuck it. Can I fight with a sword in it? Yeah.

Rachel:

Then glue that shit to my head. I got stuff in

Matt:

it. Production. Yeah. They burned through the costume hairdressing budget already. Yeah.

Matt:

And but they have to get one more episode out.

Rachel:

Yeah. And Jennette's actually in, like, a a male outfit she has on, like, puffy pants and a shirt and then, like, a a jaunty angled hat. I actually quite like her hat, but I just wanted to make sure everybody knew we did not miss the mullet. Don't worry. And as we have established, Nick's soul has a mullet.

Rachel:

So maybe if he lets his hair grow out for long enough, it always ends up in a mullet no matter what.

Matt:

Like, your hair only grows so long before it falls out, and the follicle starts growing a new hair. Yeah. And maybe the hair towards the front of his head Yeah. Has a much higher turnover rate, so his hair can only grow, like, up to 4 inches before it falls out and his hair starts growing.

Rachel:

Maybe the mullet is metaphorical.

Matt:

For his dual lifestyle?

Rachel:

For his dual nature.

Matt:

His struggle between party and business. Okay. Okay. Okay. Is the vampire the party or the business?

Rachel:

I don't know that, Matthew.

Matt:

Or his his human persona, the party or the business?

Rachel:

I don't think we can answer that question. I think that's a question everyone has to answer for themselves. Which part is the human and which part is the vampire? Is it the party, or is it the business? What give him the business, Marty.

Rachel:

What was that from? Oh, that was never mind. I was relistening to father figure because the scene where he's bottling the blood is so hysterical because I lose it so badly. And I keep thinking I need to go back and make me quieter and redo that audio, but it's magic. I'll never redo it.

Rachel:

But he that's when he's like, shoulda read the shoulda checked your arithmetic modi. Remember?

Matt:

Shoulda checked your arithmetic modi. Canadian hitman Ever. Taunt.

Rachel:

Oh, season 1. But Sean is leaving because Sean is sad about his lot in life being a son of a wealthy man who got himself into trouble, and then nobody came and got him out of it. The shit? That's not how life works. So he's drunk, and he gets in the car.

Rachel:

And wouldn't you know it, Nick's already in the car.

Matt:

Well well well.

Rachel:

Nick's already in the car. He's like, it's open. Just come in. And so he gets in the car, and he's like, isn't this breaking and entering? Isn't that illegal?

Rachel:

And he's like, isn't driving drunk illegal? Looks like we're even. So let's just have a chat. What happened to the money, Sean? He's like, oh, I don't know.

Rachel:

That's all confidential. And he's like, is it would you rather tell me, or would you rather tell a judge? And then he tries hypnotizing him, but I have to imagine because he's drunk, it doesn't work. He's like, where's the money, Sean? And Sean's just like, oh god.

Rachel:

What? Doesn't answer. And then he's like

Matt:

Nick's off his game. Yeah. Because of the blood money.

Rachel:

Well, he's riled up. He's he's all hot and bothered about it.

Matt:

He's personally attached to the money.

Rachel:

Yeah.

Matt:

And and it's got him preoccupied.

Rachel:

But Sean is giving him no answers. And so Nick's like, cool. And he takes his key out of the ignition. And Joan's like, well, how am I supposed to get home? And he goes, that's funny.

Rachel:

Because a minute ago, you had all the answers. You're a big boy. I think you're going to figure this out. But here's a piece of advice. Right now, you're swimming in self importance, but you'll drown eventually.

Rachel:

This money will drag you down. I mean, I know money doesn't buy happiness. Right? That's the whole theme we're going for here, but I would really like the opportunity to try. I would like the opportunity to learn that lesson for myself.

Rachel:

So co join our Patreon. Just kidding. But skanky gets, skanky gets blown up because what Jules was doing was detonating the bomb that he had placed in Plastique Polchuck's motel room.

Nick:

Oh.

Rachel:

You live by the bomb, you die by the bomb.

Matt:

That he had a second explosive assassin.

Rachel:

Yes. Yeah. He he bombed the first guy, and then he had the 1st bomber bombed.

Matt:

When he when he wraps it all up, it's a very neat little package to intimidate Sean.

Rachel:

Yeah. It's very flashy. That's why. Because bombs are flashy. I don't know how he knew this, but there are this many active bombers in Toronto at this time, but that's fine.

Rachel:

Maybe they were all mob guys. They were like Tony the bomb tone tone or whatever. I don't have a good last name. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Rachel:

But they go back to the precinct, and Skanky's there. And he's like, oh, yeah. I just had to give him my name, the year, get 3 stitches, and they kicked me out. So I'm perfectly fine. I got 3 stitches and a lot of luck.

Matt:

And But not a buck.

Rachel:

Yeah. Well, he's dropped that at this point. He he's got bigger things on his mind because Right. Right. The first one was a garage door opener.

Rachel:

This one is a pager, and they're, like, oh, that's not they don't know that guy on the internet. That's Tony the But what they do know is that the serial number on the bomb or the serial number on the pager was Sean's pagers registered to Sean. And so Sean's like, oh, they bring him in, of course, because this is enough. This pager that blew this guy up was connected to him. So they bring him in for questioning.

Rachel:

And they're like, oh, okay. So what happened to your pager? And he's like, man, I don't know. I haven't used it in, like, months months, and they're like, oh, that's funny. Look at all these numbers that have been calling you.

Rachel:

That one's a drug dealer. That That one's a drug dealer. That one's a

Matt:

drug dealer. Do you

Rachel:

do drugs, Sean? And Sean doesn't say either way. He's just like, listen. I was with Nick. Didn't he tell you he came and talked to me already?

Rachel:

And, and, how could I have done that? I couldn't made a phone call. What do I have? A phone that I can just take out of my pocket and call from anywhere? What kind of what kind of time do you think this is?

Rachel:

It wasn't me. And Nick's like, yeah. Actually, that that tracks because he was with me, and he couldn't have had time to but he's only thinking that, because we're in the interrogation room. We're not, like, playing our hand to Sean yet, because Skanky is still going. And he's like, you can't buy your way out of murder, Sean, and there's no penthouse at Millhaven.

Rachel:

And then they walk out, and Cohen's walking by and she's like, yes. Yes. Of course. Lawyer of Sean, you may now enter the room. Here you go.

Rachel:

And so she, like, lets him in. And Skanky and Nick are like, who's that? And she's like, oh, it's his lawyer. I didn't have all night to get into a spinning contest with his lawyer, so it's easier for me to just let him in. And Skanky goes, she'd win, though.

Matt:

Millhaven, for reference for context, is a maximum security prison in Bath, Ontario.

Rachel:

Okay. That's why we've mentioned it twice in this episode. Yeah. And then they follow Cohen, so they leave the interrogation room. Skanky makes that crack, and they end up following Cohen all the way past, like, through the precinct and into her office.

Rachel:

And she goes, why are you following me?

Nick:

Who's that?

Matt:

Duchamp's lawyer.

Nick:

We're letting Junior go?

Matt:

We don't have enough to hold him, and I don't need to be up all night engaged in a spitting contest with his attorney.

Nick:

Then she'd win.

Matt:

I heard that. Fuck. Why are you following me?

Nick:

I think we should tail him.

Matt:

You'll slap us with harassment.

Nick:

Why do you keep giving this creep the benefit of the doubt? What time's your watch safe? It broke in the explosion. Exactly. What time does it say?

Nick:

125. Yeah. Well, I was with Sean at that time. He couldn't have dialed the number that set off the bomb.

Rachel:

And Nick's like, we need to tail him. He's being set up. And Cohen's like, oh, oh, is he? And Skanky's like, oh, he is? And Nick's like, yes.

Rachel:

I do it all along. Nick's like, yeah. Put it together. Look. They blew up his dad, and they tried to frame him.

Rachel:

And then they killed Plastique Polchak, which was a way of erasing

Matt:

With his pager.

Rachel:

With his pager, which was a way of erasing the evidence of the you know, who hired Plasti Polchak and closing the vice a little tighter on whatever it is they're trying to get Sean to do. And I think when he leaves here tonight, he's not going home. He's going to make his move, and we need to be tailing him. And Cohen's like, I just had a long conversation with a very expensive lawyer, and I think that's a terrible idea. We're gonna get saddled with harassment.

Rachel:

And he's like, I I honestly think this is our best shot of getting him. And Cohen goes, we never had this conversation, which Nick is like, I can make you forget.

Matt:

Let's make this official.

Rachel:

Let's make this official. And so, of course, they do. They follow him. And so Sean goes to Maison Duchamp probably to get money, and this is when he gets picked up. And Skanky is like, oh, okay.

Rachel:

Look. They're getting him right now. We should probably step in. There's a suspect. They're kidnapping him right now, and Nick's like, no.

Rachel:

Not yet. Not yet. And so they take Sean to the paparazzi, the club. And we find out, for sure, because the plot of this episode is so convoluted, we could never have guessed that Jules is framing him. And he has the other bomber, not the first bomber, but the second bomber tied up in his office.

Rachel:

And he's like, I want half of the foundation, not just what you owe me. It's a simple question of greed. I'm greedy. You have money. We can make this work.

Rachel:

Or I can kill this guy and make it look like you did it. I'm gonna kill him either way, but I could either make it look like you did it, or I can do it quietly. You decide. But this is Nick and Skanky are listening. They're sitting on these stairs outside the building.

Matt:

Yes. Skanky's got the headphones and the,

Rachel:

like Skanky's got the whole rig. Nick is pointing it. He's got his hand on the glass. He's pointing the, like, the sound thing so that Skanky can hear what's happening in this room. Nick is wearing fuck all.

Rachel:

Fuck all. He's not wearing headphones. He's not wearing fake headphones. He's just sitting on the steps.

Matt:

But he's like, shh, skanky. Be quiet. I'm listening.

Rachel:

Skanky and he are having a conversation that implies Skanky is fully aware that Nick can hear what's happening in the building knowing

Matt:

About the equipment.

Rachel:

Knowing Skanky is the only one wearing the the equipment that allows him to hear what's going on. Maybe he thinks he

Matt:

has the headphones turned up real loud.

Rachel:

Maybe he think Nick is really good at lip reading. Although it can't be, because from where they're sitting, he can see the computer screen, so they must be up and behind everybody

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Which means he wouldn't see Jules' face at all. And

Matt:

this is This only reinforces the skanky nose.

Rachel:

Right. I mean, again, canonically, he doesn't. But he does he? Does he not? You can squint a little and make it very easily.

Rachel:

You can very easily say he knows and he's just not. He's letting Nick have his space. He's being a bro. And this is when Jules confesses the whole thing. He's like, somebody fetch my PowerPoint.

Rachel:

I'm about to break out the I'm about to break down my bully points. And Skanky goes, damn. I hate it when this happens. And Nick goes, what? And he goes, you were right.

Nick:

Damn. I hate when that happens. What? You're right about the kid being blackmailed. How'd you know?

Nick:

I had a vision.

Rachel:

And this is when Sean's like, look, I'll transfer it. I'll transfer it all right now. Don't don't kill that guy. Don't kill me. I'll give you all the money.

Rachel:

So this is when Skanky and Nick are listening, and they hear that this guy's getting ready to kill Sean. This is a very precarious situation. This man is standing there with a gun on Sean, and he's getting ready to transfer this money, and Skanky's like, okay. Cool. We got everything we need.

Rachel:

Let's get in there. And Nick's like, shh, not yet. He's like, don't do it. Don't go yet, just like he did before. He's like, no, no, wait.

Rachel:

Let's set. Wait, wait, wait. We gotta wait for a shot. We gotta wait for a shot.

Matt:

Past the right moment.

Rachel:

Let's get a paper trail, skanky, and then he's like, phew, like reading the Swiss bank account number. He's like, hang on just a minute.

Matt:

I just gotta get a memorizing the numbers?

Rachel:

Yeah. Hang on. I gotta memorize the number on this computer screen that's 30 feet below me.

Matt:

Well, he doesn't tell Skanky that he's memorizing the account codes. He's just telling Skanky to let him do it so that there is

Rachel:

Oh, no. I know that.

Matt:

Paper trail.

Rachel:

Yeah. Yeah.

Matt:

Yeah. But Skanky knows.

Rachel:

But this situation is so precarious. It basically be like, this is a hostage situation. They're like, 30 seconds, and I'm gonna shoot you. And it goes, hang on. Let him shoot him.

Rachel:

Then we'll have proof.

Matt:

Yeah. Yeah. Basically. But this blood money is very important to Nicholas.

Rachel:

Well, it's important because exposing it exposes him, which exposes a lot. Right? It's a 50 year old account that has had one person in charge of it, and that person is not 50. So we go into one more flashback just because Nick needed to pass the time for a minute, I guess, because it's really short. And it's just like Lacroix saying, leave leave the chest.

Rachel:

Let's just dip. It's fine. Like, we can rob anybody we kill, and we can build material wealth that way. Think of it as like a side hustle. It's perfectly fine.

Rachel:

And Nick's like, uh-uh, I want that money. And this is when Lacroix says material wealth is a burden. And then he and Jeanette fly off.

Matt:

Which is, I don't know, fairly

Rachel:

Fairly enlightened for Lacroix. You know what it does?

Matt:

It feels very enlightened of Lacroix to say and to, like, persist in saying, you should not be holding on to any material wealth.

Rachel:

Right. And now I know with our 19 nineties context lenses on, we're not really supposed to draw parallels episode to episode. But you have to look at this Nicholas, who goes through all of this trouble to just have an adventure where he gets to kill a bunch of people and steal some money so he can pretend he's like a swashbuckling adventure person or whatever. And you're like, and yet you didn't want Fleur to be made into a vampire. Like, you get to go off and have the best time, and Fleur got to live for 5 years, pop out a kid, and die.

Rachel:

Right. I'm not over it. That's why I don't watch the be my Valentine episode very often, even though I love that episode, because it takes me a long time to get over it. Because knowing that Nick took that away from her, and then what he did with what was actually given to him.

Matt:

Right.

Rachel:

Which is to just fuck around and find out for 800 years, sometimes with a lot of, things that we can feel empathetic towards and sometimes just as an immortal fuck boy. Mhmm. Okay. I will eventually get over that. I swear to god.

Rachel:

I will. By season 3. I'll get over it. Oh, you know what? By tonight.

Rachel:

So this is when he transfers all the money. He's like, there. Done. It's yours. I transferred it.

Rachel:

It's done. And, Jules is like, great. Thanks. Pow pow. And he kills the bomber, and then he's like, okay.

Rachel:

You better run. And then then Nick is like, okay. Now, skanky. Now we get to do stuff. And he tells him, you try the doors.

Rachel:

I'll take the roof.

Matt:

Which is just a more specific way to say go around.

Rachel:

You go down and try the doors. I'm gonna fly up to the roof and attempt to get in that way. Are they on stairs that go all the way to the roof? Does Skanky have a reason to believe that

Matt:

They're on a stairwell on the outside of the building, so it's not unreasonable that the stairs could go all

Rachel:

the way. To the roof.

Matt:

It could be like a fire escape.

Rachel:

And then we get I don't know. It's like a 3 stooges chase around the paparazzi.

Matt:

This is so ridiculous. At one point, there's hands adjusting lighting stuff, and it took us a minute to figure out whose hands are there.

Rachel:

Times. It was like, did Nick turn on the lights? Did Sean turn on the lights? That was

Matt:

like, beefy hands. Those are beefy hands. Those are not Gare's monster hands.

Rachel:

No. I monster fingers. Monster fingers. Yeah. No.

Rachel:

I think monster hands. I do. This is referencing an early episode. I just wanna make sure that, you know, if Karen ever listens to this, I don't think your hands are monstrous. Okay?

Rachel:

It's just like so it's thing, though.

Matt:

Distinctive way he pulls his hands that you have dubbed

Rachel:

monster hands. Correct.

Matt:

Not that his hands look like a monster.

Rachel:

That is exactly the distinction I wanted to make so

Matt:

quickly.

Rachel:

So Sean, I think, is the one

Matt:

who does his fingers. Don't even Sounds like you're calling his fingers

Rachel:

monsters. I'm not, though. I'm not. Okay? So, anyway, I think Sean's the one who turns to me.

Rachel:

I don't know. It's very, like you know, the 19 forties or fifties comedies?

Matt:

When he went back into the office and was typing at the computer again, those hands looked beefy enough to be the same hands that

Rachel:

Yeah.

Matt:

Did the lights. So I think that's who did it.

Rachel:

But this feels like you know those early movie comedies where you'd have a fixed camera angle and people would, like, run-in one door,

Matt:

run out another door. Looking down a hallway and they keep coming in and out of them.

Rachel:

That that's exactly what this feels like, like the with the vaudeville music playing in the background, except not. It's nineties club music playing in the background. But, eventually, Nick is chasing everybody. Nick takes out the 2 henchmen. 1 of them, I think he knocks out.

Rachel:

The other one, he vamps out in front of, and the guy gets so scared he falls backwards down the stairs. Which

Matt:

calls into question. If you scare somebody with your teeth so that they fall down the stairs

Rachel:

Is that killing somebody with

Matt:

your teeth? Is that killing somebody with your teeth? Which is the only caveat we've had to Nick's continued assertion insistence that he has not killed anybody in a 100 years, parenthesis, with my teeth. Yeah. But now he used his teeth.

Matt:

I would say

Rachel:

actual teeth contact would have to occur.

Matt:

Right.

Rachel:

He the stairs killed him.

Matt:

I have not killed anybody, parenthesis, by draining their blood with my teeth. Correct. So we we just had to refine the caveat.

Rachel:

Exactly. Okay. The stairs killed this guy. Alright.

Matt:

Gravity.

Rachel:

Gravity. Alright. If you wanna blame anyone, blame me.

Matt:

It's it's a skill issue. It's a lie I've heard lately.

Rachel:

But Sean has doubled back, and now he's in walk in's office because greed wins out.

Matt:

Oh, I I wanna say

Rachel:

Okay.

Matt:

Much earlier in the episode, somebody comes up and talks to Sean, and he says, I don't care what mister Walken thinks. And I thought he was talking about Christopher Walken. And I thought maybe there was some, like, pop culture reference of something Christopher Walken did, like, as, like, a character that he portrayed or whatever. And I was like, oh, like, I didn't get that pop culture reference. And then it's at the end when we, like, use this guy's full name and say, this guy is such and such a walk in.

Rachel:

And I was

Matt:

like, oh. Oh, they were not talking about they were not making a pulp cut culture reference about Christopher Walken. They were talking about this character who just happens to have the last name Walken.

Rachel:

Yeah. Yes. But they end up in the 3 point standoff. You know, we have Walken who's holding a gun on Sean, and Nick is holding a gun on walk in, and skanky arrives after having gotten him himself in through all the vaudeville chasing. And they are all pointing their guns at Walken.

Rachel:

And so Walken ends up turning his gun to try to shoot Nick or he's turning his gun. Skanky shoots Walken. Nick shoots the computer monitor. Womp womp. Which doesn't actually do anything.

Rachel:

You just need to get a new monitor and plug it into the tower. And you know what? This always reminds me, every time

Matt:

Here here's here's where what he may have been thinking. If the computer is just sitting there and it's still at the screen that shows, like, here's your last transaction, blah blah blah. You shoot the monitor on some old computers. You would have to restart the computer when you connect a new monitor. So he may be thinking along those lines, like, I destroyed this piece of equipment.

Matt:

It's going to be have to be, like, power cycled before anybody could

Rachel:

Okay. And it will erase whatever was happening.

Matt:

Which would reset

Rachel:

Gotcha.

Matt:

You know, your browser. This would have had to be, like, a a an application specifically for

Rachel:

Yeah. He said he has a modem connected directly to his Swiss bank account.

Matt:

Whatever that means.

Rachel:

Whatever that means.

Matt:

Bank accounts are not on the Internet.

Rachel:

But anytime we destroy the monitor as a way of destroying whatever was happening on the computer, It always reminds me of the scene from Zoolander when the 2 models are trying to get the computer files, the incriminating computer files, and she's like, no. The files are in the computer, and they're like, in the computer?

Matt:

So this but it's an Imac.

Rachel:

Yeah. The the colorful Imac. So they end up smashing it, and they're like, there's no files in here.

Matt:

Where are the files? It's like, you just destroyed the hard drive.

Rachel:

You know, Skarsgard. Alexander Skarsgard is in that movie?

Matt:

Yes.

Rachel:

Yeah. He's one of the models from the very beginning. The orange mocha frappuccino.

Matt:

Yes.

Rachel:

God, I miss it.

Matt:

I remember we we did watch Zoolander one time after we had watched True Blood.

Rachel:

Yeah. I miss the orange mocha frappuccino. That was really good. It tasted like those oranges you get at Christmas.

Matt:

Orangeicle. Oh, no. No. No.

Rachel:

Orange mocha.

Matt:

Orange mocha.

Rachel:

Yeah. Tasted like those oranges, those chocolate oranges. I'm not

Matt:

a fan. I like the chocolate oranges, like the actual chocolate, but I wasn't a fan of.

Rachel:

And I knew we were never

Matt:

gonna work out long term.

Rachel:

I just knew we were never gonna work out long term.

Matt:

I tried your mocha latte the other day, and it wasn't great.

Rachel:

What mocha latte did I get? At the museum. Oh, okay. You don't like chocolate coffee?

Matt:

I don't like chocolate coffee.

Rachel:

Alright. Well, that's fair. Okay. Anyway, Sean gets off free. Sean doesn't go to prison.

Rachel:

Sean just gets to leave, and Skanky's like, hold up. What was that? And Cohen's like, sorry. He didn't do anything illegal. Nothing showed up in the audit because Nick's thing is so deep underground.

Matt:

Right. So the only illegal thing that he did was steal the money from the foundation. And Nick doesn't want anybody to know about the blah blah blah foundation.

Rachel:

To to the blah blah blah blah. Don't do that. The de Brebon Foundation.

Matt:

So Nick doesn't want anybody to know about the DuBois Foundation. And so Nick swept it under the rug, and that was the only thing that he did that was illegal.

Rachel:

Right. And he's like, oh, look at that. He didn't do anything. There's nothing that needs to be written up in the papers or recorded, you know, professionally for posterity or anything at all. We can just pretend like nothing happened at all.

Matt:

And this can't keep you safe. That's not fair. Normally person. Exactly. Exactly.

Rachel:

And then this is when Jenkins, who Jenkins is the sergeant Farfalon, the lady that we talked to earlier, she has a freak out because Malvoie and Lang, who were the 2 police officers that Skanky was trying to borrow money from earlier, have won the lottery. She's like, they won the lottery. They tried to get me to go in with them and I wouldn't because of you. She's like talking to Skanky. And Skanky's like, I'm having a heart attack.

Rachel:

That's what this is. It's like, my my arm's going numb.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

I think I'm having a heart attack. And then we cut to Nick because Nick celebrated by going to hang out with Jeanette, and this is a really sweet moment. It's kind of like the end of A Fate Worse Than Death when they're just sitting on the couch, and he's like, we have to learn how to live in captivity, except they're sitting on the floor. And she's still wearing the dress

Nick:

Mhmm.

Rachel:

Which has migrated south slightly. This tape is holding is pulling a lot of weight. Let's just put it that way. And Nick and Jeanette are like hanging out. They're like, you know, the club's closed.

Rachel:

Everything's getting cleaned up. They're just chilling. And Jeanette is having a conversation with them. She's like, why didn't you just let it go? You could just let it go, and you wouldn't have had to worry about it ever again.

Rachel:

It would have just been gone. And Nick's like, I don't know. So many people have died for it and because of it over the years, and I feel like I need to redeem myself. I feel like I need to keep this money and do good with it. And she's like, you would.

Matt:

It's a, it's analogous to his his vampire legacy. Yeah. You know, I got this immortality thing.

Rachel:

Thing. Yeah.

Matt:

And so many people have died for it that I wanna do something to, like, for the world that in the long term, it was a net positive. Yeah. Yeah.

Rachel:

Yep. And then she goes, oh, well, here's to your burdens and to what I might do to ease them for you.

Janette:

Tell me something. Why didn't you just let the money go?

Nick:

Too many people have died over the centuries for it. I can't change that. I can't bring them back.

Janette:

But, Nicolas, many of them were wicked.

Nick:

All the more reason to put the money to good use.

Janette:

Yes. You would do something like that. So now you have your burden back. To your burden then and do what I might do to ease it for you.

Rachel:

And then Nick, she takes a drink with her wine glass, and then she puts the wine glass down. And Nick leans in to kiss her. He actually pushes the wine glass down. Then he leans in to kiss her. Does that count?

Rachel:

She just drank blood. That's what's in the wine glass. Right. And when he leans in to kiss her, he's gonna taste that. It's like He when you drink orange juice.

Matt:

He has consumed human blood.

Rachel:

In what episode? Oh, when he was in the civil war, I guess, because that's what he was doing as a medic.

Matt:

Okay. I can't quite remember the differences between the Nick Knight movie and Dark Knight 2 part pilot.

Rachel:

Have I taught you nothing?

Matt:

In the in the TV show, did Nick drink from the, curator lady in the fight with Lacroix?

Rachel:

No. In neither. In the movie, he did?

Matt:

Uh-uh. Right? Doesn't she Uh-uh. Say, here, you need my blood? No.

Matt:

Okay.

Rachel:

No. He there's just, like, the the moment of temptation. There's, like, a heartbeat. Remember, we thought it was done better in dark night than we thought it was in Nick Knight. But he ends up overcoming Lacroix on his own steam.

Matt:

Oh, okay. Yeah. I thought in one of them, he drank her blood No. To defeat Lacroix.

Rachel:

And neither. He hasn't had human blood on screen that I've already I mean, like, when he was good in the last 100 years because he he killed a guy in the flashback in this one.

Matt:

I'm thinking my brain is saying that there was an episode where he was in The Raven, and he took a sip of Jeannette's drink.

Rachel:

Yes. He did. That is feeding the beast. So you are correct. He goes and

Matt:

gets has had human blood.

Rachel:

Yes. He goes

Matt:

and gets blood drawn. Collected it himself. Correct. Oh, and when he first met Natalie

Rachel:

yes.

Matt:

He had a human blood bag.

Rachel:

Unless she conveniently had bagged cow blood in her freezer, which I don't think she did.

Matt:

Which why would the coroner have a blood bag at all?

Rachel:

Well, we that's what we talked about. In Only But Lonely, we were like, what is she what is she transfusing? What is she doing? They don't keep it because it start blood decomposes just like everything else does, and it gets, like, sludgy. It gets thick.

Rachel:

It coagulates.

Matt:

Right. That's why they have some kind of process when they put it in a cask.

Rachel:

Yes. When they Yes. To stuff it I'm sorry. Yes. In your head canon, we've discussed that.

Rachel:

They put some vampire blood in there, and that keeps it from coagulating. Yep. Sure. That's fine. As good as anything else.

Rachel:

I had a couple of things I wanted to add. We had talked about in one of the our most recent episodes, did we think that they were aware of all the fans? And, apparently, yes. Someone messaged me, which I love the forever night fandom because so much of it is just, like, apocryphal.

Matt:

Yeah. You know? It's tribal knowledge.

Rachel:

It's tribal knowledge. So often if I say something wrong, I'll get a message from somebody that's like, I'm gonna stop. Thank you for doing this podcast. I'm gonna stop you right there. This is what happened.

Rachel:

So I got a message saying that, yes, they were aware. And in fact, there's a character in season 3 who was named after the fan club president at the time. Cool. Which I think is pretty cool. I wanted to mention that.

Rachel:

And, also, we are going to be doing a live watch along of season 3 episode 1. It's actually tonight, so you won't this will come out after we do it. Sorry. So if you missed the live watch along, you can either join our Patreon at the dollar tier and get a download of it, and then give us a dollar every month because you love us so very, very much. Or I'm going to put it up for sale.

Rachel:

So you can just buy the MP 3 for a dollar, and then you can it'll be a riff track, basically, of us. So you would watch the episode and put us on your headphones. Listen to us through the episode. We'll tell you when we're starting.

Matt:

We'll give you a couple of,

Rachel:

yeah, we'll give you a couple of, you know, milestones so we know we're on the same page, and then you can listen to us watch it in your own real time. I'm also doing a cocktail series. I have 7 forever night themed cocktails that I worked so hard to develop the recipes for. It was it was arduous. Matt can tell you there were

Matt:

Oh, yeah.

Rachel:

Many drunk nights. Matt, drink this. I've got 7 mixed cocktails. I need you to drink one of these. But I'm putting the recipes up, 1 a day, on either my Instagram account or on Patreon, which you can just follow us on Patreon for free.

Rachel:

You don't have to pay to see most of my posts, and the cocktails are going up for free. So you can head over there and get the recipe, and I think that's pretty much it. Did you have anything you wanna add? Are you excited about season 3?

Matt:

A little bit.

Rachel:

We get that big money. We get ABC money. Alright.

Matt:

Yeah. Better cameras. Oh, sure. Better, I don't know.

Rachel:

Better better vampire dog. Better vampire dog. Yes. Yes. I'm serious.

Rachel:

We need to do the vampire dog 5 k. So we're going on vacation here very shortly. And when I come back, my mission is to, add some more merch to the merch store. So maybe I will add the virtual vampire dog 5 k in support of MS Research. I think that would be an excellent thing for our podcast to organize because, wow, what an episode.

Rachel:

We're not even there yet. Alright. I guess until next time, friends.

Matt:

Until next time. Bye.