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The Infinite Game Podcast exists to capture yesterday's and today's wisdom to help us all play life at a higher level. With topics of mental health, spiritual health, and physical health being the focus for pursuing mastery in the game that matters the most: life. There will be two styles of shows, one, with Henry and Harrison talking, the other, hosting guests to glean insights from them!
The Infinite Game is a project that believes the expansion of our capacity and the shouldering of personal responsibility is the key to changing culture.
Henry how we doing doing? Well, is that big morning? Yep. I'm honestly feeling after that workout
More in my feet than anything all those double unders and power snatches overhead squats
My feet hurt. Yep. We got after it gotta win a Monday if you're listening today, I hope you've crushed your morning
And welcome. I know we haven't said welcome to this show in a long time
But I want to make this show a lot more practical night like not so much get into it immediately, but just to always respect people's
Time and what the infinite game is about. I'm excited to continue to unpack
Obviously, I'm going through the book finite in infinite games, but there's something
That is so real about the mission of how can we play life at a higher level?
you know when you get better life does get better it ripples not only it
Energizes you but it it impacts the people around you. It is an incredibly
Righteous at the wrong word, but it's the word that comes to mind. It's a real mission and so
Henry and I absolutely in this season. I know we've said it a few times before but the infrastructure layer underneath what we've been building
is
Primarily finished for this first phase. I
encourage anybody
To maybe go in the show notes click to link check out the you project website and not even to be a customer
You know because primarily we're talking to club directors
college coaches
High school coaches athletic departments. You know we're really starting with group a group focus
But just to check the details of the website if you were to see the first version and now in my head
This is a version three of the website version
5.02 of the app version one of the coaches dashboard how those all orchestrate together
It has been an unbelievable
Lesson and iteration commitment how one step reveals the next five steps
How you you have to just move forward and it is going to be so much work so much more work than you can ever
Anticipate or imagine and so you must want the thing for the thing
Yeah, you know yesterday no Saturday
You know a hundred-night joke in the fall is when we really get ahead because people are watching football
And we don't have a TV nor do I care at all like it is it is so hard to explain to somebody
how
Little I care about anything else works. Yeah anything else besides what we do. We're in our 20s
We're going as hard as we can we have to make the thing happen and so
This is when we have a lot of fun
You know Friday nights Saturday when people are watching college football Sunday when people are watching pro football
We're smiling and we're nodding and we're going as hard as we can and this podcast is part of that
But on Saturday I was I got to the end of the day, and I was proud of myself for the effort
I put in it was legitimately
11 hours straight of focused with
120 20-minute walk I ate one on a quick walk
Legitimately had like a time stamp where I would just write
to 930
930 to 1130 1130 to and just do two hour stretches and wouldn't even take breaks
I'm like that is and it's been like this for
Eight months. Yeah, which is great. I mean when you have days like that you go, you know what?
Here it is. Mm-hmm. This is what it's about. Yeah, and and it's well
I think it I put that quote on my Instagram story yesterday the idea of if your body can
Continue do not let your mind commit treason and quit. Yeah, and I if anyone watched me every morning at CrossFit
they'd think my internal my monologue was like so frustrated and pissed off and
Which I do I do get pissed off and I'm saying a lot of upset things in my head
But it's not that my body is weak because I'm understanding the process of adaption takes time
So I don't get upset when I'm struggling doing a workout like I know I'm gonna struggle
I get upset when my mind makes a weak choice
Because those weak choices that just like happen in the flow of the day are going to come back and bite you at the hardest
time the most important time. Yeah, long long time horizons are
Such the advantage of the mature like someone who's mature. I mean I was texting someone the other day and
There's something that if seen
Meaning it has to happen very soon. The probability might be very low. Yeah, but if you go now, man
I've chased this for four or five years. Yeah, I hear years the probability of that is so likely then it is I
Hear Jordan Peterson in my head all the time say you can have ever anything in you want in five years. Yeah, you can have anything you want in five years
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely
I think that's the righteous part or the exciting part of the mission of you project where it's genuinely if you understand the
Calculations of this if you spend four and a half hours on your phone in
Five years a five-year time horizon of that it is a full year of your life. It's
344 days 24 hour days
So that's why that whole mission is we are gaining days back for your dream
You have to allocate time to the things that matter. Okay, you have to have the right mental framework
But we're all time allocation right cutting yourself from distractions pouring yourself into the things that matter that is
So primary it is so
So necessary it has to happen. Yeah, and my topic today awesome one that I'm continual. I needed it this morning
I went back to refresh myself on you know, what I wanted to talk about in this show. I needed it this morning because
Again, we're breaking down finite infinite games
We talked last show about how if you're going to play a game it has to start with
It's being played from a voluntary position. If you have to play you can't play
okay, but now it gets into
finite players and I'll read it direct but
Finite players they they do something called they veil themselves to be a great
Finite player mean I'm here to win something specific. I'm here to execute something specific
You almost veil yourself and so in the book it goes to account for the large gap between the actual freedom of
finite players to step off the field of play at any time and the
Experienced and necessity to stay at the struggle we can say that as finite players
We somehow veil this freedom from ourselves some self veiling is present in all finite games players must intentionally forget the inherently
Voluntary nature of their play else all competitive effort will desert them
From the outset of finite play each part or position must be taken up with a certain seriousness
play must
See themselves as the teacher as lightweight heavyweight as mother
You must see yourself as it
That is so it's so good. Yeah, I'm good
Yeah, I need to unpack that a little bit farther. So we're talking about the the player who's seen that which they're endeavoring on
as
Not a choice
Yeah, so you're stepping into the game from position of I've chosen to be here
Yeah, but then there's something with your identity in which you've so
like merged it with
What you're playing? Mm-hmm
But yeah, you you are you there's no there's no way out
Well, and then the end it seemed like while you're playing and it seemed like what you were playing takes on a persona
That is instructing you. Yeah outside of the game itself. Well, here's I mean he so he continues on he goes even more
We make the roles believable to others
It is in the nature of acting Shaw said that we are not to see this woman as Ophelia
But Ophelia as this woman and so the more that you can embody this like
fullness congruence
Alignment with the identity like while I'm in this game, this is me
Yes, and there's something then almost like not even archetypal that comes through
But I like that end line where it's like this woman is not Ophelia Ophelia is this woman?
Yeah, like you've you've brought into yourself
The adoption of the identity. Yeah. Yeah in the ideal of the identity. Yeah, like if someone would say I am a professional athlete
That is bringing into yourself these patterns of action and perception that have been
Embodied by people who've gone before you and will come after you
It's like you have maximal belief in yourself. You have a lot of discipline
You're very steadfast to the plant you and so you start to take on all of these roles
Yeah, but then you can step back at any time and be like I've chosen to be here like this is yeah
I said that I almost ever I said that on Thursday at the end of training, which was
Players that choose to be at the lacrosse Academy have fully decided lacrosse is what they do and they need to adopt that persona
I'm a lacrosse player other people do other things
But I play lacrosse and I'll support everyone else in their endeavor
But mine is lacrosse and you have to adopt the identity and then if you're taking it serious
Seriousness leads to like a curiosity for what's better what's calling you to more what can be changed?
What's what's lacking and not supporting fully where you're going?
And so then there's just like that loop of curious play, which is
Evolving like you're always evolving. Yeah, I look back on our careers and there was an interesting battle between
the classic
Not even narrative of hey don't make lacrosse your identity
Yeah
And I understand that like I get where that's coming from especially in the realm of FCA and you know
You'd always hear it of like lacrosse is not your identity
You're a son of God and you're like yes, but it's not taking this nested approach and understanding how identities almost
encapsulate like encaps encapsulate and it circle each other
Yeah, and that when it's time to perform no, I am the lacrosse player
Yeah, like that is my identity in this finite game finite role when I step off of it
Okay, sure. Yeah, how I'm gonna eat is probably still gonna merge into that identity how I sleep how I prep
All of those things. Yeah, the the tightrope to walk is
The moment at which you kind of become a bad lacrosse player in a certain play
It does not make you a bad version of Henry like you were yeah. Yeah, it can affect your whole entire entire life
You have to execute meaning in the in the process of the performance
We like offensive action and what is moving your you forward that has to be totalizing and it's
Outlook I can believe you are and what you're doing and maybe this is just
Through the years of hard knocks in terms of shit practice did not go well. Yeah, and how am I gonna manage this?
Well, of course, you got to be able to detach you have to be able to zoom back out to the identities in which yeah
You are a son of God. There's this incredible parable from somebody. I love Maharaji and he goes
Say you're a son of the king and you're about to die when you're a baby and a physician saves you
Do you owe your whole life to the physician? It's like no the the physician has contributed
Yeah to your life. What you do. Oh, is that you're a son of a king?
Mm-hmm, and so there's there's parts to where like you can start you can zoom out zoom in zoom out zoom in
Oh, I have a hundred percent. Yeah and
Reflection probably take the widest look at things. There's this great lesson, which it's in our speech
You know, we have language we use and language that uses us when we're negative that language that coding is is using us
And when we do something negative, we want to we want to bound it in time be like
That wasn't great on that Tuesday in that play. Yes
When things are good, maybe I start to generalize it, you know, maybe I get specific in my process
But when things are negative we want to hyper bound them in time not be I'm a bad
I'm a bad player. Yeah. I'm a bad person. No, no, that was a bad moment. That was that moment wasn't great, right?
I might as not slept. Well, my hydration wasn't great skipped out some carbs wasn't super focused could feel myself drifting
Confidence was a little low stepping into the game got some things to audit my process, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad player
Okay, you had one mistake in that moment. And so the more specific we can get in the negativity the more we can kind of
expansively
Allow ourselves to accept in a not even immerse but embody the positive
I asked like a nice toggle because words are literally coding. It's not like oh that's easy to say
What do you mean easy to say like do you know how powerful languages? Yeah it again you use it
It uses you you have to be intentional with the code that you write your identity through and that you speak into the world
And we've been blessed that we love to read we love to write my life changed so much when I literally I wrote
I wrote like all I did was just write what I was learning how it was kind of synthesizing in and through me
Where I was seeing it show up my life capture a quote comment on it question it. How do I embody it?
All of those things. That's the power of language. It is what changes you from the top down not bottom up top down is
from thoughts
To then how do I feel about this then act it into your life? Yeah, I agree
I think the identity to that you adopt and then the mission that it sets you on keeps you company
Like you can almost anther more pie. What's that word anther?
Or if I's yeah the mission itself and the actual identity you take in it. I smile all the time. I'm
Just the hours and hours that you're alone
And I'm like the missions keeping me great company like the mission that which you are set on the lacrosse itself
The stick the pursuit the things you're able to do like that is always there as long as you have the identity
And you've attached yourself to it. It's always there for you, and that's why I
We said all the time. I couldn't imagine going to school and being a normal student like it would be so
Disorienting of what you're even attaching your identity to is it what you're showing up how you're showing up on the weekend for people
so then it's only connected to like how you please people and then it can't be the
Classes because those are always changing each semester, so maybe it's your process and how you pursue
Learning and education and that's like really high level and I don't know how many people can get there when they're in a college setting
Yeah, at least lacrosse. It's like
And I think about think about it in the winter
You can almost look at the cold is like your old friend that you see every day the cold is always going to be there
You can anticipate that visit with the friend and just like it's always going to be there same thing with lacrosse
It can just be that
That account that that companion. Yeah with your identity and it's a beautiful thing the stick and just the things you can go back to
Repeatedly and it keeps you anchored
I think it's a foundational thing and reminding yourself who you are and how you can change your future
Yeah, no, there's a few
better
It's not even a skill but kind of well for us which you wave the pain on one of the thing identities we've always
Connected ourselves with is the eternal learner like I'm just gonna learn for the rest of my life and be at play
But very serious at play and the books
I mean the books keep you company the books are always there. Oh, yeah, always you can always retreat to a book and
say you're a little disoriented you're
Struggling with the uncertainty of like what's the next step retreat to a book go find someone who has done something
Incredibly courageous and they're their companions in that identity
The book is there because your identity is the eternal learner. Yeah, they'll pull you out of some very hard times
Make you feel like you're not nearly as crazy as crazy as you think, you know, especially when you can read those kind of
nineteen hundred eighteen hundreds nineteen hundreds like post enlightenment, but still
Not modernist and not modernist
You know how they thought about the the world the purity of their thought the precision of their language the boldness of which they
They viewed man and his relationship to divine providence
What was going to happen in the world that great men had to step forward that all civilizations were shadows of men
That's it. Right things don't just progress through laws, right? They're forced into reality by people with conviction
And so the dream is not going to be handed to you
You know that your spot is not going to be handed to you you go and take it crazy ambition
There was a crazy aggression BC. He posted something
I forget the actual quote but he quoted something from this book called winning and if you've never read it before you're an athlete
I encourage you. It's a very easy read, but it is ruthless in how it
romanticizes winning and there's this great line which is like winning keeps its hands in its pockets until
Until it realizes or sees someone who's worthy. It's like
And if you won before that does not give you the right to win again. Yeah, that was the awesome thing
There's a podcast
released yesterday conversation
With the head of Sequoia capital absolute savage of a guy. Yeah, and even
Someone who is as successful as him to hear his humility and his no, no. No, I'm only as good as this at bat
that was something that I absolutely reflected on because there's something there there is an
Not even it's not an addiction, but it is a can I do it again?
fear I would almost say it's natural to start to build your identity and let it kind of I
wouldn't say inflate but
Start to get strength gain strength from what you've done in the past
But I think again we see in this finite infinite when you're stepping into finite games that have to be played
seriously
Everything has to be dropped and you go. All right. I'm in the batter's box
There's just with this not even one swing, but it is now I don't care what I've done in the past
It is now and that's uh, no, I agree. I think about that often which is
Current pursuits there's many but athletically it's CrossFit and I always remind myself of the receipts of the past which is
Excesses and just proof at which my body can adapt but then at the same time it's like none of that means anything
Today got to show up and train again and again and train again
Yes, absolute alignment. The dream makes demands and and I love just to
Kind of bring this back and Henry you can have your say your topic
But I love that that at the outset of finite play each part or position must be taken up with a certain seriousness
players must see themselves as teacher as
light heavyweight as mother you must see yourself as
It then the game begins. Yeah, I love this one quote
It's there are no born days only untrained observers boredom is a failure of perception and perception can be coached
Very good. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I mean that is how you bring energy where it seems to be no energy
with the perception of like
Saying this matters is
One thing we kind of begin every single training session with like hey set the frame this matters
But also the perception of there are no born days
That is incredibly important a Sunday or a Saturday where the schedule is clear
That's not a boring day. That's it. That's one that's waiting for you to make the most of it
To step into something that's just like a gift waiting for you. Yes. Yeah
I like how - it says perceptions can be trained
You know, I think people because how you perceive the world is off often what you misidentify with who you are
Meaning it's like no, that's just who I am. It's like no. No, those are like the lens you're looking through
Yeah, if you were to be given blue lens glasses wear them for long enough, how would the world look?
Well, the answer is it would just look normal
It would start to look normal, especially if you put them on early early in life
So our childhood conditioning you take that off
Meaning the limited perception of self world how it responds to you
It's gonna feel uncomfortable, but perceptions can be trained
That's the exact great line the journey of true discovery lies not in finding new lands, but in looking through new eyes
Yeah, it's like whoa. Whoa. I'm not not good enough. What would be possible if I thought that what would be possible if I thought hey
With time and energy I can learn and do anything and that learning and doing that utility of that skill changes my life
It changes my life and allows me to step up step through and unlock open doors unlock
Whatever metaphor you want to continue to extend on but it's powerful
Yeah, it means a lot and and that is you could say well cause an effect you had to act a lot
Well, it started with me believing with understanding that there's an inevitability to action to input and to seeing wait
If someone has done it, I can do it. Okay. I might have to work harder. I'm not as smart at that person, right?
They have some gifts that I don't but I also have some gifts and once I understand them and put them into action
Yes, I can be a powerful
Individual that contributes to the collective. Absolutely. So yeah the journey of true discovery and it is with perception
but the I know exactly the idea that your perception can be coached that is kind of our role as
Trainers with every player around there is no boring drill. There's no simple drill
There's only ones that require a more mental focus and ones that require more physical presence from you
Yes, but the same like that that's your role as a mentor. Yeah saying
Hey, how about instead of reacting like this every time you have a trial?
You look at it with excitement of man. I'm looking forward to what's on the other side of this
Yeah, every time in college where either I didn't get the starting spot that day or I was put on a different midfield line
I had to train myself to just get back to the locker room that day and go
Well being called to more this is like this is good. This is a good thing. This is a force to adapt
Yeah, asking yourself how am I gonna respond to this is a great
Great question. Yeah, it's a good portal. It's a hard thing to do
Fully by yourself, but as soon as you begin questioning how you're responding to something that leads to more answers
and that's kind of the only way to do it by yourself, which is when you have a response to a bad test grade a
Getting maybe benched a bad rep and you have a negative reaction
You have to question that like why am I reacting like this? Can I change the perception of that miss shot?
if you can't do that by yourself, then
External intervention like kind of has to be that first spark
But if you're listening to this podcast, you probably have enough initiative to be someone that questions your response to things
Yeah, and that was I remember one of my first workouts at the CrossFit gym
I was struggling new dubs and I was like so pissed. I almost like quit the workout and
Again, that's just me internally afterwards reflecting. Why did I react like that?
Why did I not just humble myself and be like and so early in the journey like I just have more work to do
and that's like the maturity of
Understanding you can't just step back and question your reaction to something and then your reaction is your perception on the moment
So yeah, it changes quickly. You can do that a great thing to think to is you're
Typically trapped within your ego. Yes. So if you can ask yourself questions that are almost impersonal. Hey, what would greatness do here?
How would it act? How would it feel? What would wisdom how would wisdom start to look at this?
What would an unstoppable energy bring to this if you can start to open yourself up with impersonal questions?
I love one of my favorite questions is hey, what is greatness look like today?
What's it gonna do in these moments my transitions?
Am I gonna just scroll waste 15 minutes?
Absolutely shatter the focus of my of my mind put myself on to like 15 20 different topics that literally mean nothing
Right. I have no impact on the straight of hormones or the gas prices
So why why would I mean I'm interested in that but like the point is why would I scatter my mind in the middle of the day?
With that so what thousands of AI breakthroughs happen? Yeah. Yeah, there's so many things that we cannot keep up with and
so you have to execute hey, what is your portion in the great play of
Being and what is the next step? What is greatness look like? All of that stuff those impersonal questions to help a lot
It's such an advantage to have huge to have a undefeated perception
I mean nothing that's happening can be yeah responded to in a way that you're defeated like defeat is not an option to a
Situation and we have no it makes no sense. I think we've been down many many times
Yes, we've been in positions that I would say 9 out of 10 people would be like you guys are asked here
Yes, and we're like we're like
Zero options mentality. It's forward fixed bayonets. Don't back down. We double down charge forward. That's it
I love there's this great monologue by Shema papa Tia. There's no failure. There's no failure. It makes no there's no failure
Yeah, maybe this entrepreneur and loser perception. It's a loser perception entrepreneur to just understand
No, it's forever iteration if I'm attacking a pain point if I have a mission if I genuinely feel like you know
I'm customer one and this changed my life
You could be two three four once I understand this avatar
We're gonna hit it and when we get it right when this is perfect when the platonic ideal that I'm almost like
Relationship with when it hits no, this is gonna work hundred percent and there is no failure missions not over until it's actually accomplished
Yeah, I guess you run out of money, but just moving with parents and keep going. We lived with our parents for a little bit
All right, we're not so much drifting but we get fired up and we got work to do. So you got anything here
Nope. Yeah, god bless my friend. Keep crushing it. See you next time