When Flexibility Goes Too Far in Family Business (and What to Do About It)

In this episode of the Twenty One Clear Podcast, Adam Hatcher welcomes back Melissa Mitchell-Blitch, author of In the Company of Family: How to Thrive When Business is Personal, to explore how flexibility shapes boundaries and decision-making in family businesses.

Together, they unpack the difference between thoughtful exceptions and destructive entitlement, share real-life stories of unintended consequences, and offer practical tools for addressing responsibility among family owners.

With their professional expertise, lived experience, and honest reflections, this episode delivers essential insights for families who want to strengthen both their company and their relationships. Tune in to discover how conversations about rules, consequences, and ownership can chaos-proof your family business.

Links for Melissa
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissamitchellblitch
Website: https://melissamitchellblitch.com/
Book: In the Company of Family: How to Thrive When Business is Personal  - https://www.amazon.com/Company-Family-Thrive-Business-Personal/dp/0578761459?sr=8-1

21C Links
Twenty One Clear website: www.21clear.com
Adam Hatcher on LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/in/adamhatcher
Subscribe to the Twenty One Clear newsletter: https://21clear.substack.com/

Bumper Music
Still Hot
by Nic D, Connor Price
(c) Lossless, 2023

Episode Produced By
https://snapmarket.co

Chapters
(00:00) Introducing Flexibility in Family Business
(02:45) Understanding When to Bend Rules
(05:31) Considering Consequences of Flexibility
(12:22) Practicing with Low-Stakes Decisions
(18:18) The Dangers of Entitlement
(20:27) Clarifying Responsibility in Family Roles

Creators and Guests

Host

Adam Hatcher

Family Business Consultant

What is The Twenty One Clear Podcast?

The benefits of working with family include mutual trust, a shared long-term outlook, and quick decision making. However, your inner family business relationships can also cause chaos for the company and family.

What can you do?

Join us as we explore chaos proofing your family business so you can build a great company with a strong family around it.

21clear.com

Adam Hatcher: Hey there.

Welcome to the 21 Clear Podcast where
we talk about anything to help you

chaos proof your family business.

I'm your host, Adam Hatcher, the founder
of 21 Clear, and today is part two of our

interview with Melissa Mitchell, Blitch.

Melissa wrote the book in the
Company of Family, how to Thrive

when Business is Personal.

And our last episode,
Melissa, introduced a concept.

Called boundaries.

What is this idea of boundaries?

How does it relate to family businesses?

This is an idea I wish had been
explained to me far earlier in my

family journey, family business
journey than I had it in this episode.

There was one idea in Melissa's book
that I wanted to get into with her.

She has several principles of
boundaries in a family business,

and one of them was flexibility.

So we're going to explain what flexibility
in a family business is, and we talked

about that a bit in the last episode.

So we're gonna revisit it and
then we're gonna do three things.

Three things for you to think about,
whether it's advice or stories.

Counsel, three things for you
to think about as it relates to

flexibility in your family company.

I hope you enjoy the second,
sit down with Melissa.

Melissa, welcome back
to the 21 Clear Podcast.

Uh, here we go again.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: Thanks, Adam.

Let's go.

Adam Hatcher: So we promised listeners
in the last episode we are gonna

talk about a topic that when I have
worked with families, it doesn't

take long for this one to come up.

So I spent 13 years in my family company.

I was the general counsel, I was the head
of human resources corporate strategy.

What you hear in those rules, every one of
them is responsible for rules, policies,

which in the last episode we talked about
this idea of boundaries, differentiation

between one thing and another.

Both to let good in and
keep bad things out.

Why do you have a vacation policy?

That's a boundary.

How many days do you have to
be at work during the year?

And what are the rules when
you want to take a day off?

And you talk in your book, which
is in the Company of Family,

about this idea of companies.

Have rules and family companies
need to understand the concept of

flexibility 'cause it's inevitable.

Will you explain this idea of
flexibility for the audience?

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: Mm-hmm.

We spoke in the last episode about
how boundaries are fair, firm,

and friendly and flexible, and
that there's, that, that tension.

It's a both end.

Sometimes they're firm,
sometimes they're flexible.

There are times where things
happened that we didn't anticipate,

couldn't have predicted.

Circumstances did change, and so as
clear as policies, procedures, rules,

as you were just referring to may
be sometimes something may happen.

We're like, oh, that if we actually, if we
apply that rule, if we follow that rule,

that policy, it will create unintended
negative consequences that we don't want.

And so it can be wise to be able to flex
at times, but to do so very thoughtfully.

Because in the previous episode,
we talked about a family who

created a, um, employment policy
and then a month later broke it.

We create those policies and rules
because we think they're gonna

promote good and protect against bad.

Yes, things can happen that we didn't
anticipate, and so it can make sense

to flex for a situation or to even
change the boundary, but to do so

thoughtfully and, and honestly as
opposed to hopefully out of fear.

I shared an example, uh, of a
family that was afraid of hurting

a, a cousin's feelings, um, afraid
of him struggling, you know,

financially after he was laid off.

So they hired him, you know, hopefully to
do so in a way that continues to promote

good and protect, protect against the
bad, and that takes thought and reflection

Adam Hatcher: So.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: honesty.

Adam Hatcher: Yeah.

Which is conversation
like it's talking about.

Alright, so let's do we.

Alright, so the idea of flexibility.

If you've worked with your family, you
get this, there are rules, there are

times you're going to bend around them.

Oh.

And if anyone thinks that they don't,
when you have a family meeting, do you

take, do you charge PTO to the family
members who work in the company when they

go to, to one of the family meetings?

That's not a company meeting,
that's a family member meeting.

A family owner meeting.

You talk about distinct things,
that's an example of flexibility.

Alright, so what Melissa, uh, what you,
what you and I are gonna do, we're gonna

give families three things to think about.

Three things to think
about with flexibility.

This might be advice, this might
just be interesting thoughts.

And so Melissa's gonna take the first one.

I'm gonna take the second one, and then
Melissa will close us with the third one.

So these are three ideas, concepts,
thoughts about when you work

with your family and you have
rules and you have guidance.

Three things to know about flexibility.

Melissa, what's your first one?

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: Mm-hmm.

I already alluded to this, I
think without using the actual

word, and that is consequences.

What might unintended consequences be?

And And consequences.

You know, consequences can be favorable,
they can be negative, they can be

neutral, they can be a mix of things.

But if we flex on this rule, this
policy, this previous decision that

we made, what might be a natural.

Unintended undesired consequence,
negative consequence that could come

to this individual to, you know, me as
the leader if that's, you know, if I'm

the sole person making that to us as a
company, just to really think it through

and to think it through not only short
term of, with this specific decision

of to flex or not, but longer term such
as, you know, like with this family

that I spoke about last time, who broke
flexed their, um, employment policy.

What message does that
send about other policies?

Oh, they're not gonna stand firm on it.

Maybe What light and doubt may
that bring to, again, that policy?

Oh, well, if they're firm with,
you know, like the other, another

cousin who doesn't meet the criteria.

If they say no to, to him or her,
you know what's, what's that about?

It can just create lots of doubt about
the integrity behind the decision.

It can create doubt about other
boundaries, policies to know whether

they're gonna be firm or flexible.

So considering the consequences
that may result short-term,

long-term personal enterprise
level, how could this work for us?

How could this work against us if we flex?

Adam Hatcher: I think the idea of
consequences matters so much because

the way you work together and own
the company together is family

is an inner family business, and
then you have a company around it.

If you turn around and sell your
company, the company's still there.

You know, if Chick-fil-A sold, we could
all still go get chicken sandwiches.

It's the way the Kathy's work
in and own the company together.

That would be missing.

The heart of the company is
out of the center of it and

there's something new put in.

And flexibility matters because there's a
company around you that you're responsible

to as family when you work in the company.

Um, and this idea of consequences, I
imagine you think, well, not just what

is the consequence to me or maybe to my
sister who works with me, but what's the

downstream consequence to the company?

Are there any consequences that
may flow out to the clients?

Alright, I'm gonna tell you an
embarrassing story 'cause you

saying consequences brought this
up and this was ignorant, Adam.

I'd like to say I was 28, 29 years
old, but I should have known better.

So, and, and I didn't
get what you just said.

The idea of consequences.

The family company, my family's company,
a staffing and recruiting business has.

A monthly expense report process.

And if you are missing a receipt, then
you fill out a lost receipt report.

Well, those lost receipt
reports, they were supposed to

be, uh, used very sparingly.

People keep up with their receipts.

I'm kind of fly by the seat of
my pants sometimes low detail.

And I made them almost a
standard operating procedure.

I was the only person in the company
that had a company card that was had.

I was on the, I was the top.

I had to be the top user
of the lost receipts.

And I remember the day my father
called me, 'cause you have to send

your expense report to your boss.

And I reported to my dad.

And so I'll, I'll tell you how
you can feel the ending coming.

And then I'm curious, like, let's
tease this idea of consequences out,

like my father calls me, he goes, Hey.

Okay.

the fourth month in a row.

You've had more lost
receipts than receipts.

You're the only person
in the company like that.

Let me tell you this, the next three,
the next three you turn in like that,

I'm taking 'em outta your, I'm taking
the amount outta your paycheck.

Like, oh, like message received.

Follow, follow.

The, there is, uh, there's no flexibility
to go more into lost receipts.

But what I didn't realize in that
phone call, and I'm sure you can hear

like help think about me back then,
28, 29, if you and I had known each

other, you have said, Adam, have you
thought about the consequences of this?

Like how would you have
walked me through that?

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: well, I
just wanna say that consequences

are wonderful teachers.

Adam Hatcher: Right.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: You know,
if I, if I do something and again,

outcome, I like, I'll do it again.

So Adam says, Hey, lost
receipt, no big deal.

Fill out a form, blah, blah, blah.

I'll do it again.

And he did it again for four months, and
then you get a different consequence.

You got a consequence.

You didn't want a firm call
from dad saying, next time

it's coming outta your pocket.

And so it taught you or gave you
an opportunity to learn to become

more responsible with your receipts.

If I want to be reimbursed, I have a re
and avoid this consequence of it coming

out of my pocket, I have a responsibility
to keep up with those receipts.

It was a wonderful teacher for
you that invited you to stretch

and grow so that you could avoid
consequences you didn't want.

Adam Hatcher: and what I didn't
think of as well, because again,

this, this, at the time I didn't
understand this, that I'm in a family

business working inside a company.

I didn't think about the downstream
effect, like, so the finance

department would see this,
well, they might wonder why.

I mean, they noticed.

Well, why does he get to do that?

Um, are

there other rules he
doesn't have to follow?

I mean, I thought about, uh, my
brother and I worked together for

about a decade in the family company.

So what if I keep doing this and my
brother finds out, but then there's

some flexibility my brother wants and
my dad puts, put the hammer down on him.

Well, now you're treating
your sons a different way.

Like, I didn't think that when I
unilaterally changed a rule, I,

I didn't know I was doing that.

But when I unilaterally took
flexibility, when I unilaterally

changed a rule that there were
consequences even, even beyond me.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: Absolutely.

Adam Hatcher: all right, so that, so
number one, think about consequences.

It's thing number one to think
about if you're working with your

family company and you're wrestling
with this idea of flexibility.

Alright?

So I'll give you a second one.

Um, find a low stakes one to work on

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: Hmm.

Adam Hatcher: when you have
this inner family business.

It needs its own attention.

So the company has
quarterly strategy meetings.

It has a leadership team.

They meet, it's got budget meetings.

Well, your inner family business,
you run that the way you work

in and own the company together.

Family meetings.

Now who comes to that?

Is it just the family owners?

Family members who work in
the company and the owners?

Is it some other family members,
advisors, families do that

different ways, but that's where
you work on how do we hire family?

How do we work together?

How do we leave the company?

How do we make ownership decisions?

Do we reinvest, reinvest profits,
or do we do distributions?

It's where you work on those issues and
in there, if you're going to make an

exception in your company for family,
I would go find some low stakes ones.

Maybe not an expense report, rebellion.

I don't think anyone would've
reasonably seen that one, but take a

low stakes one and put it on the table.

Talk about it.

A popular thing to do in family
companies if is pay dues or

membership for family members, right?

So imagine that the founders of a, of a
two generation family company want to pay

for a local social club or country club
for their two daughters and their son.

You could just unilaterally do that or
sit down and have a family meeting to talk

about it and say the, the conversation
may sound something like, look.

When your father and I started
this company, we hardly had enough

money to take care of any of us.

Over time, the business has been
successful, it's supported, afforded

us new perks, and one of those is
joining the local country club.

As we look back, that gave us a
place to network that also gave us

a place to host employee and client
events that felt really special.

We wished we'd had that when we started.

We would like to give
that to you all as well.

And so we'll pay whatever the upfront fee
is, we'll pay that for you, or the company

will pay that, uh, however you do that.

And then if you work in the
company, we'll, we'll cover

your monthly dues as well.

Like that is for the people
who work in the company.

My bet is that that's not a
perk that is offered to all

the employees of the company.

It may not even be
offered to the executives.

And so part of the flexibility
in that is, that's a, you're

flexing on behalf of the family.

For a, for an overarching reason.

But why I would love to see
families workshop that versus

send it, send it in an email,

is that it gives people a chance to,
that's a low stakes conversation.

Okay.

Like, that's, that's not the decision
to go buy a, do a large acquisition that

may strain cash flow for a couple years.

Like that's a big decision.

This is, that's a pretty low stakes
decision that would let you then practice

bantering the topic with each other.

You know, someone says, Hey, thanks
mom and dad, or tell me more about

what it was like to start the company.

Or maybe I've never cared
about clubs like that.

Can we use that

money for something else?

Whatever the con, wherever the
conversation goes, you're practicing

working in and owning the company together
on a low stakes flexibility issue.

So that would be my encouragement.

Find a couple of these low stakes issues.

When you have your family
meetings, talk about 'em.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: Yes.

If we want to improve our physical
health, we typically start small.

You know, you start with the lightweights,
you do rips, you build up, you walk

before you jog, before you run.

And the invisible, you know, relational
dynamics, that is often a wise approach

to take, to start small and grow.

And there's so much value just in sitting
down and having that conversation,

sharing your thinking, sharing how it's
aligned, the values that it's aligned

with, the purpose for this decision.

And being open again to hearing those
voices that say, wonderful, thank you dad.

Or that voice that says, you know, I
hear your heart, your desire for it

to, to be a benefit and a blessing for
me, but I actually hate going there.

You know, might you be
open to something else?

I hear the desire behind that.

Might it flex in another way?

What about doing this in instead?

So much value simply to having
conversations as, as a family.

Adam Hatcher: And the undercurrent there
is, it goes a little unsaid is if you

want to, if you want to, nobody just
takes flexibility in, in a family company.

You don't just take it for yourself.

We talk about it.

We even talked about the silly issues
and, and the, to use your point, number

one, the consequence of not doing
that, I then people don't know either.

They don't know when the rule applies
or not, or they just start doing what

they want until someone says something.

And how does that impact the business?

A friend of mine worked in a family
company and they're, their home

office was located in a place that,
in the last couple years went through

a natural disaster and as they were
recovering from the natural disaster,

they all came to work and they.

Could not get on the internet.

And so the head of it went up on
the roof to check on the starlink

satellite and it was gone.

One of the family owners who worked in
the company that had no real rules about

when you get to be flexible or not,
well, the internet was out at their lake

house, and so they took the company,
starlink, drove it to their Lakehouse and

knocked the company off of the internet.

And in part it sounds silly and
you're like, how dare someone do that?

if you don't know how you ask for
flexibility and just feel that you can

take it over years, this just snowballs.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: Yeah,
well, flexibility can be wise, and

flexibility can be destructive.

That's why thinking through the
consequences, short term, long

term, and broadly are important.

Flexibility, overdone creates an
attitude, a perception of entitlement.

I'm exempt from responsibility.

I can do whatever I want.

I don't even think about what, you
know, the impact on others could be.

That is, you know, kinda like the end
game of, of flexibility gone awry.

Um, not kept in check.

Not being the exception, but being
the rule that we flex you will

cultivate behaviors, attitude,
expectation of entitlement.

Adam Hatcher: What's the danger of that?

Or maybe better yet, in working with
families, when you have seen that,

what does then, Ooh, I can't believe
you dropped the entitlement word.

Melissa.

Let's do it.

What does give, if someone goes
entitlement, I don't know what that means.

Let's take a quick, we, we'll come back.

Melissa's third point to know
about flexibility, but we're

gonna take a quick deviation here.

Explain entitlement for someone who's
curious, what that means in this context.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: Well, I can
actually give you a twofer and answer that

question, which will tie back into 0.3

that I wanted to share
with your, your listeners.

I borrowed from John Townsend, um,
a working definition of entitlement,

ex feeling exempt from responsibility
and deserving of special treatment.

So feeling exempt from responsibility.

Doesn't matter what the consequences
are, they're not gonna follow me.

Um, I deserve special treatment.

That's describes
entitlement in a nutshell.

And the antidote to that is
allowing consequences to fall

on the responsible party.

You know, entitlement does
not happen in a vacuum.

Someone cannot behave.

They can wanna be entitled, but if
there's not someone there to reinforce

that and to indulge that, they can't
actually behave in a way because someone

has to pick up the responsibility.

And so a wonderful antidote, um,
and going back to our previous

stream of conversation is to get
really clear on responsibility.

Adam Hatcher: Hmm.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: the word
again tells us so much response,

ability, our ability to respond.

What are my abilities to respond?

I can think, I can feel,
I can act, I can speak.

Those are my responsibilities.

I can't speak for you, Adam.

I can't think for you.

I can't feel for you.

I can't behave for you.

So I am not response able for you.

I'm only response able for me,
and I'm meant to experience

the consequences of my choices.

Those are good.

Sometimes those are bad sometimes.

And since we are in a relationship
and I care about you, I want

to be responsive to you.

If I make a decision that I know you're
not gonna, like, I want to be responsive

to you and do so in a way that's friendly,
fair, and friendly, that I care about

the impact it's gonna have on you.

But I don't take personal
responsibility for it.

If we bring back in the example of the
family who busted their own employment

policy in very short order, you know,
they were taking responsibility for

the, the cousin needed, wanted a job.

Needed, wanted income for his family.

Whose responsibility is that?

It's his, it's not the
companies, it's not the families.

Do they love him?

Care about him?

Yes.

And what is the responsibility
of the business, the business.

Responsibility to shareholders,
you know, to, to stay in business

and continue to produce an income.

How are you gonna do that if you
hire every family member that wants

to work there, even if the business
does not have a need for them.

So, letting responsibility be
taken by who it belongs to.

And we could be responsive.

They could be responsive to that cousin.

They care and wanna support him in
other ways, to connect with people,

to get a job, to make ends meet in
the meantime, if that's, uh, a need.

But they took on responsibility for
him having employment and compensation

that didn't belong to them.

They reaped the consequences and through
that, potentially robbed him of, you

know, some, we learn and we stretch.

We learn when we're uncomfortable.

We, we learn that we can do hard
things by doing hard things.

And so maybe robbing him of
opportunities to grow through challenge.

By taking that responsibility on for him.

Adam Hatcher: And I think about
one of the areas where people get.

Wrestle when you work with the family,
with your own family, and you wrestle

with responsibility versus entitlement.

One of the things I have noticed is
when you have, you don't just have a

single shareholder, maybe your, your
CEO uncle is the only shareholder, for

example, but when you have ownership
and minority ownership distributed in

the company, there's, you can see it
swing to both ends of the pendulum.

You can see people who believe, well,
because I own 2%, 5%, 15%, well,

it's, it's less than, less than 50.

Uh, because I own a minority
stake, I am entitled to behave

as the controlling shareholder.

I'm not follow

the rule, whatever it may be.

Like I've seen that end.

Because there has not been a conversation.

What does, when you work in
the company as a minority

shareholder, what does that mean?

But I've also seen it swing to the
other end where people feel overly

responsible and it's understandable.

Oh my goodness, I might be in a
staff level position, but I'm also

an owner, so I feel responsible for
these hundred, 200, 1500 people.

And they feel this crushing
responsibility that really isn't theirs.

But you feel it because there's,
because there is ownership.

And that to me is one of like, tip
number two, go find something, some

small, flexible discussion to have
because the discussion about do we

hire my cousin when he really needs it?

Or let him learn to navigate an
uncertain employment environment, or,

or am I more responsible or not because
I'm an owner working in the business?

And what does that mean or not mean?

Go find the easy ones to talk about.

'cause those are, those are important,
but those are the heavy ones.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: Mm-hmm.

And even thinking through that
decision with those different

hats on, alright, with my owner
hat on, what's my responsibility?

What's my opportunity as a family member?

You know, what's my responsibility
thinking through as an employee?

You know, what are my, what's
my responsibility here?

That's where it gets so
complex in family enterprise.

'cause you got multiple hats on

Adam Hatcher: Mm-hmm.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: through
it from each of them to, to

view it from big picture.

Adam Hatcher: I remember talk,
uh, I got a chance to talk

with a founder who they had a.

Family company that was a chain.

And his three sons and his daughters
were all, he had given shares

of the company to all of them.

And what, what's the consequence
of not talking about this?

And it was just a casual
conversation one day.

And he just kind of looked up and
he said, you know, Adam, what?

What frustrates me?

He said, my sons, my daughter.

None of them go to visit
our different locations.

I really wish they did.

I mean, gracious, I gave them
ownership in this company.

Why don't they go?

And as we talked, I realized
he'd never told him that.

And I totally understood his perspective.

I gave you this.

I mean, just naturally, right?

You would think osmosis would tell
you that I expect this of you.

And like rational people, if they're
owners of something, will go, Anna, maybe.

But it was an unspoken expectation.

An

unspoken responsibility.

And I thought, boy, how it,
well, I knew how he felt.

It was frustrating for him.

And disappointing.

But then how would it have felt for them
if they knew their dad was disappointed in

them for something unspoken between them?

And that's an example of why it's
so important to sit down and talk

about what are responsibilities?

Do we allow consequences?

And maybe let's find some
low stakes poker to work on

before, before we have these
heaviest conversations.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: And it's so
funny, this is a little bit of a rabbit

trail, but it's so funny, like, you
know, if that dad's saying, I don't

understand why, or I don't understand
why or why not, you know, so often we

use those words, I don't understand,
but we don't seek understanding.

I don't understand.

So I judge, I don't understand.

So I feel hurt or angry as opposed
to saying, I don't understand.

Let me get curious and go
ask what this is about.

Adam Hatcher: The the other one is, well,
yeah, uh, I know that's not how most

people act, but that's just how she is.

And then so like we don't wanna
wrestle with that question, okay?

That family employee's behavior is
outside the norm that we've established.

We, no one's handed them the
flexibility to behave in that manner.

Okay?

But now what do we, what do we do?

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: To do
family enterprise, well, it takes

more courage than, than working
in a different environment.

It takes more skill, it
takes more self-awareness.

You know, if you work with your
family, you, I believe, are in the

most complex type of entity that
you could work, work for within and.

It.

It is just inherently challenging.

That's why you and I love coming
alongside families to help

them navigate this complexity.

Cut through some of it, grow, learn,
because there's so much at stake and

it's just inherently challenging.

Adam Hatcher: Yeah, it is.

it was John Ward, one of the godfathers
of Family Business and Family Company

Research said there's a reason that
this is the hardest job in the world.

You are trying to build a great company.

Most of us are.

You're trying to build a great company,
great company, whatever that means.

It doesn't have to be huge, but one that
is valuable and has a positive impact, and

at the same time, navigate the tension of
an unconditional business with conditional

family and have a strong family as well,
a great company, and a strong family.

When those two things pull against
each other and what I've loved over.

This time together where we've given
three things to think about with family

company flexibility, and last time where
we unpacked the idea of boundaries, what

those are and how they show up is these
are the skills like, listen, I wish

I'd had this language when I started.

Because it helps you.

It helps you navigate in a way that
is unique to the family company.

Well, thank you.

This has been fun for me.

Thank you.

So thank you so much.

And will you please tell people
it's in the, it'll be in the notes

again, links to your website and
your book, but tell people how

to find you and then when someone
calls Melissa, it sounds like what?

What?

Yeah.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: So my
website is my name without the

hyphen, Melissa Mitchell glitch.com.

And if you're liking the Southern,
Southern draw, I read the audio book

to you and it only takes four hours.

So I wanna put a plugin for that

Adam Hatcher: I, I, I listened to it.

I enjoyed it.

It's perfect on back roads
in the southeast, but you

can do this in Denver too.

It's not geographically.

That's just, that was my experience

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch: that every family
business is different, every situation

that they're experiencing is different.

And so if someone reaches out to
me, it, it just starts with that

conversation, like you're saying,
let you know, you're inviting family

members to sit around the table.

I invite a family member to reach out
to me and just have a conversation.

What's going on?

You know, what are you hoping for?

Um, what, and just listening
for opportunity first to, to, to

understand and then to, to feel, get
a feel for do I think I can help.

Alright.

And if I think I can help, what might.

First step would be,
but just a conversation.

Adam Hatcher: and.

What that leads to, uh, because you and
I have talked, you and I have talked

ahead of this, what it leads to is
helping families find issues that are

impacting the dynamic of working together.

I, I remember meeting a family
once and before we could build any

governance or any structure, there
were two family members who could not

communicate and they work together and
it's so hard 'cause the rhythm of the

business forces you around each other.

It's not like when you're struggling
with your sister and you can

just give each other space.

Uh, so that's what I app love about what
you do, is that it uncovers why, why

is there friction every single time we
interact and what do we do about that?

Alright, well, uh, I recommend your
book, uh, I recommend the Southern

Draw Audio version of it as well.

And you can find Melissa's website and
her book in the show notes this time.

Melissa, thank you so
very much for being here.

Melissa Mitchell-Blitch:
My pleasure, Adam.

Thank you for the invitation.

Adam Hatcher: These last
couple of episodes were so fun

for me because Melissa has.

Opened up some critical conversations,
and I hope in listening to this, you

can differentiate what Melissa is
talking about from conversations you

have about family company budgets,
strategy meetings, or even as

owners, how you do wealth planning.

It's a complimentary language and it's
a distinct language, and I hope that the

last two episodes have helped you both.

Think or be introduced to boundaries and
then wrestle with some particular concepts

like firm, fair and friendly, or flexible.

Every time you touch a 21
Clear Podcast, our goal.

To help you, or if it's the
newsletter or if it's an event we do.

Our goal is to help you think about your
inner family business, not working in

the company, not working on the company,
but that unique dynamic of how you

all work and own the company together.

I hope this episode was helpful to you.

I look forward to seeing you next
time, as my grandfather would've said.

Thank you so very, very
much for listening.