Life of And

You've been told you can't have it all, but maybe that's not quite the problem. The real problem is nobody ever taught you how to measure what any of it actually costs.

This episode is a replay of Tiffany's appearance on Workday Playdate, the podcast hosted by her friend Erin Diehl. In it, Tiffany and Erin work through the questions ambitious women carry into every day but rarely say out loud: What do you do when you've stopped dreaming because you don't have the capacity to want anything new? How do you know if something really isn't your season, or if you're just afraid to make room for it? What's the actual cost of the choices you've already made, and are you allowed to feel resentful about them? And when a raise finally comes through, should any of it go toward buying your time back?

Tiffany breaks down the difference between "I can't" and "I don't know how." One is a dead end. The other is a starting point. She explains why burnout has nothing to do with being busy and everything to do with putting in the same effort and feeling no progress, and why every yes deserves to be measured with the same honesty as a budget. She also names the three tasks she outsources before anything else, and tells the story of the twenty-minute conversation that talked a CEO out of quitting her job.

You'll walk away knowing how to:
  • Tell the difference between "I can't" and "I don't know how," and use it to move forward instead of stalling out
  • Measure the real size of a "yes" before you say it
  • Build a "not now" list instead of giving up on an idea for good
  • Own the cost of a choice you made instead of quietly resenting it
  • Outsource the three tasks that give back the most time for the least effort

This is not a conversation about having it all. It's about deciding, on purpose, what's actually yours to carry.

For more from Tiffany:
Follow Tiffany on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tiffany.sauder
Learn more: https://www.tiffanysauder.com 

For more from Erin:
Follow Erin on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itserindiehl/?hl=en 
Learn more: https://www.itserindiehl.com/ 

Ready to build your own Life of And? Explore the program: https://www.tiffanysauder.com/Program 

Timestamps:
(00:00) Intro
(06:41) Setting the intention with abundance
(10:30) The stat about working moms that stops you cold
(14:04) "I can't" vs "I don't know how"
(18:26) How to measure the size of your yes
(23:03) The CEO who was 20 minutes away from quitting
(27:39) The real cost of every yes
(29:41) The holy trinity of outsourcing
(33:23) Why "Dear Working Mom" never apologizes
(36:06) Why systems beat discipline
(41:03) What burnout actually means
(47:50) The question your best people need you to ask

Check out the apps and sponsor of this episode: 

Learn more about First Internet Bank: https://www.tiffanysauder.com/First-Internet-Bank
Find out more about Neighbor Serve here: https://neighborserve.com/life_of_and/

What is Life of And?

The Life of And podcast is for high-achieving women and working parents who are ready to stop living a life of ā€œhave toā€ and start designing a life they actually want. It’s a space where we talk honestly about the things we’re often afraid to admit — even to ourselves. The exhaustion. The ambition. The loneliness. The joy. The tension of wanting more without losing yourself in the process.

If you’re in the thick of it — feeling stretched, tired, hopeful, driven — this is your invitation to take a breath, get real, and find your way back to your own Life of And.

[00:00:00] Tiffany Sauder: When's the last time you told yourself, "I can't"? I can't start a hobby. I can't ask for help. I can't take the trip. Now, what if the truth isn't I can't, but rather I don't know how? That's a completely different starting point, and that is exactly where today's conversation begins.

[00:00:21] Tiffany Sauder: I'm Tiffany Sauder, entrepreneur, wife, mom, to four girls and a woman figuring it out just like you. Come on, let's go build your Life of And.

[00:00:32] Welcome back to another episode of The Life of And podcast. I am your host, Tiffany Sauder, and today we're doing something just a little differently. I was a guest on a show, a podcast, called Workday Playdate, hosted by my friend Erin Diehl, and I'm giving you a replay of that conversation. So I'm dropping that conversation here on my feed.

[00:00:54] The core of what we talked about in the episode is this: if you are looking everywhere but inside of your own decisions for change to happen, then ladies, I've got some bad news, but you're looking in all the wrong places. This episode, it's packed with ways to shift your mindset, your decision-making, and your habits to support the life that you actually want to build.

[00:01:19] You know, in my vocabulary, our life of and. We talked about the difference between I can't and I don't know how, critically different questions, and about measuring the actual size of your yes. I walked Erin through my not now list, the holy trinity of outsourcing, and a story about a CEO who was ready to quit her job over something we solved in only 20 minutes.

[00:01:43] So as you listen in this week, I want you to listen for one decision, one mindset, or one habit that you could shift starting right now to help make a difference. You'll notice at the end of this episode, Erin talks about our corporate Life of And program. I'm obsessed with it. It's amazing, and we have such incredible companies that have joined us this year.

[00:02:04] If that is something that you wanna explore with us in 2027, email me at tiffany@tiffanysauder.com. We'll put that in show notes for you as well, tiffany@tiffanysauder.com, and let's connect. Let's talk about it. I would love to bring The Life of And into your corporate environment and share these tools and this message of we can build, ladies, the life that we want.

[00:02:26] We can build the futures that we want for our family. We can earn the money that we want to earn. Like it is available to us. And it's inside of our sandbox, our power inside of our agency, like we have agency to be able to do that. So listen in. Here's my conversation with Erin Deal on Workday Playdate.

[00:02:47] Thanks for listening in.

[00:02:48] Erin Diehl: Okay, quick question. Think about the best woman on your team, the one who always delivers. Now think about whether she's stopped raising her hand lately, taken a few extra PTO days, gone a little quiet. Yeah. Today we're talking about what is actually happening underneath that silence

[00:03:38] Erin Diehl: Hello, peeps. Welcome back to Workday Playday with Improvement. I'm Erin, and this is the podcast where we talk about work, leadership, and culture in ways that actually help. Now, as every podcast host says, if you love this show, please leave us a five-star review. It takes 30 seconds, and it makes us so unreasonably happy.

[00:03:59] Erin Diehl: So my peeps, I need to tell you something. Over the past month, I ran a little experiment in our weekly newsletter, and if you're not getting this newsletter, it is called Fail Forward Fridays. We featured a woman named Tiffany Sauder and her platform called Life of And, and I watched what happened live every single week.

[00:04:22] Erin Diehl: Her link was one of the top performers in the send, and not because it was placed prominently, because something about what she was saying made you stop scrolling and click And the week that outperformed everything, the one about the woman on your team who goes quiet, stops raising her hand, takes a few extra PTO days, and then one day shows up in your office and says she's leaving.

[00:04:51] Erin Diehl: And you knew exactly who she was talking about. So did I. Now, Pew Research just dropped new data on working parents. 74% of working moms say that they do not have enough time for their own interests. Speaking for a friend, I feel that one. 56% say being a parent has made it harder to advance in their career, and Tiffany's take on what that data is missing is the conversation we're about to have.

[00:05:24] Erin Diehl: So Tiffany Sauder is the founder of Life of And, a platform and corporate program built for ambitious women who are navigating career and family at the same time. She is a CEO, an entrepreneur, a mom of four, podcast host, and keynote speaker. Now, she took over Element Three, a full service marketing consultancy in 2006, and transformed it into one of the fastest growing firms in the Midwest, landing on the Inc.

[00:05:56] Erin Diehl: 5- 5000 six consecutive times. Six times. She has reached thousands of women through her podcast, her program, and her speaking work. She talks openly about the messy, beautiful, exhausting, exhilarating reality of wanting a big career and a full life, and refusing to pick just one. She's brilliant, she's honest, she's my friend, and she's about to reframe some things here for you today.

[00:06:24] Erin Diehl: Tiffany, welcome to Work Day, Play Day, friend. Thank you, Erin. I'm excited to have some fun together. Actually, I'm gonna say welcome back. Welcome back. Yeah. You were... 'Cause you and I met over the par- our podcasting airwaves. Did you realize that? I know. We were kind of a cold date the first time, but now- I know

[00:06:41] Tiffany Sauder: we're warmed up. I feel, I feel very, I feel warm and cozy with you. Okay. Well, let's, let's set an intention. Uh, we always love to set an intention at the top of the show. What is one word that you either want to give or receive today? Abundance. Ooh. Okay, tell me why. Tell me why. Um, it is both a word that I work I don't know, daily is maybe extreme, but daily to believe that if, that there is enough, uh, for everyone, and I mean, like, enough time, enough opportunity, enough resources, enough love, enough patience.

[00:07:26] Tiffany Sauder: Um, and when you practice believing that, you have a much greater chance of creating that. That's right. That is so true. And that's what your Life of And is all about, abundance. And, and, and you can have this and. So we're gonna talk about that because I got to sit in on a session today, and y'all this thing is real.

[00:07:47] Erin Diehl: Like, you are so legit. It was so beautiful. The setup was so gorgeous. We'll talk about it in just a minute, but before we do that, w- let's set the scene. You know, in improv, we love to set a location. Where are we having this play date? Give me a location. Where are we? Well, I'm actually gonna do it in real life.

[00:08:04] Tiffany Sauder: Oh. Because that is where we're, uh, it's where I'm asked to navigate, and I think, um... So I will set the stage, but the reason I'm setting it there is I think this, this moment in time when we were little girls laying in bed dreaming of our futures. I've got a high school and senior, a high school senior.

[00:08:22] Tiffany Sauder: She lays in bed thinking about her future. And if sh- if I would've set the scene for you then, I think it would look a lot like my life looks today. Um- Aw ... and so I'm 46. I'm a mom of four girls. My husband and I just celebrated 21 years. Um, we live in the burbs. Um, I have great friends. I have a heart of abundance.

[00:08:43] Tiffany Sauder: It's raining like crazy outside. Same. Yeah. My hair is frizzy because I just took a kid, uh, you know, to a PT appointment for a sports injury. My car is on empty, and my fridge is full. Oh, love. So that, that's my, that's my scene. I love this scene. Okay? And I... That was a beautiful picture. Every time I talk to you, I feel like there was a...

[00:09:07] Erin Diehl: Last time you and I chatted on this show, there was, like, a brake situation with a car. There was something with cars. Oh, probably. There was something. Oh, probably. And, and you and I, 'cause we both have husbands who travel a lot. I only have one. Yeah. I have one son. But, um, there's just so many similarities.

[00:09:23] Erin Diehl: And I gotta tell you, Tiff, this is crazy, and I'm just gonna say it out loud on the show. I'm looking at you right now, and I see this, like... I see you look like my childhood best friend, which is so crazy. Oh. I just, like, never saw that before, and I was like, "Oh my God, it's Susan." Um, okay. That's so great. So anyway.

[00:09:40] Erin Diehl: Shout out to Susan. It's just so fun. And then, you know, you've got your high schooler dreaming up her life. And it's so cool that you would've envisioned this life for yourself. And you, you're so true. You're always authentic. You're always saying, like, it's beautiful and it's messy. My car doesn't have gas, but there's food, there's abundance of food in the fridge.

[00:10:00] Erin Diehl: Mm-hmm. You know? There's, there's the life of and. So okay, I wanna just start with the data point that you also... So I got to sit in on a Life of And program today, which was so cool. The setup alone is beautiful, but then just Tiffany's teaching is so tangible, so straight to the point, but also makes you think And you gave the STADA inside of the Life of Anne program, which I really liked.

[00:10:30] Erin Diehl: 74% of working moms don't have time for their own interests. 56% say parenthood has made it harder for them to advance. And I just wanna talk about this, because when you saw those numbers, what was your gut reaction? 'Cause literally mine was like, "Let me just stare at this wall here for 10 minutes and think about a friend who might be a statistic.

[00:10:56] Erin Diehl: Oh, that friend is me."

[00:10:58] Tiffany Sauder: Y- yeah, and I think that is our starting point, where we look at it and say, "Yeah, that feels right. That feels right. That feels right that I don't have time for things I love. That feels right that it feels hard to chase my dreams. It, it feels right that I don't have time for friends.

[00:11:12] Tiffany Sauder: It feels right that I... That feels right." And then we just sort of leave it there. We resign ourselves to the fact that that feels right. But I think what we're seeing is the o- the impact of not having time for friends, not having time for ourselves, not having time for our spouses, not feeling confident in, um, in the way that we're chasing our careers, that we don't have confidence in those.

[00:11:38] Tiffany Sauder: That it's, it's creating women who are struggling with their confidence, and it's, we're creating women that are struggling with feeling like they have energy for the things they chose.

[00:11:49] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:11:50] Tiffany Sauder: We chose these jobs. We chose these spouses. We chose these kids. We, we chose these things. And culturally, we're beginning to see them, they become, like, almost like these burdens versus saying, "How do I get the toolbox- Mm

[00:12:05] Tiffany Sauder: to level up so that I can sustainably- chase, sustainably have, sustainably pursue each of these areas of my life. A- and this work has come from my own crash, you know? We come from this place of, I always say, like, preparation and lipstick was what my strategy was for a long time. Like, your girl would just get up a little bit earlier.

[00:12:30] Tiffany Sauder: Your girl would just move a little faster. Your girl would just have a little less sleep. And until you get to the place where that, that doesn't work anymore.

[00:12:38] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:12:38] Tiffany Sauder: And I started to look at, I've been taught how to scale my sales organization. I've been s- taught how to scale my company. I've been taught how to scale my capacity at work.

[00:12:46] Tiffany Sauder: I've been taught how to scale my leadership. I've been taught, I have been taught how to scale so many areas of my life. Why is no one teaching me how to scale this intersection- Mm ... of my career and my personal life? And so that really is what the toolbox of Life of Andee is about, is I had to figure out how to scale all of my life, my personal life, my family life, and my career, and this toolbox hits each one of those.

[00:13:11] Tiffany Sauder: So when I look at these stats, I say yeah, it's, it's quantitatively affirming what it is that we feel to be true in ourselves and among our friends. And I think the question I'm asking is, are we gonna be okay with that?

[00:13:23] Erin Diehl: I, oh my God, I love that you're asking that question. And when I hear you talk about it, I'm like, "No, we are not."

[00:13:30] Erin Diehl: Like, the answer is no, but we still, we put ourselves in the box, right? Like, all these paradigms of if I'm, if I'm a working mom, I can't have much of a social life, or I can't have joy. Or if I'm, you know, if I'm a stay-at-home mom, I can't have fulfillment in something that brings me passion. My passion is my family.

[00:13:51] Erin Diehl: Like, there's, I feel like as women, we box ourselves in, and you're saying, like, you can have all the boxes and more, is what you're saying.

[00:14:01] Tiffany Sauder: Well, well what I'm saying is you can have the ones you want.

[00:14:04] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:14:04] Tiffany Sauder: And I remember bawling to my coach and saying to him, "I don't know how."

[00:14:10] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:14:11] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah. I, it's not that I'm not trying.

[00:14:13] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah. I'm trying so hard. It's not that I'm asleep at the wheel. It's not that I don't wake up in the morning. It's not that I forgot. Like, and I just, I don't know how. I have no more capacity. Mm. And I was just breaking inside.

[00:14:27] Erin Diehl: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:14:28] Tiffany Sauder: And he said, "You're getting somewhere if you say, 'I don't know how.'"

[00:14:32] Erin Diehl: Yeah. But

[00:14:32] Tiffany Sauder: we often start with, I can't. I can't start a hobby. Right. I can't start a hobby. I don't have time for that.

[00:14:38] Erin Diehl: Right.

[00:14:38] Tiffany Sauder: It's a different thing to say than I, I will start a hobby. Mm-hmm. I just don't know how.

[00:14:44] Erin Diehl: That's so beautiful. And

[00:14:46] Tiffany Sauder: so- That mentally opens you up to say, well, how would I if I had to?

[00:14:50] Tiffany Sauder: Because think about how many things come into your life that you have to figure out

[00:15:14] Tiffany Sauder: It's usually stuff that's tragic. You have to figure out how to deal with a kid who, uh, you know, is in an accident. You have to figure out how to d- deal with an aging parent. You have to figure out with a spouse who have cancer. You have to figure out your own health when it gets out of control. When we have to figure it out, we do.

[00:15:15] Tiffany Sauder: That's right. But too often it takes a negative impetus for us to say, "All right. Well, I gotta figure this out. I gotta say no to this 'cause I had to say yes to this." Well, what if we did that intentionally? Yeah. What if we had the discipline to proactively craft not when we were in, um, a time of turmoil.

[00:15:33] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:15:34] Tiffany Sauder: But when we were saying, "I'm just building intentionally. That's what I do as a matter of practice."

[00:15:39] Erin Diehl: Oh my God, I love it. Because every, every, um, major breakthrough I've had in my life has always been because of the crash. Totally. And what you're... Yeah, and what you're saying is it's, it's the proactive versus the reactive.

[00:15:55] Erin Diehl: Example, I'm in therapy, okay? When I first started therapy, it was reactive. Like, it was super, super, super reactive. I've been in it for the past three years, and sometimes I'm like, "I don't even know what we're gonna talk about today." Mm-hmm. So I've scaled back a little bit, but it's a proactive approach versus, "Oh my God, I'm so far in now, I n- I need you to help dig me out of this hole."

[00:16:18] Erin Diehl: And I think the way that you're working with women so intentionally is so beautiful, Tiffany, because I know some women out there have stopped dreaming. I have friends-

[00:16:30] Tiffany Sauder: Totally ...

[00:16:31] Erin Diehl: who have stopped dreaming. They just, they are like, "I can't do it in this season-

[00:16:35] Tiffany Sauder: Mm-hmm ...

[00:16:35] Erin Diehl: of my life." And that's like a gut punch when I hear that.

[00:16:39] Erin Diehl: I wanna, like, take them by the shoulders and be like, "No, you... It's this one chance." What do you think when you hear that?

[00:16:46] Tiffany Sauder: Well, I think, I totally agree women have stopped dreaming. I think there's two ways that we can approach that. One is sometimes it isn't the season. Mm-hmm. So I teach what I call the not now list.

[00:16:55] Tiffany Sauder: Oh. I have things on my not now list. I'm a dreamer, I'm a

[00:16:59] Erin Diehl: non- Like what? Like, give us an

[00:17:00] Tiffany Sauder: example ... non-dreamer. Oh, well, I have this, um, business idea. I hate spirit wear.

[00:17:07] Erin Diehl: Oh.

[00:17:07] Tiffany Sauder: Um, like-

[00:17:08] Erin Diehl: Oh,

[00:17:08] Tiffany Sauder: like

[00:17:08] Erin Diehl: spir- like, okay, like spirit,

[00:17:09] Tiffany Sauder: like brands ... like off the rack spirit wear. Yeah. Like this, the dry fit business that the school sends me to buy for every season and every team.

[00:17:17] Tiffany Sauder: I just think it's ugly. I don't think any woman should wear it. I just think it's fit terrible. No, I mean, unless you work out full-time for a living, most of us who are pedestrians shouldn't wear this stuff. I think it's ugly. Dry fit smells. I don't like it.

[00:17:29] Erin Diehl: I really like- I- ... that you said pedestrians. Let me just

[00:17:32] Tiffany Sauder: hold on Put...

[00:17:33] Tiffany Sauder: I'm a pedestrian. Let's, let's pedestrians. You know what I

[00:17:34] Erin Diehl: mean? Yeah, yeah.

[00:17:35] Tiffany Sauder: So I make these very cool jackets. Oh. Uh, they're kinda like, um, varsity jacket kind of vibe for myself- The shame ... to wear in the stands 'cause I wanna cheer my kids on. We are really going on a tangent. I wanna ch- I wanna have school spirit.

[00:17:49] Tiffany Sauder: I wanna cheer my kids on, but honestly, I just am too vain for what they send me to wear.

[00:17:54] Erin Diehl: Good for

[00:17:54] Tiffany Sauder: you. And so I wanna start this business where I make spirit wear you wanna wear. That's the

[00:18:00] Erin Diehl: meat of it. Yes.

[00:18:01] Tiffany Sauder: I would wear it.

[00:18:02] Erin Diehl: I like your style

[00:18:02] Tiffany Sauder: I know, but it's not my season right now. My youngest just went to- Yep

[00:18:05] Tiffany Sauder: school, and so I'm getting closer potentially. But this is an example. I've had this idea in my heart- Yep ... for a long time. It's on my not now list. Um, we, we just did a remodel. Like, w- I had some big projects that were underway that I needed to get through. And once I get through some of those, then I can look at my not now list and say, "Hey, I have some capacity now that we're moved into our house.

[00:18:26] Tiffany Sauder: I've got some things I could shift around. Maybe I'll say no to something else to make some room for this new idea I have." But it's not eternally additive, and that is the point. Yep. We as women look at our time as eternally additive. Yep. We do not measure the size of our yes. And when I say measure the size of your yes, I mean literally count the minutes, the accessory minutes it takes to come in and out of the activity.

[00:18:49] Tiffany Sauder: So if you're gonna go on a 20-minute walk, you do not mat- unless you wake up and put tennis shoes on, you've got to put your sneakers on, you got to find them, probably need a little drink of water, open the door, walk out. That's probably three-and-a-half minutes, you know? Yep. Yep. Those mat- those minutes matter.

[00:19:01] Tiffany Sauder: Yep. When you get back, you might be a little sweaty. Change your shirt for your call, takes five to six minutes. So it's really a 32-minute activity to take a 20-minute walk, which is no big deal. But if you always only allow 20 minutes for it and it takes 32 minutes, then you're behind by 12 minutes, and you've got eight things in a day that that happens to- Yep

[00:19:19] Tiffany Sauder: which is another two hours that goes by, and then you don't get through your list.

[00:19:23] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:19:23] Tiffany Sauder: So it seems so incredibly simple, but literally just count the size of your yes.

[00:19:27] Erin Diehl: Yes.

[00:19:28] Tiffany Sauder: Because every yes is a no to something else. And so-

[00:19:31] Erin Diehl: Oh ...

[00:19:31] Tiffany Sauder: are you stacking it somewhere? Every yes is a no to something else. Um, and so we're not thoughtful about what our gets our yes.

[00:19:38] Tiffany Sauder: We're not thoughtful about what gets our no. We believe life is eternally additive, and that we're just gonna keep going, and we are exhausted, and we are angry, and we are resentful at the people and things that we said that we wanted to love.

[00:19:49] Erin Diehl: Hmm.

[00:19:50] Tiffany Sauder: And the thing we don't wanna hear is that it's our fault.

[00:19:53] Erin Diehl: Hmm. Oh my God. Hold on. Let me get out the violin for my tiny little choir and, and orchestra back here who's like, "That, you were playing for us, sister." This is- Yeah ... wild. 'Cause I can literally count with, with this hand how many women I'm gonna send this episode to who need to hear this, because we look everywhere else-

[00:20:20] Tiffany Sauder: But the, what's the powerful part, Erin, about it being our fault?

[00:20:24] Erin Diehl: That we have control to change it.

[00:20:26] Tiffany Sauder: Yes, exactly.

[00:20:27] Erin Diehl: It's like it's truly an internal job. It's nobody else's.

[00:20:33] Tiffany Sauder: No. Tiff. Well, the other thing that I believe happens, especially ... I'm 46 years old. I shared that. I've got four kids. My husband has a big job.

[00:20:44] Tiffany Sauder: We have a lot going on. And being needed can become our identity.

[00:20:48] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:20:49] Tiffany Sauder: And we have to make sure that, that, that stimulus of somebody saying, "Mom," that s- that stimulus of the school saying, "I need you," that stimulus of the club being like, "But you'd be perfect for it," that stimulus of your kids saying, your husband needing, your job needing, that stimulus can become our identity.

[00:21:06] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah. It makes us chemically feel important.

[00:21:09] Erin Diehl: Mm. Mm-hmm.

[00:21:10] Tiffany Sauder: And until we understand, until I'm whole, until- Mm ... I'm doing the things I need for me as a person to be healthy, like therapy and exercise- Yep ... and time outside and, and just decompressing your nervous system.

[00:21:25] Erin Diehl: Yes.

[00:21:26] Tiffany Sauder: And we give our power away to these external things that need and want us because it makes us feel fulfilled artificially.

[00:21:34] Tiffany Sauder: And-

[00:21:34] Erin Diehl: Yes ...

[00:21:34] Tiffany Sauder: and then we chase after more and more and more of it. And I don't say this in a way that is judgmental. I say this in a way that is like, honey, I've been there. I lived that story. I burnt myself out on that story. I extended my relationships on that story. I pushed my kids on that story. Like, I did all of that.

[00:21:52] Tiffany Sauder: Mm-hmm. And it is an unsustainable place to be, and we give our power away in really big ways.

[00:21:58] Erin Diehl: Can I ask you this question? What do you think it's gonna take for, 'cause, you know, we call our community the peeps, for a peep listening- to change? What, what maybe what caused you to change, and what do you think it will, will take for somebody to really take, take harness and take control of their life?

[00:22:21] Tiffany Sauder: Well, I think that sometimes it does take a crash to get our attention. Yeah. I think sometimes it takes a change season to get our attention. So I, I see oftentimes young women tuning in where it's like, "I'm getting married. I already feel really busy. I can't imagine having a husband," or, uh, "I'm having my first child, and I'm freaking out 'cause I'm working all the time."

[00:22:43] Tiffany Sauder: So sometimes there's a change stimulus that says, "I know I'm going into a new season. I need to rebuild this."

[00:22:48] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:22:48] Tiffany Sauder: But I think one of the things that is, one of the conversations that is missing in one-on-ones, in the HR toolkit, is to literally give women the tools to actually solve for what they want. Let me give you an example.

[00:23:03] Tiffany Sauder: Um, I'm an investor in several different companies, and so I work closely with the leaders that run those businesses. And I was, I was talking with one of the young women that run one of the businesses I'm heavily invested in, and she has a daughter that has some, um, needs some special accommodations. And my CEO was, was, uh, came to me with a lot of verbal, like, you know, I, uh, you know, "I'm starting, I, I'm not sure this is gonna fit, and I feel like I need a little bit of space."

[00:23:30] Tiffany Sauder: And, and I was like, "What, what's, what's real- what's really going on?" Mm-hmm. Like, what's going on? 'Cause she was, she was spiraling a bit in the demands of the job and the growth we were looking at, and I could tell she was like a combination of inspired by it and really feeling stuck by it. Yeah. And so I said, "Can we talk like what's, uh, what's going on?"

[00:23:51] Tiffany Sauder: And I got to the place where she was like, "My daughter, who needs some more support, needs me home more right now." Yeah. "She's not doing well in school. She's not making friends easily. That's c- and, and I need to support her in a different way." And I said, "Well, why d- why don't we solve for that together?" Mm.

[00:24:09] Erin Diehl: Oh my, Tiffany, why am I like tearing up? This is like a beautiful freaking story, dude.

[00:24:14] Tiffany Sauder: Well, but I said, "Well," I said, "Because what do you need?"

[00:24:16] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:24:17] Tiffany Sauder: And she's like, "I don't know." And she just started crying. Because, because when you're in it, you just need to quit. Yeah. "I just need to quit. I just need to quit.

[00:24:24] Tiffany Sauder: I just want to be with my daughter." Yeah. "I need to quit." I said, "I, I know how that feels, but what do you need?" Yeah. And so we really started talking about what do you need, and she said, "I think three days a week I need to be able to be off the computer by 3:00." Ooh. And I said, "Okay, well what time are you off today?"

[00:24:39] Tiffany Sauder: So we talked, I said, "Okay, so we've got seven hours a week of work that we've got to figure out that you're doing that we either automate, we outsource, we put to somebody else. We, we figure out like we've got to find a task that takes this much time and we gotta move it. Are we moving a department off of you?

[00:24:53] Tiffany Sauder: Are we gonna like, are we gonna outsource- Yeah ... fractional leader for HR? Like what, what are we gonna do? Because I need to micro solve this with you." And then I also said, "What are you outsourcing in your house?"

[00:25:04] Erin Diehl: Mm. Oh. She

[00:25:05] Tiffany Sauder: said, "What do you mean?" I said, "Are you doing laundry?" I, I, oh

[00:25:07] Erin Diehl: God, get into the hacks that you give.

[00:25:09] Erin Diehl: Yeah. Tell, tell

[00:25:09] Tiffany Sauder: them all the hacks. I said, "Do you do your own laundry?" She's like, "Yes." I said, "Is it a mess in the house?" She's like, "Yes." I said, "Are you always behind?" She said, "Yes." I said, "Okay. Well, for $50 a week you can get rid of that task and it's six to eight hours a week back." And, and she's a CEO of a small company.

[00:25:23] Tiffany Sauder: She's not making a million dollars a year. This is financially accessible to a lot of people. I literally helped her start to count how do we put minutes back towards- Yes ... the thing that is most important to you, 'cause your daughter needs you.

[00:25:37] Erin Diehl: That's right.

[00:25:37] Tiffany Sauder: And you need to be able to tell me that. Yeah.

[00:25:40] Tiffany Sauder: And I need to be able to help you solve for that. And I think that we're in this world, and every HR person or L&D person understands, we are no longer in a world where work and l- life are separate. Totally. We're not there anymore.

[00:25:52] Erin Diehl: Nope. The

[00:25:52] Tiffany Sauder: illusion of that went away in 2020 when our jobs- Ah ... came home and all this kind of stuff.

[00:25:56] Tiffany Sauder: And practices start at 4:00, and travel sports- Right ... and all this kind of stuff. They are integrated.

[00:26:02] Erin Diehl: Yep.

[00:26:02] Tiffany Sauder: And we have to be able to teach, to talk to the whole person, not just as it relates to their mental health and their psychology, but literally the toolbox to scale- Yeah ... their lives in the same way that we teach them to toolbox to lead people at work.

[00:26:18] Tiffany Sauder: And so that is my passion, is to say, "Yeah, when you get a raise because you're leading people and now you make $15,000 more, I want you to think about taking $2,500 of that and giving yourself time back, because this job is gonna take more capacity from you."

[00:26:32] Erin Diehl: Totally.

[00:26:33] Tiffany Sauder: And- Okay. Oh ... and we have to teach them to think like that, where your time- Yeah

[00:26:38] Tiffany Sauder: is as much a unit of economy as your money is. That's it. And we don't talk about it that way.

[00:26:43] Erin Diehl: Oh my God. I lo- I have a friend, my husband, uh, who, uh, who feels like... Okay, so similar. He's a man, okay? But we're gonna, we're gonna just talk about this in the mindset. Like when you're in it, sometimes you just can't see the forest through the trees.

[00:26:59] Erin Diehl: I'm like, "Get somebody to cut the grass. You travel three weeks a month."

[00:27:03] Tiffany Sauder: Mm-hmm.

[00:27:04] Erin Diehl: He will not let anybody cut our grass but him. But you know how it takes two hours on a Sunday for him to do that when he could be with our son? That, that type of mindset, I think so many successful, um, high-achieving people like to keep some of those tasks and those hacks that you so graciously give out to themselves.

[00:27:25] Erin Diehl: Because they're like, "No, I'm capable. I can do it." But I think the mindset shift that you're trying to get us to think through is you are now making more money. It's now time for you to invest in your time differently.

[00:27:39] Tiffany Sauder: I, I, I actually- Yeah ... will say it's still up to you, but what's the cost of the yes? Yeah.

[00:27:43] Tiffany Sauder: So the cost of the yes for your husband to mow the lawn is that he's not with your son for two hours on Saturday. Yeah. Yeah. And he may say, "That's fine. It's cathartic for me to do something physical. I don't mind that it gets overgrown sometimes." Like, he might say, "This is a perfectly fine decision for me."

[00:28:00] Tiffany Sauder: What I don't want you get to the place of is where you're resentful-

[00:28:03] Erin Diehl: Yeah ...

[00:28:04] Tiffany Sauder: about the choice you're making. Own it. Yes, I know. Yep. Choosing to mow the lawn means sometimes it's gonna be overgrown. Yes, I know choosing to do the lawn means that sometimes you guys are gonna go do something without me when I'm home.

[00:28:14] Tiffany Sauder: Yes, then choose it, but you're a grownup. That's it. So let's stop complaining about choices that we made for ourselves, because that's the racket that we get into. Totally. And I think especially as women, we complain to one another, we encourage one another in our complaining, because you're doing it and I'm doing it, complaining.

[00:28:32] Tiffany Sauder: And so we're normalized in our reaction to life by saying, "Oh, we must be doing it right." Yeah. And I think there's a different choice. I wanna take a quick moment to thank my partners at Share Your Genius. For the past four years, they have been an incredible part of my journey. Behind the Microphone, share Your Genius is a content and podcast production agency that helps leaders and brands bring their message to life.

[00:28:55] Tiffany Sauder: So, whether you're trying to find your voice, develop a content strategy, or get your leader behind a microphone, they're gonna help you make it simple, strategic and impactful.

[00:29:03]

[00:29:05] Erin Diehl: Oh, Tiffany. Okay, I kind of just want to hug you right now. And I remember some of our other conversations. You give out so graciously hacks that you give out in your Life of And program, which is such a fantastic program.

[00:29:20] Erin Diehl: What would you say, the laundry service is always one that sticks out to me. If you're talking to a woman right now who is running a company, running a team, running an HR team, is, is mid-level in their career, so they have a great salary. What is the one thing, the one hack you would tell them has changed your life, could change theirs?

[00:29:41] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah, I think the three sort of, uh, I sort of say the holy trinity of outsourcing is, uh, is- Yes ... grocery delivery, which is very accessible, um, getting your house cleaned, and getting your laundry done. Yeah. Those are ubiquitous in every city, in the, uh, in their... It, it's like no- you're not uniquely qualified to fold your underwear, I promise.

[00:30:01] Tiffany Sauder: My goal is to- Yeah ... normalize that, like with- Yeah ... getting your house cleaned. So, uh, those three things. Laundry gave me so much time back. These people are professionals. It's folded so beautifully. Your, like, drawers will be Marie Kondo'd, and it's just incredible. Love

[00:30:13] Erin Diehl: that. Love, love.

[00:30:13] Tiffany Sauder: Um, I think if you wanna take the next step, and, and again, Life of And is not about me saying, "Everybody spend your money on outsourcing."

[00:30:21] Tiffany Sauder: Yep. It is about saying, understand if you need to be able to take 10,000 steps a day, then you're gonna need an hour and 45 minutes from somewhere.

[00:30:30] Erin Diehl: Yep.

[00:30:30] Tiffany Sauder: Because that's how long that takes to do that. So understand what you wanna do and get rid of the rest. I have become an expert. Getting rid of the rest is, like, a full-time sport for me because there's so many things I wanna do.

[00:30:43] Tiffany Sauder: I wanna build businesses. I wanna invest in women. I wanna be able to give of myself to my family and my community and my jobs freely. so that when I'm home, I'm eating good food, I'm living in a clean house, things are organized. That's important to me. And as I've worked, I have built the infrastructure for that stuff to be s- more sophisticated alongside me.

[00:31:02] Tiffany Sauder: A part-time house manager is also a game-changer, 35 to $50 an hour generally. So again, this is not like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air that you have to be. Right. For a couple hundred bucks a week, you can have somebody come in for a half day or a full day, and food prep, just pick and put, take thing, you know, take seasonal decorations down, wrap presents, do returns, all the stuff.

[00:31:27] Tiffany Sauder: Meet, meet people who have to, like, come fix stuff at your house, uh, get your carpet cleaned. All of the things that just sort of that micro-solving that we talk about, that invisible load, handing some of that to them. Um, I've had one for about four years. She comes eight hours a week. And, um, I think it allows us to eat about 95% of our meals at home.

[00:31:47] Tiffany Sauder: Wow. Um, and so I think it's a cost neutral decision for us because- Yeah ... we don't eat out that much.

[00:31:53] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:31:53] Tiffany Sauder: Um, and it's a huge, it changes significantly the way we can be together as a family, um- Oh my God ... because we're not spending the time going out to restaurants and stuff. So those are part of my reasons for doing that.

[00:32:00] Tiffany Sauder: I love it. And also I f- you know, I've known you now, I've known you for, like, probably three years. I think we met- Yeah.

[00:32:06] Erin Diehl: Wow ... in 2023. That's crazy. And I've been following you, and I, I will say a couple things. So first of all, everybody, you need to follow Tiff on Instagram and then on LinkedIn, okay? But my favorite is watching your stories because I'm, like, such a nerd with these hacks. Like, you're like, "My house manager..." You just, like, showed a picture of all of your veggies, like, being chopped, and, like, how beautiful everything looked organized on your calendar and, or on your countertop.

[00:32:36] Erin Diehl: And you were like- Yeah ... "This took her two hours, and now I have fresh veggies and XYZ for my family of four." And you also have, like, systems in place in your kitchen for your pe- your kids helping with the- Yep ... dishwasher. And you are so systemized and hacky, and I, like, eat it up. I love it so much. So follow, you have to follow Tiffany on Instagram specifically for the stories, okay?

[00:33:01] Erin Diehl: And then also LinkedIn. Your, what is your newer series? 'Cause you talked

[00:33:05] Tiffany Sauder: about it. Uh, yes. Dear Working Mom. Yes. Um, it's a weekly letter to h- really myself that I just share.

[00:33:12] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:33:13] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

[00:33:14] Erin Diehl: Okay. Well, tell us. Tell them why they should read it, because I love it.

[00:33:18] Tiffany Sauder: Well, Dear Working Mom, it, it, it really is a let- it's a letter that I write.

[00:33:23] Tiffany Sauder: Um, and it has one lesson in it. And so, um, the one I'm working on this week, it hasn't published yet, the lesson is don't apologize for your decisions because we teach our children to do that when we do.

[00:33:36] Erin Diehl: Hmm.

[00:33:38] Tiffany Sauder: Um, and so- Yeah ... it's just things that life has taught me. Yeah. Um, and kind of these little proverbs in my pocket.

[00:33:46] Tiffany Sauder: I don't mean that in a sacrilegious way, but just, like, these things I know to be true. When I'm gonna be gone for a night this week, my six-year-old is less than excited about that, and I have a choice to be apologetic about that or to be confident in that with her. Mm.

[00:34:00] Erin Diehl: Mm-hmm.

[00:34:01] Tiffany Sauder: And that's a trained reaction of like, "Honey, I know you're gonna miss me.

[00:34:04] Tiffany Sauder: You're gonna have so much fun, and I'll be excited to see you when I come home."

[00:34:07] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:34:09] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah. Versus, "I'm so sorry I have to be away. I know you're gonna miss me." Totally. And it's like I, I'm, I chose it. I'm 46 years old. Yep. I'm a grown-up. I chose to be away. I know that's gonna impact her, and she's gonna be a little sad, and she'll be fine.

[00:34:22] Erin Diehl: Oh,

[00:34:22] Tiffany Sauder: yep. And that can all be true.

[00:34:24] Erin Diehl: Yep.

[00:34:24] Tiffany Sauder: Um, and so I think our vocabulary really informs the way we see things. Um, and so just being really thoughtful about the words we say. So that's one example of just a lesson. Um, some of it's lessons other women have taught me, things I've observed. Um, and it's been fun.

[00:34:42] Tiffany Sauder: It's been very reflective and fun, so.

[00:34:45] Erin Diehl: I lo- well, obviously I'm a working mom, and like I nerd out on your stuff. Like, I love the hacks. Like, the hacks are like, like handy to me every time you g- Like, I'll never forget, I listened to one... This is, oh, so Tiffany's podcast is called The Life of Anne podcast. It used to be called Fear Confident.

[00:35:05] Erin Diehl: Right. Which is, I, I loved both titles, which I wanna talk about why that shift happened. It's probably just because we, we came into The Life of Anne fully and completely.

[00:35:13] Tiffany Sauder: Mm-hmm.

[00:35:13] Erin Diehl: But I'll never forget an episode I listened to. I still think you were like, "I've lost like 15 pounds in three years by doing this," and you're like, "I have something and I just eat three bites."

[00:35:28] Erin Diehl: Totally. And it's like, and you're like, "I just, if you want french fries, I'm gonna have three fries." And I was like- My favorite ... "What a genius idea," 'cause I love fries. I'm not gonna give up fries. Yeah. My friend just dropped off a gluten-free cookie for me. I'm gonna eat... I'm gonna eat more than three bites tonight.

[00:35:42] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah. But,

[00:35:43] Erin Diehl: you know.

[00:35:43] Tiffany Sauder: But totally. I think I, um, my ther- or one of the therapists I have on my show, she says no magnetizes things.

[00:35:51] Erin Diehl: Mm.

[00:35:51] Tiffany Sauder: And that is so true of my personality. I mean- Yeah ... if you go back to teenage Tiffany or 46-year-old Tiffany- Mm-hmm ... no magnetizes things for me. So I, if you, if I'm like, "Yeah, I'm not gonna eat gluten, I'm not gonna eat sweets," it's literally all I think about is eating- Uh-huh

[00:36:06] Tiffany Sauder: those things. And so these systems are actually because I'm not that disciplined, and I have very low- Mm ... impulse control. It's not actually because I'm wired to be... I, it is the, those things are just true. I, I have a hard time remembering what it is that I want to do, and I'm very easily distracted. And so when I have these rhythms that just happen automatically at this time of day, then my, I don't screw my future self.

[00:36:32] Tiffany Sauder: Yes. You know? Yes. Who really wants to do cool things in life.

[00:36:34] Erin Diehl: Oh my God. So. Well, it got, I'm so glad we got here because I have wondered, like, how did we get here? So this is answering a question I was gonna ask as a follow-up. So keep going. Keep going.

[00:36:44] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah, I mean, I, I, we have, I've got four kids. They're ages 17 to 6.

[00:36:48] Tiffany Sauder: We're in so many different seasons. We have a thousand different toys. I don't like visual clutter. I don't like things to be noisy. But, and so it's like I just had to put systems in place to keep myself sane- Yeah ... so that we can keep moving forward. So I don't know if that makes any sense, but. It makes, it makes

[00:37:03] Erin Diehl: so much sense.

[00:37:03] Erin Diehl: Wait, Tiffany, full Life of Anne moment. I have a crying... Hold on. Oh. What's wrong, buddy?

[00:37:15] Erin Diehl: Oh. Oh. Okay, come here. Come here.

[00:37:18] Tiffany Sauder: Come in for sure, buddy.

[00:37:19] Erin Diehl: Come in. This is Miss Tiffany. Aw. Hey.

[00:37:23] Tiffany Sauder: Buddy, you just, he needs his mom right now.

[00:37:25] Erin Diehl: Okay. See, okay. And we're, we're parenting alone right now. Solo parenting. Dad's on a trip. Can you say hi?

[00:37:33] Tiffany Sauder: You don't have to, buddy. I'm so sorry. Did you have a good first day of school?

[00:37:39] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:37:39] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah?

[00:37:40] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:37:41] Tiffany Sauder: Were any of your friends in your class? Oh, that's such good news.

[00:37:47] Erin Diehl: How many friends? Like

[00:37:50] Tiffany Sauder: four? We don't know.

[00:37:51] Erin Diehl: Okay.

[00:37:52] Tiffany Sauder: So many.

[00:37:53] Erin Diehl: Oh, sorry, miss. Well, see, I'm not gonna apologize. That was me apologizing. You know-

[00:37:58] Tiffany Sauder: No problem ...

[00:37:58] Erin Diehl: it's okay 'cause this is the Life of And. Well, guess what? She has, Miss Tiffany has four little girls.

[00:38:05] Erin Diehl: She has a little girl who's six, and she just started kindergarten

[00:38:10] Tiffany Sauder: for the first time. Kindergarten, right? Yeah. Kindergarten. Yeah. She didn't like it so much. She'd rather hang out at home.

[00:38:16] Erin Diehl: Would you rather go to school or hang out at home? Hang out at home. Okay.

[00:38:20] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah. I don't blame you. It's probably pretty fun there.

[00:38:23] Erin Diehl: It's pretty fun. It's pretty hot here. Okay, I think you're gonna be okay. I'll come give you a big smooch, and I'll come, I'll come give you this. You wanna sit right here, and I'm gonna-

[00:38:31] Tiffany Sauder: You can finish with you, Erin. It doesn't bother me.

[00:38:34] Erin Diehl: Okay. You wanna sit right here?

[00:38:35] Tiffany Sauder: Yeah, just sit on my lap. Okay, sit right

[00:38:37] Erin Diehl: here.

[00:38:37] Erin Diehl: I'm cold. You can go back. Okay. I'm sorry. This is Jackson.

[00:38:42] Tiffany Sauder: Want to go get some cold ice for it?

[00:38:46] Erin Diehl: Yeah, go get... You know where Boo Boo Bunny is? In the freezer. Grab a Boo Boo Bunny. I love you. Life of And right there.

[00:38:53] Tiffany Sauder: Oh, it's so, so sweet. No problem.

[00:38:57] Erin Diehl: That's our, that's our, that's our Life of And. But okay, I don't know where I was.

[00:39:02] Erin Diehl: All I know is I love your hugs. I'm probably gonna keep that, I'm gonna keep that in. You know why? Because it's real. Yeah, it's real. And it's, it's real. It's real. I will say, Tiff, just knowing you for these past three years, it's so cool to watch you. Like, you, you sold your company. You s- you-

[00:39:21] Tiffany Sauder: I just have somebody running it.

[00:39:22] Tiffany Sauder: So I still own- You have somebody running it. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

[00:39:24] Erin Diehl: Okay. So you have somebody running it. You're doing less.

[00:39:29] Tiffany Sauder: Yes. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm working less, but my f- my primary professional pursuit is Life of And. So I'm- Yeah ... putting my primary energy towards that. But I, I work way less than I did-

[00:39:41] Erin Diehl: Yeah ...

[00:39:42] Tiffany Sauder: seven years ago.

[00:39:43] Erin Diehl: But you, you scale that with having a growing family. Yeah. Creating these systems, keynote speaking, podcasting. You really, you, you walk the walk. You know what I'm saying? Like, you really do. And I think every woman listening is looking for these, especially if y- if you're a parent. Like, I mean, that's the real stuff right there.

[00:40:09] Erin Diehl: R- real life stopped- Mm-hmm ... you know, bleeding into work, like you said, in 2020. And there's so many things that we could be doing to fill our cups that are so simple, so easy, and you're here to help women specifically live intentionally and give them the tan- What I love about you is how tangible you are.

[00:40:31] Erin Diehl: Like, super tangible. So if you're, if you could say anything to the people listening who is struggling and doesn't know where to start, where would you tell them to start? What would we, what would you give them for advice, if you could give them any last words of wisdom?

[00:40:54] Tiffany Sauder: Um, almost always when we're at this place where it's like, "I don't know where to start," I can get a woman to say, "I feel burnout."

[00:41:02] Erin Diehl: Mm.

[00:41:03] Tiffany Sauder: And burnout actually has nothing to do with being busy.

[00:41:07] Erin Diehl: Mm-hmm.

[00:41:07] Tiffany Sauder: Burnout has everything to do with putting the same effort and feeling no progress.

[00:41:12] Erin Diehl: Mm.

[00:41:13] Tiffany Sauder: And so when you look back at the last several years and you think, "I'm getting up so f**king early. I'm packing every lunch. I'm doing everything I can. I'm squeezing everything into every minute and I am kind of no better for it.

[00:41:25] Tiffany Sauder: Like, I haven't lost that 12 pounds I want to lose. I haven't connected with my mom the way that I want to. I, I haven't, you know, my, my marriage isn't where I want it to be. I'm not, like I'm never on time." Like, that is what makes us feel burnt out, is that we feel no progress.

[00:41:41] Erin Diehl: Yeah.

[00:41:41] Tiffany Sauder: And so I would beg of you, beg of you to say no to one thing that you know was a good yes in a prior season but is still not a good yes today.

[00:41:53] Erin Diehl: Mm.

[00:41:54] Tiffany Sauder: And I would ask you to reallocate those minutes to the thing that you most need to feel progress on to feel like a priority in your life.

[00:42:02] Erin Diehl: Mm.

[00:42:02] Tiffany Sauder: And it might be a 10-minute walk after dinner. It might be, um, showing up on time to pick your kid up. It might be small. But these little deposits of belief that we put that we're gonna show up for ourselves completely is the thing that erases that feeling of burnout.

[00:42:21] Tiffany Sauder: Mm-hmm. It's not actually about exiting stage left, going to Miraval, getting, you know, getting off the treadmill for five days, 'cause you're coming right back to it.

[00:42:32] Erin Diehl: Yep.

[00:42:33] Tiffany Sauder: It's about feeling progress. And I have an enormous amount of energy for my life because I see progress. And it's not that I'm not busy, it's not that there's not a lot going on, but when the things are chosen intentionally and you know why they're important to where you're going, it totally changes the energy of the day.

[00:42:51] Tiffany Sauder: So you know, it takes a minute to get there, but that's where you start. Yeah. Say no to something that you know was a yes or a no, a yes from a prior season that no longer fits, and you reallocate those minutes. And you do that a little bit every 90 days. You do a little bit more, and you do a little bit more, and you do a little bit more, and you rebuild your life.

[00:43:09] Tiffany Sauder: It's not one big makeover show. Um, 'cause that's not how it works in real life.

[00:43:15] Erin Diehl: And you are literally a walking testament to the walk that you're walking. So I give you so much kudos because it's true. I mean, you can tell in everything you do, you're so intentional. Mm-hmm. You show up intentionally. You, you are giving focus to the priorities in your life that matter.

[00:43:34] Erin Diehl: And so many women could just take... If you take anything from today, take the Tiffany Sauder case study. You are the case study. You are the muse, okay? So let me ask you this. If people wanna find you, if they wanna hear about the Life of And program for their team, for themselves, to hear you speak, where, the podcast, where do they go?

[00:43:58] Erin Diehl: What do they do?

[00:44:00] Tiffany Sauder: Well, I think the group listening to this show, y- you are people who are incredible connectors of programs to the women inside of your teams. And so we developed the Life of And program. It's a virtual, um, session that is live-streamed. I teach it live every 90 days, uh, approximately. And, um, if you're interested in just learning more about that, there's a form in, um, this show notes.

[00:44:25] Tiffany Sauder: Um, I believe we created that together. And just fill out the contact form, and we'll jump on a call, and I can go through it. There's lots of information on my website about it as well. Um, but what I found was that the connection of me telling stories starts to open up different kinds of conversations with you and the women who are working with you.

[00:44:45] Tiffany Sauder: And getting the women who are working together as a team connecting on this kind of a level changes the way the culture is formed and developed and how women start to believe that at different seasons in their life, they can still say yes to their career in different ways. And so yeah, the way I solved for my time and the way I solved for my priorities when I was 26 are very different than now, my life here at 46, and they should change.

[00:45:09] Tiffany Sauder: We just don't know how to do that alongside our employer, and I think this creates the vocabulary to be able to do that more elegantly.

[00:45:17] Erin Diehl: I do too, and I, I got to witness that program today, and was... And that was the 90-day program- Yep ... that I got to witness today. Nope. It's so tangible. She makes beautiful workbooks.

[00:45:28] Erin Diehl: I have another visitor now, Tiff. It's my dog. Big deal. Come on in. Amazing. We're just gonna bring the whole family. Um, but yeah, I really think that the Life of Anne program is so tangible. It's a great community. I could feel the energy just coming through the chat, and I also just applaud you in the work that you're doing.

[00:45:48] Erin Diehl: So if anybody is interested in bringing Tiff here for your team, the link is gonna be in the show notes that you can reach out to her. Um, okay. I had so much fun. This was a very abundant conversation in real life. Legit in real life. My dog, my child, everyone came forward. You have four kids and no one came out.

[00:46:10] Erin Diehl: Family

[00:46:10] Tiffany Sauder: members are spawning. Yes.

[00:46:11] Erin Diehl: Oh my God. So thank you for this play date, but this is a very important question, my final question. How are you going to make your workday more playful today?

[00:46:21] Tiffany Sauder: Oh. Um.

[00:46:29] Tiffany Sauder: Well, I think that, um, I think the way I did m- my live m- streams are done at this incredible production, um, facility, and the, the producing, the production and tech team there are just incredible. And I have just decided that they're my friends.

[00:46:44] Erin Diehl: Y- they

[00:46:44] Tiffany Sauder: are. And, and so the way that we banter and sort of pick on each other, and it just is, like, very playful and fun for me.

[00:46:52] Tiffany Sauder: And, you know, my, my team is not very big at Life of And. Intentionally, I've kept it very small. And so that human connection and playfulness gives me a lot of energy, and I think that they can kind of be seen just as, like, people who poke the buttons. Yeah. And I think we both feel more human when we leave the interaction, so.

[00:47:11] Erin Diehl: Dude. Okay. Well, let me just say that I got to see that in real time, and it was playful, it was joyful, it was just fun. And I'm so glad I got to witness it, and I hope everybody here listening checks it out. Put it in the show notes. Tiffany, I adore you. This was the most- Very fun, Erin ... abundant, and it's such a fun play date.

[00:47:31] Erin Diehl: And I just, I just hope every woman specifically listening to today's show puts one thing into practice. Mm-hmm. And we'll talk about that in what we call the play date practice in just a moment. Tiff, thank you so much for being here. Thank you, Erin.

[00:47:45] Tiffany Sauder: Thanks, Erin.

[00:47:46] Erin Diehl: Okay, peeps. Uh, I could talk to Tiff forever and a day.

[00:47:50] Erin Diehl: So as we wrap, here's what I want to leave you with. In improv, we talk about listening to what is not being said, and the best scene partners don't just hear the words. They hear the silence. They hear the hesitation. They hear the thing underneath the thing. And that's what, exactly what, actually, Tiffany is asking leaders to do Stop listening to the performance and start hearing the person.

[00:48:16] Erin Diehl: Tiff, I wanna thank you so much for this conversation. It is truly the type of conversations we wanna continue to have here on Workday Playdate. So thank you, thank you. Now let's get into the Playdate practice. This week, I want you to think about one woman on your team. Not the one who's struggling visibly, the one who seems fine, the one who always delivers.

[00:48:38] Erin Diehl: And I want you to ask her a real question. Not how are you? Not how are things? Something real. Something like, "What are you excited about right now outside of work?" Or, "What do you need from me that you've not asked for?" And then here's the kicker. Y'all, we gotta actually listen. Not to fix, not to solve, just to hear her.

[00:48:59] Erin Diehl: That is how you protect your scene partner, and that's how you keep your best people. And if Tiffany sparked joy in you, if what she said today made you think about what women at your company are actually carrying, please go check out her program at tiffanysauder.com\programconnect. That is the link we'll have in the newsletter, and that is the link we had in the newsletter this summer.

[00:49:24] Erin Diehl: And clearly, some of you already found it. And now you know why I was so excited about it. So until next time, keep playing, keep learning, and keep failing forward. I'll see you back here on the Playdate.