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Step into the dark side of public speaking with “The Public Speaking Horror Show,” where we expose the chilling fears and epic stage fails of speakers who’ve lived to tell the tale. Join us as we dig into their nightmares and discover the killer tips that turned their terror into triumph.
Laura Reid: [00:00:02] Welcome to The Public Speaking Horror Show. Today is a really special episode for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that today is the last episode of this season. Thinking back, I just, I'm so grateful to all the guests that I've had. All the listeners that we've had. And I've been thinking about all the stories that have been shared. And I think the common theme is facing our fears, and not just facing our fears, but then what happens next? What happens once we do? And what do we learn from it? So I'm just super grateful for all the advice and wisdom and inspiration that has been shared. So thank you. Now, today, I'm beyond excited to introduce you to someone who knows what it really takes to connect, inspire, and move people with words. Back in the 1990s, he cut his teeth the hard way, knocking on doors as an insurance salesman. Talk about a crash course in rejection, resilience, and learning how to speak so people actually listen. That early grit carried him to become a five-time district speech champion with Toastmasters International. From there, he not only stepped onto bigger stages as an inspirational speaker, but he also trained and coached others, helping multiple champions rise in their own fight. But he's not just a speaker. Today, he's the president of Collegiate Connect, an organization that inspires teenage athletes by pairing them with mentors who've walked the path. College athletes who've been there, done that. And when he's not inspiring the next generation, you might find him across a chessboard or spending time in his most cherished roles: husband, father, grandfather, brother, uncle, and friend. Please help me welcome my favorite speaking coach, my best friend, who also happens to be my husband. Today's guest, Cain Kamano. Welcome, Cain.
Cain Kamano: [00:02:16] Yay!
Laura Reid: [00:02:21] It's so awesome to have you here.
Cain Kamano: [00:02:24] It's awesome to be here. And thank you for that awesome introduction that I wrote. But you said it with feeling, so that's what matters.
Laura Reid: [00:02:34] Thank you for that. And for those wondering, no, I did not just run out of guests. I've been wanting to have Cain on since the very beginning, and I knew that I'd be saving him for last. So, Cain, I know you know a little bit about this, but we start out with a killer 13. These are 13 random questions. And no, he did not receive these in advance, even though we live together. And I just wrote them. So I know you couldn't even sneak and try to find them first. So, Cain, are you ready to play the killer 13?
Cain Kamano: [00:03:06] Yes.
Laura Reid: [00:03:07] Okay. I'm starting out with actually a really hard one for you. I apologize for that in advance, but I know you can rise to the occasion. Number one. Yeah. If you had to choose one of these two condiments, you could only choose one for the rest of your life. What would it be? Ketchup or mayo?
Cain Kamano: [00:03:34] I can't choose a mixture of both, because that's the best of both worlds.
Laura Reid: [00:03:39] No, that's a loophole. That is not. Yeah. You cannot have that. One or the other.
Cain Kamano: [00:03:44] Fine. You know the answer. Mayo.
Laura Reid: [00:03:47] Mayo. Okay. I thought it would be mayo. All right. I was trying to stump you right off the top. All right, number two. What's your favorite mantra for inspiring young athletes?
Cain Kamano: [00:04:00] Ooh, mantra.
Laura Reid: [00:04:04] Mhm.
Cain Kamano: [00:04:05] So, something I tell them repeatedly? Like move your ass? Oh no, no that's not what you're asking.
Laura Reid: [00:04:15] I was thinking of something more spiritual. But if that works. Yeah.
Cain Kamano: [00:04:19] It's just me reminding, trying to remind them over and over again that you are a leader. You are a leader.
Laura Reid: [00:04:26] You are a leader.
Cain Kamano: [00:04:27] You are a leader.
Laura Reid: [00:04:28] Yeah, I love that. Thank you. Great. For our listeners who want to come visit Hawaii. What's, in your opinion, the must-see spot for them on any of the islands?
Cain Kamano: [00:04:41] Number one, or just overall, just a handful for you.
Laura Reid: [00:04:44] Like your number one go-to. Yeah. They'd have to see.
Cain Kamano: [00:04:48] Okay. So I'm from Oahu originally. And so my number one has always been PCC. I know it's a touristy place, but you can learn so much in such a short amount of time about Hawaii, about Polynesia. So Polynesian Cultural Center. PCC.
Laura Reid: [00:05:06] Mhm, I agree. It's a really special place. I learned so much going there and it's so much fun too. All right. Number three or wait, number four. What's something most non-Hawaiian people misunderstand about locals?
Cain Kamano: [00:05:21] Before, back in the 90s, I remember when I was in the Army, and they used to ask, Do you still live in grass huts? And I was like, no, no. Today, I think it would be maybe the passion that Hawaiians have for their home and where we live, and who we are, what we want to represent in the Pacific and throughout the world, as far as having the aloha spirit. And I think they might underestimate that.
Laura Reid: [00:05:58] Mhm. Yeah, I love that. Thank you. All right. I know you love this question, but I just love asking it. What's one message that you wish you could go back and tell your younger self?
Cain Kamano: [00:06:11] Oh, you said you know the answer.
Laura Reid: [00:06:14] Well, it's just a question like I know you know, I'd probably ask, or we've asked before.
Cain Kamano: [00:06:21] What's one question you said?
Laura Reid: [00:06:24] What's one message you'd love to go back and tell your younger self? If you could tell them one thing.
Cain Kamano: [00:06:32] You know, it would have been more philosophical in my younger days. But now that I'm older, I have to go with, with invest in Apple. I'm serious. I'm like, oh, man, if we started back then, we would be billionaires. So anyway.
Laura Reid: [00:06:53] Says the Android user. Okay. Got you. All right. Number six, what's the most impactful lesson you learned from being a door-to-door salesman?
Cain Kamano: [00:07:05] There's so many. Number one is follow the process. I mean, I was trained so tightly. I mean, we're all given the same, exact same script. So even the way to say it, how to handle objections, how to answer questions. By following that training, you know, I tell the kids for volleyball, learn how to follow the rules before you know how to break them.
Laura Reid: [00:07:38] Hmm.
Cain Kamano: [00:07:38] You know, I've been playing volleyball for so long that I do things that I don't tell the kids to do because they need to learn the proper way to do it first. Whereas I could be a lot more efficient with how I move, because I know over time that 20, 30, 40 years that I've been playing volleyball, how to make it better for me. But, so knowing the rules, I think is one of them. Number two, just being a people person, being interested in people, getting to know their story, and loving to hear their story, I think, is important. Like just hanging on every word, I think, is helpful in that arena. Yeah. Just having determination and grit to succeed.
Laura Reid: [00:08:27] I love that. Thank you. All right. Number seven, do you believe in ghosts?
Cain Kamano: [00:08:33] I do believe in spirits. So if that's the same thing, then yes. Why do you ask that question?
Laura Reid: [00:08:42] I ask it to, I think I've asked it to all the guests. And I love hearing the answers. And I thought after your experience that I think we had a ghost in the house the other week. I thought for sure you'd say, yeah, definitely.
Cain Kamano: [00:08:57] Yeah. Yeah, that's a funny story. I was right here in the living room, and I came running into the bedroom. I told Laura, I was sitting on the chair behind me, and I felt something like, push into the chair. And I was like, hey, I, I think we have a ghost in the house. So.
Laura Reid: [00:09:15] Yeah. Yeah. And the cool thing about that, too, is like, I remember coming out like a few hours later, the middle of the night, and it was kind of creepy. Cain was just sitting in the chair, that same chair in the living room, very quietly, and I was like, Hey, what are you doing? And he just said, I'm facing my fears. So yeah, that was good. And that says a lot about who you are. All right. Number eight. All right. Is there a common denominator in your background of being a salesman, a speaking champ, and a coach? And if so, what is it?
Cain Kamano: [00:09:52] Yeah, it's, for me, it's loving people. Just, uh. Yeah. Going back to what I said earlier, getting to know their stories. You know, I keep relearning this lesson by coaching volleyball for 24 years. And I was reminded this year, again, just having those one-on-one conversations, just sitting down and getting to talk to them personally about their family. How's school going? What are they studying? What are their hopes and dreams? I think being once again interested in people is that through line. And you know me, I'm a people person. I think that partially means that I love being around people just in general.
Laura Reid: [00:10:34] I love that, loving people. And it reminds me of some of the best advice you ever gave me for speaking in front of people is love your audience. Like always love your audience no matter what. Even if they're heckling you, you're doing stand-up comedy or something, like love the audience. So they're always teaching you, right? Thank you. All right, number nine, we're getting there. So if someone visits Hawaii, what is the cuisine that, or something like everyone has to try on the menu besides, of course, Hawaiian pizza?
Cain Kamano: [00:11:05] No such thing. We have this discussion, ongoing discussion, yeah. I don't know who first started putting pineapple in Hawaiian, but trust me, Hawaiians do not look at that as being Hawaiian. So going back to your question, the cuisine obviously would be Hawaiian, straight up poi poke, lomi salmon, squid luau, those type of regional, what we serve here, what we typically eat here, I love. And then, you know, since I'm a product of the now times, I think the Hawaiian fusion, Asian mixes, you know, teriyaki, anyway, there's a lot. I could talk for days about food.
Laura Reid: [00:12:01] Yeah. So all the local, all the local specialties. I think my favorite's probably Llao Llao. And I know poi kind of takes some, like, an acquired taste, but I think once you start loving it, you just can't get enough of it. It's so good. All right. Ten. A movie is being made of your life. Who plays you? And if a movie title comes to mind, what is it?
Cain Kamano: [00:12:25] I have to either be Jason Momoa or The Rock.
Laura Reid: [00:12:28] Okay.
Cain Kamano: [00:12:29] Yeah, I mean, I yeah, and then the title. Ooh, ooh, Warrior For Life, I don't know.
Laura Reid: [00:12:41] Ooh, I like that. All right. I can see it. We'll reach out. I'll have their people. Oh, I see, all right. It is a good, it's a good title, though. It gives a whole new meaning if it's about you. So I think it's pretty cool. What's one lesson chess has taught you? Like a life lesson?
Cain Kamano: [00:13:03] Patience, number one. You know, it takes four hours to play a real game of chess. I don't know if that's the right word. Real game. So in order to sit down and think about one move over several minutes, you need a lot of patience, especially for me as being the opponent. And they're taking that long. Oh, man, it kills me. So that's why I resorted to playing one-minute chess. Nowadays, I just jump online and just play one minute. Yeah.
Laura Reid: [00:13:38] Great. Well, I hope chess just keeps teaching you that lesson because I know that's one you're still working on with patience. Yeah, especially with coaching young kids. All right. Number 12, is there a moment that comes to mind, like a moment in your life, where because of that, everything changed?
Cain Kamano: [00:13:59] Mhm. Wow. I mean there's so many moments in our lives.
Laura Reid: [00:14:04] The first one that kind of pops in your mind.
Cain Kamano: [00:14:06] Yeah. The first one would be leaving foster care. I was in foster care from six months old till I was about 11. And I looked at my foster parents as my parents, even though I knew my dad would come around, pick me up on weekends, I called them my foster mom and dad, mom and dad. And I was such, I was raised in such a loving way. And they're such good parents. And when I left, and it was my choice, you know, my dad asked me if I wanted to go live with him. And when I said yes, I didn't realize at the time how hard leaving would hit me. And yeah, I just remember crying just the whole car ride to my dad's house. Just that would be one. Yeah.
Laura Reid: [00:15:01] Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, definitely a catalyst moment in your story for sure. Yeah. All right, last question. I always keep it light and easy for the last one. So. Cain.
Cain Kamano: [00:15:11] Okay.
Laura Reid: [00:15:12] What's the meaning of life?
Cain Kamano: [00:15:14] Yeah, this is really easy question.
Laura Reid: [00:15:17] It is.
Cain Kamano: [00:15:20] I think I shared this with you from a corner and said, and this is a joke, I don't remember the words entirely, but it's something about conquering your villains, loving women, and drinking beer or something like that. Okay, that's not my real answer. What's the meaning of life? It's to, it's a place for us to prepare to meet God.
Laura Reid: [00:15:52] Mhm. Okay. Prepare to meet God. All right. Get busy, everybody. You survived the killer 13. Thank you for playing, Cain. Yeah, but that was the easy part. Because now it's time for deeper dive and telling stories and knowing, like, what led you to really be where you are today. I mean, not just with speaking, but with coaching as well. And, you know, I was just thinking about this because I live with you, I know that you have at least two huge shelves just packed full of speaking trophies. I have basically like this one trophy behind me, and I think I have three total, but it's the one that's kind of more prevalent behind me, and I know how much work and stress and practice and dedication it took to get that one trophy, which is second place. So, so I mean, yeah, tell us like what it takes, you know, to get to where you, where you got and what sparked that. So, Cain Kamano, what's your story?
Cain Kamano: [00:17:06] Yeah, definitely a passion and love for speaking, for just getting up in front of people and sharing stories. The dedication it takes, like you said, the practice, the writing, and rewriting. I figured there's a saying about a great story isn't told, it's retold or written and rewritten. And so I enjoyed that process. If you don't enjoy it, then you probably won't survive it. And it won't, you won't do well in it, just like anything else in life, I feel. Having a good support team around me, encouraging me, giving me the feedback that I need, it's super important. Um, and just having fun with the creative process, seeing how deep or not so deep I want to take, share a message. Take a message. Deliver a message. All the words. All the words. Patience. We talked about perseverance. Commitment. If you have prepared me, I would have had them all behind me. And it would have been better.
Laura Reid: [00:18:20] No.
Cain Kamano: [00:18:21] It's probably about 30, I think. 30. Not. Not all of them are big, you know, some of them are. Are the acrylic size like this small, but each one definitely is a different story. A lot of the same process, you know, sitting down and writing and thinking and rewriting. But most of them are all different. And as far as the messages, how much humor, I think there was one with no humor. In fact, I remember this. It was at the International Speech Contest in Vegas, and it was about forgiveness. So it wasn't, I didn't treat it like a light subject. And so there was zero humor. And I remember one of the world champs coming up to me after I asked him what he thought, he was in the audience. He said, it's a good speech, but he said it's not guaranteed that you'll win if you have humor. But he said it's guaranteed you'll lose if you don't have it. And him and I debate that. He said that nowadays, but I know he said that. And so after that lesson, I've added more humor, had a lot more fun, and maybe a lot more success too.
Laura Reid: [00:19:40] Mhm. I love that. And it's kind of a way to enjoy the process more. I wrote down enjoy the process because that's what you said earlier. And it just reminds me, too, of just even the meaning of life. And a lot of the through lines of some of your answers are about just enjoying that process. Right. Being present in it and, you know, making it fun. All of that. But, but that said, this is The Public Speaking Horror Show. And there are definitely times where we're not enjoying the process as much, or we're in it and we're struggling. But do you have a story to tell? You said, like, every trophy kind of has a story too, and maybe there's some stories and the trophies not won as well. But what's the story that comes to mind for you where you struggled or it was like much harder than you thought, and what you learned from it, how you recovered from that?
Cain Kamano: [00:20:33] Yeah, I have two. One is more funny than scary. It was a speech in which I was talking about, speaking at my friend's funeral and saying something that's a little, I forgot what it was, what I said. It might have been made up. That means I don't know. I think it was a contest or a humorous speech contest. And so at the end of the story, I said, yeah, my friend punched me in the eye, and I had to put a steak on it, and I had an actual ribeye steak, and I put it on my face. And I never practiced this part before because I just got the steak that morning, and I put it on my eye, and it kept falling off. And I had to pick it up. And then I had to talk like this for a little bit. But with the steak on my eye, it's one of the more memorable ones.
Laura Reid: [00:21:33] Props gone bad. Yeah, yeah. I've gotta. I gotta ask though, did you still eat the steak later?
Cain Kamano: [00:21:39] Of course. Yeah.
Laura Reid: [00:21:40] I know you love ribeye. Okay. All right. Good. So did it hit the floor? Mostly, just was okay.
Cain Kamano: [00:21:47] That's good. It did not hit the floor.
Laura Reid: [00:21:51] But not that that would have mattered with you eating it, but...
Cain Kamano: [00:21:53] Yeah. Probably not. Yeah, you cook it, it's good. Eight, five-second rule, and all that.
Laura Reid: [00:21:59] Yeah, totally.
Cain Kamano: [00:22:01] The scarier one was you talk about learning from our mistakes, I tried to... I don't know if this is the right word, pre-emptively,Hey not make this mistake that happened about forgetting my words by telling a friend and giving my friend the script for my speech. I said, hey, I just kind of wrote this last night. Can you help me, you know, remember, if I look to you like if I do this, can you give me the next line? And so there came a part where I blanked out. So I looked at my friend, I gave him the nod, and they were like...
Laura Reid: [00:22:44] Oh, no.
Cain Kamano: [00:22:46] And like, I was trying to be discreet. And then I told my friend, Can you just look at the script and give it to me? Give me the next line? Yeah. There's like a maybe 10-second moment of silence before all of that. But then they ended up giving me the line, and I went on with the rest of my speech, and everyone in the audience after thought that that was part of the speech. That was part of how I set it up.
Laura Reid: [00:23:13] Yeah, that was generous of them.
Cain Kamano: [00:23:15] Yeah, right. Exactly. I'm like, dying over here. Yeah. And then I think forgetting your words is probably going to be the number one fear for most people who are standing that want to say something important, right? They want to deliver a message or deliver a specific line, even, that's impactful. And so I think, I don't know, I've had that happen at least a handful of times. But I've learned time after time after time to not panic, to just, it's okay. And for me, I just start speaking about something around it. What I just last said, and then it'll pop back into me what I was supposed to say, and then I just carry on, and there's one district final that I won that went that way. Like nobody knows that I made it like, I forgot, but I know because if you look at my script and you watch the recording, this line is not in the script because it's made it up on the spot. And so it's, yeah, not panicking, but those, when those times happen, it's definitely feels like a panicable moment. If that's a word.
Laura Reid: [00:24:33] It is now for sure.
Cain Kamano: [00:24:36] Yeah. For your listeners, if you want a new word. Yeah, just come see me. I'll give you a new word every time.
Laura Reid: [00:24:41] You're good at making up words. Well, it sounds like I mean, what was the main lesson that you learned from that as far as, like, what do you tell people to not forget their words and not be in that panicable moment?
Cain Kamano: [00:24:58] Thanks for using the word. It validates it.
Laura Reid: [00:25:00] I applied it, yeah, yeah.
Cain Kamano: [00:25:04] Nowadays, I try and have people that speak from an outline, which is better than an entire script. I mean, you want to have a script, if you want to say something important, say something impactful, meaningful. You want to nail those words because the order of words and the exact words are super important. It makes it all that much, it levels up your speech, right? But if you can just speak in chunks or remember chunks like, okay, this opening, I'm talking about the beginning of my life, and then talking about my parents, and the ending is about the message about loving and family, whatever it is. Now knowing that chunks, I can speak fluently on any of those subjects at any time if I forget a line. So I think that helps. I've been out of speaking coaching for a while now, as you know, and in fact, Laura is probably my only client.
Laura Reid: [00:26:07] Yeah. It's debatable. Yeah. No, no. Still your client. Yeah.
Cain Kamano: [00:26:14] Yeah. I helped her get that one trophy that she's...
Laura Reid: [00:26:18] You definitely did. Yeah, you definitely did.
Cain Kamano: [00:26:21] But if you want to remember everything, I don't know how much, you know, I know I can memorize probably at least a thousand words, but it takes me a long time. So if you want to do the same, you just got to practice like a song, you know? I'm sure you know the words for entire songs. And if you were to play those 5, 10 songs in a row, you could sing all of them. I know kids that know all the lyrics to Hamilton. I don't know how many songs, 40 songs Hamilton has, you know?
Laura Reid: [00:26:49] Yeah.
Cain Kamano: [00:26:50] So it just takes time. And once again, that passion and dedication to your craft that will help with that.
Laura Reid: [00:26:58] For someone that is listening, who just wants to start getting into speaking and especially speaking competitions and maybe joining Toastmasters, like, what's your advice for someone who's really just starting out and just wants to level up their speaking skills?
Cain Kamano: [00:27:16] First of all, I don't think they're they're around any longer, but joining a door-to-door insurance sales company. No. No. Like you said, joining Toastmasters is where I learned most of my craft. And they give you time to practice and just get your feet wet, get that experience being in front of people and delivering a message, whether it's a table topic, which is one minute, or a normal speech, which is 5 to 7 minutes, or they have lessons now in which you could give a one-hour keynote. And so as you progress through the lessons, the booklets, whatever you want to learn, I think Toastmasters is a great place to start.
Laura Reid: [00:28:11] Mm, I love that. Now it sounds like there is a lot of overlap between from one of those killer 13 questions, like kind of a common denominator between salesmen being salesmanship and coaching and coaching young kids and speaking all of that. But, you know, in some ways, if any of our listeners own a small business or they're an entrepreneur, you know, you are, you're speaking and you're selling and you're trying to influence people. And even if you're just giving a speech, you know, you want to inspire other people or influence them to think about the message that you're sharing with them. So what is some of your advice for how those things overlap? Whether someone's starting a business, wants to get in touch with that in their mission, and just being able to influence and inspire people?
Cain Kamano: [00:29:01] Number one, it has to, you have to set an intent. What's your intent? When I was in insurance sales, the intent was to make a sale. But with the belief and understanding that I'm doing it for their best interests. So whether it's giving a speech or coaching kids and a hitting technique for volleyball, and doing it with their best interest in mind. And I have maybe a personal agenda, if that's what you want to call it, that they have to go hand in hand. You cannot just have it all about you; it has to be about someone else, about giving back, about helping, about serving. So yeah, that is, I think it helps me at least.
Laura Reid: [00:29:52] Yeah, I think that's really good. Like thinking about I love that you said it's not about you, because I think when we start out speaking, we're very focused on ourselves and how other people see us and what we're going to say, or we're going to look, how we're going to sound to others. But really, when you take the focus away from yourself and think about the audience, whatever that audience is, whether it's one person you're selling to or, you know, a big, on a bigger stage? It's so important to think about them because really, sales is just trying to help someone else with whatever challenges they have.
Cain Kamano: [00:30:25] Yeah. Going back, you know, something that helped me, you know, being raised Hawaiian, you know, we were raised with ʻaʻohe hilahila, meaning no shame. No shame in the way, no shame in who you are, how you dress, how you look. So I remember all the babies, probably even up to six years old, you know, they're all taking a shower at the beach naked, you know, and it's a common thing. And I think I learned that lesson well. It serves me well today, where I have very little shame. So I have very little fear about doing things, and that's helped me. So if you want to get over that fear. Dance, dance, dance under a shower naked. Yeah. There you go.
Laura Reid: [00:31:19] I love that. That's good. It's so true. And something. It's kind of infuriating if I'm going to be honest, about you, but also, it's such good, like, you're such a good role model for it, because secretly, I think it's just what maybe we all want is to live with no shame and no fear of judgment, really, and just be able to be ourselves. And I know that you've done a lot of different speaking. So it's been, you know, speaking contests. But I also know you've done some stand-up comedy, emceeing, and I'm thinking about at least 1 or 2 times where you did some stand-up comedy and either you were heckled or something, you know, but you just laugh. It seems like you always laugh through it. So tell us more about how you can get in touch with that. Like when you're like, imagine you're doing stand-up and you're just, you're being heckled, it's not going over well. No one's laughing, whatever it is. Like, how do you just stay in that moment to just persevere and not let it get to you?
Cain Kamano: [00:32:13] Yeah. Not taking myself so seriously, I guess. And owning up to my mistakes. Even my little faux pas. If I said something incorrect, I'm like, Oh, I'm so dumb. Or making light of it. Not really owning the negative side of it, but I just, I don't know. I think I had to learn that as a kid, too. I remember being teased for my name, you know, it's C A I N. But most kids in Hawaii, we had a song called Cane Fire. And so they'd sing that song Cane Fire. And then I had, I don't know, let's see, say, oh, you can't do it now, but especially because my head is bigger, but I used to have big ears. And so I used to get teased as Dumbo all the time. And I don't know where I learned this from, but I learned early that I had a choice on how I wanted to react or respond to it. And so I just laughed at it. I just, they're laughing, and nobody's going to out-laugh me. If that's one thing, I think, if Laura was kind of mentioning, is that I love to laugh, and maybe that's where it all came from, started. Is I just feel no one's going to out-laugh me. So.
Laura Reid: [00:33:34] Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Not taking ourselves so seriously, I think, you know, and I definitely have had a lot of people I've known who have like they approach it, including myself, when I first started approaching speaking and competitions and any kind of thing you're doing in front of an audience, with a lot of seriousness. Like, it's just a lot of important self-importance, a lot of seriousness. And I think the more you can kind of lighten up about it, and it doesn't mean wing it, it still means putting in the work. But then, when it comes, like just enjoying that process again, if you mess up, laughing about it, learning from it. Right? All of that, I think it's so important.
Cain Kamano: [00:34:14] Yeah, absolutely learning from it. So there's one speech contest I was in. It was a different international semifinal, and I decided to change my speech from my district-winning speech to the semifinal level, I changed it on the Monday before I gave it on Thursday. Now, everyone in my district who came to support me knew what I originally did and what I won with, and what I'm capable of. And then they saw that new speech on Thursday. And a couple of them, a couple of them, they're like 40 people from Hawaii that came, I think, and a couple of them decided to share their thoughts with me about how disappointed they were in how I did, and yeah, it's fine. I knew it wasn't my best. I knew I was going in with it with only 3 or 4 days of practice. I know a lot of things that they didn't know. And so I was able to show them some grace regarding that, because one of the things I knew is when I prayed on the plane on which speech I should give, this new idea, it's an old story of mine, it's the day I found my mom. You know, we won't go into that here. That's for another podcast. But I felt a strong impression to just go with that story, that new story. And so, you know, I developed it for a competition. It was good. It wasn't my best. It was probably better than the average speaker. But, hey, I just followed my heart and accepted the results and moved on and learned from it.
Laura Reid: [00:36:12] Yeah, I think that's such a you know, that's a really powerful lesson. I was just thinking about this as you were speaking. Like, I believe it's always important to trust your gut and follow your heart, but it doesn't mean it's going to always get the results that you want. But that also doesn't mean that you shouldn't trust it.
Cain Kamano: [00:36:33] Right.
Laura Reid: [00:36:33] Yeah, right.
Cain Kamano: [00:36:35] Absolutely.
Laura Reid: [00:36:36] Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Go ahead.
Cain Kamano: [00:36:39] No, I was just going to say I wonder about that all the time when coaching volleyball. You know, I'm the type of coach nowadays that I want to give every kid a shot, even though I know they might not be in the best position for us to win the game. I don't know a better way to say that, but so I put them in to help them learn lessons, and at the same time, it helps me show that I trust them. You know something I'm telling them, and so I gotta, you know, put my words into action and show them that I trust them. And obviously, it rarely works out that we come out with a win, but there are other wins that are unforeseen. And, you know, these little things, these little connections pair off over time.
Laura Reid: [00:37:35] Totally. There's other ones besides the score up on the board for sure. And yeah, before we wrap up, I did want to touch on because, you know, you're an expert communicator in so many ways. And but I think just knowing you, one of the biggest struggles you've had communicating is probably with this newer, I guess they're Gen Zs or, you know, this younger, younger generation being able to really understand them, listen to them, and have them understand like what you're trying to coach them on. So it's like a whole new language. So what are some of the things that you've learned to maybe help others that are out there, whether you're a parent or a coach, or a teacher, work with this younger generation and be able to serve them well.
Cain Kamano: [00:38:18] Yeah. Number one, it comes back to the lesson I'm still trying to learn and relearn, and apply every day is patience. Patience goes a long way. Once, once, for me, patience kind of settles my mind as far as they're not doing it exactly how I'm telling them to do it. You know, they're crying because I just asked them to do something a different way that they don't want to do. You know, these little things I'm not used to as a coach. I told a parent that the longer I coach, the more disconnected I feel from the kids. And I think that's just part of me, like you said, relearning the language with each passing group of kids generation. Every 5, 10 years, there's something new, something different that we have to learn. And that only makes me a better coach. And so patience, it comes back down to what I said at the beginning about that one-to-one time that, you know, I only had, I only took one chance, I should say, and I kept saying that I needed to do more of it this time. Making time. Just like in a family, if you don't have those one-to-one conversations with your kids, with your spouse, some things are going to go off the rails, you know, and you're not going to see or hear what's lying underneath. And so when you connect, have those one-on-ones, I think everything turns out for the best.
Laura Reid: [00:39:56] I love that, yeah. Patience. Listening. Really taking the time then too, to, you know, create that time and space to listen and ask questions and start to learn their language on their terms. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Oh, Cain, thank you so much. And you know, I think a common theme today was really, you know, enjoying and trusting. Trusting the process too, and following your heart and your gut and just being open to new experiences. And you know, for those who don't know, if I hadn't, I guess, followed my heart and trusted my gut with entering one of my first Toastmasters contests, you know, just seeing us literally a sign on the on the side of the road to join Toastmasters and I did, and enter the contest, was called to that, I would never have met Cain. And like we just said too, there's other ways to win. Even though I came in second in the big contest to Cain, he came in number first, obviously other wins came out of that experience. So, so yeah, I think it's, you know, when we do kind of push ourselves towards being a little bit more courageous with how we communicate and how we listen and how we give to others, I think beautiful things often come out of that, but sometimes you just need patience too. So, Cain, tell us where we can find out more about Collegiate Connect and any last words of inspiration, or favorite quote, or anything else you'd like to share with our listeners?
Cain Kamano: [00:41:32] Yeah, if you want to find me through Collegiate Connect, if you have a teenage athlete that is looking for additional mentorship, especially one who's been down that path that they hope to get on college athletics, my website is www.collegiateconnect.net Reach out to me there. You can send me a message Or, yeah. Or email me at Cain@collegiateconnect.net. As far as final words, first of all, I just want to say thank you for having me. I know you had no choice. Oh, yeah. No, congratulations on 12 episodes or for whatever season we're in.
Laura Reid: [00:42:23] It's the first season. Yeah. Thank you.
Cain Kamano: [00:42:25] For the first season. 12 speakers. It's an accomplishment. It's something to be proud of. And I'm proud of you for having gone through it and, yeah, pursuing what was in your heart. And you did it.
Laura Reid: [00:42:43] Thank you.
Cain Kamano: [00:42:43] Great job. As far as for your listeners, have fun, enjoy the process, love people like, really be interested in them, and everything will work out for your good.
Laura Reid: [00:43:01] I love that. It's beautiful. Thank you, Cain. It's been, yeah, it's been super special having you on and being the last guest as we wrap up this season. It's just full circle. I started out, our very first guest was my bestie for life, Audrey. And ending with Cain. Yeah. And this is. Yeah. It's just been really special. Thank you so much. For everyone else, see you around the bend. And remember, the scariest thing that you can ever do is not get on that stage, not do the thing that pushes you a little bit farther. So keep pushing yourself and keep using your voice because you never know whose life it might change, even your own. Aloha.
Cain Kamano: [00:43:46] Aloha.