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With a variety of shows, Legion Podcasts brings you discussion on the worlds of horror, film and video games from an assortment of perspectives.
Hello, folks, and welcome. I'm laughing already. To the Cinema
Beef Podcast. I am one of your hosts, Gary Hill. With me tonight,
as usual, is Suzanne. Greetings from
allergy hell. I'm sorry.
Yeah, it happens.
Also with us, and certainly not least, is Mr. Jeffrey X.
Barton. How you doing, sir? Konichiwa,
indeed. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, you have to get that
conversation before the show for that. For that reference right there.
But maybe. Yeah,
maybe. I don't know. Maybe. Oh, my gosh.
All right. Yeah, I'm back from. From a small, small hiatus
on this show. Appreciate you guys for. For holding it down and
getting a little goofy on me, and that's cool, you know.
Oh, we. We all over that episode. It's. Oh, God,
it was bad. It was. It was funny. It was.
It was funny at the time. I hope. I hope it was funny like,
you know, later.
So that I never released. I lost it to my computer in
the fire. But Patrick Walsh
came on the show from the Screen Scream Queens
podcast, you know. Oh, God,
Gets Gay. I think the whole titles. They want me to see the whole thing.
It's like A Tribe Called Quest with that guy.
Yeah. And him and Suzanne were getting
in the business there, where they were. They were lit. There you go. And they
were just goofing off, and I was like, how am I gonna. This is like
a piece of shit. You know, I almost want to give it to Suzanne and
say, hey, you do this. You did this, obviously. And then, you know,
I wasn't alone. Yeah, I guess so. Miss you,
Patrick Walsh. I owe you a show, my good friend. But anywho,
we'll start the show like we always start the show. And I'll ask Suzanne
what's she been watching late. Oh, to be honest, it's mostly been watched the last
weekend of baseball, so now I'm full
on football and waiting for hockey. And I actually,
God help me, I started watching monsters.
The Menendez brothers. I am five episodes
deep, and I swear to God, I have not laughed so hard as
I have at this. It is absolutely
a sight to behold.
And the one thing that I have to admit cracks me up about this,
the excessive use of Milli Vanilli.
It is. It is very overwhelming,
and I just start laughing. When it
comes to murder, Suzanne, you gotta blame it on something, right? You know? Yeah.
Well, apparently, instead of blaming it on the rain, they blamed it on abuse.
And now the most I know about the Menendez brothers, I grew up at the
time, you know, would have been newsworthy stuff. But I Was probably about,
I don't know, eight or nine or so. You know, again, I'm showing the age
gap here is that their father was the one that owned live
entertainment. And, yeah, his murder is the reason why
I don't have a proper release of Fright Night Part two yet and
waiting, you know, so that's. That hurts my feelings.
Oh, that's terrible. Oh, my gosh.
Anyhow, Sue. Oh, yeah, And I did a little
bit. I caught part of this Albert
Brooks documentary. So I ended up having to go and watch real life.
If you ever get a chance. It is a.
He did some amazing movies. I forgot how much I enjoyed
most of his films. And it kind of ties in because he
used to do the shorts on the. At least the first season of Saturday Night
Live. He's really brilliant at, you know,
just kind of doing the slice of American life.
So it was really. It was. It was really
interesting to watch and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
And I also decided, yeah, I watched the Omen.
I watched the Omen Part 2 a while ago, and I'm like, you know,
I kind of gotta just, you know, put my feet down
and just watch the Final Conflict. I really don't see
any need to watch anything else past the Final Conflict.
Hell, I tried to watch the first Omen I got about halfway through and I'm
like, I'm gonna preserve my sanity here.
I disagree. If you watch the Omen, Final Conflict,
you watch the Omen 4 back to back, you're gonna have
a good laughter of a day. Because Final Conflict
has a baby killing montage that beats the band.
And the fourth, I remember I watched Part
four. It's just funny. It's just funny.
But poor, poor Michael Lerner's about to get killed by. You know,
her name was Delia, Little Damien girl.
And all of a sudden this undead singing choir shows
up to accompany him to his death. It's hilarious.
Come on now. You know, I haven't watched. I did watch Part four,
but I just don't feel the need to watch it again. It's like, if you're
wondering where that choir music was coming from, well,
apparently it's the undead choir that's walking with Michael Lerner wherever he
goes. And, you know. Yeah, yeah,
pretty much. And how loud was your father in law screaming last
week when Tennessee won? I was
not in the house for that.
So I don't know, but I'm sure before
my bad. Yeah, there was. Well. Oh, yeah, that was a bye week last week.
Yeah. Yeah, I didn't. We've been
spending a lot of time over with the kids,
so I think I missed the Ric Flairing that I would
normally have heard.
That's awesome. I wish I could get just a surreptitious
recording of him doing the redneck mating call
every time there's a touchdown. Oh, God,
please. You do need to do that and send it to me.
It's. It's impressive.
I'll put it that way. You really have to capture that and
send it to me. Well, my. My father's great
sports moments were him sitting on the chair in my living
room whenever the White Sox would. Would score a home run.
It was about Hawk. Harold said he would stay right along with him. You could
put it on the board. Yes. My father be right along with him
saying that. So, you know. So, yeah, when the Sox won the World Series,
they. They did it the year after my father died. So I
call that World Series my father's cruel joke from beyond the grave
of the soccer series. You know,
that's frustrating as hell, man. It is what it is, you know?
Oh, my gosh. X. What. What do you. What you were watching,
man? I've been watching a lot of stuff that
I've already seen a billion times.
But I will say this. I did watch a movie called the
Coffee Table. You've heard of that?
Yeah. It's supposed to be like this incredibly extreme,
dark sort of horror movie with a very
realistic tone.
I just hear you depressed when it's over. This is what I hear about that
movie. I think a lot of people
probably would be. I laughed my
ass off during that movie. I thought it was incredibly funny.
And I don't think I'm supposed to think that.
I think that I'm supposed to think that this is just.
God, once you. It's bad and then
you think it can't get worse, and then it gets worse and
terrible things just happen to these people. And I'm by myself,
of course, so I just. I'm laughing out loud. I think it's
absolutely hilarious. If you have a very
dark sense of humor, then you'll probably enjoy
the coffee table. It has nothing to do with coffee.
Well, not much, but yeah, I recommend
that if you're fucked up enough to enjoy something
like that. Oh, I'm in.
Yeah, I mean, it's just from the. Just from
the get go, from the married family bitching at each other to
everything that happens after that with terrible sales people
and weird kids that live down the hall who are not the
kids in the hall, which is difficult. For me to wrap my head
around. Yeah, no Kevin McDonald, then you were telling
me. Yeah, no Kevin McDonald, no Scotty Thompson, nothing. It's terrible.
But, yeah, definitely. Check that out.
Cool. I watched a bunch of stuff, and I'll talk about a
couple things. I was going to take my last. My last appearance on the show
and watch some new stuff.
Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice I saw. And that's a
film that people are praising. And I just
don't see it as far as like, hey, this was so great.
And you know what? I like this, this and this.
I don't share these feelings with Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice.
And I like part of it. And the rest of it you
can keep. And it is like the Ritz crackers
of legacy sequels. It's only good because
you waited 35 years for it. Okay, this is why.
Come here. It is. You waited 35 years for it.
And this is why people are saying, oh, it's so good,
because there's a lot of flaws in it, and it's a little too.
Little too late for me. And they replaced Harry
Belafonte with MacArthur Parker. They fucking ruined it.
And I don't like that very much.
Was it the original version or the Donna Summer version?
I don't know. They sing it as a cast at the end of the movie.
Oh. Oh, goodness. Okay, I retract my question.
Cause spoilers. Lydia makes a deal with Beetlejuice to save her
daughter, played by Jenny Ortega. And in return, she said she would marry
him finally. And this is a wedding scene where they all seem MacArthur
Park. And it's not. It just sounds terrible.
It's not the acting, it's the execution. So after
that, I watched him tried and true Tim Burton stuff that
I love because he'll bitch so much about the Dark Shadows movie that I
love. I watched that and enjoyed the fuck out of that. Because one
cruel thing that Beatrice. Beatrice does is they ruin and
they waste a Monica Belichick performance of that movie by
just, like, having her hang around and then, you know,
go away and die unceremoniously.
Now, if they would have done her. If you don't. He did. Oh, what's her
name? Not even as the
Dark Shadows. Help me out here.
Okay? Which movie.
In Dark Shadows? The one that's after.
After Barbie or Sex or whatnot.
You know, I forget the actress's name. I'm drawing a
blank. Yeah, they do Eva. What's her face?
Eva Longoria. No.
Eva Gabor. No, she's in Nightmare. No, that's Jaja.
That's in Nightmare 3. This could drag
me that though. So here we go. IMDb. Yep.
Yep. There's Duchess. Eva.
Green. Yeah. So even green. A lot better in Dark Shadows than they did Monica
Balloon. They just. They just wasted one of the
most beautiful French creatures on the planet who just turned 16. You wouldn't
know by looking at her. Yeah,
that's your biggest trespass there. If you don't be able to use but on the
Dark Shadows. Good stuff. Fun.
Not like the soap opera. Really hot goes. It's all done
for comedy. Go and watch the Cooper woman
killing hippies. It's. It's all fun. You know.
Hang on a second. Just get out of here, bro. You're causing me to
egg cat. Go. Christ. Yeah, you all
right, back to reality here. I watched something me and X both watched. I watched
Cuckoo and Oh yeah, that's a new we're
talking about. And it was enjoyable. It was different
way about it. Get too much with the plot away. But I'm much torn like
most people to where the ending was kind of like. It was kind of.
Kind of lays there. And it's a film about a
girl in her family who. Who moved to this community and.
And yeah. Yeah, she's has experiments
done and has a really interesting plot point to the.
To the point of. It's very. It's. It's. It's very different.
And I don't want to give it away, just put it that way.
What do you think, X? I'm sorry. Excuse me.
Sorry. I was about to choke, but I didn't. Oh,
aren't you all lucky? I think it
does have an interesting plot. I'm not completely sure that I understand
everything that happened,
but I will say this freaking Dan Stevens
can pretty much do anything.
As far, if I'm correct, he's. He's a British dude.
But think about it. In Abigail, he had like that tough,
almost Boston accent. And in this one,
he's a very convincing German. So his
accents are just fantastic. And I love watching him
in anything. He was pretty much the high point
of Cuckoo for me. Yeah, I'm not
sure I quite understood what the fuck happened in that movie.
I just kind of watched. I went, okay, I am
making connective leaps without any
real verification that what I'm thinking is correct.
I'm okay with that. I have
lost everyone. I'm here. Oh, okay.
I am on mute again. There we go. By the way,
I watched Strange Darling because that's a film everybody else is talking
about. And don't spoil that for me. I've heard it's amazing. I am not
going to spoil anything. But it runs like very non
linear, you know, like. Like a Pulp Fiction does. It runs in
chapters but they tell the chapters in different order
than that. They go obviously. But it all, it all comes together
in plot because it's one of those things where there's a killer
and you see dead people around and you don't know who the killer is.
But you're very, you're very surprised when the turn
happens and Kyle Gner is not an
untolerable in that movie. He. That's probably the wrong word I'm looking
for here. But people say they hate Kyle Gner and bad
things happen to him in horror films much like Justin Long. And he
doesn't suck in this movie. But you're wondering why a
killer would carry a gun. And you'll find out why a killer is
carrying a gun in this movie. And I know again no
spoilers here. It's just enjoyable.
And I talk about this. Suzanne Lurie shot by
a first time DoP. Can you guess who that is?
X a first time Director of photography.
Yeah, it's hopefully someone related to Dean Cundy.
If somebody you've known it for from TV and movies since forever.
It's Giovanni Rabisi. Yeah,
no kidding. I did not know that.
I found that. I found that out from somebody else and I was like well
I. I respect this film more now because it's. It looks great.
It's shot in 35 millimeter and it says it right at the beginning that
it's shot in 35 millimeter. And just,
just a good time until the end. And you know,
nobody has a happy ending except for you know,
the person at the end of the movie. Put that way.
Okay, there's a lot of dead bodies in
this movie. Like yeah, this one, this one won. And then you know.
Yeah but strange darling,
listen to the hype. I'd say go, go check it out.
Other stuff I've re watched. Oh, I have to
mention this. I watched Rollerblade for the first time. The notorious Roller
Blade movie. Post apocalyptic,
full frontal nude women or nuns I guess
in a wasteland fighting other gangs looking for a
crystal or something. And there is an awful puppet in the movie.
This made about thousand dollars. But I can't stop watching.
It appears like six of these movies. I had no idea.
But I may have to go watch more of them because it
was terrible. But you know, stuff kept happening to say hey,
I'll keep Watching this, you know, so it's strange.
You know the Rollerblade series, There's a roller. Rollerblade 7
and then there was a roller gator which may be connected, I'm not sure.
Yeah, this is a low budget movie and it
shows, it shows. But you know what? If you want to see
fully nude girls praying to some weird smiley face triangle
God with, with nuns, go check out Rollerblade
because you know, they probably. So it's
Witchcraft on wheels. I don't even know, man, because oh
my God, it's, it's so strange. And I think it's
important to give like plot points that the Rollerblade. But they have,
they pray to some weird God that,
that when you smile, when it flashes light and a
smiley face comes up on the screen, it heals
any wound you could possibly have. And nuns
and fully nude women, they're probably to get paid to be there. And so
the way I feel bad for them because they didn't get paid for it to
be in the movie probably. Maybe some, some spam on the craft service table perhaps,
you know. Well, I mean you had me at nuns.
Yeah, Wasteland nuns.
Yeah, that's about it for me though. I,
I watched more but I couldn't tell you what that is.
But tonight we're, we're going, we're going in
with one X's favorites for sure for one of these films
about, you know,
insubordinate humans who, who are made of parts and
get sacrificed in unique ways with
parts. The Clonus Whore and Logan's Run.
They're very different but at the same time kind of the same in certain
ways. But yeah, that's what we're doing tonight.
And we'll start in order, I believe.
No, let's start out over. We'll talk about cloners horror first, I think because this
is 79 Logan 77 or 76, I forget.
Let's see. Yes, 76. 77 was the Logan's
Run TV show that I ever watched.
Okay. The Cloners Horror 1979. You'll hear more about that
after this trailer.
Something frightening is happening at a secret place
called Clonus.
Will the truth ever get out?
You all know what I stand for. I think it's time that
I started paying back this country for some of the good things it's
given me.
It's all very step by step standardized is practical.
Lena. We're being watched, mister. What are you talking about,
Richard? Why would they watch us? For what reason? I don't
know.
Lena. There's something Strange happening here that we're. Not allowed to know about.
There's something wrong. We've been busted into Clonus.
A place where science and nightmare merge.
What are you worried about? It can't get away. Where no one can
escape the horrors that await them.
Suppose Churchill or Roosevelt had been able to live for nearly 200 years and
still function for the world. Or stop. Or Hitler.
No. No.
Please, no.
Your ear is just like mine. I just noticed.
Notice?
Even I'm expendable if it means keeping clones alive.
Don't stop at nothing to keep it a secret.
Because at Clonus, the only thing they don't use
is the scream. Peter Graves Dick
Sargent Timothy Donnelly Paulette
Breen Keenan Wynn parts
the Clonus Horror. The motion picture that
will steal your heart and your liver
and your kidneys and your eyes and your limbs.
The clones horror from 1979.
Your cheaper plot synopsis is this. In a seemingly perfect
society, one member discovers the truth about the outside world
as well as their ultimate purpose. This is directed by Robert
S. Fiveman. Like. Like Slap
Me five, I guess. Strange. A five
son. Yes. This is how it feels to chew five sun.
Was a producer a lot of things, but didn't direct many things.
Produced In Search of for five episodes. That's probably the biggest thing that you look
at right now is five In Search of episodes.
So didn't do much and that's kind of a. Yeah, I don't even know.
Written by Ron Smith, Bob Sullivan and Merle A.
Schreibman. I'd like to find out more what they did because I think this film
is very interesting. Stars Peter Graves.
Where are we at here? Eileen Deed shows up as Dana.
Yeah. Yes, indeed. Tim Donnelly as Richard.
Where we had here Dick Sargent, not Dick York as Dr.
Jameson. Had to say it like that, you know, because. Yeah,
one's just called Clone. There's more people in this film.
We'll talk more about this in the Milken win. I'm sorry. How can I forget
as Jake Noble in this movie. Your acting
royalty in the film. Keenan Wynn Clonus
Horror Again. I enjoyed the
hell out of this. I'll kick it to Suzanne first and find out what her
thoughts are in Clonus Horror. Oh God. This is
one of Pat's favorite movies. So of
course I had to dive in. I love this movie.
What they did with what they had to work with and
just such a low budget, but managed to get everything
across. Let me just start
off with evil Dr. Dick Sargent.
He pulled that off. I was not expecting him to Be
that evil. I love
that. The idea that rich people farming
their own clones to eventually replace their
parts as they got older. And the big
conspiracy theory, it was, it was done
very, very well. I love it. But the
only. I only have one issue with this movie. The pacing
is a little off because you start off on the happy note,
then you get like the real horror of the thing.
A little bit of happy. Some do try to figure some stuff out.
Then it gets really super exciting. Then it kind of slows down a little bit.
It's just the. That's the only problem I have with the movie is the
pacing. But I just love
the, the idea. And you guys all know about the,
the seven figure settlement that DreamWorks had to pay out with
this movie, right? Yeah, because of that. The island,
that Michael Bay. Yeah. I mean, did they actually think that they were
going to get away with it? It's Michael Bay, bruv. He can do anything.
Yeah, well, green films. Well, yeah, well that,
that's pretty much a given. But yeah, I guess it was an undisclosed
seven figure settlement over the copyright infringement.
I think there were over like 100 points of similarity.
I mean, did they think all of the principles were dead? This is the one
thing that I have a hard time wrapping my head around, that they.
No one would notice it was a movie that nobody had ever
seen. Did they really truly believe this?
But I put Michael Bay up there with James Cameron.
Just horrible human beings. But the
thing about this movie, the parts that are
really intense are so incredibly intense.
You don't think certain things are going to play out the
way that they do. I mean, I really.
Okay, spoilers coming.
Everybody dies. Face it,
it's not a happy ending. You have to. I've always
felt a little bit, you know, let down by
the fact that everybody dies. They are
ruthless to keep their secret, but, you know,
they've got the most powerful backing in the world behind
them. So yeah, they probably can get away with it until something
got leaked. And you don't know any more about that because
the film ends right there.
It's one of those movies. Every once in a while I think to myself,
well, maybe if it was made in more capable hands. Well,
it was made again and it was truly awful.
I think maybe we just leave this one alone and just let it be
what it is. You just, it.
You get kind of caught up in the drama of,
you know, these clones, they really.
That's all they are. They mostly lobotomize them,
but you know, they're still people
at the hearts. And then they unceremoniously.
Hey, you're going to America. Cool. Enjoy your party.
And. Oh, here, drink this. And you
do get another 30 seconds of sheer horror
before you go to sleep. It was a good twist, like, hey,
you're gonna go. You're soon on a foreign land. Hey, you're going to America.
And then America is the lab. I guess
they go to go get preserved. Oh,
yeah. It's just. There's something just
is so incredibly intelligent and well thought out
about this movie that it really. It's. It's almost
forgotten. And I did. Look, this is the only
movie that five Cent ever directed.
Yeah. And it's so. Well, I mean, you have Peter Graves there.
Just. You have like. You don't have a huge, big money
cast here, but you've got people that
are incredibly talented. I mean,
Keenan Wynn. This man has been acting long. Was.
Was acting for Jesus. Decades, until he got
blacklisted for a while. And it's.
It's so well put together and it's such an
interesting topic. So, yeah, this one. This has
always been a favorite. I was gonna go
pull out my copy, but it was too nice out,
so I sat outside and ended up watching it on YouTube.
So it's easily available.
It's. It's a good movie. It truly is.
It just captures that, you know, I was
like, 70s sci fi. It's more. And this, you know,
the. It's. There's an intelligence behind it.
It's not mindless spaceships and laser beams,
which I really don't like. There is a science
behind it. So, yeah, this one's always been a big favorite
of mine. So. By the way my
mother would love the most is Tim Donnelly, the guy who plays Richard, our running
clone of this movie, did 100 turn 22 episodes
of Emergence of Emergency, the TV show. Oh, wow.
I'm gonna love that show. She loved her some Kevin,
I guess, you know,
X. What about you, sir? Let me. Let me just do.
Love me some Julie London from Emergency.
I'm sort of weird, I guess, in this way,
because especially in a movie like Parts
where I don't mean to look
for logic, and when I do, it's in the weirdest
freaking places. Like, can I accept that?
I don't know. I guess it's the University of Southern California
where the cloning compound is where everyone
just wears track suits that looks like Susan Anton in
Golden Girl. I can accept that. I can accept the fact
that they will take clone parts and ship them off to rich
people. It's like, you know, for the cost of a cup
of coffee a day, you too could have a spleen waiting for
you. Brand new. Should yours go awry.
I can accept that. I'll take it. What I can't
understand is the President elect of the United States
just roaming around suburbia and even
on a boat with no Secret Service protection.
How is that possible? That man would have guards
up his. Up his bung hole. He can't just
scoot around unnoticed. That's the
stuff that bothers me about this. Also, you were talking
about how the scenes or intense. And you know what? Some of them
actually really are. The harvesting of clone
parts is excruciating to watch. It's really
y. But once Richard
realizes that something is amiss,
once he learns where Milwaukee is, which is really the
key to the entire history. Oh, my God,
Wisconsin. And solved everything. There is more running
and more hallways in this movie than in
Shakma tubes,
underground corridors,
streets. It's just. They may
as well have been, you know, sponsored by
Reebok or something. There's just. It's so athletic.
That. All being said, I really don't hate this movie.
I think it's funny, Suzanne, that you were like, oh, no,
everybody dies. And I'm like, suzanne, you love the 70s.
You understand that is the bleakest decade
for filmmaking so far. If anybody had
lived, I would have been disappointed.
Oh, I know. But that's, I think, what makes it drives
the point home. And that last scene,
it's just. It happens
that when he's announcing his run for presidency,
even though we all know what happened, and you just kind of
sit there with your jaw hanging out there, even though you
didn't. There's.
How can I put this? He's there.
It's an inevitability. Yes. And then at the
very last second, where they cut the movie.
So what can you tell us about this? And holds up the tape.
So it's just. But that's.
Like I said, I think if it did have a happy ending, I'd hate it.
I'd absolutely hate it. But, you know, that's in line with other political
movies of the 70s as well. So, like, you know,
all the President's Men ends with sound
bites and a teletext machine.
The Parallax View ends like that, Winter kills ends
like that. So it's very much in that vein
of we are in control and you are fucking not,
and we can do anything we want. Oh,
yeah. But, yeah, I don't hate the movie.
There are parts where I probably shouldn't have laughed as loudly as I
did.
Okay, I. I have to admit there is one scene where I just kind
of. I. I chuckled when
Lena is standing in the window when he makes his way back home.
Funny man. Funny, but it's creepy,
but kind of funny at the same time because she's got like that,
that goofy ass permigran and you know what
happened to her. And he's. He's just a
clone. He is only a clone and doesn't. Doesn't quite.
He doesn't know. But it just is weird that she's.
It's. It's like I said, mannequin, like, but you know, you know, being lomotomized,
that's kind of what happens. She's like, they adorably gave
her cerebral palsy and she's making that face right there, you know?
Yeah, she's got that clone lazy eye,
which happens after a lobotomy, I guess. Oh, yeah.
No, I don't know. Feel free to cut this
out. I'll just tell you guys. But the fate of the nobles
of Keenan Wynn and Lorene Tuttle
when their house fucking blew up. I was not happy.
I laughed so hard. I'm so sorry.
I thought that was so funny.
Oh my God. Just out of nowhere, ha ha.
We're having a good time. Isn't it a lovely after.
She's getting frisky with them. Like, my God, let the man get it on one
more time. Turn on abc. The wheel is on,
honey.
So, yeah, that made me laugh. But yeah,
very good. Good bleakness, good seventies sci
fi political drama, sort of combined.
I really hated how the clones were not
educated a lot, so they all sounded like supreme
dumbasses for the first 45 minutes of the flick. I know what's
necessary. It still got on my nerves. And yet I'd
watch it again. I'm over here nitpicking of a movie that I would watch in
a heartbeat. So never mind me, I've just undercut everything that
I've said about the movie. Except, oh no, Pat wants to
watch it this weekend. So I'm like, yeah, I'll watch it again. We'll watch
our good copy. And not the shitty one that's on.
YouTube, like, you know, in the colony live, you know,
where, by the way, this review is brought to you by Adidas. Because, you know,
those track suits are just banging throughout this whole film. And yeah,
they're supposed to be, you know, sort of mindless because they're not supposed
to think about, you know, Their situation or what's going on.
And while they all have the same almost
like cattle tags on their ears, that's what it reminded me of.
Like when you tagged that tag, your head of cattle. Yeah, those clips,
those little clips. And yeah, that's supposed
to question anything. So I can see why they kept them pretty mindless.
But colonoscore, man, first time watching
me again to tail into
the 70s. I really enjoyed myself, you know, pretty much
the whole time with this because, you know, you find out,
you don't wait like an hour for like a slow burn to find out what's
going on here. You kind of find out like right away,
like, hey, you're going to America. They have a whole party for him and then
next thing you know he's sitting on a table getting examined.
And here, you drink this. And by the way, we're going to seal you
for freshness. And then, you know, that's basically what they do.
They. They freeze dry them in those bags. And Neil diamond
tried to warn us about this.
With what? I'm sorry, of coming to America. Oh yeah,
they're coming to America today. In bags
on the corridors and on the planes to
go in a Ziploc bag.
Wisconsin. It reminds
me of the first episode of Erie,
Indiana. If you guys know what that show is. It was a Joe Dante
production. It was on NBC to where they had twin. The twins on
the show and the weird mother. And the way they
stayed young was the mother was a Tupperware, A Tupperware salesperson
and she had giant Tupperware to keep her and her sons preserved.
And this was the weird thing about the episode. And you know,
that's. That's brilliant television. I love, I love Erie,
Indiana. I digress. That is one of the only
episodes of Erie, Indiana I ever watched.
Fun. It's fun of this film.
I like the idea of this whole organ harvesting thing like Rick
got money or well, in case. In case of Keenan when
his brother has money to. To make him a clone. Because I
love that reveal when it finally makes it to. I think
we call it his person or his somebody and
it turns out his other part.
And yeah, you had that reveal and just
evil being connected everywhere. I love that this.
They had this whole Santa Clara, California vibe
to where, you know, the guy that's. That's driving the duck pepper truck is
as connected as the guy walking down the street to say, hey,
we see this car going down the road here and it's going
this way. And I don't know what dream of Dreams. This is the most
unrealistic thing about the film for me is that Oldsmobile thinking it was.
It was gonna catch a Lotus if that Lotus just like went like full speed.
You know, I don't understand that logic. But, you know, but I'm
here, I'm hearing over there. But the only real crime
for this film, for me altogether, is that I wish there was more of it.
I wish, you know, this was a 70s, like miniseries or like
this was based on a series of books that, you know, I can go explore
the books maybe, but I don't think it was that crazy successful
to say, like, kind of like V was where V had like a series
of novels that you could check out and.
But yeah, I wish there was more of this and more. More exploration
of this world of, you know, creating parts for the future,
spare parts, if you will, and just. Yeah, I know
the characters are mindless, but they're written that way.
They're not supposed to guess where they are, what's going on.
So the fact that they're, they're all. They're all kind of dense
and stupid and just like running, you know, not free thinking.
Because there's that one scene where the guy says, well, I just didn't want to
win this time. They feel like, oh, you know, this, this one's broken,
you know. But yeah,
good stuff. The writers I mentioned didn't
do much besides this, so I
don't know why that is. Maybe again, it wasn't very successful,
but I, I enjoy my time with it. It's very 70s
going into the 80s. So I,
yeah, I would watch this again. Let's go with that X
File thoughts, sir? I have a point that I can't prove.
I remember, or I think I remember this
movie being broadcast on NBC.
I may be conflating that with Colossus, the Forbid
project, but the interesting thing to me about the Clonus horror
is when that president elect knight Peter Graves gets up
to make a speech, the only microphones there are NBC
microphones. So like, no other network cared
about what this guy had to say.
And by the way, I never even noticed that I
like the end of this movie because, you know, the whole, the whole plot,
you know, is dependent on this tape. And this tape they still.
And the fact that, you know, they got, they got the word out before
their, Their untimely demise. What was.
Was pretty cool. By the way. Tell us about the Clonus thing because
you know what's gonna happen next. Either the company is fucked
or they got a move, location or whatever.
West World has fallen, if you will.
I think the end is perfect for me.
I think it's great. No, I agree. I think if there were a sequel,
they should have told the clones they're going to Mexico. That's how part
two should have been. Yeah, I'd watch this again.
It's fun, even if it's a little long in the tooth for me.
Like I said, so much running, so much
non natural fabric. But yeah, it's a good time.
Cool. Suzanne, is that for me, my only big
problem with the movie is. And you both have pointed out the
same things, the pacing is terrible.
It's. There's not really any even keel.
And I don't think that was done to keep everybody unsettled.
I think it was done because these are,
from the looks of it, a lot of first timers, they didn't quite
understand how to pace because there
are a lot this,
there are certain things they could have expanded on that they
didn't and certain things that they expanded on that they
really didn't need to. I still, once again, this is,
this is way up there. I just love, I love
how bleak it is. I love the ending.
I, you know, it's, it's always just going to
be that for me. I can't even count how many times I've watched it.
And apparently I have to watch it again this weekend, which I'm done with.
So, yeah, this is, it's great.
Bleak 70s sci fi. You know you're watching
a 70s movie when the title graphic has
no capital letters. Nope.
They couldn't afford them. No, no, too much money.
Didn't have room for that in post production.
No. Yeah, it's like Suzanne said, I think in
more capable hands, you know, this film and not
that I did enjoy time with it because I think it was, I think it
was shot very well. You know, the actors,
they had, you know, did what they could with what they had.
I think, I think it's paced
incredible because I feel, I feel the desperation like
through most of the movie. So I'm not bored with it. I checked
the time one time, it was like an hour and I couldn't believe that it
was an hour in already and only like 30 minutes to go. But I like
in like a, like a Don Siegel's hands, you know,
so somebody like that, this film, it could
have been like a much bigger production and that,
that intensity would have been exponentially more for me.
But yeah, I, I enjoy your time with it though. I would watch this again,
like you Guys said go, go find it on YouTube.
I found it on a friend's video. Video server, but that. That's. I digress.
But the clones horror from 1979.
Check it out. Next up though, is the true blue
classic that I Know X has been shopping at the best to talk about.
So we. We programmed it in a show. And I know,
and I know, and I know, and I know. It's Logan's Run from
1976. Delete, delete, delete. No, that's wrong.
That's Matt Hardy. Renew, renew, renewal. Right to the trailer.
MGM puts the future in the palm of your hand.
This is the 23rd century, where sophisticated technology
has created an automated world of wonders.
A world beyond imagination. Until now.
It is filled with beauty and the vitality of youth.
Pleasure is the way of life.
But in the 23rd century, life lasts
30 years. Not one day less, not one
day more. When the crystal in the palm of your hand
flashes its final message. Your time is up.
But there are a few rebels who run in search of
sanctuary. Logan,
trained to enforce the law, dares to become a runner
himself. He and the girl who loves him become the
hunted when they set off on Logan's Run,
a fantastic adventure through the 23rd
century.
The 23rd
century will be here sooner than you think.
Coming this summer. Logan's Run.
Logan's run from 1976, directed by
Michael Anderson. He gave us some cool stuff,
including Doc Savage, the Man of Bronze,
Orca, of course, because you gotta love Orca and
some other. Some other good, good stuff. But those two things alone should
say, hey, this guy. This guy's aces in
your book. Writer David Z.
Like Goodman, I forget what he wrote. Michael F.
Nolan. But I know George Clayton Johnson because he helped write a
good bulk of the Twilight Zone original series. So that's. That's where I know George
Clayton Johnson from.
Stars Michael York as Logan 5.
Right, right. X doesn't say. Yeah.
Logan 5 and Francis 7.
First name and number. Jenny Agitor.
Looking so good in this movie as Jessica. I forget.
Who cares? Richard Jordan as
Francis Number seven. Apparently,
Roscoe Lee Brown unceremoniously plays bot
in box in this movie. I'll talk about that in a
minute. Farrah Fawcett shows up
as Holly with all her faucet do. And then her
hair goes flat. It's very Sad. Michael Henderson
Jr. As Doc, the guy that's gonna change his face.
And the king of kings of this movie,
in my opinion. Mr. Peter used to. You sent off
one of those guys that played Doctor who. As old man.
Old man who has many cats. And we'll talk about that too,
I'm sure. I'll start
with Suzanne, because X is going to gush on this and I'm fine with that.
But go for it, sue. And tell us your thought on
Logan's Run. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I really,
really, really got. I. You gotta go to X. You got to
ask gush on Logan's Run, so I know you want to. Deep breath.
Holy damn, I love this movie. It is so good.
It is so fun. And let me tell you one reason why. It's very personal
for me. In the 70s, of course, there were a whole bunch of
sci fi blockbusters that came out. Logan's Run
I was not allowed to see even though it was
rated pg. But my parents wouldn't let me
watch Logan's Run, which is very disappointing. I wanted to go
to the theater and see this. The next year,
Damnation Alley came out and I was allowed to
go see it. And you know, every few years I go back
and I revisit Damnation Alley to see if I like it
and I just never do. It's just a terrible,
disappointing movie. That's the highest,
highest point of respect I can give that is that there are pictures and they
do move. So when I finally got to see Logan's
Run, it was worth the wait.
This movie has a lot to say about a lot of different topics. But most
of all, it looks fantastic. We get to
see. And it's obviously a miniature when you
see it from a distance, but this great domed
city and shuttle cars going
through clear tubes like. Like a habit trail for
humans. And there are fountains and there are
pink lights and they have their own government
sponsored belief system. And there's
a cutoff date for how old you can be.
It's. There are a lot of topics here that are
very heady, let's put it that way.
Michael York as Logan 5 is
really, really good because he starts off as a complete
government guy. He's an assassin.
Sorry, what's the term they use? They retire
people who try to escape. Sandman.
Yeah, yeah. Excuse me, he's a sandman.
And their guns turn people into piles of sand
that people who are on zero turn. Floating vacuum cleaners
come by and suck up off the floor of the mall. I think that's
how it's like a carnival. Just sawdust over puke.
And then, you know, Lenny with nine teeth comes over and just sweeps it up.
Same concept. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of Myself.
Please excuse me. Okay, so, big Dome City. But Logan
is a believer in everything that he
has been taught. And it's not until he receives
the tiniest, tiniest of clues
that he realizes that maybe things are
not all great in the domed city.
The people who reach 30 years of age get onto
this thing called the carousel. And they're dressed up in, like,
this crazy sort of hazmat suit meets corpse
paint. And they get on the carousel and it spins
around. And the idea is that if you make it
to the. I don't know, to the top of this void, then you
will renew and you are reincarnated and you will come back as
another version of yourself.
This movie made in 76. If you haven't seen it now, I'm sorry,
I'm about to spoil it for you. Fucking. Why would you not see
this? Logan learns that nobody
renews. Everybody dies. And these
people that he's been chasing are all trying to get to a place
called Sanctuary, where they can live past the age
of 30. And along the way, he picks up Jessica,
Jenny Agator, who is, like, in a. He finds her
in the Star Trek transporter version of Tinder,
and they hook up. Well, they don't hook up right away,
but they. They join together to get to Sanctuary.
So there's a chase because Francis, who is Logan's friend,
now has to chase Logan and Jessica. So he's got. It's the Sandman chasing
the Sandman. And the further they
get into the city, the more they realize
how much they've been lied to. They're, you know, weird little angry
children who live on a lower level called Cubs. And they have knives
and they have. And they have bad teeth. And they've obviously gotten
an advanced script for the warriors. And they all wear vests
and weird shit. And then Kerry's gonna talk
about this later, they run into a robot
called Box. And I think the reason that he's called
Box is because it looks like he was
constructed out of cardboard boxes that were covered with aluminum
foil. And then his arms are just, know, dryer duct.
He looks like something that a fourth grader would make for a science
fair. But he's got all of these people
who've tried to make it a sanctuary frozen.
And he's like, proteins and greens from the
sea. He's, like, very proud of his job as a. As a food
processor. So there's a lot of. There's a lot of stuff going on
here. It's 1976.
The film stock that Anderson chose is
very Glossy. This movie has sort of a
sheen to it. It doesn't quite look like a
video recorded television show, but it's bright and it
pops and stuff like that really comes out like in the
Dome City when they go through the, you know, the sex shop
and everything is in slow motion and there's pink smoke coming
down from the roof and everybody's doing the milkshake
and it's just a slow motion kind of
odd journey through the second level
of Dante's disco hell. I realize
that if you haven't seen the movie, I'm not making a damn bit of sense.
So let me say this. We are dealing with
the topics of ageism and
bodily autonomy. We are dealing with corporate religion
and we are dealing with.
That's what I'm looking for. I think we're dealing with freedom
here. I think it's a movie about finding your own way and
being who you are and doing that
regardless of what anyone else tells you to
do. I don't want to give away the complete ending, but it's.
It's satisfying for sure.
And I have to stop talking, though, because I've lost complete track of where I
was going. So. Yay. Now your turn, Suze.
Okay, now this is. I agree with you.
I said I'm not a huge sci fi fan, but there are certain types
of sci fi that I hold very dearly.
I like cerebral sci fi and this
truly counts. I've always just.
I agree with you. It is absolutely stunning to
watch. There's not a wasted frame
in the entire movie. Everything is
there for a reason. And I
also. What I find interesting is the fact
that, you know, Box man froze all, what was it,
10:56 of the runners. It's like they
almost encouraged them to run. So it's a food source.
It has to be a food source. So it's Soylent Green.
I was just about to say that. It is the Swanson TV dinner version
of Soylent Green. Yeah.
And it's also on top of that, you have to admit, it's a bit of
an adventure film. Once they
get away and they're trying to make their way through this terrain,
they don't know what to do. It's. It's. They're. They're experiencing temperature
shifts that they've never experienced before. The freezing cold.
And at least they were smart enough to find the skins and try to keep
themselves warm with those. But how many people probably
died there? But I mean, the thing about him being a Sandman,
but he was a little bit wiser where combat
was concerned, where probably most of the runners were
not because he was of a more law enforcement
mentality. And this is a very
satisfying movie. And it's like Carousel.
It's, it's one of those things. It's. I absolutely do not
want this explained to me. But they
all of a sudden they just kind of pop.
There's not really any. Are they being
electrocuted? Are they being what? I have no idea
why. That's just one of those little points that my brain is just like what's
actually happening here? So it's
just one of those exploding. Barbed wire match of death.
Yes, it is perfect. The exploding barbed wire match
of death. Love it. And it's.
There's nothing, there's very little that
you can say take against this movie.
So my dog is sitting here flapping our tail and
making me laugh. Once again, perfect casting,
perfect direction. They even got
an Oscar for this for I think, visual effects,
for special achievements.
There's, it's, it does have a lot to
say. I think it's, it's one of the more perfect of the dystopian
futures. And as you've seen that theme of being
basically that put down when you hit a certain
age, I mean almost a little bit in Clonus
because they get them into their most peak perfect physical condition
and then they're put into freeze dry baggies.
So it's, it's the obsession with
being young and basically not
spoiling the gene pool until you're 30.
It's. There's some. And you, you, you hit on
just about every topic. And this one truly
does. I, like I said, I think it's about one of the more perfect tales
of a dystopian future. And you're right about
the ending because the ending is. You feel it
in the fields. You really feel it. I was just
pissed off that he left his cats. But the cats will be fine. I'm sure
he'll want to go back to them or hey, you got lots of
young people now. They can start carrying them and maybe. They can start reading
some TS Eliot and name cats on their own.
Absolutely. It's just, there's just so,
so much air. It's. And it's. You're right about the way that it was
filmed. There's a sheen, there is a brightness
that, I mean, I wonder if it's done purposefully to
just to have that, you know, that youthful
glow. It's just a wonderful film.
And I mean, you have got some of the masters at work on This.
I mean, William F. Nolan, George Clayton Johnson,
my God, they wrote for Twilight Zone and
Dark Room. And I think William F. Nolan wrote Burnt Offerings
or he did the screenplay. They both did many, many screenplays
in the sci fi and horror genre.
Goodman co wrote Straw Dogs with Sam Peckinpah.
Oh shit. That's right. So I mean there's
absolutely no way that this combination could ever miss
with this. They hit all of the proper topics.
And like I said, the 70s were a strange time and
for being. For having its bleak moments.
It does end on a. In a very thoughtful
note. That's my thoughts anyway. I don't know.
Never say never about big names coming together and it not missing.
Oh, that's true. I've seen Heaven's Gate. Oh God.
How? Because I came out
because I am that old. So. Yeah, I mean,
just. What I meant was why?
Oh, dude. Because, you know, Michael Cimino
is a fantastic director. Great. I've. I had
more fun watching Roller Boogie than I did watching the roller skating scene in
Heaven's Gate. So. Oh God, Michael Shimono.
He literally had one movie that was good and
everything else was utter trash.
I mean, I wanted to like Black Rain so bad.
I actually tried to watch it about five, six times before.
I'm like, okay, yeah, I give up. This guy sucks.
He got obsessed with Asia for a while, didn't he? Because he had that movie
and he had Year of the Dragon with Mickey Rourke, didn't he? Yeah,
here, the dragons one I was thinking of. I don't think he did
Black Rain. Wasn't that one of the Scott brothers? No, I thought
he did that. I could be wrong. I've been wrong before.
Oh man. My turn. Logan's Run as
a film that I didn't see till I was in my way in adulthood.
And this was after I saw the film Free Enterprise,
which if you know, you know Eric
McCormick and Rafer Weigel, who's actually a sportscaster
for St. Louis. I think now he yes that
obsessed with Star Trek. But the in dream sequences
they have. Because what I'm doing is turn 30. Eric McCormick from. From Will
and Grace and dream sequences of
way to turn 30. And they have a whole Logan's Run fantasy of
Ray for Weigel chasing him as his friend. And they're running runner
the whole deal. And you know, that's how I know what renewal
was. And all that stuff was because of that movie. And then I saw
this movie and it's like perfect 70s sci
fi. I love the matte paintings. I Love the
model work. Like X mentioned where they get in the
clown car from hell, the bullet train from hell,
and you know, it's a model reactor, but it looks so fluid
that you don't care that it's a model. And yeah,
you said perfectly casted, perfectly written
really, because you kind of have like this whole again, again an idea of
that they've been lied to all this time and they live in this perfect
world where, you know, if you're a sandman, you have anything
at your disposal. You know, you let a perfect utopia where girls
will come to you on a video screen and then come for you if
you want them to and no one
gets married, you know, so it's perfect. No, no, no strings attached and
you know, world, you know, rupture, syphilis does not
exist at all either. They fix these problems. You know,
no burning sensations amongst the Logans and the Francises
and the Jeff and Jessica's.
But yeah, it's, it's, it's a, it's a, it's a good ride.
You know, I, I would say if I had to pick one thing
that was wrong with it, it was like, it felt like it was a little
too long. Like they, like they explored too many action set pieces.
Maybe cut out the, the sex, the sex world,
the sex room thing where they're running from Francis.
Maybe cut that little part out. Maybe. I don't even know. But fun
stuff. And I mentioned a box
portrayed in a way by Roscoe Lee Brown,
one of the most, one of the more celebrated to me, African American
character actors at the time. What do they do
to them? I'm Golla Hooper X on you. They take his beautiful black visage and
they cover him with tinfoil and give him laser guns and
scream on plankton from the sea again,
going back to the green again. Made a plankton.
Plankton runs out soil and green is made out
of Logan's run people. And yeah,
that's, that's all fun, but you know,
when Peter used to have shows up, I. It gets all better for him because,
you know, anything, any little flaw that I saw in this movie is
taken away by this bearded fat man who's
very aware of what, where he is or what he's got going on, but has
a bevy of cats to talk to. Like, who needs people when I have cats?
That's human psychology right there. Who needs people when you
got cats? Because some people suck. See,
now the cat, you have to earn their trust, you know, and earn their approval.
He's done this for all these cats with three names. And I
think it's adorable. And I think it's. It's one
of the high points of the film and an important point of the film because
it shows that you can grow past 30. And when they bring him back,
it's a big revelation, everybody. But my thing with Logan's run is
there's still the powers that be that exist in this world.
What's going to happen when the revival happens and these people
possibly get shot dead and they just like, eat the old
man for dinner or something? I don't. I don't understand. You know,
this is happy. A very happy ending, but I just don't know
what. What's your end game, Logan? You know, because you're still. You're still just
one guy, you know, who's trying to convince everybody that this,
this is the way it really is. It's like a. It's like I
need a more bleak Twilight Zone ending to this to maybe feed
the sci fi soul. But at the same time, I'm happy with
the ending that we got because Peter Ustenhoff is
still alive and so are his cats. So, you know, it's a win.
Win for me. And you almost see full frontal
Jenny Agar when she's changing her clothes. You see the butt, you see the boobs,
but you don't see the bjj. You see everything else, though, so. Well, you got
to watch Walkabout for that. Yes, you do.
That's a bonus, though, a very sleek,
not wearing much Jenny Agator. And again,
great, great paired, great chemistry between the two characters.
Richard Jordan is insane as Francis is. Just.
Just like you want him to be, just on the hunt with this obsession
with, you know, getting the one that got away because, like, the whole
deal is he's all. There's certain points of the film where he comes
down on. There's other salmons. Oh, so you let him get away again, did you?
Blah, blah, blah, blah. They don't say.
Called a. You know, basically saying you fail. You're a
failure as a sandman if you don't get your man every time. But apparently
1500 have gotten away and became property
and food for. For bot to distribute our box to distribute,
apparently. And worst casualty of the film
is Farrah Fawcett's hair because when she go to
the. To the face salon, it's beautiful and feathered out
like Farrah Fawcett's hair is. But when she escapes in
with what were they called? The rats again, X the cubs
escapes in through the tubes. Yeah,
the cubs down there protecting the entrance
to Sanctuary. We traveled in tubes as Tenacious D
says what she did. And when she came out of the tubes,
you know, her hair was flat and very sad looking. So.
Yeah, that's a casual Dan Logan's Run is her hair.
And Carousel looking like a very funny.
Possibly inspired by what
was the show Circus with the stars in the 70s.
You know, those, those kind of outfits and flying in the air
and exploding like. Like black cat firecrackers and.
Oh my God, you're implying that John Davidson
was on Carousel. Maybe he was. He was the inspiration.
You know, that's. That's a huge thing for me just to try to
process right now with. Christy McNichol
and possibly. And Sarah Purcell.
Yes. Any more names too. That would have been a circus with stars.
Come on. So you got. They got this. You know, that's.
Oh, gosh. Yeah, Logan's Run.
Great sci fi fare from the 70s. You could do a ton
worse than Logan's Run in all of our
opinions. You could do Damnation Alley.
Why are you dissing George Pipard for? Man, I don't know if I like you
anymore. Like that. Yeah, I'm not dissing George Papard. I'm dissing Jan.
Michael Vincent trekking through the desert with Dominique Sandoval
running away from giant cockroaches, whatever the heck it was.
I have to watch this again. But anywho,
final thoughts, Suzanne on Logan's Run? No,
this is a great movie and you're right, it was Ridley Scott. But I was
thinking of Year of the Dragon, but I was saying Black Rain.
So yes, there is a bit of a kerfuffle,
but yeah, Logan's Run for me, like I said, it's one of the best
dystopian future movies. You can't really
do better. I'm sure you can if you
try, but it's up there. It's one of mine.
I thoroughly enjoy this movie and watch
it quite a bit. Unmute X
Score. It is one of my favorite
science fiction movies ever. And again, we've talked about how the 70s
were an incredibly bleak decade and you were saying
you needed to be a little bit more bleak.
I. I sort of disagree with that. I'm interested how
when the people who live in the dome city discover the existence
of the old man,
that does more than Logan ever could to
get across the point that they've all been lied to and maybe it's time for
societal reform. So I, I really like that ending.
But yeah, I think as far as dealing with heavy
topics without delving into them too heavily,
which is cool because you still want something to discuss when the movie is
over. But yeah, Logan's Run, just fucking top
notch. Love it. Yeah. Yeah, I like. I like the
realism of Clonus Horror a little more than I like Logan's Run.
Because in the world we live in today, who's to say they want
like organic 3D printers to where you could build hearts or kidneys
or spleens or anything or whole people for. For that matter.
But yeah, Logan's Run is. It's fine. It's fine. Fine fantasy.
I. I have a great time with it.
Yeah, poor Roscoe Lee Brown just reduced
to a tinfoil man. But I. I digress in
that situation. Something like I
was gonna mention. I forgot what it was now. God damn it. It was
a good point too. I remember. In an hour. But.
But no, this is. This is recommended to whoever wants to watch it. You know,
just go buy that Blu Ray, go buy that. That DVD from the pawn
shop to take a chance on it. It's just fun.
Go watch how gleeful the sandman are when they kill people. Go,
go, go check that out. Because they are really gleeful when they. When they
murder a runner, you know, and yeah,
red means stop. I'll stop here with this review
and we'll come back close out the show.
As of today, childbearing is here.
Oliver Reed and Geraldine Chaplin in a new film about a most
frightening future. Mommy. You're my mommy.
Doctor. I want to have a baby. That's impossible, Carol.
I know, but I want my own baby. You know that's impossible,
Carol. No one is allowed to have a baby for next 22
years. ZPG is a motion picture that
shows what can happen. What do you think you're doing?
One word from me and you and. Her and the baby have had
it. Baby, baby,
baby. This could happen
to you any day.
Any day.
Clear. Z. PG rated.
Pg.
I'm glad you're back again, guys. With. With you people on this great program.
And again, thanks. Lots of lessons for your holding down guys
and, you know, putting out quality kerfuffles for
all.
Yes. X. Any updates on Kiss the Goat Man?
No, I'm not putting pressure on you. No, no, no, no. It's.
It's fine. Again. Look,
I. I make no excuses. I'm trying to get it going.
You have a great excuse. Tell them why. Next. You know.
Yeah, I.
October is going to be a busy month and I don't know when we're
going to have time to do it.
Grandbaby's coming here in
about less than two weeks.
I'm classic. I'm happy. I'm excited.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I am too. I just realized that
it's going to take a lot
of energy to help our daughter out when that
baby comes home. Because, you know, we're not
those people who are just like, ah, new kid, cool, see ya.
Bye. You know,
not like that. Yeah, who do you want to have.
This way between that and.
You know. Our son's birthday is this month and our anniversary is this month.
And listen, if you can't,
I just need to say this because it's really just weighing on
me heavily. If you can find a way
to donate to any charity that is helping Western North Carolina,
please do it 100%. Yes. Hot Springs,
North Carolina is where Kuti and I have gone for our
anniversary almost every year that we've been married.
And it's destroyed.
There's just hardly anything left.
And it makes me very sad because,
you know, we kind of got to know the people that live there and work
there. We know who to look forward to seeing every time we go.
And it's just, you know, it's just mud and filth
and glass and they're like, yeah, if you're coming to help, please bring
ppe because we don't know what is in this water or
what's been left behind. So absolutely friggin
terrible. So if you can help, please help. And that
is almost all I have. Listen, if you were a reader,
go over to Biff Bam Pop. It's October. We're doing 31
Days of Horror. For some reason I've been doing think
pieces. I don't know why, I don't know why I'm in that mood,
but I've got stuff being published there this month
which some of you might enjoy reading,
where the theme is the devil made them do it. And you know, devil movies
are my favorite. So, yeah, check that out. If you have
4 or 5 minutes to read an article while you're, you know,
on the pot.
Yeah, that's cool, brother. We're all waiting Beta breath when kids
to go comes back and you know, I, I'm waiting
for it and I'm looking forward to listening to it. And you guys get to,
when you get to it, you know, people get busy, you know, and your,
your show is not our, our little goofing off ass show here.
I mean, you guys script and put
work into your show and takes into your show this,
this is a one take show, people. So. So I don't put work in like
X does on his show and hope you think are we
laying down. It's just X has a lot more to do in his show than
I ever will. So blood bless, bless him and Cootie for that, you know.
Yeah. Next episode, you may not hear these guys
on that episode because I'm doing a special project with John
Cross to get more content to you people into the folks at
the, the After Movie Diner. So if you're not subscribing to the After Movie Diner,
it is a podcast that's been around for 14 years now
and it's a great thing to,
to listen to John Cross talk about films and
do Steven Seagal impressions and Jean Claude Van Damme
impressions and you know, sing songs about Donald
Pleasance. Yes, that is a thing with him. He sings songs about Donald Pleasance.
He has two albums full of songs about Donald Pleasance.
Miscellaneous plumbing fixtures on anywhere you could find music.
Go, go, go check them out. But me and him are going to be doing
a celebrating master thespian Michael
Perry. Doing one film of his and then
mixing that with a. We celebrate physical media
with some obscure title that may or may not have had a Blu ray
or may or may not have a DVD or DVDs way out of
print. Just a saving celluloid for you guys to watch later.
We're doing a film you reviewed once for Biff Ben Pop, actually X
Seizure. We're doing Oliver Stone. Oliver Stone
flick. Oh my goodness, that's a wild movie.
So we're doing that for sure for our second feature. But that's like, that's the
vibe of the show is that we're doing Michael Parade joined because,
you know, if you look at his filmography, he's done some wacky shit.
And the very first one we're doing for that one is called
Dragon Fight. And this is a film where James Tong
and Charles Napier run like a running man type thing and
Michael pray decides he wanted to escape into the Arizona desert
and it's pursued by Mike, by Robert Zadar who is wearing
like chain mail and has a battle ax in the desert.
So it's, it's Michael Pere versus Robert Zidar of the desert whilst
one of them is wearing battle armor and wielding an ax.
So if you like that. I feel like I should be in. My bunk right
now. Well, if you like that,
go check it out on YouTube. It's, it's there somewhere. I, I think somebody
uploaded with like the whole thing. And then try to start to upload
again on the same file. So it says two hours is actually only an
hour and 23 minutes of film in which James
Hong and Charles Napier are running game on Michael Pere
and Robert Zadar as they fight each other in the desert,
you know, with battle axes. So that's
the plot to do dragon fight from 1990.
That's the very first Michael Parade Joe we were doing in Michael Parade Roulette.
Literally. I'm gonna make a list of 50 films and we're gonna hit the randomizer
and that is the next film that we will do. Probably something
you've picked up at the. At the video store or the grocery.
Grocery store. Video store. Remember those kids? The grocery store video store.
And just immediately put down and said, I gotta watch this movie. But we're
gonna watch it for you and talk about it.
Because, yeah, being John Cross,
he's a Michael Perry therapy. And it's gonna be fun.
So it'll be for that.
For that thing though I keep explained over explaining things
if you want episode here. Well, one episode first of all will
be on After Movie Diner feed is why it's important to follow and
subscribe to After Movie Diner. And the next episode will
be on this feed. So you have to look. Have subscribe to both feeds
and get some great content and to
get all the Michael Pere slash physical media celebration
goodness out of myself and John Cross.
Yeah. But next up on this show, you have a couple of options.
We should do some horror stuff. So I think we might come up with some
horror stuff to do for four October.
Something fun, something silly. Probably haven't decided
what that is yet, but it's going to come in your ears
sooner rather than later. He's like, you know,
Rhiannon, you know, ex's daughter doesn't drop
quadruplets on the world or something. And, you know,
unexpected triplets or something. You know,
she's just a little thing, guys. She doesn't need triplets in her life. Okay?
Just a little thing that would be. Very sad if she had triplets.
Okay. Oh, that's a lot. Oh, my gosh.
But that's it for this. This has been your cinebeef podcast where if you've
got beef, we all renew.
Have a good one, guys. There is no sanctuary.