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Becoming sustainably human at work isn't a small undertaking. It often means letting go of systems and behaviors that don't serve us individually or collectively.
So what do we do? As individuals, as groups of folks, as leaders? How do we carve out space for our humanity while making sure we're not the only ones? How do we thrive in the workplace while not imagining we must be superhuman? How do we cultivate spaces that are generative and healing, creative and extraordinary?
I don't have the answers to those questions. And, to be fair, I don't believe one human can EVER have all the answers to those questions. I'm working through those questions every day.
This podcast curates for you a set of folks with an opinion worth listening to and sharing. So join me as I ask people I admire to share their wisdom with you in accessible doses.
Join me on my quest to become sustainably human at work.
Welcome to What's Leadership?
I'm Liz Wiltsie.
The more I learn about leadership,
the more I'm convinced there's
not a one-size-fits-all solution.
So I am on my own learning journey
and I invite you to join me.
EbonyJanice reminds me that being
open about my journey is important.
Each episode features someone I admire
with actionable insight to share.
So please join me as I
ask what's leadership?
Today I get to welcome Rebecca Davison.
She is a spiritual coach and founder slash
director of the Intuitive Life Academy.
She's also a friend of mine.
So Rebecca, tell me about your work
with the Intuitive Life Academy.
So the intuitive life Academy really
was set up from my values being
freedom, pleasure, and abundance.
Once upon a time I worked in corporate and
banking and I did that for 13 years and I
was very grateful for the experience, but
what I discovered, it took me a very long
time to identify that I did not have the
same values as that corporate institution.
And for the longest time, I felt like
there was something wrong with me
that I should have been more grateful
cause I was paid well, I had a lovely
house and a flash car and a great
group of friends, but inside I was
miserable, I was like, is this it?
Is this as good as it gets?
And, but that point in time, if somebody
had said to me, you're going to be an
intuitive or a spiritual coach, I would've
been like, what does that even mean?
What does that person like that do?
But again, that's when I started
following my own intuition, which
was really like, the universe was
basically saying this isn't for you.
This you're not in alignment, this is not
a good match, and how the universe does
that is by the way that it feels, also
known as contraction or feeling awful.
So when you're in that circumstance
where you're feeling flat and depressed,
something's not good, that contracted
feeling, the universe is trying to get
your attention to say, this is not for
you, there's something else here for you.
And what we need to do is start
cultivating the courage to start exploring
that and going, okay, what is for me?
Because we can get stuck on the
problem rather than training
ourselves to find the solution.
So the Intuitive Life Academy was
really born out of wanting to help other
people to learn the skills, to be able
to do that: to cultivate the courage,
to look within themselves and go, if I
was allowing myself to have a purpose
driven life, what does that look like?
And how do I create that for myself?
And that's where we experience a lot
of freedom, and with freedom comes the
choices to how we spend our time, how
we spend our money, hence the abundance.
But also pleasure.
If it's not fun, if you're not
enjoying yourself, what's the point.
Oh, really.
And the world full of so many choices
that we have, we really do have to
honor ourselves enough to go, I am
powerful and I get to make choices
that really serve me, but I need to
know myself to be able to make those
choices, to be able to be in service to.
And again, service a lot of people
might go, uh, being in service to
others, but that's actually a very
high spiritual concept, which is
when you are in service to other
people, you are giving to yourself.
Could go into universal law here,
which is we're all connected.
So when we give to others, we are
literally giving to ourselves,
that's going to bring us the deepest
level of fulfillment to do that.
But yeah, to find the thing that is yours,
which is so important in this day and age,
because a lot of people go into fear, they
go into doubt and they get sucked into,
I have to do this because of the money.
And that will grate, it's like running
your fingers over the cheese grater,
is going to really end up hurting.
So we need to learn that skill set to go.
Okay, what do I need to do or
learn about myself to be able to
cultivate what I really love to do?
Yeah.
And what you said at the beginning
in terms of, I should feel grateful?
I get that, I hear that all the time
from people at work and work regular,
just work contexts, that particularly
in the middle of pandemic, that I
should be grateful that I have a job.
And so then the number of people I know
that go to work with that feeling of Ugh.
Totally fine and as a frightening
place to be, because when I was going
through that experience, I was like, I
have no idea what the solution is here.
I could not see the wood for the trees.
And that was frightening.
Now, looking back, I had a million
quotes around my desk, right?
Which were all about inspiration
and overcoming obstacles.
So there was a clue there, but at
the time, you just, you're in it.
And you're wondering,
how do I get out of this?
So that's a good place to start.
I start asking questions, but often it's
like, how do I get out of this rather than
what is it that I love to do, and how can
I open that up to experience more of that.
And that often, I don't know if you can
tell, but for a lot of people that brings
up a lot of fear, because when I was
looking to leave the Bank, I was terrible.
People say to me things like,
basically, you're going to die out
there, you're not going to survive,
you're not going to be successful.
I had people telling me all these
stories about people who'd left an
institution and then they'd gone to
do something and it had collapsed or
fallen over or no, it didn't work.
So she had to go and find a job.
But I actually took that as motivation,
I would say, thank you so much for giving
me the contrast so I can go deep into
my own resolve and to be the solution.
I'm like, I'm going to make
it work, I'm going to be the
person who's not that person.
But again, this is the contrast
that we're up against and it can
be daunting when you're in it.
That's why we need to
cultivate the courage.
And the courage comes from the
french word cure, which is heart.
So courage comes from your heart.
And that's why we need to
take our attention out of our
head space and into our heart.
And this is literally how we experience
more fulfillment and to learn how to
listen to the callings of your heart.
That does take courage because in a
world full of intellectuals who are
saying, you need to do it this way
to be the rebel who actually leads
from the heart is an act of courage.
But, this is also so important
in terms of leadership.
Because you think about it, if
you have a leader who is leading
from their head versus a leader
who's leading from their heart.
Everybody is going to, and this
is what my Maya Angelou said right
that people won't remember what you
said or what you did, but they will
remember how you made them feel.
And we desperately need
this in the world today.
We need to learn how to
be human in our workplace.
We have so many structures in place which
actually don't support us as humans.
We don't have those conversations at
the workplace where we can legitimately
say, I feel scared about this, or I
feel intimidated or I feel confused
or I feel upset, or I feel um nervous.
We actually need leadership to
start with those conversations so
we can all be more transparent.
Because what amazes me, what amazed
me about banking, was how you would
go to work and there would be an
expectation not to have any feelings.
And I used, I said to my Mom once,
It's like, I feel like I have
to go to work and wear armor.
And I'm sure a lot of women can
relate to this because it's like, the
emotions are associated obviously with
being feminine, with being a woman.
So therefore, to work in that
kind of environment, which is more
predominantly masculine, it's like
you leave half yourself at the door.
You don't have any emotions.
You go into more masculine energy,
you shut the emotional side down.
So therefore you're actually holding
back a lot of, a lot of potential, a
lot of enthusiasm, passion enjoyment
fulfillment by having to agree
to these unspoken expectations.
And it can, over a period of time, it
can literally suck the soul out of you.
People will need to learn how
to create environments where
it's safe to really be honest.
But of course, that means that we need
to look at ourselves and that where
people can often feel intimidated
because what if they don't like
what they see or what if they have
some uncomfortable emotions present.
And this is a lot of the work that I
do, which is unpacking that, looking
at parental imprints, looking at the
limited beliefs that we've picked up.
But when we do this, we
get free and we get clear.
And when we get clear, that's when we can
truly step into leadership because we can
stand up and say, I actually know who I
am, and because I know who I am, I can
facilitate you into knowing who you are.
By being present to your emotions because
I've been present to my own, by being
present to the darkness within you,
because I've been present to my own.
And of course, and that there's
more intimacy, there's more
vulnerability, and people are crying
out for that in the workplace.
To be seen to the witness, to have
somebody who's, I care about you,
you're doing a great job, but this
isn't going so well, what's going on.
And looking at it holistically, not just
as some work performance, but human basic
needs of what's going on emotionally.
All right.
What's happening at home?
How you're feeling about
these different aspects?
We need to start looking at people
holistically rather than going, as
soon as you walk in the door, there's
a number slapped on your head, and
then you have to go sit at your
desk and perform a certain role.
You're going to get limited
results by doing that.
And what's your, a place that
people can start getting at some
of that, from your standpoint?
Yeah.
So asking questions can
be such a game changer.
Even when it comes to a negative thought
process that you might be having.
To even interrupt yourself and
say, is there a different thought
that I can think than this.
Again, the standard, is it true,
is it kind, is it necessary?
That may be beneficial to some people.
When it comes to energy though,
what we look at a lot is we use
the emotions as a guidance system.
So if you're at work and you've had
a circumstance where, you know, maybe
somebody said something and you're feeling
triggered, which is usually when you
have an emotional response in your body.
You start asking questions, right?
First question is whereabouts do you
feel it and on or around your body.
Identify where it is, you know.
Like I have said, in your head, is it
in your ankles, is it your heart space.
Once you've identified
that, then you can ask.
And again, you might not necessarily
be able to do this in conversation.
You might need to remove yourself
and take some more time to
reflect, but make sure you do that.
Make sure that you are proactive enough
to go, I need to go and actually practice
some self-care by asking myself some
questions and taking some time to
have some insight on the situation.
Next question is, what age
did I pick this emotion up?
What age did I pick, like, just asking.
Not having to think about it.
It's just an intuitive response.
What's this connected to what age?
And then we ask, I hopefully you've
already identified the emotion.
What is the emotion, if you have one
already, and who is it connected to?
Because when we're having an
emotional response like that, like
what I call being triggered, it
is looking to show you something.
There's something within you
that's looking to be healed.
So what happens, of course, is our
ego gets in the way and our ego
goes, it's the other person's fault.
Right?
Instead of actually going to the
soul level with the souls going,
hey, there's some wounding here
that's looking to be resolved.
Take some time to look at that because
eventually if you do that and you heal
it, you shift it, you raise it, you heal
it, you actually end up thanking the other
person for bringing it to your attention.
Which is a very different paradigm
from being in that space, Oh my
God, I can't believe they see that.
That resistance, that duality that we
go into by pushing or shoving or going
external as opposed to going actually,
what is this showing me about me?
I'm having a physical
body response to this.
I can feel the emotions.
So there's something within me
that's looking to get my attention.
And by asking some questions, you
can even start shifting the energy
by being willing to inquire about it.
And sometimes, I always hold this
in that, if you're able to do that
and get some clarity around it.
You will also see if it is something
that needs to be addressed.
If it is something that needs to be
addressed in regards to the other person,
you have much more data to deal with that.
You've separated, which pieces are yours.
And then you're like, wait, this
person actually is, in some cases,
like abusing me in real ways.
Because that happens in the workplace.
And again, because this
is what it will show you.
Let me give you an example.
Like I was speaking to a client the other
day, and she'd had the circumstance happen
where she'd ended up feeling very shamed
in quite a dramatic way and public, but
even asking her those questions, she
identified that it was two years old and
the feeling of course was fear or panic.
But it was connected to her mom.
Like it was literally her mom's energy.
So she's realizing that she's carrying
this energy for her mom and then the
circumstances being created literally
to show her that so she can let that go.
And again, it was really interesting
cause as we went down into the
emotions, underneath the fear was anger.
So the fear was the plug, because
if she let go of the fear, then all
this anger was going to come up.
I actually recommended that she go and
do something physical to express the
anger, or to, I don't know, go and buy
some plates or something and smash them.
But something physical to
actually instruct your body that
it's safe and good to let go.
Of course, in a safe environment,
to let the energy go as
looking to be moved through.
And it's literally these energies,
if we don't pay attention to it, we
can be running our life through our
subconscious and not being consciously
creating what we want, just running
on default, and then thinking that
life is beating us up when it's not.
It's actually trying to show you something
about yourself and if you take the time
to make the inquiry and listen, you're
going to get so much information, which
is going to make it easier to show up
at the workplace the next day and go,
oh wow, this person's, actually in
my life, to help me grow, to help me
evolve, dare I say even spiritually.
When you have that perspective and
you're going through life to see
everybody in your world is there to
help you evolve and you start asking
questions, you literally change the
paradigm in regards to how you see life.
And it becomes way more magical because
you're like, oh my goodness, this is
all being orchestrated for me to grow.
The universe can know, or your
intuition can only bring you so many
messages or insights or awareness.
If you're not curious, if you're not
asking questions, if you're not exploring
that, you're going to get limited results.
If you start exploring it, you tap
into your infinite power, boom.
Anything is possible and you can literally
start living in bliss and joy frequencies.
A lot of people hear that and they
think, oh, that's not even possible,
but it's because they're living in a
frequency that doesn't even support that.
I always, I sit here and I think I
regularly just think about how that
dovetails with systems of oppression.
And being like, that doesn't negate
like bigger things, but how do we
exist as regular normal humans?
Oh, that's interesting, you said that,
because usually in my work it's two parts.
The first part is let's heal the trauma.
Let's heal all the times and
places in the past you've
actually, you've been really hurt.
There is disappointment, there's
fear, there's rejection there's
abandonment, there's suppression,
depression, oppression, whatever it
is because everybody has something.
Right.
And we have to be very aware of that
when we're interacting with people.
If you are intuitive and
psychic, you can see the wounding
very clearly and very easily.
So you can have more compassion.
So you can show up in a way
that is kinder and more gentle.
You can lead with your heart
and go, how can I give to you,
how can I be of service, once
you've dealt with your own stuff.
But first and foremost, we always need
to address the wounding so we can get
somebody living in their heart space.
And from there, massive
creation is available.
Massive change evolution, transformation,
bliss love frequency, is available
because that person is not, they're
directing their energy in a different way.
Instead of holding this kind of
woundedness, which takes energy and
effort and bandwidth, once they don't
have to do that anymore because it's
healed, they can step into massive
creation and go into those energies of
being unstoppable and really leaning in
and going, what is it that I do wish to
create and doing it from a clean slate.
You think about it.
If somebody is trying to solve
a problem from woundedness, it's
not going to be that effective.
Because their emotional field
is going to get in the way.
We need to be so aware of this when it
comes to solving problems in the world.
That why one of the best things we can do
to change the planet is change ourselves.
I know it sounds like a cliche, right?
But it's true.
If you are healed within yourself
and then you literally go out and
you're emitting a different frequency,
that's going to have a positive
impact on the people around you.
Literally seen this happen
where people have come to me,
they've healed themselves.
And then they call me up and they
go, oh my God, you'll never guess
what's happened with my mom or
my dad or my brother or my son.
And I'm like, yeah.
And they think in some ways
that, do you know what it mean?
Like it's magic and it's not.
It's energetic frequency.
You shift everything
around you, shifts as well.
It has to.
So yeah.
Being willing to take ownership for your
feelings and being willing to take those
feelings into the workplace and that these
days is definitely an act of courage.
How do you be the person who stands up a
business meeting and is really vulnerable?
And says, I'm scared that my
values are not in alignment
with what we're doing here.
How do you have those
kinds of conversations?
So we are fundamentally getting to the
root cause of what's really going on.
And this happens in
workplaces all the time.
Have you ever been to a meeting
where you can feel the subtext,
but nobody's speaking to it.
How many times have we had that happen?
Like you can feel the dissonance
in someone or somebody's angry,
or somebody showing up late
or being passive aggressive.
And we're not speaking to those
things because we don't feel.
We have to create a container where
we're focusing on this particular thing.
But if we just had a little bit of
courage and granted, it may take a little
bit of time, but once everybody's on
board, that's going to create such a
different dynamic creative environment
and loving environment where people
can create something brand new.
Now, the companies who have the courage
to do that, they do get amazing results
because they are focusing on the culture
and making it safe to be a human.
So what are you, the question I ask
everybody, what are you grappling with?
Am I grappling with?
Or I don't know if it's a
grapple, but it's been a very
enlightening process, I think.
I've shared with you personally
that my dad passed away about three
months ago and not due to COVID,
just he had complications with his
health and it just deteriorated.
But, that process has
been quite enlightening.
I guess what I'm grappling with
though, probably learning how
to deal with particular people.
I have had some limitations, I think,
in my awareness in regards to how
people, we just talked about this
previously, like narcissistic behaviors.
And how to help people who are
narcissists because everybody needs help.
Narcissism comes from trauma and I
think it's easy again to get caught
up in the problem of that person's
and narcissist so full stop, but
that's not actually the solution.
It's like, how do we need to evolve
as a species to be able to find
the solution to that kind of thing?
Because narcissism is
deeply rooted trauma.
Obviously has hideous side effects in
regards to how narcissists treat people.
But just looking at that and going,
okay, what is the next evolution
of how do we help people who
have developed those behaviors.
Yeah.
So I've been grappling with that
a little bit in terms of going,
what is the solution for that?
How do we help somebody who is constantly
trying to gain significance over others?
How do we help somebody who literally
can't hear you because their
brain is wired in a different way?
So they can't hear the feelings.
They can't understand.
They don't make it safe to be vulnerable.
Because if you have a narcissist in
the workplace, that's going to make
it really difficult to create an
environment where everybody feels safe.
Because they'll ride rough shot
or the people's feelings, though,
they won't make it safe to share.
And again, and we're crying out for this.
We really need to start going,
okay, what is the solution to that?
Cause, it's just like
the bully and the victim.
Everybody often sides with the
victim, but the bully needs help too.
So we need to evolve our consciousness to
go, okay, what is the solution to that?
How do we help that?
And the ironic thing about
narcissists, of course, to raise,
they often don't want help.
Cause they see there is beneath them.
Now I'm grappling with that a little bit.
If anybody's got information about how
to deal with narcissists effectively,
I'd be very open to that because
again, it's about creating safety
with human emotions and narcissists
can't even do that for themselves,
let alone offer that to other people.
So what's the solution
to that, definitely.
Rebecca, we could talk forever.
I know right.
What's important things
to think about too.
Like even if you're going to
work tomorrow, it's like, how do
I bring a little bit more of my
humanness to this environment?
And even starting with love, how
can I love my workmates more?
They're doing the best they
can with what they've got.
If you've got somebody in the
workplace who's triggering you,
they're actually offering you a gift.
So do the work to unpack it and look
and see what is it that they're showing
me on a soul level about myself.
Cause that's actually
looking to be healed.
So just having those different
perspectives can just open up more energy,
more connection, and more intimacy.
And we need that from our work.
If we're going to be spending 40,
60, 80 hours a week doing that, we
want to be doing it in a place of
harmony or that contributes to our
purpose, rather than feeling like it's
pulling or we're in the wrong place.
That's a beautiful place to end.
Thank you so much.
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